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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 21: 3x04 And the Children Shall Lead

Okay, I’m finally going to write up my thoughts on And the Children Shall Lead. I think I’m (mostly) over all of my excessively-strong emotions about this ep lol. Maybe going through my notes will bring them back. Or maybe not. I’ve felt very tired and uninterested in everything today so it’s hard to tell. So far the process is not going well: tumblr ate my first attempt at a post, like literally I wrote a few lines, clicked to a new tab, and when I clicked back the post was empty so thanks for that, and I keep on just generally not being interested in the task. So, we’ll see.

The tl;dr is that I don’t see why this ep is considered one of the worst. I actually really liked it!

Single-color jumpsuits: the fashion of the future.

Another old Kirk friend! (This isn’t even important lol; it never comes up again or matters that Kirk knew this guy, but we must always be reminded that he is the best networker in Starfleet.)

“He’s dead, Captain.” Not “he’s dead, Jim”?? Sounds wrong.

“The enemy within.” I thought that was a S1 ep?

Ah, another bunch of creepy kids. In pajamas this time, apparently.

Kirk is not having fun being the center of their creepy little rhyme.

RIP to McCoy but my diagnosis is “alien shenanigans.”

“I’m sorry, Captain Kirk.” Such a polite little alien.

McCoy corralling the kids

This sounds a lot like Miri, except purposeful—something targeted all the adults but left the kids, just like the virus in Miri affected all the adults, but not the kids.

…A disturbance in the cave!

Lol at Kirk’s anxiety face. I feel you, man.

Spock’s never experienced anxiety? My first thought is ‘sounds fake’ but actually… maybe he really hasn’t.

“There has to be an explanation.” This is the MOST Jim line.

I like these kids. They’re actually pretty cute. Also love Kirk trying to relate to the kids.

Where are they? Is this Sulu’s greenhouse lol? I love it. They should have used this set more.

“That place is for adults.” Gotta say, I wrote this down but now have no recollection what it actually refers to. The bridge? I think it’s the bridge.

Are they performing witchcraft? Intriguing.

“Friendly angel”—nothing creepy about that at all.

Got a little alien cult going on here. Every time I feel anxiety from now on I’m going to assume it’s an alien cultist nearby.

“We’ll pursue this in my quarters.” Wink wink.

Can’t fool Uhura.

Never mind. Yes you can.

For someone who wanted the kids guarded all the time, Kirk sure was ok with them just traipsing around the bridge. I mean the guards are at the door but like…they’re only at the door.

Never really thought about how there’s apparently an…engineering component... to flying the ship? I don’t know, I don’t really get it but it’s cool.

"Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth." Damn. Great line.

BAND OF MARAUDES. That’s a cool backstory for the dead alien society. Basically, they’re ghosts. Greedy ghosts. Alien ghost pirates.

Great triumvirate scene. McCoy want to protect the kids and Kirk’s like “…but the ship, though?” Which is fair!!

What does the ghost want? Um, a ship to maraud in, were you not listening to Spock’s exposition of the back story?

No don’t beam anyone down!!

Love any time Spock pushes someone else out of the way so he can man the transporter. He’s somehow the second-best expert on it on the entire ship.

Eeek, low-key gruesome death there. Look, I know that this is one of the scenes that haters love to point out as a reason to despise the episode but I personally don’t think deeply enough into the transporter situation to wonder how much information they have or assume before they beam people anywhere. Also…weird alien stuff is happening, guys. Just attribute it to that. Also also, if you’re gonna nitpick like that, be prepared to hate all of TOS.

THE KIDS STOLE THE CAR.

“Sulu, what did you to do my ship?”

Uhura’s watching this little witchcraft scene from the background like ‘aw, so cute.’

“Call upon their beasts.” Metal.

“Go to your stations.” This little kid is a future Captain in the making.

SPACE KNIVES

Kirk's like "Oh no, my crew is deserting me, I'm gonna have to fly the whole ship by myself AGAIN.”

“Captain, why are we bothering Starfleet?” Et tu, Spock?s

How did they get to Spock? He doesn’t seem scared of anything…more like he’s under the influence of a general hallucination, like the others seeing the planet on the screen even after they left orbit.

I remember this part, with Kirk freaking out. Spock doesn’t like it one bit.

He’s just being a littttle Dramatique.

Cannot believe that all Spock has to do is say “Jim” in a quiet, intimate voice and Kirk is immediately okay. Just let it out of his system, grabbed onto his friend, heard his own name, and the beast is defeated.

“My Vulcan friend”? Lol.

Kirk’s face when he realizes they’ve got Scotty too…

“Go away or we’ll kill you.” That was legitimately creepy. Scotty gone rogue.

Aw, Spock was worried about him again.

“Without followers, evil cannot spread.”

“Where did you hear this order, Chekov?” / “The voices in my head.”

It’s interesting that Kirk and Spock can’t be manipulated—perhaps because they have each other?

Enough of this—fight time!

That guard sounded like he really liked that nerve pinch; he was kinda moaning as he went down.

“Spock, corral them to their rooms.”

Outta the chair, brat.

Is Kirk going to defeat the alien evil using logic?

Summoning the “angel” by using the old recording is very clever.

When did they decide to start calling him the Gorgon?

“It lost its power in the light of reality” = “I looked into Spock’s eyes and knew myself again.”

HE IS GENTLE. It’s true and you should say it.

And he doesn’t even dispute it. “AND we are ALSO very strong.”

"You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."

So the girl is Jankowski.

This is very Candyman. The alien needs their belief to live. When they cease to follow him, he literally disappears.

Honestly, this whole alien scheme starts to look equal parts silly and sad, trying to call the crying children "generals.” They’re babies!

McCoy loves to see children in tears lol.

Kirk just hands them all off to McCoy, like ‘well, my work here is done.’

Okay, now we reverse course to pick up those stranded security guards still on the planet, right? Right? No? Okay, guess not.

Uhura, immediately ready with the paperwork lol. Now IS the time.

