#since jedi survivor came out and now totk I’m pretty video game obsessed right now

[kazscrows]

Crooked Kingdom Reread

Chapter 4: Inej

I like that this chapter starts right off with Inej trying to escape on her own

She’s not a damsel in distress sitting around waiting to be rescued

She’s going to try escaping on her own first

The room was pitch-black, and all she could hear in the silence was her own rapid breathing as panic seized her again.

She’d leashed it by controlling her breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth, letting her mind turn to prayer as her Saints gathered around her. She imagined them checking the ropes at her wrists, rubbing life into her hands.

My heart aches for her

But what I love is how she leans into her faith

Her actions and her Saints aid her 💕

She did not tell herself she wasn’t afraid. Long ago, after a bad fall, her father had explained that only fools were fearless. We meet fear, he’d said. We greet the unexpected visitor and listen to what he has to tell us. When fear arrives, something is about to happen.

I think about this quote from Inej’s father a lot

Whenever I find myself feeling afraid it comes to mind

Well either this quote or Yoda’s quote about fear

Fear isn’t bad, but we can’t let it control us. Sometimes it can guide us to make slightly better decisions, but we can’t let it stop us in our tracks

So far Inej has thought of:

Her past kidnapping/trauma

Her saints aiding and protecting her

Her father

And finally how Kaz would already be free of his bonds if he were in a similar situation

Van Eck could not have chosen her jailer better. Bajan was Suli, only a few years older than Inej, with thick black hair that curled around his collar and black gem eyes framed by lashes long enough to swat flies. He told her he was a music teacher indentured to Van Eck, and Inej wondered that the merch would bring a boy like that into his household given that his new wife was less than half his own age. Van Eck was either very confident or very stupid. He double-crossed Kaz, she reminded herself. He’s leaning heavily into the stupid column.

Van Eck is hoping to lull her into a false sense of security with someone who looks familiar from her past

Her tune will change about Bajan soon

And heck yeah Jan Van Eck is extremely stupid!

He should have never tried hiring Kaz at all really. Conning him is like signing a death warrant

She thought of Jesper toying with his guns, Nina squeezing the life from a man with the flick of a wrist, Kaz picking a lock in his black gloves. Thugs. Thieves. Murderers. And all worth more than a thousand Jan Van Ecks.

They’re her friends. Her family-

Then where are they? The question tore at some hastily stitched seam inside of her. Where is Kaz? She didn’t want to look at that question too closely. Above everything else, Kaz was practical. Why would he come for her when he could walk away from Van Eck with the most valuable hostage in the world?

My heart is being ripped right in half—

They are coming!

He’s coming!!

Just hang in there-

Bajan wrinkled his nose. “Let’s not speak Suli. It makes me maudlin.”

Right before this Inej had called him “Shevrati” Know-nothing in Suli

If you’re like me you had to look up what maudlin means

It can mean sentimental or even sick

This is actually super interesting because for Inej to survive in Ketterdam she clutched onto her Suli culture and her faith

Remembering that is what has helped her survive

It looks like Bajan has done just the opposite by shunning who he used to be

That’s quite sad actually…

She knows Nina will try to come for her, and Matthias will follow because it’s what’s right

And Jesper would want to if he could

But she’s so unsure of Kaz…

…without Kaz, were any of them a match for Van Eck’s ruthlessness and resources? I am, Inej told herself. I may not have Kaz’s devious mind, but I am a dangerous girl.

I love her confidence in herself her though

It’s beautiful

Inej knew better than that. She’d learned from the best. Better terrible truths than kind lies. Kaz had never offered her happiness, and she didn’t trust the men promising to serve it up to her now. Her suffering had not been for nothing. Her Saints had brought her to Ketterdam for a reason—a ship to hunt slavers, a mission to give meaning to all she’d been through. She would not betray that purpose or her friends for some dream of the past.

She’s offered the possibility of freedom and a chance to be with her family, but she won’t betray her friends

Maybe Kaz and the others were coming for her, but she didn’t intend to wait around and see.

That’s my Inej!

Once Bajan and the guards had left, she’d slipped the shard of broken bowl from where she’d hidden it beneath the ropes around her ankles and set to work. Weak and wobbly as she’d felt when Bajan had arrived with that heavenly smelling bowl of mush, she’d only pretended to swoon so that she could deliberately knock her tray off the table. If Van Eck had really done his research, he would have warned Bajan that the Wraith did not fall.

She said she’s not as clever as Kaz, but honestly I think she could give him a run for his money sometimes

Oh gosh

Crawling through the tiny air vent would be so horrible

I never thought I was claustrophobic, but reading Inej describe the experience might be changing my mind-

Like this quote:

Every time she took a deep breath, it felt like the air shaft was tightening around her ribs.

She wished for her knives, for the comforting weight of them in her palms. Did Van Eck still have them in his possession? Had he sold them off? Tossed them into the sea? She named the blades anyway—Petyr, Marya, Anastasia, Lizabeta, Sankt Vladimir, Sankta Alina and found courage in each whispered word.

