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[snelbz]

‘Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Twelve}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide - 

I wake up far less disoriented than I do the day before. I know exactly where I am and I know that I slept better last night than I have in a very long time.

I have to give it to Dr. Towers. She’s the relationship expert for a reason.

I roll over, expecting to find Lorcan still asleep, likely adorable with bedhead.

But he’s not there.

His side of the bed is empty, the covers folded back, but his bag is still open on top of the dresser where he’d left it last night.

My throat immediately goes dry.

Oh gods, not again.

He promised he wouldn’t leave. We’re in this together.

For better or worse.

It’s then that I smell it.

I’m out of bed and hurrying downstairs before I can think it through. I have enough control to at least slow myself before I enter the kitchen. It doesn’t matter though, because his back is to me.

And good gods, it’s a great back. I give myself a moment to appreciate it, the way his broad shoulders taper down into slim waist, which leads to his firm, tight—

“You know that I know you’re there, right?”

Busted.

Despite the flush in my cheeks, I clear my throat. “You're my husband, am I not allowed to look at you?”

He looks back, flashing me a grin. “Looking and ogling are two very different things, wife.”

Oh, sweet mother, this man is going to eat me alive.

“I woke up early and didn’t want to wake you,” he says, leaving the stove and heading for the fridge. “I went ahead and ran to the market.”

The fridge was filled with food, forcing me to wonder just how long we’d be staying in this temporary residence.

“That was sweet of you,” I confess, and I’m once again amazed how he goes from sweet to crass in a matter of seconds. “And you cook?”

“I try,” he says, but he’s smug. He pulls out a carton of orange juice and a couple of kiwis alongside a tub of strawberries. I look to the stovetop where it looks like he’s making omelets.

“I hope you like bacon,” he says, his back to me once more as he starts to cut up the fruit. “I’ve been told I put too much bacon in my omelets.”

I raise a brow. “Is there such a thing as too much bacon?”

He stills and looks over his shoulder at me once more. His eyes graze my body, making me feel naked and I realize I should have probably looked in the mirror before hurrying down the stairs. Judging by the way his eyes darken, I assume he doesn’t mind. “Good woman.”

He’s practically purring.

My heart does weird things inside of my chest.

“Need any help?” I offer as I come up beside him. Gods, it smells delicious. I can get used to this.

“If you want to get out some cups and plates I think it’s almost ready,” he says, and my stomach growls right on cue. 

“Sounds great,” I reply, taking two steps and pausing. I look at the cabinets around us. “And where can I find those?”

He laughs and comes closer, stopping right in front me and reaching into one of the cabinets behind me. After retrieving two plates, he holds them out for me. Just as I take them, he leans down to kiss me.

Slapping my hand over my mouth, I back up, clutching the plates to my chest.

Cocking his head sideways, Lorcan asks, “Is something wrong?”

“I haven’t brushed my teeth.” My words are muffled, thanks to my hand, but he hears me loud and clear.

His hand wraps around my wrist. “I don’t give a shit, Elide, I want to kiss you.”

“I give a shit,” I shoot back. “I have morning breath.”

One side of his mouth kicks up. “Don’t make me tickle you.”

My eyes widen, because he absolutely will. I know it. “Lorcan, don’t—”

He reaches for my sides and I drop my hand. “Fine!”

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulls me to him, kissing me fiercely. It’s not like any other kiss we’ve shared. I lean into it until the plates clatter in my arms and I jump back.

He’s looking down at me, wholly amused. Cocky bastard. 

Before I can move, he takes the plates from me and says, “Sit down, let me make you a plate.”

Half of me wants to tell him not to tell me what to do, and the other half of me wants to listen and let him take care of me. I listen to that half.

“Have you seen Anneith this morning?”

Lorcan nods as he turns off the stovetop and takes the omelets out of the skillet with a spatula. “I gave her breakfast. She’s sleeping in the window in the hallway upstairs.”

My heart melts at that. I know he’s not the biggest fan of my greatest pride and joy, but still….he gave her breakfast. After loading the plate with fruits for a side and filling our glasses, he brings it all to the table and sets a beautiful display in front of me.

It’s delicious. 

I’m tempted to moan with every bite of my omelet but I refrain, just barely. It’s filled with different meats and cheeses and peppers and spices, and when I’m done with it I wish I had another. Lorcan’s a way eyes keep darting up to see my reaction and I can tell he’s pleased. 

A man that can cook.

I consider myself lucky.

When we’re done with breakfast I offer to do the dishes. At first, he protests, but then when he sees he’s not winning that argument, he says he’ll go for a run.

When he comes back, he’s drenched in sweat and I’m sitting on the couch watching reality tv with my cat. It’s a sight to behold.

He catches me watching him, yet again, and my cheeks burn as he comes to the couch and threatens to tackle me.

“You’re disgusting! Take a shower!” Even as I laugh, I’m holding him back from the couch with my foot against his bare, damp abdomen.

His eyes trail up my leg, my thigh, and eventually land on my own eyes. “Care to join me?”

My cheeks heat and that muted throbbing between my legs intensifies. “Shut up.”

I can’t say that I’m not tempted and he knows it.

That cocky grin returns as he jogs upstairs and out of sight. Anneith is giving me a judgemental look like I should have jumped on that opportunity in a heartbeat.

“You just like him cause he fed you,” I murmur to my cat, realizing I should get ready, too. Lorcan had mentioned over breakfast that the realtor had messaged him and told him she’d found three potential houses for us to look at, with a few more on the back burner.

I can’t believe we’re doing this, that we’re actually buying a house. Technically, Lorcan is buying a house, but my name would be on it, as well. I honestly figured I’d never be able to say that.

Thirty minutes and one mouth watering glimpse of Lorcan in—gods, help me—just a towel wrapped around his waist later, we were in the car, heading down the mountain. Lorcan had typed the address into the gps on his phone and frowned at what he saw. “It’s pretty much in the city,” he says, a scowl on his face. “Seems nice though. Close to a lot of places we might want to go, but it’s half an hour from Rowan’s. It’s gated though, so there’d be no question of safety, even when I’m on the road.”

I don’t want to think about that last part, so I say, “ I guess it’s nice that it’s in the city, that means I won’t have to walk too far to get anywhere.“

Lorcan’s brow furrows. “What do you mean walk?’

I look over at him. It’s not that he’s oblivious, but I guess he really didn’t put two and two together. I live in a shoebox, make a lot of my own clothes, and ramen noodles are my main source of nutrition. My laugh sounds sad. “I don’t have a car.”

He’s staring at me, when his eyes should be firmly on the road. “How do you not have a car?”

I shrug. “I just told you. I walk everywhere or I take the bus, if I need to get across the city.”

“You’re telling me you walked everywhere? Living in that part of the city?” His eyes finally land back on the road. “We’re fixing that as soon as possible.”

Blinking, I whip my head to face him. “What? Lorcan, I don’t need a car—”

“Yes, you do.” His tone left no room for debate. “My wife sure as shit isn’t going to be walking all over the city.”

I lift a brow and cross my arms. “And if I want to walk all over the city?”

He snorts, eyes sliding back to me. “Gods, you’re stubborn. I’m offering to buy you a damn car.”

He says that like it turns him on. “I’m not stubborn, I just only need the necessities.” 

“You getting places safely instead of walking through the city at night is a necessity to me.”

If I’m stubborn, he’s more so. So I say, “Fine, but if you get me anything flashy, I’ll be causing damage to your balls.”

He mumbles something about me at least being near his balls which makes me shove him in the shoulder, but he catches my hand before I can pull it back to my side of the car.

We hold hands all the way to the house and I like how he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. 

We pull into the gated community and I feel a mix of nerves and awe and something that’s close to being appalled. They’re mansions, there’s no doubting it. I have no idea what we’d need with so much space and I don’t even know which one it is we’ll be walking through. I can feel Lorcan peeking at me to gauge my reaction but I give him nothing. I just keep looking out the window until we pull into a driveway that looks like it’s just been poured.

Perfect landscaping lines the cement and runs up to the house that’s perfect, white, and bigger than my entire apartment building. Flowers that I would surely kill line the front of the house. There are just too many, but they’re beautiful and I suddenly remember my plants back in my apartment. I should stop by and water them.

Lorcan and I get out of the car and head for the front door. It’s cracked and Lorcan opens it wider, letting us in.

It’s…clean. Everything is white. White walls, white floors, white brick comprising the fireplace, white trim around the windows and walls.

It reminds me of a hospital.

“What do you think?”

I nearly jump out of my skin as the realtor appears from nowhere behind us, but I manage not to scream.

“Ansel, hey.” Lorcan reaches out, shaking her hand. “This is my wife, Elide.”

It’s the first time he’s referred to me as his wife and my heart does funny things.

We do the small talk thing for a few minutes. She asks how we met, we avoid the question completely, and finally, conversation returns to the item at hand.

“So,” she begins, clapping her hands together. That, coupled with the bouncy ponytail her red hair is tied up in, reminds me of a cheerleader. She gestures around the house. “I know you haven’t gotten to take a look at the entire house, but what are your first thoughts? It’s got seven bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms, an in-ground pool, and a guest house, complete with a theater.”

She looks from Lorcan to me, her mahogany eyes bright. They both seem to be waiting for me to say something. Always elegantly, I say the only thing I can think of. “Wow.”

They both laugh, and I get the feeling Ansel might be laughing at me.

“Seven bedrooms?” I ask, turning to Lorcan. “What would we even do with all that space?”

He shrugs. “Whatever we wanted. An office, a studio, a room for you to work in, the kids’ rooms—”

“Kids?” My voice comes out in a squeak. “How many kids are we planning to have? Enough to fill seven bedrooms?”

I’ve always planned on becoming a mom, but just how many times does he plan on having me get pregnant?

“Excuse us a minute,” Lorcan says to Ansel, giving her a brilliant smile.

She gives him one of her own. “Take your time, look around, I’ll be right out front if you have any questions.” I can hear her high heels as she heads for the front door.

“We don’t need all this space,” I say, holding my arms up and gesturing to the open living room around us. I know I’ve said it a few times, but my entire apartment would fit in this room alone.

“We don’t have to get a house this big, this is just the first one she’s shown us.” His hands are resting on my shoulders. “And three or four, by the way.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. “What?”

“Kids.” I stop breathing and I can feel his thumbs brush over my skin. “I’ve always imagined having three or four kids.”

I didn’t peg him as the type that wants kids, and having multiples? I must look shocked because I 100% am. Yrene’s words about matching us on the things that matter most come back to me. Yeah, I’ve always wanted multiple kids because I was an only child and being an only child sucks. I longed for siblings when I was young.

“I see,” I say at last, once I feel him staring at me for far too long. His thumbs are still brushing along my skin, giving me comfort. I agree, quietly. “I wouldn’t mind three children.”

“Or four?” He asks, lips quirking up.

“Ask my vagina after the first three,” I mutter. At the mention of my vagina his eyes light up and I snort, shaking my head. “There’s no way I’m raising kids or even Anneith in a house that’s completely white, though.”

“When house hunting it’s important to find what you know you don’t like just as much as it’s important to find what you do like,” he says, and I wonder just how many times he’s gone looking for houses. He seems to know Ansel pretty well.

“I just want it to feel like home,” I say, and I feel vulnerable but I’m unsure why. It’s not just a house, though. This will be our home…for at least six months, anyway.

I tell myself I have to quit thinking that way, that this study may be temporary, but I didn’t sign up for a temporary husband. I signed up for life.

“I thought we were going to look outside of the city,” I remind him.

He gives me a look. “If we move outside the city, you’re definitely getting a car.”

Rolling my eyes, I shove him lightly. “I’ll take the car, you ass. But I don’t want to live in the city anymore, and I don’t want to live in a gated community. I want trees and the stars and a big porch with a swing.” I’m rambling by the end, but I look around. “This place is nice but it’s…cold. Empty. Institutional. It feels more like a museum than a home.”

“Institutional, huh?” He asks. Doing the same and taking the house in. “I can’t argue with that, it reminds me of an office building. Let’s go talk to Ansel, make sure she got my text last night, and knows to look for something in a different direction.”

As soon as we step onto the front steps, Ansel is there. “That was quick! Do you have any questions?”

Lorcan shakes his head. “We don’t like it,” he says, leaving no room for argument. “It’s too big, too contemporary. We want something cozier, more homey. Something closer to the mountains than the city. Somewhere we can raise a family.”

His hand squeezes mine and I’m not sure if he knows he subconsciously did it.

“We’d like to be in the woods,” I add, glad that Lorcan and I agree on this. Living here would be miserable.

“Oh, and we need a porch with a swing,” he advises. “Or a porch big enough for a swing. And a hot tub.” He grabs my hand as Ansel shuffles through her folder of papers.

She raises an eyebrow at his sudden laundry list. “Well, all right then. But this house is in a wonderful location. I really thought it would be perfect for you.”

“It's just not us,” he says. “Let's move on to the next one.”

Us. What is us?

The next house is almost as bad, and I'm starting to feel like this entire day is going to be spent viewing mansion after cold mansion, until we follow Ansel up a long, uphill driveway surrounded by trees. We can't even see the house from the street, but when we finally pull in front of it, my heart leaps.

I can't get out of the car fast enough to see the house up close. It's simply magical, with a big oak and white banister porch off the front of the house, surrounded by lots of flowers all in hues of blue and purple, and a stone birdbath that I'm sure Anneith would love to watch from the living room window. The house itself is sage green with all-white trim, and the view from the porch is amazing. The house is so far up on the hill that we can see the tops of the trees below us and the mountains not too far off. It's breathtaking.

Lorcan laughs as he leans an arm on the roof of the car. “There’s even a swing.”

I nod excitedly as he rounds the front of the car and takes my hand. “Look at this view,” I breathe. “It’s gorgeous.”

“I love how quiet it is, too,” he says as we walk up the porch stairs. “No annoying neighbors or traffic.”

“This house is the smallest on our list,” Ansel says, unlocking the front door. “It only has four bedrooms, but there is a finished basement with a small suite that would be great for a guest or just extra living space.”

As soon as we walk inside, I fall even further in love with its light, earth-tone painted walls, vaulted ceilings, lots of windows and natural light, another porch on the back of the house, and a small balcony off the master bedroom. It's gorgeous but comfy and doesn't scream, Hey, I'm rich and obnoxious like the other houses we looked at did.

We tour the house in silence except for the occasional gasps and quiet laughs between Lorcan and me. It’s absolute perfection.

I don’t hesitate when we’re back on the front porch. “This is the one.”

Lorcan’s looking at me in that way that makes it hard to breathe when he nods. “Agreed.”

Ansel closes up her folder with a big smile. “Okay, then. It's a beautiful home, I agree. The owners are not currently living here. They had it built as a vacation home but rarely had the time to stay, so they are open to you renting it until the close can be completed, which could happen quickly. They’re also including all window and floor treatments and will entertain offers for all of the furniture, except the bedroom sets. If you'd like, we can go back to my office now to draw up all the paperwork and contact their agent. If all goes well, you could be moved in pretty quickly.”

I’m excited. I haven’t been so excited in a long time and for once since the morning of my wedding, I’m not nervous. All I feel is a rush of energy and hope for the future.

Lorcan can feel it too, I know he does as I look at him.

“Sounds great,” Lorcan says, and he pulls me close to him and into his arms as Ansel walks to her car. He kisses my forehead and then I lean up on my toes to capture his lips with mine. When he pulls back, his next words make my excitement grow. “Welcome home.”

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 14}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >>@snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Cassian was up far before Nesta, but that was to be expected.

He had worn her out, after all.

In all honesty, though, she had worn him out, too. And he sure as hell wasn’t complaining.

It had taken him a while to fall asleep the night before, to fully digest everything that had happened between the two of them. He didn’t regret it, not for a second, but it was…strange. Nesta Archeron was the last woman he thought he’d find himself in such a situation with.

It had been a pleasant surprise, to say the least. Even when he had finally fallen asleep, it was all he dreamt about.

His hands on her body.

The little sounds that fell from her lips.

The feeling of his mouth against hers.

The feeling of being inside of her.

Dressing, he crept downstairs, not wanting to wake her, and made a pot of coffee. Sitting at the kitchen table, he ran a hand through his messy hair.

Cassian had no idea what was going to come this morning. Was she going to pretend it never happened? Was she going to be mad or say that it was a mistake?

He sure as hell hadn’t thought it was a mistake. He’d loved every minute of the night they’d shared, but he knew that a line had been crossed between them.

He was going to let her decide what would come next.

It wasn’t two minutes after Cassian pulled a pan of crispy bacon out of the oven, he heard a door open at the top of the stairs. He smirked, but felt a sense of dread as footsteps slowly descended towards the kitchen.

Nesta appeared, dressed in long-sleeved flannel pajamas. She stopped in the doorway and cleared her throat.

“I made breakfast,” Cassian said, gesturing to the display on the countertop.

“Thanks,” Nesta said, scratching the back of her head.

“Care to join me at the table?” he asked.

Nesta hesitated, then nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”

Cassian said nothing more as he made her a plate, then himself one, and carried them to the table. He was already popping a piece of bacon into his mouth when Nesta sat.

“So,” Cassian began. “How are you?”

“Good,” Nesta answered, a little too quickly. “You?”

“Good,” Cassian said, nodding.

Silence ensued.

They ate quietly. Cassian glanced at Nesta from time to time. Nesta did the same. Eventually, Cassian dropped his fork on his plate and ran a hand through his hair.

“Alright, this is ridiculous,” he said.

Nesta raised a brow. “What is?”

“This awkwardness,” Cassian said, laughing quietly. “I mean, we fucked, right?”

Nesta nearly choked on a piece of bacon. “We….”

“Had sex,” Cassian finished. “We did, and you know what? It was good. But when we went to bed, it was awkward. And this morning? Still awkward. Why is it awkward?”

“Because we had drunk sex,” she said, laughing, despite herself. “We got drunk and we hooked up, like horny teenagers and…” She shook her head, and looked up at him. And she burst out laughing.

“And we’re adults,” he said, laughing along with her. “We made that choice. I liked that choice. I’d make that choice again.”

Nesta’s laughter quieted. “I know. I don’t either, but…”

Cassian took a drink of his coffee, smirking. “Was it not the best sex of your life?”

Nesta began blushing, and she bit her lip as she moved the eggs around her plate. “I plead the fifth.”

“That’s a cop-out answer,” Cassian said, his mouth full.

Nesta laughed. “So what?”

Cassian’s grin said plenty. “Fair enough. I mean, it was a one time thing, right?”

“Right,” Nesta said, without any hesitation. “So, there’s no need to feel awkward, right?”

“Right,” Cassian agreed. “We were letting off some steam, some stress, and now we’re fine.”

“Exactly,” Nesta said, scooping up a mouthful of eggs.

That silence resumed.

A few minutes later, Nesta said, “It was pretty good, though.”

Cassian chuckled. “Oh, I know.”

She kicked his shin beneath the table.

His grin widened.

“What do you have going on today?” Cassian asked, at last.

“Work,” Nesta answered, simply. “You’ll pick Nyx up?”

“I will,” he promised.

“Great,” she said, taking a drink of her coffee. She glanced at the clock and jumped to her feet. “Shit, I need to go get ready.”

“Go,” he chuckled, shooing her off. “I’ll handle the kitchen.”

She glanced around at the room, which was still a wreck from the night before. Her bikini top was looped over one of the drawer pulls and she blushed.

She couldn’t believe it.

She had sex with Cassian, her sworn enemy for years.

And the most surprising thing of all? She had liked it.

A lot.

He hadn’t been lying when he said it would be the best sex of her life. There was no comparison, whatsoever.

Even waking up after a fantastic night of sleep, Nesta still felt amazing. She was relaxed, albeit a bit sore. Nearly giddy.

And all because of Cassian.

*

Since the accident, Nesta hadn’t spent nearly as much time at the restaurant as she usually did. And not nearly as often as she liked. Her staff had absolutely understood that she needed to get accustomed to her new life and how things worked, but as she hurried between the dining room and the kitchen, she couldn’t help but feel like she was in a bit over her head.

Granted, her mind kept trailing back to the activities she’d had the night before, which flustered her to no end every time she thought about them. She was staring at an open laptop in front of her, the PDF of the new menu staring back, when she heard a throat clearing from the doorway of her office.

She glanced up and found Helion standing there. He was her general manager and made sure everything ran smoothly when she wasn’t there, and he was a blessing in her life.

“What’s up?”

He looked around before slipping into the chair across the desk from her. “You going to tell me what’s got you spacing out so badly today that you mixed fresh salmon into the chicken salad base?”

Nesta cringed, but tried not to show it. “I wanted to try a new recipe. If it bombs, it bombs.”

Helion lifted a brow, not believing her lie for a second.

“What?” Nesta asked.

“Did the walk of shame this morning, did you?” He asked, a familiar mischievous glint in his eye.

Nesta hesitated. “Is it still a walk of shame if you never leave your house?”

Helion’s brows furrowed but then the dots connected. His mouth fell open as his eyes widened. “You fucked the hot uncle?”

Nesta groaned, her face falling into her hands.

Helion had no sympathy. He asked, “Is he the one that’s sitting at the bar asking for you?”

Nesta’s hands fell and she met Helion’s eye.

Helion shrugged. “Didn’t think I just came back here to chat, did you?”

“I…” Nesta was up before she could even think through what she might say to him, rounding her desk and hurrying towards the front of the restaurant.

She wasn’t sure if Cassian’s mid-day appearance was a good thing or not. On one hand, he may have stopped by with Nyx after picking him up from Elain’s. On the other, what if something was wrong? What if Nyx had had a bad night or something had happened? Her steps slowed and she paused before she left the kitchens, taking a deep breath.

Nothing was wrong. She wouldn’t accept any other answer. Tucking her loose hair behind an ear, she pushed through the door.

But she didn’t find Cassian sitting at the bar.

It was Balthazar, whose brown eyes she met and her smile faltered, but only a little. She had it back in place before he had time to notice.

“Figured out how I recognized you,” he said, as she approached from the other side of the bar.

“I see that,” she laughed, softly.

“Turns out I come here often,” he continued, his smile growing. “Turns out, so do you.”

“I would say I make an appearance here from time to time,” she agreed. “So, stop in for lunch?”

“I had the day off,” he explained, shrugging. “Errand day.”

She was just now noticing the designer sweatpants and hoodie he wore. His sneakers alone probably cost a couple hundred dollars.

Apparently the rumors were true…

Doctors made good money.

“And this was on your list?” Nesta asked.

Bal chuckled. “Well, last night I got to thinking that I’ve seen you here once or twice. It just clicked. So, I googled the restaurant, and, believe it or not, the owner’s picture is on the website.”

“Huh,” Nesta chimed. “Funny.”

“Mhmm,” Balthazar crooned. “I thought so. So, I thought I’d come visit and, yeah, maybe stay for lunch.”

“Well, lucky for you, the lunch special of the day is the prime dip, and I must say that it’s absolutely delicious,” Nesta said.

He closed the menu on the bar top in front of him. “Sounds perfect.”

“Give me just a minute to get that for you, and I’ll be right back. Can I get you something to drink?” She asked, sliding the menu below the bar.

“Drink drink or just to drink?” He asked and his smile did strange things to her stomach.

“Oh, I don’t have a liquor license,” she said, scrunching her nose. Too many hoops to jump through, but she would have loved to serve wine with her food. The pairings she would come up with were tempting. “Water, your everyday sodas, and homemade fruit teas.”

“Fruit tea, huh?” He tapped a contemplative finger against his chin.

She couldn’t have stopped the grin if she tried. “Has that piqued your interest?”

“Depends on what flavors you have,” he said, folding his arms across the bar. “I’m very choosy about my fruit tea.”

She laughed, quietly. “Mango, raspberry, strawberry, and passion fruit.”

“Passion fruit,” he repeated. “I like the sound of that.”

“Okay,” Nesta said, quietly with a little smile she couldn’t stop, and hurried back to the kitchen.

Helion was waiting for her behind the swinging door, grinning from ear to ear.

“Not him,” Nesta said, sweeping past him.

“Still handsome!” Helion called after her.

Nesta ignored him, not wanting to give him too much information on her current man-drama, even though she could tell he was far too invested in her private life.

After putting his order in, Nesta was heading back into her office and shutting herself inside, if only to shut out Helion.

When she had rounded the corner and saw it wasn’t Cassian, there was the tiniest bit of disappointment that she had to quickly push away. Then again, it also meant that everything had apparently gone okay with Nyx, which Nesta was happy about.

She and Cassian had been a one time thing.

Yes, they had called a truce, but it didn’t mean anything more than them being civil with one another. It meant co-parenting. Maybe even one day becoming something that resembled friends…but nothing more.

She tried to focus on the proof of the menu she was editing, tried to pay attention to the descriptions she typed out and the pictures she selected as focal points. But after she ended up choosing the wrong picture three times in a row, she closed her laptop and sighed, letting her face fall into her hands. She was distracted and she genuinely couldn’t tell if it was due to the man sitting out at the bar or if it was thanks to the one at home.

Balthazar’s order was up, and Nesta was delighted to find that someone, most likely Helion, had brought him his tea. When she set his plate down in front of him, his tongue swept across his bottom lip, and Nesta couldn’t help but notice.

“This looks amazing,” he said.

“And your tea?” Nesta asked.

“Pretty good,” he grinned.

Damn his smile. Every time he smiled, Nesta couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well, it was great seeing you,” Nesta said, and she meant it. “I should get back to work, though, I’m pretty booked.”

“Of course,” he said, understandingly. “I get it. I did want to ask you, though, if you were free on Saturday night?”

It was only a few nights away, and at first, Nesta hesitated, but then she thought it was ridiculous that she was hesitating, so she said, “Yeah, I’m free.”

“Good,” Bal said, cocking his head to the side. “How about that date, then?”

“I’ll have to check with Cassian,” she said, and when his eyebrows raised, she added hastily, “To make sure he doesn’t already have plans. It’s- We alternate who gets weekends off, and I made a deal with him last weekend.”

Balthazar nodded, and he took another sip of his tea. “Well, then you just let me know if Saturday will work and if not, we’ll figure out another day.”

She smiled and nodded. “Okay.” Nesta turned and was almost back to the door leading to the kitchen when she turned and said, “Lunch is on me today, by the way.”

His own smile was dazzling when he said, “My compliments to the chef.”

With a shy wave, though Nesta wasn’t sure she had a timid bone in her body, she was through the door and headed back to her office. Helion was on her heels a second later, trailing her through the doorway.

“One minute, you’re banging the hot uncle and the next, a Greek god asks you out on a date?” He said, his brows flicking up. “You apparently have fate on speed dial and I need you to give me her number.”

“Shut up,” she groaned, collapsing into her chair. “Don’t you have orders to help cook?”

He hummed quietly as he left her to her thoughts, but did as she said, finding his way back onto the grill line.

Nesta glanced over at the clock. Only two in the afternoon. It was going to be a long day.

*

Nyx blew a raspberry, landing a spray of sweet potato directly on Cassian’s face. His body stilled, but when Nyx started giggling, Cassian’s body quickly relaxed.

“Very funny,” he said, ruffling Nyx’s hair as he stood and went to the sink. After tearing a paper-towel off the roll, he held it under the faucet and wiped off his face.

The front door opened and closed.

“Hello?” Nesta called.

“Kitchen!” Cassian replied. “Nyx is making a mess!”

Nesta was in the kitchen in no time, hurrying to Nyx and kissing his chubby cheeks. “Hi, my love. I missed you. Yes, I did.”

Nyx babbled incoherently in response.

“How was your day?” Cassian asked, wiping off the last bit of potato from his eyebrow.

“Long,” she admitted. “Right before I was about to leave, a shipment of fresh ingredients came in that I needed to get stocked and inventoried.” She dumped a few of the strawberry-banana puffs into her hand and popped one of them into her mouth. “If I have to count another head of lettuce today, my head might explode.”

“Well, fortunately,” Cassian chuckled. “There are no heads of lettuce here for you to count.”

“Have you eaten yet?” She asked, heading for the fridge. “I’m starving.”

“There’s pizza on the way,” he said, attempting to get another spoonful of sweet potatoes into Nyx’s mouth. “I wasn’t sure when you’d be home, or if you’d feel like cooking.”

“You’re a blessing,” she sighed, and sat down at the kitchen table. She watched as Nyx continued to spray food into his face and chuckled quietly. “You want me to take over?”

“Nah,” he said, leaving the splattered sweet potato where it stuck to his face. “No need for both of us to get covered.”

“How gallant of you,” Nesta chuckled, opening the fridge and pulling out a can of Coca-Cola. She rarely did caffeine, but after the day she had, it was necessary. “I, um, did have a question for you.”

Cassian looked over his shoulder, brow raised.

Nesta couldn’t help but smile at the specks of sweet potato that covered his face.

“I was wondering if I could go out Saturday night,” Nesta said. “I mean, I know last weekend I went out, and I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness-.”

“With the doctor?” Cassian interrupted. His tone wasn’t hard, but it did seem uncertain, or another emotion that Nesta couldn’t quite place.

“Yeah,” Nesta began, cracking open her can. “He came by the restaurant today and asked me to dinner on Saturday night. I told him I’d have to talk to you about it first, since I said I’d have Nyx.”

“I see,” Cassian said, turning back to Nyx.

“If it’s an issue, if you have plans, I don’t mind telling him no-.”

“You should go,” Cassian said, shrugging. “I have no plans. I can stay here.”

She blinked, watching him. “You’re sure?”

“You sound like you don’t want me to be sure,” he said, glancing at her over his shoulder. “Are you looking for a reason to say no?”

“No,” she replied, quickly. “It’s just… After last night-.”

“We hooked up,” he shrugged. “We blew off some steam, in a very physical way. But that was that, and, like we said this morning, it was a one time thing, yeah?” She nodded. “Alright, then if you want to say yes, say yes. I can watch Nyx.”

She hesitated for a second, but her smile grew. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, and gave her a smile of his own. “Go relax for a bit, I’ll let you know when the pizza is here.”

She nodded and was about to head up the stairs, but she turned around, wiping the smeared baby food off his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Cass.”

He mumbled something and waved her off, and she grabbed her phone from her purse before she hurried up to her room.

After changing out of her work clothes and into something far more comfier, she fell back on her bed and unlocked her phone.

Balthazar’s messages were soon pulled up, and Nesta was sending him a text.

Saturday sounds great. Pick me up at 7?

She didn’t wait for his response before tossing her phone aside and going through her nightly routine. She figured she would eat and call it a day.

She was beat.

After washing her face and pulling up her hair, Nesta walked back into her room just as her phone lit up on top of her comforter.

Balthazar.

I won’t be a second late.

[snelbz]

'Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Ten}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide -

I wake up the next morning unable to remember at what point I finally fell asleep.

When I came out of the bathroom the night before, after a shower and a fresh change of comfortable clothes, Lorcan was already on the couch scrolling through his phone. We said our goodnights and then I went into the bedroom and shut the door before crawling onto the California king size bed and falling asleep. It was, without a doubt, the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on and getting up was a chore in itself. 

We had a nice moment together the night before, Lorcan and I. During that moment, when we came to an understanding about our situation, there was a moment when I felt that our setup wasn’t mistake at all.

That feeling nearly disappears when I walk out of the bedroom and find that the suite is empty. 

His bag remains just next to the couch that he had slept on, but everything else is gone: wallet, phone, keys, cigarettes. Nothing remains on the countertop that he had tossed there the night before, all of his necessities. 

With a frown, I try to remain positive. Then, I feel ridiculous, because I don’t even have my husband’s phone number to text him and see where he’s at. 