The end!

Now to try to interpret all of my other, more general notes.

The way I interpreted Spock being able to defy the mind control was that he was affected by Kirk. Because he clearly was affected, but then when he saw Kirk starting to freak out, he looked concerned, and then got them both off the bridge—he had a breakthrough of clarity long enough to understand he needed to get off the bridge. Then he’d be away from the kids, and they wouldn’t have as much control, and he could snap Jim out of it, too.

Like I’m sure his Vulcan resilience could easily have been part of it, too, but that resilience wasn’t enough to keep him from being affected at all—and of course they could have easily written it that way—and it seems obvious that his moment of clarity was caused specifically by watching Kirk starting to lose it. There are so many shots of him specifically watching Kirk and the guard.

The K/S vibes were so strong. Spock was so protective, then they get in the lift and Kirk basically clings to him. All he has to do is say Kirk’s name and Kirk is fine, which is basically the power of true love. And then even outside of that scene… for the whole rest of the ep, they’re a duo. It’s not just Kirk against the Evil of the Week, it’s Kirk and Spock, working together at every turn. Neither of them could have done it alone.

it's a pretty classic trope, in fact, especially in s1, to have Kirk all alone, abandoned by all...where he's the last man standing, the one who has to run the whole ship and save the whole day. Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, and Trouble with Tribbles (kinda) all come to mind. But this time he has Spock! You see the progression of their relationship in that.

I really enjoyed this episode in general. Lots of classic tropes: creepy children; surprise alien; old alien society not as dead as we thought; Kirk has to run the whole ship by himself (with Spock); heroic!Kirk saving the day… It has it all. It’s clearly revisiting some older themes and ideas, but in a sufficiently unique way that it doesn’t just seem like a rehash of an older plot. In some ways, it felt like a Classic S1 episode to me. It has some Miri elements, some Charlie X elements, some Naked Time elements…

I literally don’t understand why it’s so disliked.

Skimmed the wiki and the only specific criticism in there is that Kirk shows an “unmistakable hostility to the children.” Well first of all, he doesn’t. He might not have the best manner with them, but why should he? He’s certainly not mean or cruel to them. He recognizes they’re a danger to his ship, and to the whole planet of Marcos-12, which by the way is objectively true, but that’s not being hostile. McCoy is the one who represents ‘exclusive care for the children’s welfare’ in this ep, but he CAN do that, because he’s not the Captain. He represents that perspective, he gives his opinion, which is both his job on the ship and his role on the show, and then Kirk takes that into account while doing HIS job, which is running the ship. McCoy would have literally let the kids take over their ship and conquer the galaxy as part of their grieving process lol. Kirk was right and I should say it. (Also btw he understands that killing the kids might be an option—but he obviously doesn’t actually do it.)

I actually think this ep is a great example of the triumvirate functioning--McCoy reminds Kirk that the children are just traumatized children, and Spock reminds him that he's responsible for 400+ people on the ship, and Kirk makes the decisions that vanquish the evil, save the ship, and free the kids.

And look, even if you don’t like this episode, you’d have to argue very hard to convince me it’s the WORST, as in worse than Spock’s Brain, worse than The Alternative Factor, worse than Assignment Earth (not even a real TOS ep!), worse than The Omega Glory.

Some stuff I actively liked: the concept of the alien taking over the children specifically (both creepy and…kinda makes sense? That they’d be vulnerable); the message that the followers of demagogues can be both truly dangerous and objects of sympathy; the backstory of the evil empire of pirate aliens—and how greed doesn’t die; the witchcraft aesthetic, ESPECIALLY when paired with the kid antagonists, since kids are so into that like chanting, incantations, rituals thing; that the ep used every single main character (when was the last time a TOS ep did that?). Also I thought the kid actors did a good job!

The theme about the authoritarian and the cult followers was actually quite resonant, I thought; inevitably made me think of Tr/ump and his Tr/umpies. Just like in this episode, you must have some kind of… if not sympathy, at least willingness to do the hard work of deprograming and then bringing them back to the fold, or else the country is never going to heal and it’s never going to be able to go forward in a positive way. It might not go forward at all! But fuck it’s hard to have that sympathy; they’re so abhorrent. Here, you see the terrible things the kids do, and yet sympathy isn’t so hard, because they’re kids. You see how much they are victims/pawns also. And so in that sense, Kirk’s ability to deprogram them is comfortingly optimistic—a little bittersweet, as TOS often is, because the kids have done horrible things and seen horrible things and now they’ll have to live with it, but comforting nonetheless.

I can’t even think of that many things I didn’t like in the ep. Mostly just nitpicky things. Like, was McCoy a little inconsistent in what he thought should be done with the kids? Yeah, but we get the general idea. Did Kirk drop the ball when he let them hang out on the bridge? Yes, especially as he knew how dangerous they were at that point, but I actually don’t mind it so much because they’re kids—it’s understandable that their true dangerousness didn’t fully compute to him. I don’t see that as a mistake or sloppy writing tbh. And was it an amateur hour mistake to beam two people into space? Yes, but it made up for it in being creepy and upping the stakes of the ep.

I guess I could see how the fist gesture could be seen as a little silly. But the other option, having them speak rhymes each time, would have been distracting—and probably also looked silly! Also, as my mom pointed out, it looks like a kid’s game (sorta like the start of rock paper scissors) so it fits appropriately with the theme.

I really liked how they wove in the aesthetic of kids’ games, kids’ manners of playing, into the narrative. Kids can be really creepy! They like creepy things! So the ring around the rosy rhyme at the beginning—a quite disturbing chant, of course, about the Plague, that is also very commonly sung by actual kids—foreshadows the summoning chant that brings the alien to them. It’s all of a piece. And just like the rhyme is just a rhyme, and they don’t know the real meaning behind it, they probably also don’t fully understand the meaning of the summoning chant or the alien that comes with it. It’s all one big game to them.

