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#so I'm definitely remembering energy drinks exist tomorrow
parakeetpark · 1 year
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Figured out my truth
Gotta have fizzy energy drink exactly 2h before my shift ends because then I'm super happy
Then get asked in good faith "you having the time of your life today??" because I'm laughing at my colleagues messing around and singing under my breath etc and answer "Yeah actually!!" And notice my good mood
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xpeachesncream · 4 years
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perfectly wrong | one
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summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.
pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth
genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut
words: 2301
chapter warnings: cussing, mature language, very slight angst, some hints of jealousy, alcohol consumption
notes: pls remember that this is set a few months after you and tae have been going at it, so it will seem like things are happening a bit fast. i’m not trying to prolong this series. also most importantly, i tend to usually write shorter chapters > shorter, but more chapters published. enjoy!
> series masterlist <
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Jungkook decided he was going to see if he could jump over your couch and land perfectly in a seated position.
"Wait, wait, wait. Absolute silence everybody." He says as he's stretched over, trying to estimate the timing and height of his jump. He had always been super athletic and competitive since you two were small, so there was really no changing his mind on this. He always had to prove something, even if that meant creating his own competition of jumping over the couch.
"It's just me and you." You watched him from the kitchen, making sure the pizza in the oven was baking properly.
"I have an audience, okay? Don't be rude, Y/N." He says as he points over to the fake audience clapping and laughing during a 'Friends' episode.
"Whatever, as long as you don't go breaking my shit, Jeon Jungkook." He was 22, but his mentality was 8. That was for damn sure.
"Siiiiiiilence." He says at a whisper, his eyes shut as he puts a finger to his mouth. He lets out a huff and a puff before he gets the courage to throw himself over the couch and land a perfect landing. "And once again, he sticks the landing!" He stands up with his hands up in the air.
"You're annoying." You laughed, getting paper plates ready for the pizza that was about to be done because you were in no mood to do any dishes tonight.
"Thank you! I'll be here again tomorrow, same time." He calls out to his fake audience.
"No the hell you're not."
"Ouch, nevermind. Someone apparently doesn't want me here." You laugh at how dramatic he is. At this point, you just let him be because that was something you always loved about your bestfriend. He embraced the kid in him and always brought good times. You had similarities, but you also had some major differences. You liked being in your comfort zone & you were labeled the innocent nerd amongst your friends. You just like to consider yourself simple, though. A 'take it day by day' kind of person. Kookie was fun, adventurous and childish at times. He was also shy, but loud at the same time? An introverted extrovert, you could say.
But you loved each other nonetheless, that's why you've clicked so well since you were young. You taught each other things & grew together.
"Here, fool." You placed the pizza in front of him with the paper plates.
"Set it up, I'll grab us the drinks. You want anything in particular?"
"That bottle of Stella Rosa, please." JK knew you loved that Stella Rosa, so he happily grabs the bottle and two wine glasses. He plops back next to you on the couch, pouring your glasses and grabbing a heaping serving of 4 slices of pizza.
You both decided you want a good laugh, so you throw on Kevin Hart's newest installment: Zero Fucks Given. It isn't long before you both are rolling on the floor, almost gasping for air at how much you're laughing at Kevin Hart's stand up. The pizza is gone, the wine is gone, and you're still feeling pretty tipsy. The whole thing sounds nice, until your head starts to wonder what Taehyung is doing and if he'll text you to come over tonight. You know he probably already has plans with another chick though, and that hits you.
Curse this fucking alcohol.
Let's get this straight - the only time you 'talk' is when he's trying to fuck.
And yes bitch, you let him do this to you. You're out that door before you can even fully slip your shoes on. Dick is just that good. It's something about Taehyung that makes you addicted. The way he gives you a stupid ass smirk when he opens his door, the way he touches your skin and gently lays his shit on you until you both become really invested in the moment. So invested that shit hits the roof. It gets messy. It gets rough. It becomes unspeakable.
You aren't friends. No one knows about you two, or that you even know the other exists. You don't know shit about each other. The only thing you know is that he's fucking other girls. He has a whole roster, you'd imagine - a starting five, at least.
