#so I can be an “appropriate” age to experience all my favorite media as it releases and interact accordingly

[captain-crowfish]

They say to never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM but it's always before 9PM somewhere. Anyway I think I might be a therian

[istanchan]

Are Pat and Kawi “bad characters”?

I usually don’t go on TikTok to read discourse about shows. But I happened to stumble across this while looking for edits and it just made me so frustrated.

So op made a post about how they can’t stand Pat and Kawi from step by step and be my favorite. They went on to talk about how they don’t even understand how Jeng and Pisaeng deal with their respective partners. Honestly I didn’t really feel like talking about it but with the tens of other people agreeing with them I couldn’t stop myself.

There’s a lot to unpack here but starting off with explaining why the two characters act the way they do helps.

With Pat I feel that most people who watch the show forget that there is a 10 year age gap between the characters (and the actors). While that may not seem like a lot, the fact that Jeng is Pat’s superior and his social class plays into their dynamic and Pat’s behavior. I am more convinced now then ever that the purpose of Step By Step was to portray a realistic representation of how it would be to date your boss. It’s messy and hard to work through. Pat’s character at times is an emotional wreck, I’m not going to deny that, but he still manages to be mature even when his boss and his partner (I don’t think it’s appropriate to label jeng as his boyfriend) isn’t. Jeng completely disregards reality in episode 10, he leaves Pat to handle the brunt of the gossip. Pat after trying to talk with Jeng to mediate the situation, ends up doing what he thinks is best. His character is raw and real and messy at times but I enjoy watching it nonetheless.

As for Kawi, I feel that it’s not fair to judge his character right now since only 6 episodes are out and we haven’t really gotten to the climax of the show. His character is still growing and learning. But honestly in my opinion Kawi as a character is easier to comprehend and understand than Pat. I don’t think Kawi acts completely unreasonable. He does makes mistakes but he tries his best to fix them and better himself. Again like in step by step there is the factor of social class that comes in between Pisaeng and Kawi. Pisaeng is rich and is well known around campus. Kawi struggles to see how a guy like Pisaeng could like him.

It seems this is the common denominator for Pat and Kawi—their insecurities. And to me that’s a completely reasonable factor. For us as the audience it’s easy to rule out what behaviors we would want to change or fix with character we watch, but if we were in their shoes would act completely dissimilar? Life isn’t black and white, and making the right choices isn’t alway easy. I feel that many shows and especially these two show this.

This whole discussion takes me to this wonderful post that I think about all the time when I’m watching BL shows now:

By/For/About Queers Part 1 &

By/For/About Queers Part 2

Both be my favorite and step by step have proven to realistically portray queer experiences. While be my favorite still has way to go I’m surprised by how the writers handled Pisaengs road to discovering his identity. Talking about BL shows in the light of which ones are really for queer or and not just about queer people changes the perspective. I think this plays a small role in why these two shows may be hard to understand the characters pov. Many people that watch BL shows aren’t queer and even some who are, don’t watch BLs for to sympathize with a queer perspective. Many just use BLs as a way to escape this heteronormative world, and that’s honestly completely okay. I do it too sometimes. But that doesn’t undermine characters like Pat and Kawi or even Jeng and Pisaeng.

At the end of the day each person is entitled to enjoy media however they wish, that’s the beauty of the internet. So I don’t have any animosity towards op and all the commenters. I’m glad they have a different opinion so I can share mine.

[polyamorouspunk]

hi sorry this is a genuine question, i dont mean to be offensive im just kind of confused! ive always been told labeling things that have mature content is good, so people can avoid it, even if theyre not following you they can avoid it in the tags or if someone they follow reblogs your stuff without warning. and that stuff thats about death, violence, and other horror content is mature since children shouldnt be exposed to that stuff and even adults might be uncomfortable with it since not everyone likes horror or death, so as a horror writer ive always made sure to label all my writing and posts accurately no matter what site im on so everyone can avoid it. i feel like im missing something pretty big bc i cant figure out how that stuff doesnt apply on tumblr but im seeing a lot of posts like yours really upset that your stuff is labeled accurately and i know everyones gotta have a good reason for being upset im just having a hard time figuring out what it is and if you could explain in more detail id really appreciate it! if not thats fine i hope youre having a good day anyway!

Reporting someone else’s content for mature themes is basically narcing on them. You as a user are responsible for your own media experience: if you don’t want to see horror themes, don’t (in this case) follow a blog (me) that posts horror themes or search through the tag of a band (INK) that posts horror themes. Because of tumblr’s fucked-up-ness when you click the links in my masterpost to the posts I’m making they take you off the app. That means that if you get re-routed you can’t have the option to see if the post without signing in which can sometimes loop between the app and the website causing your stuff to crash.

I tag my stuff appropriately. If I answer an ask about SA or CSA or whatever I will tag it. This is literally song lyrics. That’s it.

I’m also a horror writer and I tag and add labels to my horror stuff as well.

But narcing on someone else’s post to a really sketchy corporation (aka Tumblr) is a huge breach of trust and is very scummy and boot-licky. I, personally, have made it very clear that INK is my favorite band, so if someone has an issue with me posting literally just INK lyrics and not even graphic images then that’s their job to unfollow me 👌🏻 forgive me if I disagree that song lyrics that include the word “die” are “accurately” tagged as “mature”. “Children” aren’t even allowed to be on this website (minimum age requirement is 13). You step into an adult space you respect that it’s an adult space. Don’t go to pornhub if you’re 13 and you don’t want to see porn. Don’t go to a place where people post horror content if you don’t want to see horror content: OR take the time to curate YOUR dash so you don’t see it instead of narcing on creators. Creators are going to stop giving you content if you’re slapping problematic labels on them with minimal reason:

[cordycepsfem]

Hello! You reblogged a post about "bi" women who don't like vulva (https://www.tumblr.com/cordycepsfem/743621467814674432). Your blog is one of my favorites and I was curious about your thoughts on my situation.

I'm a woman and I consider myself to be bi, but I am disgusted by penis. I do think it's weird when a woman who doesn't like vulva says she is bi, but then I feel like a hypocrite by doing the opposite. I don't think it would be appropriate to call myself a lesbian, though. I still find some men attractive, just not their genitals and I wouldn't be able to have a sexual relationship with a man because of that specific lack of attraction. When I am attracted to a woman, I am attracted to the whole woman. I've been told I just haven't found the right man yet, but there have been men I've cared deeply for. When I try to think about having sex with them, I feel sick. I don't feel sick when I think of women that way. I am a virgin, if that matters.

I always hear about the "bi but eww pussy" stereotype, but never the opposite. Do you think a woman can be unattracted to male genitals and still be bi? I don't mean this as a gotcha, I am just genuinely confused and value your opinion if you wouldn't mind sharing it. Thanks in advance if you decide to answer this! :)

Thank you for your kind words. While I am glad you enjoy my blog, I have to admit that I am not really a font of information on all things lesbian or bi, and would have a hard time telling you how best to proceed. I will move forward with the information I do have, and you may take what you wish.

I existed as a mostly-asexual being until I was in my twenties. When my same-age girl cousins or peers would say a boy looked "cute" or "hot," I never had any idea what they meant. I never saw something in a boy that gave me any special feeling, no matter how many movie stars or boy band members had captured their hearts.