Maybe he’s at breakfast or went down the street to pick something up instead of settling for the continental breakfast. With that in mind, he should be back soon. I decide to take a shower, taking one much longer than I would in my own apartment. I let the hot water soothe my muscles and only get out when it turns lukewarm. Smelling like lavender and vanilla, I get out and wipe off the steamy mirror before peeking my head out of the bathroom door.

“Lorcan?”

Nothing.

I’ve been awake for an hour and he’s still not back. My anxieties start to become more concrete as I finish drying off and get dressed. With the bathroom door open, I apply my makeup and brush and dry my hair. 

He still hasn’t returned as I decide to give my straight, dark locks a curl. I curl each section of my hair with tender care, taking far more time than I usually would, and look in the mirror when I’m done. I look hot.

Too bad my husband still isn’t here to see it.

I can’t control my worries any more. Tears sting my eyes but I don’t let them fall. He bailed. I know he did. Even after the moment we shared together last night, he still decided that this marriage wasn’t worth it. 

Stupid. I feel so incredibly stupid.

Sure, he left his bag, but he’s a millionaire, I have no doubt. He can replace anything in an instant. He took what was important and left what could be replaced. Including me.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see that it’s nearly eleven, which everyone knows is check out time. I doubt the hotel would kick a couple out of the honeymoon suite the morning after their wedding, but just in case, I don’t want to be caught looking as pathetic as I feel. I pack everything back up into my bag, making everything fit.

Save for one thing. And damn it, that’s what makes the tears finally spill over.

I look at where my wedding dress lays draped across the chair in the corner. I’d laid it out to keep it wrinkle free and in the best shape possible. Now I’m going to have to bundle it up and stuff it under my arm.

Oh, well. That’s what portable steamers are for. Even if it’s going to take me hours to bring it back to life. It wasn’t like he even cared about it, not more than getting it off of me. 

I sling my bag over my shoulder, and ball the dress up, taking one last look around the room. It’s beautiful, even now, and I hate that they had to waste it on us.

Sighing, I head for the door. I’ll call Aelin from the lobby. I want to get out of this room and out of—

The electronic lock whirs and clicks as it disengages and the door swings open.

Lorcan walks in, a white cup with green print in each hand, door falling shut behind him. His hair is pulled back into a bun at the back of his head, leaving his handsome face on full display.

Have I mentioned how unfair it is that he looks like that?

He’s dressed similarly to the way he was when I first met him, a tank top and running shorts.

And he’s wearing tennis shoes.

He looks down at my dress in my arms and my bag over my shoulder, before his eyes rise to meet mine. “What’s up?”

It takes me a second to find my voice. “I thought you left.”

His jaw ticks. “So you were just going to leave?”

“I thought you were already gone!” I say again, dropping my bag and dress to the floor. “Your stuff was gone.”

He brushes past me and sets the cups down on the table. He points to his duffle on the floor. “My bag is literally right there.”

“I meant your phone and wallet and cigarettes. The stuff that matters.”

He closes the distance between us and tilts my face up towards his. “Are you crying?”

I try to turn my head, but he grips my chin. I don’t need to answer. The evidence is still shining on my face.

Cupping my face, he asks, “Why?”

I bite my lip to keep my voice from wavering. “I thought you left me already.”

His thumb slowly traces my jaw. “I’m still here. I didn’t leave and I don’t plan to.”

I nod, keeping my eyes on his.

Lorcan’s dark eyes lower, settling on my lips, before meeting my gaze again. He leans down, kissing me softly.

I let him.

He pulls away, but not far. Just enough to say, “I went down to the gym to work out and then ran down the road to get us coffee.” He kisses me again. “I texted Rowan and had him ask Aelin what you usually order.”

At that, I pull back. “Really?”

He picks up one of the cups and holds it out for me. “London Fog? I think?”

The unease in his voice is…adorable.

I take the cup and pop the lid off, closing my eyes and inhaling the heady aroma of earl grey tea and a hint of sweet vanilla.

Smiling, I look up at him. “Thank you.”

He nods, a breath of relief leaving him. “You’re welcome.” He looks back to my bag and my dress on the floor and frowns. “I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean to. You were sleeping so peacefully… I didn’t want to wake you, but I work out almost every single morning.”

“It’s okay,” I say, watching as he sits on the couch and takes off his tennis shoes. “I’m usually one to think of the worst. It’s a bad quality.”

He chuckles. “I think it’s a human quality.”

I take a drink of my tea and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Again. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.” I nod towards his cup. “What did you get?”

He hesitates. “Caramel mocha,” he mumbles. “Extra whip cream. Don’t judge.” 

I laugh. I can’t help it. Most of me expected him to tell me he ordered plain coffee, black. “No judgment. Sounds delicious.”

He grins in confirmation, though his eyes narrow on me as he takes a drink. “So, I double checked with the front desk. Our check out is at noon. My roommates are home, so I thought we’d go by my place first. They’re not…so bad.” I raise a brow at his hesitation. He chuckles and picks up the list of guidelines the team left us. “They’re assholes, but harmless. The rules say we have to see where each other lives before we choose where we want to live.”

I nod, that anxiety coming back. The last thing I want is for him to see where I live, but I know it’s part of the rules. We looked over them last night. “As long as I can finish my tea first.” 

“I would never come in between a woman and her tea,” he says, and then he’s pulling a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of his bag. “Give me a few minutes to clean up then we’ll go?”

I nod, taking the time to carefully fold my dress while he takes the world’s fastest shower and is ready to go in mere minutes. He comes out, tossing his sweaty clothes into his bag and scoops it up, along with mine. “Ready to go.”

When we get to the lobby, he pulls a valet ticket out of his wallet and gives it to the attendant. As we wait for him to pull up, Lorcan turns to face me.

“I didn’t mention it earlier, what with you trying to leave me and everything—”

I shove him, but it’s about as effective as shoving a brick wall. “I told you, I wasn’t trying to leave you.”

My laughter carries through the parking area.

“It’s a good thing I showed up when I did.” He smiles down at me and clears his throat. “What I was trying to say—”

He’s interrupted, yet again, this time by the valet pulling up in a massive, black truck, the biggest I’ve ever seen. The man has to literally drop out of the cab and as he rounds the front of the truck and hands the keys to Lorcan, my eyes go wide.

I’ve heard of boys and their toys, but this is a little ridiculous.

I also notice him slip a hundred dollar bill to the attendant and I try not to gape. That was…unexpected.

He opens the door for me and I look from the ground to the inside of the truck and then at him. “Lorcan. I can’t get in that thing. I can’t even get my leg up there.”

“Huh,” he says, as if he’s just noticed. “I guess you’re right. I’ll have to help you in.”

My eyes narrow as he approaches me, but before I can say anything, his hands are around my waist and he’s lifting me up onto the seat.

He winks at me, and just before he shuts the door he says, “I’ll get some steps put in on your side so you can get in and out on your own.”

He rounds the front, opening the door and effortlessly swinging himself into the truck. After turning the key, the rumble of the engine just as loud as expected, he pulls out of the lot and onto the main road.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” I say, quietly.

“Do what?” He glances over at me, but keeps his eyes on the road.

“Alter your truck for me.” I’m staring at my hands, grateful he can’t look over at me for more than a second.

He doesn’t respond, and at first I think that’s that and we’re moving on. But then we pull up to a red light and he looks over at me. “Don’t do that.”

I blink. “Do what?”

“Treat yourself like you’re a burden.”

The light changes before I can reply and we fall into a comfortable silence as we drive.

The team gave us a guideline sheet we're supposed to follow, and the first order of business is to move in together, whether we move in to one of our own homes together, or get an entirely new place to live. My apartment is the size of a shoebox, on top of being in a sketchy part of town. He has roommates. Neither seem like very viable options to me.

But rules are rules and Lorcan says he has a vehicle that even I can get into on my own at his house, so his place is our first stop.

We pull up to his condo and I’m baffled, even though I shouldn’t be. It’s one of the grandest buildings in the city, but he doesn’t seem to notice my shock as he parks and we walk into the lobby. The elevator has golden interior and while I’m questioning if it’s real, Lorcan presses the button to the top floor. 

“You okay?” He asks. I nod, but I’m sure he knows I’m lying. I feel a ridiculous amount of nerves as the elevator lifts us up. We ride the rest of the way in silence until we get to his floor and it’s not until we stop in front of his door that he turns to look at me.

He rubs the back of his neck and the gesture is adorable.

“My roommates…” he trails off and shakes his head. “They’re nice guys. Really. But, if you think I’m vulgar you haven’t heard anything yet. I apologize for anything that comes out of their mouths.”

I laugh quietly. “And how is it you know them?”

“They’re in the Cadre,” he confesses. “Fenrys and Connall. Brothers. Fenrys has the bigger mouth. Sorry for anything you hear or see.” And with that, he’s opening the door.

The condo is quiet.

But massive.

I notice a spiral staircase in the corner, letting me know that it’s multiple stories. I can’t imagine what the rent is like for this place. My entire apartment would fit in the kitchen alone.

Lorcan takes my hand and I wrap my fingers around his. I like the way his hand feels in mine. I don’t feel as jumpy when I know he’s there. He grounds me.

He shows me the living room and the kitchen, both which are empty, and down the hall to a cinema room. It’s set up like a tiny theater but no one is in it. Across from it is an in-home gym.

“You have a gym in here but prefer to go to the gym with Rowan?” I ask, unable to put any of my other thoughts into words.

He shrugs. “Depends what day it is.”

We continue our tour until we’re walking up the stairs and up to the second floor. The bedrooms are here, I assume, and so is a large gaming room where two similar looking males are sitting on a giant couch, playing Call of Duty. They must be twins. 

Thinking past the haze in my mind, I remember them from the wedding.

While their faces are nearly identical matches, they’re opposites in almost every other way. One light, one dark. One in a tank top and board shorts, the other a long-sleeved henley and jeans. The dark twin, he looks put together, despite his long hair. It’s clean and shiny and looks like he actually put effort into his appearance. The blonde one, however, his hair is loose and wavy, messy in an I just woke up and rolled out of bed look.

I turn to my husband, who has a balanced look of the two. He may not be as neat as the man before me swearing at his brother, but I also get the feeling the brutal ruggedness about him wouldn’t be as appealing if he were. Thankfully, it looks like he at least regularly combs his hair.

“If it isn’t the newlyweds,” the blonde one says, noticing us first. “Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon?”

I tense, but Lorcan’s thumb brushes back and forth over the back of my hand. “Decided to take some time to get to know each other first.”

The one with dark hair nods, as if he thinks we’re making the smart move. “What a small world. You two could have met any time in the past couple years and would have had no idea you were talking to your future spouse.”

I don’t mention that we did in fact meet just over a month ago, and let me just say, I had absolutely no idea I was talking to my future spouse.

Not that I even said much to him.

All I did was judge him by his appearance and his occupation. Now, I’m seeing that I should probably get to know him first.

“Maybe that means it was meant to be,” Lorcan says and winks at me. I chuckle. “Fenrys and Connall.” He points from one to the other. “Brothers, although one’s a bigger pain in the ass.”

Fenrys grins. “Nice to officially meet you. You made a beautiful bride.”

I’m nearly shocked by his compliment. Although, I feel he’s a man that compliments a woman often. 

“Is this the part where you’re trying to figure out where to live?” Connall asks. When Lorcan says yes, he says, “No offense, and of course you’re welcome here, but do you really want to live with three guys in a bachelor pad?”

I laugh as I look around the room. The entire apartment is clean and decently neat, but it’s clear that there has never been a woman’s touch. Just a weekly maid’s. “Honestly? Not particularly.” I look to Lorcan, who is laughing quietly. “But, the rules say we have to see where each other lives.”

“So you’ll be living at your place?” Fenrys asks, and I don’t answer. Thankfully he doesn’t give me much time to do so. “Sad day, Lorcan moving out on us.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure Elide prefers to live in a place that at least looks like it's not the inside of a typical man’s brain come to life,” Lorcan mutters, reading my mind. 

“Seriously, it looks like a woman has never stepped foot in here until now,” I joke.

But my laughter dies as Fenrys says, “Hasn’t been that long, has it, Lor?”

It’s a joke. I know it’s a joke, but I sense the underlying meaning, sense there’s something he was hinting at. 

Connall smacks Fenrys in the back of the head as Lorcan turns to me. “Don’t listen to him—”

“What does he mean by that?” I ask, voice quiet.

“Nothing,” Lorcan says, and glares in Fenrys’ direction. At least he has the mind to give me an apologetic look. “He talks without thinking.”

“Lorcan.” My voice leaves no room for discussion. “Please don’t bullshit me.”

With set lips, Lorcan gives one more look to the brothers before pulling me out of the room.

He drops my hand and rubs his jaw. I don’t know what he’s going to say but I hate the waiting. He goes with, “I’m not a virgin, Elide.”

I’m fully aware of that fact but he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, like it explains everything. “But it hasn’t been very long since the last time you’ve been with someone, apparently.” I gesture to the closed door that we just came out of. “So how long has it been?” 

At first he doesn’t answer and I shake my head, taking a step back.

He frowns. “Elide—”

“Had you been accepted into the program?” I ask, and when he flinches I know my answer.

“About six weeks ago—” he begins, but I’m already turned around, trying to find my way out of the damn place. 

In any other situation, I probably would have busted my ass on the spiral stairs, especially considering my pace and the thundering steps behind me. But I don’t. Instead, I hit the main floor, aiming for the door. I don’t take two steps before his hand wraps around my wrist. “Elide, please, just—”

“Please what?” I ask, turning on him. His eyes are guarded, as if he was expecting my reaction.

He knew I’d be angry, and rightly so. It’s been over six months since our applications went in for this. He knew he would be getting married, knew he was technically engaged, but still.

Shaking my head, I pull my arm from his grip. I can’t believe he slept with someone just weeks ago, when he knew we were going to get married. Part of the deal was that we were supposed to stop dating, relationships, and having sex with others when we found out we had our match and set our wedding date. That was over three months ago.

He still hasn’t answered, so I say, “You knew about me then. You already knew our wedding date. It’s not like they sprung this on you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you. I just knew the wedding was going to happen.”

I laugh, the sound humorless. “And that wasn’t enough?”

“I don't know, I didn't even think about it in that way. I was just doing my usual shit.” he says, and I can tell he wants to reach out again. I step back so he won’t. “Look, I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. It was just sex with some groupies. It didn't mean anything. It never means anything.”

Scoffing, I cross my arms. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

He crosses the room and drops onto the couch. “Fuck, no, of course, it isn’t.” Dragging a hand through his loose, messy hair, he looks up at me. “I just didn’t want you to think I had some girlfriend on the side or something.”

I start pacing before I can stop myself and I can feel his gaze on me the whole time. I don’t want to think about this. I don’t want to think about my new husband having sex with random women, while we were supposed to be thinking about getting married and committing to each other in every way. I was so excited when I found out they had my match picked and I was technically considered engaged. All I could think about was finally meeting him. I dreamed of what he’d look like, who he was, how he’d act, who we’d be together. I dreamed he was wondering the same about me.

Meanwhile, he was screwing groupies with no thought or care about me at all.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, quieter this time, and I turn to look at him. “I messed up, Elide, and I know that, but I won’t do it again, I promise.”

There’s that humorless laugh again. I sound insane. “You won’t fuck a random groupie or you won’t mess up?”

His eyes narrow on me slightly, but he says, “Both. I’m done fucking groupies and I’m going to do my best not to mess up anymore.”

I release a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, my rage deflating. It’s in the past and there’s nothing that can be done about it now.

Except for one thing.

“What about the tests? Are you still clean?”

One of the more invasive things we’d had to do was a full scale test to ensure no one in the program had any sort of STD they could pass on to their partner. But those were done right after our wedding date was set. He still was having sex weeks after that.

“I’m clean,” Lorcan promises, not getting angry like I expected him to, since I was practically accusing him of having a venereal disease. “I always wear protection and was tested two weeks ago.”

I nod, my anger simmering, but nothing like it was. It’s probably safe for me to sit next to him without strangling him, so I cross the room and sit on the couch next to him. “Does Yrene know?” His brows knit together in confusion and I realize not everyone calls her by her first name apparently. I add, “Dr. Towers.”

He shakes his head quickly. “I definitely didn’t tell her.”

Snorting, I look back up the spiral staircase. “She probably would have kicked you out of the study if she found out.”

“Yeah, and I’d…like to keep that from happening,” he says, drawing my gaze back to his.

My jaw is set. “Fine. I won’t say anything, as long as you don’t fuck anymore groupies.”

Those dark eyes are trained on me, but he says nothing for a second before asking, “Are you jealous?”

I blink. “What?”

He leans in, just a bit. “I get that you’re pissed, and that’s fair. But are you jealous?”

Tripping over my words, I pray that my cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “No.”

I’ve seen his body. It’s…magnificent. And I know the reputation he has. I can only imagine that he knows what he’s doing.

The thought has heat pooling in my core.

There’s just enough hesitation that his grin grows. “How long has it been for you?”

“Since what?”

He leans in a little more. “Since you had sex with someone.”

And now I’m sure my cheeks are just as red as I think they are. “That’s none of your business, but I can assure you, it’s a lot longer than six weeks ago. I followed the rules.”

“Good for you,” he murmurs, and I can feel his breath on my lips. “Now tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me,” he repeats and I feel his hands on my side. “Or I’ll tickle you.”

I swat his hands away, although I can scarcely breathe with him so close. My voice is a whisper when I say, “No and don’t you dare.”

He dared.

His fingers attack my ribs and I erupt into a fit of giggles that overpowers my anger as my head falls back and my back arches. “Stop it!”

He does not and when I meet his eye, he’s grinning. I try to scoot back but I can barely move. I’m ticklish. I know as much. Now, so does he. He keeps tickling me and I’m unable to stop my laughter. 

“Fine!” I yell, and I’m smiling so wide that my face hurts. His fingers halt and he looks at me with raised brows. “It’s been…a while.”

He blinks. “Yeah, I’ve collected that. Doesn’t tell me how long.”

And then he’s tickling me again and my laughter and yelling and squirming resumes. Next thing I know, I’ve fallen back against the couch and he comes with me. His fingers still dance along my sides as he gets on his knees between my spread legs. As if he realizes the same time I do, his fingers come to a stop.

We’re both breathing heavily and grinning like fools, although there’s a glint in his eye now that wasn’t there before. My cheeks are flushed and the strap of my tank top is hanging off my shoulder.

He doesn’t move.

Neither do I.

Instead, his hands fall from my sides to the couch cushions on both sides of me. He hovers there on all fours and his eyes fall from mine to my lips then back again.

“You know, I can fix that for you,” he says, and his voice is dangerously low. “When you’re ready. You deserve to have someone make you feel good.”

My toes curl and I forget how to breathe.

As if he needs to prove it, he lets me have a little of his weight, pressing me into the couch. His hips nestle between my parted thighs and I can feel his cock pressed up against me.

“I thought I wasn’t what you wanted.” My voice is breathy, betraying the fact that he’s affecting me in all the wrong ways, though he’d probably say they’re the right ways.

“I thought so, too.” His voice is low, so deep it’s almost just a rumble in his chest. I feel it in my core and fight off the urge to shudder. He brushes a thumb over my lips and then begins to trail a hand down my body, over my ribs and hips until he’s gripping one of my thighs. He pulls me into him at the same time he leans down into me. “But my body apparently wants you…and I think yours wants me too.”

A little gasp escapes me as I breathe, “I want more than that.”

He leans down, brushing his lips against mine in a whisper of a kiss. “I know you do.”

He rocks his hard cock against me and I’m unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from my lips. He does it a second time and then a third, and then kisses me.

Not a kiss like we shared this morning or a soft brush of the lips.

Lorcan kisses me like a man kisses his wife.

It’s over nearly as quickly as it started, though, and he’s pulling away. “I told you I’d respect your decision, and I will. But I won’t quit trying. Just tell me when to stop and I will, no questions asked.”

I blink, my mind hazy and lust addled. “Wait. You’re going to respect my decision to wait to have sex with you, by trying to have sex with me?”

Tendrils of his hair have fallen loose of his bun and are framing his face. It should honestly be illegal to be this handsome, it’s not fair.

“I’m not going to have sex with you until you explicitly tell me that’s what you want,” he says, leaning in. I can smell his cinnamon toothpaste. “But you can’t tell me you didn’t like what we just did, that you don’t want me to do it again.

I stay quiet, because he’s right, I can’t and I won’t lie.

He grins, knowing the thoughts that are running through my mind.

“Kiss me,” I beg, and he does.

He kisses me in that way again that has me questioning my very existence. His body falls into mine and I can feel the long, thick length of him against my thigh. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have him inside of me. Would I even survive that? He’s so much bigger than I am, I should have known that his cock is massive, too. The thought has my mind reeling and a throbbing forming between my legs that I don’t think I’ll recover from.

His tongue slides against mine and I moan quietly, causing his arm to tighten around my waist.

Kissing him is easy.

If only fucking him was just as easy. The empty ache of my sex grows frustrating and I grind against him for any sort of satisfaction. It must please him, because he groans into my mouth.

Then my thoughts get the better of me.

Six weeks. He was with someone else six weeks ago.

It may have meant nothing, but I can’t just give myself to this man because we signed our marriage certificate. No, he has to earn me. I’ve saved myself since Ren and I wont give my body away over simple lust.

Even though I want him.

Even though the thought of his cock deep inside me will most likely keep me up tonight.

I break the kiss and he looks at me, wild eyed and breathing fast. I can still feel him against my thigh and it’s so damn distracting. I’m tempted to reach out and touch it but I don’t, I refrain, even though it goes against every ounce of my being. 

“Stop?” He asks, chest heaving.

Gods, this man.

I nod, not trusting my voice, and without another word, he’s pushing himself off of the couch and offering me a hand up as well. He adjusts himself in his pants and, by the mother, I can see it through his jeans. It’s one thing to feel it, it’s another to see it. I realize that I’m staring at his crotch far longer than I should be.

I look up to find Lorcan already watching me, smirking. Clearing my throat, I pull the strap of my tank top back up and straighten the rest of my clothes, knowing my cheeks, ears, and chest are red.

“So,” I say, clearing my throat. “Living here is a no then?”

“I don’t think so.” He gestures towards the door. “I’m ready if you’re ready.”

My eyes go to the spiral staircase. “Should we tell them we’re leaving?”

He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together as we head for the door. “Probably best if I don’t see Fen for a few days.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “For telling me the truth?”

“Even if he didn’t mean to and was just running his mouth?” He looks down at me and sighs, but admits, “Yeah.”

His fingers loosen around mine and I think he’s expecting me to pull my hand away. But I don’t. As soon as we’re out in the hall, I say, “I’m glad he did. I’d rather find out now, than three months down the road.”

It’s quiet for a moment as we wait for the elevator. Just before it arrives, I whisper, “If you have any more secrets, now would be the time to tell me.”

The door opens and we step inside. “No more,” he says, pressing the button for the ground floor. “That’s the only one.”

As he says it, his fingers tighten around mine, as if he doesn’t want me to pull away.

I can’t help but think that means there’s more.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 21}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Before Nesta even opened her eyes, she knew that she’d gotten some of the best sleep she’d had in months. She knew it was early, since Nyx hadn’t even woken them up for his morning bottle yet. Sighing comfortably, she settled deeper into her pillows, the weight of a heavy arm slung over her waist, pulling her in close.

With sudden clarity, she remembered the events of the night before. She remembered the damn kiss that had started it all. She remembered the orgasms Cassian had given her over and over. She remembered seeing something shining in his eyes that had nothing to do with lust or sex.

She was sure it was reflected in her own, but couldn’t work up the nerve to let herself think about what they’d done last night, what it may have implied. What lines they may have crossed.

And the fact that she really didn’t give a damn.

Nesta couldn���t remember the last time she was this happy, and as much as she tried to pretend it wasn’t thanks to the man sleeping soundly behind her, in her bed, she couldn’t lie to herself.

So she gently rolled over, careful not to wake him, and took in his sleeping face.

It was kind of funny.

Nesta had known Cassian for a while, for five years, and before that in passing, considering Feyre and Rhysand’s relationship. She had watched him age, had watched him grow from a young man into the man that had taken her the night before, but looking at him now…

There was an innocence about him when he slept.

He snored, quietly, completely unaware that she was awake, that she was watching him.

He was cute.

So, so cute.

If he awoke at that very moment and saw her watching him sleep, she would have surely been mortified, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, she couldn’t look away.

Memories from the night before flashed through her mind, and it only made her that much happier. She couldn’t remember the last time she had fallen asleep in a man’s arms, but with Cassian, she had fallen asleep peacefully, nearly instantly, and slept amazingly.

There was something about Cassian that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she knew that she liked it.

She dared to gently brush a kiss over his cheek, before carefully climbing out of bed, his heavy arm making that a much harder endeavor than she was expecting. But he slept on soundly, not even stirring as she slipped from beneath the sheets and hurried into her closet. She wasn’t embarrassed by her nakedness, not after everything that had happened last night, but she knew that if he caught her naked, they were likely to take far longer getting downstairs to start their morning.

Not that she would have minded, but she was pretty sure neglecting Nyx was not a good enough reason for sex.

No, she’d enjoy him again later, as thoroughly as he’d enjoyed her last night, if he was willing. And she had no doubt that he would be.

Tying her robe around her waist, Nesta slipped from the closet into her room, glancing to make sure Cassian was still fast asleep. His snore confirmed he was.

Her chuckle was quiet as she entered the hall, sneaking down a few doors and opening Nyx’s. He was still asleep, as well, and with a smile, Nesta cracked his door and quietly padded down the stairs.

The kitchen was still a mess, his half-smashed cake on the counter and their clothes strewn around the room. Blushing, she picked them up one by one and tossed them into the laundry room, before making Nyx a bottle and starting on some scrambled eggs for his breakfast.

She could hardly focus. She was constantly thinking about the man upstairs, still sleeping soundly in her bed. Mixing a little cheese into the eggs, she stirred the eggs up in the pan before dumping them directly onto Nyx’s high chair tray.

Last time they’d slept together, Cassian had made her breakfast and then they’d both agreed it would never happen again. Regardless of the fact that it very much had happened again, Nesta didn’t like the sinking feeling she felt in her heart when she thought about having to agree to that once more.

Staring at the ingredients she’d pulled out of the fridge, Nesta sighed and braced her hands on the counter in front of her.

She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that she had feelings for Cassian anymore. At some point, he’d gone from being a pain in her ass to the favorite part of her day. And that terrified her.

Letting him continue to sleep, she crept upstairs and gently woke Nyx up before he could start screaming, and carried him down to the kitchen, his sleepy head resting on her shoulder. He rubbed his eyes as she put him in his high chair, handing him the bottle, and she started working on their breakfast.

The entire time he ate, Nyx watched Nesta curiously, as if he knew something was up.

Maybe it was just her paranoia. Then again, he was Feyre and Rhysand’s kid and they were always snooping into Cassian and Nesta’s business.

Feyre and Rhysand.

Nesta bet they were pretty damn proud of themselves at the moment.

She heard him moving around upstairs and her heart began to beat a little bit faster. This was it, the moment of truth.

She cursed, all the while Nyx kept watching her as he stuffed his mouth with scrambled eggs.

Making herself busy at the stove, she quickly dropped some bacon into the hot skillet, sizzling filling the kitchen. Within seconds, a few pieces of bread were in the toaster, and she was rummaging through the refrigerator for the blackberry jam she knew he preferred.

Nyx’s babbling announced his arrival, and she turned to find Cassian standing behind his high chair, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. He picked up a small clump of eggs and popped it into his mouth, and Nyx angrily began talking at him, though the made up words were unintelligible.

“He doesn’t like to share,” she said, closing the fridge door with a hip.

Cassian grinned. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. I worked up an appetite last night.”

Nesta’s cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “Is that so?”

Cassian nodded and walked toward her, slowly. Nesta remained still until he was standing just in front of her. “I have to confess that I was hoping you’d be there when I woke up this morning.”

Nesta stepped closer to him. “Breakfast and the baby called.”

Cassian scoffed and muttered, “Priorities.”

Nesta laughed quietly, but the sound was muffled by Cassian’s lips against hers.

It was almost instinct to lean into him, to smile against his lips. When she pulled back just a hair, his hazel eyes were bright. She whispered, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he breathed, his mouth still so close to hers.

She blushed, even though she couldn’t figure out why and turned to the stove. “I…wasn’t sure what to expect this morning.”

Cassian hesitated. “What did you think I’d do?”

Nesta sighed, scratching her head. “I don’t know. I thought you might act like it never happened. Or, you’d say it was only a one time thing like last time.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “Last time I didn’t sleep in your bed.”

“And that changes things?” Nesta asked, quietly.

“Last night changed things,” Cassian replied, brushing her hair back out of her face. “At least, for me it did.”

“Me too,” Nesta replied, without any hesitation.

Cassian’s eyes softened. “Nesta, I-.”

“NANANANANANANANA!”

They both spun around, where Nyx was watching them with the most precious of pissed off expressions. His tray was empty, practically licked clean, and Nyx was not having it.

Cassian chuckled as he took a banana out of the fruit basket and peeled it before cutting it up into slices. “He’s awfully full of it this morning, isn’t he?”

“I think he knows,” she said, rolling her eyes as she flipped the bacon. “Not specifically what happened, but he knows something is…different between us.”

He paused his cutting and turned back to her, pausing with a hip resting on the counter. “Good different or bad different?”

“Good different,” she said, smiling. She cracked a few eggs into a bowl and mixed them up with some milk. “Definitely good different.”

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but when she turned he was grinning. “Really good different?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She turned back around. “But yes.”

“Good,” he breathed, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “What’ve you got going on today?”

“Work,” she said. “Seeing how the bar renovation is going. Looks like you’ll have to hire your replacement soon with how quickly everything is moving.”

Cassian groaned. “That’s the part I’m looking towards the least. I hate interviews. I hate being in them, I hate giving them, they’re awful.”

“But the sooner you give them, the sooner you leave that bar and come work at mine,” she crooned.

“Yours?” he repeated, offended.

Nesta snorted. “Ours.”

He and Kallias had both given their notice to the owner of the dive bar they worked in. He wasn’t thrilled, but he had always been a gruff bastard. He’d informed Cassian he wasn’t going anywhere until he’d hired not only his replacement, but Kal’s, as well.

“Speaking of,” he sighed, glancing at the clock. “I’ve got one scheduled for eleven-thirty. What time are you going to the restaurant?”

She poured the egg mixture into the skillet she’d cooked the crispy bacon in moments before and began laying the bacon on the toast she’d made. “Whenever,” she shrugged. “Helion is opening today. What time can Viviane be here?”

“Ten. I’m not working a shift today, so after the interview I can either come back here and give her the rest of the day off, or I can come to the restaurant.”

Nesta chewed slowly as she thought about it. “I wouldn’t mind if you came to the restaurant.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Cassian said, placing the cut-up banana in front of a cranky Nyx. “And you, little man, better be good for Viv today. Because you’re grumpy.”

In response, Nyx spit out the piece of banana he had put in his mouth and smushed up the rest on his tray.

After scarfing down the breakfast that Nesta had made, and making a show of thanking her for it, Cassian was cleaning up the kitchen then hurrying upstairs to shower. Nesta was left cleaning up a fussy, banana-covered Nyx.

“I don’t even think you wanted to eat the banana, kiddo,” she muttered, cleaning off his tray, before wiping him down with an ungodly amount of baby wipes. “I think it was just to play in.”

He had plenty to say about that, just nothing Nesta could understand.

A few minutes later, freshly showered and dressed Cassian came downstairs, where Nyx was playing on the living room floor. She was up the stairs a minute later, hurrying to take her own shower. After an hour, she returned, purse and keys in hand. “I’m going to go ahead and head to the restaurant. I’ll see you in a little while?”

