#so are my mommy issues every time joyce and will are on screen but we dont talk abt that

[calypsoff]

Eighty Two. Part 5

Rubbing Rylee’ back and she let out most of the milk, she wasn’t keeping it down. I can’t breastfeed, I am just not into it and it’s not working so I gave her the bottle, and she doesn’t like it, but drank it. She bought most of it up anyways “I am going to miss her so much Robyn, she is so beautiful. A diamond to me, I love her” I cooed out, it’s cute to see how much they dote on my daughter, you can see the love they have and I don’t think Chris has actually attempted to hold her since we came back, the thing is that this could have all been avoided if he just shut his mouth, this just shows that he actually talks about me to his peers, I didn’t think he does but now I officially do know he does, imagine saying to a male peer that my wife snores, if it was TJ then fine because he’s been around for years but Drake, he doesn’t know him like that at all. I just feel so deflated about everything, but I am not going to have him ruin my daughter’ first Christmas at all, he can fuck off with that attitude “mommy playing with your toes? You not like it?” She keeps moving her feet away every time I touch them “being fussy now aren’t you” I am going to do it for her, I will go back to Cali and just get on with it for my daughter, placing her over my shoulder. I have missed her a lot “are you going soon?” Joyce asked “she’s been fed, she’s the important one. I just want to go” Joyce just stared at me in sadness, I mean what can she do “he’s always been very temperamental, I’m sure you know that” nodding my head laughing “oh I do, I married that, he’s hard-headed. I don’t know if I can say he has changed because I always kind knew what mouth he had, I knew that he can be mean and when he’s in that moment he can actually just destroy a whole day just being that, and he doesn’t like to hear it either. I think I’ve been lucky he’s let me have a say in things to begin with but now he thinks I belittle him because I have money, but it’s not your issue Joyce. I will deal with him” I can’t expect his mother to be at him “since he came out of jail he was always very temperamental with us, jail did change my son but he is a good guy” she says that but I remained quiet “he needs you more then he assumes Robyn, I know that for sure” it’s wrong to say those to me, that I am tied to Chris like that because I can’t deal with his shit sometimes “let me use your phone” Chris came out of nowhere and asked “mine is bust” you know what, I know for a fact I have Rakim number in there and messages, nothing serious but why should I “how about you hold your daughter? Ask that, be a father?” He said it to me “how would you know what a father is supposed to be like?” Those words knocked me for ten, I wasn’t expecting it “I’m sorry” he apologised quicker than ever, he knows it. I can literally feel my heart beating “Christopher” Joyce said, I was going to cry but I sure did stop myself “I didn’t mean it I just wanted your phone, let me have Rylee. I’ll use Austin phone, be back” licking my top lip, I want to cry but I am trying so hard not too, I felt him go.

I breathed out, the longest breath I held. Rylee on the other hand is becoming irritated but shes probably getting the vibe from me “thank you Joyce, I’m going to get my things. I need to go” getting up from the couch, Rylee randomly started crying, shushing her as I walked around the couch to go upstairs “aww what’s wrong with her?” Clinton asked “emotional” I smiled; I am just in shock right now. Like what the fuck, I know he’s been trying to get at me because of what I said about Drake, but he’s pushed me, I am hurt by him again, what the fuck “hey baby, why are you crying. It’s ok” rubbing her back, walking around with a crying baby is no fun either but she is so emotional. Closing the bedroom door, forget me being emotional because Rylee is doing it for me now. Sitting on the edge of the bed, carefully holding Rylee out to me “hey, Rylee Fenty, little momma. Hey, it’s ok, what’s wrong” her cries started to quieten down, her little meltdown seems to be coming to an end “you’re not hungry, no? You just want a little cry?” Staring into her eyes, she is looking into mine “on behalf of mommy yeah” my voice broke, now I am getting teary eyed “I’m glad you’re calm, need to wrap you up. Time to go home for us both” leaning to her and pressing a kiss to her forehead, as I moved back Rylee smiled “oh my heart” she is pulling at my heart right now.

Mel is FaceTiming me as I make sure I have all the things with me, but I am pretty much done “I do miss her face, oh guess who I saw?” Picking up the duffel bag from the floor of the bedroom “who is that?” Looking at my phone screen “Ronald, I was walking towards the store, and he just come out of it, I said hi what you are doing there. He goes oh my girlfriend wants clothes, I goes girlfriend? Since when but I just didn’t say anything and continued on. But did you know?” Shaking my head “I didn’t but then again I haven’t really spoken to my dad since, so that is why. Maybe she is good for him because I mean he is quiet now, he isn’t selling stories about me and stuff, maybe she is good” I shrugged “he always goes for ugly women” I gasped “besides Monica, stop it!!” She better be joking “I really want to come Barbados Mel, I am literally missing it, just the peace of my actual home” I just want to escape, Mel sighed out “you know you have a lot to deal with and coming here will be a mess” she is right “yeah, Chris and I spoke. Not in the way you think, I know you’re smiling like I mean that way. He said can I use your phone, I would give it but I am annoyed he shouted at me about being a good mother so I said how about you be a father and he just spewed this out, he literally said how would you know what a father is like?” Mel’ face dropped “exactly, and he knows that is my issue, but he wants to say that. He’s so fucking unbearable” I huffed out, I don’t want to cry “come to Barbados fuck him” I knew she would say that “I can’t, I’m staying. I don’t want to be hiding away from my troubles, also he might even up at the OVO compound if I go, he’s so lost in that man’s life now” I am going to be strong about this, I got to be “actually can you do me a three way with Drake, I just have something to say to him. Please” Mel has his number of course.

