#so fast and i joked about 'gay speed' being a thing lol

[icantalk710]

...I didn't sleep enough for this complimentary personal trainer sesh at the gym to kick my ass some 🥲 (and maaay be investing in more now that I can lol)

[creative-robot]

This is my request for more work stories!

Oh absolutely! 

For a little clarification, I’m a Host in the Restaurant part but the big main part of the building is the attached bakery/retail area up front so theres like, 5 different kitchens alone, I’ll refer to them by how I know them which is the Mixing kitchen, the Restaurant kitchen, and the other three that do baking stuff as the Baking Kitchens

This is in no special order at all just the order I remembered them

As a Host you would think I’d be on par with the servers but the truth is If the Manager isn't right there I'm pretty much in charge of the restaurant and do my best with what I have, which means I have to move. fast.

I just learned earlier this week that the entire packaging department can't remember my name so they just call me ‘The Speed Demon’ and honestly how dope is that I get complimented/shocked reactions to my speed every shift I don't know man I'm just gay and have shit to do

We once had a really confused drunk dude come in on Saint Patricks Day who seemed completely baffled by the idea of a restaurant so since it was hella dead and I was bored as all hell I entertained his drunk questions for like 45 minutes explaining how a restaurant works and what we make till he said bye and wandered out looking mildly bewildered still

We also had a drunk dude come in on a random dead Saturday (which was weird and I think it was while the GOT finale was airing, we have no TVs so I was. dying. from boredom), this was not a fun drunk and we had to call the cops on him for being creepy and after he was kicked out he walked around the parking lot and kept jumping to himself before circling the building a few times and leaving once the cop showed up. Cleaning the bathroom was disgusting after he left lemme tell ya

The dish manager and the kitchen manager are ALWAYS at odds with each other no matter who the dish manager is that month (Staff rotates real quick back there) and there's always shittalk being thrown across the hallway between them and occasionally a bottle, I once scolded both of them to stop acting like children cause a bottle smashed and it was loud and close enough to make my hearing go out for like three minutes and when they both just brushed me off I went straight to the owner and now it's pretty rare for glass, at least, to get thrown

Theres a stairway that leads to the upstairs offices and everyone just knows that they're either cursed or haunted, we don't talk about it but only the managers go up there and I've only been up them once and it was incredibly gut-churning so I haven't ever tried again

Life tip: Always be nice to your HR folks, they can help you

One of the baking kitchens kept stealing everyone else brooms and one day a server had just had ENOUGH and stormed back there to tell them what for. I didn't get to see what happened but I'm told the poor dudes back there were pale by the time she was done and now we have a cool new broom and dustpan that's labeled for the Restaurant and no more broom thefts for a while

Kids just like my aura or something cause everytime there's a kid in the restaurant they flag me down to chat a little and sometimes kids walk past an entire bakery of employees to ask me for help instead of them, I always pause to help them before adults or give them a little time to chat even when we’re busy and all the servers goodnaturedly tease me about it

What happens in the break room stays in the break room and anything said after someones clocked out won't be repeated, it's hilarious to watch the bakers calmly walk in, clock out, scan for someone in management, and then explode with frustration to whoever's in there. please be nice to cake bakers and decorators specifically they have to put up with SO MUCH SHIT BEHIND THE SCENES

Sometimes there’ll be free stuff in the Break Room ala extras, unsolds, or fucked up treats that are fine but they don't look sellable. This is rare for the front of house restaurant staff to get their hands on since we don't get lunch or proper breaks so retail always relays when there's goodies and we’re all enemies for a good five minutes as we grab stuff and shove it in our lockers before returning to normal but everyone goes feral for the breakfast sandwiches 

I’m unofficially Head Host so I know most of the regulars and they know not to pull shit on me and several of them take enjoyment watching me deflect non-regulars bs and often butt in when they won't give up to tell them to shove it since I just won't break or give in

The retail folks regularly use their lunch breaks to go scream in the big freezers and this is just expected and accepted

The Bakers also regularly go scream in the oven rooms, this is also just A Thing no one questions  

Theres only a little waiting room area between me and the bar so yes, I have been hit with wine corks before when they go flying and the newest bartender is already at three hits but honestly, I don't really care so whenever it happens I just say a random number of points and toss the cork in my trash