He doesn't care about you, and for the most part, you don't either. At least, that's what you like to portray because it's been some months now since this whole thing started and you can't help but feel some kind of emotional tie to him. You're leaving your house between 12-2am in the morning and sleeping in his bed until 6-7am. It's a routine; a routine you've become used to. You skip out on some late night kick-its with your friends cause you anticipate a text to come through from him.
But, he doesn't care. You aren't the only female slipping into those sheets, and boy does it fucking make it hard to swallow. Reality hits hard when you think about it and you feel this huge pit in your stomach. You try to be different, you try to stand out one way or another. But it doesn't work that way. You knew what this entailed going into it, so it makes zero sense as to why you're hurting and getting jealous from time to time.
You know it still doesn't matter to him.
He's only fucking you over cause you let him. You know damn well you're not gonna change and let this go, though. You love thrill of it too much. It's the most thrill your life has had. You're not perfect and you're only human. You make mistakes, but this one definitely puts the cherry on top. Because not only do you refuse to learn, but you let it repeat itself over and over again.
"Aishhhh, my stomach hurts from laughing too much." Jungkook laid his head back and patted his belly. "But that was good though. I needed that."
"Yeah it was. Thanks for coming by to watch that with me, Kook." He tilts his head over to look at you and smiles.
"Sure thing." He checks his phone and sits up. "Yoongi is blowing up the group chat." You check your phone to see multiple unread messages from none other than Min Yoongi himself.
[yoongi] 10:37pm: aye
[yoongi] 10:45pm: all of a sudden, everyone is ghost in this group chat?! you all had a lot to say not too long ago.
[yoongi] 10:52pm: even though you guys are fake as fuck, does anyone wanna come with me to the bars tonight? meet at my place so we can head out.
You and Jungkook laughed at how butthurt Yoongi was in the groupchat. Yoongi definitely was the most serious and blunt one in your group, but he still liked to party and have a good time. It was just how he was. Hoseok was always full of energy and probably the most extroverted one out of all 4 of you. He was never shy. You and Jungkook met Yoongi and Hoseok your first year in college and became inseparable ever since. You all just click with your different attributes.
[jungkook] 10:53pm: lmaoooooooo
[yoongi] 10:53pm: fuck you dude lol
[jungkook] 10:54pm: i'll come through in a sec, i'm at y/n's right now. not sure if she's gonna come though?
[y/n] 10:55pm: i'll pass, i'm tired and wined out.
[hoseok] 10:55pm: ahahahah yoongi shut up, blowing up my phone for no reason. i'm passing on tonight too. im tired from working that overtime *cries*
[yoongi] 10:56pm: you both are boring. i'm especially offended at how i didn't get an invite to your little powwow, y/n. and now you don't wanna hang out?
[hoseok] 10:57pm: she mentioned she was going to watch kevin hart's thing yesterday and offered us to swing by if we wanted to though....... selective hearing, maybe?
[y/n] 10:58pm: ^ okayyyyy and that's on period! thank you hobi <3
[hoseok] 10:59pm: anything for the baby
[yoongi] 10:59pm: lmao you're a brat, y/n. whatever, i'm still hurt by you both! kook, hurry on over so we can drink
"Fuck I regret this, I'm gonna die." Jungkook laughed as he stood up and stretched. He quickly helped you clean up before he figured it was time to go or else Yoongi would have a fit.
"I feel like it has to do with that one girl he's been talking to on and off."
"Perhaps." Jungkook shrugged before putting on his shoes. "We shall see." he sighs before giving you a tight hug. "You sure you don't wanna come out?"
"Nope."
"You don't even have plans tonight."
"Yes I do."
"Doing what?"
"Laying in bed." Jungkook snorted as you shook your head and shrugged. What else did he think you were trying to do? He should know you by now, at the very least.
"Alright, I'm not even going to argue. I'm off."
"Be safe, have fun, text me if you both need anything, okay?" He nods as he shuts the door, leaving you to your lonesome. You swirled the teeny tiny drop of wine leftover in your glass around before picking up your phone.
No new texts. Well, let's be specific: no new texts from taehyung.
You did forget to respond to your oldest cousin though, when he was just trying to check up on you.