I let out a deep sigh before answering the call “Aubrey, Rihanna, Rihanna, Aubrey” she is so dumb sometimes “look I didn’t want to speak to you on a real because I have enough shit to deal with, but I want to know what your intentions are with Chris? I don’t feel they are pure and it’s really fucking me up, and I know you. I know so well, you purposely said that on the live because you knew Chris and I went Bora Bora together, so we were going back together. You aren’t being real Drake and I don’t like it” I just know I’m going to hear lies from him “I have no intention; Chris is great guy. We get on, and I went to see him win. We speak on clothing lines, I want him to have a career, I want him to rap, he can rap. He has it all, I joke a lot, but I mean it. The tour thing was my chance to push him on it, I offered him to be in my music video, but you seem to be blocking his way, no fault of my own. That’s on you” my eyes bulged out “I am blocking his way? Nah, listen here. You’re in my marriage, you’re practically manipulating my husband. He thinks you’re a good guy, you’re not. I left Rakim for him, I would never go to you. Is this what it is, your motive is to get at my husband because I don’t want to be with you” I feel like that it is “not really, like I said. I like your husband; he is a good guy. He wants you and also wants a life Rihanna, you can’t just put boundaries on him like that, you got to trust him. He talks to me, and he feels it with you, that you do not trust him, you think he is cheating when he isn’t, a marriage isn’t going to work if you are going to act the way you do” he is so manipulative “and this is why I don’t ever want to date you and I never will, see how you turn this on me. You know what, I can’t make him get rid of you but your true colours will come through soon, you want to give him the world and he will then come crumbling down, I see right through you” I really can, this is why I didn’t go for him like that “you are so stuck up Rihanna, you really are. Not everything is about you, I mean ok like you rejected half of the industry for fucking ASAP Rocky, a nobody really. You think you are above, you go for nobodies for that reason” he is getting annoyed “so you think you want to help my husband make a name for himself, you know what Drake. I am onto you, and you are right. He won’t be going on tour with you” he really won’t be “if that makes you happy and not him, so be it” disconnecting the call, I am bored of hearing him talking shit, he doesn’t know me at all.

I am about ready to go now but I have nobody to help with bags because Chris isn’t around for me, I mean of course he isn’t. While Rylee is asleep I can quickly go downstairs with some of the stuff, looking over at Rylee and she is knocked out asleep after that little crying fit she had earlier. Pulling open the door so it will make it easier for me to just go and take these down, Chris has been hiding away from me, as he would. Grabbing the baby bag and my suitcase, pulling it along making my way out “hey” a light knock, looking up seeing Clinton “hi” I smiled “put that down, no. Don’t do that, let me do it for you, come on” he waved me over, reaching for the bag and suitcase “thank you, we can do it together and go downstairs “no, you take Rylee and go down, don’t be doing this at all” he is so kind “thank you” I am thankful for Clinton that he has helped me to go down “can you make sure you look around before you leave, when you get the last of the bags please” picking Rylee off of the bed, I got her changed into her warm clothes, her coat is on. The grandparents bought her a coat, I didn’t bring it when I came so they bought her one, it’s adorable on her. Bringing her close to me, placing the pacifier in her mouth, she did scrunch her face up looking to cry but not on my watch, she can go back to sleep until we leave and then she can wake up and cry. Following behind Clinton “come on then, you should have asked me. I would help you, don’t do that again” he is so sweet, I wasn’t going to ask him.

I have no idea where Chris is or if he is coming but I know I am going back home “get the door” Clinton said to Austin, he is just stood the gawking at me, like can he get anymore annoying with that face of his, I think that is the driver anyways “oh Robyn, remember if you need us to take care of her we are here. We are going to miss her so much, we really are” I know they are both going to miss her “the door is always open in California for when you want to visit us, I will try and send pictures, it’s just a lot of people. I need to make a group chat for Rylee pictures. I get it from my family too, they are always saying. Send me pictures every day” I chuckled “it’s for you Rih” looking behind Clinton, the driver is here “tell him to take my cases please for me” I pointed out, the driver smiled “Miss Fenty there is paparazzi outside also” I let out a deep breath “really? How many?” that is crazy “I would say like four, I came rushing inside you see” of course there is paparazzi outside “oh dear, who told them” I know who told them, I am looking at Austin, but I will just not say anything, this family can be full of drama.

Clinton is ever so concerned, he wants to help me to go to the car, but I can handle it “ready when you are” the driver said, he can walk me. Seeing Chris came up from behind his parents, he has been hiding away from me like a bitch he is “you couldn’t wait?” he said, turning on my heels “let’s go” he can go and fuck himself; I am so pissed that paparazzi is outside my in-laws’ home, there is no privacy here at all, not when we have his family snitching on everything we do. Holding Rylee close to me “Rihanna, you looking beautiful. How is your daughter?” I just want to get into the SUV, so I won’t be bothering putting her in the car seat “Chris! What do you have to say about the pictures that got leaked” the driver opened my door for me “feels good to be me man, you know how it is” getting into the SUV, I will just have Rylee in my arms because I can’t be bothered to be dealing with the car seat. I will also deal with Chris once we get back to California, I don’t actually want to hear him right now, I just want to go home first and then we can have the slanging match, that is what it will be with the both of us.

[timehealsfanfictionbka]

Time Heals....Epilogue

She paused in front of the large photo occupying the back wall of the living room and pressed her hand to her cheek. Without warning, large arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against a muscled chest, “you ok, Baby?”

“I’m good. Just looking.”