My family was (and still is somewhat) Catholic, and when I was younger I could never see myself married to a man. I didn't know about gay or bisexual people, and I thought the only way to have children was to marry a man and reproduce heterosexually. I have always wanted to be a mom, and I look forward to that in my life now, but back then I was told the only way was marriage to a man. The thought of living with a man, sharing a bed with a man, and having sex with a man was utterly repellant to me when I considered it seriously at the age of 12 or 13. I gave a lot of consideration to becoming a nun.

I got really sick around the age of 14 and the treatments I had between 14 and 22 really fucked up those ages, so I pretty much just worked on surviving. But eventually I was maybe 23 or 24, and I went to a local store and saw a woman who was just... beautiful. She was nerdy, and ticked all these boxes that I now know are qualities I'm attracted to. I asked if they had a certain item I'd been looking for and she checked, spent time with me, offered to order it... nothing more than a great customer service representative, but I was... fascinated. I suddenly had all these feelings that I didn't understand.

But then I also had all of these experiences that suddenly made sense. I'd always preferred "strong female character" types in shows and movies and books. I always wanted to be best friends with the female lead in media, not dating the male lead. I had intense friendships with girls, especially in high school. And now here I was finding a woman attractive for the first time - realizing that I was attracted to someone blew my mind.

I now have a girlfriend for the very first time in my thirties. (It is amazing. I am a big fan.) She is helping me to think very openly about attraction and arousal and how to explore sexuality. Her work will now help me to come to my conclusion here, which is:

I think only you can be in charge of what you call your sexuality (obviously). But if you are only attracted to men by basis of looks or personality, and know that you would not have sex with them, to me that doesn't seem like a full experience of sexuality. Sexuality, for many people, involves the desire to have sexual and romantic experiences with a partner, and it probably would be really hard to have a full relationship with someone who you wouldn't want to engage in sex with, unless that was something you were both wanting, and you felt your connection was more emotional.

I have also found certain men appealing for many reasons - they're a good singer, or they're funny, or they look really sharp in a suit, or I liked them in that one movie - but I don't ever see, nor have I ever seen, a relationship with a man going further than a cherished friendship. I have no desire to engage with one romantically or sexually. If you feel the same way about men, and are wholly attracted to only women, I feel like that's your answer. But again, I can't label how you feel, only offer my thoughts.

People who say "You haven't found the right man yet" need to mind their own business, and perhaps look to their own homophobia. It is possible to do so, because my 88-year-old devoutly Catholic Irish grandmother has yet to tell me to find a man and I am in my mid-thirties. If you aren't looking for a man, why would it matter if you found the right one or not?

However you choose to identify your sexuality, you seem very certain of what you do and do not want, and that will help you figure things out. Please let me know if I can offer a listening ear. I am grateful you were able to share your experience with me.

[dragthemovies]

To Wong Foo... a Brief Review

Hello and welcome to the first official post of Cinema’s a Drag! I will be talking about various movies and media that has showcased the popular queer art form known as DRAG over the years! This post is dedicated to the 1995 film To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar starring Patrick Swayze as Vida Boheme, Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson, and Jon Leguizamo as Chi-Chi Rodruigez. The opening sequence shows the process of Vida and Noxeema getting into drag for the regional Drag Queen of The Year pageant and ends with the introduction of Chi-Chi being harassed on the street for presenting as femme and holding her wig in her hand. Vida and Noxeema are announced the dual winners and are crowned by the reigning queen Rachel Tensions (played by RuPaul) while sporting a sequined confederate flag gown. The first 10 minutes of this movie bring up 3 points for me:

The sequence of the queens “Dragging up” is familiar to anyone who has done drag, and it’s such a small and playful scene that doesn’t particularly advance the story, but it feels like we are on screen from Vida putting her wig on and saying, “Here comes Mama” to dancing along to I am Body Beautiful by Salt-N-Pepa while putting makeup on. It is very clear that there are drag queens on the producing team that helped share this story as authentically as possible (with straight cis-men playing queer characters, but that’s for a different analysis).

While upsetting, Chi-Chi’s first appearance on screen is also a familiar experience to drag queens and other queer people who present their gender identity differently than they are “expected” to. One could ask “why wouldn’t she wear the wig to ‘pass’?” Those who don’t do drag may not know that drag wigs can be fragile and even hard to see withWe were introduced to her character as a young and outspoken person who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself even when she’s being faced with a possible violent situation.

Rachel Tension’s entrance is as problematic as it is iconic. We all know the significance behind the confederate flag and have known for a long time. This speaks to one of the properties of drag that goes against “the norm” or what is appropriate. A black queen wearing a notoriously anti-black pattern with the name Rachel Tensions is a great example of a drag concept being perfectly executed… there’s humor, there’s a bit of shock, and a WHOLE lot of glamor.

To not spoil the WHOLE movie I want to cover some of my favorite or important moments and scenes.

When the queens are picking a car from the used car lot to drive from New York to Los Angeles, they see a yellow Cadillac convertible and are enamored by how beautiful and fabulous they look in it. The car dealer explicitly warns them that it won’t get them to California, and they should take a (might I add dingy looking) gray Toyota Corolla. The queens ask the age-old question, “Style or Substance?” and a high energy driving montage of the Queens cruising down the highway.

When Vida drives through her affluent hometown, Chi Chi, who grew up in a low-income neighborhood, could not wrap her head around why Vida would leave a place with so much to offer. Vida explains “Vida gave all of this up to be Vida.” This gives us a window into Vida’s life and her queer roots. Many queer people come from many different walks of life, but there has unfortunately been a constant in many young LGBTQ+ peoples upbringing of being turned away from their own homes just for being queer.

During the road trip, Noxeema starts to read Chi Chi for not being experienced or polished enough to be a drag queen. In this (outdated and less than politically correct) scene, the ladies set up Chi Chi’s character progression for “polishing her up” to be what drag is to them. This scene stuck with me personally because when I first saw it, it gave me an opportunity to look at my own drag progression up to that point and see where I feel I am. I feel a sense of accomplishment every time I “level up” my drag in my own way.

Sherriff Dollard character is a very interesting take on homophobes. The blatant hypocrisy and disrespect with a hint of curiosity bubbling beneath the surface really makes him more comical than offensive (except for the racial slurs). From groping Ms. Vida to calling them perverts for wearing dresses. When he went to a bar, he was rambling about gay people in detail about what he thinks they do in private, which could be more of a window into his imagination or even history, although it’s never explicitly stated.

While the queens are getting to know the townspeople, the women mention their upcoming “Strawberry Social” and the queens help them put together a “girls day out” with makeovers at the beauty parlor, and new outfits at the local store. I specifically love when Noxeema falls in love with a burnt orange/auburn fringe 2 piece set that is also very much my taste.

There are plenty more iconic scenes, lines, and reads that I couldn’t cover in this post alone. To see them, To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar is available anywhere you can rent films. I hope you check it out, thanks for reading!

[bloodyke]

1, 2, 21, 22 for the ask game!!