Someday I hope to catch it all cool and suave and that's prolly not gonna happen anytime soon but god I want to SO BAD

I once had a woman walk in with an entire soccer team and I had to be like ‘Lady we don't even have enough tables for all of you normally much less right at noon are you nuts’ and she refused to believe me or sit outside so when I quoted her an hour and a half she was PISSED and asked for my manager (who had been hiding behind the bar cause good lord do we get Karens a lot) who came over and explained that there was no way we could seat them and to have a good day and she went RED and stormed out with the team trailing behind her looking embarrassed. She attempted this three more times that week I'm not even joking 

White haired old ladies are constantly amazed and curious about us young’uns styles and while the servers get most of the enthusiastic questions about their gauges and tattoos and hairstyles I have had a few ask me what was even happening with my hair bc they loved it but ‘it's so different!’ (I have an all around undercut with only hair on top that goes down to my chin so I braid it up for work, it's baffling I guess lol) they genuinely love hearing about it and I’ve given a few of them tips for their kid's hair and style names, I just love it and had to mention it

Some of this is just me rambling lol but yeah my work is wack

[transrightsjimin]

I'm asking as a confused trans and gay person regarding some of your recent posts saying aphobia doesn't exist, etc. Do you consider asexual people to be inherently LGBT even if they are cisgender and straight (heteroromantic)? I don't want to discriminate at all, I'm just confused because I see people fighting on here all the time about whether aces are part of the LGBT community or not. Do you have some insight for me as an ace nonbinary person? Thanks in advance!

no it’s fine lol dw!

i’m not sure how to explain this w/o being too extensive in what i say bc i’ve talked about this before but more in private conversations (and maybe some rants in tumblr posts) nd i tend to ramble abt it.

first of all i do not actually like the common conception that there is one way to define LGBT or the idea that everyone should fall within that category term or not, for example because the English language is colonial and rigid and does not reflect on experiences of all cultures, bc being gay or trans are not distinctly different experiences everywhere while they would be divided into different categories. so whereas i was more insistent on saying ‘you must be gay / bi / lesbian / trans to be LGBT / suffer from homophobia or transphobia’ i’ve come to realize now that this argument is rather exclusive of many gender diverse identities that do not correspond to all experiences or cultures. so i will stay away from using that argument.

however, i am speaking from my experience with online LGBT and asexual communities and have seen how the latter has tried to force itself into the other. i think a large issue with the asexual and aromantic communities is that they are partially based upon the creation of AVEN, an online forum founded by a homophobic and antisemitic man, and partially (though related to the former) by just blatantly made up statistics and history. not once have i seen a good argument or research or even personal accounts that illustrate very well why aphobia is a thing. i am asexual myself but do not want to take the lack of discrimination i faced for it as proof. there have been accounts of ‘aphobic’ discrimination that are either 1. much more a general concern with the OP facing misogyny and girls being sexualized, 2. someone making a remark based on a misconception of OP’s experiences or 3. misappropriation of terms and applying them to asexuality, e.g. ‘corrective rape’ was coined to refer to (African) lesbians who were assaulted under the presumption that it would turn them straight. asexuals have appropriated this term years ago to claim asexual people face rape on a large scale because perpetrators try to force them into liking sex. some people don’t even know the original meaning of the term because of this. i’m also not a big fan of this new interpretation of the term anyway, because legit sexual attraction is not the main reasons people commit rape; it is to seek power. this kind of mindset of asexual people being inherently vulnerable to sexual violence due to lack of feeling sexual attraction is seriously harmful; in the crime show Law and Order SVU, a suspect was let off because some main character said the suspect was asexual and this couldn’t have done it. people can be and sometimes are raped by an asexual person, because it is about taking advantage of someone and not attraction. the sole fact that so many authors of overly fetishistic fanfiction are asexual should prove this much, but instead the lack of attraction is used to distance oneself from the harm one can still cause.