He nodded and as she made for the door, Cassian stood, catching her by the elbow and tugging her back to him. She stumbled a step, but he crushed her to his chest and pressed a kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, they were both grinning like fools. “I’ll see you in a little while,” he repeated.

“Okay.” She was backing towards the door, that smile looking like it was a permanent fixture on her face, before slipping out and leaving he and Nyx alone.

Who was watching him again, looking so much like Rhysand with that little eyebrow raised.

Cassian couldn’t help but snort and say, “This is your fault you know.”

A few hours later, right after Nyx had gone down for his mid- morning nap, Cassian heard a knock on the front door. Opening the door, Viviane rushed in. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, shaking her head.

Cass glanced at the clock on the mantle. “It’s barely ten-fifteen,” he chuckled. “No big deal, you’re fine.”

She nodded. “Sorry, just— It’s been a crazy morning.”

“Everything okay?” Cassian asked. Viv was usually steady, so sure of everything she did or said.

“Yeah,” she replied, waving off his question. “I’m fine. Ran into my ex at the coffee shop and— Ugh, ignore me. Don’t worry about it. Is Nyx down for his nap?”

“Yeah, he’s been out for about fifteen minutes. He had a pretty big breakfast, so I doubt he’ll be too hungry when he wakes up.” Cassian gnawed on his lip for a second debating on whether he should ask what was on his mind. After considering how well throwing caution to this wind has worked for him last night, he decided why the hell not. “Does that mean you’re single? Since you bumped into your ex?”

Viviane froze and blinked. “Yes, but I don’t date my employers—”

“No, no,” he quickly said, holding his hands out in placation. “It’s not me. It’s a friend of mine and I think you two might hit it off.”

Viviane raised a brow. “A friend, huh?”

“Guy I’ve worked with for years,” Cassian went on. “Great guy, in fact. You’ll enjoy yourself, guaranteed.”

“Guaranteed?” Viviane chuckled. “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Cassian grinned. “No, you can’t, and neither can he. Tomorrow night, you free?”

“I suppose I am, if my boss is giving me the night off,” she laughed.

“He is, and it’ll be great, we’ll all go out,” Cassian said. “You and Kal, and me and Nesta.”

“Kal,” she said, the shortened name rolling off her tongue. “Yeah, alright. That sounds fun.”

“Perfect,” Cassian said, patting her on the shoulder as he swept past her. “I’ve got to get going, but we should be home around five or so. Call if you need anything.”

Viviane chuckled. “You say that every time, and have I ever called?”

“It’s a habit!” he called, as he hurried out the door.

When he got to the bar, Kallias had everything under control, which meant Cassian was taking a table in the far corner, waiting for his interviewee to arrive.

Sadly, this wasn’t the interview to replace his own job. That was proving to be far more tedious than he was expecting. But an hour later, after shaking the young man’s hand, Cassian let out a sigh of relief as he left.

“And how’d that go?” Kallias asked, wiping down a few glasses that were drying atop the bar.

“Well, your position is officially filled,” he replied, sitting across from him at the bar. “So congratulations.”

“Cheers,” he chuckled, raising the empty glass towards Cassian. “When are we celebrating?”

“Tomorrow night, actually,” Cassian said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kal snorted. “Seriously? I was kidding.”

“I’m not,” Cassian replied, shrugging. “We’re going out tomorrow night. You, me, Nesta, and Viviane.”

Kallias blinked. “The hot nanny?”

Cassian grinned. “Yeah.”

Kallias looked at Cassian suspiciously. “I thought you were kidding when you said you were setting us up.”

“Oh, I never kid about love,” Cassian said, winking.

Kallias raised a brow. “Love? Who the hell are you?”

Cassian filled his glass and took a gulp of beer. “Just meet us at Rita’s at eight tomorrow.”

Kallilas continued to stare at him for a long while. “You slept with her again, didn’t you?”

Cassian’s grin widened. “Tomorrow. Rita’s. Eight.”

And with that, he chugged his beer and left.

*

The next night, Cassian and Nesta dropped Nyx off at Elain’s before making their way to Rita’s.

“Our first date,” Cassian crooned, reaching his hand across the car to Nesta’s.

She took it fondly. “Our first date? After all we’ve been through, do we even qualify for a first date?”

“Why?” Cassian scoffed. “Just because we’ve been sleeping together and living with each other and raising a kid together?” He snorted. “Of course, we deserve a first date.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but did not protest.

Cassian had slept in her bed last night after another night of lovemaking. Even though it didn’t seem possible, it got better with each time. The more they got to know each other’s bodies, the more familiar with one another they became, the more they became one in intimacy, the more amazing it was.

“You look amazing tonight,” Cassian said, quietly. “In case I haven’t told you that yet tonight.”

He had.

Multiple times.

But, Nesta couldn’t blame him. She did look amazing in her navy blue dress and her blush heels. She looked over at Cassian, in his jeans and button down shirt.

Coincidentally, it wasn’t much different than what he had worn on their actual first date five years before. She chuckled, and he looked over at her, brow raised.

“This is actually our second date,” she said.

Cassian shook his head, amused, before looking back out the window as he turned into the parking lot. “Well, hopefully this date goes better than that one did.”

Nesta agreed.

As soon as Cassian opened Nesta’s door, they spotted Viviane pulling into the parking lot. They knew she was a pretty girl, but she usually showed up to work with a ponytail, jeans, and a t-shirt. Now, she had really dressed to impress.

Cassian whistled as she got out of her car and Vivane blushed as Nesta’ jabbed him in the ribs.

“You look beautiful,” Nesta told Vivane.

“Thanks,” she said, and Nesta could tell the nanny was a little nervous, a little uncomfortable.

“I see Kal’s truck,” Cassian said, gesturing for the women to follow. “I guess he’s already inside.”

Indeed he was and he’d already gotten a table for the four of them and was working on a pitcher of a beer.

“Hey, man,” Cassian greeted him as Kallias stood and shook his hand. “This is Nesta,” he said, placing a hand on her back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said, reaching for his hand as well. They shook hands and Kallias smiled.

“You, too,” he replied. “I guess I should call you boss now, huh?”

“No, no, no,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Please don’t.”

“And this,” Cassian interrupted, rolling his eyes at the two of them, “is Viviane.”

As if he somehow hadn’t noticed the blond beauty behind Cassian until this moment, Kallias looked up at her and blinked. He was about to make some sort of hot nanny joke when Kallias breathed, “Viv?”

She was looking at him with the same dumbfounded look Kallias had on his face. “Kallias… Hey.”

Cassian and Nesta looked between the two, then at each other, and after a moment, Nesta asked, “You two know each other?”

Kallias still looked like he was trying to figure out what planet he was on, so Viviane answered, “We were…childhood friends. But my family moved to Velaris when I started middle school.” She shook her head, but she had been looking at Kallias the whole time. “I had no idea you were in Velaris.”

He finally remembered to speak, though Cassian was beginning to wonder if he’d need to answer for him. “I came out here for college. Loved the city and decided to stay.”

“College?” Viviane repeated. “You’re telling me that you’ve been here since your freshman year, and you’ve never called?”

Kallias chuckled. “I didn’t even know you still lived here!”

“Hmm,” Viviane said, taking a seat across from him. “Well, what a small world, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Kallias repeated, “small world.”

Cassian took a seat by Kallias and Nesta sat across from them as they went a little bit more in depth into their long lost friendship. Apparently they had grown up in the same neighborhood and had always gone to the same elementary school. Kallias was a year older than Viviane, but when he went into the seventh grade and Viviane was going into sixth, her family moved to Velaris for her father’s work.

They had never talked again after that. Their friendship was nothing more than a simple, joyful memory.

Seeing them now, Nesta thought, she just knew the two of them had gotten into trouble when they were little. Between their jokes and sly looks at one another, and the obvious chemistry, they had surely been up to no good and gave both sets of parents a run for their money.

“I’m going to the bar,” Cassian announced, looking at Nesta. “Care to join?”

Nesta had a feeling that it was less about going to the bar and more about giving the newfound couple beside them a few minutes alone. She nodded, and took his hand as they walked toward the bar on the other side of the room.

“They’re cute together,” Nesta said, sitting on a barstool.

Cassian sat on the one next to her. “Oh, I know. You know, I’ve gotta say, I feel pretty damn accomplished right now. I definitely made this happen.”

Nesta couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him, even as she leaned into his embrace. She wanted nothing more than to poke fun at him, to mess with him about his unexpected matchmaking skills, but as she looked at the two happy people laughing at the table across the bar, she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the gift that Rhysand and Feyre had tried to give them all those years ago.

Even now, Nesta’s chest tightened as she smiled, so thankful for her meddling, baby sister.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 24}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Sorry for the late post! My baby shower was today, so Tara and I have been extremely busy! Look for Chapter 25 on her blog on Monday!

Warning: 18+ content.

Cassian got to the restaurant and took a look around. There were people everywhere, bustling about, getting ready for the night’s grand opening.

It had become the talk of the town - and the local groups on the internet - so they were expecting a good turnout.

At least, that’s what Cassian’s guess was.

He hadn’t talked to Nesta since he stormed out two days before, with the exception of one text exchange.

Cassian had texted, Tell Nyx I love him and I will see him tomorrow.

Nesta had replied, Ok.

Now, he was searching for that tiny little man with a mop of dark, black hair.

When he finally found Nyx, he was in his stroller eating cheeto puffs off the tray. When he saw Cassian his eyes lit up and he was instantly reaching for him.

Cassian laughed as he unbuckled him from his stroller and picked him up, giving him the biggest hugs. “Hey, buddy. I missed you, too.”

“This is his third helping of cheetos,” Helion said, from where he leaned against the wall. “Sorry about the next diaper.”

Cassian chuckled. “All this going on and Nesta stuck you on baby duty?”

Even saying her name out loud hurt, but he didn’t let it show.

He gestured toward the kitchen and said, “She’s been here since six and she’s in one of her moods. I decided I’d rather be on baby duty than caught in the crossfire.”

He winced, figuring that didn’t bode well for the two of them today. “I’ll stay in the bar, then.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Helion replied, looking him up and down, before pushing the stroller behind the counter. Cassian had the distinct feeling he was looking for a crack in his armor. He didn’t bother telling him that he’d been broken for two days, and the only person who could fix him was currently yelling at some poor employee in the kitchen.

Cass crossed the threshold into the bar area and let out a low whistle. He’d had a hand in the design, but most of this was all Nesta. It accented the restaurant perfectly and he immediately loved the place.

“Nice, right?”

He turned to find Kallias carrying a tray of fresh glasses from the dish area and the smile on his friend’s face was infectious.

Cassian nodded as Kallias said hello to Nyx. “Yeah, it looks amazing.”

Kallias nodded. “You and Nesta did good.”

“Thanks,” Cassian muttered, not wanting the conversation to go any further. “How long have you been here?”

“Just got here,” Kallias said, as Nyx started playing with the strings on Cassian’s hoodie. “Viv will be here soon to help out. She said she can watch Nyx while we work.”

Cassian nodded. “That would be great.”

It would be helpful, of course, to have Viviane help out watching Nyx. Cassian had a ton to get done in the next six hours before the opening began. He didn’t want to let Nyx go, though. Two days. It was the longest he had been away from Nyx since...everything happened.

“Well, little man, until then, you get to help me unpack liquor bottles,” Cassian said, trying his best to sound excited.

Nyx giggled. “Ba ba ba ba ba ba.”

“Yeah, different kind of bottles,” Cassian chuckled, and carried Nyx with him into the back room.

Kallias had been at the bar for the past two days, getting most of the stock ready to go. A few texts to explain the situation was all he’d needed and Cassian was thankful he had such a loyal friend and coworker.

Elain hadn’t been as understanding the first night he’d been there, but after talking to Nesta, even she backed off. He had no clue what Nesta had said to her, but her frustration turned to sympathy and she was back to treating Cassian like the brother-in-law she loved and not like a man who’d hurt her sister.

After pulling the carrier out of Nyx’s stroller, he strapped the baby to his chest and set to work, carrying case after case of liquor up to the bar. Kallias was busy stocking the assorted glasses they’d need, so the two worked in silence for the most part.

He had just walked back into the store room, short one case of whiskey, when he heard Nesta talking from the dry pantry separating the store room and kitchen. Cassian’s heart lurched and he was about to make his way back into the bar, but Nyx squealed as he heard her voice.

The swinging door flew open as Nesta hurried into the store room, wondering how Nyx had gotten in there in the first place. She froze when she found Cassian there. Their eyes locked and she blinked.

“Hey, Nes,” he said, quietly.

“I…didn’t know you were here,” she breathed.

He shrugged, turning back to the boxes of bottles. “Got here about an hour ago. Didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Nyx was reaching for her, so he unclipped the carrier and gave him to her. He giggled happily as soon as he was in Nesta’s arms, but she froze, unsure of what to say. “You should have let me know you were here.”

Another shrug. “You were busy, and I knew what I needed to do. Kal said Viv would be here later to watch him.”

She nodded, silence filling the space again.

Nyx pointed at Cassian, reaching for him. “Dada.”

Cassian stilled.

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth.

A second passed.

Then, at last, he said, “What did he just say?”

“Dada,” Nyx repeated, and clapped his hands together. He reached for Cassian. “Dada!”

Cassian took Nyx, although he was moving slowly, stunned into silence. Nesta watched as a thousand different emotions crossed his face.

“Dada?” Cassian breathed, looking from Nyx to Nesta. “He just called me-.”

“He’s been saying it for the past two days,” Nesta said, staring at a spot on the wall behind Cassian.

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but then he asked, “You didn’t bother to tell me that?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed and she slowly met his gaze. “You left.”

“A simple text letting me know that Nyx said his first word wouldn’t’ve killed you,” Cassian snapped. “Especially since his first word was…” Cassian shook his head, that fury fading as quickly as it had come. He looked at Nyx and chuckled, softly. “Dada, hmm?”

“Dada,” Nyx said, taking Cassian’s face into his hands before patting his stubbled cheeks with his chubby little palms.

Cassian watched Nyx for a moment, chuckling softly, before asking Nesta, “Has he said anything else?”

Nesta shook her head, even though Cassian wasn’t looking at her. “Just that. Probably wondering where you were. He’s been saying it nonstop, after all.”

“I’m sorry, bud,” he said, softly. He kissed the top of his head. “I’m still right here though.”

He was about to buckle him back into the carrier when Nesta reached for him. “I can take him. You’ve got a lot to do.”

“No more than you,” he said, settling him back into the carrier. “And I’ve missed him. Viv will come see Kallias when she gets here. Let me keep him.”

Her hands fell to her sides. “Fine.”

The tiny room felt like it was closing in on him, looking at her. They were so close together, whether they wanted to be or not. Without another word, Cassian grabbed the closest box and shouldered his way back through the swinging door.

Kallias caught the look on his face as soon as he came back. “That must have been the first conversation you two have had.”

Cassian grunted in response, letting Nyx continue to pat at his face.

“And how’d it go?” He asked, leaning against the bar.

“About as well as you think.”

Kallias watched his old friend for a moment before nodding, deciding to let the conversation drop. Cassian was grateful for it.

He was thankful for Nyx, too, for an endless amount of reasons, but right now, he was a distraction. With Nyx here, he was only thinking about Nyx, not about Nesta.

Cassian spent the next couple of hours lining up liquor bottles, and when Viv got there, she happily took Nyx and let Cassian work.

Once Nyx began playing with Viviane, Cassian’s thoughts were once again on the last person he wanted to be thinking about.

He continued to work, trying his best to keep his mind on that. It was kind of hard, though, when the owner of the restaurant was Nesta. He guessed he was part owner now, too - owner of the bar, anyway.

The hours flew by and by the time Cassian decided to check his watch, he realized he only had thirty minutes until the doors were opening for the main event.

He needed to get out of his old hoodie and into something nicer.

After making his way into the stockroom, he pulled off his hoodie before digging into his backpack for the black henley he’d brought. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was sure better than his ripped hoodie.

The door swung open as he was pulling his shirt over his head, and when he turned around, he saw Nesta, once again.

She stilled just in front of the door. “Are you planning on being in here every time I come in?”

It was meant to be a joke, something to lighten the mood, Cassian knew, but the light didn’t exactly reach her eyes.

He looked down at his shirt. “Just had to change. Didn’t think a hoodie was appropriate for an opening celebration.”

Nesta nodded, giving him a forced smile. “Couldn’t have gone all out with a button down?”

“This is Azriel’s,” he said. “All of my nicer things are at…home.”

He said the last word hesitantly.

Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut. He knew she was dying to say something, but what it was he couldn’t tell. He thought he knew her well enough to read her face. It seemed he was wrong though.

“I’ll come by and get my things on my day off this week,” he said, saving her the request. He pulled the Henley over his head, leaving his backpack against the store room wall. “You won’t even know I was there.”

“Cassian…”

He pushed back through the door without waiting to hear what she was going to say.

This was agony. Every moment of being around her hurt, because every time he saw her, he knew that he’d wasted the past three months of his life. He’d wasted his time falling in love with her, because she still hadn’t said it back.

“Dada!”

Nyx and Viv sat at one of the new tables, Nyx munching on some crackers, and even Kallias’ eyes dragged to him. Nyx’s blue eyes were the only ones he cared about though.

“That’s new,” Kallias said, from where he leaned across the bar.

Nyx’s new favorite word was one of the few things that had made him smile all day. Even if it tore him apart at the same time.

He didn’t mind Nyx calling him that. He was still too young to understand what had happened to Rhys. So one day, he’d explain to him who he really was, and who Rhys was. But until then, he was content to be Dada.

Cassian lifted him out of the high chair he was in and smiled, wistfully. “Hey, buddy.”

On the other side of the room, Nesta pushed through the double doors and into the restaurant, making sure everything was in order as the clock ticked down.

Cassian couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

He wondered if she knew.

*

This was the biggest night that Nesta had in quite some time. A new bar would be amazing for business, and she was expecting a hell of a crowd.

And she wasn’t disappointed.

At exactly six, people began to pour in. They sat, and they ate, and by the Mother, they drank. She was amazed at how well Nyx was doing. She kept expecting to see him sleeping in a corner with Viviane, but he was being passed around to Viv, Kallias, Helion, and Cassian, having the time of his little life.

Nesta was glad someone was enjoying their night.

She should be enjoying her night, should be pumped at the booming business, but she could hardly focus.

All she could think about was him.

Cassian.

Every time she even got a glimpse of him, she wanted to run into his arms and tell him that she loved him. But she couldn’t do that. She had no clue what the repercussions of their relationship would do to Nyx, especially if something were to happen. If they were to break up, would this be their future? Barely speaking, passing the kid back and forth, both of them in misery?

Even when Elain and Azriel got there, both giving her hugs and warm smiles, the one on her face wasn’t real. She knew Elain could tell, knew she wanted to pull her aside, get the whole story, and quite possibly talk some sense into her, but she wouldn’t.

She couldn’t.

Not tonight.

As much as she tried to spend most of her time in the dining room, greeting guests and asking how they liked the drinks and new menu items, she kept ending up in the kitchen.

She got word that there had been a small grease fire on the line and she was about to rush into the kitchen when Helion stepped in front of her.

“Take a breath.”

“I can’t,” she replied, pulling her hair back off of her face. “There was a fire and-.”

“And it’s under control,” he said, gripping her by the shoulders. “It’s been put out, and I can go deal with Emrys and Luca and any potential fallout. Go have a drink, relax with your sister. You deserve a glass of wine and a moment to sit down.”

Nesta hesitated, but Helion wasn’t having it.

“Go,” he said. “Kallias is currently manning the bar. Go order a drink before the next wave of people come along.”

With a huff, Nesta nodded and exited the kitchen. True to Helion’s word, it was Kallias that was behind the bar. The second he saw Nesta coming, he was pouring a glass of wine.

She took a sip as soon as she reached the counter. “Vodka.”

Kallias blinked, then obliged her. He poured her a shot, Nesta downed it and thanked him, then took her glass of wine around the room to greet people. She eventually found Elain and Azriel, and was getting ready to take a seat by them, until she noticed Cassian already sitting with them, Nyx in his lap.

Bypassing their table, she gave them both an apologetic smile, before redirecting herself towards the bar. She breezed past it and Kallias, draining her wine and leaving it by the sink, before she entered the store room.

Cassian must have handed the baby off to Elain or Viviane, because not even a few seconds later, he was right behind her.

“Is this how it’s gonna be, Nes?” He asked, not stopping until he was right in front of her. “Are we just going to avoid each other, unless Nyx is concerned?”

The door hadn’t even finished swinging shut, but she noticed Kallias stacking a few boxes in front of the door.

For all intents and purposes, do not enter.

Their first night working together and already a fight. She couldn’t blame his frustration, this was all her fault.

“It hurts to see you,” she breathed. “It hurts to see you because I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“You don’t know what the hell is going on?” He asked, incredulously. “I don’t know what the hell is going on! You’re so-.” His words fell away and his eyes shut as he rubbed his temples.

Nesta arched a brow. “I’m so what?”

“Infuriating,” he said, and met her eyes with a pained expression that knocked the breath out of Nesta. “It hurts for you to see me? It kills me to see you, but you know what? That’s on you. I wasn’t the one that started questioning everything. And you want to know what’s ironic? You’re pushing me away because you’re afraid it won’t work out. But, it’s not working now, Nesta. In pushing me away, you made what you’re worried about a reality.” He shook his head, slowly. “What the hell is the point of that?”

Nesta didn’t say anything. Her jaw locked and she refused to break his gaze, no matter how much it tortured her.

“It’s better for it to happen now rather than later,” she said, and hated herself for it the second the words left her. “It’s better for it to end before it really begins.”

Cassian chuckled, humorlessly, and shook his head. “That's bullshit and you know it. It already began, Nesta.”

He took a step toward her, and in such a small room, it left very little space between them.

Nestas breath hitched, and judging by the way Cassian’s eyes flared, he definitely noticed.

“Tell me you don’t care about me, and it’s done. We’ll pretend these past few weeks never happened, and we can move on,” he whispered, and she could feel his breath fan over her face. “Tell me this all meant nothing to you, and it’s over.”

Her eyes flashed down to his lips before meeting his own. “I can’t do that.”

Cassian wasn’t sure who moved first. If he grabbed her face or if she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, but before he knew what was happening, he had her back pressed against the store room wall. Gods, it had only been a few days, but kissing her again, the feel of her lips on his, it felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe.

Her hands were clawing at his back and he found her thighs, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He hadn’t even noticed she’d changed into a loose, sundress but thanks to her own wardrobe change, there was very little fabric between them as she let go of him to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans.

There were no words necessary, not when they both needed the other as badly as they did.

Their lips never broke, that contact remained, hungrily, needily, as Nesta pulled Cassian’s cock out and, moving the thin scrap of fabric beneath her dress aside, he pushed himself up into her.

Nesta moaned into his mouth at the feeling of him filling her. He bit her lip, and that moan deepened as he began to thrust deep inside of her, over and over again.

There was no foreplay.

Foreplay wasn’t necessary, not this time.

Two days, two nights, had been far too long when they had become so accustomed to this same ritual every night, time and time again.

Cassian’s head fell back as he fucked her, relentlessly, then he met her lustful gaze. His forehead fell against hers as he slowed his pace. With a soft, reverent curse, Cassian breathed her name.

She clung to him, the smell and taste and feel of him making her feel far more drunk than the wine or liquor had. Nesta buried her face in his neck, trying to cover the sounds tumbling from her.

He captured her lips again, knowing her body better than his own at this point, and thrust into her as hard as he could.

The bottles on the shelves rattled gently, but he didn’t care if anyone could hear them in the bar. He didn’t care if anyone caught them. All he cared about was that he was deep inside of her, listening to the quiet whimpers and moans that she couldn’t stop.

There was no way she could walk away from this.

Not just from the sex. Which, yeah, was incredible, but there was more to it than that.

Their souls were connected, which is what made the sex so mindblowingly phenomonal.

It was more than just sex.

It was something that Cassian swore no one else had ever witnessed before. Or, maybe they had. Maybe this is what it felt like when you found the person you were meant to spend forever with.

No, Nesta couldn’t walk away from this.

He swore, hoped, prayed she couldn’t.

He wanted to say those little words. Wanted to tell her, so desperately, that he loved her, but he didn’t.

He just kept saying her name over and over and over again with every thrust of his hips.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Nesta,” he breathed, and she cried out as her legs began to shake around him. He cursed, his fingers digging into her thighs as his body flooded with the need to explode.

As soon as her release slammed into her, he met his own, her name a groan as he spilled into her. They stayed like that for a moment, him still buried inside her, even as his seed started to drip down her legs. Thankfully, the sound of the party out front had covered any and all noises they’d made. Her breathing was still uneven as he pulled out, and he pulled that ripped hoodie from his backpack and silently used it to clean her up.

Tossing it back towards his bag, not caring if it made it inside or not, he paused in front of her, and tried to tilt her face up to his.

She refused.

He breathed, “Look at me, Nes…”

She shook her head, and damn him if those weren’t tears starting to spill down her cheeks.

He gripped her chin, forcing her eyes up to meet his. “Damn it, Nesta, talk to me. Just talk to me and tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I think you need to go,” she breathed.

He hesitated. “What?”

“You need to go,” she repeated, but there was no bite in her voice.

Cassian took her face in his hands and brought her eyes to his. “I’m not leaving. Not after that.”

“Go,” she repeated, and another tear slid free. “Go, Cass, please.”

He shook his head, fury, frustration, utter misery filling his core. He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Damn it, Nesta! What do you want?!”

“For you to leave,” she hissed.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Cassian snapped. “You say you can’t tell me that you never cared, you fuck me in a damned store room, then you ask me to leave?”

“You’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“I’m making this harder?” he asked, breathlessly, unable to stop his darkened laughter. He looked away from her and sucked in his bottom lip.

A moment passed, and Cassian refused to meet her gaze. “I don’t get it,” he said, at last. “I don’t get it. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what you want from me.” His words were coming out rushed, frazzled. “Know what? Fine. If this is the way you want it, this is the way it is. I’ll be at Elain’s and Azriel’s tonight, and I’m taking Nyx with me. I’ll bring him by tomorrow, when Viviane is there.”

With that, he was gone.

And Nesta was left alone, her hands flying over her mouth as she sobbed, still able to feel the soft, tender, alluring feeling of his lips on hers.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 19}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Well, we promised a chapter today, so we decided to follow through on that. Even if we did post a surprise chapter last night. Oh, well. Enjoy! 🙃✨

Cassian sighed as he opened his eyes.

Another year older, another year wiser.

Well.

Another year older, anyway.

He blinked as he looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 7:58. Two minutes before his alarm would have gone off.

He hated when that happened, when his mind woke him up just before his alarm went off. There was no time to go back to sleep, it was perfect sleeping time wasted.

It was bullshit.

With a yawn, Cassian swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up. He stumbled to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, just in time for his alarm to go off.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, quickly turning it off before flinging open his bedroom door.

It smelled delicious.

He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nesta was icing a giant cake.

Her eyes darted to his.

He blinked.

“Get out!” she ordered.

“What the hell are you-.”

“Out!” she ordered, yet again.

Nyx babbled something at the top of his lungs that closely resembled, YEAH!

He did as he was told, blearily blinking as he stumbled back into the living room. He dragged a hand down his face. “Can I at least have some coffee?”

“In a minute!” She called and he heard quick footsteps, followed by the back door opening and closing. It opened again and she said, breathlessly, “Okay. You can come in now.”

Tentatively, Cassian rounded the corner and he found Nesta placing a platter of cinnamon rolls on the counter in place of the—

“Where did the cake go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nesta was lifting a cinnamon roll onto each of the plates in front of her, cutting the one for Nyx into tiny bites for him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He blinked again, half-wondering if he’d imagined the decorated monstrosity he’d seen on the counter, but he sniffed, smelling the air again.

It mostly smelled like the sweet and spicy scent of cinnamon, but—

No, that was definitely cake he smelled.

“Right…” he said, pulling forks out of the silverware drawer and setting one next to each plate. “You’re up early.”

“Had a lot to do before renovations start this morning. I’m meeting Helion and the contractor at the restaurant at nine.” She sipped her own coffee, not looking at him. Mixing truth and lies, it seemed, since he knew she was meeting the contractor this morning. As for a lot to do, he knew everything at the restaurant was already taken care of. She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early either.”

Cutting into the gooey cinnamon roll, he said, “I gotta be at the bar in an hour. I’m talking with Kallias this morning before my shift starts.”

She set her coffee down and finally looked at him. “You have to work today?”

“Yeah,” he replied, popping the bite of pastry into his mouth. He resisted the urge to moan. “It’s Tuesday. I always work on Tuesdays.”

She hesitated, deciding whether she should speak or not. “But it’s your birthday.”

He couldn’t stop his smirk. He knew there had been a cake.

“And who told you that?” He asked, leaning over to wipe Nyx’s face off. The poor kid had icing all over his face, all the way up into his hair.

“That’s not important,” she said.

“Elain, then,” Cassian went on with a grin.

Nesta pretended like she hadn’t heard him and took a giant bite of her cinnamon roll.

“I’ll take Nyx with me to the bar,” Cassian said. “Viviane texted. She has the stomach flu.”

Nesta cringed. “That sucks. I...wait - you’re taking a baby to a bar?”

Cassian shrugged. “He’ll be fine. I only have to stay until two or so.”

“A baby,” she repeated, blinking. “To a bar.”

“You prefer to take him into a construction zone?” Cassian asked. “One that you’re in charge of? That sounds stressful.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I can ask Elain to watch-.”

“I’m taking him with me and he’ll be fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I promise.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. And he held up both hands. “I promise,” he repeated.

“Fine. But call me if you need to and I’ll come get him,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be in my office most of the day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around in a construction zone.”

“And I’ll take the carrier and physically wear him all day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around the actual bar.”

Nesta groaned. “Fine. Fine. But take the pack-n-play, his monitor and toys. He can entertain himself well enough.”

“Okay,” Cassian nodded, finishing off his cinnamon roll. He pulled Nyx out of his high chair, who was now playing with and wearing most of his food, rather than eating it, and said, “I’ll give him a bath while you get ready.”

“Okay.” He was nearly in the living room when he heard, “Cass?” He turned and looked back at her, still not completely used to the familiar nickname from her. She was blushing slightly. “Happy birthday.”

Smiling, he said, “Thanks,” and turned to head up the stairs.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

*

“Any birthday plans?”

“You’re looking at it.”

Kallias chuckled as he observed Cassian, a wiggly baby strapped to his chest, counting the liquor bottles that lined the wall.

“How old are you anyway?” he continued, wiping down the bartop. “Thirty? Thirty-one?”

“You wound me,” Cassian muttered, scribbling a number down on his clipboard, not bothering to tell Kallias just how close to thirty he was getting to.

“I would say we should do shots to celebrate your big day,” Kallias began, taking Nyx’s outstretched hand. “But, I think your little housewife would disapprove.”

Cassian snorted. “If Nesta Archeron ever heard you call her such a thing, you’d lose a very important body part.”

“Not interested in that, thank you very much,” he muttered. “She ever gonna stop in, so I can see this terrifying woman you’ve told me about?”

“About that…” Cassian pulled Nyx out of the carrier and carried him into the back office, setting him down in the play pen. Grabbing the baby monitor, he made his way back into the front room.

Kallias looked up from where he was cutting limes at the bar. “About what?”

He leaned a hip on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nesta is going to be expanding the restaurant, adding a bar. That’s actually where she is right now, why I’ve got the kiddo with me. Didn’t really want him in a construction site.”

“Hot nanny couldn’t keep him?” Kallias asked, grinning.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “No, she’s sick. But, uh-.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be leaving and going over there, managing for her.”