1. whats your favorite thing to rant/ramble about?

okay so i have autism AND adhd so i have a lot of opinions and things to say about almost everything so i go on nightly 1-2 hour rant about whatever topic i feel like and my parents just have to listen to it lmaooo. some topics that come up a lot tho are my favorite pieces of media (i.e cql/mdzs, vampire fiction, ptg, games i played recently, movies i watched recently, etc etc), my oc lore, new marine bio/astrophysics/science facts i learned, things that piss me off, and politics (which is usually inder the things that piss me off category)

for example tonight i ranted about how much i hate new age spirituality/wicca/metaphysical manifestation stuff and how its all right wing racist appropriation conspiracy bs which turned into me talking about various LEGITIMATE folk religions and practices that ive been researching which turned into me talking about creatures in those practices that scare me which turned into me ranting about how terrible horror movies are recently which turned into me ranting baout how terrible horror video games are recently which FINALLY turned into me explaining the entire plot and mechanics of Pathologic and why it is ranked as one of my top three games of all time despite it being objectively One Of The Worst Video Game Experiences Of All Time (which was done on purpose by the developers theatre of cruelty style)

2. do you have any oddly specific love languages?

i have two! one is if we are in close physical proximity to you i will learn what your specific like superstition? not the word im looking for but whatever ANYWAYS ill learn what superstition you have about good luck/having a good day and whenever i see you're having a bad day ill sneakily arrange for that thing to happen to you so you feel better

like for example if you think that finding a penny in your pocket means you're gonna have a good day ill sneak a penny into your pocket!

my second one is i LOVE making gift packages for people i care about like if i find stuff that reminds me of said person i will collect them so i can send a big bundle of stuff their way! and it doesn't necessarily have to be stuff i bought like ive personally sent you flowers that i pressed myself and ive sent sandy bread i baked from scratch with a handwritten letter on paper i made myself etc etc etc it just makes me happy to give people a whole package of stuff perfectly tailored for them

21. whats a random piece of advice you want to give?

theres a lot i can say here that ive typed and deleted a bunch of times bc i couldnt choose just one thing to say and i also didn't want to get up on a soapbox and start preaching so i guess ill just leave it as: nice is not the same thing as kind, kind is not the same thing as correct, nice and kind are not the same things as just. you do not have to be polite or kind to be good and sometimes to do the right thing it is necessary to be abrasive/rude/a bitch

22. do you like wearing nail polish?

i like the idea of nail polish but in reality i physically cannot stand the sensation 😔😔😔

[spaceyflowers]

HI ADRIEN i have a few questions for you hehehe

what’s your favorite desert ?

do you like scary movies ?

what's your favorite tv show or movie ?

and do you have a comfort song ?

HI JUNE !!

fave dessert: just to change from a prev answer, i really like these cakes <3 no idea what they're called (if there's even a name for em) all i know is theyre from kfc and sometimes my mom can find em in a store 😭

about scary movies: i LOVE scary movies and anything horror related but at the same time im such a damn wimp 😭😭😭 i'll be unable to resist scary media and then later i'd think, "why did i do that to myself." 😭😭

fave tv show/movie: used to be a tv kid but i grew out of it so i dont watch much tv nowadays! (johnny test was a fave when i was younger lmfao) as for movie, it's turning red !! the asian rep, the depiction of the very real experience of being a "cringey" pre-teen (saying that lightly; i think anyone, no matter their age, should be allowed to enjoy whatever they want without it being seen as cringe as long as they're appropriate about it!), and generational trauma 💔

comfort song: 8TEEN by khalid - as someone who feels like they grew up a little too quickly, songs that capture the experience of youth are so so comforting to me T_T 💖💖💖

[ganhumara]

guidelines

before interacting.

About the writer: Marianne, 29, she/her, EST. I’ll answer to Ani or Mari, as well. This blog will feature triggering material, including plot-appropriate violence, sex, drug/alcohol use, discussion of abuse, and other potentially triggering content. I will tag all common triggers, and almost anything I am asked to tag (formatted as #tw: [trigger]). Please take care if you follow!

Please tag cancer, sexual violence of any kind (including ‘dubious consent’ and somnophilia), and images of spiders.

on interacting & following.

This blog is mutuals only. If I follow you, I want to write with you! OCs, multimuses, and crossovers are always welcome! I don’t make starter calls, so if we’re mutuals please feel free to send memes, turn meme replies into threads, message me to plot, or like my plotting call if you’d like to interact.

My time is limited and this is for fun and I will not follow, unfollow, or block users as I see fit. If I unfollow or block, it’s simply because I don’t want to see something on my dash; it’s not a personal statement against someone. For my own comfort, I will only follow back writers who are 21+ and have that age range present on their blogs. If I unfollow because your blog has been inactive for a while, please let me know when you come back! I don’t experience duplicate (character or face claim) anxiety or insecurity.

Standard rules apply: don’t romanticize Nazis, don’t be an asshole about “dark themes” (which can be written well & respectfully), and don’t guilt and manipulate your followers. I won’t interact with portrayals that engage in whitewashing or racist recasting, or transphobic recasting. I don’t enjoy writing with characters that are completely devoid of flaws, vulnerabilities, or weaknesses; it’s just not any fun for me when the rules of whichever universe we’re playing in don’t apply to one of the characters involved.

I don’t have a lot of patience for public nastiness. Everyone vagues from time to time, and that’s not a huge deal, but everyone here is an amateur and publicly disparaging another amateur’s harmless work — which has been presented to you without layers of editing by various professionals — doesn’t make you funny or interesting, it makes you kind of an asshole. We’re all too old for this. On that note, I’m not interested in seeing callouts that amount to airing personal grievances.

on canon & fandoms.

There is simply too much media adapting Arthurian legend for me to possibly consume it all. As I read and watch, I'll add verses for portrayals I enjoy, often with the intent of adding or expanding Guinevere's role. My canon for this blog will be a blend of various retellings, as well as academic analyses, all of which I'll cite and will happily share. As of right now, this is where I'm beginning, and I'll develop my own bibliography in time.

In general: I will often use Tennyson as a touchstone. I will not utilize anything from the Mists of Avalon or any related works.

I love crossovers and AUs and have a million of them. Any verses with significant canon divergence, or significant canon intervention, will have extended biographies available to read. There are only a handful of fandoms I will not interact with, for my own comfort and preferences. Find the list here.

on relationships.

I love playing with established relationships of any nature. Come and plot with me if you want to jump right into a dynamic of any kind! I am always open to new ships — I love shipping, and it’s one of my favorite things about collaborative writing. You are always welcome to approach me to talk about ships; it’s not force-shipping in the slightest, and chances are, I’m already excited about it. I won’t write incest (relationships between second cousins, or closer), and while I am very comfortable writing complicated relationships, I won’t romanticize abuse or toxicity, or write explicit abuse scenes.

Here’s a quick rundown on my shipping policies.

on content.

Please understand that the source material I draw from deals with potentially triggering material, including (but not limited to) violence, sex, drug/alcohol use, and abuse. All of these topics will be dealt with on this blog with care and gravity, and will be appropriately tagged. Please take care of yourself!

All NSFW images and text will be tagged as #nsfw; and will neither write nor reblog NSFW content regarding minors.