It’s interesting that the alien seemed to play off their desire both to punish their parents for working too much ("they like the planet, they're always busy") and to have freedom from parental rules (how they react to any instructions from adults, the alien's promise that the whole universe will be their playground, etc.). He really picks their sore spots as kids specifically and turns them into his “generals” accordingly. Like all kids, they don’t think too much about the larger consequences of their game because in some ways, it really is all just a game to them.

I liked how the episode characterized Kirk’s ability to interact with kids. He’s not bad with them at all, but he’s not like McCoy or Chapel either. He “wants to communicate with the future adult in the kid,” as my mom put it, which is perfect. He doesn’t exactly treat them as mini-adults—he doesn’t say inappropriate things to them, and he does simplify his language and his ideas for them—but he does treat them very seriously. And he’s probably best at one-on-one interactions like with Tommy. I think this makes total sense for his character: he doesn’t have kids (David aside lol), he doesn’t have younger siblings, he doesn’t work in a place where he’d see other people’s kids, he doesn’t get to see his nephew much, etc.

…Okay those were all my notes. I know I had other thoughts that were a little less scattered later, but… I’m tired. And most of it is probably in here in some form or another. I also found a list of, like, actual critiques of the episode, and I was considering going through them and addressing them all, and I might still do that. But I think that’s for another day.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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menswearmusings · 4 years

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The Importance of a Jacket’s Front Length

I mentioned purchasing a Ring Jacket in my post yesterday to support my local menswear shop. It’s a superb jacket that fits well and that I love, which I’ll wear in good health next fall when the temps drop again. However, I’ve been debating whether I should hold onto it personally or sell it at cost to someone else because of one issue: the front/back balance; or specifically, the front length.

Everybody should know the general rules of jacket length. The big one, to me, is that the jacket should cover your seat in the back. That’s the important one because it’s the most objective; the other rules you hear about are less helpful in my opinion (Simon at Permanent Style made a video with a hilariously grim-looking model to explain each of the jacket length rules here, wherein he also explains how useful each rule is).

However, just as important in whether or not your jacket appears long enough is how it looks in the front. For a jacket to look right, the front has to be longer than the back—and indeed, every jacket is cut this way—because the contours of your upper chest mean the fabric has more distance to cover. This is called the front/back balance. From the side, the ideal is that the hem line is parallel to the floor. However, depending on how long the maker cuts the front and how it hangs on your specific body shape, it might end up looking too short, even if a profile view shows that is it not—and even if the hem line is correctly horizontal.

This is the issue with the Ring Jacket—a side shot shows that it’s pretty even front-to-back. The back length covers my seat just fine, too (and unrelated, the back up in the shoulder blades, the sleeve pitch and overall appearance is super clean). But in the front, it looks a little short. It bothered me enough to take a poll on my Instagram (70% said it looked fine; though there were voices from people whose opinions I highly trust on both sides); and I have even listed it for sale in case anybody wants it.

Back when I wrote about Ring Jacket originally, wholesale director for Europe and North America Kapil Sehgal told me one aspect of their jacket that makes it fit a lot of people well is that they take the slouchier posture of Japanese men into account. That means the shoulders and upper back are a little roomier, and indeed it seems to fit a wider array of men really well on account of that. My buddy Zach postulated that perhaps they cut the front length a little shorter as well, to accommodate that slouch. That would make sense, because when you see someone leaning or slouching forward in a suit jacket the front length looks extra long and strange.

There are other issues that change the appearance of the front, as well, which could be accentuating what I reacted to so strongly the other day. First is the buttoning point and how it bisects the jacket. On the hanger, it looks perfectly proportional; the lapels aren’t too short, the quarters aren’t too short. And indeed it hits right about my natural waist. But when I’m wearing it, somehow it looks off, as if the lapels are too short. I took photos of an Eidos jacket I have that is almost identical in length, both front and back; the Eidos jacket doesn’t look as short in the front, though. Part of it, I think, is that the lapels look longer because the buttoning point is ever so slightly lower—it gives a long, slimming line from the waist upward.

Second is how open the quarters are cut. English jackets have quarters that are very closed—below the button, the jackets front panels fall directly downward. I prefer the Italian style of more open quarters, where the front panels sweep away slightly more. This jacket has more open quarters (which I like!), but that can exacerbate the already slightly-short front length’s appearance. In the comparison pics with the Eidos jacket, you can see both have open quarters—and the Eidos jacket’s quarters are even more rounded in shape. Both can accentuate a short length, but the Eidos does less so possibly because of the next reason.

Third is the jacket’s pattern and color. The check pattern is amazing and beautiful and lovely, but those horizontal lines and the mid-range brightness value accentuate the width of the jacket, while the length gets no additional help. In comparison, the Eidos jacket, which is dark, and has no pattern, is slimming.

Fourth, I think the sleeve length is actually working against me as well. The sleeves look fine with the shirt I’m wearing in the photos, but they are objectively about 3/8” too short (and many of my other shirts would make this more apparent). It might sound crazy, but sleeve length dramatically impacts how well a jacket appears to fit. Many men wear jacket sleeves way too long, and it makes the entire jacket look sloppy as heck, even if it fits okay otherwise. Likewise, sleeves that are too short make the entire thing look shrunken, like it’s a little boy’s jacket you grew out of. In the comparison photos, consider how the Eidos sleeves are longer.

Lastly, choice of pants and how high their rise is makes a difference. It was the photo below, of me wearing the jacket with my low-rise light-wash jeans, that first made me question the front length. The distance between the waistband of the jeans and the button of the jacket visually makes the whole thing look short. My dark jeans worn in every other photo have a rise about an inch higher than those light jeans. And I prefer dress trousers with a rise slightly higher than even that. But that can make an impact on it, too.

This photo, with these jeans, made me wonder if this jacket is too short on me.

So, what do you think—is the jacket too short? If you read my blog, chances are you follow me on Instagram and probably saw the poll in my Story (and indeed I got many DMs telling me “dude we both know it’s too short” or “c’mon man it’s fine, stop nitpicking”). Let me know in the comments. I love the jacket and the length issue is small enough that whether somebody buys it off me, I’ll be neither upset nor greatly excited in either outcome.