[seokjin] 8:35pm: pssst y/n
[seokjin] 8:35pm: psssssssssst
[seokjin] 8:35pm: oyyyyyyyyyy
He was damn near 30 years old and hated talking on the phone so much that he decides to blow up your phone this way. But, he was the cousin you loved dearly and you had a very tight, sibling-like relationship with him. He was like the older brother you've always wanted. He watched you grow, protected you, kept you safe, supported you and cheered you on - especially when your family talked so much shit about how you and him weren't gonna get anywhere with your goals. You know, the fucking stupid ol' saying of 'chasing your passion isn't going to bring you money & wealth.' Your family was all about the titles and money, but Jin was passionate about cooking and wanted to open his own cafe. You, on the other hand, wanted to pursue your art. Jin was the biggest role model for you because he was the first to defy your family's wants and wishes. He was the black sheep of the family with a huge 'I don't give a fuck' mentality and he taught you that along the way.
Don't ever be afraid to do what you're passionate about. Fuck 'em.
[y/n] 11:13pm: hi sorry, jungkook was over and we were watching kevin hart's new thing on netflix over some wine and pizza.
[seokjin] 11:15pm: that sounds fun! sorry, i just wanted to check on you but i see you're doing okay lol
[y/n] 11:16pm: i am. :) i'll hang out with you tomorrow
[seokjin] 11:16pm: how sweet, my freeloading baby cousin is coming by
[y/n] 11:17pm: hahahah shut up! although you're not wrong, i am going to steal some food. but most importantly, i do want to hang out and see my bestest oppa <3
[seokjin] 11:18pm: awww y/n, you're so full of shit <3
[seokjin] 11:18pm: go to bed
[y/n] 11:19pm: haha love you tooooo
And so, that's what you did. You got yourself all ready for bed, believing you wouldn't be leaving your house tonight. You pampered yourself, put on a face mask and got yourself all lathered up in lotion just to lay down. You're in Jungkook's shirt that he left behind (and never looked for, so technically it's yours now) when the guys had stayed the night and some Vicky Secret panties.
You're scrolling through your Instagram feed, seeing Jungkook's newly posted story with him and Yoongi already at the bars, acting a damn fool. You laughed at the video he took of Yoongi trying to dance in a tight, awkward space on the crowded dance floor even though he was never the best at dancing. It lowkey made you wish you went out with them so you wouldn't be stuck here thinking about your feelings and how lonely these hours get.
And then you see Jimin's story from an hour ago. He knew you were friends with Yoongi, and although Yoongi wasn't fond of their group too much, he was still an avid party-goer and mingled with people there. You've only spoken to Jimin once because you had to work with him in the same group on a class assignment. You tried to keep it that way though because he was Taehyung's bestfriend. They went everywhere together, did everything together. He, too, was very popular among the ladies and across campus. I guess it was just their thing.
You assume they were at a party cause Jimin quickly flashes the camera at Taehyung, who's in front of him getting a lapdance from some chick. Jimin quickly turns the camera back to his face as he's laughing uncontrollably then abruptly cuts it off.
Great.
She's forsure going home with him tonight.
You set your phone down on the night stand and put on a show on your laptop to help you fall asleep.
Just as you're about to get some shut eye, your phone vibrates. You let it slip at first because you thought it could be one of the guys playing around, but it vibrates again, signaling another text coming through. You pick up your phone just to make sure Yoongi and Jungkook aren't in any trouble and need you to bail their asses out.
[taehyung] 12:17am: hey
[taehyung] 12:20am: come over.
You scoff at how he assumes you're still up and that you'd be coming over. You hated that. He knew he just had your ass.
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track two: hit different - sza & ty dolla $ign
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lunavadash-creates · 3 years
Note
Hello there! It's your favorite Knifey of all knifeys.!
Sorry for lack of response but.. but what. I dont know if it's because of vaccine, but I'm exhausted lately. I could sleep all day and all night. My concentration doesn't exist anymore. And yes, vaccine knocked me out! My hand didn't hurt to be honest, but I had high fever and migraine. I got blood test to see if there is anything wrong, but the results are good. I have no idea what's going on. 😐
How are you Sweetie? Did you have proper rest after your trip? Tell me how it was! What did you see! Tell me everything!