“You stare at that picture a lot.”

“It is a nice picture.”

“You stare at it like you waiting for something to disappear from it.”

“Huh? No. It’s just shocking but a good kind.”

“After five years.”

“After twenty years, I’m probably still gonna be standing in front of it in shock.”

“Why?”

“I never expected this but I love it.”

Chris smiled as he kissed her cheek and swayed her side to side, “I love it too. What’s shocking about it?”

“That it exists. That you really got me to have three more babies in five years. I mean.”

“Well technically we had another set of multiples so it only counts as one pregnancy. You trying to make me sound bad.”

Robyn laughed as she reached back to brush her hand along his cheek, “speaking of multiples, where are our babies?”

“They are sitting in their high chairs, enjoying their lunch.”

“What did we make? I forget.”

“They are eating some mashed potatoes and shredded chicken. That pregnancy brain is still getting to you.”

“They are only 10 months old besides pregnancy brain doesn’t quite go away.”

“I’ll just have to take your word for it. Erin, Erica, and Elijah are outside playing in the treehouse.”

“I’m surprised they let their little brother in there with them.”

“Considering you put them on punishment last time they didn’t, I don’t think they wanna act like they have too much of a choice.”

“That is true.”

“Are you ok, really? I know that last set was a bit challenging.”

“I’m fine. Just admiring my family, that’s all.”

“Well in that case-“

“No. Nope. Nada. Not gonna happen. Don’t even think about it.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“You didn’t have to, VA. I am not having anymore babies. You can forget it.”

“Not even if you’re already pregnant.”

“Why would I be already pregnant? And how would I not know?”

“You didn’t know about Ebony and Emin until you were already 3 months. You sure you wanna play with it?”

“If you got me pregnant again, I’m gonna kill you, bring you back to life then kill you again. One for each possible baby.”

“You are so violent.”

“And you are so damn fertile, Christopher.”

Chris grinned and Robyn playfully elbowed him in his ribs, “I hate you.”

“You love me, Baby.”

“Why would you think I’m pregnant again anyway?”

“You didn’t mark your period for the last two months.”

“Yes, I did. I have an app on my phone.”

“That is synced to my phone and I can see that you did not mark a period.”

“That is not true.”

“Check your phone then.”

Robyn and Chris walked into the kitchen, where Ebony and Emin were still eating their lunch. Robyn kissed each of their chubby cheeks as she walked past them to grab her phone off the charger. She scrolled through her apps and pressed her period tracker. She scrolled through the last two months then turned her phone to Chris, “I did mark my period.”

“Last month. What about this month?”

“It just ended.”

“Exactly.”

Robyn huffed as she moved to the hall closet and dug into the top shelf for a box.

“I’ll be right back,” She hollered back towards the kitchen.

“I’ll be here,” Chris yelled back with a chuckle. He turned towards his son and daughter, “your mommy is about to be so mad with me.”

Ebony and Emin both giggled and stuck their fingers back into their food to keep eating.

  Fifteen minutes passed before Robyn stormed back into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes as she moved to put her phone back on the charger.

“Sooo…what’s the verdict?”

“Inconclusive. Had to move up my doctor’s appointment.”

“Are you upset?”

“Not yet but guess who’s gonna have to buy us a bigger house.”

“I’ll just clear the acreage in the back and expand. No big deal.”

Robyn sucked her teeth, “easy for you to say, you super sper-“

Chris cut her off before kissing her deeply. After a few moments, he pulled back and her eyes fluttered open, “you really need to work on your anger issues.”

“You are getting a vasectomy, pregnant or not.”

“Whaa….wait a minute now.”

“Ain’t no wait a minute. Mother Nature will take care of my fertility. Your sh-,” she glanced over at the younger twins, “your thing never stops working. You are getting a vasectomy. I will not be a damn TLC special, Mr. Brown.”

“But what if I want to have more babies down the line?”

“More babies with who? Not with me. You planning on divorcing me or something?”

“What? No. What if you die-“

“What If I what? Trust me, if there is any justice in the world, you are going first.”

Chris laughed as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, “I know you’re only acting like this because you’re nervous and you’re scared but you have nothing to worry about.

“Chris, I just had two babies.”

“I know. I was there. Through every difficult and beautiful part. I was there when you had to eat through a feeding tube. I was there through your c-section. I was there in the hospital with you and our babies for a whole month. I was there and that’s why you don’t need to worry because pregnant or not, I’m here.”

“Why are you so happy about this?”

“Because nothing makes my life more than watching you swell up with my babies. Than helping you take care of them. Than you allowing me to take care of you.”

“Just when I was about to get my birth control started again.”

Chris kissed her forehead, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one who keeps having sex with you.”

“Because you like me.”

“I like him. Not you.”

Chris frowned and Robyn laughed as he glared at her, “Oh my god, don’t be so sensitive.”

“Sometimes I don’t think you’re joking.”

“When you’re getting on my nerves, I’m not but honestly, I love you. I really do and if there is another baby, hopefully it’s just one, we will adjust and make it work as we have been for the last five years.”

“Can’t believe you don’t want to give me my own set of Jacksons.”

“You ain’t Joe and you definitely ain’t Michael, so you can hang all of that up.”

“Mommy. Daddy.”

They both turned to the Ebony and Emin, who were holding their hands up in the air, their sign for being done with their food.

Chris grabbed Emin as Robyn grabbed Ebony, “we make some cute babies, though.”

“Yea, we do.”

  Joyce and Monica sat on Joyce’s porch with two glasses of tea.

“Does Robyn know you’re back in town?” Joyce asked.