My formatting is minimal and I don’t use icons often, or unless requested. I use the beta editor. I don’t care about perfect grammar or spelling, and will ask if I need clarification on anything. I won’t follow anyone sacrificing accessibility for aesthetics, including with photoshop replies, impossible-to-see icons, and purple prose excessive to the point of being incomprehensible.

If you are uncomfortable with anything you see here, please let me know. I am not perfect and I am sure I’ll make mistakes; if that happens, and you’re comfortable, tell me, and I’ll make every effort to fix it and to be better in the future, in the case of me doing something harmful.

credit.

exclusives and mains.

[tinyhockey]

alright, just a general psa (that may or may not be related to the umich discourse)

now. i have been on tumblr for ten goddamn years. i have been around, i have seen some shit. this is not meant to come down on anyone; this is not aimed at anyone in particular. this is just my take on how we can all strive to do better and have a positive social media experience.

number one: tag your posts. the tags are not just there for decoration and jokes. they're meant to organize not just your blog, but the dashboards of anyone else following you. for example, i really like the bruins! they're one of my favorite teams. if a friend of mine doesn't like the bruins, that's not an insult against me. it just means they would prefer not to see them on their dash. the easiest way to avoid me feeling like i'm annoying my friend, and my friend disliking seeing bruins posts on her dash, is for me to tag posts i reblog with the player's name or the team. i still get to post what i like, and they get to avoid seeing things they don't enjoy.

number two: use the filtering feature. on mobile, it's settings > general settings > filtering. on desktop it's settings > account, then scroll down until you see filtering. there is nothing wrong with not wanting to see something on your dash! however, you cannot control what other people post. what you can do is control what you see. in fact, the filtering even makes it so if a word is even mentioned in a post, it shows up as hidden on your dash. again using the above example, it wouldn't be right for my friend to insist i stop posting the bruins. but if they filter bruins content out, they get to have a more pleasurable experience while allowing me to keep posting what i love.

now. all of that being said, regarding umich specifically. (putting this below the cut so this post doesn't take up half your dash, lol.)

like most things, the umich fandom exists on a spectrum. i personally don't think there's anything wrong with existing in basic fandom - following their public social medias, enjoying posts from the official umich pages, making gifs or edits. and i don't think there's anything wrong with finding these guys cute! where it can start to get weird is when fanfiction gets involved. now, is all fanfiction bad? absolutely not! people should be allowed to fantasize and write about boys they find attractive.

where it does get weird is with the sexualization of these players. you can say "oh but they're all over 18, so it's okay!" on a legal front, yes. but legality is different than appropriateness. saying "owen power is so cute!" is different than saying "i want owen power to [explicit] me with [explicit] until i [explicit] [explicit]." again, there's not necessarily anything wrong with feeling these emotions, but there's really not a need to make them public. tumblr is a fairly private website but there is not an ironclad gate to get in. people can still see your posts, especially if they're left untagged.

and that's one of the main things - this spectrum very much depends on age. like, i'm 23. most of the people i follow on tumblr are around 18-24. but if you're 17, 16, 15, god forbid younger - please take as close a look as you can at what you choose to post and consume. nhl players have a public life - they're constantly in the media, they know basically what to expect. but for these college students: they're just that. students. they're not celebrities, no matter how many followers they have or how popular they are on tumblr. they're just people. put yourself in their shoes and imagine if you had a fandom of people obsessing over where you were, how you spent your time, who you were hanging out with. or even posting really sexual messages, down to full on smut stories involving you. even if you only saw a glimpse of that, wouldn't that feel strange to you?

all of this being said, if someone is of age, in college and finds these hockey dudes nifty: have at it. post what you want! no one should be there to gatekeep what you can and can't post. however, it'd be really nice if you tagged what you do post, just so those who aren't interested don't have to participate. and if you don't want to participate, that's fine too! but there's not really a reason to make fun of, insult, or alienate those that do. filter the tags and posts you want to, and move on.

at the end of the day, we're all trying to get through life on this hellscape rock. you choose what you post, and you choose what you consume. make the safest and best choices you can. that's all anyone can really ask for.

[lamphoera]

i’ve observed a certain pushback recently against fandom and shipping culture and, to be fair, i absolutely understand why. some people who engross themselves in certain circles have fandom and shipping becomes the only lens through which they understand narratives, or it’s touted as the superior one -- at best i think this is a shameful loss of like, robustness of experience in a lack of willingness to engage with certain things, and in the worst cases i find this to be extremely tasteless and disrespectful to an original work and intentions which doesn’t lend itself to fan appropriation (and i say appropriation neutrally, because i think appropriation is also what gives rise to the best aspects of fandom culture).

it’s like, i enjoy shipping. i also hate talking about my favorite things with people who are concerned with nothing other than shipping because it’s exhausting, because there are other things i also find interesting about stories. there are stories for which i’m disappointed that most of the people i see approach through like a, transformative fandom mindset because the significance of it to me is entirely in how the work itself is put together. this isn’t even getting into the whole laundry list of other frustrations and criticisms i have with fandom that have, at least to some degree, contributed to me not really participating in it anymore. like, i get it?

what i find. idk, bizarre. offputting. missing the point??? is how a lot of people who have these criticisms, which are at least in my opinion legitimate and worth getting people to consider, make it an issue of, idk how to explain this, habit and not hierarchy. the base issue is not that people engage in doing fandom things like shipping or writing fanfiction -- and i get that people have criticisms with the way people make these things or the quality of them or the way they are valued but can you really make an argument against the bare concept itself lmao? -- but that in some spaces this arguably narrow lens is perceived as the only path to engage with art. so by this logic we should be encouraging people to like, expand their horizons, right?

except the vast majority of posts i’ve seen about this are much more about talking about the inferiority of doing fandom stuff, which is characterized as inherently juvenile and unintellectual (i question both the truth of this and the valuation of it), than getting people to, like, approach media analysis in a certain way -- the rejection of fandom rather than the embracing of evaluating art non-transformatively. the throughline is not that fandom is flawed, but that fandom is cringe. it’s very transparent that it’s primarily about asserting the superiority of the poster’s taste, intellect, and morals. this is frustrating to me because i care about the issue being used as a cover for this, idk, weird culture war. and like, i don’t think it’s a fault at all to advocate for your tastes or to have pretentious tastes, i just wish people would be honest.

musing from the place of a person who is like actively having this experience: i think a lot of these posts are made by people who spent their formative years totally engrossed in fandom and have since drifted from fandom and really found an identity in engaging with media in other ways, probably having to do with reading and analysis. it feels, in part, like this behavior is an overperformance of maturity, an assertion of adulthood through rejecting childhood. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that “30 year olds in fandom” (yes i know some people are shitty but is that really what you’re concerned with when you say this in this context?) are brought up pejoratively so often; the antithesis of who you want to be in the future when you’re a early 20-something unsure of your place in life and not feeling like an adult despite your age is somebody who has not changed from a lost child, who has failed to grow up -- if fandom represents your juvenile self then somebody older than you who has not "developed” from what you perceive as the juvenile is to be rejected at all costs. the zeitgeist of tumblr, or at least the side of it i have a view into, seems to be about here, as ppl who were here as teens during the heyday of fandom age.  also i think the YA/adults who read YA (another thing there are numerous legit criticisms of but i think people stupid about how and why they criticize it) pushback is a product of the same thing

idk there isn’t a conclusion to this i was just thinking about things.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[gedankenspaziergang]

Diversmagazin Interview  Translation

Diversmagazin released an interview with director Sarah Blaßkiewitz and Head-Writer Jasmina Wesolowski today. Read it here in German.