Below, I’ve included some photos of other jackets I’ve tried over the years that showcase some of these same issues.

A jacket I tried from Spier & Mackay several years ago while the Neapolitan cut was in development still; the front looks short.

That jacket shown from the side shows how the front/back balance is technically okay.

A Suit Supply jacket that fit very well, but the sleeves are short (and because they cut buttonholes, they can’t be lengthened), making the whole thing seem small.

The next size up fit longer and larger over all, but the sleeve length made an impact all its own.

The Anglo-Italian jacket cut, which, comparing how it falls, is about the same length as this Ring Jacket. The lower buttoning point (and longer sleeves) probably make it feel less short in the front.

Read more at Menswear Musings

#aesthetics #anglo italian #basics #fit basics #Front balance #front length #jacket length #ring jacket

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love-we-write · 6 years

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Thank You for Trying

Part III

Character: Dad!Kim Jongdae Genre: Family, some bit of drama, much fluff Words: 4,738 Summary: Because you saw how deeply Jongdae loves; saw him love his parents, his friends, his job and his fans. And it’s not the outward declaration of love to the rooftops nor is it the grand presents. It’s him constantly worrying and helping them, and constantly wanting to make them happy. Constantly trying for them. A/N: Four five years ago, I saw a thread of how Jongdae would make such a great dad. Also a GIF in Exoluxion of Jongdae with a child. This is what my brain put together from those two.

Part I, Part II

You saw in slow motion Hyejin’s pram toppling over. Hyejin falling outside. Yours and OO’s sweet daughter. Hyejin, only barely 10 months old. There was no noise in your ears. Not even the sound of your heartbeat. Just that sickening ‘thud!’ as Hyejin landed on the sidewalk outside the pram.

And then… the world resumes.

Hyejin began to cry. You hear someone cry. A few hours later, you realize that that someone was you.

You don’t remember anything else during that time. Someone may have taken a video, or a picture. You didn’t know. All you could remember in your head was a blank white canvas with dark scribbled words of panic.

‘hyejinshouldn’tbethereohmygodissheokayisshesafePLEASEGODLETHERBEOKAY –‘

You remember picking up your crying daughter and holding her close to you to your body. You remember that sudden moment of clarity that you probably should not move her too much in case there were any injuries. But you remember that you needed to get out of that circle fast. So, you pushed some of them roughly and broke the circle, and you find yourself not caring if they were surprised or angry or if they want to follow you. All you know is that you are walking as fast as you can while trying to keep Hyejin stationary.

At some point, you remember walking all the way to the nearest hospital. You remember thinking that you cannot risk calling an ambulance and staying put in one place with them maybe following you.

You remember calling Jongdae as soon as you manage to quiet Hyejin down and had the doctors look at her.

You remember his voice. It was bright.

“Jagi!”

Then it turned worried.

“Sweetheart… what’s wrong?”

Then, you remember your voice. It was small, hiccup-y. And it was scared.

“Dae, come down. It’s Hyejin.”

Jongdae is a man who worries quietly, but on that day when he burst to see you in the hospital, his worry was deafeningly obvious on his face.

“What happened?”

It’s your fault. You should have been more careful. You should have never dared to come out just like that. You should have known. You should have known.

Amidst your hiccupping, you managed to tell him your story. That you were cornered… but you should have known not to come out like that. You were pushed – it’s your fault that Hyejin is hurt – and you bumped into Hyejin’s pram – it’s your fault – and Hyejin was knocked out of there – it’s all your fault – and you brought her as soon as possible to the hospital – oh god, your daughter is in there because of you –.

And there you two stood, and you watched Jongdae’s warm eyes gradually darken at your each word. His eyes, normally a warm and welcoming chocolate were now dark and cold, bitter and almost black. Then Jongdae heard his phone ping twice. One message from Baekhyun, another from his manager.

Both asking if you are okay, both with links to social media accounts where he watched in agony at the video of his wife hysterically crying while running away from the crowd, and he heard his daughter’s cries of pain. And he felt his heart twist in the most painful way he has ever known. And he wondered how things have gone this wrong.

At that time, you thought you saw something snap inside Jongdae.

Ten minutes later, you were called in to the doctor’s office. Hyejin is fine and is considered very lucky to come out of the fall with minor injuries. She has no concussions, but her left arm is fractured. You are advised to not move her left arm so much when you get home, but also ‘we would like to keep her for a night here, just to be on the safe side’.

“Will there be effects when she grows up?”

“It’s too early to know, but you should bring her for checkups when she grows up, just to see,” the doctor replied kindly.

You and Jongdae stayed with Hyejin all night. Sometimes you see Jongdae come out of the room to take a few calls and make a few more on his own. But he never left you.

At some point, you asked him.

“Dae, are you okay?”

The smile he gave you is soft, and his kiss on your forehead is reassuring.

“I am. Don’t you worry about anything.”

He promised you and held your hand.

A day later, you and Jongdae took Hyejin home. That night, he told you of his plans. You heavily objected to his plans, almost to the point of crying, because it’s unfair how he should compromise one love of his for another.

“Dae, I know you know what you’re doing, but you also know your decision… i-it’s going to be widely misunderstood! You know they won’t let you explain so easily, and if you do get to explain, you know how they’ll twist your words!”

But Jongdae held you and reassured that it’s going to be okay. That HE’S going to be okay.

“I trust them. I trust my friends.”

There he is, so loving and so trustful of the people he holds dear. You don’t know if that’s kindness, or stupidity.

The next morning, you cried but you held his hand and said you will support him in whatever he does.

A week after that, in a move that proved historical and controversial in the idol industry, Jongdae filed lawsuits against his own fansite masters.

People have heard of idols and their representatives threatening legal action on separate companies. They might have also heard of companies protecting their artist by threatening legal action against slandering rumors or malicious commenters.