“Nope. I wanted a little time to myself before I get overrun by my grandkids.”

“Aww…those beautiful little rascals.”

“They really are so cute. Erin and Erica have definitely grown into the Chris side of their gene pool.”

“They did. It was like overnight.”

Monica laughed as she took a sip of her drink. Joyce’s phone vibrated and she grabbed it to look at the screen, “speak of the devil, Robyn’s texting me now.”

Joyce slid open the message and laughed hysterically, “Monica, you have to see this.”

Monica took the phone and laughed at the image, “Another one?”

“Another one.

On the screen was a photo of a pregnancy test result with the caption, “I hate your son.”

                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Ok Chris, pick a kid. We need to get them ready for school,” Robyn said as she sat down on the couch. Chris sat down next to her and pointed at Erin to sit on the stack of pillows in front of him. Erica moved to sit in front of Robyn as Elijah moved to sit in front of the TV with Ebony and Emin beside him.

“Ok Erin, Daddy can only do ponytails. Anything else you gonna have to wait on your Mama,” Chris said as he took her hair out of the two French braids it was in.

“That’s fine, Daddy. I just want a bun on the top”

“Cool. That I can do.”

  Robyn sighed as she grabbed a basket of dry clothes to sit on the couch beside her. Just as she grabbed out a shirt, Chris took it out of her hands, “what are you doing?”

“I’m folding laundry. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“You need to go rest. Go lay down.”

“You will not start-“

“Don’t make me spank you. Go lay down. Now.”

Robyn huffed, “fine. Help me up.”

Chris grabbed her hands and gently tugged her up off the couch. He hugged her to him then pecked her lips, “must you make me worry every pregnancy.”

“You deserve it for getting me pregnant in the first place.”

Chris chuckled, “but you’re happy.”

“Of course I’m happy, why wouldn’t I be?”

Chris shrugged.

“Don’t start getting all emotional on me now. You know I’m happy. I was in shock but still happy. Listen, I knew it was a possibility especially so soon after the twins. I’m not stupid, Christopher.”

“I’m not saying you are.”

“So why you being so sensitive? I always pick at you like this, I’m just joking. Am I being mean? Because I’ll stop.”

“No, it’s not mean. I just worry about you, that’s all.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, isn’t that what you’ve been telling me?”

“Yes.”

“So how about you, my gorgeous fertile husband, take your own advice and relax?”

Robyn smiled and tugged on his chin so she should kiss his lips, “I love you and our new baby and all our old babies too.”

Chris laughed, “So since you were just joking, do I still have to-“

“You don’t have to, I would like you to but you don’t have to.”

“Well if I do it, you have to too. Even if Mother Nature will take care of yours.”

“Kind of like our piercing deal, huh?”

“Exactly like that.”

“Then yes, If you will get a vasectomy, I will get my tubes tied.”

Chris held out his pinkie, “you promise?”

Robyn entwined her pinkie with his, “I promise.”

“OK, go get some rest. I’ll finish the laundry and cleaning up the kitchen then I’ll be upstairs.”

“Babe, I can help you.”

“The best thing you can do for me is relax and let me take care of you, ok?”

“Yes Husband.”

“Thank you Wife.”

“And I’m not having sex with you anymore.”

“You say that every pregnancy yet somehow I wake up with you straddling my lap at four months gestation. We’ll see.”

Robyn stuck her tongue out at him, “I don’t like you.”

“But you like him, remember,” Chris playfully thrust his pelvis at her and Robyn threw a decorative pillow at him, “so crude.”

“You like it, Robyn Rihanna Brown.”

“Goodnight Christopher.”

“Goodnight Bajan Girl. I’ll be up there in a minute.”

When Chris made his way upstairs a little while later, Robyn was sitting up on the side of the bed.

“Hey Sweetie, you ok?”

“I’m good.”

“So why are you still up?”

“I didn’t want to lay down without you.”

Chris smiled as he walked over to kiss her, “let me change clothes then we’ll go to bed.”

“Wait, I wanna talk to you.”

“Oh,” Chris replied as he sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, “what’s the matter? Do you need something?”

“How’d you know I was pregnant? It couldn’t have just been the period app.”

“Well, it was little things.”

“Like?”

“Usually by the time you’ve been postpartum a few months, your body tends to shift back to its normal shape but it wasn’t doing that. Your hips were still spread and your stomach was still a bit hard even though it wasn’t distended or anything at first. Also when during the first few weeks of your pregnancy, you tend to favor the right side of your body more like your left side is sore or something. I just- why are you looking at me like that? Are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, I just- I didn’t know you noticed things like that,” Robyn said softly as she wiped her eyes, “God, I hate crying.”

“No Baby, it’s ok. It’s ok. Your hormones are still sensitive, don’t feel like that.”

“I wish it was hormones. How’d you even remember any of that? It’s so small”

“Because it’s you. Robyn, there’s so many things I observe about you and I just soak it all in because I want to know you inside and out. I want to be able to do for you without you having to ask or even say anything. That means something to me.”

“But my hips spreading like-“

“Well, that’s just because I like watching you from behind and when your butt really plumps up, I notice.”

“Pervert,” Robyn said with a giggle and playfully shove of his shoulder.

“Honestly, I notice everything because for me everything about you is important to notice. Like when you get frustrated and your left brow jumps. How your left breast is slightly fuller than your right. How you always tilt your head to the side when you’re listening really hard. How watching our children makes your face light up and you smile so bright. The way you drink your tea with your middle finger bent against the glass. I see it and I love watching it happen.”