Kallias eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah. And I’d like you to come over there with me. Be my assistant manager at the new place.”

Kallias stopped cutting, mid-lime. “You do realize we are two out of five people that work here, right?”

Cassian nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I do. And I also know we can hire more people here.”

Kallias looked back down at his half-cut lime. “Assistant manager, huh?”

“It’s in a great part of town, we’d get amazing tips on top of already being paid more,” Cassian said. “It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“So I’d be stupid to say no, then?” Kallias asked, continuing to cut his limes.

“Incredibly stupid,” Cassian agreed.

Nyx’s happy babbling came through on the baby monitor.

“I’ll think about it,” Kallias said, at last.

“Think about it, then tell me yes, because I’m not going there without you,” Cassian said.

Kallias snorted. “You’re a shitty liar. You’re going, whether I go or not.”

“And why wouldn’t you come with me?” Cassian asked, facing his friend. He and Kallias had worked together for years, since Kallias came in at twenty-one, during his senior year of college. “You want to be stuck in this dive bar forever? I know you. You’re a creature of habit. If I leave you here, you’ll be here for the next twenty years.”

Kallias didn’t bother telling him it wasn’t true. He just shook his head. “I guess we better start interviewing people, then.”

*

The day did not go as planned. Cassian had to stay and help out until nearly five-thirty, and by the time Cassian walked in the front door, Nyx was knocked out cold in his car seat. He gently set it down and unbuckled him, carrying him into the kitchen. It smelled divine, like roasting herbs and cooked veggies, even if he couldn’t see anything radiating the delicious smells.

Nesta was also nowhere in sight, so he took Nyx up to his nursery and laid him down, setting the baby monitor back up where it usually sat. He slipped the screen in his back pocket and made his way back downstairs, hurrying out to his truck to get Nyx’s diaper bag and the folded up playpen.

As he was setting it back up in the living room, he heard the sliding glass door open and close and made sure he was making enough noise to alert Nesta of his presence.

“You’re home,” she said, leaning on the doorway. “Nyx asleep?”

“Out like a light,” he said, tossing the few toys he’d brought with him back into the pen. “He had fun though.”

“Good. Dinner is almost done,” she smiled. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starving,” he sighed and took another deep breath in. “It smells amazing.”

Turning, Nesta walked back into the kitchen. “Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and green beans, and homemade rolls.”

He watched as she took the carrots and green beans out of the oven and placed them next to a plate of steak she must have just brought in from the grill.

Cassian’s mouth was damn near watering.

He looked at the spread as she spooned the mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Nesta tensed, then something like nervous laughter sputtered out of her mouth. “Well, I had to cook red meat for you on your birthday.”

“Does that mean you’ll be having yourself a steak, Archeron?” he asked, taking the full plate from her outstretched hands.

She gave him an amused look. “Hell no. You get both. I have a chicken kabob on the grill.”

Cassian licked his lips as he took his plate to the table. “Consider me a lucky man. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, clearing her throat. She piled her plate high with potatoes and veggies before going onto the deck and coming back with a grilled chicken kabob on her plate. She sat across from him. Cassian’s mouth was already full.

“How is it?” Nesta asked, cutting up a carrot before popping it into her mouth.

“Delicious,” Cassian said, mouth full. “So good.”

“If you don’t slow down, you won’t be able to enjoy the flavor,” Nesta said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t listen. Cassian practically inhaled everything on his plate within minutes.

He moaned, stretching back in his chair before running a hand through his hair. “I must say, Nes, you really outdid yourself.”

“Well, it was the least I could do after you worked and were on baby duty all day,” she said, popping a few green beans in her mouth.

They talked about their days as she finished eating. He told her about Kallias’ agreement to move to the restaurant, she told him about the beginning of construction.

They’d kept half the restaurant open, putting up a temporary wall to keep as much noise and dust out as they could, but the sooner the build was done the better. They both agreed on that.

“So, despite your switch with the cinnamon rolls this morning,” Cassian said from where he sat as she rinsed off their plates, “I’m fairly sure I saw a cake when I came downstairs.”

“Really now,” she said, and he saw the small smile on her face.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “And, you know, I like cake.”

“And why, exactly, would I make you a cake?” She crooned, that little smile remaining.

“Because I’m the world's best roommate and uncle, obviously,” he said.

Nesta laughed as she stood. “Yeah, whatever.”

After exiting through the back door, she returned a moment later with a big, homemade cake.

It was exquisite.

Perfectly decorated and topped with vanilla and buttercream frosting, it read Happy birthday, Cassian!

As Nesta placed it on the countertop, Cassian asked, “Nesta, when the hell did you find time to make this?”

She shrugged. “Stayed up later and got up early. Didn’t have to be too early since you decided to sleep in today, but…” Her words trailed off. “I figured it was the least I could do.”

His mouth tightened, emotion he wasn’t expecting hitting him and he cleared his throat. “You gonna sing to me?” He asked, cracking a joke to break the tension that was slowly growing.

Nesta threw her head back and laughed. “Absolutely not.”

Cassian bit back his retort and the monitor in his back pocket went off, crying coming from upstairs.

“I’ll get him,” she said, standing up. “I’m sure he’s hungry. Will you cut up green beans and carrots for him?”

He nodded, the cake forgotten as he did what he was told, and Nesta returned with a bleary-eyed Nyx a few minutes later.

“Hi buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling at Nyx’s hazy expression. He was already sitting at the table with a plate of cut up food.

The second Nyx saw the display, he was whining and reaching for it.

“Slow down, you need to be buckled into your seat first,” Nesta said, shaking her head.

“I can’t blame him,” Cassian said, as Nyx was strapped into his high chair. “I’m starving when I wake up, too.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Men.”

The second Nyx’s diapered butt hit the seat, he was stuffing his mouth.

“I guess we should wait for him to eat the cake,” Cassian said, looking longingly at the cake.

Nesta chuckled. “No patience?”

“When it comes to homemade baked goods?” Cassian scoffed. “No.”

She snorted, which had Cassian raising an eyebrow. She looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “That was just…cute.”

Nesta didn’t reply, but he swore she could see her cheeks heating as she turned to put the leftovers from dinner away.

Once Nyx’s plate was cleared, Nesta cut three slices of cake. One was barely a sliver, one was mostly icing and one was damn near a quarter of the cake. She took the one with extra frosting for herself, placing the small one in front of Nyx and the larger one in front of Cassian.

Again, Nyx wasted no time scarfing it down. Cassian didn’t either, helping himself to another, much smaller piece afterwards, but not touching it yet.

“You sure you don’t want to sing to me?” He asked, taking a bite of the cake. “It would complete my day.”

Nyx, an impending sugar crash, was already dozing again. Apparently, his day with Uncle Cassian had well and truly worn him out.

She rolled her eyes and wiped the excess cake off of Nyx’s face. Pulling him out of his high chair, she said, “No, I think I’m good.”

“I’m just saying,” Cassian pushed. “If you wanted to really wish me a happy birthday, a song would do.”

Nesta snorted, taking Nyx in her arms and swaying, back and forth. “You’ve never heard me sing.”

“If your singing is as good as your cooking, it must be amazing,” Cassian promised.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Have I told you that you’re full of shit?”

Cassian pretended to debate it. “Maybe once or twice.”

Nesta chuckled, and said no more about it. “Finish your cake, Nazari. This little monster is ready for bed. I’ll put him down. It’s your birthday.”

It wasn’t that putting Nyx to bed was exhausting. Although sometimes it could be a chore, Cassian nodded and took another bite of his cake as Nesta and Nyx disappeared.

In their absence, Cassian cleared his plate.

The cake was delicious.

He knew Nesta was an amazing cook, but didn’t know that her baking skills were just as good. It was the best cake he had ever eaten. He was even considering getting himself a third piece, but decided against it as she rounded the corner back into the kitchen.

She sighed, falling into her chair. “That may have been record time to get him down. He was practically asleep before I’d even pulled the curtains shut.”

“He had a big day,” Cassian said, eyeing the piece of cake on her plate that she hadn’t even touched. “Taught him how to make a mojito. He’s a pro. Maybe we should hire him on at the bar.”

Shaking her head, Nesta cut into her cake and took a bite. She chuckled. “I’m sure that doesn’t violate any labor laws.”

“Nah, we’re his guardians,” Cassian said, waving a hand. “We can certainly get some free labor out of him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” She took another bite of cake, and Cassian’s eyes dipped to her mouth. He was quiet for long enough that she asked, “What?”

He hesitated but said, “You’ve got a little—”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead he leaned forward across the small space between them and swiped the frosting that was on the corner of her lips away with his thumb.

Nesta didn’t move.

She didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to stop touching her, either.

Cassian’s thumb lingered against her lips, and when she looked up, he was already watching her, quietly.

She opened her mouth to say something.

What? She wasn’t sure.

But, when her lips moved, Cassian’s did, too.

He kissed her, softly, slowly, and Nesta melted right into it.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 23}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was torn.

Half of her thought that Cassian was overreacting, but the other half of her thought that his anger and frustration was perfectly justified.

What exactly were they getting into? And, was it what was best for Nyx? Yeah, the last month had been great, but if it didn’t work out, what would that mean for him? Would it be better if she and Cassian had simply remained two friends, co-parenting under one roof?

Nesta’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She felt like she was going into a panic attack.

Cassian and Nyx had been gone for an hour, and every second that passed became more and more unbearable.

She needed him to be there.

She needed to figure this out.

She just didn’t know what the answer was.

Alis had gotten into her head, there was no doubt about that. A little over an hour ago, she was living in a dream, then Alis came in, out of nowhere, and brought her back to reality.

She was sitting on the couch, almost exactly where he’d left her, when he finally returned. He was covered in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to him. Nyx was having a conversation with him, more to himself though, since it didn’t seem like Cassian was even close to paying attention to him. But his eyes went directly to Nesta as soon as he walked in.

She’d changed. She no longer wore his t-shirt, instead in a loose shirt of her own and a pair of jeans, and her hair was loose and wet around her face. As if she’d need to shower their night together, shower him off of her. Not a shred of that beautiful skin was showing, not like she’d been doing lately. Leggings and shorts and tank tops. She’d been comfortable around him.

With a scoff, Cassian set Nyx down on the floor. He headed for the stairs, but Nesta stood, nearly toppling the cup of coffee she’d been clutching over as she set it on the coffee table. “Cassian, we need to talk about this.”

He paused, waving a hand towards her. “What for? It looks like you’ve already made your decision.”

“I need you to calm down,” she said, steadily. “I need you to think logically.”

Cassian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me.”

Nesta hesitated. “Tell you what?”

“If this is something you want to pursue or if I just wasted the last couple months falling in love with you,” he finished.

His voice may have lacked emotion, but Nesta felt every word like a stab in the chest. Falling in love with you. Those were the words she was going to tell him today, under much different circumstances.

Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Now, she was overwhelmed.

Now, all of her thoughts were rushing toward the same spot in the middle of her skull at a thousand miles an hour, and when they got there, her head would explode.

“It’s not that easy,” she said, and her voice cracked.

“But it should be,” Cassian said. “If you feel the way that I do, it should be that easy.”

“We have to think of Nyx,” she breathed.

“I am thinking of Nyx,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low. At the sound of his name, the baby turned to look at him. “I want him to grow up in a happy home, seeing two people who love each other, and damn it if that isn’t how it’s been for the past few weeks.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “What happens if we break up? What happens if we get in a fight or something happens to one of us? What then?”

He had strode down the stairs and was in front of her before he could stop himself. He framed her face in his hands, like he had so many times the past month, to kiss her, to make love to her, to show her how he cared for her. “Why are you worrying about the what if’s? Why are you worrying about what could go wrong, rather than how right everything has been?”

Because everything goes wrong eventually. The only reason we’re together is because we were shoved into this house after the worst thing imaginable happened. They died. We took over. What right do we have to be happy?

The words flooded her mind, but stilled on her tongue.

Nesta didn’t push him away. She wanted to reach up on her toes and kiss him, softly, but she didn’t.

Instead, she met his gaze. “Cass,” she breathed.

The pain in his eyes nearly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Nyx had walked up to them and was hugging Nesta’s leg, as if he knew that she needed the comfort.

“Dont say my name like that,” he whispered.

Nesta slowly shook her head. “I just think this has all happened too quickly. We haven’t been thinking, we’ve just been acting-.”

“You’re pushing me away,” Cassian interrupted, swallowing harshly. “Damn it, Nesta.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.

“Because you’re not making sense,” he argued. “Things have been perfect—”

“They’re dead!” She cried, pulling from his grip, scooping Nyx up. “Things have been far from perfect. We’re only like this now because Rhys and Feyre are dead.”

The words seemed to freeze something inside of Cassian and he stepped back as well. “So what? We go back to how we used to be? I’m back in the guest room and we awkwardly exchange good mornings over breakfast?”

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, the scent of him, everything. “I don’t know, Cassian, I don’t—.” She took a shuddering breath, her arms wrapping tighter around Nyx. “I just need some time to think, to breathe…”

When she looked back up at him, his jaw was set and he was slowly nodding. “Fine. Take your time.”

And then he was moving, back up the stairs before Nesta could even ask what he was doing.

A few minutes later, he was back with a duffle bag in his hands.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

“Giving you space,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Nesta opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was frozen where she stood, her feet stuck to the floor, her mouth hanging open, that panic rising from the pit of her stomach into her heart, which was beating far too quickly.

Cassian kissed Nyx on the forehead as he passed, but paid Nesta no mind as he went for the door.

“Cassian!” She called, at last.

Cassian stopped just in front of the door, keeping his back to her, one hand on the doorknob.

“You're just going to leave?” She asked, quietly, bouncing a sleepy Nyx on her hip. “Just like that?”

Cassian didn’t turn around. “Are you going to ask me to stay?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. Nesta said nothing.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he grumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone. “Maybe I need time to think, too.”

He opened the door and shut it softly behind him.

*

He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He knew where he wanted to be, but right now…

He couldn’t look at her.

It didn’t escape him that when he’d told her he’d fallen in love with her, she didn’t say it back. He couldn’t even act like he hadn’t seen her eyes flare in panic. So he couldn’t stay there. Couldn’t go back to sleeping in that guest room, not when he’d become so used to sleeping with her in his arms every night.

So Cassian had ended up here, knocking on his brother’s door, thankful that his car had been parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

He needed a drink. He needed someone to tell him he was being an asshole. He needed someone to listen while he vented and bitched. He knew Azriel would do all that for him.

When he answered the door, Seph was in his arms, pulling on his bottom lip. She smiled when she saw Cassian, but Azriel’s surprised smile quickly faded.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, looking at the duffel bag tossed over Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Azriel stared at him for a second before stepping aside and letting Cassian pass.

“Are we talking about this now or later?” Azriel asked, shutting the door behind them.

“Beer?” Cassian asked, dropping his bag beside the couch.

“Fridge,” Azriel said, slowly, watching him.

Cassian made his way to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle and chugging its contents.

Azriel followed, leaning against the countertop and Seph continued to play with his lips.

“Where’s Elain?” Cassian asked, tossing the empty bottle into the trash and getting another.

“Work,” Azriel said, sighing. “So, if this involves smack talking Nesta, you may want to get it out now.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do that, barely wanted to think about her. But he owed Azriel at least some explanation.

“The social worker stopped by this morning,” he sighed, leaning back against the counter and opening the beer. “And honestly, yeah, it was unexpected, but I figured it’d be fine. Last time, Nes was drunk off her ass, but we— I figured, since we were more of a family this time, things would be great.”

Azriel blinked. “They’re not taking Nyx, are they?”

Another shake of his head. “No, gods, no. They— She could tell he was in good hands, but she immediately picked up on Nesta and I. What we’ve…become.”

It seemed, just like Cassian, Azriel didn’t see it as a problem. He wasn’t following. “And?”

“And Nyx was hungry so I left the social worker and Nesta alone to get him breakfast. I came back and she’s gone and Nesta is second-guessing our relationship. She asked if I’m just fucking her out of convenience.”

The thought made him sick to his stomach, almost as badly as it hurt his heart.

“And you replied with…” Azriel began, trailing off, waiting for Cassian to finish the sentence.

“I went for a jog,” Cassian said, shrugging.

“So you ran away?” Azriel pushed.

Cassian shot him a look. “No. I went for a jog.”

Azriel sighed. “And when you came back?”

“She said she needed space,” Cassian said, emptying his bottle.

Azriel set Seph on the floor with a plastic spatula, which she instantly start banging on the cabinets. “And that’s when you ran away?”

“I didn’t run,” Cassian snapped. “I gave her what she wanted. I gave her space.”

Azriel slowly shook his head. “Did you even try to talk things out?”

“Yes,” Cassian said, the word clipped. “Told her I was falling in love with her, and guess how she replied?”

Azriel watched his brother.

“Didn’t say a fucking word,” Cassian finished.

When Azriel didn’t speak, he walked back to the trash can, dropping the bottle inside.

“Quit looking at me like I’m the bad guy here,” he said, unable to turn around and look his brother in the eye. “She was ending it. She was calling things off and I’m supposed to, what? Just keep living there like we were before? Pretend nothing has changed?” He swallowed hard, willing the damn tears clouding his vision to fade. They wouldn’t. “She didn’t even ask me to stay.”

Azriel sighed, opening a cabinet beside the fridge that Seph couldn’t reach. He produced a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter. “I can’t drink until Elain gets home. And I absolutely think you need to talk to Nesta, but I think you’re right. You need to stay here tonight. Give her space.”

Cassian blinked, and a tear that was holding on slid free, down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He felt ridiculous, but it had been a long time since he had told a woman that he loved her. He’d never said it in his adulthood. A couple times in his teens, before he knew what the word really meant, but never as an adult.

He’d said it.

He’d meant it.

And she hadn’t felt the same.

Cassian nodded and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

*

Nesta stared at Cassian’s contact on her phone screen.

She wanted to press the call button, but didn’t.

She did open a blank text a few times, but couldn’t type anything.

She didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do.

She knew what she wanted.

She wanted Cassian.

But, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

She had never been one who was dependent on a man, had spent most of her twenties single and having no problem with it. But suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her day to day life without Cassian in it. And that terrified her.

She heard murmuring on the baby monitor sitting next to her on the side table and glanced over to see Nyx sitting up in his crib.

It had been nearly three hours since Cassian left, and aside from putting Nyx down for a nap, Nesta had barely moved. She still sat in the same spot on the couch she’d been in when the social worker had shown up and when she’d ignored that Cassian had said that he loved her.

The words should have filled her with joy and she should have screamed from the rooftops that she loved him, too. Instead she locked up and thought she was going to be sick.

What was wrong with her?

Wiping away the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen, Nesta hurried up the stairs, and into Nyx’s nursery. He reached for her the moment he saw her, his own big, blue eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“What’s wrong, bubba?” She cooed, resting his head against her shoulder.

After a deep sigh, he looked up at her and reached for a tear that had fallen down her cheek. His lip began to wobble.

“I’m okay,” Nesta promised, even though her voice cracked and those tears continued. “I’m okay, buddy, I promise.”

Nyx knew, though.

He knew something wasn’t right.

He knew Cassian was gone.

He knew Nesta was heartbroken.

Little did he know that her heartbreak was self-inflicted.

Nyx laid his head back on her shoulder and clung to her. He stayed like that as she walked back downstairs and sat back in her spot on the couch.

He held onto her, looking around the room. She knew he was looking for him and was about to tell him he wasn’t here when he spoke. The word wasn’t a mash up of noises like it had always been. No, it was a true and steady word. His first word.

“Dada?”

Nesta froze. She didn’t even know what to say. Should she tell him Cassian wasn’t his father? He probably wouldn’t even understand, just like he didn’t understand where Rhys and Feyre had gone.

But…for all intents and purposes, Cassian was his daddy now. And she was his mama.

So she pressed a kiss to his dark hair and whispered. “He had to leave, baby. He had to go for a little while.”

Nesta hoped and prayed that Cassian would walk back through that door, and yet, she couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to.

That night, instead of Cassian taking up the spot next to her, it was Nyx, who held her hand until they both fell asleep.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 17}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

It had been a long day.

They hadn’t done jack shit, but a long day nonetheless, thanks to the run in with Tomas.

After eating lunch, Cassian had taken Nyx out to the pool, letting him float around in his little inner tube and splash in the water. He kept a close eye on him and he wasn’t sure he’d heard so many giggles from the little dude in months.

Not even fifteen minutes after they’d come out, Nesta decided to join them, though it wasn’t to play and splash like Nyx. No, she brought a book hat, and tanning oil, but Nyx squealed his delight when he saw her regardless.

After some goading and thinly veiled threats to splash her smutty book if she didn’t get in, Nesta relented and Nyx had the time of his life.

Until he got chlorine in his eye and had a meltdown.

Just like that, pool time was over, and after taking him inside and getting changed, Cassian was lounging on the couch while Nyx played on the floor.

Nesta started up the stairs and said, “I think I’m going to take a bath. Relax from…earlier.”

From that piece of shit Tomas and the things he’d said. Cassian wished he’d of at least said something, but he most wished he’d have throttled him.

Cassian simply nodded and Nesta was off, hurrying up the stairs and shimmying out of her bikini once she closed herself inside of the master bathroom.

She hadn’t been in the warm water with her eyes closed for five minutes before a horrid sound came from downstairs.

One word screamed at the top of Cassian’s lungs, her name.

“NESTA!”

For a moment, she thought she had imagined it. But, then he screamed again.

“NESTA!”

She shot up in the tub and was about to yell back, when she heard, “COME QUICK!”

Panic rose in the pit of her stomach as she jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her wet body as she threw open the bathroom door. “I’m coming! I’m coming! What happened?! What’s wrong?!”

“Come on, come on, come on!” Cassian yelled, but it wasn’t fear in his voice - only excitement. “Hurry, before you miss him!”

Nesta rounded the top of the stairs, and froze. A few feet in front of Cassian, on his own two feet, was Nyx, taking slow, steady steps toward his uncle.

Her feet carried her down the stairs in a flash and she was next to Cassian, on her knees, just like he was. At the appearance of his aunt, he grinned, those angelic cheeks rounding out and reached for her.

And he tumbled down.

“Shit,” Cassian muttered and lifted him back onto his unsteady feet, praying they weren’t about to have more tears. But the dark blue eyes that gazed up at him were not tear-filled, just wide and curious as always.

Taking a few more tentative steps, he reached them, leaning into Cassian, but a hand reaching out to take Nesta’s as he animatedly spoke in his own baby language.

“Good job, bubba,” Nesta cried, hoisting him up into her arms and crushing him in a hug. “Such a big boy.”

Nyx giggled and wiggled to be put down.

He wasn’t done just yet.

His feet hit the ground and he was off. He walked from Nesta to Cassian then back again. Every time he fell down, he got right back up and kept on moving.

“Look at you go, buddy,” Cassian laughed, catching Nyx as he made it to him.

“Think he’ll sleep good tonight?” Nesta asked, watching them both with a smile on her face.

“I hope so,” he chuckled, letting Nyx pat him on the face, grinning up at him.

He meandered back across the room, plopping down at his toys and began playing again.

“And I guess we’re done with that,” he laughed, standing up and shaking his head. “He finally walked.”

“Sixteen months,” she sighed, propping a hip on the side of the couch. “I was starting to think he’d never do it.”

“Me either,” he said, sitting down. He glanced up at her—and froze.

He’d completely forgotten she was wearing nothing but a towel.

“Didn’t we have a rule about coming down here nude?” Cassian asked, under his breath.

Nesta’s eyes darted to his. “Pardon?”

His eyebrows raised and he gestured to her towel, and Nesta looked down, as if she had completely forgotten that she was wearing it, too. “Oh, shit, sorry. I was in such a hurry to come downstairs-.”

“I mean, I don’t blame you-.”

“I could’ve put on something-.”

“I was screaming your name-.”

“Screaming my name,” Nesta repeated, her cheeks heating. Last time Cassian had screamed her name, it had been under very, very different context.

Although, she had been wearing little to nothing then, too.

The memories flashed through her mind, and from the way Cassian was watching her, she assumed that they were flashing through his, too.

She watched as his throat bobbed and his eyes left hers, dragging down her body as if he couldn’t stop himself. He met her gaze again and she felt her cheeks heating. Her cheeks, her ears, her neck, her entire body heated under that gaze.

“I’m going to…” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, towards the stairs. “Finish my bath, I guess.”

“Right,” Cassian replied, his eyes still on her. “I’ll put him down in just a few minutes.”

She glanced over at the baby as she backed up toward the stairs. Nyx was indeed starting to rub his eyes, and noticing Nesta’s attention on him, he yawned and reached for her.

Before she could cross the room, Cassian was on his feet and picking Nyx up.

“I can take him,” she protested, but he shook his head, not looking at her.

“You go relax. I’ve got him.”

Nesta cleared her throat and nodded, convincing herself to say nothing more as she hurried up the stairs, clinging to her towel.

She settled back into the bath, even though the water had chilled.

She couldn’t control her breathing.

She thought of that time when he’d caught her in the bath before, right after they had moved in, when he caught her doing intimate things with herself, alone.

Then she thought of the immense amount of pleasure that he’d given her, and how nothing and no one had ever compared to it.

Her heart began to beat a little bit faster, and a throbbing formed between her thighs.

She wondered if Cassian ever caught himself thinking about it, if he ever wanted to do it again.

Judging by the look in his eyes downstairs, the intense way he had been watching her…

Nesta pulled herself out of the tub.

She dressed and pulled her hair into a ponytail atop her head, but couldn’t decide if going downstairs would be a good or bad idea. She couldn’t decide if being around him right now was a smart decision, not when the thoughts in her head were so distracting she couldn’t even focus on the laundry she had neglected to fold for a few days.

Her phone vibrated where she’d plugged it in on her nightstand and Balthazar’s name lit up the screen.

That was another reason she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the thoughts constantly running through her head. She and Bal weren’t in a relationship, they were in no way exclusive and hadn’t had that conversation, but Nesta wasn’t the type to date—or in this case, sleep with—two men at once.

She could hear Cassian down in the living room again, no doubt cleaning up Nyx’s toys and settling down with a beer. She wanted to join him, wanted to curl up on the other side if the couch with a glass of wine and listen to him commentate whatever stupid show or game he was watching.

But she knew that wasn’t a good idea.

So she laid down on her bed, grabbed the book from her nightstand, and read until all of those emotions that Cassian made her feel faded into the back of her mind where she told them to stay.

*

The next morning, Cassian was on Nyx duty. Since he had the day off, the nanny didn’t have to come, which meant bro time.

First, they went for a jog along the Sidra where both Nyx and Cassian got their fair share of looks from the ladies. Turns out a cute kid was a great way to gain the attention of beautiful women.

On the way back home, Cassian decided to make a detour for some lunch, and ended up pushing the jogging stroller right into Nesta’s restaurant.

He knew where it was, and knew that Nesta was a damn good cook, but somehow, he hadn’t visited the restaurant in the over four months they’d been living together.

It was packed, to absolutely no surprise and when he walked in, he was greeted by an amazing array of delicious smells. Quickly realizing the stroller was going to be a hindrance, he parked it in the corner by the door and held Nyx as he made his way into one of the sitting areas.

“It’s open seating, so please, sit where you like.”

Cassian turned as a deep voice spoke from behind him. The man was watching him, and when he turned, his eyes fell on Nyx. Recognition lit them up for a moment, Nesta having brought Nyx into the restaurant more than once.

“Thanks. Is Nesta free?”

“Last I saw, she was helping out in the kitchen, but I’ll check. Take a seat and I’ll be back.”

Cassian nodded and the man was gone, disappearing through a swinging door to the back.

Indeed, Nesta was manning the grill, an assortment of sandwiches, meats, pancakes and other items sizzling around her. She was reading order tickets and communicating with her line cooks, and everything was exactly as it should be.

Until Helion was leaning on the wall next to her.

She groaned. “Tell me it’s not the lady who claims to find a hair in her food every time she’s here.”

The patron in question was in the dining room, a brunch buffet spread out before her and her friends. Her curly, red hair was piled on top of her head and without fail, she always seemed to find a lone, red, curling hair in her dishes, no matter what she ate and who was in the kitchen. Even though Nesta had no one in her employment with curly, red hair.

“Oh, no,” Helion said, his smirk growing. “There’s a handsome man out front asking for you.”

Balthazar.

Nesta groaned. Even though she didn’t mean to. “Let him know I’m busy, but I’ll be out in just a minute.”

“It’s not him,” he replied, practically singing the words. “This one has a very cute baby with him.”

She was moving before he’d finished speaking, hollering at one of her cooks to take up her place on the line.

When she went into the dining room, Cassian was sitting in a booth, Nyx in a high chair at the end of the table next to him.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Nesta crooned as she approached.

Nyx’s head whipped around at the familiar voice as Cassian looked up from his menu. Nesta was lifting Nyx out of the high chair when Cassian said, “We were out and about. Someone was hungry.”

Nesta chuckled. “Was that someone you or the baby?”

“Fine,” Cassian said, grinning. “Two someones were hungry.”

Nesta snorted as she kissed Nyx’s cheek. “Couldn't have cleaned up before coming in here?” She asked, nodding to Cassian’s damp t-shirt.

He shrugged his shoulder. “This was on the way home. You should be glad we graced you with our presence.”

“Right,” she laughed softly, sitting Nyx back in the high chair and buckling him in. “Any idea what you want?”

He was flipping through the menu, and honestly, every damn thing he saw looked delicious. He smiled up at her. “Surprise us. I can’t choose.”

Smirking, she took his menu and said, “Chicken livers and brussel sprouts, coming right up.”

He rolled his eyes as she walked away, but she entered their order into the system and returned to the table, sitting down in the empty booth seat across from him.

“He have a good morning?” She asked, holding Nyx’s outstretched hand and letting him grip her thumb. He shook her hand as hard as he could and grinned up at her, babbling excitedly.

“Aside from the blow out he had this morning, I’d say so. Which he found very amusing that I had to clean up” Cassian chuckled, rolling his eyes. “This is the only kid who laughs while he’s covered in shit, I swear.”

Nesta shook her head, laughing softly.

Cassian took the chance to look around. “This place is great, Nes. The only thing it’s missing is a bar.”

Nesta looked around with him and nodded. “I’ve thought about it quite a bit. Don’t wanna mess with licensing. I’ve already got too much on my plate around here.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “You just gotta get someone to run the bar, that’s all. You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know.”

Nesta looked back to Cassian. “Someone like you?”

“Handsome, smart, with a high knowledge of what it takes to run a bar?” He asked. “Yeah, someone like me.”

She narrowed her eyes and nudged his shin with the toe of her shoe. “Don’t get too cocky. If you decide to leave your bar and want a new project… Sure, I’ll add a bar.”

Cassian blinked. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not.”

Nesta shook her head. “I’m always serious.”

“At one time, I thought that was true,” Cassian muttered.

His shin got another nudge.

“I’m serious,” she repeated, with a quiet laugh. “Shockingly enough, you’d be one of the few people I trust to let into my management.”

He stayed quiet for a minute, long enough that she glanced at him from where she’d been looking at Nyx. He was chewing on his bottom lip and she had to physically restrain herself from reaching over and working it out from between his teeth. Feeling her attention on him, he looked at her, and said, “We’ll talk about it more at home, yeah?”

Nodding, Nesta replied, “Of course. But don’t just do it because I said something, I don’t want-.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about opening my own place for while,” he murmured, and then quickly added, “Not that this would be my place, it’s yours, of course. But I’ve got savings. I can help with any applications and licensing and renovations that need to be done. Not to mention, it would be an investment in a growing business. That always looks good in a portfolio.”

Nesta smiled. “Like you said, we’ll talk about it at home. I’m gonna go check on your food.”

