#sindec kin

[caliginouscreature]

compilation of phone pics of tentative Zaph-self-portraits

[caliginouscreature]

being fictionkin + having an extremely obscure source + also being new to accepting being alterhuman in general has been p “Weird”, it’s like... okay... I’ve realized this part of myself... now what...

It’s good that ppl no longer tout stuff like kindating and canon calls as the goals and paths you Have To Follow when you’re fictionkin, and how dumb the prevalence of “no doubles” could be, but also maaaan kin communities on tumblr now just feel so much smaller... feels like there’s fewer options for ppl around my own (physical) age to talk to and learn from, and that pool is only SMALLER with how niche-within-a-niche my source is...

lot of my feelings and issues are like... they boil down to “yay, I’m figuring myself out better! but what do I do?”  A lot of folks go to lengths to “feel closer” to their kintypes and sources, but that’s a real challenge when there’s almost nothing out there about your ’type and source, including other fictionkin... feeling thoughtful and a tad isolated I suppose

[caliginouscreature]

a few Actual SinDec Fans following this blog now... hello... it is truly an Honor, I just hope you guys won’t be too disappointed that this is primarily a kin blog

[caliginouscreature]

I keep feeling shy and doubting being much a sphinx/sphinxlike creature, but then I look at how I draw Zaphkiel a lot of the time-- especially how I draw him in little kin-self-portraits-- and it’s like... hm... noticing a pattern, here...

[caliginouscreature]

For the ask game:

1. When did you start identifying as otherkin? In hindsight, how many of your quirks/behaviors/interests connect to your identity?

Specifically as “otherkin/fictionkin” about 1-2 months ago, but I’ve casually considered myself as on the “alterhuman” spectrum since at least 2017!  Before recently, I usually thought of myself specifically as “otherhearted”, and I may still be such, but I realized that I had gotten a not-fully-correct impression about how it is defined and experienced due to very poor documentation (esp. how pretty much all folks who blog about otherheartedness always compare it to otherkinity, which isn’t useful to people who are new and unsure about what their feelings count as).

And umm... several, to be honest!  It depends on the kintype, but they tend to overlap a little.  I will admit, there’s a lot of it that I connect specifically with my neurodivergence and traumas, but I don’t necessarily think, at least at the moment, that that’d make me exclusively “copinglink” instead, as psychological nonhumanity is really complicated and really lacks documentation compared to more spiritual-leaning nonhumanity (and someone saying “even forming a coping mechanism subconsciously without intention doesn’t count as actual ’kin”, seems to entirely dismiss the “imprinting” theory for psychological kin, but that’s another issue)... Looking back on certain specific feelings and thoughts and realizing they connect to my kintypes has been really wild and kind of funny, like... oh... most <10 year olds DON’T consider mass mind control and threats of enforced cannibalism in their daydreams about being a ruler-type figure do they... or specifically consider their classmates “inferiors” deserving of violent punishment for behaving towards me in certain ways...

Wanting to lurk in, perch on, and guard(?) fancy and old buildings is something very cool and special to me... I want to haunt some ruins so bad... I looooved being able to make people leave during the mask mandate!  It was super gratifying to see them get all huffy and just... leave because they’d get in trouble otherwise!  I really like being able to enforce a specific rule about access to something or somewhere, without exception or vagueness, and get away with it/be backed up on it...

There’s also my weird “judgmental” thing... lately been putting it together with my monsterkin and (Flora) angelkin feelings, but to be honest it could probably apply to most of them, even ones I’m more questioning on... left a job recently where most of my coworkers weren’t nice to me, and specifically felt like “they would have failed a faerie politeness test”...  I’m a very frustrated creature... not always fun to think “looks like SOMEone needs the torture town!!” or “well, NOW I kind of want to smite you 🙄 or for your failure to resonate with me to warp you out of time and space. sigh...” about someone, especially when you’re not very strong and don’t actually have any magic powers...

I could go on and on, but then this post would get extremely long and full of anecdotes I could expand on later, so I guess “in hindsight” is just a whole lot!