…Finally, her fingers hooked over a door frame and her hands wrapped around the knob. It wouldn’t budge. Locked. She gave it a tentative rattle.

The room flooded with light. Inej shrank back against the door, squinting in the sudden brightness.

“If you wanted a tour, Miss Ghafa, you might simply have asked,” said Jan Van Eck.

He stood on the stage of the decrepit theater, his black mercher’s suit cut in severe lines.

This scene feels very much like a play. It’s almost comical

But I guess it’s fitting considering the location

It’s also just super rude of Van Eck to just be there waiting in the dark for her to try opening the door like that

Like. It’s so ridiculously dramatic actually

And then she attempts to escape

And she fails…

It does take three guards to hold her though!

Inej is so incredibly strong. I forget that sometimes because of her physical stature

“You are not going to find your way out of this without my help or Mister Brekker’s. As he does not seem to be making an appearance, perhaps you should consider a change in alliance.”

Inej said nothing.

We’re almost to the part shatters me…. and now that I think about it that’s a really poor choice of words because of what almost happens to Inej—

“… Where is Kaz Brekker keeping the boy?”

“How could I possibly know that?”

“You must know the locations of the Dregs’ safe houses. Brekker does nothing without preparation. He’ll have warrens to hide in all over the city.”

“If you know him so well, then you know he’d never keep Kuwei somewhere that I could lead you to him.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I can’t help what you do or don’t believe. Your Shu scientist is probably long gone already.”

“Word would have reached me. My spies are everywhere.”

“Clearly not everywhere.”

Dab on him

Is that cringe to say in 2023?

I don’t care. This is the cringe™️ website for a reason

Van Eck sighed. “Remember that I have tried to treat you with civility.”

*eye roll*

I hate when the bad guy is like “now remember I used to be nice to you, but since you’re being frustrating now I’m going to be mean and hurt you mentally and physically-”

Like I don’t care how you used to be

You’re being awful Now—

You’re threatening to torture her!

And he was always awful actually

He kidnapped her and kept her bond in a tiny room- that’s not civil—

“Wait,” said Van Eck. He was studying Inej as if he were reading a ledger, trying to make the figures line up. He cocked his head to one side and said, “Break her legs.”

Inej felt her courage fracture. She began to thrash, trying to get free of the guards’ hold.

“Ah,” said Van Eck. “That’s what I thought.”

All she can manage is repeating “Don’t” over and over again but then…

“He’ll never trade if you break me!” she screamed, the words tearing loose from some deep place inside her, her voice raw and undefended. “I’ll be no use to him anymore!”

It hurts

Every single time—

Van Eck held up a hand. The mallet fell.

Inej felt it brush against her trousers as the impact shattered the surface of the table a hair’s breadth from her calf, the entire corner collapsing beneath the force.

My leg, she thought, shuddering violently. That would have been my leg. There was a metallic taste in her mouth. She’d bitten her tongue. Saints protect me. Saints protect me.

Just. Chills.

Horrifying chills

Oh Inej, I’m so sorry—

Inej could not control her shaking. I’m going to cut you open, she vowed silently. I’m going to excavate that pathetic excuse of a heart from your chest. It was an evil thought, a vile thought. But she couldn’t help it. Would her Saints sanction such a thing? Could forgiveness come if she killed not to survive but because she burned with living, luminous hatred? I don’t care, she thought as her body spasmed and the guards lifted her trembling form from the table. I’ll do penance for the rest of my days if it means I get to kill him.

Van Eck made a mistake making an enemy of the Wraith

Bajan moved to place the blindfold over her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know he intended … I—”

“Kadema mehim.”

Bajan flinched. “Don’t say that.”

The Suli were a close people, loyal. They had to be, in a world where they had no land and where they were so very few. Inej’s teeth were chattering, but she forced out the words. “You are forsaken. As you have turned your back on me, so will they turn their backs on you.” It was the worst of Suli denunciations, one that forbade you the welcome of your ancestors in the next world, and doomed your spirit to wander without a home.

Bajan paled. “I don’t believe any of that.”

“You will.”

Bajan is such a sad character

He turned his back on his own people

In her early days at the Menagerie, she’d believed someone would come for her. Her family would find her. An officer of the law. A hero from one of the stories her mother used to tell. Men had come, but not to set her free, and eventually her hope had withered like leaves beneath a too-bright sun, replaced by a bitter bud of resignation.

Kaz had rescued her from that hopelessness, and their lives had been a series of rescues ever since, a string of debts that they never tallied as they saved each other again and again. Lying in the dark, she realized that for all her doubts, she’d believed he would rescue her once more, that he would put aside his greed and his demons and come for her. Now she wasn’t so sure. Because it was not just the sense in the words she’d spoken that had stilled Van Eck’s hand but the truth he’d heard in her voice. He’ll never trade if you break me. She could not pretend those words had been conjured by strategy or even animal cunning. The magic they’d worked had been born of belief. An ugly enchantment.

But it’s not true Inej

Kaz will always come for you

Always. No matter what!

Keep your faith in him

End of Part One

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