Jasmina (she/her), DRUCK writer since season four and head writer since season six together with Jonas Lindt. In a writers Room with Paulina Lorenz and Raquel Kishori Dukpa (Jünglinge)

Sarah (she/her) director of the last four episodes from season six

I’m leaving out the general introductory questions.

Alicia: Can you talk about the writing process? And what’s the most important thing for you while writing and telling stories?

Jasmina: We especially wanted the profound exchange with young adults who represent our protagonists. For season six we had the challenge that we wanted to tell the lovestory of a Gambian-German girl and a Vietnamese-German girl, perspectives that aren’t represented in the writer’s room. That’s why we talked a lot to research partners, to make up for our lack of knowledge/ experience, but we also talked to the actors and actresses.

Alicia: Why do different directors work on DRUCK?

Sarah: We try to produce as much in real-time as possible. And of course, we have to pre-produce but still have to work [overlappingly]. While one director is already in the editing phase, the next one already starts to shoot. Another reason is of course, that this way, also in the writer’s room, there’s more space for diversity.

 Alicia: It’s similar to the writer’s room. You’re also dividing the writing of scenes between different people. … Are you working together with racism and LGBTQIA+ experts?

Jasmina: I think we all have blind spots and that it’s absolutely impossible to end up with a perfect result. It was an important first step, that the Jünglinge collective joined. They are big advocates for queer BIPoc representation in German media. They were always present for feedback loops and made all of us, crew, actors and actresses, participate in an anti-racism workshop. We were lucky to have the brilliant author and anti-racism trainer Arpana Berndt, who advised us on these topics. On top of that, we did a lot of research on different topics. I think now it should be the only way to produce movies and shows this way, with an intensive research phase. This way you don’t appropriate the stories of others and also don’t tell inauthentic stories or, in the worst case, use hurtful clichés/stereotypes. It was helpful and needed that Black perspectives were present also behind the camera – Sara as a director, but also in the social media team, make-up department or costume design. But we are also aware that more can be done.

Sarah: It’s important to me to highlight the make-up and costume design department. When I, an afro-German person, joined this project and met other afro-German women in those departments, who can relate to me, the character of Fatou and Ava, I was really glad. I can say from many years of experience that that’s not a given.

 Alicia: How about experts on LGBTQIA+ issues?

Jasmina: To talk a bit about the process: We were set on Fatou being a lesbian pretty early on, and that was already discussed in the earlier writer’s room, where that perspective wasn’t present yet. In the beginning, those were loose ideas, and we had to implement them with the casting. The casting team Raquel Kishori Dupka, Melek Yaparak and Angelika Buschina worked closely with the directors and contacted different institutions and specifically asked for actors and actresses who could be queer. At this age this is of course a super sensitive topic. You don’t want to force young people to [define themselves/come out]. It’s a huge challenge to handle that with care and it was extremely important that the Jünglinge collective was part of the casting process.

But also, apart from the casting process, we profited a lot from the queer people in the writer’s room in the cast.

Sarah: For my part I asked the authors and queer people “What would you like? What is nice? What hurts? What’s important? Or what have I never seen before?” And then I put those different experiences into the different scenes. On top you of course need common sense (?) to portray something that you haven’t experienced yourself.

 Jasmin: I just thought of a small really beautiful example: How Fatou was given these rainbow socks as a Christmas present. You immediately notice, that was the idea of a queer person who knows what non-queer parents give to their kids as gifts. The fans notice: Queer people were in the writer’s room. Or “Ah, these actresses know, what they’re doing.“ And those are the small things that make a difference.

 Alicia: For sure! In DRUCK you notice that queer people were part of this in really subtle ways, and that [resulted] in really nice fan-moments. I can confirm that.

Right now, the community is discussing the conflict between Mailin and Ava a lot. What role does that conflict play for you and what does it teach us?

 Sarah: I’m editing the last episodes right now, so I really feel it, also because you already see the reactions online.

For me, the conflict is important because it shows over a long period of time, that not everything is always only good or only bad. That it takes a lot of time, patience and confrontation to understand all nuances of that kind of conflict.

That Ava could be prevented to outright say what’s bothering her, because we’re talking about a really serious trauma of exclusion. How do you even tell people really personal stuff when you were bullied for years? And now we have that conflict, that seemingly takes forever, and you’re always asking yourself: “Why aren’t they talking to each other?” But it’s only in real time that you realize how hurtful this conflict is. How hurtful it is what they experience. What racism means, and also what it means to [deal] with that topic as a white  German girl. And I think it’s really important that everyone is going through that with this season. That takes time and sometimes hurts. And you don’t always understand Ava and you don’t always understand Mailin. When we really [dedicate ourselves to understand this conflict] then I think, we can experience what for example a person like me experienced their whole adolescence. I’m not saying I was bullied my whole adolescence, and maybe it wasn’t because of the color of my skin, but because of something else. But that went on for half a year. After being bullied in school for half a year you’re not up for school and your classmates anymore. And you don’t talk to them anymore. And if people realize that because of this season then I’m glad. I think it’s really touching that this conflict takes up so much space.

 Jasmina: I found it really interesting what you said about the nuances, because it was a real process for me to learn how many facets this conflict has. And especially that us white people, who grow up in a society with structural racism, have a particular idea about what racism means. And that’s not a detailed and uncritical perspective of that topic: As soon as you call me racist, I feel attacked and start defending myself.

The role that this conflict played for us was to show how incredibly exhausting it is as a Person of Color, to always have to deal with these problems and that there’s a kind of fatigue, that you don’t want to talk (or should want to talk) about certain topics anymore, especially if you have other things going on in your life on top of it.

On the other hand, we have Mailin, who has a strong desire to understand. She’s not aware of her privileges as a white girl. We want to take this journey together, when she starts to realize things and when she goes through different stages; until she understands, what it is really about. We also have an arc there that isn’t finished. Because in real life, you have to deal with some topics over and over again. We think it’s especially important to show that it’s not the job of Black people to explain racism to their white  friends. By now, they have all the resources to educate themselves and to talk with other white people about this topic, to unburden Black people.

 Alicia: That’s really interesting! The lovestory of Kieu My and Fatou is an important part of season six, which many queer young adults love. How is the relationship between Fatou and Kieu My representative for a generation?

Sarah: I can actually also see it in an older generation. When I send the cuddle clip of Kieu My and Fatou to my grandpa, he says “Wow, how amazing that a Viet-German and a Afro-German girl are lying in bed together, talk in German and are in a relationship.” This generation hopefully isn’t alone anymore, for example in the sense of: being the only Afro-German person in a small city. That changed and now we see it in that second and third generation. And that’s why it shows me something very real and beautiful.

 Alicia: Which scene are you really proud of and why?