But in an unprecedented move, one that certainly got tongues wagging and people discussing, EXO’s Chen became the first idol to have threatened a lawsuit against his own fansite masters, against his own fans as far as readers are concerned.

Eight people were charged; four were fansite masters specifically for him and two for EXO, and two were photographers from the media. The charges; harassment, stalking and potential endangerment of a minor. All were identified as being directly involved in the scuffle that led to Hyejin’s injuries last week

In a matter of a day, Jongdae’s decision to file the lawsuit proved controversial and misunderstood. In an industry that heavily involves fan interactions, negative interactions like these are unheard of and are seen as signs of ungratefulness. Never mind the fact that four years ago, he had made the rare move of announcing his relationship, now him suing his own fansite masters again brought the discussion of ungratefulness to his fans and criticism for bringing in his personal life into his professional one.

Reactions were greatly negative the first few moments of Jongdae announcing the lawsuit, and greatly exacerbated by the media. His decision was nitpicked from every aspect.

There were the people charged who spread slander about him and his decision, they also started discussions about how Jongdae has changed and that he has brought too much of his personal life into his professional one. A lot of rumors about how he has turned his back against all his fans spread through social media.

From the media outlets’ perspective, they brought up the fact that he is enforcing a monetary penalty on them, which seemed odd. That got the people talking about unfairness, about how most of his money came from his fans, yet he would disregard that when he decided to monetarily penalize his own fans.

On the Internet, his name is dragged through the mud. People wrote that his true colors are revealed. How he views his fans were questioned.

‘All the fangirls are clearly delusional; don’t you see you’re only cash pigs to him.’

‘Liar.’

‘Leave if you don’t like to be an idol, sheesh. You can’t have the best of both worlds.’

‘EXO’s getting dragged through the mud is his fault, he should leave.’

‘Ever since he met her, he’s changed so much.’

‘He should leave’

‘He’s changed! He’s getting so arrogant, first announcing his girlfriend and the baby, then this?!’

‘It’s her fault.’

‘He’s gotten so arrogant, I don’t remember supporting someone so arrogant!’

‘He doesn’t care about his fans.’

‘Leave!’

You wanted so badly to scream at how wrong they were. That the EXO’s Chen that they see on the stage is not a fake persona, is not a mask, but it is a real extension of the man that is Kim Jongdae. He loves his family and his brothers as Kim Jongdae and he loves EXO-L as Kim Jongdae too, and you don’t understand why these two things must be so mutually exclusive.

Here is a man, who – for as long as you knew him – never talks about you or your child during his professional shows because that would be rude to his fans and who talks of them like his friends even behind closed doors. Here is a man who had the option and was actually urged to keep your relationship quiet but decided to challenge his own company to let him tell only EXO-Ls first only, not because of any ulterior motive but simply because he doesn’t want them to see him as EXO’s Chen, some unapproachable idol but just as simple human Kim Jongdae, a friend.

And you see netizens and media questioning him on this and that is what you fear would hurt him most. More than the speculations of his motives, more than the news analysis, you feared that he would get hurt because he loves too much, and he loves too deeply.

His members, supportive and understanding as they were, could not go against the authorities of their company when they brought their decision on Jongdae. Baekhyun and Junmyeon and their managers tried reasoning with the higher-ups, tried to make them see how vital Jongdae is, if not to them as a family, then to EXO’s sound as a group. How would you be able to isolate Chen, their vocal backbone for so many years, and not expect any drastic change in their musical direction? But the authorities have spoken.

Jongdae is to be put on probation, and if him proceeding with his intention shows more harm than growth to EXO, the company and public perception of them, then he will be considered a liability and his contract terminated.

You know how sasaengs posing as fansites has strained idol-fan relationships, and you know that not all fansites are like that. You know that Jongdae and EXO has had this problem for as long as since they debuted. But you also know that this lawsuit would have never happened if it was him who got hurt. You know he filed this lawsuit to protect you and your daughter. And look at what it cost him.

For you and for your daughter, he is willing to take the risk of possibly losing his dream and all that he has worked for.

That night, it was quiet. The storm has quietened down for a while and people are asleep. Jongdae should be asleep too, he’s going to have a press conference tomorrow where he promises to try to answer all questions about his decisions, but at that time, you catch him standing beside Hyejin, stroking her cheeks softly as she slept. Without any thought, you hugged him, and you hugged him with all your might, with everything that you feel inside.

You hugged him with all the guilt you feel that he wouldn’t have had to choose if you and Hyejin weren’t in the public picture, if he hadn’t loved his fans like he did… if he hadn’t loved you or your daughter like he did.

You hugged him with all your bottled uncertainty for the future, if it really came down that his contract would be terminated, if there really was no coming back from this, if he really had to leave EXO for his family.

You hugged him because you feel sorry that he loves too deeply, and he trusts so much in the good of the ones he loves, but also you hugged him because you feel thankful that he is how he is, because you are thankful that you are loved by him.

“Are you scared, Dae?” you whispered to his back.

You felt him turn around and then you felt his lips on your forehead. When you looked up at him, he is smiling.

“Yeah… and no.”

It’s quiet outside.

“I’m scared but I’m also brave…does that make sense?” he chuckled sheepishly.

“I’m scared, sure, but then there’s you…” he said and then he cocked his head to the cot, where sweet Hyejin is sleeping without a care in world, almost as if her father hadn’t been dragged through the mud for her.

In her sleep, her face makes him forget all that he will face tomorrow. Jongdae can’t help but smile at that.

“…and there’s Hyejin too, and I feel like everything will be alright.”

“Do you regret it? This would have been much easier on you i-if we… stayed quiet from the start,” you murmured quietly.

Jongdae was quiet for a while. Over from the corner of your eyes, you see him purse his lips.

“Easier, yes. But not right.”