and yes, asexual people can face discrimination, especially if you’re a girl you’re expected to be sexually submissive, which is pretty horrifying on its own. but this is not the same as targeted discrimination on a mass scale or institutional whatsoever. we are not thaught as we grow old that asexuals are disgusting, are a joke, or need to be violently murdered. my biggest issue with the asexual and aromantic community that we (as i have removed myself from it years ago) keep telling it that anecdontal accounts of being mildly discriminated is nowhere near the same as risking being kicked out of your house, being violently attacked due to the way you appear or having a partner of the same gender, being systematically discriminated by all sorts of institutions in society and being thaught that what you are is bad from an early age on. and then the counterargument is that LGBT is more recognized but asexual and aromantic isn’t, so ‘ace / aro’ people deserve to be included because they are underrepresented in media. but that is not the case at all. the speed at which asexuality has suddenly been incorporated and included into LGBT spaces, also offline, has been ridiculously fast. nowadays when you see a bunch of LGBT flags you see the asexual one being included a lot, sometimes in 3 different versions, while the lesbian flag is nowhere to be seen. lesbians are consistently excluded from their supposedly own community and they are not included in LGBT due to a need to change underrepresentation or lack of awareness, but because they face their own version of homophobia. the most mind-boggling thing about cis / cishet asexual and aromantic people being told that they are not oppressed, is that the response is not relief (’oh i’m glad i don’t face systematic oppression for this thing’) but anger (’how dare you not let us into your group!’). LGBT is seen as a fun party that is unnecessarily mean to anyone it gatekeeps, as if it is not actually necessary to keep out cishet people who benefit from their privilege and can use that against the rest in the group if they join.

my largest issue with the asexual community however, and i’ve touched upon this a bit before in the post, is that it victimizes itself, to such a degree where it puts itself oppositional to ‘allosexuals’. the whole idea that people who experience sexual attraction to another person are inherently privileged over abd hold power over asexual people is just not true (and the same goes for this rethoric for aromantic people). this idea is so wrong and the whole concept of the ‘allosexual’ as oppressor collapses once you consider that people who are attracted to the same gender are actually in danger and oppressed for their very attraction. not only are those who experience attraction (that isnt platonic) to other people portrayed as oppressors, but also as perverted freaks. once i decided to stop associating myself with acearo people and instead interact with LGBT people with other experiences, i realized just how much stigmatizing abd frankly, homophobic and transphobic bullshit i’ve adopted within the spaces i used to be in and that i still see gather a lot of traction (now their harmful points are also used on twitter and IRL in the public domain). the community has a huge issue where it teaches you to be puzzled and grossed out by people who want to date / kiss / have sex with other people, and this results in GSAs that now include asexuals to prohibit kissing your partner per request of asexual / aromantic members, asexual people showing up at pride with ‘can we just hug?’ signs, the common serophobic jokes (’at least we dont get hiv!!’ blergh), and for me it led to a great discomfort with kissing and sex imagery and it wasn’t until i left the community that this was in fact subtle homophobia because so much content on here is lgbt themed and to combine that with the increasing aversion to romance or sex without critically looking at that is... very toxic to say the least.

so where it’s standing right now, i don’t think including asexual or aromatic people in LGBT spaces on the basis of those identities is a good idea. one community advocates for the acceptance of sex, whereas the other is stigmatizing it and painting off those who are in fact oppressed for their transness or homosexuality, as the oppressors. it clashes and it doesn’t work. the ‘ace / aro’ community (quote unquote bc i see ‘ace’ being used a lot to imply superiority over ‘allosexuals’ like, theyre being the ace at something) has too many issues, which it is largely based on, to figure out. it can be a community on its own and i do not think you need to join LGBT to have a valid identity that has something to do with sexuality or gender and deals with a form of stigma.

it woukd be a rant, i warned you lol

[bigskydreaming]

I like the names of your X-Men OCs lol. But I don't get Imago. I googled but all I found was the final form of an insect, typically winged. Is that right? Or is there another definition?

LOL no, that’s right. Its kinda a weird codename I know, but it worked for the character and I always kinda liked it. So the thing is, I really like butterflies? Random, but there it is, I’ve just always thought they were cool, and pretty, and 80s Psylocke when she was wearing her purple and pink body armor, like...back then they really emphasized the butterfly look of her psychic power signature, and I always really thought that looked cool. But they stopped using it as much after they did the body switch thing and made her more focused on using her psychic blade. So all of that was kinda the inception of that codename.