“Drink my tea? How in the hell do you even see that? I didn’t even know I do that.”

Chris chuckled, “I’m watching you, Mrs. Brown. I’m always watching. And protecting. And caring. That takes skill and time and focus.”

“Now you making me feel like I’m not doing enough.”

“If you did anymore, I might have to learn how to birth children just to keep up.”

Robyn laughed.

“You’re perfect to me. Your presence in my life has been my saving grace since I was a lanky fourth-grader with an irritating stutter.”

“Aww….I thought your stutter was cute.”

“You were about the only one.”

Robyn brushed her hand against his cheek before grabbing his hand and placing it on her barely rounded belly, “we’re having another baby, Christopher.”

“We are and it’s one of the greatest blessing I could’ve ever asked for.”

“What do you want this time?”

“Another boy. Just to even the household out.”

“I think I’d like that.”

“Me too. So anything else you need?”

“No but one more question.”

“Yes?”

“Could you have imagined this years ago?”

“I dreamed it. I just got lucky it came to life.”

“Me too. Me too.”

“Ok, my very pregnant wife needs her rest so my baby can be all healthy and ready for the world.”

“We got a long time to go.”

“We thought that with the last set and they still came 3 months early.”

“That is very true.”

Chris pulled back the sheets on Robyn’s side of the bed and helped her climb in. He carefully shifted her pillows for more back support before turning off the lights and climbing in the bed next to her, “if you need anything, wake me up, ok?”

“You tell me this knowing that, that is not gonna happen.”

“Five babies in and still stubborn as hell.”

“You love me.”

“I do. Goodnight Bajan Girl.”

“Goodnight VA.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 184

Devin

Greg shakes his head at me. "I'm thinking my nigga sold out. Went and married a white gurl after cleaning up his life."

"What, bruh?" I say chuckling.

"You here cause you got my text and you ready to make real money?" Luke says nodding.

I shake my head. "Last thing I need in money, bruh."

"So it is a white girl?" Greg asks.

"What is wrong with you and white girls? Me and MiMi..."

Luke chokes on his Hennessy a bit. "Shit. MiMi? What the fuck MiMi still doing around? You got money with MiMi ass in the picture?"

"Naw you got it wrong." Greg says. "He wouldn't have shit if MiMi wasn't around. She will rape his ass for all the money he has. Nigga ain't bouts to be happy with no white girl."

I laugh. "Y'all not shit. You know."

Luke chuckles leaning over the table. "What you got in your hand?"

"Something cute." Greg says taking it. "Wedding invitations?"

"The fuck? You marrying little hotty?"

"We married already. Just having a wedding now."

Luke snaps his finger. "Don't open mine motherfucker. Baby ma's wants to open that. When you get married?"

"The first time? Man, it been a minute now. A year?"

"About damn time. I thought you wanted to be an old dog like me." Greg says. He tosses the invite to the side. "We send something back?"

"Bitch, that's your ticket on the jet. You better get that shit and keep it close." I say cutting my eyes at him.

He picks it up off the floor. "Shit."

"A jet? We flying private?" Luke says lighting a blunt.

"I mean unless you wanna provide your own way to the wedding. It's up to you. You still need that invite to attend the wedding."

Greg sighs. "Why you give it to me so early? Here you keep it. Give it to me later."

I take it back from him then stand up. "Some shit never change."

"Where you going?" Luke says sitting up.

"Im supposed to be home resting with the little sick man and his sister."

"Who?" Greg asks.

I laugh. "My kids man."

"Two?"

"When you get a girl? Thats how MiMi fine ass trapped him." Greg laughs.

I chuckle. "We had a baby girl a few months ago."

"What's your answer on this job?" Luke asks.

"Hell naw. I don't need the trouble or the money."

"Damn, I feel disrespected." Luke says. "You turning down food on your table without fucking asking the details. What the fuck you got going on that's putting my little shit to bed? You got enough shit going on in your life? I need to know something. Who shit you moving?"

I frown. This turning into shit too fast. Shit I don't need. Shit I would have never predicted. I was tempted to tell him that I am moving my own shit. That would have made matters worst. Then again at the same time this nigga up here acting like he made me. Either way I don't want his shit in the middle of my shit. I got a few people I deal with for when celebrities ask about drugs. They are his people so ain't shit to say. I glance at Greg to read his expression. His expression read that this was a simple conversation. But as simple as it may seem, it's not simple.

"Bitch you own me?"

"I fed you when you needed to be fed."

I scrunch up my face. "I worked my ass off for what I made. You were only looking out for your fucking self just like me. Don't fucking at like you above me."

"What we doing all this shit for?"

"What I owe you? Name it."

Luke chuckles. "Its like that? You just gonna wipe out whatever amount I specify?"

"I look like a fucking bank?"

"Nigga, smoke a blunt and shut the hell up. You don't owe me shit."

"Including a fucking explanation of how the fuck I'm living my life. But since you want to know so damn bad... I'm currently living with my wife fucking best friend and her damn family."

Greg laughs. "Oh yeah. The one who married Trey Songz."

"The fuck?" Luke says. "You living with them? They feeding your family?"

"Gotta make it in life." I say shrugging walking towards the door.

Luke turns in his seat. "Bitch, I highly doubt that shit."

"Come to the wedding." I shrug. "You'll see."

"Baby Ma's really gonna be hyped about this shit. I might get head up until the damn wedding."