I was thinking about words you said. That adventures starting in a secret are the best ones. You were right. When I got my dog I was trying to hide my allergy for almost 4 month! I was determined to have a doggo, so I have been talking my friend's meds for allergy as she is hardcore allergic. I admit, it was stupid and irresponsible, but definitely it was worth all the risk!
Haha, yes, I was in Venice and in Florence and other Italian cities. I just love travelling! It's not I am from wealthy family or something, I am not. I have no savings, because I spend all my money on traveling. I was working for 3 month everyday for 12-13 hours in a pub so I could spend half month in South Korea. Dealing with all those creepy and drunk men was also worthy!
And I just wanted to say you are the sweetest! Your messages always make me smile! Always! Thank you so much for all your encouraging words! They make me feel better! Your messages, your writing, everything.! I love to check your blog, I love content you share with your followers. And you deserve all the support! Please don't change, you are wonderful and so asdfghjkllove!💕
Sorry for all mistakes and grammar, my brain doesn't want to cooperate.
Loads of love! Take care of yourself or Altair will be highly disappointed if you don't! And me too.!
🔪
Dont worry about response! Its worth waiting to see your message in my inbox! And I get it, vaccines are scary and you never know how it will make you react. For example i had jj vaccine my hand hurt for like 5 days but except from that i was fine! So if you feel exhausted just rest, drink water, eat something tasty. Im happy you are not so much more safer! I hope you'll feel better soon, please keep me updated!
Ah as for me... I have health problem again. My leg suddenly got swollen almost 3 weeks ago and now it hurts a lot so I cant walk. I already have usg of veins and x-Ray but it showed nothing so tomorrow ill call another doctor and make appointement.
Fortunately my trip was amazing! What I saw? Well I love museum so we went to musaum of torture and museum of sex toys. Honestly the second one was my fave - the have sex toys from all around the world and from different periods. Like they have full bdsm equipement and shoes and ancient roman prostitutes (u know, the ones that left foot print on the ground with words 'follow my foot steps'). It was so amazing! I also saw charles university, charles bridge, rose gardens, cafhedrals and all amazing places. I also was in metro! (there is 1 line of metro in my country and its in the capital). I also had Czech McDonalds which is so tasty! And for the first time in ny life i was in a vegan/vegetarian restaurant and i truly liked the food!
As for adventures. It was my firdt. I love traveling but unfortunately i have no friends to travel with. So I used to travel with family and prague was my first, alone travel abroad to visit a friend. I hope i can do it more often because world has so much to offer. And you know what? Our lives are so short there is no point of wasting them on being afraid to risk!
YOU WERE IN SOUTH KOREA?! I ENVU U SO MUCH GOOD GODS. Knifey you are such a role model for me 🥺💜 i want ti be as brave as you. And hard working as you.
Tell me everything please?
Also doggy! Yes, hiding allergy wasnt the smartest move but im glad you are fine (you are, right?). I hope you can fight thst allergy and enjoy floofy companions!
One again thank you for your kind words and support. Honestly I want to change a bit, i need to go back to who i used to be in terms of working. I cant focus on stuff, i cant make myself do things i love. It tiring, you know? I used to read one book a day. Write a lot and a lot of fiction and my own stories. I used to study Japanese fir fun, writing all the signs and trying to remember them. Now I feel like a wreck that cant concentrate. But I will work hard to become a better person so I can post more! And I wish to make more people happy. You know whag is for me the biggest achievement? When people say i managed to make them smile/laugh and something i made made them happy. Your messages give me so much positive energy! Thank you again!
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You asked for pictures so here is astronomical clock, president Palace and a rose from rose garden!
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justcallmemav · 6 years
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7/20/18
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Pt.20
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“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”
(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)
“You trust people too easy, girl.”
( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )
“You put yourself in this situation.”
( I didn't ask for it.)
“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”
(I loved him for five years.)
▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.
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▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.
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▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.
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▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.
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▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.
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▪   I think this is it.
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▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.
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      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.
      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.
     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.
This is it.
I have nothing left.
     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.
     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.
                  This was the last time.
It didn't work before.
           It has to work now.
                          So I begged, and I cried.
I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.
Please take me now.
        I want to come home.