“It’s unfair on you and it’s unfair on Hyejin too. I knew, at some point, that what we have… it’s something that I want to continue. And I don’t want to carry on having to pretend like I don’t know you in public. And I don’t want our children to grow up hidden, with their father pretending like he doesn’t know them,” he began as he held you beside him in one arm, while playing with Hyejin’s cheeks with his other hand. You watched in wonder as your daughter, probably sensing her father, turned to snuggle into Jongdae’s hands.

“It’s unfair to them too, to the fans. Because they’ve been with us EXO for all those years, and they want to be closer to us, as we do with them. But to keep giving them the polished, pre-packaged version of EXO’s Chen after all these years, that would be a lie. They have been with us through thick and thin… and I at least owe them to be truthful as me, as Kim Jongdae in all my interactions with them. Not that Chen is a lie, it’s a part of me, but only PART of me. And with all those years of them supporting us, I want to share a little bit more of the parts the makes me Kim Jongdae. And those parts are… that I love you, I have a daughter and I love her too, and I will do whatever it takes to protect both of you.”

To this, he looked at you and smiled.

“Don’t worry, almost all of them are good. It’s the negative ones that’s the loudest.”

He said this as if he’s wasn’t just nitpicked from all across the media, given death threats and received thousands of comments saying he should give up his dream of singing, as if he wasn’t just branded a liability by the company he helped grow with his voice.

At that, you can’t help but stare in wonder at this. He may not be one for declarations of love over rooftops, but the things he does for the people he loves, how much consideration he gives them, it is something that cannot be unrivaled.

In that quiet night, when all were asleep but the two of you, your hand found his and you held it tight.

In your heart that is no longer uneasy, you thought that everyone who is loved by him truly are very lucky.

The next day Jongdae walked into a room full of reporters and camera flash assaulting his face and he sat down in front of them with steely determination. And then, the questioning began, and he found that he had nothing to hide.

One reporter asked him what the basis of the lawsuits were. That is easy, they were directly involved in stalking and harassing his wife and daughter, and even took videos and pictures during a time of distress when his daughter fell from the pram. Besides that, this is not an isolated incident as the people who were identified have always stalked and harassed him and his family, camping outside his home and also outside the hospital when Hyejin was born and creating disturbance everywhere.

“Simply put, the media outlet has no excuse for such an invasion of privacy, and the fansite masters are simply sasaengs posing as fans,” Jongdae said calmly. It’s hard for any of them to retort when he said it so straightforwardly without sounding mean.

Another asked him what kind of message it is that he wished to send with these lawsuits. That is also very simple, to respect his wishes to give his wife and daughter privacy. He does not want to police interactions between his family and his fans, in fact he thought that most of EXO-Ls as his friends that he’s excited for them to meet his family. It’s the small minority that doesn’t do that respectfully that he wanted to give a strong warning. He does not want his daughter to grow up with strangers pointing their cameras at her without her consent, or camping in her school in the future, or for her to be scared to make friends.

He wants them to view his family as humans too, instead of linked products to EXO’s Chen and by default have human rights to privacy.

“There seems to be talk of where to cross the line between your professional life and your personal one. At the end of the day, having to deal with unruly fans could be said to be what comes with the job of being an idol, and it comes with the high pay of your job. With you suddenly suing the source of your professional income because of your personal life, wouldn’t you say this is being unprofessional?” a reporter chimed in after Jongdae finished his previous answer.

There was suddenly a murmur as Jongdae took his time to think of his answer.

“In my opinion, the line to draw between my professional life and my personal life differ between how each fan perceive their idol. For me personally, I would rather my EXO-Ls think of me as a friend because after years of their support, I do not think of them as my fans but rather my friends. That is why 4 years ago, I shared news of my relationship and then this year of my daughter only to them. It’s because I view them not as my source of income, but as friends who has been with me and my members for so long, and they deserve to know more about me as Kim Jongdae, the man instead of just as Chen, the idol,” he began slowly.

“That’s why I would rather them think of me as human, instead of an idol the product. But I understand that to each their own preference. I understand that some might prefer to view me only as a performer who they paid their hard-earned money to see, and I respect that. Those views, however, still does not change the fact that, the product here is me. It is not my wife and it is certainly not my newborn daughter, who did not choose to be born to an idol father.”

A round of murmur began to resound in the room. Jongdae continued.

“Regardless if you view me as the idol, the product of a business, my wife and my daughter should not have to bear the same treatment. My lawsuits want to make that line clear. We can discuss the morality and what an idol owes the fan if the situation involves only me, but there are no discussions when I say my wife and daughter does not owe anyone anything.”

Another round of camera flash resumed its blinding assault on his face. Backstage, you watched his open declaration with tears in your eyes.

“What do you plan to do with the penalty of the lawsuit?” another reporter asked.

“Most probably donate it. The money is not important here, it is the principle,” Jongdae shrugged.

“Did you talk to your members about this decision?”

“Yes. I’ve talked a lot with my members and the managers before making my decision. I understand the consequences it may bring me, that’s why I want to stress that any should there be any negative consequences, those should be mine alone to bear. The activities of EXO and the other members should not have to suffer because of my decision,” the Jongdae replied decisively but not unkindly. His voice is soft, as it is always were when he speaks, however it did not waver.

“One final question; do you worry about the future, things like how your fans will perceive you, even your possible future in EXO given SM’s statement of putting you in probation?” another voice asked, this time possible directly in front of Jongdae.

Jongdae began softly with his answer.

“I think if I say I am not worried, that would be a lie. I love singing, and I love being in EXO. I also do not want our fans to think that with me doing this, I am turning my back on them or that I do not love them. They are precious to me; like a close friend that I want to make proud. I am only taking action against people who would dare hurt my wife and my daughter. What I hope that everyone in this room and everyone who will watch understands that…,” Jongdae replied slowly after much thought.

At that instant, Jongdae looked up determinedly at the camera. From behind the stage watching the live feed, you felt your heart skip beats and you fell in love with Kim Jongdae all over again.