I know I ain't shit for that but I want this nigga to understsnd thst his way ain't the only way. I ain't gojng down the list of shit that Trey has setup for me. Not to this nigga when he in his feelings about me needing him. No nitch I don't need you. I got richer friends in higher places that not looking over their shoulders for the cops to knock their shit down. I want him to feel like he is disposable. Replaced by someone he only wishes to live like. I win. Even though I made myself seem like a fucking loser.

"Wife." I say answering MiMi's video.

"I need you to get the... Where the fuck you at?"

I didn't think about that. I chuckle. "In my car, bae."

"Don't fuck with me you bitch ass motherfucker."

"Mookie, we talked about your language towards me."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine. Don't lie to me you fucking black ass nigga."

I laugh. "Oh that's cute."

"You in the fucking hood?"

"Bae, I'm..."

She pauses the video or something. "Did your dumbass forget where we live?"

"Bae, stop." I say looking out the window. "How can you tell where I'm at?"

"Devin, don't play with me."

I look at the road. "I went by to give Luke and Greg the shit. I told you about that."

"Those wedding invites better be the only thing you gave them."

"Oh naw. I gave them some dick too."

She twists up her face. She was looking at somebody.

"What the fuck he say?" It was Rollie.

I start laughing. "Naw, man."

Rollie was in the view of the camera. "Fuck naw."

"I was being funny." I laugh. "She was going on like I was cheating."

"Fuck that."

"I mean damn Rollie. Here I am thinking he selling drugs or fucking other bitches. Now I fucking got to worry about him fucking the fucking homies. How I supposed to compete with strong jaws."

I laugh hysterically. "Bae, stop."

"Shut the hell up, man." Rollie laughs.

"Shit, Rollie." MiMi says then starts laughing. "Oh my baby in here now. Let me act like somebody. Hey, Coosa."

"You called her Cooda? Like Cooda cat?"

She flips me off. "Go fuck somebody with your dumbass."

"Damn, what happen to acting like somebody?"

"Rollie took the baby. Bye."

I love the fuck out of my Mookie. I chuckle to myself. She hung up the phone on me.

  Trey

"Brown." I say dapping him up. "Damn, you took long enough."

"Aye, I was outside waiting on you for 40 minutes."

I laugh. "Bitch, you were not."

"Straight fucking up." he says. "I gotta pee."

"Damn, nigga. I'll be outside."

"Imma take 40 minutes to pee." Chris says walking away.

I leave out. He know his ass lying about sitting out here for 40 minutes. Chris not waiting on anybody that long. He is headed out of the building by the time we get to the car.

"Fucking Jackie was with me earlier." I say.

"What happened to him?" Chris says opening a box of food.

I open it up more looking inside. "Nigga, all that fatty food gonna catch up with your ass. I don't know where he went. I'm guessing back to Kevin's where the bitches and liquor at. I been in my feelings for the last hour. I'm sure he got bored. Listening to me bitch about my shit."

"I'll listen to you bitch all day." Chris says mouth full of food. "I had Royalty earlier today. You missed her."

"I saw her. Joyce had her."

Chris nods. "What you bitching about?"

"I'm always bitching when I'm away from home. I have fucking trust issues like a bitch. If Cammie not near me she out fucking somebody."

Chris laughs. "That's a fucking lie. I know you know its a lie. But it coming from somewhere. Why would you think it?"

"She too perfect. Niggas like me... Like you. We don't get perfect."

"Shit. I know. I feel you." he says stuffing his mouth. "This the reason you never post shit about your wife?"

I nod. "I go posting this perfect woman being the perfect wife I need. Expressing my love for her. Telling the whole world how I found the love of my life. Dedicating every love song I hear to her existence. Proving my faithfulness. Then some nigga hits me up telling me how he fucking my wife. How he done sampled a piece of my perfect life."

Chris cuts his eyes at me. "You think about this a lot."

"Every fucking time I'm away from my wife."

"Shit." he says putting his food down. "I'm not a nigga for advise cause my ass even more insecure. Amber makes sure I call it insecure not trust issues."

I laugh. "Fucking Amber."

Chris nods. "She my golden star. My good luck charm... Anyway, Cammie a fucking goddess man. She perfect just like you think. Like she has proven to be loyal when she hates you. If anything call that Southern Belle out on her shit. Your grandma ain't raised you that way. She values her pussy, no offense. She not gonna just give it to some other nigga. I still don't see how your ass got her. You fit her standards in some alternate world. She yours in this life and the next. Niggas already see your girl."

"Wha?"

"Yeah. Niggas was talking about her just today. On some disrespectful shit but none of those bitches could even fix their lips to lie about hitting. They know that lie gonna have to be backed up with some real shit."

"Talking about my wife how?"

He chuckles. "I wasn't in the whole conversation but from what I heard talking about how they worked their asses off to get nothing."

"Worked their asses off?"

"Trey, repeat one more damn thing I say." Chris says taking out his phone. "Cammie always where you think she is. Stop flexing nigga."

I take out my phone and stare at the home screen. "Yeah, I know."

Chris takes my phone. "Let's call her. She either lying in the bed with MiMi or somewhere in the house fussing at Lane. She back from dancing?"

"Yeah."

"Hey... What?" Lane says. "Chris? No."

Chris laughs. "Where your mama?"

"I not say it."

"Lane, Imma knock your head across the room." Chris says shaking the phone.

Lane laughs. "You hit my car with you car?"

Chris laughs. "I don't go around hitting people little boy. You fake as shit."

"You see Caden?"

"Lane get that off of his head! What are you doing?" Cammie snaps. "Give me my phone!"

"Mommy, no be like that." Lane says. "In a minute."

"Boy!"

Lane starts crying. "You be mean like that to me? No."