                      I think I'm ready now.
JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.
      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.
      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…
                      Boom
                         So bitter.
                        Yet so good.
Was this the only way i could be happy again?
I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.
I've heard the rumors.
Does it seem as free as they say?
            Then along came the thump.
                       ALAS~
Nothingness.
Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.
Thump.. Thump….. Thump….
After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.
               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.
I struggle to come to consciousness.
                 I find it nearly impossible.
Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.
                A voice so faint and familiar.
After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.
My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.
“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”
I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.
       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.
Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?
I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.
“Is my dad okay?”
Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?
·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.
·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.
·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.
I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.
He asked me three things.
“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”
“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”
My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.
I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.
I saw my father crying and shaking.
 I saw his girlfriend crying.
    I saw my father's coworker crying.
          I was embarrassed.
Yet, too weak to care.
I muttered to the medic under my breath;
“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”
I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.
          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.
“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”
“Do I have to take off my ring?”
“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”
Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.
All consciousness was lost.
How could I harm anyone with a ring?
She should have been patient, anyways.
~Don't rush me.~
       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.
       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.
        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.
I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.
          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.
    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.
ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.
         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.
         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.
         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.
        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.
       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.
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Am I going home?
Are they moving me again?
What did I do wrong?
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  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~
    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.
It's obvious what I chose.
It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.
You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.
Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.
If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.
“I lost you once I can't lose you again”
You won't have to.
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mobprincessdani · 5 years
Conversation
text || Dani & Rachel
Rachel: [https://mobprincessdani.tumblr.com/post/190563355061/sms-rachel-dani]
Dani: Hey there cutie
Rachel: Do you work tomorrow night?
Dani: Depends, does it benefit me if I am?
Rachel: I would say so. You’d get to see me 🙂
Dani: Yeah, I am. I work most nights. Unless my uncle starts thinking I'm working too much, then he forbids me from it.
Rachel: I’m glad you have him to make you step back once and a while.
Rachel: Friday’s my usual pizza day.
Dani: It's annoying, mostly. He just gets worried if he thinks I'm ignoring my school work for actual work.
Dani: I'll keep that in mind.
Rachel: Never be annoyed by people caring for you.
Dani: They're overprotective. Which, while appreciated, is also very annoying.
Rachel: They have reason to be, Dani.
Dani: I take care of myself just fine.
Rachel: I wasn’t trying to question that.
Dani: They act like they haven't taught me to fight or shoot a gun or manage my time and energy.
Rachel: They love you.
Dani: I know they do.
Rachel: Are you into weird sex things?
Dani: Define weird
Rachel: I guess anything that isn’t vanilla.
Dani: There are different levels of kink but, overall, I'm pretty open
Rachel: Cool. A lot of people online had been into pretty kinky things.
Dani: I have had some very interesting things offered to me, for sure. And have agreed to some of them, though didn't necessarily enjoy them.
Rachel: Do I get to hear the ones you did enjoy?
Dani: Maybe one day.
Dani: What about you? What are you into?
Rachel: I have an idea but I haven’t exactly explored.
Dani: Tell me?
Rachel: Well, biting. Blind folds maybe. Choking.
Rachel: I’m telling you that as a friend.
Dani: Biting is fun. Never been on the receiving end of the other two, but they're fun to do to other people.
Rachel: It seems so sensual to have to rely on your senses.
Dani: It's quite the exercise in trust, as well.
Rachel: Trust is hard for me to give, I think.
Dani: It's certainly not something to take lightly.
Rachel: You’re right.
Dani: I've only done them once or twice. But that's what happens when someone just wants you for you money
Rachel: Do you want to have a girlfriend one day?
Dani: I had one, when I was younger. We were in high school, her family moved out of state and I took the breakup hard. Not a lot of people knew her family moved, so it was rumored that my father had her and/or her family killed for breaking up with me.
Dani: I haven't had one since and I do want one but the rumors scare people off.
Rachel: How ignorant.
Rachel: I’m sorry it can’t be so simple.
Dani: It sucks, honestly.
Dani: My little sister has it worse, though. She has to deal with the general family rumors and then the ones about me.
Rachel: There are that many?
Dani: The mob ties are well known but not provable. So, yes.