So in her original version, the one that started out as an X-Men OC, Imago’s real name was Alexis Munroe and she was the adopted daughter of Storm. She was a black girl with glasses and like, a total science nerd and proud of it. I always liked the idea of contrasting her with Ororo in that the latter is always associated with nature and primal elements and Alexis as I initially pictured her was all about getting excited for a chemistry set for Christmas and like, locking herself away in her room and working on her latest scientific discovery, lol. Which seems like total opposites, but in my head the way it worked was it was like....they were both focused on being fundamentally linked in to the world around them, just perceiving it in different ways...because the idea that science and the kind of Earth Mother associations that have always been paired with Ororo, like, the idea that those kinds of things aren’t as opposite or dissimilar as they’re made out to be has always been a big theme in my own stuff.

Anyway, so Alexis’ power was something she called her butterfly effect. Basically, it could magnify the end result of anything she did to like...its most extreme degree. So when she used her butterfly effect (which always showed up in my bad comic drawings as like, a flared pair of blue and green butterfly wings made of energy manifesting in the air behind her)....basically the idea was anytime she activated her butterfly effect...she didn’t become superstrong, like she couldn’t pick up anything heavier than usual...but a punch could send someone flying or break through solid steel, because it was the effect of the punch specifically that was amplified. Her power protected her from any blowback from the effect, like...the energy field that made up her butterfly wings kept her fist from breaking when she punched steel...and it was her amplification effect that broke the steel.

*Shrugs* I’m a big fan of versatile powers, that can be used in a ton of different ways while all stemming from the same root thing. So again, she could punch through steel, or a foot stomp could make earth tremors. She could do the Superman ‘gust of wind’ thing with her breath or rub her hands quickly against something and amplify the effect of the friction to start a fire. She could even amplify the effect of her own natural charisma to like, not do any kind of full on mind control thing, but more like the Jedi ‘these are not the droids you’re looking for’ stuff. The only real rule was that like....the action being amplified had to originate specifically from her. And then she used her science whiz know-how to figure out all kinds of cool ways to use this.

So yeah, she called herself Imago as in the final winged stage of a butterfly, because she’s a huge nerd and liked butterflies and by that I mean I’m a huge nerd and like butterflies and I made her.

(Of the others, Joy Ride was a white gay guy who was an ex-con and like, gym rat kinda guy, and his power was he physically merged himself with someone or something to possess them - like he’d go intangible and then vanish inside them - but he only used his powers on inanimate stuff because it creeped him out to possess people...so he usually would be like the ghost in the machine and possess cars and stuff and was the butt of a lot of Transformers jokes. His real name has changed like...twelve times so I forget what he originally was. 

Rumor was an Iranian girl named Pardis Mahdavi who was super gossip-y and a shopaholic and her power was telepathy and astral projection...and I sucked at drawing it right, but I always pictured her power working as like....she projected lots of versions of herself floating around people and whispering in their ears....like her go-to move was projecting telepathic thoughts in peoples’ minds without them realizing that it was coming from her. 

Deliverance was another black girl named Mallorie whose power was a kind of super strength and invulnerability that activated in response to danger to either herself or people near her. Like Spiderman’s Spidey-sense, only instead of sensing danger coming it was more like, once there was actual danger around or she ran into a situation where other people were in danger, she would automatically get super strong, faster and invulnerable...until the danger passed. Which usually was like...when she won the fight. Tbh, I forget just how the specifics of this one worked in my head, because I adapted her years ago to fit into my Ellis Eighteen universe instead, and there she’s a teleporter whose power is she can teleport anyone in her line of sight to anywhere she can picture, her power just doesn’t work on herself.

Horoscope was a white guy named Andrew who was a precog, but his power was kinda tricky. Basically, he pictured a goal, and then just let himself go on autopilot and let his power guide him to some ultimate destination....and wherever he ended up like....there was something about there that would let him do what he was trying to do, or it was the best place for whatever he wanted to happen to happen....but it wasn’t like he got instructions or a walk-through so it wasn’t always clear WHY his power had led him to this place or result or conclusion.

Crossfire was a black guy named Bernard, whose power was teleportation but with a specific slant....he was a switch teleport, meaning he could change any two people or objects place in physical space, but like...there had to be some switch going on, he couldn’t just teleport himself to the other end of the room...unless there was someone already there. But this let him do stuff like switch places with the person shooting some kind of weapon or energy attack at him so they ended up hit by their own attack, or I wrote one fanfic style scene in my spiral notebook (lol) where they were fighting the Juggernaut and Bernard basically just jumped off a roof and turned around in mid-air to look at the Juggernaut as he was falling...and then switched places so he was back on the roof and it was the Juggernaut falling several stories.