Cammie looks at the phone. "Christopholucus, why do you have my husband's phone?"

"Why you being mean to my little nigga?"

"His fake ass is not worried about you." Cammie says turning the phone.

Lane was in the middle of the floor with JJ and a toy airplane. You wouldn't think that he was just crying about a phone.

"Tremaine, I hear you breathing. Did your ass get some medicine?"

"Umm?" I say leaning away from the phone.

Cammie sucks her teeth. "Caden talk to your daddy and his friend. I don't got time."

I look at the screen. This woman had put the phone near Caden. He turns his head looking at the phone. He turns back away from it licking his tongue out. Chris hands me the phone. I sit there watching Caden. He turns his head back to the phone. This time he stares at it.

"You happy cause you see your daddy face?" Cammie says. "Tremaine, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

She bites Caden's neck making him laugh. He turns his head towards her. She bites at his face making him laugh some more. I smile at them. Once again I get to witness Cammie and her great parenting skills. She is a great mother. I hope she never goes through what we went through in the past. From Caden to before Lane. I want to make our lives just as perfect as the idea of us.

"Talk to you later, Daddy." Cammie says hanging up.

"Enjoy the moment as best as you can." I say looking at Chris. "That's what I end up telling myself. But it only comes to me at the end of the week when I realize how dumb I've been acting."

Chris smiles. "Man, your shit all good. Work on keeping the same energy when it comes time to leave. Amber and me are shooting to be better than yall."

"You do that." I nod.

"I want to get married this summer. What you think?"

I shake my head. "You better off trying next year. "MiMi and Dee getting married this year."

"And?"

"You can't show up their wedding. You gotta give them at least 3 months to enjoy the high from their own wedding without attending yours."

Chris shrugs. "I guess I like them like that."

"You do."

"When you figure out this whole insecure shit, let me know so I can fix my shit."

"Amber just might be your Cammie if you keep your dick to yourself."

"5 months clean." he says nodding.

I start counting the months backwards. "And yall been together for how long?"

He waves his hand. "Focus on your shit."

"Bitch."

[parallel5ths]

Buffy paper!

I had to write a paper for my English class and wrote this in about 12 hours. It's definitely a little haywire, but a good starting point for expanding on the universe. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has become a cult classic since it’s premier in 1997. After it’s unsuccessful predecessor by the same moniker, no one would have imagined it would explode to the icon it is today. Buffy Summers, introduced as a high school sophomore, has a destiny and that is to be the Vampire Slayer. Each generation, there is only one Slayer who is chosen in her teenage years. Buffy’s path from high schooler to adult is an obvious one in age, but less obvious in other ways. This series is widely appreciated for its exemplars on serious issues such as depression, addiction, and death. Through these outlined examples, the mystical are used to illustrate the complex problems faced by ordinary people throughout their lives creating a series that is entertaining, serious, and relatable.

Buffy seamlessly interweaved the real world with the mystical to find a unique way to tell a story. This gave it a unique following due to the numerous subjects it tackled. “Buffy used the monsters that crossed into the human world through the Hellmouth as a metaphor for the horrors of high school, which in turn were a metaphor for the horrors of life in general” (Genzlinger 2017). Season Five is a great example of this. This season finds a way to weave interpersonal family dynamics with an otherwise outrageous storyline. While Buffy navigates a romantic relationship as well as being a big sister to a whiny teenager, she also must find balance in her role as the Slayer. One moment of distraction is all that is needed for someone to get the upper hand, a point which she is very familiar with after her brief death in the first season. As if all of that wasn’t enough, her mother then falls ill. Buffy had been surrounded by the reality of death for years now, but there is something vulnerable about it being your mother.

In a show usually filled with comedy to offset the seriousness, the episodes about Joyce Summers had a very different feel to them. The music is either very quiet or completely absent, only making the backdrop starker. In the hospital scene where it is revealed Joyce has a brain tumor, we are met with a close-up of Buffy’s face as the color drains and the sound falls away. Dr. Michael Bryant, who uses this scene in his medical classes comments “Patients’ minds often fixate onto the most serious condition possible, once told they have a brain tumour. Any other words become white noise and static, and float past on empty currents of dead air.” This portrayal of that heartbeat in your head feeling when confronted with news you cannot comprehend is relatable.

Episodes pass, and we are lulled into a false sense of security. Up to this point, we have lost characters but none this close to the main group. As I Was Made to Love You ends, you see Buffy arrive home, putting her jacket down and calling for her mom as the audience sees a blurry background behind. She turns, pulling this into focus as we see Joyce laying lifeless on the couch. Buffy calls her again, hoping for her to wake but the reality starts setting in. Her voice softening, she says “Mommy?”, a departure from the “mom” directly before as the screen cuts to black. Amidst the monsters and boogeymen of Sunnydale, they found the monsters we really face every day.

Throughout the season, Buffy is seen becoming unsure of her roles as parent, sister, and Slayer as they start to conflict. The episode Intervention begins to show Buffy’s depression and detachment forming. Buffy goes on a vision quest to find answers about her role while the Buffybot fools the rest of the Scooby Gang into thinking she’s the real deal. This is the first stark difference between the Buffy from season one and who she has become now. “The relentlessly cheery Buffybot functions as an idealized version of the Slayer, restoring something of the human Buffy’s youthful chirpiness and being used as an emotional substitute by Dawn who actually lies down on the bed next to her as if she were the real thing” (James 147). With a few exceptions, the Buffybot is able to take Buffy’s place in all roles of her life while also being more likable to her friends and family.  Buffy’s resurrection at the beginning of the penultimate season is the final nail in the coffin before Buffy’s depression is shown in the foreground.