Sarah: My favorite scene, and one I’m really proud of and that was really important concerning the pressure of school, was with the main character Fatou. It’s about a path of finding yourself from Fatou and a [Reinigungsmoment] with her brother. Two people, who know each other from the moment of their birth, are sitting together. When I read that scene I thought yes, I can relate, I can feel that, and when we shot that, a world opened for me. And that was partly because of the music, which was decided before we shot this scene. Then we shot it and it was fucking cold, but we shot it again and again but every time we really felt it like the first time. And when I now watch that scene while editing, it really is the perfect moment. Every facial expression is perfect, every reaction. And that’s that kind of truthful (?) moment you’re looking for as an actor, actress, director or author. When everything fits.

 (There’s a script for every social media part, What’s App Chats and ideas for social media stories. )

 Alicia: When can we expect the next season and what will it be about?

Jasmina: For now, DRUCK is finished and we have to wait how it will continue. Fingers are crossed and of course we’re hoping for a new season.

[Note by me: We‘re not gonna spiral, Jünglinge looked for more writers, Black writers, on facebook a while ago. Nothing is safe but they probably don’t want to make any promises]

[bebepac]

Derby Girl

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 05/12/21 at 7:22PM EST

This is The Life of Riley Book Two.  To catch up with what you’ve missed so far, please click:

  The Life of Riley- Book Two. 

My Book 2 starts with basically TRR book 1 starts.  

If you’re curious to see the elaborate back story I have created for my version of Riley Brooks Please click: 

The Life of Riley Book One.

It will answer a lot of your questions that are left out of the Canon that PB wrote.  

The Book: TRR

The Pairing:  Liam x Riley

Word Count: 2011

Warnings:  Sexual innuendo

Summary: Riley goes to her first derby.  Liam and Drake make a bet (this episode has a few canon-ish parts. The most you’ll see in my series.) 

Deena is my own character, all others belong to Pixelberry. 

A/N:  I’m on vacation as of yesterday until May 25th.  I plan to do as much writing as i can in this time period.  Hopefully release some chapters of people’s favorites and get back on schedule a little bit with some releases on things people haven’t seen in a bit.  

Riley slowly opened her eyes.   

She thought she had dreamed the whole thing.  She was sure she would wake up in her tiny little apartment with Daniel.  She sat up in the ornately designed bedroom.

She went to peer out over the balcony seeing the beautifully trimmed gardens.  

I really have the chance to win a Prince’s heart. She thought. Last night dancing in the Maze with Liam was the most amazing feeling. Riley could not wipe the dopey grin she had on her face.

There was a soft knock on her door.

Maxwell appeared.  

“Good Morning Little Blossom!  How are you today? You look so happy this morning.”

“I’m great.  I’m still so amazed by this place at times Maxwell.  There’s just so much beauty here. And Liam is here."

“And you get to be a part of this Little Blossom, because of the way he feels about you.  I see the way Prince Liam looks at you.”

“Then why can’t he just say it then?”

“Because that’s not how things are done here with people of his status.  You wouldn’t only be only his choice, but the choice of the people and they have to love you too and they don’t know you.  No one knows who Riley Antonia Brooks of New York truly is.”

Both Riley and Maxwell abruptly turned around to the voice of the person talking in the room.

Smile officially gone. Stolen by the rat bastard with the sneer standing at the door to her bedroom.

“Lady Riley meet my brother Bertrand.”

“The Duke of Ramsford.”

Riley decided since he went with such a formal title even though she was wearing her pajamas she should curtsy.   He seemed stuffy and the antithesis of Maxwell.

He nodded.  “The New Yorker can be trained to fit in here.”  

Riley glared at him.  “I’m not an animal Duke Ramsford.”  

“That remains to be seen.  If the Cordonian people do not fall in love with you, even though he could be Lady Riley, he will not choose you.  Love is not the only thing that matters here.  It’s honestly not even a factor here.  Prince Liam has a duty to his people to pick the most suitable woman to be at his side.  So you, my  dear idealistic girl, must learn to give the people what they want.  The derby today will give you the opportunity to meet the press for the first time.  This will set the tone of how the people will begin to approve of you or disapprove of you.  The Queen is also important here as well.”  

“I think the Queen might potentially be on my side.”  

Bertrand laughed.  “You don’t know The Queen.”  

“I met with her and she wasn’t rude to me. She was actually helpful when you think about it.  She told me to get a feel for the audience that will be watching me and dress for them.  I think that’s helpful advice.”

“You’re right, that is helpful advice.”  Maxwell chimed in trying to release some of the tension.

“You need to get ready. Head to the boutique and make sure you pick something suitable.”

Riley almost didn’t want to go to the boutique after what happened to her the last time.

However, when she walked in, she was greeted by a kind middle-aged woman with a genuinely welcoming smile.

“And you must be Lady Riley.”

“I am.” Riley still had her guard up her voice and body language tight and protecting herself.  

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  

“Oh?”

“I know that the last time you were here, you didn’t have the greatest experience with the staff, and I apologize for that, but if there is anything you need I will be more than willing to assist.”  

“Thank you so very much.”  

Riley smiled.

“It’s no wonder….”

“It’s no wonder what?”

“Why he’s so enchanted with you.  Lady Riley you’re absolutely breathtaking, without a stitch of makeup, and you have such a kind-hearted spirit. I can almost feel it radiate off you.  I was sworn to secrecy, because he couldn’t hide how he feels about you.  Let me know if you need any help picking out something for him.  You’re living your very own Cinderella story right now.”  

It was the nicest anyone had been to her since she landed.  Riley’s eyes filled with tears.  

“Oh no, don’t do that dear.  I know things have been a little rough for you.  The royal life is not easy.  They don’t only fight with words, they fight with glares and  underhanded behaviors.  But I’m here now.  At least here, you will always be treated like the royalty I believe you will become someday.  Now let’s pick out something beautiful for him.”

Riley thumbed through the racks.

"If I may?  I did notice his eyes fall on this dress here.  It looks to be your size, and that color would look like heaven on you."

"Pink is my favorite color."

"Then you should try it on."

This woman Deena, had made the palace boutique an oasis.

Riley tried on the dress staring at herself in the mirror.

"His face is going to be just as pink as that dress when he sees you. That dress was made for you. And since you're going to the derby try this as well."

She gave Riley a white hat.

The hat didn't quite stay on.

Riley laughed. "Big hair goals and hats don't generally mix."

Deena laughed.  "This is true. I think Dolly Parton said it best, if someone tells you hair is too big. Get rid of them, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life!"

"That's a plan!"

“Thank you Deena.”  

“You show them honey. You show them why he’s picking you.”  

Riley decided to be the "Derby Girl" for the day she would straighten her hair. The hat laid perfectly.  

“Little Blossom! You look amazing!”

“Thank you Lord Maxwell,” she responded as Bertrand walked into the room.

“Yes, she picked a suitable outfit to be seen in and for the media.  We should be on our way.”

The whole duration of the ride Bertrand droned on about  royalty, the queen, and the event and the Cordonian Ruby Apple.  

“When you are done with your interview you’re going to go over to the pink tents to watch the race with the other suitors.”  