“I love my family more than anything in this world and I will not regret any sacrifice if it means they are safe and happy”

7 years later, the three of you sat huddled on Hyejin’s bed, with your phone the only source of light illuminating the darkness of her room. It was that video of him in the press conference that you started with and it was the same video that you ended your story. The Jongdae 7 years younger – frozen in time in your phone – continued to stare back at Hyejin in apt determination after his fierce declaration and you watched as Hyejin looked up between you and her father beside her, her eyes tearing up more as she starts to register the magnitude of her father’s sacrifice.

“Then… what happened after that?” your daughter asked quietly, almost scared.

“Well… your father was right. It’s the negative ones that are the loudest. They threw temper tantrums, we see some boycotts, we see some burning their albums and we see some nasty pictures, articles and comments on the Internet. But on the whole, people started discussing over your father’s statements. And they realize that he is right. You are just a baby, you do not owe anyone anything. Your other uncles also spoke out soon after that in support of your father, how he is vital to them as EXO, so his termination will not be tolerated, but also that it is incredibly human of him to do what he did and there’s nothing wrong with that,” you explained.

“People started discussing about the sasaeng culture and how it strains other fans’ interaction with their idols. We see more discussion over whether idols can speak up and we see people applauding your father for doing so. And after that, people realize that EXO still have fans staying with them, fans who genuinely just wants to be happy with EXO and wants EXO to be happy. Those are the ones that you like it when they see you and say hi to you. Soon, his public image improved. And, he gets to stay and gets to sing again – soon after that, he gets to add a solo career on top of everything. Seems like good luck but it took close to a year of being uncertain.”

You stroke Hyejin’s hair.

“You see, sweetheart… when your father decided that day to announce you to the world, it took a lot of courage. He did it at a time where it was blasphemous to do so. But he did so, because he doesn’t want you to grow up being separate from him. He doesn’t want to pretend like he doesn’t know you in public and can only show his love in private.

“Then, you see whenever your father and your uncles travel. It’s a horde of reporters and fans that surround them. We know his life as an idol is anything but normal, yet he still only ever wanted to give you what any normal father wants to give his daughter; a safe and happy childhood. You get to openly be proud that your father is the amazing EXO’s Chen, while at the same time getting to have a normal childhood like anyone else without cameras following you. You get to have the best of both worlds, because 7 years ago, when your father first held you, he has long decided that he won’t regret any sacrifices he makes if that meant you get to be happy.”

You watch as Hyejin turned to her father, teary-eyed and trembling.

At some point, you think what shook her most was not your stories of the past, but what happened in the present. It’s not the re-telling of what she went through as a baby that shocked her, you think it’s the fact that she – not an hour ago – thought that her father prefers his fans over her, and to know how wrong she was. To realize how much her father tried for her.

“Of all the things in this world, he loves you the most.”

Suddenly, Hyejin tackled her father down in a burst of tears, landing face first into Jongdae’s chest as she wailed.

“I-I’m s-sorry, appa! I-I didn’t mean to… That must’ve sucked when you heard me, I’m so-so sorry!” Hyejin whined and cried into Jongdae’s chest. Jongdae chuckled, but you hear the waver in his voice.

“It’s okay, princess. That’s alright,” he soothed as Hyejin kept crying.

“I-I don’t hate you, appa. I’m sorry that I-I thought…I thought…”

“It’s alright, there there. It’s alright. Shh…” Jongdae stroked her head, rocking his daughter back and forth to sleep, in between placing soft kisses on her head and murmuring soft reassurances that everything is okay and that he is here.

Over her head, his eyes meet yours and the clear film of tears has long broken and were streaming down his face, but he gives you a watery smile. One that looked relieved and thankful. You leaned your head against his shoulder, felt one of his hands find yours and his kiss on the crown of your head.

As you look up to him and on towards your daughter snuggling closer to her father, you were almost taken aback with how much she has grown and how much she grows to look more and more like Jongdae as each day passes. You know this won’t be the last time she will have to face this; getting questioned on her father’s absences, on her father’s job, on her father. You both know this will come again as she grows up.

But she’ll grow up knowing that it is not true if anyone says her father loves her any less. And you know she’ll try. Try to be strong, try to compromise, try to be resolute. Because she is Jongdae’s daughter, and just as he is strong and brave and tries hard day after day for his family, Hyejin is strong and brave too, and you hope she will try hard for her father too. You hope you can try hard for the both of them too.

Because you saw how deeply Jongdae loves; saw him love his parents, his friends, his job and his fans. And it’s not the outward declaration of love to the rooftops nor is it the grand presents. It’s him constantly worrying and helping them, and constantly wanting to make them happy. Constantly trying for them.

On that day when Jongdae first held his daughter and looked at her with such love and fascination, when he tried to discreetly wipe his tears, you knew – and you hope Hyejin will now know too – how deeply Jongdae loves and you knew how lucky you both are that he tries for you two.

#chen scenario #jongdae scenario #chen angst #jongdae angst #exo scenario #chen #jongdae

