#so I was just sitting here grumbling to myself redrawing his boots

[sodacreampuff]

I miss him (the game isn't even out yet)

Reference pic under the cut

[lunarsaga]

EPISODE 4: A Secret Long Kept

WARNING: THE ART IN THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN BLOOD (as well as an artistic interpretation of demonic possession. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.

As a side note, the art in this chapter might be a little mismatched, as it was kind of put together from a couple tiny scenes. (and I didn't wanna redraw/color all of it ^^;) HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR LUNA'S TRAGIC BACKSTORY!! ENJOYYY~

Chapter 5 is already up on my Patreon! Hopefully I'll finish Chapter 6 soon, but my patrons will see it first!

The nightmares were over. Kagome, Miroku, Sango and Shippo were able to overcome Garamaru’s cocoons, and the nightmares he tried to trap them in, and it was all thanks to Inuyasha. As they gathered together, they watched as the Forest of Sorrow disappeared around them.

“Is everyone okay?” Kagome asked as she joined back up with the rest of them.

“We’re all fine now,” Sango answered, but… she was a little unsure. She glanced to the side, and Kagome followed her gaze to her sister, who was standing apart from the rest of them.

“Luna?” Kagome called to her. “You okay?”

“She seems rather distressed by what she saw,” Miroku said.

“I wonder what it was…” Sango uttered.

"I hope she's okay..." Shippo worried.

“Tche,” Inuyasha scoffed. “It’s not like it matters.”

For a second, Luna didn’t answer; she barely registered Kagome and her friends talking behind her. With her back turned to the rest of them, she was zoned out. Hazel-brown eyes stared blankly at the beat up little polaroid photograph in her hand, but her gaze was thousands of miles away, and hundreds of years in the future.

It may as well have been a relic from a different time. In the photo were two blissfully happy teenagers. One, a girl with fluffy black hair that fell in waves just above her shoulders. The other was a boy with strawberry-blonde hair, eyes so blue the sea would be jealous of their sparkle, and cheeks sprayed with freckles. He held the girl in his arms, grinning as his lips hovered close to her temple, ready to press a kiss there.

Kagome turned to Inuyasha, chastising: “Inuyasha! Why would you say that?!”

Defensively, Inuyasha’s volume only increased. “What?! You all had nightmares, if she doesn’t wanna talk about it, then it ain’t our business anyway!”

He's right, the little voice inside Luna's head whispered. It doesn't matter. It's not their burden to bear. Only yours. A burden you'll carry until the day you die...

"I love you, Lu."

You shouldn't have.

"I'll follow you anywhere."

You shouldn't have.

"I trust you... You can do this."

No, I couldn't. And now...

Worried about her sister’s lack of a response, Kagome went over to her, reaching for her shoulder. “Luna…?”

As she heard her sister step up behind her, Luna quickly hid the photo in the pocket of her flannel shirt. “I’m fine, you guys,” She said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. “Don’t worry about it.” She felt a single, solitary tear sliding down her face, and quickly wiped it as she turned back around.

“You’re my sister, Luna,” Kagome said softly, “I’ll always worry about you.”

“I promise it’s fine. Not like I’ve never had nightmares like that before.” Blinking back more tears, she patted her sister on the back and moved back toward the group. “Anyone else ready to get the hell outta here?”

“Forgive me, Luna, but you look like you were crying just now.” Miroku said.

“Must be allergies,” Luna quickly lied, “Never took well to insects, and that cocoon was nasty.”

“No surprise there,” Inuyasha, dense as ever, turned and started leading them away. “C’mon! We can’t waste time going after Naraku.”

Kagome hesitated, then reached out to grab her sister’s hand, holding her back. “Luna, you know you can talk to me, right? You’d tell me if something was bothering you?”

Luna didn’t look at her. “It was just a bad dream, Kags. I have a lot of them—kinda comes with the job.”