At the end of After Life, the audience gets the moment they have been waiting for. Buffy has her heart-to-heart with Dawn, thanks her friends for saving her from a hell dimension and there’s a group hug. She walks out the back door into the sun which is almost too bright, a reference to Buffy’s time in the afterlife. The speech that follows is one any Buffy fan will remember vividly. After Buffy’s sacrifice to save her family and the world, she was rewarded with Heaven. She was finally happy, loved and at peace. She was ripped away from perfection by the people in her life who love her most and they can never know. Knowing what she lost was already weighing on her as she mentions how everything on Earth is “hard and bright and violent” (“After Life” (41:42-41:47). As the tragic hero figure she is, the episode ends with her emphasizing that no one can know what she has shared.

Through the next few episodes, we see Buffy once again struggle with where she fits in. Buffy’s “rebirth” symbolizes her official birth in adulthood in many ways. The rest of the Scooby Gang has established their lives while she was gone. Everyone is in committed relationships, they have jobs or are in school and she is just the Slayer. Her new “enemies” in this season even comment that she is unfocused while jumping job to job. She is stuck in two roles she didn’t choose, despite the name “Chosen One”. It’s at this point she starts spending more time with Spike, the only one who seems to see her pain and understand how she feels. He understands more about the supernatural side of her that no one else can relate to. In Once More with Feeling, the musical episode, there is no disguising Buffy’s pain. Through the various songs she features in, she describes going through the motions and being unable to feel anything. Buffy’s secret is laid bare to the rest of the gang, forced to reveal she was in Heaven. Finally, she tells Sweets, the demon orchestrating these catchy numbers, to “give me something to sing about. Please, give me something” (43:48-44:00). Her depression has progressed to the point where she doesn’t feel like she has anything left. She immediately starts dancing, eventually spinning in circles progressively faster until she appears to start burning. An assisted suicide attempt in front of everyone she loves. Yet, Spike is the one who jumps in to save her, from the fires of Hell it seems, by telling her she has to keep on living. The episode ends on Buffy “getting the fire back” and kissing Spike, the beginning to a complex relationship between Buffy’s human and supernatural side.

Although the rest of the season primarily focuses on Willow and her addiction to magic, Buffy is still fighting her battles throughout. She takes a minimum wage food service job to make money since she is now the sole provider and has no qualifications she could put on a resume. Dawn starts acting out by stealing and sneaking out with boys, a cry for help and attention. Buffy is drowning too deep in all her own roles conflicting while also battling the lack of desire to do so to notice what is happening. In rapid fire, Buffy finds out about Dawn stealing, her ex-boyfriend shows up with a wife and Xander abandons Anya at the altar. Everything is completely in flux, but it is always her responsibility to hold everyone and everything together.

With Buffy as her most confused and detached, her best friend needs her the absolute most. Once again, things start getting back to normal when Tara is suddenly shot and killed. With Buffy also in critical condition, Willow no longer has the desire or ability to hold back her rage. From the beginning of the show, Buffy has many moments of powerlessness, but this time is different. Willow is stronger, faster and has nothing left to live for. This is also the ultimate betrayal to Buffy. Willow was her first friend when she came to Sunnydale and has been there through everything. Not only has Willow killed a human but has tried to kill Buffy’s sister and father figure. In Willow’s effort to kill her pain by giving further into her magic addiction by literally absorbing it from Giles, she can feel everyone’s emotions at once. A throwback to the third season when Buffy hears everyone’s thoughts after she’s infected by demon blood, we see how differently they deal with their depression.

As the season starts to come to an end, Buffy and Willow’s storylines diverge. Having handled their problems differently, it makes sense their paths parted, and they end them separately. Buffy and Dawn become trapped together in the Earth by Willow’s hand, in a similar way that she was forced to dig her way out earlier. The Summers sisters are forced to finally face each other and talk. Buffy comes to terms with the fact that Dawn is also becoming an adult like she did and shielding her isn’t the same as protecting her. Willow’s solution to the pain in the world, hers included, is to end the world. A departure from previous seasons, Willow cannot be defeated by magic or strength. Xander, the final piece of the trio and Willow’s friend from childhood, talks to her and reminds her of who she is. As Dawn and Buffy fight a parade of demons off side by side, Xander refuses to leave Willow’s side. Despite the threat of death and being pushed away, he continues to tell her he loves her after each lashing. Her power fades as she starts to feel again, crumbling to tears as the weight of all the pain and loss hits her. “When Willow took the power from Giles, she exulted in feeling ‘connected to everything’. But that connection was false, and it led Willow to try to end the world. Buffy found the true connection in her inner humanity” (Field 540). When the scene switches to Buffy, she breaks down in happy tears, happy she has time to fix everything she has neglected. Standing with her as they were both faced with death opened her eyes to how much she had been ignoring.

Although many viewers were understandably upset with the finale, it was important to the overall arc of Buffy Summers’ growth. As opposed to their usual triumphant ending where they beat the bad guy, their denial, pain, and grief were killing them instead. At some point, these feelings needed to explode in order to resolve. From these examples, we see two women who have gone down the same path but react differently to it. Having flawed characters who fight their demons, physically and metaphorically, in an unperfect way is important for young people and older alike. Showing vulnerability in a female character while also keeping her strong is a tough feat few writers have achieved. Buffy the Vampire Slayer does it time and time again. It is no surprise to the fanbase that there is a new show coming out. Into every generation, a Slayer is born, and this generation needs one to look up to too.