“Please do,” Cassian said, waving her away. “I’m starving.”

With a roll of her eyes, she stood up and walked toward the kitchen, shoving Cassian’s sweaty head as she walked by him.

Helion was waiting by the kitchen doors. “Flirting, how cute. It’s like watching two horny teenagers.”

“Fuck off,” Nesta muttered.

Helion only grinned and followed her into the kitchen. “Admit it. You’ve got the hots for hot uncle.”

“I can fire you, you know,” Nesta said.

“You wouldn’t,” he said, right on her heels. “You’d be bored to death here without me.”

She didn’t need to bother telling him he was right. On either front.

*

Nesta was beat by the time she got off. It was an effort of will to make it home before she fell asleep, but as she parked her car in the driveway, she nearly sighed in relief. Cassian had said he’d handle dinner, so she knew that a glass of wine—and hopefully, an uninterrupted bath—was in her future.

She hadn’t expected to find Cassian on his hands and knees as soon as she came in the door.

He looked up at her, eyes wide and said, “Uh, hey. You’re home.”

“I am,” she replied, chuckling. “What are you doing?”

He hesitated before saying, “Playing hide and seek with Nyx.”

Nesta blinked. “Hide and-? Cassian, he’s one.”

“I left him on the floor with his toys and I went into the kitchen for thirty seconds to check on dinner,” he said, standing up.

She waited for him to go on, not understanding. And then her eyes widened. “You lost him?”

“He’s not lost,” he said, holding his hands up. “We’re playing hide and seek.”

“Cassian-.”

“He’s one, Nesta, he couldn’t have gone far-.”

“He walks now!” She cried, tossing her purse on the bench by the door and hurrying into the living room.

A giggle sounded from the other room, and they both sped around the corner where Nyx had made himself perfectly happy.

In the laundry room, Nyx sat in a pile of Nesta’s laundry, waving her underwear in the air.

As Nesta let out a relieved breath, Cassian chuckled. “Atta boy.”

Nesta whacked Cassian on the shoulder before picking Nyx up and freeing her panties from his grasp.

He immediately started crying.

“Way to take his toy away,” Cassian muttered.

Nesta shot him a look.

Cassian shrugged. “I would’ve cried, too.”

Nesta tried her best not to laugh, but failed. “You’re ridiculous.”

Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but the smoke alarm near the kitchen began to blare.

Nyx’s cries got louder and Nesta stopped Cassian, giving Nyx to him and hurried into the kitchen, pulling a pan of burnt French fries out of the oven and opened the back door and the door leading to the garage. She got a kitchen towel and was waving the smoky air away from the smoke alarm, and after a minute or two, the incessant blaring ceased.

Leaning back against the counter, she took a deep breath and looked at the doorway, finding Cassian standing there, Nyx still in his arms, though the tears had stopped. He was cringing, expecting her to start yelling any moment—.

But Nesta took one look at the charred French fries and started laughing. Deep, belly laughs that made her stomach hurt so badly she doubled over.

Cassian turned to the living room, getting Nyx set up in his playpen, and walked back into the kitchen, where Nesta was still laughing with her hands on her knees, trying to get air down.

“You find something funny, Archeron?” He asked, pausing in front of her. Even he was unable to stop the small smile on his face.

“French fries?” she asked, unable to catch her breath. “You— You burnt frozen french fries? How long have they been in there? Two hours?”

Cassian looked behind him at the clock on the stove and rubbed the back of his neck. “I like them crispy.”

“Oh, they’re crispy,” Nesta promised, straightening her back, small bouts of laughter still finding their way out. “They’re really damn crispy.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, shaking his head. He pulled a series of paper towels off the stovetop and revealed a tray of chicken nuggets and a pot of cooked broccoli. “At least I didn’t burn everything.”

“Chicken nuggets and broccoli?” she asked, her grin still wide. “Kids barely old enough to eat solids and we’re already having kid dinners?”

“Kid dinners?” Cassian repeated. “You’re lying your ass off if you’re telling me that you don’t enjoy a big ass plate of chicken nuggets.”

Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “They’re dinosaur shaped!”

“The dino ones taste better!” Cassian protested.

“We’ll see about that,” Nesta said, and just as she looked up at Cassian, she realized how close he’d stopped from her.

He couldn’t have been more than a foot away, but he felt much closer.

Nesta’s laughter died down, although that light feeling in the pit of her stomach remained.

One of his hands was braced on the counter she leaned on, and though he wasn’t caging her in, she couldn’t help but stare up at him.

“At least it’s not breakfast again,” she murmured, noting the way he was staring at her, too.

“You’ve never complained about my breakfast,” he said, swallowing roughly.

She tracked the way his Adam’s Apple bobbed. “Well, you’ve never burnt it, so.”

The corner of his mouth twitched and she knew he was trying his hardest not to smile. He opened his mouth to reply, but Nyx started talking from the other room, babbling and nonsense and baby language reaching them.

Cassian seemed to realize how close he stood to her and backed up a step, clearing his throat. “If you want to grab him, I’ll put some fresh fries in the oven.”

Nodding, Nesta said, “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m making them crispy, though,” he said, as she left.

Nesta snorted as she shook her head and lifted Nyx out of his pack n play. “Your uncle is nuts. Yes, he is.”

Nyx’s grin melted Nesta’s heart.

Forty minutes later, once the french fries were sufficiently crispy, the three of them were sitting at the table, eating dinner. Nesta didn’t mind it, not one bit, the fact that they sat there every night and ate together.

It was almost as if they were a family.

An odd, dysfunctional, interestingly beautiful family.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

*

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. ��I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

*

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

*

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 26}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta awoke with a pounding headache and the need to vomit, even though she was fully aware her stomach was completely emptied out. She began to shift on the mattress, but froze when she realized that a heavy arm was draped across her waist.

Behind her, Cassian was sleeping soundly, spooned up against her.

Stay.

She remembered asking that of him the night before, remembered everything from the night before.

She had been drunk, horribly drunk.

They had fought.

She had tried to sleep with him.

She had vomited all over the kitchen.

He had cleaned it up.

He had cleaned her up.

He had carried her to bed.

He had stayed.

She hadn’t deserved for him to stay.

Carefully and slowly, Nesta took Cassian’s hand and removed it from her body before dragging herself quietly out of the bed and sneaking out of the room.

She had been so fucking irresponsible the night before, shouldn’t have ever tried to drive here, yet here she was. No wonder Cassian had been so pissed.

She planned on getting a quick cup of coffee to settle her stomach and sneaking out, but as she found Elain in the kitchen, she knew that was no longer possible.

Her sister, never one for anger, raised an eyebrow. “You owe me for my landscaping.”

Nesta cringed and dropped into a seat at the end of the table. Her head fell into her hands with a smack. “I know, I’m sorry.”

A cup of coffee appeared in front of her and Nesta did nothing but breathe in the life-changing scent for a minute, her forehead still pressed into her hand.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Elain said, leaning against the counter. “I love having you here. But as far as I knew, Cassian was staying here because you were at the house. Imagine my surprise when I find both of your vehicles in my driveway this morning.”

Nesta cringed, yet again.

“And the bush by my mailbox flattened,” Elain added, sipping from her steaming mug.

Nesta groaned, her head falling against the tabletop. “I fucked up, I get it.” There was no malice in her voice, only exhaustion.

The chair across from her was pulled out and Elain sat down with a sigh. “You know I’m not letting you leave until we talk about this, right?”

Nesta huffed. “Talk about what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Elain sighed. “The fact that you showed up at my house at midnight, drunker than you’ve been since college, to fight with Cassian?”

Nesta looked up at her.

“At least, that’s my husband’s version,” Elain said, watching her sister. “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

Nesta leaned back in her chair and shook her head, slowly. She fiddled with the fabric around her thighs, only now realizing that she was in Cassian’s shirt.

He had taken her dirty dress off and replaced it with something clean, something of his.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Nesta said, simply.

“How about promising me you’ll never be stupid enough to get behind the wheel while drunk again?” Elain asked, a slight edge to her voice. “The last thing I need is you getting in an-.”

Her words dropped off and she shook her head, sipping from her mug to avoid the word that Nesta knew was meant to come next.

Accident.

A newfound guilt flooded Nesta’s stomach. She felt like she was going to puke all over again. How could she do that, after all that had happened? After what had happened to Feyre and Rhysand?

“I fucked up,” she said, again, and leaned across the table to take Elain’s hand. “I was drunk, I made a poor decision in the heat of the moment because I was pissed, and I was irresponsible. I know that, and trust me, I am full of regret and feel like a fucking idiot this morning. I promise, Lainy, that I’ll never make that mistake again.”

Elain looked at her for a moment before her eyes softened and she nodded. “Good. I believe you. Now, care to tell me why you made such a dumbass decision to begin with?”

Dumbass. Elain rarely swore.

“Cassian and I had sex in the store room last night,” she sighed, not looking at Elain.

“You what?” Her voice raised an octave.

“Shh,” she said, glancing around her to the living room beyond. “I don’t know how exactly it happened, but it did. I went in there for some air, he followed me, and we got into it. Next thing I know, my back is against the far wall, he’s buried inside of me, and I’m halfway to an earth shattering orgasm.”

Elain had stilled, her mug midway to her lips as she stared at her sister. She repeated, “You what?”

“I don’t need a lecture if that’s what you’re building up to,” Nesta snapped.

Elain sighed, setting her mug down on the table. “It’s either a lecture or silence.”

Nesta just shook her head.

“Nesta, that man is madly in love with you,” Elain said, lecturing, anyway. Nesta stared at the table. “And you love him, too. This…unhealthy need to push everything and everyone away that makes you happy is going to make you nothing but miserable in the end and, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you be miserable.”

Nesta shook her head. “Feyre wouldn’t want—.”

“No,” Elain interrupted, her voice going harder than Nesta typically heard it. “Feyre would want you to be happy. She’s gone, Nesta.” Her eyes lined with tears as she reached across the table and took Nesta’s hands. “She’s gone, and yes, maybe that’s the only reason that you and Cassian ended up together, but you know what? Maybe it’s not. Maybe you and Cass would’ve ended up together at another time, another place, but you didn’t. This is how it happened. And Feyre, wherever she is, is so damn happy that you two are happy. She wanted you two to be together five years ago, and she wants you to be together now, if he’s who makes you happy. You can’t feel guilty, Nesta. Your happiness does not deserve guilt.”

Nesta said nothing, didn’t bother wiping the tear that fell down her cheek.

“You love him,” Elain said, and it wasn’t a question.

Which meant that Nesta didn’t answer.

“He cleaned up your puke and carried you to bed after you treated him like garbage,” Elain said, her voice lightening. “Men like that don’t just come around, Nes.”

A door opened and closed from the back of the house and Elain picked up her coffee, standing.

“Where are you going?” Nesta whispered, her eyes going wide.

“You need to talk to him,” Elain said, heading for the living room. She didn’t say another word to her sister, but she heard her start up the stairs. “Good morning, Cass. And good morning to you, sweet boy.”

She didn’t hear a response from either of them, so she assumed Nyx was still dozing on Cassian’s shoulder, but Elain’s soft footsteps retreated up the stairs.

“Morning.”

She turned to find Cassian leaning against the doorway. Nyx, indeed, was still near sleeping where he had his head resting against Cassian, holding onto his shirt.

Clutching her coffee cup, Nesta breathed, “Good morning.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, walking to the fridge and opening the door, pulling out a jug of orange juice.

“Honestly?” she muttered. “Shitty.”

Cassian snorted. “I’d say so.”

Silence ensued, and Cassian kissed Nyx’s forehead as he handed him to Nesta. “I’ll get him some breakfast.”

Nesta nodded, taking the sleepy baby and letting his head fall against her chest.

Cassian got oatmeal out of the pantry and mixed it with some milk before cutting strawberries into small squares. The entire time, Nesta watched him. The entire time, Cassian didn’t say a thing.

She could see the way his back muscles flexed through his old, white t-shirt.

It made her weak in the knees.

“Dada,” Nyx said, arm outstretched to Cassian.

“Almost ready, buddy,” he promised.

As Cassian walked toward the table, Nesta put Nyx in the highchair. She’d move him once Seph was awake and ready to eat. She had a feeling Nyx would be finished long before that, though, because the second Cassian sat the bowl on the tray, Nyx’s hands were covered in oatmeal.

Cassian chuckled and retreated back away from the table.

Nesta cleared her throat. “Cass?”

“Hmmm?”

“I-,” she hesitated, and sighed. “Thank you. For last night. I’m… I’m sorry, I was completely out of line-.”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“It’s not fine.” He still hadn’t turned back to look at her. “It’s not, at all. What I did last night was stupid and irresponsible and selfish. And you took care of me and I didn’t deserve it. So… Thank you and I’m sorry.”

He was quiet for another minute, pouring a cup of coffee alongside his juice. “You’re welcome. Like I said, it’s fine. It happened, you recognize it was a dumbass decision to make. Just don’t make it again.”

She nodded, though he still couldn’t see her, since he still had his back to her.

Nesta asked, “Can we… Can we talk about last night?”

“I don’t know what there is to talk about, Nes,” he sighed, finally turning to look at her. He leaned back against the counter. “Before or after you showed up drunk?”

“Both,” she stood up and crossed the kitchen toward him. She suddenly remembered she was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. “Like I said, I was way out of line.”

Cassian watched her for a moment before letting out a breath, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah, well… The store room was just as much me as it was you, so don’t apologize for that one.”

Nesta nodded, and looked over at Nyx, stuffing his face. “Do you regret it?”

A beat passed. “The store room?”

She nodded.

Cassian drank from his glass. “Do you?”

I asked you first, she wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead, she said, “It was unprofessional.”

“That’s not an answer,” he said.

“Neither is refusing to answer the question at all,” Nesta pointed out.

Cassian snorted. “Fair.”

They fell into silence, yet again, the only sounds coming from Nyx and his excitement about food.

“Is that all you have to say this morning?” Cassian asked, and she knew he was looking at her, so her eyes remained on the floor.

“I apologized,” she said. “I thanked you. What else is there to say?”

Cassian nodded, apparently that was answer enough for him. “Alright, well, Viv is planning on meeting you and Nyx back at the house at noon. I’ll see you at work.”

He turned his back to her and started walking out of the kitchen.

“Wait,” Nesta breathed, making her way toward him. “There is one more thing I’d like to say, like to ask.”

Cassian stopped and slowly turned to face her.

It was all too familiar. Him, in his sweatpants and old tee. Her, in his shirt, after a night spent cuddled up together.

Even if the night before had been under completely different circumstances.

She cleared her throat. “I think you should come back home, Cass.”

He searched her eyes, searched for the underlying meaning. “Why?”

“Because Nyx misses you,” Nesta said, without missing a beat. “He misses seeing you everyday.”

“Is he the only one?” Cassian asked, taking a step toward her.

“Cassian,” she breathed, shaking her head.

He nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath. “That’s what I thought.”

He turned around, but Nesta reached out for him. “Cassian, please, just come back-.”

“I can’t,” he said, quietly. “I can’t be there, every day, seeing you, and not being able to do something as simple as give you a hug, Nes. I can’t be there and pretend like things are fine, and that I’m not completely miserable. I can’t. I can’t do that. I’m not ready for that.”

The brush of her fingers against his arm felt like a brand and it took everything in him not to rip it from her grasp.

“I’m going to get ready,” he said, as calmly as he could. “I’ll see you at work. Viv will be there at noon to watch him.”

Her fingers fell away as he stepped out of reach and walked back through the living room and down the hall. As always, he never slammed the door. He never let his anger get the best of him. She heard it shut with a soft click.

“Mama?”

Nesta whirled, her eyes falling on Nyx. He was a sticky mess, oatmeal and smashed strawberries all over his hands and cheeks, but he was looking right at her. “Mama,” he repeated, holding out the empty bowl for her. As if he was saying, all done.

She gave him the best smile she could muster, before crossing the room and taking the bowl from him. “Thank you, sweet boy.”

A few minutes later, she’d left the bowl soaking in the sink, had wiped him down as best she could and had nabbed a pair of leggings from Elain’s clean laundry. She didn’t want to have to interrupt Cassian to ask about her dirty dress.

Without another word to anyone, she packed Nyx up in the car and was gone, heading for home. A few minutes later, she pulled in the driveway, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that something was missing.

Without that stupid truck parked next to her car, it didn’t feel quite like home. Going inside and not finding a game on the TV, or the smell of bacon cooking this early, it didn’t feel like home.

Without Cassian there, nothing did.

And she knew she was the only one to blame.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Three}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta sat across the kitchen table in Azriel and Elain’s kitchen, looking at her sister.

“I mean, I just don’t get it,” Nesta continued, shaking her head. “Me and Cassian… Why didn’t they choose you and Azriel? You’ve been together forever and want a big family.”

“You’re second guessing taking care of Nyx?” Elain asked, with no judgement, just curiosity.

“No, of course not,” Nesta began, sighing. “It’s just… Me and Cassian?”

“They did try to set you two up all those years ago,” Elain said, propping an elbow on the table and dropping her chin in her hand.

Nesta raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “And how well did that work out?”

Elain rolled her eyes, but sighed. “Feyre was right though,” she said, looking at the letter from Rhys and Feyre, laying face down on the table. Nesta had brought it over for Elain to read, which had just made them both start crying over again. “You have the fiercest heart. Nyx needs you in his life.”

She blinked away the tears lining her eyes again. Silently, she wondered when she’d be able to think about her sister, about Rhys again, without dissolving into tears. She knew it would be a long while.

Finally, she said, “I know he does. I just don’t understand why Cassian has to be involved. That’s not going to be a healthy environment for him to grow up in.”

She could already see it, she and Cassian at each other’s throats. He knew how to get under her skin, loved to do it, did it as often as he could. It would be all Nyx saw as he grew up, his guardians screaming at each other.

“He needs to be somewhere happy and loving and peaceful. Like here, Lainy. He’d flourish here, with you and Az and Seph.”

Elain gave her sister a long, wistful look. Her eyes were soft and misty when she said, “We’re just learning to take care of one, Nes. I can’t… We can’t take on another infant. And, besides, it wasn’t what Feyre and Rhys wanted.”

“They probably wrote that the second they got engaged,” Nesta said, knowing that wasn’t true. “They didn’t know what they wanted.” Elain glanced at the open letter that sat on the table between them. “I read it. They knew exactly what they wanted for Nyx in case something happened to them, and I think that they were right. Just because you and Cassian can’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not a good idea.”

“The lawyer will disagree with that,” Nesta muttered, remembering Tarquin’s words from their meeting. I tried to advise them against this. She shivered. “The thought of living with Cassian and playing house has me nauseous. And pissed off. So pissed off that I’m nauseous.”

Elain sighed again. “He really is a-.”

“A good guy,” Nesta interrupted, letting her head fall into her hands. Her fingers tugged in the roots slightly. “I know. You keep telling me that. Feyre always told me that. Everyone keeps telling me that. But the two of us?” She looked up at Elain, letting her see into those eyes that matched Feyre’s perfectly, letting her see the slight panic in them, letting her see everything. “We aren’t compatible. Everything about him, it throws me off.”

A cry from down the hall had both of the women standing, but when Nesta realized it was Nyx, she hurried out of the kitchen. In a flash, she was in the spare room, crossing to the small crib Elain and Az had set up for Feyre and Rhys when they found out they were pregnant.

Nyx’s blue eyes were wide and he let out another tortured wail and Nesta tried to soothe him before he was even in her arms. “It’s okay, bubba,” she cooed, holding him against her chest. He kept crying, though the volume of his screams lessened. Instead they were more akin to what Nesta would have almost called sobs.

“It’s been a long day,” she breathed. “I think we should go home, yeah?”

She gathered his diaper bag from where it laid on the bed and when she entered the living room, Elain was sitting on the couch, reading over the letter again. Quiet tears slid down her cheeks.

“I’m gonna get him home,” Nesta said, softly. She repeated, “It’s… It’s been a long day.”

Nodding, Elain folded the letter back up and wiped at the tears on her face with the back of her hand. “Right.” She held the letter out to Nesta, who took it, careful not to jostle Nyx who had finally quieted down, though Nesta could tell he was still awake.

His little hand was pressed to the side of her neck, and she could feel it moving gently.

“Call me if you need anything,” Elain said, carefully hugging her and pressing a kiss to the top of Nyx’s head. “Az and I will help you move what you need to into the house, so don’t hesitate to ask.”

Nesta could only nod, still unsure of how she was going to do this, how she was going to live her life, while also taking care of the far more precious one in her arms. She silently left, driving home and getting Nyx inside and settled, letting him sit in the Bumbo seat she’d found in the kitchen atop the counter while she cooked dinner.

After putting him down for bed, Nesta found herself sitting on the balcony off of Rhys and Feyre’s old bedroom. She looked out into the small wood that made up their backyard, over the pool and chairs that had been set up for the approaching summer, but her eyes were drawn up to the stars that Velaris was famous for.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered, not sure if she was admitting it to herself or to Rhys and Feyre, listening to her wherever they were. “I’m so scared I’ll do something wrong.”

The sounds of crickets and other manner of nighttime creatures were the only reply she received.

“I know you believed in me, in us, but I don’t. I want to make you both proud but I don’t know if I can do that. I just need something to tell me that I’m not making a huge mistake and-.

She softly gasped as a shooting star went blazing across the sky, a second one following it right after.

Her lip trembled as she nodded up at the night sky, understanding, knowing who had sent those stars. She almost felt like she could feel them there, as if they were telling her that it would be hard, but she could do it.

And she… she didn’t have to do it alone.

*

Cassian wasn’t at Az and Elain’s for thirty seconds before he crossed to the mini-fridge Azriel kept stocked in the garage.

“There’s no way they thought this was a good idea,” he said, pacing around, Azriel silently watching him. “It’s a sick joke, just like all of this is. There’s another letter somewhere that says just kidding, wouldn’t that be funny though?”

He cracked open the beer and drank it all in one go.

“I mean, Rhys and I always messed around and shit, but…this is too far,” he went on, tossing the can in the garbage and reaching for another one.

Azriel crossed his arms as he said, “Too many of those and you may think it’s funny, too.”

Cassian shot him a look as he drank from his can. “This isn’t funny. None of this is funny.”

Azriel took a deep breath before saying, “Did you stop to think that maybe they knew exactly what they were doing?”

Cassian said nothing as he propped himself on a stool and shook his head. Azriel didn’t push him. Eventually, Cassian said, quietly, “I want to help Rhys. I want to be the man that he thought I was. I mean, shit, he left me in charge of his child. And I would die for that child. But, Nesta was right, you know? I have no idea how to take care of a kid, especially one as young as Nyx.”

“You think I did, when Seph came along?” He asked, leaning back against the workbench. Cassian was as comfortable in this garage as he was his own, had created just as many beautiful things here as he had in his own cramped space. But he focused on Azriel’s words, sighed as he listened to his brother.

“I was scared shitless, but that didn’t mean a thing to her, or to Elain,” he went on. “Because they both needed me. They needed me to get my shit together and figure it out, and that’s exactly what I did.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, he just looked down at his feet, at his dirty work boots and silently drank from the can in his hands.

Azriel crossed the garage and pulled out a beer of his own, cracking it open and taking a drink. “So read the books, do the research, go online, do whatever you have to do, but Cassian, listen to me.”

His brother rarely used his full name, so he looked up at him, nor expecting to find the tenderness on his face or the silver lining his eyes.

“If you think for one second that Rhys and Feyre didn’t know what they were doing, you’re wrong. No one loves that little boy as much as you do. Yeah, you’re probably going to fuck up once or twice, but it’s okay.” Azriel placed a hand on his shoulder. “It happens and as long as you learn from it, that’s all that matters.”

Cassian wiped at his eye with the back of his hands. “I’m fucking scared, man.”

“I know you are,” Az replied, his voice dropping, almost gentle. “Not to mention we’re all still hurting. But you and Nesta are going to be fine, Nyx is going to be fine.”

Cassian clamped his eyes shut. He groaned. “It wouldn’t be so bad, I know I can learn to take care of Nyx, but Nesta? They expect me to live with Nesta?”

Azriel actually hesitated. “Yeah, that sucks.”

Cassian, despite himself, laughed quietly. “Yeah.”

“But, believe it or not, I think she’d be good for you,” Azriel said, keeping that quiet tone.

“Now you’re trying to set us up?” Cassian asked, wiping at his eyes and the tears that had nearly fallen.

Azriel shook his head. “No. But, Nesta Archeron gets shit done. And she loves Nyx, too. The two of you together….different parenting styles? Yeah. But, you’d be surprised at how well two opposites balance each other out when it comes to parenting.”

Cassian thought of Azriel and Elain. They were both gentle and kind, but they were pretty opposite, too.

“And if it’s a complete failure?” Cassian asked.

Azriel sighed as he watched Cassian. At last, he said, “It won’t be.”

Cassian wanted to believe him, wanting to feel confident in the words Azriel said, but even his third beer hadn’t lifted his confidence.

He let his head fall back, staring up at the ceiling, at the garage door that was raised to allow the cool, night breeze in. “I have to live with Nesta Archeron. The Mother thinks she’s funny. The Cauldron is laughing at me. Fate is rubbing its hands together and laughing maniacally.”

“No,” Az chuckled. “I think that might be Rhys.”

Cassian snorted, but the door to the house opened and Elain stuck her head out. She smiled softly at Cassian, who raised his drink in greeting. “I thought I heard you out here. You gonna stay for dinner?”

His alternative was grabbing something from a drive through or searching through his fridge for something that wasn’t completely freezer burned, so he smiled and said, “Sure, Lainy. Thanks.”

She beamed at them both and the door clicked shut behind her as she turned to go back to the kitchen. Cassian looked over at Azriel to find him still smiling like a fool at the door.

He sighed quietly as he realized he would probably never have that, would never have someone he could stare after and gaze at as fondly as Azriel did Elain. Not if he was to spend his life shackled to someone who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

As soon as he thought the words, he chastised himself, stepping out into the driveway. She was just as miserable about the whole ordeal as he was. But for Nyx, they could try and make it work. They would make it work. They would do what they had to.

He sighed, gazing up into the night sky.

Shaking his head, he wondered if there was some sort of afterlife. If there was, he wondered if Rhysand and Feyre were somewhere in the sky, looking down at him, trying to encourage him, trying to get a message to him during this horrible, hectic, anxiety-ridden unknown time.

He hoped they were.

He could use it.

That encouragement.

That love.

Cassian began raising his can to his lips, but then he froze.

A shooting star shot across the night sky.

Then another.

Cassian’s hand fell back to his side as he stared at the bright Velaris starlight, completely in awe.

They were watching, they were there with him. They were there with all of them.

Of course they were.

Cassian swore under his breath as he fully gave into the ridiculous notion of moving in with Nesta, of co-parenting with the most frustrating, stubborn woman in Prythian.

But for Nyx, he would.

For Rhysand, for Feyre, he would.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know it {Chapter 15}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta looked in the mirror and figured she looked decent enough. Having not been on an actual date in quite some time, she felt a little off her game, but the dress she had chosen felt better than the others she had tried on.

After admiring the deep, crimson color and the way her breasts looked in the low neckline, Nesta sprayed her hair and slipped on her heels before grabbing her clutch and walking down the stairs.

Nyx was in the living room, bouncing up and down in his exersaucer. When he saw Nesta, he grinned.

“Hi, sweet boy,” she said, leaning down to kiss the top of his head and hoping her lipstick hadn’t rubbed off. “Cassian?”

“Kitchen!”

“I’m heading out,” Nesta said, leaning back up.

He was a room away, in the kitchen, making the gods knew what for their dinner. Nyx always ate whatever she made for him, but it was typically a challenge. Earlier in the week, Cass had started deviating from his generic meals for Nyx of jarred baby food and puffs. It seemed like it didn’t matter what the man fed him, Nyx adored it.

She made her way into the other room and stood behind a chair at the kitchen table and cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t be home too late,” she said, drumming her fingers along the wood.

Cass glanced back at her and his eyebrows rose. “You sure? You look pretty nice for shouldn’t be home too late.”

Blushing, she said, “We’re just going to dinner.”

He turned back to the stove, where he was sautéing some broccoli and carrots, but she caught the smirk on his face. “I doubt dinner will be the only thing he wants to eat.”

A knock from the front door halted whatever her response was going to be.

For a moment, neither of them moved, then Cassian blinked. “Are you going to get that or should I?”

Nesta huffed as she made her way back through the house and opened the front door.

Balthazar was there, that glorious smile plastered on his handsome face. His brown eyes went wide in appreciation. “Wow. You look incredible.”

Nesta looked down at her dress before saying, “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

“Thanks-.”

“Alright, don’t keep her out too late and make sure she doesn’t drink too much.” Nesta spun around to find Cassian leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. “She’s not a pretty drunk.”

She widened her eyes at him, not sure if he was joking or not. The glimmer in his eyes said yes, but she couldn’t be sure.

Balthazar narrowed his eyes slightly, his gaze trailing down Cassian’s arms. “Are you Illyrian?”

Nesta swore she felt the tension in the room thicken at the three words.

“I am,” Cassian said, and she wondered if the flexing of his arms was intentional or not. “So I’d be real careful what the next words out of your mouth are.”

Balthazar smirked and unbuttoned one of his shirt sleeves, rolling it up to reveal—

Illyrian markings.

Cassian’s brows shot up and Nesta looked back and forth between the two of them.

“You’re from Illyria?” Nesta asked, once it was clear that Cassian wouldn’t say a thing.

“I am,” Balthazar said. “Grew up in the mountains. Moved here nearly a decade ago, but my parents still live there. I go there a couple of times a year.”

Cassian whistled before Nesta could say anything. “The mountains are beautiful. My mom used to take me up there for a getaway when I was younger.”

“Ah, yeah, I love it there,” Balthazar said. “I’d love to move back someday.”

Nesta cleared her throat, awkwardly. “I hate to break up this bonding moment, but we do have dinner reservations.”

“Right, of course,” Balthazar said, nodding. He stepped back, letting Nesta by. “If you’re ready, we can go.”

“Cass, have a good night,” she said, throwing him a look over her shoulder.

“Yeah, y’all, have fun,” he said, smirking at her as he closed the door behind them.

Balthazar walked Nesta to his car, opening her door for her and heading to his own side, climbing behind the driver seat. They rode in silence for a second before Balthazar said, “I’m glad you said yes.”

Nesta, despite herself, blushed as she looked over at him across the car. “I am, too.”

*

Cassian hadn’t been lying when he told Nesta he wanted her to go out with the doctor. If she had a boyfriend, he’d be less likely to think about sleeping with her again.

But he hadn’t expected to see another Illyrian at the front door. There would have been no way he could’ve known, since Nyx had only had to go to the doctor once while they’d had him, but surely Rhys would have mentioned that his son’s doctor was Illyrian at least once. There weren’t many Illyrians in Velaris, most of them choosing to stay in Illyria, to the north.

He hated that Balthazar was a nice guy.

A great guy.

A damn Illyrian.

While Nesta was gone, Cassian tried to keep his mind off of her on her date. And yet, it’s all he could think about, which was ridiculous. Nesta deserved to be happy, deserved to have fun.

And Cassian wasn’t complaining. He loved hanging out with Nyx, loved doing all the things that uncles did. And yet, Cassian felt off.

Everything was better when Nesta was around.

Nyx whimpered and Cassian seemed to understand as he lifted his nephew out of his bouncy seat and cradled him in his arms.

“Aunt Nesta will be home soon,” he crooned, bouncing Nyx.

The baby still looked around, looking for her.

For the first couple months after the accident, Nyx had constantly looked around, constantly searched for Rhys and Feyre. But recently, he hadn’t been looking around much anymore, and when he was it was for one of them.