Kagome didn’t believe her, but she didn’t have a choice other than to let it go. One of these days, you’ll have to open up, Luna. And I promise I’ll be there for you when you do.

~~~

Luna wasn’t sure where exactly she took a wrong turn, but here she was in the middle of the damn forest, with no way to tell which way was up.

The others had stopped to make camp for the night, but Luna couldn’t get that nightmare out of her head, so she told them she was gonna take a walk to shake it off. It was just a memory, one that played in her head so often she should be used to it by now, but… something was different about it this time.

In all the similar nightmares she’d had before, usually, she had no hands. No mouth. No voice. When she moved, it was like she was moving through jell-o. She saw him—those sea-blue eyes and hair like strawberry honey, freckles like constellations and a smile from Heaven itself—saw him say the things he’d said back then:

“I love you,” He whispered, holding her close as the night sky above them exploded with fireworks. She saw the trails sparkle in his eyes just before he leaned in and they shared their first kiss.

Then, it was months later, as the autumn leaves crunched under her boots and her shotgun felt heavier in her hand. But even as she revealed her secret life—one of monsters and magic and danger—he was unwavering. Resolute. “I’ll follow you anywhere,” he said as he took her hand.

The last part… she couldn’t bear to think about, but this was what changed the most with her new nightmare.

Usually, she just saw him offering her encouragement, even though he was the one bleeding from his eyes: “I trust you… you can do this.” Then, she would scream, but no sound would come out, she’d spiral down into darkness and wake in a cold sweat.

But this time, it was different.

After he’d pledged to follow her anywhere, she was taken back to the place it all ended—a little overgrown shack, hidden out in the woods about half a mile from her house. It was their special place; a secret clubhouse of sorts. Polaroids hung on a string on the wall, and the small tree growing in the corner bore their initials: L.H. + J.D.. Shadows danced on the walls, and she couldn’t see more than three or four feet in every direction.

In her previous dreams, she could never speak or move like she could in the waking world, but this time, she felt almost fully conscious. She stood where she always had, facing him down—the same man. The one she fell in love with.

But it wasn’t him.

His sea-blue eyes had been completely overtaken by pitch black. His hands had been too, like they were made of pure shadow; shadow that curled down his forearms. His teeth were just as she remembered; stained red from choking on his own blood.

“You did this.” It wasn’t his voice. It was the creature that had taken him. “You killed him, little moonchild.”

She couldn’t argue. Her voice would work if she tried, but… even then, as she faced down the most lucid dream she’d had since the incident… she couldn’t speak.

“Nothing to say?” The demon taunted. “The eldest of the Mighty Higurashi family has nothing to say?”

“Shut up!” She’d finally said. She could feel the wetness of tears on her cheeks, but this had still been a dream. They floated around her like there was no gravity. “Is that all you have to say?!”

The demon seemed a little surprised of her response, so she kept going:

“I know! I fucked up! I brought him into a world he should never have been a part of, and I never should have in the first place! I put him in danger and I am the reason why he got killed!” The tears flowed freely, and even within the dream, she could feel her body shake with anger. “You can’t do shit to me, you greasy little fuck—anything you think you can say to me is shit I’ve already said to myself! You can’t hurt me!”

Maybe that was what shattered the dream; she didn’t remember anything after that. But that was never something she would share with anyone else.

No one else had to know about Jack. She was going to take her damning mistake to the grave.

And… now she was lost. Again.

“I gotta find a way to make a medieval GPS tracker or some shit…” she grumbled, cursing herself for having forgotten her compass in her backpack.

But then came a voice, one she recognized.

“Miss Luna!”

Around the bend of a large tree sat the little girl she’d helped out her first night in the Feudal Era; Rin. It’d been, what? A week or two since? And no sign of “Lord Sesshomaru”.

“Hey kid, you get left behind again?”

“This woman again?” That was the little imp Jaken; the somewhat irritating second hand to Rin’s guardian. Luna merely arched an eyebrow at him. At least Rin wasn’t completely alone.

“It’s okay!” Rin assured her, “Lord Sesshomaru will be back! Come and sit with us, I’m glad to see you again!”

“Don’t just invite random humans over!” Jaken protested.

“I don’t think your friend here agrees,” Luna chuckled.

“Don’t worry about Master Jaken!” Rin giggled, much to the chagrin of the tiny demon. “I would like to know more about you!”

Luna glanced away, hazel eyes locked in a thousand-yard stare. “...more about me, huh?”

“Yes,” the little girl nodded. “The last time we met, you said you were Miss Kagome’s older sister… are you a priestess like her?”

Luna chewed her lip, not sure how to answer. Pretty sure I don’t have powers like her... “I don’t think so. I’m more of… a demon slayer, I guess?”

That was only the first of many questions the little girl had for her. Why did she dress so strange? Where was she from? What was it like? Were there demons there too? Luna could barely keep up with answering all these questions.

“You talk way too much, Rin!” Jaken barked at one point. Luna watched the smile on Rin’s face falter, and glared at the little demon. “Hey, leave her be. I don’t mind.” She turned back to Rin, nudging her shoulder. “Why not tell me about you now, huh? How long have you been traveling with these two?”

When Luna had first met Rin, she had no idea that the “Lord Sesshomaru” the girl wanted to return to was actually Inuyasha’s cold, murderous older half-brother Kagome had described. Imagine her confusion when she had to reconcile the “evil, human-hating demon” with the guy this little girl trailed along behind so faithfully.

“Just a little while now!” Rin answered, “But it’s better than living around humans!”

Luna laughed. “You got that right… any reason why?”

“Well… I was alone… My family…” Rin’s face fell—the poor girl looked almost hollowly into the fire, hugging her knees to her chest as she recounted her past: “My parents and brothers… They were killed by bandits, then… after being on my own a while, I was attacked by wolves…”

There wasn’t a full moment of quiet before she perked back up again, grinning at Luna. “But Lord Sesshomaru saved me! And I’ve traveled with him and Master Jaken ever since! That’s why I don’t want to live with humans… humans are awful...”

Luna shrugged, sympathetic. “They can be, yeah. But you feel safe with these two, right?”

Rin nodded, grinning still. “Yes!”

“That’s the most important part.” She reached forward to ruffle the girl’s hair. “I was practically raised by a cat demon, you know.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. She’s protected my father’s family for three generations now—and she is hands down my best friend.”

“I don’t think I have a best friend…” Rin turned to Jaken, “Master Jaken, are we friends?”

“What?!” The little demon shouted, “No way! Why would a demon like me be friends with a human brat like you?!”

“Miss Luna’s best friend is a demon!” The girl pouted, and Luna swore she felt her heart melt.

“I’ll be your friend, kid.” She offered.

Seeing the little angel’s face light up like it did was absolutely everything. “Really?!”

“Yeah, really.” Suddenly, Luna got a weird little feeling in her gut. Like a disturbance in the Force, she joked to herself. Maybe it was just… the start of something bigger, something she wouldn’t know the full consequences of until much later.

“Actually…” She mumbled to herself. The gears turned in her head a little, and she turned back to look at Rin again. “You just gave me an idea.”