Rachel: I’m not scared off easy.
Dani: I hope so.
Rachel: I’m also not a liar.
Rachel: I don’t say things I don’t mean.
Dani: I don't doubt you are, but sometimes circumstances change.
Rachel: They’re about to change, aren’t they?
Dani: They could. The closer we get, no matter the context, the rumors will come back to you.
Rachel: I crave attention. You may not know that about me.
Dani: Yeah, but attention from people because you might have ties to the mob, is not good.
Rachel: Any attention is better than none.
Dani: Not when it can get you hurt.
Rachel: Can’t I flip that around on you?
Dani: I was born into this life. I was taught how to deal with the rumors and I was taught how to defend myself. If rumors and lies exist like webs, my family are spiders. Unfortunately, that turns a lot of innocent people into prey, even if we're not the ones doing the preying.
Dani: Guess we'll just have to see which you are, spider, prey, or something bigger.
Rachel: What could possibly be bigger than a spider?
Rachel: Will I be seeing you this evening?
Dani: Literally most things, to be fair.
Dani: You should be, yeah.
Rachel: I fear finding out could mean we aren’t meant to be friends.
Rachel: I’ve scheduled some open houses.
Dani: Being big enough to break through the excess webbing isn't always a bad thing. As long as you leave the spider unharmed.
Dani: Oh? That's good.
Rachel: I’d never harm a spider.
Rachel: I feel like you should come with me.
Dani: Can't tell if that's foolish of you or not.
Dani: I certainly can, provided I don't have class.
Rachel: I get to decide that.
Rachel: Next weekend.
Dani: Is that so?
Dani: I can be there, just not like hella early. One of my cousins is coming in and my uncle wants me to entertain him, so I agreed to that, which means a likely hangover.
Rachel: Of course it’s so.
Rachel: That sounds like fun.
Dani: Dude isn't bad and he pays for my drinks, but he mixes them strong while we watch movies and somehow always end up watching porn. Which is weird, because we both end up awkwardly heading to bed to get ourselves off. Just to come back and watch more movies with more alcohol until we somehow hit porn again.
Dani: We have a weird relationship.
Rachel: That’s a lot of information.
Dani: Consider it a heads up, cos I have a very fun habit of drunk texting.
Rachel: You’d think about me completely obliterated?
Dani: I kinda just default to whoever I've been texting most at the time.
Rachel: That could change.
Dani: I doubt it
Rachel: I like that reassurance.
Rachel: You’re the only person I’m texting. Mostly.
Dani: Outside of family and like classmates, you're basically it for me.
Rachel: I think some may consider that lame.
Dani: I don't have friends, remember?
Rachel: You have me.
Dani: I meant besides you
Rachel: Right. I’m glad you didn’t forget.
Dani: Kinda hard to
Rachel: Because I’m unforgettable? 😛
Dani: Because we're texting, dork
Rachel: I’m no such thing, Dani.
Dani: Mmhmm, sure
Rachel: 😮
Dani: What?
Rachel: Well, it’s not the meanest thing I’ve been called
Dani: I meant no offense, darling
Rachel: I’m glad.
Dani: So, what're you up to?
Rachel: Research mostly. Preparing for some auditions I have going on tomorrow.
Dani: What kind of research?
Rachel: Research about sex and things.
Dani: Oh? Cool. Learn anything fun?
Rachel: No, not fun.
Dani: No?
Rachel: I just seem to find it more daunting the more I read.
Dani: Sex or kink?
Rachel: Sex.
Dani: Oh.
Rachel: Weren’t expecting that?
Dani: Not really, no.
Rachel: I’m full of surprises.
Dani: I guess you are.
Rachel: I’m quite thankful you messaged me when you did.
Rachel: I was ready to just give myself away.
Dani: I was honestly a little surprised, when I saw your profile.
Dani: There are some NASTY fuckers on that site, too.
Rachel: I figured I’d be able to handle the nasty.
Rachel: I’m a little desperate. I have nothing else to offer.
Dani: Like, I'm into some shit but some of the stuff I've been told about people asking for... not the kind of thing you want your first time to include. Not even the kind of stuff you'd want your... 50th time. Like, no fault to those who like it, but... yikes.