“Greaaat. Will Prince Liam be dropping by?”  

“Probably not, you’ll see him at the picnic afterwards.”  

“You got this Little Blossom!”

Riley managed to stay cool and calm while talking to the press.  The press deemed her “The Mystery Woman” based on her answers.  It was fitting she thought, because a lot of her life, even for herself, was a mystery to her. All the missing memory gaps she had of her life before the accident, at times, Riley felt she barely knew herself.  

She looked for the pink tents not seeing any, but when she turned she saw Drake heading toward  a tent.   She quickly followed him, leaping inside.  

The Prince jumped to attention, his jaw locked, his body rigid, and his face stern.  She realized what she had done.  He had probably been trained for surprise attacks, and he had to always be alert.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t think..” Riley whispered.  

The prince visibly relaxed. 

“No, on the contrary it’s a very welcome surprise.  How did you manage to get in here?”  

“Playing a game of following the leader.”

The beer Drake was about to drink she pulled from his hand.

“Thanks for the beer Drake, you're too kind.”

Drake looked like he wanted to say something, but  he remained silent.  

Liam lightly cleared his throat.  

“I’m going to….”  

“You don’t have to….”  Riley started to say, but she saw the look in Liam’s eyes.

“Bye Drake.”  She whispered, her eyes not leaving Liam’s.  

Drake walked out letting the tent fall closed.  

He pulled Riley to his lap, softly stroking her hair.  

“You look beautiful.  But you know I love your curls.”

“I know.  I would have had a wardrobe malfunction otherwise if i didn’t straighten it.  My hat wouldn’t fit.”  

“You would have been just as beautiful without it.”  

“I know but it’s the derby and Bertrand was making such a big deal about the derby and looking appropriate.  And even though I know nothing else about derbys I know next to the horse race, number two is woman in hats.  Your hat game must be on point.  Serious hat-age.”

Liam laughed, tightening his grip around her.

“Lady Riley, no one makes me laugh like you do.   I’m always so happy when you’re around.  Not just the things you say, or the way you look at me.  It’s who you are, that radiates off you, and I just feel it wrap around me.”

“And what does that feel like?”

“You feel like sunshine Lady Riley.  Sunshine on a summer day.  The perfect summer day. When you close your eyes and just feel the sun warm your skin, and you are so content to just.....be in that moment.  That’s how I feel when we are in the same space together.”

She softly kissed his lips.  

He began another kiss, but then pulled away too soon.  “As much as I would love to see where this could go, we have to at least watch the race.” Riley slipped off his lap into the seat next to him as he opened the tent.  

Drake came in a few minutes later with new beers.  

Riley was silent, listening to Liam and Drake talk about  the race and their friendly wager, and how she got roped into it she’ll never know.  She was going to be sitting on the back of the loser while they did ten push-ups.  

“Who’s your money on winning the bet, me or Drake?”

Riley winced.  

“As much faith as I have in you Liam, I think Drake might know more about horses and the stables. So my money is on Drake. I’m sorry.”

“Ouch that had to hurt Liam.”  Drake chuckled.

Liam looked hurt. 

“Did you want the truth, or did you want me to lie to you Liam?”

“The truth Lady Riley, always the truth.”  

Annnnd…. Riley was right.

Liam unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it on the empty chair.

He got into a push-up position.

“Lady Riley if you will.”

Riley hopped onto Liam’s back.  Even though he was surprised he still held a tight planked push up position.  

“Lady Riley!”

“God she’s ruthless, are you sure you want this one?”  Drake laughed.

“I’ve been on him before, I knew he could handle it.”  

Liam choked back a laugh for a moment, his form unwavering.

“She’s right, I can handle her.”  

“TMI Brooks!!!”

Liam easily did all ten push ups unbroken.  

When Liam was done  he put on his dress shirt again.  

“Drake will take you back to the other suitors for a late lunch.”

“A sweet little goodbye kiss to tide me over until I'm in your presence again?”

Riley seductively puckered her lips, tapping her index finger against them.  

Liam glanced around  and pulled her to him kissing her.   Her fingers gently tugged his hair as his kiss deepened and his grip tightened around her.

Drake dropped her off with the other suitors.  

“I can’t believe we didn’t even get to see  Prince Liam at all!”   Lady Penelope's voice rang out in annoyance. “I had the best story to tell about my poodles to make him laugh.”  

“Where were you Lady Riley?”  

“I got lost again.  All these places around here look the same.  Drake found me finally and brought me over here to you guys.”

“Lady Riley you need to get it together.  Being late because you got lost won’t look well for you with the media.”    Lady Kiara  shook her head.  

“I’m not sure I believe her.”  

Olivia stepped up to her staring into Riley’s face.  

“Why would I lie?  You saw Drake drop me off here right Liv?”  

“I saw, but something feels off.  I don’t trust you Lady Riley.  Something is afoot.”

“Well, then I guess it’s game on then, Scarlet Duchess?”

“Yes.  Game on.”  

Tags in the comments!

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

[noa-nightingale]

Gay Oar!!! ✨💖 - second post

After I wrote my nerdy little text about the appearance of Oar Oar in the Mansa Musa PH ep (you can find that post here), I naturally also had to write one about Sword Oar appearing in the Smallpox ep.

I honestly should have expected him to show up sooner or later after his boyfriend already did but it still caught me off guard. ✨

I’ll use my beautiful “autisticwatcher” tag for this (and if you also have to say things about Watcher-related autism stuff or autism-related Watcher stuff, feel free to use it too). Here is an attempt to justify it even though this topic probably is not inherently autistic: a) I experience every part of life through an autistic lense and b) the ways I express joy are... let’s say, atypical.

Here’s what I mean by that (and don’t worry, this is going somewhere): I am not a very outwardly expressive person. My face is kind of neutral most of the time (you could call it resting bitch bastard face), I have a voice that is often monotonous, and I don’t like showing strong emotions.

And this is what I did when Sword Oar showed up: I sort of jerked back in my chair and clapped my hands once. Then continued watching the episode with the biggest autistic grin (i.e. with what probably looked like a mild smile from the outside). ✨

Let’s get into it! Once again, it brought me great happiness to write this, and - be warned - some of this stuff is pretty specific. And once again, I did not expect that I would spend my time writing about a sponsorship part. ^-^

Enjoy! 💖

“Okay, moving along! Oh-” - “Oar are we!” Never stop with the oar puns, please. I live for the oar puns.

I think I already talked about Oar Oar’s voice and how much I like it but Sowrd Oar’s voice is equally amazing (sometimes a bit hard to understand but I can live with that - I love that voice). I also enjoyed his soft little laugh in the beginning. It was sweet.

We get a little more info on the Professor who apparently smells like “rotten cotton candy mixed with expired vinegar” (also, the sound effect after that killed me lol). Oof. Didn’t have to expose him like that lmao. I like that Sword Oar says to the Professor “I like you but you are a smelly guy” - confirming that he indeed likes him (I have one or two headcanons about this but I am... not going to mention them here, for reasons I will write about below).