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riverdamien · 5 years

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Remember the Poor

"Remember the Poor, It Cost's Nothing" Josh Billings Matthew 23:23-26 The Message (MSG) 23-24 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God’s Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment—the absolute basics!—you carelessly take it or leave it. Careful bookkeeping is commendable, but the basics are required. Do you have any idea how silly you look, writing a life story that’s wrong from start to finish, nitpicking over commas and semicolons? 25-26 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something." ---------------------------------------------------------------- Carl Nolte, recently wrote: "I wondered about it (homeless people on the streets) even when camping by a river in the redwoods. What has become of us? Have we grown such calluses on our souls that we can look at this kind of agony in the streets and not see? Is that what it means to be a citizen of a beautiful and famous city such as San Francisco? We did nothing (thinking of passing by homeless person in City) I can't get it out of my mind." As I look back the past twenty five years I remember a time when homeless people were noticed, acts of compassion were shown to them by the majority of people. I remember people like Fr. Louie Vitalie, former pastor of St. Boniface Church who advocated and showed love to people on the street, he is the founder of the current homeless program at the Church; Sr. Bernie Gavin, advocated for the homeless, Reverend Glenda Hope who founded housing and had worship services on the streets, and the list goes on. The question I ask: "Is where are the clergy in working with the homeless?" And than I remember--"advocacy on the streets for street people does not pay enough, and is too dirty." There was a sense of caring, a sense of support. Now we ignore the person on the street, we see them as dirty, and we scream at our politicians to do something. Sr. Joan Chittlister, tells us: "Politicians will always ask the question, "Is it expedient? But the prophets must ask the question, "Is it right?" That is the reason I do not trust politicians, they always seek out the expedient answer, and the majority come from privilege and wealth and have no idea of the pain of people on the street. We need to ask the question "Is it right?" Our Gospel confronts all of us with our hypocrisy. We are all called to walk with each other as brothers and sisters, we are all called to suffer together so that others might not suffer. We are all called to feed people we see hungry, to fight for our government to shift their funds to mental health care, housing, and food; to provide housing to someone if we can or to push our churches, and our businesses to open their doors and provide housing. We walk past churches with beautiful spaces that stand empty, empty buildings, kept empty in order for the owners to correct more money, and people are sleeping outside in the cold. Ritual, lovely speeches are empty, until they are put into action. We can "remember the poor"--and until we put our words into action--it cost's nothing, and it leaves our lives empty, vacant, and is pure hypocrisy. Materialism, our desire for money, for property is destroying us, it is destroying our humanity. So let us remember the poor, the homeless, and in doing so look at our selves and see our own poverty, our own pain, and love them, as we want to be loved. Let us take Carl Nolte's words and put life into them, enter into the suffering, the pain, of others, and find life and joy and not walk away feeling guilty. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God! ------------------------------------------- Bay Area Youth Led Climate Strike Start: Friday, September 20, 2019•10:00 AM Location:San Francisco Federal Building •90 7th Street, San Francisco , CA 94103 Host Contact Info: [email protected] +- (Adult allies are welcome) At 10am, in San Francisco we call for a youth-led climate strike march, going to different targets that are contributing to climate breakdown, leaving our mark to let these places know what we are fighting for. We will again start at the office of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and will connect targets in government, finance, and energy. For those that can’t join in person, we will be asking people to post on social media and tag our targets. The following are our demands through the action week and why we are striking: 1.We demand a safe, healthy, and just planet.This climate crisis threatens our ability to live. If climate change continues on this course, we won’t be able to eat, breathe, or have safe shelter. In order to successfully fight the climate crisis we are facing, we must also fight the systems of white supremacy, racism, greed, and exploitation that have led us to it. Fighting for climate justice means fighting for a world that is safe, healthy, and just for all of its inhabitants. We must enact climate emergency plans at the local, national, and international level. 2. We demand justice and asylum for people displaced by climate change.Individuals and families displaced by climate change seek asylum in a safe place because they have nowhere else to go. Climate justice means abolishing ICE, closing concentration camps at the border, ending family separation, and creating inclusive new laws and regulations that treat everyone as human. 3. We demand policy based on science. We have eleven years before the effects of the climate emergency are irreversible. We can’t afford to compromise with climate change deniers. We must enact immediate legislation based on scientific analysis of carbon emissions and the ways that climate disasters impact certain communities. Science clearly shows that global temperatures are rising dangerously, and that we are on track to face unprecedented climate disasters. We demand a Green New Deal, a resolution that lays out a science-based plan to reach negative carbon emissions by 2030. 4. We demand that people, not corporations, influence politics.Representation and transparency are vital for successful democracies; corporate money must be taken out of politics. We demand all politicians sign the “No Fossil Fuel Money Pledge.” We demand Citizens United must be overturned and super PAC’s be abolished. Corporate funding and donations from millionaires and billionaires must be replaced with public funding of elections in addition to small-dollar donations. To ensure that every vote counts, we must restore the Voting Rights Act, secure automatic registration for every citizen above 18, and re-enfranchise those convicted of felonies. 5. We demand equal rights for all.The government must be for the people, by the people; all policies and decisions made must be for the benefit of all. Black and trans lives matter; the Equality Act must be passed. The rights of Brown, Black, and Middle Eastern migrants must be respected. Women deserve full reproductive justice, and equity in the workplace. We demand universal background checks and Medicare for All in order to ensure a safe and secure environment for everyone. We demand diversity and representation, and intersectionality must fuel the climate justice movement. Frontline communities must have a voice and leadership role, and we look to indigenous communities to lead the transition to a just and sustainable world. 6. We demand that humans protect the rights of nature.Just as humans have rights, nature has rights. Humans have a moral obligation to respect and protect plants, animals, and ecosystems. We demand that the rights of nature be legally represented. This includes legislation to provide sanctuary for endangered species, regulate hunting, and end deforestation, pollution, destructive fuel extraction, fracking, factory farming, and unsustainable agriculture. All life is interconnected, and we must live in harmony with the Earth. 7. We demand a just transition Countries and individuals that have contributed the most to climate change must be held accountable. We demand urgent climate action, including the GND, that protects vulnerable communities and create economic justice. Policies must respect workers’ rights ’to living wages and health care, young people’s rights to free, relevant education, and everyone’s right to affordable housing. To quote Movement Generation: Transition is inevitable. Justice is not. A just transition is the process of getting from where we are to where we need to be by transforming the systems of economy and governance. A just transition requires moving from a globalized capitalist industrial economy to linked local living participatory economies that provide well-being for all. For more information about the actions you can do through the week please visit our website: youthvsapocalypse.org -------------------------------------------------- Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T. P.O. Box 642656 San Francisco, CA 94164 www.temenos.org 415-305-2124 ---------------------------------------------------- We are in need of money for socks and food, our need for socks has increased three fold in the last year, and the Food bank is low on food, so we are having to purchase food at super markets. So please consider to give. Your donations are tax deductible. Give through mailing to P.O. Box 642656 or through Pay pal, which you can find on temenos.org. All checks to be tax deductible must be made to Temenos Catholic Worker. Thank you!

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