Rachel: I was hoping I could find someone reasonable.
Rachel: But I can handle anything.
Rachel: I know that I want things that are more than vanilla. I can’t know what if I haven’t tried.
Dani: Yeah, but getting into it with someone who wants a very specific kind of kink and finding out it's not the thing you're into can get weird. Or so I've heard.
Rachel: If the money was good enough.
Rachel: But it doesn’t matter.
Dani: I'm definitely glad I was the one to find you, now more so than before.
Rachel: I hope that I will be worth it.
Dani: You already are, dork.
Rachel: You say that.
Dani: And it won't change.
Rachel: I have no reason to think you’re lying to me.
Dani: And you shouldn't, because I'm not.
Rachel: I quite fancy the place with the window seat.
Dani: Window seats are the bomb.
Rachel: Ha!
Rachel: I’d have to agree.
Dani: There's really nice bay window with one at my parent's house and I used to sit there and play guitar for hours on rainy days.
Rachel: That sounds really wonderful. I bet they loved it.
Dani: I'm sure I annoyed them when I hit my teen angst phase and was only playing like really depressing rock songs, but other than that, probably
Rachel: The fact you’d still share yourself like that is incredible.
Dani: It's my favorite spot in the house
Rachel: I hope to see it one day.
Rachel: In pictures of course
Dani: I mean, I doubt mother would mind if I came for a visit and brought a friend. IF you ever wanted to see it in more than pictures.
Rachel: Is that what friends do?
Dani: Does it stop being things friends do when you graduate high school or something?
Rachel: I didn’t have many friends in high school lol
Dani: Really? You certainly are full of surprises
Rachel: I was part of many groups and clubs and there were some people who had a certain fondness for me but it was never really...more than surface level.
Dani: Huh, interesting
Rachel: Sure.
Dani: What?
Rachel: I don’t think it should come off as surprising. I’m a lot. I’m different. It’s what makes me special and what is going to help me on my way to stardom.
Dani: But you're not? A lot, I mean. I've got cousins fifty times more dramatic and a hundred times harder to handle and they're fucking popular as hell.
Dani: It just doesn't make sense to me.
Rachel: I grew up in Ohio.
Rachel: I’m also competitive to a fault.
Dani: Ohio kinda explains it, I guess
Rachel: It’s never felt important to have friends before
Dani: I guess that makes sense
Rachel: I’ll keep you
Dani: I'm glad
Rachel: I should be asleep
Dani: So should I, but I haven't even left the shop. Something went down and father didn't want me heading home alone but still hasn't managed to find someone to escort me there.
Dani: Like, I have a gun, I know how to use it, I'll be fine in an uber.
Rachel: Like a big strong tough guy?
Dani: Usually, yeah.
Rachel: I don’t know any of those lol
Dani: I'm related to entirely too many of them
Rachel: You’ll have to introduce me
Dani: No
Rachel: Okay.
Dani: I just don't want you getting more mixed up in my family business than you need to
Rachel: Understood
Dani: I'm literally about to say fuck it and call an uber anyway
Rachel: I trust you’d only do that if you were completely certain you are safe. So do it!
Dani: Honestly, I just want to go home. Like, they won't even tell me what fucking happened. So it's like, I'm supposed to be scared or worried but mostly I'm just fucking annoyed
Rachel: Go home!
Dani: I'll text you when I get there. I have to go fight with a man about letting me go home.
Rachel: Promise?
[5 am]
Dani: remind me to NEVER try and argue with my father.
Dani: I'm home, by the way.
Rachel: Thank goodness! I was worried.
Dani: Please tell me one of us got sleep
Rachel: I slept!
Dani: I didn't wake you
Rachel: No. you had impeccable timing.
Dani: That's good
Rachel: I wake up at 5 most days.
Rachel: Have you slept yet?
Dani: Fair enough
Dani: No. But I'm gonna try soon. Had some business to attend to after last night.
Rachel: Business? Are you going to keep it so vague?
[later]
Dani: Yep.
Dani: Ugh, did not get enough sleep. But there are things I must do.
Rachel: What things?
Dani: Things with my father.
Rachel: My auditions went well today.
Dani: That's good, I'm glad to hear it.
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