The sponsor for this episode is Scentbird, and Sword Oar starts talking about “smelling seasonally appropriate” which I like - we are transitioning into autumn, the leaves will change soon, it is almost Over the Garden Wall rewatch time (I usually start my annual rewatch in October), and I just like the autumn vibes, the thoughts of pumpkins and colorful leaves and little ghosts. It’s my favorite time of the year. 🍂

Here’s a quote from the episode: “put that light sexy summer fragrances on the shelf in exchange for a thick seductive scent for the colder months”.

Okay okay OKAY you... you can’t do this to me!! >:( I have Thoughts about this, okay? Again, I am not giving you any details here (see below) but I have one or two new ideas about Sword Oar’s and Oar Oar’s relationship, and all this talk about “sexy” and “seductive” is not helping.

Like... not to get too depressed in a post about anthropomorphic oars and a sponsorship but there was a time when it was not even legal to be gay (and that time was not that long ago) and there was a time when I did not see any happy queer representation in any media. (I had Brokeback Mountain and that movie is sad as all hell; it breaks my heart every time I watch it, it is incredibly tragic, and that was pretty much the only thing I saw happening to queer people in fiction when I was growing up - struggle, suffering and death. It does something to a queer teenager, is what I am saying. And you carry that pain into adulthood, even if things do get better.)

And then look at these oars - openly gay, openly in love and openly sexual with each other. Yes I am getting emotional about a goofy little quote in a friggin’ sponsorship part, goddamnit!! Even considering all the things that are better now, queer people still get hurt and harassed and harmed and sometimes killed for being queer, and queer sexuality is still stigmatized, and it means a lot to me to have these puppets who are just so unapologetically gay and talk openly about it.

Maybe all of this is an overreaction to a tiny little quote. But it makes me happy (and sad), and I want to talk about it. ❤️

Moving on! To more queer stuff (it is more lighthearted this time, don’t worry)! :D

He mentions not having arms or legs, and that’s the bane of my existence tbh. You probably know by now that I draw a lot of gay oars art, and I have complained before about the fact that these guys don’t have hands. Do you know how many gentle things I could draw if they had hands? You can’t lovingly hold someone’s face without hands, you can’t intertwine your fingers with them, you can’t hug them without arms. So. Yeah. The audacity! /lh

(Come to think of it, Maizey and Gebra don’t have hands either. Shane Madej, sir, I am begging you, please give your LGBTQ+ characters hands!)

Here is another quote: “Let me give you a rundown of some of the sweet sweet sniffs I’ve been dancing with thanks to Scentbird.” Ugh it sounds so charming. It’s just such a charming way to put it. 🌻

He then lists some fragrances and I especially want to mention Confessions of a Rebell - Morning After, and the quote “hot nights never smelled so good”.

I AM ASKING YOU AGAIN

WHY

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

And again, I won’t go into all the new headcanons and ideas and thoughts I have about these oars and here is the reason - I don’t know how many minors are following me. Like, I don’t want to make this stuff sound too lewd or crass because I think that queer sexuality is already too often seen as something “dirty” instead of something perfectly okay and natural. Still, I will keep some of my thoughts to myself. Let’s just say, I am very fond of... all of this. 😊

Annnnyyyyways, Sword Oar lists a whole lot of other stuff, and I know that he has to talk about the sponsor, but what I am getting from this is, the guy really likes his scents.

He mentions amber+leather, he mentions lavender, and he mentions Gendarme - Sky which is a “complex and sultry blend of bergamot, cardamom and aged leather”, and I now have a few more ideas about what Oar Oar smells like. (Personally, I like “masculine” scents. Wood, leather and the like.)

Watcher has a code again (you can get 30% off). ✨

The last thing I want to mention is this: “you delicious thing, you”. I am not entirely sure if he is talking to the Professor or the audience but I am okay with both. Because a) I already have a headcanon about the oars and the Professor (which I will not talk about here because, again, there are probably some minors following me) and b) ... oh to be called a “delicious thing” by an anthropomorphic gay oar. 😘

That’s it for now. I spent the better part of three hours with this and hey, if you want to do me a favor, be kind to a queer person today (and if you are any flavor of LGBTQ+, please be kind to yourself - you are wonderful). 💖

I did not mean for this whole text to be this emotional and sometimes sad but I don’t mind it either.

Thanks for reading! ✨💕

❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜

Also, here is some of my older art. Seemed appropriate. ^-^

[camille-lachenille]

just some random existential thougths I had in the shower

I use a very gendered language in this post but this is because of the context and the heavily gendered marketing in children's medias

As a child I loved very "girly" books series like the Tiara Club by Vivian French and classics for girls such as the Fairies series by Daisy Meadows (the Rainbow Fairies, the Dance Fairies, etc) and watched a lot of disney pricesses movies. That's clearly not a bad thing per se (the Fairies series are actually really fun) but I realised that these books shaped my way to act as a little girl and clearly impacted me way more than I thought. Because all the girls in the Tiara Club are delicate, kind, gentle, polite, raffinate and many, many, other traditionally feminine qualities. And most of the books for the same age range were quite similar in the values they promoted as appropriate for girls.

Now, my point is that I more or less learned how to behave in society thanks to books. So, I absorbed the content of these books and I was convicted I had to be quiet, gentle, always polite, helpful, delicate, unpretentious and so on to be a good girl. I clearly remember mentally reprimend myself when I was too happy of how I looked or when I put myself first, because that was what the "good girls" in the books did. And, you can imagine, this is not good for self esteem. And the novels for teenage girls I read around 13/14 weren't much better in the messages they carried. So, growing up, I really struggled to define what is actually being a girl/woman ( I am not one but I socially act as one, to make it short) and in the real world and without forcing myself into a delicate, glittery and "girly" mold. I didn't need to be a people pleaser to be a "good girl".

I am not saying this is only these books/movies fault, because there were a whole lot of other factors that shaped me, but theses "girly" books and movies clearly had an impact on me. It was the mainstream girl role model in media and, when you are achild, you absorb it without any questions. I think children, and little girls especially, need way more strong and realistic characters they can relate to. I think of Annie in the Magic Tree House, who is quite bold, loud and enthusiastic but she is also very kind and helpful. She may have a tomboy side but I honestly think she is a good model of a realistic little girl in children books. By the way, I read all the serie but Annie's personality was too different from mine for me to relate. But I admired her and wished to be like her.

I think we often talk about the good way books and movies can shape a person but not enough of the bad effects they can have. Books, especially the ones destined to children and teenagers, refelct society and have a big impact on young readers, so this is very important to show many different characters models and, above all, STOP GENDERING BOOKS. Gendering books is the most stupid thing ever in my opinion because it creates a gap in mentalities since the children are able to read. It shapes the brain and the way of percieving their role in society at an age where they should discover and experience everything. A girl is a girl even if she likes cars, playing in the mud and speaking loud. A boy is still a boy if he likes sparkly dresses, acts kindly and is disgusted by bugs and mud.

so here are my quite messy thoughts about how books, fairy tales and princesses movies shaped me as a child into the "perfect little girl" and how I hate this way of gendering books since the youngest age.

Please, drop your favorite non-gendered children books in the comments or reblog so we can make a virtual library.

I start here :

https://www.magictreehouse.com/books/

https://www.goodreads.com/series/69610-the-magic-school-bus