Silently, Cassian had hoped it didn’t mean he was forgetting about Rhys and Feyre.

He sighed, carrying him to the kitchen. “Uncle Cass wants some ice cream, how does that sound?”

He clapped once and Cassian chuckled. He got a big bowl, with two spoons and settled back on the couch, Nyx next to him.

Nyx’s bites were much smaller, and Cassian tried his best not to laugh when his eyebrows bunched together, a little brain freeze hitting him unexpectedly. After he’d had a few bites, Cassian set him down on the carpet, letting him crawl over to where his toys sat on the floor.

“When are you gonna walk, dude?” He asked, watching as he banged two plastic blocks against each other.

Nyx had mastered pulling himself up right before he turned one. Yet for whatever reason, he still hasn’t taken his first steps. He and Nesta talked about it a lot, and they’d discussed whether it was something they should ask his doctor about.

He supposed Nesta could do so tonight if she was so inclined.

“It’s about time for bed, you know,” Cassian said, watching as Nyx threw his toys across the living room. “For you and me. Once you go to sleep, I’ll be right behind you.”

Nyx made a noise that nearly made Cassian laugh out loud.

“Exactly,” Cassian went on. “So, let’s get you in your pajamas, then Uncle Cassian is going to relax for a while.”

Nyx didn’t protest as Cassian carried him upstairs and started to get him ready for bed. Cassian gave Nyx a bath and got him into his pajamas before he laid him in his crib. After patting his belly, Cassian went back downstairs and laid on the couch.

He laid in silence for ten minutes before deciding that Nyx was sound asleep and nothing would wake him.

Now, all he could think about was Nesta’s date.

He didn’t let himself think about why that was.

*

Nesta wasn’t sure she had laughed this hard in months. She was actually fairly sure she hadn’t.

Not since before the accident.

“Wait, wait,” she said, using her napkin to dab underneath her eyes, having laughed so hard that tears slipped out. “There were how many people there?”

“At least two thousand at the game and way, way more watching on TV,” Balthazar replied, cringing, reliving the time he’d accidentally been pantsed during a championship baseball game in college.

And had left nothing to the imagination.

Nesta was laughing again, but took a sip of her wine and shook her head. She was having an amazing time. The conversation was coming easily, the food was delicious, and Bal had made a spectacular wine choice.

He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m having a good time,” she admitted, surprising herself.

He brushed a thumb over her knuckles and smiled. “I am, too.”

Nesta looked down where their hands met. His hands were interesting. Softer than she expected, but strong. Not rough, at all, like Cassian’s were.

Her eyes snapped up to Bal’s.

She wasn’t going to think about Cassian.

“You know, I hear they have amazing desserts here,” Nesta went on, keeping her hand in his.

“I hear the same,” Balthazar said. “In fact, I may have ordered us a sample board while you were in the ladies’ room.”

Nesta raised a brow. “Is that so?”

Balthazar nodded with a grin. “I figured why only taste one when you can taste them all?”

Nesta laughed, quietly. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Just as dessert came, Balthazar ordered another bottle of wine, and Nesta was blown away. Once again, she knew that doctors made good money, but it was surely the most extravagant date she had ever been on.

Having already eaten the cheesecake and the pavlova, Nesta scooped up a bite of chocolate cake and moaned. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she sighed, delighted.

When she opened her eyes, Balthazar was watching her, intently.

Nesta’s cheeks turned pink.

If she would have been asked to sleep with Balthazar a week before, she would have surely said yes. But now? Even with that look in his eye, she hesitated. He was handsome. Sexy, even, and she was certain that underneath his suit he was built like a Greek god. He was charming. He was kind. He was a perfect gentleman.

On paper, he was complete and utter perfection in every single way.

A part of her — a bigger part of her than she liked to admit — however, couldn’t shake the pleasure she had received only nights before by someone who was very much not the man sitting across the table from her now.

“I’m stuffed,” Nesta said, at last, draining what was left in her wine glass.

“Happily stuffed or in pain stuffed?” Balthazar asked, his voice a little quieter, that look in his eye remaining.

Nesta chuckled, softly. “Oh, happily, for sure.”

“Good,” Balthazar replied, and waved to the server for their check.

They were back in his car within fifteen minutes, and Balthazar reached across the middle console to take Nesta’s hand.

She let him.

“I have to confess,” Balthazar began, his voice just above the soft radio, “that I don’t want this night to end.”

“Does that mean that you’re taking me out again?” Nesta asked, looking over at him.

He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road. “Does that mean you’re saying yes to another date?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” she replied, tracing the line of his long fingers with her free hand. She quietly admitted, “Though, I won’t have another free Saturday for a couple of weeks.”

“That’s okay.” He pulled their joined hands across the console and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. “I can wait.”

His lips were warm against her skin, and he had just a bit of stubble on his face, enough to tickle, not to scratch. She swallowed roughly, wondering again what he would be like as a lover. From what she knew of him, she was almost sure that he would be sure, slow and calculated. Everything he’d do would be to ensure her pleasure, which she certainly wouldn’t be opposed to, but…

She wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted anymore, not when she knew how amazing it could be to be with someone who was completely unleashed, who was frenzied as he tried to bring her to release, and—

Balthazar said something and Nesta was completely lost in her thoughts. She cleared her throat, grateful he couldn’t see the blush on her cheeks as she said, “I’m sorry, I was out of it for a moment.”

He chuckled quietly. “It’s okay. I asked if you might want to see a movie one night this week, if you had any free nights?”

Nesta thought about it for a moment. “I’m free on Thursday.”

“Thursday,” he repeated, and nodded. “Alright. Thursday. I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Perfect,” Nesta said, smiling as Balthazar pulled into her driveway.

He parked, got out, opened Nesta’s door, and walked her up to the front door. “Until Thursday, then.”

“Until Thursday,” she promised. He leaned forward and kissed her, softly.

It was a quick kiss, but it was nice.

They said their goodbyes then Nesta was opening the door, making her way inside.

The house was quiet, as she expected it to be at a quarter till eleven. After slipping off her shoes and setting her clutch near the door, Nesta was tiptoeing through the house, only stopping when she caught sight of Cassian sprawled across the couch.

She couldn’t help the smile that bloomed as she looked at him. He had one of Nyx’s stuffed animals clutched in his hand, halfway behind his head almost as if he was using it as a pillow. One of his legs hung off the side of the couch, his foot pressed flat against the floor, and Nesta couldn’t help the quiet chuckle as she stood there, looking at him. He looked so peaceful while he was asleep, his face relaxed and almost boyish like this. It was so at odds with the smirking mischief she usually saw there. She wondered if this is what he would have looked like if she would have asked him to stay in her bed the other night. Shaking her head, Nesta quickly banished the thought, not wanting to detract from the almost perfect date she’d just had.

Glancing around the living room, she noticed that it was an absolute wreck. Toys were strewn everywhere, as if they’d been thrown as far as Nyx’s little hands could manage them, and a completely melted, but mostly empty bowl of ice cream sat on the coffee table. Unable to stop the quiet chuckle, she silently picked up Nyx’s toys, putting them back in the basket where they belonged. She also scooped up the remains of the bowl of ice cream and carried it into the kitchen.

She turned the water on a low stream and was rinsing out the bowl when she heard a sleepy voice behind her.

“You’re home early.”

The rasp in his voice made her knees weak.

She looked over her shoulder to find Cassian leaning against the doorframe, his eyelids half fallen, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

Nesta chuckled. “Early? Must not be too early if you’re drooling all over the couch cushions.”

Cassian huffed a laugh as he came up behind her. “You don’t have to do that. I was planning on cleaning it.”

“No big deal,” she said, placing it in the dishwasher. “I’m pretty awake, thought I’d take care of a few things anyway.”

Cassian nodded as he leaned back against the island. “So…”

Nesta turned and crossed her arms as she leaned back against the counter. “So.”

“Did you have fun with Doctor Wonderful?” Cassian asked.

“I did,” she said, leaving it at that.

He waited for a moment, but when it was clear that that was all she was going to give him, he asked, “Yet you’re home before midnight and are wide awake enough to clean up after me and the baby?”

Nesta knew what he was asking, what he was insinuating, without voicing the words.

Why didn’t you go home with him?

“It would seem so,” she replied, a hand reaching up okay with the charm dangling from her necklace.

Cassian’s eyes tracked each motion as the charm zipped back and forth along the chain. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip and he nodded. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

She wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to say something else, but when he abruptly turned and headed for the stairs, she blurted, “How was your night?”

Pausing, Cassian turned back to look at her. He laughed quietly, and said, “My night doesn’t matter, Nes. Just as long as you had fun. Goodnight.”

He didn’t give her a second to reply as he turned the corner and she heard his footsteps thumping up the stairs. A moment later, his door closed.

Nesta spent far too long thinking about his words after he left.

Just as long as you had fun.

Why did such kind, simple words bother her so much?

[snelbz]

Aisle Twenty-Two

A/N: A short fluffy Elorcan piece @tacmc and I wrote a few weeks back, based on the following tweet. Enjoy!

It had been a long day and to top it off, Elide was not looking forward to stopping at the grocery store. But she was out of milk, needed to buy cat food, and was almost out of wine.

If it weren’t for the wine, she would have waited until tomorrow, but that was the only thing that would keep her going for the rest of the week. If she had any hope of making it to Friday, she’d need to go tonight.

She was halfway down the chip aisle when she heard a familiar laugh that had her halting in place.

The sound alone had chills creeping down the back of her neck, her palms starting to sweat on the bar of the cart.

“Elide Lochan?”

That voice. She loathed that voice.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Elide turned to the long shelf of bagged chips, looking as if her only thoughts were on the bags and the labels that covered them.

Chips.

The only decision she had to make was of chips.

“Hey, Elide?”

The voice grew closer and she grabbed the first bag she could get her hands on and moved her cart along, hurrying for the aisle that housed her favorite beverages.

She didn’t hear him approach until there was a hand on her shoulder. She turned and found blonde hair, the bluest of eyes and a dashing smile staring down at her.

“I thought that was you,” he said, that grin growing. “It’s been a while.”

Not nearly long enough, she thought, but forced an awkward smile. “Roland, hey. Sorry, I’ve got…a lot on my mind.”

There was nothing but horrible memories from her short relationship with Roland Haviliard. He was a pompous, stuck up prick. He was all about appearances and his reputation, which Elide had apparently not fit into.

And yet, the smile on his face told her otherwise. “You look great.”

“So do you.” The lie rolled off her tongue too easily.

“Shopping?” he asked, as Elide went to roll her cart off to the next aisle.

Are you kidding me? She wanted to say. Obviously, she was shopping. What else would she be doing in a grocery store?

“Have to eat,” she said, matter-of-factly. But then she added, “We have to eat.”

Roland blinked, obviously catching the hint she was dishing out. We. “You’re with someone?”

“Yeah,” she said, smoothly, hoping he didn’t notice the way her eyes flicked behind him, searching for someone, anyone. “He’s grabbing a few things for himself and meeting me before we check out.”

It was clear from the look in his eyes that Roland didn’t believe her. He glanced down at her cart.

Cat food, chips, ice cream.

The most quintessential single girl shopping list.

“I’ve been meaning to call you, but didn’t know if you had the same number,” he said, placing a hand on her cart, effectively keeping her where she stood. “Things kind of…went to shit for us. I hate how things ended.”

You mean, how you dumped me and then left me with the bill for our very expensive dinner, she thought, eyes narrowing slightly.

“No, new number,” she lied, smoothly. She’d had the same number since she was sixteen. “Lost all of my contacts, too.”

“That’s a shame,” he replied. “You could text me sometime.”

“I said I’m with someone, Roland,” she snapped, an edge to her tone.

Roland snorted. “Really, Elide? Come on, just let me have your number.”

Before she could say anything more, a tall, muscular figure rounded the corner. His shoulders were broad, his arms covered in tattoos. His shoulder-length hair was tied back, his jaw set hard as he pushed his cart through the aisle.

Elain lost all control of her impulsive decision making skills. “Babe! Hey, grab me a bottle of...that moscato, please?”

His dark eyebrows raised as he realized she was talking to him. Roland’s did as well, especially as he turned to see the hulking, mass of a man she’d spoken to.

The man’s dark eyes connected with hers and she tried to convey her panic and desperation in just a few seconds, with no words, before Roland turned back to her.

The smile that split the handsome man’s features was terrifying. She couldn’t tell if he was about to go along with her plan or rat her out, and she held her breath as he began to walk closer.

But then he grabbed the big bottle of white wine and she let out a quiet, relieved sigh.

“Here you go, babe,” he said, setting the bottle in her basket. She expected that to be that, and to be left to her own devices again, when the man surprised her by extending his hand towards Roland. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure. I’m Lorcan.”

“Yeah, this is Lorcan,” Elide repeated, turning to Roland.

Roland looked back and forth between Lorcan and Elide before clearing his throat. “Hey, I’m Roland.”

“Roland and I used to be…friends,” Elide said, looking up at the handsome brute of a man.

He truly was handsome.

“We used to date,” Roland clarified, his words clipped.

The man - Lorcan, Elide amended in her head - sucked on a tooth and nodded. “I think used to are the operative words here, so if you’ll excuse us, we need to finish our grocery shopping so we can grab dinner.”

Elide could have sworn she saw Roland’s face change three shades, but compared to Lorcan, he was scrawny.

Lorcan turned to her and asked, “Ready, babe?”

“Definitely,” she sighed, and turned to Roland. “Nice to see you.”

She pushed her cart away and turned, walking down a few more aisles, before pausing and letting out a deep breath.

She heard another cart stop behind her and turned to find Lorcan there.

Her cheeks burned red. “I’m so sorry for roping you into that, but I needed an escape. He had me cornered and I couldn’t get away.”

“I get it,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “He looked like an asshole, anyway.”

“He is,” Elide said, before she could think better of it.

Lorcan chuckled. “That’s fair. Glad I could help. I’m Lorcan, by the way.”

“Elide,” she said, holding out her hand.

Lorcan shook it, that little, conniving smile remaining. “Wine is on me, by the way.”

“What?” Elide asked, brow raised.

“Moscato,” he said, nodding toward the bottle of white wine. “It’s on me.”

She blinked. “You…don’t have to do that.”

“What if I want to? I think you owe me,” he said, crossing her arms across his broad chest.

“I owe you so you want to buy me wine?” She asked, laughing quietly.

He shrugged. “I could buy you dinner instead. Since we just told your douchey ex we were getting dinner anyways.”

Elide was stunned into silence. “You want to buy me dinner?”

“Most people would call it a date,” he replied, smirking. The smirk faded. “Unless you have a boyfriend and we’re just looking for a momentary escape.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she replied, far too quickly, if the smirk returning to his handsome face was any indication.

“So, dinner then?” he asked, that grin remaining. “Or, just the wine?”

Elide nibbled on her lip.

This was insane. She had just met this man. She knew nothing about this man. This man, this random man, who was asking her to dinner.

This random, handsome man.

“How do I know that you’re not a serial killer?” Elide asked, at last.

Lorcan snorted. “You’re the one that came onto me, remember? How do I know that you’re not a serial killer?”

“I’m fairly sure you could overpower me if I tried to kill you,” she said, chuckling.

“Is that a challenge?” He asked, his eyebrows raising. Elide laughed, which made Lorcan smile.

“Dinner sounds nice,” she admitted, tucking her loose hair behind her ear.

“So it’s a date?” He asked, smirking down at her.

She smiled, feeling butterflies in her stomach for the first time in a long time. “It’s a date.”

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 11}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara's blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

The University of Velaris Knights were up by two touchdowns over the Autumn Court Foxes when Cassian looked away from the television to where Nesta was descending the stairs. Nyx was playing on the floor, an empty cup and a whisk being his choice toys of the day, and when she appeared, he began to babble happily, waving the whisk at her.

Nesta chuckled, squatting down in front of him. “Someone seems like they’ll be helping me in the kitchen when they get bigger.”

She glanced over her shoulder to grin at Cassian, but his eyes were fixed firmly on the game again. She pressed a kiss to Nyx’s dark head, and stood, smoothing her shirt out. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“He isn’t picking you up?” He asked, still watching the game.

“No,” she said, firmly. “Because it’s not a date.”

“Whatever you say,” he crooned, looking over at her at last, letting himself take in the tight jeans and ruffled top she wore. A ruffled top that showed off just the right amount of cleavage that was tasteful, but still a tease. “Have fun, Nes.”

Nesta tensed. “You know, I’ve never liked it when you’ve called me that.”

“Really?” he asked, eyes fixed on the screen. “You haven’t complained about it before.”

“I was trying to be nice.”

“You? Nice?” Cassian chuckled. “Yeah. Okay.”

Nesta’s mouth tightened as she walked toward the door. “I’ll be back soon,” she repeated.

“No need to rush,” Cassian said, and then she was out the door.

He was looking like a real asshole.

She didn’t know what his problem was, and she didn’t really care. Whatever his issues were were on him and him alone. Nesta had nothing to feel bad about. Yes, she was now a parental figure for Nyx, but she was nothing to Cassian. Nothing but an acquaintance.

He shouldn’t care who she sees, romantically or not.

The second she fell into her car, she was pushing all those thoughts away and fully focusing on her lunch date.

The date that wasn’t a date, that is.

She hurried across town, parking in the small lot next to the family owned diner. Nesta hesitated in the lot, before going inside, until she realized that she had no clue what Bal drove. After a moment, she decided to go inside, and found him already sitting at a table, waiting for her.

Nesta made her way over to the table, sliding in the booth across from him. “Hi, I’m so sorry, I’m late.”

Glancing at his watch, he smiled, those brown eyes sparkling. “You do realize it’s only two minutes past twelve, right?”

“Which is technically late,” she said, setting her purse in the seat next to her, and he rolled his eyes.

“You look nice,” Balthazar smiled, and Nesta couldn’t have stopped the blush if she tried. “Even if it isn’t a date.”

“So do you,” she replied. “The white coat is a good look, but black is better on you.”

He glanced down at the plain, black Henley he wore and chuckled. “I prefer not to wear the coat outside of the office, but if you think it should be a permanent addition to my wardrobe, I might consider it.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” Nesta grinned.

Bal’s head fell back as he laughed. Nesta had to admit that it was a glorious sight.

“So, you picked an old diner?” Nesta asked, opening the menu.

“Is there something wrong with an old time diner?” Bal asked, flipping open his own menu.

Nesta looked around and pretended to think on it. “I don’t mind the old timey diners.”

“Got a thing for milkshakes and chili cheese fries?” Bal asked.

Nesta chuckled. “Shouldn’t a medical professional be eating more healthy?”

“Life is all about balance,” he said, picking up his fork and letting it rest on his finger. The prongs and other end of the fork were perfectly weighted to hold the other up. “On one hand, constantly eating burgers and fries wouldn’t be a good idea.” He pushed down on the handle, the prongs raising and nearly falling off one side of his finger. Letting go and letting the fork settle again, he added, gently pushing on the prongs. “If you’re constantly focusing on every little thing you eat or do, what room do you have for fun?”

The fork settled once again and sat perfectly balanced atop his finger. “So as long as you’re making healthy choices at other points throughout the day, an occasional milkshake and chili cheese fries are perfectly acceptable.”

Nesta was unable to stop her smile, loving the example he’d given. She shut her menu, tilting her head slightly and said, “Milkshake and chili cheese fries, it is.”

No, it wasn’t a date, but Nesta had fun. And, after the events of the last month, she decided that she deserved that little bit of fun. Even if, in the back of her mind, all she could think about was Nyx and, Cauldron damn her, Cassian.

Every time that guilt shook her core, though, she shook it away. She had nothing to feel guilty about.

Absolutely nothing.

Once their glasses had been drained and the plate of chili cheese fries between them had been cleared, she and Balthazar exited the diner and went for a walk along the Sidra.

They kept their distance, Balthazar a perfect gentleman, and made small talk. Nesta typically didn’t care for small talk, loathed mindless chatter to fill the void, but she didn’t mind it so much with him.

“I’ve had a nice time, Nesta.”

She looked up at his handsome face and smiled. “Yeah, me too.”

“I assume you have to be getting back to Nyx?” He asked. “Who’s watching him?”

“Cassian, my…” she stumbled over the words. “Roommate?” Balthazar’s eyebrows rose. She explained. “It’s a bit of an unorthodox situation.”

Sighing, she began to explain the story of her and Cassian’s relationship, starting with their catastrophe of a date five years ago and ending with their unexpected joint custody of Nyx.

“I see,” he said, at last. “Sounds like a bad sitcom.”

Nesta snorted. “Something like that.”

Bal stopped and faced her, his eyes soft, amused. “You know, I’d really like to see you again.”

“Is that so?” She asked, voice quiet.

Balthazar nodded. “But, this time, I’d like for it to be a date.”

Nesta hesitated, but Balthazar only smiled.

“No need to answer me now,” he said, kindly. “Think about it and let me know when you’re ready.”

Nesta nodded and continued on, walking with Bal back to her car. Once they got there, he gave her a smile and told her goodbye.

It was only once Nesta got home that she realized they didn’t talk once about how they may have known each other.

She found Nyx asleep in his nursery, but Cassian was nowhere to be found in the house. Listening, she heard quiet music coming from the back patio and followed it out. He sat around the pool, an acoustic guitar in his hands, strumming gently.

“Hey,” she called, softly, not wanting to scare him.

He glanced back over his shoulders, his fingers not stilling. They continued to pluck at the strings. “How was your not-date?”

His voice was hollow and she didn’t like the sound of it. She kicked off her shoes, rolling up the cuffs of her jeans and let her toes dip into the water. The bottom half of his legs were fully submerged.

“It was fun,” she admitted. He nodded, not pushing her for more, but she wanted to get him talking, could tell that he was in a mood. For the sake of conversation, even though she already knew the answer, she asked, “Nyx taking a nap?”

Cassian nodded, eyes watching the calm water in the late afternoon sun. “Watching football tired him out this afternoon.”

Nesta watched, mesmerized, as he picked the strings. She nodded toward the guitar. “Did you make that?”

He looked over at her. “Didn’t realize you knew that fact about me.”

“You made Nyx’s,” Nesta said, quietly, reminiscing on Nyx’s first birthday party. It hadn’t been that long ago, but it felt like a lifetime.

“Kind of a stupid gift for a one year old, isn’t it?” he asked, chuckling, humorlessly.

“I don’t think so,” Nesta said.

Cassian’s fingers abruptly came to a halt. The silence was jarring. “What are you doing, Nesta? What is this?”

Nesta blinked, thrown off by the sudden change in his tone. “What’re you talking about?”

“You’re talking to me in a calm, condescending tone, and it’s unlike you,” he said, shaking his head. “So, stop.”

“I’m just trying to-.”

“You don’t need to try to do anything,” he said, standing and holding his guitar by the neck. “You’re pitying me, like you have been for the past week. Don’t worry about me.”

Nesta’s eyes shot to Cassian’s. “Seriously? We’re back to that?”

“Yeah, we’re back to that,” Cassian mumbled.

“It’s perfectly fine to show your emotions, Cassian.”

Cassian laughed. “Seriously? You’re telling me that? You’re the least emotional person I’ve ever met! I’ve dealt with Feyre and Rhys’ deaths more than you have!”

Her eyes narrowed and she stood. “You don’t know a damn thing about how I’ve handled their deaths. And while we’re on the subject, you don’t know anything about me, period.” He opened his mouth to say something and she added, “Which I’m just fine with, if you’re going to keep acting like an ass. Have a good night, Cassian.”

Without another word, she made her way back into the house, slamming the sliding door harder behind her than he expected her to.

Gods, this woman. He didn’t know how to deal with her. He didn’t know whether to throttle her or wrap her in his arms. She was right, he had barely seen her show anything regarding the catastrophic loss of her baby sister since the funeral.

Looking out over the pool, he realized the two of them may have more in common than he’d expected.

*

Nesta had changed into sweatpants and was on the couch watching some trashy TV show she didn’t care about when she heard the sliding door open about thirty minutes later. She didn’t even acknowledge him, just listened as his footsteps made their way around the house, up the stairs, back down and out towards the garage. A few minutes later, they were back and they paused a few feet behind the couch.

“I’ll be back in a little while.”

Without turning back to look at him, she said, “Alright.”

He asked, “Do you…need anything while I’m out?”

Her reply was just as short. “Nope.”

His jaw locked. “Fine.”

“Fine,” she snapped, and he was out the door, slamming it on his way out.

That man's temper went from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds.

Brute.

He should just be grateful that he didn’t wake Nyx up with the slamming of that damn door. Nesta would have gone medieval on his ass.

He once told her she had a stick shoved up her ass.

She wanted to say the same thing to him the past few days. Hell, she should have.

It was hours before she heard his truck pull back into the driveway. It looked like she’d barely moved, though it was only to get Nyx when she heard his soft cry and found him awake on the baby monitor. After a quick dinner of smashed peas and carrots, which mostly ended up on his bib rather than in his mouth, she gave him a bath, put him in his playpen and ordered a pizza for herself. And, of course, hot wings.

The boxes were still sitting on the coffee table when Cassian came inside.

Nyx was immediately pulling himself up on the edges of his playpen, grinning at Cassian. He returned the gesture. “Hey, buddy.” He picked him up, noticing his still damp hair. “Someone already had their bath, I see.”

“Yep,” Nesta said, glancing over at them. “Fed and bathed. All we have left is his bottle before bed.”

“I can-.”

“It’s your night off,” Nesta interrupted. “I’ll do it.”

Cassian’s lips shut as he took a deep breath in through his nose, and out again. “Just because it’s not my night doesn’t mean that I can’t be helpful.”

“You watched him all morning,” Nesta said. “I have the afternoon.”

Cassian hesitated, but nodded as he kissed Nyx’s forehead and set him back in his playpen.

“Have fun?” Nesta asked.

Cassian turned his back to her, heading toward the kitchen. “Yeah.”

“Must not’ve been too much fun if you didn’t bring a woman home,” Nesta muttered, picking up another slice of pizza.

Cassian stilled in the entryway of the kitchen before turning slowly back around. “Who says I have to bring a woman home to have sex?” Nesta slowly chewed her food, their eyes locked. “If the bed is the only place you’ve ever fucked, Archeron, you’re not doing it right.”

She was stunned into silence, not expecting him to have heard her, and not expecting him to reply, even more so.

“Besides,” he crooned, prowling closer, resting his hands on the back of the couch and leaning in close, closer than he’d been before. “I could say the same thing to you. Your not-date must not have gone so well if you were home so soon after it ended.”

Before she could say anything else, before she could tell him how crass and crude he always was, he abandoned whatever he had planned to get from the kitchen, and jogged up the stairs and to his room. She heard the door shut a few seconds later.

Nesta could do nothing but stare up after him, a half-chewed bite of pizza still in her mouth.

[snelbz]

The Return {The Arrival, Part 2}

Summary: Back at the lake house, ten years later... Collaboration with @tacmc.

Word Count: 6402

The Arrival Series Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

10 years later….

“Every year,” Nesta began, shaking her head as they drove up the long, winding driveway. “Every year, we are the last people here.”

With a roll of his eyes as he put the truck in park, Cassian got out and shut the driver’s side door behind him. Once again, he had the boat, which the others, who had surely arrived hours before, were most likely waiting for.

They needed a getaway.

As of the month before, Cassian had three times the responsibilities at work. Add two teenage boys and a ten year old that thought she was far older than she was, Cassian was exhausted. He knew Nesta was, too, and when she got out of the car to leave the boys to their bickering, Cassian knew she was feeling that exhaustion, deep.

She looked over at him and he gave her a smile, which she immediately returned before opening up the back door and giving her first order of the vacation. “Thorn. John. Bags inside. Now.”

John groaned as Thorn muttered, “I’m eighteen, I shouldn’t even be here.”

Cassian knew Nesta was biting her tongue as she told Scarlett to follow her around back to find Nesta and Elain.

Cassian shot Thorn and John a look that shut them both up as he heard, “Boys giving you a hard time?”

He looked over his shoulder to find his oldest niece, and smiled. “Hey, Lunabug. Where the hell are the rest of your pants?”

Luna looked down at her cutoff shorts before snorting and giving her uncle a hug. “First of all, watch your mouth. Second of all, these were eighty bucks, so be nice.”

Cassian hesitated. “Eighty… Your dad let you spend eighty bucks on a scrap of denim?”

“It’s good to see you, too, Uncle Cass,” Luna said, ignoring the question altogether.

As he unloaded the rest of the bags and hopped back in the truck to pull it around back, Nesta found Feyre and Elain just where she expected to: tanning on the back deck.

“Nice of you to finally show up,” Feyre crooned, raising her sunglasses to look up at her older sister.

The glare Nesta gave to Feyre told her if her daughter wasn’t feet behind her, she’d be giving her a very vulgar gesture.

“Hi, Scarlett,” Elain smiled, ignoring the silent bickering between her sisters. “You ready for a fun weekend?”

“Yes ma’am,” she replied, her manners nearly as impeccable as Luna’s. “Where is Layla?”

“In the bonus room with the twins,” Feyre said, letting her sunglasses drop back into place as she laid down on her chair. “They brought a bunch of makeup, so I’m pretty sure it’s makeover time.”

Scarlett’s eyes were bright as she smiled up at her mother and hurried into the house.

“Where are the boys?” Nesta asked, stealing Feyre’s drink and downing half of it in one large drink.

Feyre snatched it back, with a muttered, “Bitch,” as Elain shook her head and pointed to the dark haired brood on the docks.

“They’ve been swimming while they waited on Uncle Cass to show up with the boat.”

“Not only do I have Thorn and John to deal with, I’ve also got Little Miss Drama Queen herself to get ready and in the truck,” Nesta said, eyeing Feyre’s drink again. “Plus Cassian. But I gave up on wrangling him years ago.”

Elain shook her head as Feyre snorted. “And Thorn is too much a spitting image of Cass, is that the issue?”

Nesta shook her head, plopping down in a lawn chair opposite of them. “Thorn wants his independence, but he also wants me to cook his food, do his laundry, and clean up after him. That’s Thorn’s issue. And John wants to do everything his cool, adult big brother does. Which annoys Thorn.”

“He’s eighteen now,” Elain said, sighing. “Our husbands were no different at that age. Wanting to be men, but too immature to handle themselves.”

“They’re still too immature to handle themselves,” Feyre mumbled, which made them all laugh.

Her sisters - they were exactly what Nesta needed.

They watched as Cassian drove down to the dock and lowered the boat into the water. Bennett and Lannan were there, swimming, and the eldest helped Cassian guide the boat in and tie it up. Lannan helped, too, but being only ten, his judgement wasn’t the most trustworthy.

The sliding door was pushed open and Azriel wandered out, the top of his hair combed back, and sporting a hot pink lipgloss, which he was attempting to wipe off with a tissue. “Shit, this stuff stains.”

Elain arched a brow as she caught sight of her husband. “I kind of like it.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but there was no denying the small smile that appeared on his lips.

“It’s a good look,” Feyre agreed, to which Azriel rolled his eyes.

“It’s better than the alternative,” he sighed. “They wanted to recreate a look they saw on YouTube, but were devastated when they realized the signal wasn't strong enough to play a full video in HD.”

“What a travesty,” Elain gasped, faking her horror.

“Thorn is going to hate that,” Nesta snickered. “He may not be able to FaceTime his girlfriend.”

“He’ll live,” Cassian announced, jogging up the porch. “Spending three days focused on his family is good. The kid needs it.”

“The kid needs a kick in the ass,” Nesta muttered, and motioned for Cassian to come closer. He did so, climbing onto her chair and nestling himself between her legs. “But I love him, like I love you.”

Cassian hummed and kissed her, softly.

“My god, what do your kids think when you do this at home?” Feyre asked.

“They’re used to it by now, I’m sure,” Azriel mumbled.

“Absolutely,” Cassian mumbled, before kissing his wife, again.

“Party’s here!” Rhysand came around the corner of the house, carrying two cases of beer. He repeated the same thing his wife had said, looking at Cassian and Nesta. “It’s about time you joined us.”

“Blame the kids,” Nesta said, her arms wrapping around Cassian’s broad shoulders.

“Speaking of the kids, tell them to get ready,” Rhysand said, dropping the cases of beer on the porch. “As soon as these are in the fridge, we’re starting up the boat.”

“I don’t want to go on the boat.”

They all spun around to find Thorn, his phone in the air as he tried to find signal. “Can I have the keys to the truck?”

Cassian scoffed. “Hell, no.”

“I have to run into town,” Thorne said, stubbornly.

“You can tell Marion that you’ll call her when you can,” Nesta said, calmly.

“This isn’t about Marion,” Thorn argued - a complete lie, and they all knew it. “We don’t have anything to drink. We just have water, juice boxes, and alcohol. And, unless you want me to break into the beer-.”

“Try and see what happens,” Cassian warned.

Thorn rolled his eyes, and even though he was the spitting image of Cassian, the look was so much like Nesta that Cassian couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’ll take Luna and Bennett. They’re trustworthy,” Thorn pushed.

Cassian looked at Azriel and Rhysand, who shrugged.

“Fine. Be back in an hour,” he said, and dug the keys out of his pocket before tossing them to his oldest son.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, and went back inside.

“You know we have drinks in the cooler in the garage, right,” Feyre asked, rolling her eyes as Rhys got a warm beer out of the case and popped it open.

“I figured,” Nesta said. “But Thorn would do nothing but complain the whole time on the boat and would, in fact, break into the beer if we left him here. Might as well let him go have a little freedom before dinner.”

“And if he takes Ben and Luna, he’ll be less likely to get into trouble,” Cassian added, even as Rhys and Az gave each other disbelieving looks.

“Luna, yes, but Bennett is as likely to get him into trouble as he is to get him out,” Rhys admitted.

Feyre finished off her drink and said to her sisters, “Why did we procreate with these idiots? It made our kids idiots.” She stood and said, “I need a refill.”

Elain stood and grabbed her empty glass as well. “Speak for yourself, my kids are all honors students and make good choices.”

Cassian groaned as Nesta rolled her eyes. “Yes, your prized children are the exception to our hooligans. Now, I’m going to put on a swimsuit and tell the girls to do the same.”

Cassian watched her as she left.

He, Azriel, and Rhysand threw beer into the cooler as they heard Thorn, Bennett, and Luna speed away in Cassian’s truck.

“They’re going to do something stupid,” Rhysand mumbled.

“Don’t drag Luna into this,” Azriel countered, carrying the cooler down the hill to the boat.

“She’s already been dragged, bud,” Cassian said, clapping a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “Now we just pray that they return in one piece.”

*

“Where are they?” Elain sighed. “We’re not even going to get on the water before the sun goes down.”

“They were finishing their makeovers,” Feyre said, sipping from a glass of wine by the island. “Lily said they’ll be down soon.”

“Aunt Feyre,” Layla’s little voice called from the top of the stairs. “Can you come here for a minute?”

As one, the sisters looked at each other.

“This can’t be good,” Feyre sighed, taking another drink from her wine glass and heading for the stairs.

Nesta and Elain followed, and they could all hear the frantic, panicked words before they even topped the stairs.

“It wasn’t supposed to look like that! You should have followed the tutorial.”

“I can’t. I couldn’t watch the TikTok to make sure I was doing it right.”

“What happened?” Feyre said, pushing the door open and freezing.

Layla and Scarlett were sitting on the couch against the far wall, caked makeup on both of their faces, but the twins were sitting at the desk, a mirror in front of them. A long strand of Lily’s hair laid on the desk in front of them, and she had a pair of safety scissors in her hands.

“Don’t be mad,” Lily said, locking eyes with Feyre in the mirror.

Crossing her arms and leaning on the door frame, Feyre smirked. “Why would I be mad, it’s not my hair that got chopped.”

True enough, Lily’s hair looked far differently than it had the last time her mother had seen her. A fourth of her head looked like it had received a very dreadful bowl cut, while the rest of her hair remained the same, hanging halfway down her back.

She stared in the mirror in horror as Olive tried her best to style her twin. “I mean, it’s not so…bad.”

“I’m going to start freshman year looking like…” Lily’s hands slowly covered her mouth as she stifled a quiet sob.

“It’s not so bad,” Olive repeated, a little more convincingly. “It just needs…some product…”

“It looks like I took a knife to my bangs!”

“Bangs?” Nesta repeated. “Is that what you were going for?”

“Yeah,” Scarlett said, answering her mother in favor of her cousin. “They told her to on Tik Tok.”

“Oh, Lily,” Elain breathed, trying to hide her quiet laughter.

“This is a disaster!” Lily said, covering her entire face.

Feyre sighed and stepped up behind her daughter, resting her hands on her shoulders. “We’ll go see Aunt Mor and get it fixed when we get home. There’s still some time before school starts for it to grow in, and I’m sure Aunt Mor can work her magic. Okay?”

Lily sniffled and nodded.

“Come on, girls,” Nesta said, holding a hand out for Scarlett and Layla. “Let’s go get ready to go on the boat for a bit before dinner.”

“And you, Lily. We’ll find you a hat to wear,” Feyre said, dropping a kiss to the top of Lily’s head. “You, too, Livy.”

“Olive,” she snapped. “It’s Olive.”

With a heavy sigh, Feyre said, “I’m sorry, you’re right. Olive, my apologies. You girls go get changed and meet us on the dock, please.”

Elain and Nesta headed down the stairs, Feyre on their heels, but they waited until they got onto the back porch before looking at her.

“What was that?” Elain asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked at her.

“That is new,” Feyre sighed. “For whatever reason, we can’t call her anything but Olive. Liv, Livy, she’s not having it. It’s immature.”

“So, if I call her Livy, the name that I’ve called her since birth, she’s going to snap at me?” Nesta asked. “Yeah, I’m not going to call her Olive. It’s weird.”

“Well, it is the name on her birth certificate,” Feyre said, laughing.

Nesta shrugged. “Details.”

Elain agreed that it was weird, and they were still talking about it as Scarlett and Layla ran onto the deck, ready in their swimsuits, then down to the docks where their dads and Lannan were waiting. The twins were close behind, Olive still moody and Lily covering her hair with a hat.

When Rhysand questioned why she was wearing a beanie with a swimsuit on a boat, they all told him to mind his own business.

“Where is Luna?” Lannan asked, looking towards the house, as if his big sister might appear out of nowhere.

“She went with Thorn and Bennett into town. They aren’t coming on the boat, but they’ll be home before dinner,” Elain promised, which earned a pout from Lannan. Even though they were years apart, the two were still extremely close and it warmed Elain’s heart.

After an hour or so on the boat, the sun had begun its slow descent, and they headed back in.

“Everyone go get washed up while we make dinner,” Rhys announced. With a smirk, he added, “No impromptu haircuts.”

Lily’s beanie had fallen off during one of their faster rides and Rhysand tried not to laugh.

He really did.

He did not succeed.

“Dad!” She cried, hurrying up the deck stairs and rushing towards the house. “It’s not funny!”

As soon as she was in the house, he muttered to Azriel, “It’s pretty damn funny.”

Elain went into the house to start the food, but came back out a few minutes later. “The kids aren’t back yet. They were supposed to be back by now.”

“I’ll try calling Bennett,” Rhys said, heading into the house and going to their room. A few minutes later, he joined them in the kitchen. “No answer. Have y’all heard from them?”

“No,” Elain said, shaking her head. She looked at Azriel, concern written on her face. “And it’s not like Luna to go so long without checking in.”

Azriel frowned. “I’m sure they’re fine, Lainy. I’m sure they’re just being teenagers.”

Even he didn’t believe himself.

Cassian swore. “I’m sure Thorn was leading the way. He’s-.”

They could hear a car pulling into the driveway, and all six adults turned their heads toward the sliding door, waiting.

Luna and Bennett appeared a moment later, looking sheepish and refusing to make eye contact with any of them.

“Luna,” Azriel began, starting with the one that was most likely to talk. “Where’ve you been?”

“In town,” she answered, without missing a beat.

Nesta was looking around. “Where’s Thorn?”

Neither of them answered.

Cassian crossed his arms, and repeated, “Where’s Thorn?”

Bennett was rubbing the back of his neck when he muttered, “Jail.”

Everyone froze. It was Nesta who said, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Thorn got arrested,” Luna whispered, staring at her feet.

“He— What do you—?” Nesta was shaking her head, clearly not processing what they were telling her.

“Luna, Ben, follow me,” Rhys said, pointing to the back hallway where the adults’ bedrooms were situated. He looked at Feyre. “Think y’all can start on dinner while we handle this?”

She nodded, but was moving towards Nesta, who looked like she was about to pass out. “Go. We’ve got this under control.”

Cassian looked inclined to disagree, but Rhys walked down the hall, Luna and Bennett a step behind, and he and Azriel followed. They sat down on the end of the bed and faced their fathers and uncle as Rhysand shut the door.

“What happened?”

Luna looked like she was going to be sick under the disapproving gaze of her father. “We got drinks and were hanging out in the park by the Square. There weren’t any kids around so we were just messing around on the swing set. And then Rion got there and—.”

“Marion?” Cassian interrupted. “Thorn’s girlfriend showed up?”

They both nodded and glanced at each other. “I guess she was planning to come up the whole time.”

“The drinks are in the bed of the truck,” Bennett interjected, clearing his throat.

“Ben, in the kindest way, I don’t give a damn about the drinks right now,” Rhys sighed. “What happened that was illegal? Why is Thorn in jail?”

“They went back to the truck,” Luna said, quietly. “We stayed on the playground and we figured we’d just leave when they were done.”

The men silently stared at them.

It was Azriel who awkwardly asked, “And when you say they went back to the truck…?”

“They were having sex,” Bennett replied, bluntly, while Luna’s cheeks were on fire.

“In my truck?” Cassian asked, outraged.

Again, they both nodded. Luna went on. “We noticed it was getting a little late and started heading back that way and when we got closer, we saw the cop putting them in handcuffs.”

“The cop at least let us take the keys, so we could bring the truck back,” Bennett shrugged. “I guess he let Rion off, cause he only put Thorn in the back of the cop car.”

“Are we in trouble?” Luna asked, her wide, hazel eyes filling with tears.

Rhys and Azriel looked at each other and sighed. “No,” Azriel said, at least. “But you should have called us immediately when something went wrong.”

“My phone was dead,” she defended, pulling it out and showing them.

Bennett looked at Rhys. “And you know I never have signal out here.”

Rhys nodded and sighed. “Go get cleaned up for dinner. Don’t tell your brothers and sisters about this. We need to talk to your mothers first.”

They nodded and headed for the door, but Luna looked up at Azriel and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

Taking a deep breath, he hugged her and said, “I know. We’ll get this taken care of.”

She nodded, and followed Bennett out of the room.

Azriel and Rhysand both looked at Cassian, who had his hands on his hips and was staring blankly at a spot on the carpet.

Without another word, he grabbed his truck keys from where Bennett had left them on the bed and was out the door. There were words going about behind him as he went, but no one stopped him. It wasn’t until he was outside unlocking the driver’s side door that someone called his name.

“Cass.” He turned around to find his wife on the porch, holding up a shirt and his wallet. “Forgetting something?”

With a defeated sigh, he slowly walked back up to the porch and pulled his t-shirt over his head. “He got arrested for public indecency, Nesta. Marion came up. He was fucking in the back of my truck-.”

“Don’t act like you and I weren’t doing the same thing at eighteen,” she interrupted, looking up at her husband and his grim, frustrated expression. “Sneaking your girlfriend somewhere, taking advantage of the short time you have together… It wasn’t that long ago it was you and me.”

Cassian crossed his arms. “That’s not the point. How the hell are you so calm right now?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong.” Nesta scoffed, one brow raised. “I’m gonna kick his ass when he gets home. He’s grounded, which he’ll protest because he’s eighteen, which is gonna make me kick his ass even more. But, for me to do that, you need to go get his ass and bring him to me, which I know you’re not gonna wanna do, because you're stubborn and pissed off.”

Cassian’s jaw locked. He didn’t say she was wrong…because she wasn’t.

“How many times were you arrested when you were his age?” she asked, rubbing her hands up and down his crossed arms.

Cassian didn’t answer.

“We all do stupid stuff,” she continued, then reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him, softly, even though Cassian’s lips hardly moved in return. “Go get him, have a civil conversation, don’t yell…too much. Then bring him home, so I can make him cry with my disappointed stare.”

At that, Cassian cracked the smallest smile, knowing she was absolutely right.

He turned to head for the truck and she hollered, “I’ll save him a plate. I doubt the food is very good in prison.”

Pausing as he opened the truck door, Cassian scoffed, glancing back at his wife. “He’s been in jail for less than three hours. I’m sure he’s fine.”

She was smirking, but he could see the sadness and worry in her eyes. “Bring my baby home safe, please.”

Half an hour later, Cassian was parking the truck in the lot behind the police station of the small town. It was mostly a vacation spot, for people like his family, so they’d never needed a big police force. Crime was low here. The worst sort of thing that happened in this town had: teenagers being stupid teenagers.

After speaking with the woman at the front desk, signing a bunch of paperwork and posting his bail, Cassian was leaning against a wall near the front door, waiting for his eldest son. A sullen looking Thorn appeared a moment later, an officer behind him. After shaking the man’s hand, Cassian and Thorn were out the door and heading for the truck. They hopped in, the engine revved to life, and they were off, heading back towards the cabin and their family that waited for them. And still a single word hadn’t been spoken.

Thorn was the one to break the silence. “Well?”

His tone immediately set Cassian on edge and he had to remind himself that that was because it was often so much like his own and to calm down. But it didn’t stop his hand from tightening on the wheel. He took a deep breath before saying, “Well, what?”

Cassian’s eyes were still on the road, but he could feel Thorn looking at him. “Aren’t you going to yell at me?”

“Do you want me to yell at you?” Cassian asked. “Do you want me to tell you what a dumbass decision you made today, not only jeopardizing your future, but also Marion’s, and you could have gotten your cousins into serious trouble, too?”

“Luna and Ben would’ve been fine,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and slumping in the seat. “They weren’t even involved—.”

“And Marion?” Cassian interrupted. “I assume since I didn’t get to have a nice chat with her father in the lobby, they let her go, but she could’ve been in big trouble, too, Thorn.”

The truck cab filled with silence and Cassian took another deep, calming breath before he went on. “Do you know what my first arrest was for?”

Thorn looked over at his father, the man on the Velaris Police Force who never did anything wrong. “You’ve been arrested?”

“More times than I’m going to admit,” Cassian said, but glanced at Thorn before settling his eyes back on the road. “And the first time was for public indecency.”

The silence returned. “Were you having sex-.”

“No,” Cassian said, stopping him before he could finish his sentence. “I was at a party, eighteen years old, and I got drunk, then went streaking down the middle of the road. It was a nice neighborhood, too. Scared the shit out of an old woman sitting on her porch, reading a book. There was a police car sitting right around the corner.” Cassian nodded to Thorn. “At least you were arrested with your clothes on.”

For a moment, Thorn said nothing, but then he laughed, quietly. “Sounds stupid.”

“It was stupid,” Cassian agreed. “Almost as stupid as shagging your girlfriend in the back of a truck in broad daylight.” He gestured outside, to the setting sun.

“Shagging?” Thorn repeated.

“You’d prefer me use a different term?” Cassian shot back.

Thorn shook his head. “Look, I get it, alright? But there was no one else around-.”

“Yeah, which is why you didn’t get yourself in deeper shit. If there had been kids around, Thorn—.” Cassian snapped, then took a second to calm himself back down. “If that cop hadn’t driven by the parking lot and seen the truck off, but moving, I’m sure you wouldn’t have gotten caught. You’re right. But, that’s not the point. The point is-.”

“I know, dad,” Thorn said, his tone hardening. “I don’t need the lecture.”

“No?” Cassian asked.

Thorn shook his head.

“You already know what I’m going to say, then?” Cassian pushed.

Thorn nodded.

Cassian snorted. “Then do tell. Please.”

“You already said it!” Thorn said, tossing his hands in the air. “I’m an idiot, alright? I made a dumbass decision because I can’t control myself. I almost got Marion and Ben and Luna in trouble, and I got my ass tossed into the back of a police car, alright? I know what I did wrong, dad. And I’m embarrassed enough, so…just…please. Save the lecture.” Near the end, his anger faded, and all Cassian could hear was defeat.

Cassian cleared his throat. “Why embarrassed?”

Thorn shot his dad an exasperated look. “Seriously? I just got my naked ass dragged off my girlfriend before getting handcuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car, and you want to ask me why I’m embarrassed?”

Cassian looked over the console at Thorn, then back to the road. “Worried she’ll dump you?”

Thorn thought for a second, then shook his head. “No, but it’s just…not how I wanted today to go.”

Cassian nodded, then thought carefully about how he would ask his next question. “When you two… I mean, I assume it’s not the first time you’ve… You’ve been together a while…” He sighed, then bluntly asked, “You’re careful, right?”

“She’s on the pill,” Thorn mumbled, and when Cassian glanced over as he pulled into the driveway and parked the truck, his son’s cheeks were bright red.

He smirked. “So you’re man enough to have sex, but not to talk about it?”

“Not with you,” he muttered, unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing out of the truck.

Cassian followed suit and clapped a hand firmly on his son’s shoulder. “Well, that’s too bad. Cause not only are you about to have to talk to me about it again, but your mother as well.”

Thorn’s eyes went wide and his feet stopped moving. In the moonlight, the color of his eyes weren’t visible and he looked like a mirror image of Cassian at that age. “Mom knows?”

“Oh, yeah,” Cassian replied, getting him moving again. “The only ones that don’t are your brother, sister, and cousins. But the three of us are about to have a conversation and I don’t know if you’ll enjoy it as much as you enjoyed ours.”

Cassian could see a fire going down by the docks and hear the laughter of his family. He knew there would be one person missing from the revelry and found her sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and two plates of food on opposite sides of the table.

Nesta was rolling the coffee cup between her hands and her steely eyes flicked up to them the second they opened the sliding glass door.

Cassian didn’t say anything, just picked the plates of food up and took them to the microwave, heating them up, one by one.

Thorn lingered by the door, his hands shoved into his pockets. Finally, he started, “Mom, I—.”

Nesta held up a hand to stop him and pointed to the chair closest to her. “Sit.”

She stood and met Cassian in the kitchen, while Thorn did as he was told. She quietly asked him, “You talked?”

Cassian nodded, already diving into the plate of food. “Yeah.”

“You talked or you yelled?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

With a shrug, Cassian ate another bite of steak. “Both. I’d say it was a productive conversation.”

“So should I be the good cop or the bad cop?” She asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter.

“I think he’s probably had enough of cops today,” Cassian said, and Nesta could see he was trying not to smile. “Probably best for you to be his mother instead.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Nesta sighed. “You know what I mean, Cass. Do I need to break him down more or should I start picking up the pieces?”

“I’d say a bit of both,” he admitted. “He’s embarrassed, and rightfully so, but I don’t think the ramifications of how bad this could have been have settled in yet.”

She nodded and picked up the second plate. Looking up at her husband, she wrinkled her nose. “Go take a shower after you eat. You smell like the lake.”

Nesta didn’t give him a chance to answer and instead carried the food back out to the dining area and set it down in front of Thorn, before taking her seat again.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled, staring at the food in front of him.

“Too bad.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Eat.”

He did as he was told, eating a few bites in silence until Cassian crossed through the living room, headed for their bedroom. “By the way Nes,” he called out. “Marion is on the pill, in case you wondered.”

Thorn dropped the fork he was holding and covered his face. “Dad.”

“Have a good talk!”

Nesta had closed her eyes and was taking deep, controlled breaths. When she opened them again, her blue-grey eyes met Thorn’s identical ones. “I’m too young to be a grandmother.”

Thorn looked away as he said, “I’m not… We’re being careful.”

“It takes more than her being on the pill to be careful,” Nesta said, calmly. “Accidents happen.”

“I really don’t want to talk about this,” Thorn whispered, staring at his plate.

“Then you shouldn’t have gotten arrested for not being able to keep your hands to yourself,” Nesta replied, simply. “Thorn-.”

“I love her,” he replied, finally looking back up at Nesta. “I love her, and when I’m around her, I can’t even…think straight. I know what we did was stupid, mom, but in that moment…” He shook his head. “You can blame it on stupid teen hormones or whatever, but that wasn’t what this is for me.”

Nesta sighed, setting her coffee down and laying a hand over his. “It’s not that you got caught having sex. It’s not even that you were arrested, but that is a part of it. It’s that you lied to us, Thorn. To me, and your father, and your aunts and uncles. You told us going into town had nothing to do with Marion, but in all reality, that was the whole reason you wanted to go. And you roped Bennett and Luna into it, which could have affected them.”

He nodded, not saying anything, just taking the reprimand.

“We’re upset with you because we’re disappointed. This could have ended much worse, and Marion is lucky they let her go.”

Nesta released his hand, but turned her own palm up, holding it out and waiting. Thorn looked at it for a moment, before glancing up at her face, and sighing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and placed it in her hand. She placed it on the edge of the table and said, “You won’t be getting this back for the rest of the weekend. And when we get home, your father and I will discuss your full punishment.”

“I got thrown in jail,” he mumbled. “Isn’t that punishment enough?”

Her sharp laugh surprised even herself. “Absolutely not. But this weekend isn’t just about us. It’s about your cousins and your aunts and uncles and spending time with them. So finish eating and go join them around the fire.”

“And if they ask where I’ve been?” He asked as she stood and picked his phone up.

Pausing for a moment, she considered telling him to tell them anything but the truth. But they would all find out eventually. “That’s up to you. But keep the sex talk to a minimum. Scar, Lannan and Layla don’t need to hear about that yet.”

Thorn’s jaw locked, but he nodded, once. He stood and cleared his plate, even though anything had hardly been eaten off of it. He stopped before walking out the back door. “Can I at least text Rion to make sure she got home alright?”

“I’ll text her mom,” Nesta replied, simply.

Thorn hesitated. “Saying what?”

“Just making sure she got home safely,” she said, shrugging. “I’ll tell her to let Marion know you're grounded from your phone for the weekend so that she doesn’t worry.”

Thorn nodded, slowly. “And…the other stuff?”

Nesta watched him for a long moment before saying, “Even I think having your ass handed to you by Mr. Salvaterre for being caught with his daughter by the cops is too harsh a punishment. I won’t say a thing.”

All of the breath left Thorn’s body. “Thanks.”

The second Thorn was out the door, Cassian came around the corner, his plate cleaned.

“I should’ve known you were listening,” Nesta said, sipping from her mug as she watched her husband stride to the sink.

As he set his plate inside, he chuckled. “Oh, I wasn’t missing that. And I think you should reconsider. Watching Lorcan kick Thorn’s ass for defiling his daughter may be good for us all.”

Nesta rolled her eyes and looked out the back door, where Thorn was slowly walking down the hill toward the fire. “He means it. I can tell. He loves that girl.”

“You sound like that worries you,” Cassian said, sitting in the chair next to her before pulling her onto his lap.

“I don’t want his heart broken. That’s my baby,” Nesta said, simply.

“Ah, yes,” Cassian muttered, his lips on her shoulder. “Our little felon.”

“Don’t call him that,” she chastised. “He made a mistake. A big, stupid mistake, but I think he understands the consequences of his actions.”

“He better,” he murmured. “They each only get one get out of jail free card.”

Nesta’s quiet laughter shook her body. “I’m fairly sure neither John or Scarlett will need theirs.”

“You’re probably right,” he said, holding her tighter against him. “We can let this go until we get home. Let’s enjoy our time while we’re here, yeah?”

“Exactly.” Nesta turned and kissed him, but when he made a move to deepen the kiss, she put a hand to his chest and pushed him away. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you smelled like a lake. You need a shower.”

Rolling his eyes, he gave her another quick kiss before she stood. “Fine. I’ll go get in the shower. But only if you promise to make me a s’more when I get out.”

“Sounds like a fair trade,” she said, heading for their bedroom, Thorn’s phone in hand.

“I’m surprised he didn’t ask you not to go through his search history,” Cassian called from where he still sat at the table.

“You’re disgusting,” she hollered back.

“I’ve also been an eighteen-year-old boy,” he chuckled.

“Oh, I remember well,” Nesta laughed, turning off her son’s phone and placing it on the top of her dresser.

Thorn would be fine, reckless nature and all. He was his father’s son, after all, and Cassian had turned out pretty damn good, even if he was the cockiest, most reckless young man Nesta had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Even if said man was sliding out the back door and not following her down the hall to take a shower like he’d said he would.

Exasperated, Nesta went onto the back porch to yell at him, but he was running down the hill, taking off his shirt as he did so. Once he reached the bonfire, he was throwing Thorn over his shoulder and running down the dock, toward the lake.

Nesta had no idea how he could still toss Thorn around like a sack of potatoes. They were nearly the same height, with those same broad shoulders.

She watched as Cassian jumped off the end of the dock, taking Thorn with him beneath the dark water, jeans, shoes, and all.

Nesta laughed quietly as Rhysand, Azriel, Bennett, and John all followed their lead, running down the dock and diving in.

“Nesta!”

Her eyes shifted to the fire, where everyone else sat. Feyre was waving for her to join them. “Come have a drink and help us laugh at these foolish boys!”

Nesta could hear the girls giggling as she walked down the hill to join them. Lannan was sound asleep on the ground in front of the fire, obviously having worn himself out from the day, and Scarlett and Layla weren’t far behind.

Nesta took the lawn chair that either Rhys or Az had vacated between her sisters, and took a deep breath in as she gazed up at the stars. They weren’t as beautiful as the ones she’d come to know and love in Velaris, but they were still a glorious sight.

“Everything okay?” Elain asked, taking Nesta’s hand.

She nodded, eyes still on the stars. “We’ll deal with it when we get home,” she replied, looking down at her sisters. “For now, we want to enjoy this weekend. Enjoy our time with our family.”

Feyre and Elain both smiled at that and Feyre rested her head on Nesta’s shoulder.

Tomorrow would be a new day. The sun would be bright and shining and they’d spend the day how they’d originally planned.

But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be a day as crazy as today had been.

[snelbz]

The Return Part 3 {The Arrival}

Summary: Back at the lake house, ten years later…

Collaboration with @tacmc - The final part of the sequel!

Word Count: 7608

The Arrival Series Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

By the time Rhysand woke up, he could already smell bacon and coffee making its way through the house.

He groaned, rolling over and tossing his arm around Feyre, who grunted from its weight.

“May the Mother bless your sister for being such an early riser,” he muttered, climbing on top of her.

She shimmied beneath him. “Get off me, you brute. You’re heavy and I’m getting stabbed.”

He nipped at the back of her neck. “I’m waking you up.”

“Well stop,” she said, laughing quietly as he gave her room to roll over beneath him. She looked up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck as his body sank on top of hers.

“You’re not doing a very good job at getting me off of you,” he mumbled, kissing her softly, slowly.

“Yeah, well, I’m a tease, so…” Her words trailed off as she kissed him back, and twenty minutes later, Rhysand was heading for a shower.

Then for breakfast.

Elain, Scarlett, and Azriel were the only ones up, the latter cradling his mug of coffee with his head resting on the island.

“Someone’s hungover,” Rhysand said, grinning as he patted Azriel on the back.

“Thorn’s been hungover,” Scarlett chimed in. She giggled. “He got in such big trouble.”

“Your house is an interesting place to be, Scar, isn’t it?” Elain asked, scooping scrambled eggs from the skillet onto a massive platter.

“Being the favorite is fun,” she grinned, that smile a little more toothless every time they saw her.

Rhys chuckled quietly and poured himself a cup of coffee before crossing to the sliding glass door and looking out.

He hummed unhappily as he gazed out at the dark clouds and choppy water. “Well. Looks like we won’t be going out on the boat today.”

“I checked the forecast,” Elain said, setting a plate of food down for Scarlett. “It’s supposed to clear up around lunchtime. If we’re lucky, we might get a few hours.”

“Depends on how much the storm stirs up the water,” Az muttered, his head still resting on the countertop. He turned and looked at his wife through one eye. “If it’s too bad, I don’t want to take the younger ones out in that.”

Rhysand was inclined to agree, but before he could state as much, Cassian appeared and stood beside him, gazing out. “Well, those are some shitty-looking clouds.”

Scarlett finished chewing her food and said, “That’s a bad word, daddy.”

“Don’t tell mommy,” he said, just as Nesta came into the room.

“Don’t tell mommy what?” she asked, intrigued as she made herself a plate.

“Daddy’s saying naughty words,” Scarlett said. “You should punish him.”

“Yeah, mommy,” Cassian said, looking over his shoulder. “Punish me.”

Elain shook her head as she sat down next to Azriel and began to rub his back. “I repeat my earlier statement.”

Five minutes later, everyone was awake and filling their stomachs. Lannan sat with Layla and Scarlett, planning out their morning of playing board games while the twins were coming up with new ideas to put on TikTok.

“As long as you won’t be making any hair tutorials,” Rhysand mumbled, earning a glare from Lily.

“Since the weather will be rough, why don’t you and Ben organize what’s in the shed?” Cassian asked, looking at Thorn. “Clean it up and get rid of all the shit we don’t need anymore.”

“Language,” Luna mumbled, walking past her uncle into the living room.

Thorn and Bennett looked at one another, and Bennett said, “We can do that.”

Luna offered to do what little damage control she could on Lily’s hair and she and the twins disappeared in Rhys and Feyre’s bathroom.

An intense game of Sorry was taking place on the living room floor and while Feyre and Elain began planning out lunch, Nesta went up to the bonus room to see what an absolute mess it was. She found John playing Xbox, looking sullen on the couch by himself.

“What’s wrong?” Nesta asked, sitting on the arm of the couch, so she wouldn’t impede his view of the screen. She’d learned from both of her boys what a tragedy that was and she only did so when they were in trouble.

He shrugged, not saying anything, just continuing to play the shooter on screen.

Nesta raised an eyebrow and pushed his golden-brown hair off his forehead. His hazel eyes were fixed on the television. She asked, “You sure about that?”

“I’m just bored,” he admitted. “I don’t want to do girly stuff with Liv and Lily and I don’t want to play board games. So I’ll play Call of Duty, like I do at home.”

“Why don’t you help Thorn and Bennett clear out the shed?” She offered, not trying to con him into manual labor, but if it kept him busy… “It’ll get done quicker and then they can come back in and the three of you can do something together.”

“I tried, but they told me to stay inside and do kid stuff,” John replied, the last words dripping with ire. “I’m not a kid anymore. I’m fourteen, but they treat me like I’m still twelve.”

Nesta sighed, nodding, knowing exactly what he was talking about. She had done the same thing to Elain and Feyre - she had never meant anything bad by it, it was just a part of being the oldest sibling.

“Well, you’re right,” Nesta said, at last. “You’re not a kid anymore, so if you want to hang out with Ben and Thorn, do it. Or, ask Luna to do something with you. But I don’t want you in here doing exactly what you do at home. That’s the whole point of us taking this trip every year.”

John paused his game and looked at his mom. “What’s dad doing?”

“They went into town to get stuff for dinner,” she replied and chuckled at his annoyed expression. “They’ll be back soon. Until then, come on. Go bother your brother. Enough of this.”

Out of all of her kids, John looked the most like her. He also had her mannerisms, including the perfected eye roll, which he gave her as he shut off his game.

He trudged down the stairs and she heard the sliding glass door open and close. Nesta began picking up the vast array of mess that was strewn across the room. There were toys that she’d forgotten one of them owned and games left out. She broke apart a puzzle that was only partially completed and stacked as many cups, plates, and bowls as she could carry before taking them to the kitchen and dropping them into the sink.

“Nine children are far too many to have in one house,” she muttered, turning the water on and beginning to wash the dishes.

Elain and Feyre chuckled where they were skewering meats and veggies onto bamboo sticks to grill for lunch. Hopefully, the rain would indeed have passed by then.

“Remember the Miller’s, from elementary school?” Elain asked, popping a piece of raw bell pepper into her mouth. “Didn’t they have nine kids?”

“Yes, those poor parents,” Feyre laughed, finishing chopping a chicken breast and seasoning it. “Could you imagine this, all the time, but only two adults to wrangle it all?”

“I’d be an alcoholic,” Nesta admitted, but the conversation dropped when the door opened back up and soaking wet John stumbled in.

“They wedged something under the door, I can’t get in,” he muttered, hazel eyes pissed. “I’m freezing, I’m going to take a shower.”

None of them said anything as he dripped down the hallway and they heard the bathroom door slam shut, but Feyre and Nesta looked at each other.

“That sounds suspicious,” Feyre admitted. “Why would they bar the door to clean out the shed?”

Nesta was about to respond when another roll of thunder shook the house, and she sighed. “I’m not going out there to investigate. One of our husbands can when they get back.”

“Can do what?” Rhys asked, carrying bags of groceries in and setting them on the counter.

“Ben and Thorn locked themselves in the shed and won’t let John in to help them,” Feyre replied, starting to unpack the bags. “Where are your brothers?”

“Making sure the boat is tied down and nothing is loose inside it. The water is a lot choppier than we figured it’d be, we won’t be going back out today.” Rhys ran a hand through his already wet hair and looked out the door towards the shed. “Why would it be locked if they’re supposed to be cleaning it out? That seems suspicious.”

“That’s what we said,” Nesta sighed. “Do you mind going to check that out?”

“Not at all,” he replied, going back to the door by the garage to get his rain jacket. He grinned. “Maybe it’s my turn to be the pissed parent this weekend.”

Rolling her eyes, Feyre said, “You sound way too excited at that prospect.”

With another crooked grin, Rhys was opening the door and heading out into the rain.

It wasn’t pretty. Lightning lit up the sky as another round of thunder sounded. Cassian and Azriel were just nearly up to the back porch as Rhysand began descending the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Cassian asked, loudly above the storm.

Rhysand simply pointed to the shed at the bottom of the hill. “Suspicious!”

Azriel lifted a brow, but it was only Cassian that followed Rhysand down the hill. Azriel had always hated wet clothes - it was his biggest pet peeve. Rhysand was certain that he was nearly about to throw a fit of his own.

He would go inside so that Elain could baby him about it.

The thought made Rhysand laugh as he descended the hill.

When they approached the shed, Rhysand could already smell it, and judging by the way Cassian halted a few feet away, Rhysand knew it had hit him, too.

He pounded on the door.

“Go away, Johnny!” Thorn yelled.

Rhysand pounded on the door, again. “Open up, you idiots!”

Something that sounded an awful lot like ah, fuck sounded from inside before a bar was dropped, and the door slowly swung open.

“Pretty hard to clean out the shed when the door is shut,” Rhys said leaning on the doorframe.

Cassian just stood beside him, arms crossed over his chest, still getting wet. “And locked,” he added.

“We were organizing before we started tossing things out,” Thorn lied, smoothly. At least it was supposed to be. It may have been, had the entire shed not reeked of weed and Bennett hadn’t chosen that exact second to cough.

A small cloud of smoke billowed from his lips and Rhysand’s eyes settled on his son. “No wonder you two were so eager to do physical labor on vacation.” He held out his hand and waited.

Neither of the boys moved.

“You can give it to us now or the four of us can spend all night out here,” Cassian said, a clap of thunder accenting his words.

With a sigh, Thorn turned and reached his hand into an old coffee can that was typically filled with screws, nails, and other things that needed a catch-all container. He produced a small pipe, a grinder, and a lighter and placed them in his uncle’s hand.

“Is that all of it?” Cassian asked, looking between his son and nephew. They both glanced at each other and Bennett reached down into a toolbox filled with screwdrivers and other things and pulled out a Ziploc baggy. He held it out and Rhys took it, too.

“Which one of you brought it?” He asked, his eyes settling on them both.

“I did,” Thorn replied, and Bennett’s head whipped around to look at him.

“You’ll be lucky to be able to leave the house for the next year,” Cassian said, stepping aside, making an exit for them. “Both of you, go to your room. We’ll be inside in a minute.”

They did as they were told, neither of them saying a word as they made their way up to the house.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rhys sighed. “I was kidding about getting to be the pissed-off parent. I didn’t think I actually would be.”

Cassian blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” he sighed, putting the pipe and weed back into the coffee can. “We can’t bring this in the house. It reeks and I don’t want the kids smelling it.”

“I’m sure they already smelled it on them the second they walked in the door,” Cassian replied, looking over his shoulder. “And I know Nes and Feyre did.”

Rhysand sighed and set the coffee can on the shelf. “Where did they even get this stuff?”

“Considering Thorn was in jail two days ago, I’m not surprised by anything at this point,” Cassian said. “But, Ben?” He shook his head. “Rhys, I’m sorry, Thorn-.”

“Bennett’s old enough to make his own decisions,” Rhysand said, as Cassian ran a hand through his wet hair. He took the coffee can off the shelf and said, “I’ll lock this in my car for now. Figure out what to do with it later. I’ll be inside in a minute.”

Cassian nodded and headed back up toward the house while Rhysand went around front, and put the can into the passenger side. He locked the door before shutting it.

Bennett was a good kid.

A responsible kid.

And Rhysand hated the little thought that crept into his mind: Thorn is a bad influence.

Rhysand loved Thorn, loved his nephew, loved that he reminded him so much of Cassian when they were younger.

He knew it wasn’t fair for him to think such a thought, knew that Thorn was a good kid, even if he was a little reckless.

But bringing pot on a family vacation?

Idiotic, even for the reckless.

Rhysand made his way back inside, and when he entered the kitchen, all of the kids had disappeared, and he was left looking at Feyre, Cassian, Nesta, Thorn, and Bennett.

“Az and Lainy are playing a game with everyone else upstairs,” Feyre answered, staring pointedly at Bennett, who was staring at the floor.

Cassian was leaning against the counter, still in his soaking wet clothes, and Thorn and Bennett weren’t much better off. Droplets of rain hung off the ends of Thorn’s long hair before falling to the tile floor.

They heard a door open down the hall and turned to see John heading towards the living room. When he caught sight of the group in the kitchen, he wisely decided to head up the stairs and return to his game.

Thorn’s eyes followed him up the stairs until his father’s voice earned his attention.

“You’re grounded until further notice, and this isn’t even taking into account your stint in jail the other night,” he said, voice hard. “No phone. No Xbox. No laptop. No Marion. When school starts, you’ll take the bus with John, not your car. To and from school, then home. Am I clear?”

“What? No!” Thorn said, standing, meeting his father at full height. “I’m eighteen, you can’t do that.”

“I can do whatever the hell I want,” Cassian shot back. “You have one more year in my house until you graduate. My roof, my rules.”

Thorn scoffed. “That’s a bullshit response and you know it. I pay for my phone, I bought my laptop, and I bought that car. You can’t take it away from me.”

“You’re about to get your ass kicked if you keep talking to me like that,” Cassian snarled.

Thorn’s head whipped around to Nesta. “Seriously, mom?”

Nesta’s jaw was set, though, and she shook her head. “Arrested for public indecency, and now drugs?”

“It's weed!” Thorn yelled, throwing his arms in the air. “It’s not cocaine! Everybody smokes weed!”

“Yeah! When you’re twenty-one, and old enough to buy it!” Cassian yelled, taking a step forward, getting in his son’s face. “And I don’t give a shit what everyone else does. You’re not smoking weed, you’re not getting drunk off your ass, and you’re not getting jail time at eighteen-.”

“Like you did?” Thorn asked, raising his voice, cutting his father off.

Cassian’s mouth snapped shut.

The room fell into silence.

Cassian felt Nesta’s slim hand on his chest but he didn’t back down. She could practically feel the rage boiling in his blood. Thorn had always had a sarcastic, asshole streak, but this was farther than he’d ever gone. Nesta stepped between them, but neither of the mirror images dared look away from each other. She was so much smaller than the two of them, but when she spoke, there was no questioning her tone. “Go to your room. Now.”

Thorn’s jaw was set, his eyes lit with silver fire, but he did as he was told. The slam of the bedroom door was hard enough that the entire house shook and Nesta was surprised some of the pictures didn’t rattle off the wall.

Turning to Cassian, she said, “You need to cool down. What he said was out of line, but you’re too pissed to think straight.”

He didn’t deny it because she was absolutely right. “I don’t even know what to say right now.”

“I don’t either,” she replied, framing his face. “But go take a shower. Cool down. You and I will talk when you get out.”

Releasing a deep breath through his nose, Cassian nodded and headed towards their room. Nesta also took a calming breath, closing her eyes and only reopening them after she released it. She took Feyre’s hand and looked at her sister. “I’m going to get things pulled together for a load of laundry before we leave tomorrow. I’m sorry for Thorn’s part in this.”

Feyre’s smile was sad, but she looked at her eldest child, who was still staring at the floor. “He wasn’t the only one who made a bad decision.”

Nesta squeezed her hand once and headed for their room as well, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. It left Feyre, Rhysand, and Bennett alone in the kitchen.

“Sorry that you don’t get an audience like Thorn had,” Rhys said, and Feyre hadn’t heard his voice so cold in a long time, and never towards one of their children.

Bennett said nothing.

“Really?” Rhysand went on. “You have absolutely nothing to say?”

Bennett shook his head.

“Weed, Ben?” he went on. “I can’t even begin to think of a punishment for you. I mean, shit, this is the last thing I expected from you. I get it’s not all your fault, peer pressure from Thorn, I know you look up to him, but this…” Rhysand shook his head. “It’s illegal, Bennett, and you’re too young to responsibly-.”

“It wasn’t Thorn’s.”

Feyre stilled as Rhysand’s words disappeared. He asked, quietly, “What?”

For the first time since Rhysand walked into the room, Bennett looked up and met his eye. “It wasn’t Thorn’s. I bought it. I brought it. It was mine.”

So many thoughts were running through Rhysand’s mind as he tried to make sense of what his eldest child had just told him, that all that came out was, “What?”

Bennett shook his head. “Thorn lied. I don’t know why. He was trying to take the fall, or whatever, so that I wouldn’t get in as much trouble. But, he didn’t know about it until last night. I bought it before we left.”

Feyre’s face fell into her hands as Rhysand yelled, “From who?”

“A friend,” Bennett said, shortly, quietly.

Rhysand opened and closed his mouth so many times he lost count, unsure of what to even say. “Just…give me your phone. Consider Thorn’s punishment yours as well. Your mother and I will talk about this, but you’re on house arrest as soon as we get home.”

Bennett pulled his phone and gave it to him. His

His voice was still quiet as he said, “Yes, sir.”

“Go.” Rhys pointed down the hallway, towards the room he shared with Thorn. “We’ll bring your lunch to you. Both of you stay in there until we tell you to come out.”

Bennett stood and headed for the hallway, but paused before walking down it. Rhysand was still staring at the spot Bennett had vacated, but Feyre turned back to look at where her eldest child stood in the doorway.

Neither of them tried to hide the tears in their eyes as Bennett breathed, “I’m sorry.”

Feyre’s eyes fell shut as she heard his footsteps head down the hallway, and the door opened and closed.

Rhys took off his soaked jacket, hanging it over the closest chair, and walked over to where Feyre stood. Without a word, he wrapped her up in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. He felt her tears through his shirt and hugged her tighter.

“He’s a good kid,” she murmured as if she were trying to remind herself of that. “Why would he even want to—?” She shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

Rhysand stayed quiet because he didn’t either. Bennett had never been one to rock the boat. Sure, he wasn’t as straight-laced as Luna, or as reckless as Thorn, but he was still a good kid. He focused on his studies, was intent to get into a good college the following year. He’d only had detention twice his entire academic career, both for stupid reasons.

“Maybe this is his way of acting out,” Feyre mumbled, looking up at her husband.

He hated to see the tears that were shining on her face.

“Maybe,” Rhysand agreed. “I’ll give him some time, talk to him about it more later.”

Feyre nodded and buried her face in his chest. “Do you think it’s because we don’t give him enough attention?”

“He’s seventeen, he doesn’t want attention,” Rhysand said, but when Feyre looked back up again, he could tell she wasn’t buying that.

“He’s the oldest of three,” she said, shrugging. “Since the twins were born, they’ve taken most of our attention. I mean, there’s two of them.”

Rhysand let out a breath and smoothed her hair back. “It’s pot. And he’s a teenager. There are a lot worse things he could be doing, Feyre.”

She lifted a brow.

“I’m not dismissing it, I’m still pissed,” he promised. “I’m just saying… It’s Ben. He’ll be fine.”

“That was a short conversation.”

They both looked over to where Cassian was entering the kitchen, a towel around his waist as he went to the fridge and pulled out a cold can of beer.

“That was a short shower,” Rhysand shot back.

Cassian just nodded as he popped open the top. He was almost back out of the room when Rhys stopped him.

“Cass.”

Cassian slowly turned around.

“Thorn lied,” Rhysand said. “It wasn’t his, it was Ben’s.”

Cassian’s brows furrowed together. “Yeah, that doesn’t make sense.”

Guilt over his earlier thoughts crept into Rhysand’s mind. Thorn is a bad influence. He shook his head. “Thorn’s a good kid, Cass. He had a reason for lying. Talk to him about it.”

Cassian was still for a moment before taking his can back down the hall and into his bedroom to get dressed.

The storm was finally letting up and the sun was starting to break through the clouds. Feyre was wiping her face, still sniffling. “I need to get lunch on the grill. We have too many mouths to feed.”

He nodded. “I’ll get the grill started and go change. I’ll take care of it.” He kissed her forehead, before turning and heading for the door.

Lighting the charcoal, Rhys kept them out of the light drizzle until they were red hot and then spread them out beneath the grates. Closing the lid, he knew it would only take a few minutes for them to heat up, just enough time to change out of his wet clothes and shoes. Re-entering the house, he found Elain had joined Feyre in the kitchen, cutting fruit up and putting it into a large serving bowl. Feyre was focused on her task, but Elain gave him a gentle, sympathetic smile, which he did his best to return. Pulling the kabobs from the fridge where they’d been chilling, he kissed Feyre’s cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

She nodded, continuing to chop, but tried to give him a smile.

As he left down the hallway, Elain bumped her sister’s hip gently with her own. “You okay?”

“I just don’t even know what to say,” Feyre admitted, setting her knife down, resting her elbows on the counter, and rubbing her face. “This is so unlike Bennett and then for Thorn to try and cover up for him…” She sighed, staring at the assortment of fruit on her cutting board. “I knew the teenage years would be hard, but I didn’t think it’d be like this.”

“I did,” Elain said, and from the look on Feyre’s face, she laughed, quietly. “I mean, come on. Remember us when we were teenagers? Or, even worse, the boys when we started dating them? I mean, I don’t even know why I started dating Azriel. He was a hot mess. We were best friends for years, I knew everything.” Feyre chuckled, and Elain went on, “But, even with all the shit we did, we weren’t bad kids.”

Feyre blinked. “You said shit.”

“Yeah, that’s how you know I mean what I’m saying,” Elain said, smiling. She patted Feyre’s knee. “The point is that teenagers are teenagers, and they’re going to do what they’re going to do. Ben’s a good kid. And maybe he’s got a reason for trying it out, you know?”

Feyre stared at her sister. “What do you mean?”

Elain looked around to make sure they were still alone when she said, “Az smoked in high school, and everyone thought he was just the school’s biggest pothead…which, he was…but, he smoked because his mental health sucked, and smoking helped him.” She shrugged. “That was how seventeen-year-old Az chose how to handle it. Maybe Ben has something going on, too.”

Feyre nodded, slowly. “Rhys just did it for fun. I doubt he’s going to be very receptive to the idea of our seventeen-year-old son smoking for medicinal reasons. Or even understanding.”

“Why don’t you let Az talk to him?” Elain offered. “He might understand a bit more and maybe even have something he used as an alternative in high school. That’s when he got into music, it helped ground him. Maybe Bennett needs something like that, and maybe talking to someone who isn’t his mom or dad would help.”

Feyre considered it for a second, but finally nodded, and said, “But only if he wants to. I don’t want Az doing something he thinks he has to.”

“He won’t mind,” Elain smiled, going back to chopping. “Your kids are our kids, Feyre. When one of them is hurting, we all are. You know that.”

Feyre rested her head on Elain’s shoulder. “Why couldn’t my kid be the one having naughty video chats? That would have been so much easier.”

Nesta entered the kitchen from the hallway and popped a piece of watermelon into her mouth. “Yours could have been the one who’s already done jail time this weekend. Count your blessings.”

Feyre stood and hugged Nesta. “I’m sure Cassian told you Thorn covered for Ben. I don’t know why, but the fact that he tried to protect him means a lot.”

Nesta nodded, almost as if she hadn’t been surprised by the news. “Thorn is still in deep shit, like more trouble than he’s ever been in, but we’ll handle it when we get home. Cass is going to try to calmly talk with him later. We’ll see how that goes.”

Rhys rounded the corner and grabbed the plate, heading for the grill, and Feyre followed him. The rain had finally stopped and as he placed the kabobs over the hot coals, she stepped closer.

“Azriel is going to talk to Ben later,” she said, rubbing her hands on her arms. The rain had dropped the temperature significantly and it was almost chilly now.

“Why’s that?” Rhysand asked, closing the lid and turning to face her.

“See if there’s a reason why he’s smoking weed,” Feyre said, plainly.

Rhysand watched her for a moment, and she couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind, but then he asked, “You think he’s depressed?”

“I think it’s worth talking to him about,” Feyre said. “Elain brought up a good point. That it may be easier to talk to someone who isn’t us.”

“And if he’s just smoking because he likes to smoke?” Rhys asked.

Feyre cupped his face with her hands. “Then he’s more like his dad than we thought, hmmm?”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss her.

“Oh, it shouldn’t,” Feyre said, against his mouth. When they pulled apart, Feyre sighed. “It’s only lunchtime. Today has been too eventful for it to only be lunchtime.”

Rhysand agreed as he opened the lid and rotated the kabobs.

Lunch passed, and everyone came and ate and filled themselves up - with the exception of Thorn and Bennett. Elain had brought plates to their room, but neither of them had come out.

As the weather cleared up, though, the rest of the kids decided on spending the afternoon outside, even if they wouldn’t be getting on the boat.

Cassian was the only one left inside, hours later, when that bedroom door finally opened and Thorn came out with his and Bennett’s emptied plates. He went past his father and put them in the sink before cleaning them off.

“Hey,” Cassian said, as Thorn turned off the water.

His shoulders went rigid, but then he turned around and leaned against the counter. “If this is going to be another argument, dad, I’m exhausted-.”

“I don’t want to fight,” Cassian replied, simply. “I do, however, want to know why you lied and said it was yours when it wasn’t.”

Thorn chewed on his lip for a minute. “Because you wouldn’t have doubted it was mine for a second. And you didn't, none of you did. Because Ben is trying to get into a good school and can’t have anything on his record, and I won’t even go to college. Because I’m the fuck up and he’s not.”

Cassian was glad he’d decided to have this conversation when Nesta wasn’t around. Because if his heart felt like it was breaking, he knew Nesta’s would be in pieces.

He approached his son, putting his hands on his shoulders and making him look at him. “You are not a fuck up, and don’t you ever say that about yourself again.”

His eyes fell shut and he looked absolutely defeated. “I am, dad, I just—.”

“Ever. Again,” Cassian interrupted. “I don’t give a shit if you don’t go to college. I didn’t. What I care about is you jeopardizing your future because you think you somehow deserve it.”

He didn’t respond, but he looked up at the ceiling. Cassian could see the silver lining his eyes, the tears he was trying desperately to keep from spilling over.

“Hey,” Cassian said, forcing Thorn to meet his eyes, once more. “Don’t sell yourself short, you understand me? You’re a good kid. Smart, talented, and you obviously love more fiercely than most people do.” Cassian cleared his throat to keep his own voice from breaking. “And you were right. I was drunk or high for most of high school or doing stupid things that got me arrested. Thorn, I messed up more than you ever could, but you know what? I married an amazing woman, who gave me three beautiful children, and all these years later… I’m doing just fine. So, don’t think that you can’t have exactly the life you want. If I could do it, if I could make it here, some bastard-born orphan who almost flunked out and drunk himself out of high school… Thorn, you can do whatever the hell you want. But, first, you have to realize that you deserve it. You deserve the best.”

Thorn angrily wiped at a tear that had fallen down his tanned cheek.

“You have a job, you have straight-A’s, even though you don’t give a damn about college, and you’re one of the most artistic people I know,” Cassian said, quietly. “I’m proud of you. Alright? I’m proud of you, and you are not a fuck up.”

Thorn swallowed roughly and then said something he didn’t say often. “I’m sorry.”

Cassian hugged his son, his son who was just as much a man as he was at this point, and held him tight. “I know you are. I know. You just need to start thinking before acting. It took me a long time to realize that, but it will change your life.” He pulled back and looked at him. It was like looking into a mirror, twenty years in the past, save for the steely, blue eyes that looked back at him. “You are just like me, which is why I’m so hard on you. I know what you can do. I know what you can achieve, but sometimes you have to get your head out of your ass to do it.”

They both quirked a smile at that, but Thorn nodded and hugged Cassian again. When he pulled back, Cassian pretended not to see the tears shining on his face.

Thorn cleared his throat. “Where’s mom? I need to apologize to her.”

“She’s laying down, it’s been…a long weekend. You can talk later,” Cassian promised.

The sliding glass door opened and Azriel poked his head in. He hesitated, but Cassian waved him in. “Thorn, why don’t you go throw the football with your brother? You know he’s worried about his freshman season.”

“I thought I was stuck in my room,” he said, not an ounce of attitude in the words. Just pure curiosity.

“I can make an exception for big brother time,” Cassian said, leading him towards the door.

Azriel patted his brother’s back as he passed and headed for the hallway. He was quiet as he headed for Thorn, Bennett, and John’s room, since Feyre, Nesta, and Elain were all three napping. Gently knocking on the door, he waited for Bennett’s quiet Come in, before slipping inside and closing the door behind him.

Bennett was laying on his bed, tossing a baseball at the ceiling and catching it, before repeating the process. When he saw it was Azriel, he sat up and set the ball on the bed. “Uncle Az.”

“Hey,” Azriel said, simply. “Having fun?”

Bennett gave him a pointed look. “Time of my life.”

Azriel chuckled as he sat on John’s bed and held open his hand. Bennett tossed him the ball. When he caught it, Azriel said, “Heard about your fun morning.”

“I’m not surprised,” Bennett said, simply. “Pretty sure nothing goes on in any of our lives without all six of you knowing.”

Azriel chuckled. “That’s true.

“Look, Uncle Az, I really don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay,” Bennett said. As usual, there was no malice in his voice, only exhaustion.

“You don’t have to talk,” Azriel said, tossing the baseball back, “but, I’d like for you to listen, if that’s okay. And, no, I’m not going to lecture you.”

Bennett raised a brow as he caught the ball, and nodded.

They continued to throw the ball back and forth as Azriel began. “So, I smoked a lot of weed in high school. I mean, a lot. A lot.”

“Didn’t you date Aunt El in high school?” Bennett asked. “And she’s, like, a saint.”

“Both of those things are true, yes,” Azriel said, laughing quietly. “And Elain knew that I smoked, and I was also very open with her about why I smoked.” Azriel caught the ball and flipped it in his hand a few times before tossing it back. “I’ve always dealt with some pretty bad mental health stuff. Now, I’ve learned how to handle it, but when I was your age, I had no idea how to keep my head straight, so I smoked. And, I’m not going to lie to you, it helped. A lot. It calmed me down and it helped balance me out.”

Bennett nodded, slowly, having kept the ball once he’d caught it from Azriel moments before. “And what does this have to do with me?”

Azriel watched his nephew for a moment before saying, “Look, I don’t know how much you’ve smoked or why. Hell, you could smoke all day every day for the fun of it, I don’t know. I just want you to know that if there is a real reason why you’re buying weed, as a minor, then…you can say something about it, and I’ll be here to talk and listen.”

Bennett nodded, still staring at the ball in his hand, but said nothing else. Azriel figured that was going to be the end of the conversation, getting ready to get up and leave him to his thoughts when Bennett spoke.

“I just have a lot on my plate,” he admitted, still not looking up. “I’m studying for all these stupid standardized tests, putting in a different application for college every week, having to write essay after essay, but I never get a letter back. And all of the scholarships I apply for. Not to mention my AP and dual credit classes I’m taking during the year.” He sighed and held up the ball. “Then I’ve got conditioning and in the spring, I’ve got baseball to worry about, which used to be fun, but now it just stresses me out. And when I smoke I can… I can forget about all that shit for a couple hours and be a normal teenager.”

Azriel smirked, but he knew he shouldn’t have. It was just all so familiar. “I get it, Ben. That’s exactly why I smoked, and I was lucky I never got caught. But if you’re as overwhelmed as you seemed, have you considered dropping something to lighten your load?”

“Like what?” He asked, scoffing. “I can’t quit applying for scholarships or colleges.”

Azriel nodded towards the ball in his hand. “Are you trying to get a baseball scholarship? Or is that something you’re doing for fun?”

“I’m not good enough for a scholarship,” he replied, bluntly, and shook his head. “I mostly play it now because it’s expected of me. Cause Dad likes that I play it.”

“What do you think your dad would do if you told him you might want to quit?” Azriel asked, leaning back against the wall.

“Probably accuse me of being a stoner and assume that’s why I wanted to quit.”

“Let’s pretend this morning didn’t happen,” Azriel sighed, holding up a placating hand. “If you told him you genuinely didn’t want to play baseball anymore, what do you think he’d say?”

Bennett shrugged, then thought a moment before saying, “Probably wouldn’t really care, as long as I’m happy.”

“I know for a fact that he wouldn’t care, as long as you’re happy,” Azriel followed. “Ben, I was there the day you were born, alright? Your mom cried, and your dad ugly-cried, and since that day, all they have ever wanted was for you to be happy. If you’re so stressed out that you need an out - an illegal out, at that - something has to change, bud. And, I can tell you with complete confidence that, if baseball is something you feel you need to give up…they’re going to support you.”

Bennett nodded, even though he seemed unsure. “And if I decide baseball isn’t something I can give up?”

Baseball had been a part of Bennett’s life for as long as Azriel could remember. Even with the stress, Azriel knew it wouldn’t be something easy for him to give up. At this point, it was all he knew.

“Then we’ll have to find another outlet,” Azriel said, simply. “Because you can’t be smoking pot at seventeen.”

“And at twenty-one?” Bennett asked, a small, mischievous smile forming on his mouth.

Azriel laughed. “Come back to me at twenty-one and ask.”

“That’s fair,” Bennett said and tossed Azriel the ball. He caught it. “I guess I have some thinking to do.”

Azriel nodded and threw the ball back to Bennett as he pushed himself off of the wall. “We’ll figure something out, but you have to remember to ask for help, Ben. If everything is too much, talk to your parents. And, if you can’t talk to them, come talk to me. You’re not in this alone, and it’s not good to keep things bottled up.”

He nodded, but Azriel could already see the wheels turning in his head. He wasn’t even out of the room, and Bennett was already giving their conversation serious consideration.

He rested a hand on Bennett’s shoulder. “Love you, bud. You know you can always come to me if you need anything.”

He looked up at his uncle, smiling softly. “I know I can. Love you, too.”

He squeezed his shoulder once, before stepping out into the hall and closing the door. He headed out to the porch where he found Rhys and Cass sitting around the table, watching the kids playing what Azriel was almost sure was kickball.

With a football.

“How is he?” Rhys asked, looking over at Az as he sat down.

“He’s okay,” Azriel sighed, but then he admitted. “He’s really stressed. Overwhelmed. Feels like he’s drowning under all of his responsibilities.”

Rhys was quiet, but he nodded. “What should I do?”

“Nothing.” Azriel watched as Lannan tried to tackle John, which basically did nothing, even though the older boy pretended to go down like a sack of potatoes. The kids' laughter could reach them at the porch. “He’s got some thinking he needs to do, needs to decide what’s important to him and what may need to go. But I can tell you one thing.”

Glancing over at Azriel, Rhys asked, “What’s that?”

“He’s terrified of disappointing you. You or Feyre.”

Rhysand frowned. “Bennett never disappoints us.” He reconsidered. “Well, except for this morning, but that’s beside the point.”

“He’s too focused on worrying about what the two of you think, and doesn’t focus enough on what he really wants.” Azriel grabbed a can from the middle of the table and opened it.

“And what does he want?” Rhysand asked, quietly.

Azriel took a drink then said, “I don’t think he knows. Not yet. But, he will. You don’t have to worry about him.” Rhysand snorted. “Don’t worry about my kid? That’s impossible.”

They all nodded in agreement. It was completely impossible not to worry about their children, even on the good days.

“Who the hell decided to have kids?” Cassian muttered. “Parenting is hard. And it somehow gets harder with each year that passes.”

“You knocked up Nesta first, then we all thought Thorn could use cousins,” Rhys said. “It’s your fault.”

Cassian’s grin widened. “Ah, yeah. Shit, I was only twenty when Nes got pregnant. That’s only two years older than Thorn.”

“From the sound of it, he may not be far behind-.”

“Don’t finish that sentence, asshole,” Cassian mumbled, kicking Azriel in the shin from across the table. “I’m not going to be a grandparent before forty.”

“No,” Azriel smiled. “You’re not. We may have raised some idiots, but we raised some good kids. All of them.”

Rhys dropped his head in his hands. “I’m screwed when the twins get to be Luna’s age. They’re already a handful now and we’ve only just scratched the dramatic surface. How am I going to survive four more years of this?”

“In Luna’s defense,” Cassian offered. “She’s the only one who didn’t do something illegal this weekend. Both of our boys did. So hopefully that means girls are easier.”

“Absolutely not,” Azriel scoffed, drinking almost half of his beer in a big gulp. “They’re an entirely different kind of difficult. And let me tell you, nothing is worse than seeing your baby girl cry.”

“We’re going to have grey hair before we’re fifty,” Rhysand sighed, letting his head fall back. “And that’s if we don’t pull it all out.”

“I think Cass already has a few,” Azriel said, pulling on the ends of Cassian’s hair.

“Asshole,” Cassian repeated, muttering, and finished off his drink before opening another one. “And, yes, they’re from bailing Thorn out of jail on Friday.”

The other two chuckled, and they looked out at their kids, all playing together in the yard under the darkening, cloudy sky.

“You know, this weekend got off to a rough start,” Cassian began. “Shit, this morning got off to a rough start….but,” he nodded out to the yard. “This is why we do this every year.”

Azriel nodded, and it was Rhysand who said, “We have a lot of years left of it, too. Even after the kids are grown and out on their own, every year, we’re making it happen.”

“Absolutely,” Cassian said, holding his drink out in front of him, waiting for the other two to tap their cans against it. “To traditions, no matter how they change from year to year.”

Azriel and Rhysand smiled at each other and they toasted to another year at the lake.

It may have been a year like no other, but it was time spent together.

Proof that family was more important than anything else.