Desperado was Diego Zavala, and his power was to manipulate momentum. He wasn’t a speedster or anything, he just tweaked kinetic energy in his area to make things faster or slower.....so he could make things shot at him or his team just lose all their momentum at once and so just fall to the ground, or he could pick up a rock and throw it and then boost its momentum so it hit like a grenade. Or he could slow down vehicles or even people or make like a temporary speedster effect for himself or his friends, speed them up a little.....but he had to be careful of this because their bodies weren’t adapted to go super fast and I was a big Flash nerd as a kid too so I was very conscious of that potential downside of superspeed and worked it into everything lmfao.

And then lastly Hoax was another white guy named Zack, and he was absolutely NOT based on Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell, a show of my youth, except okay fine he totally was. But basically Hoax was a con artist but also kinda not? Like before he joined the team he was a faith healer....but the thing was, he wasn’t actually cheating people out of their money, he really could heal them, because the way his power worked was he could do anything he could convince people he could do. Like...as long as he could make someone believe he could do what he was claiming...he could actually make it happen. So he had to come up with all these little tricks and mind games and sleight of hand to like...fake ‘little miracles’ to get people believe he had some kind of powers and could back of his claims...and then he slowly built that over time into getting people to believe he could pull off bigger and bigger things until he actually could heal people because he had enough people believing he could. So he’s basically only as powerful as his reputation convinces people he is...but he was really good at working a crowd and running a con and convincing people he could pull off various feats.

[blue-likethebird]

Vee El Dee: The Good The Bad and The Ugly

If you’ve ever been on this hellsite, you’ve probably heard of Voltron: Legendary Defender. You’ll find the characters and the ships (and the discourse. Dear God the discourse) in tag after tag and on blog after blog. Now that the show has officially come to an end, I’m reviewing the whole damn thing. Talking about what I think worked, what didn’t, and what exactly the show did to make even the fans look at it so harshly now. (Just a warning “The Ugly” section discusses racism, and homophobia so if any of that triggers you I’d suggest you skip it)

Review under the cut

The Good

The Character Potential:

   Voltron’s characters had so much potential at the beginning. Their motivations, potential subplots, and clues to their arcs the first crew left us were actually interesting. How did Coran know Allura before they were frozen? What happened that caused Shiro to lose his arm? Is Lance going to reunite with his family? The show didn’t answer all of these questions mind you, but at the time they were introduced, those questions felt like they were worth sticking around to hear the answers.

The First Season:

   The first season is the only season that genuinely sticks out for me, way back in ye olden days when Voltron was a character driven show as opposed to plot focused. In season one, the plot took a backseat and the characters were what held up the show, and it’s probably not a coincidence that most of the character development and more emotional/memorable scenes occurred in season one, when there was time for the characters to develop. Likewise, the character focus allowed for everyone to get their day in the limelight -not just the characters who were valuable to the plot at the moment-.

The Balmera and The Return to The Balmera:

     I am never gonna be shy about my opinion that the Balmera arc is one of the strongest arcs that Voltron has had. Allura using the story of her people to inspire others and using Altea’s ancient connection to the Balmera to save an entire damn civilization! The goddamn adorable chemistry between Hunk and Shay! Believable suspense! Unlocking Lion Powers! The Balmera arc had it all and I was fed. Plus, Balmera gave us the introduction of the most blessed couple in Voltron history, hunay.

The Bad:

The Timeskips:

In theory, there’s nothing wrong with a timeskip. But you’ve gotta be able to show that the characters and show’s universe changed in some way during that timeskip and you can’t use them just to avoid actual story and character development. Take season six (? Or was it five? I don’t remember and I don’t wanna) when Keith and Krolia take a two year camping trip on a space whale while Voltron is off doing God knows what. Presumably during that time they developed some sort of mother-son relationship but we don’t get to see that development happening, or how that new relationship changed them, or really any proof that the timeskip happened at all besides Keith getting Galra marks and a teleporting space wolf. That particular time jump felt more like a cop-out to avoid writing Keith bonding with his mom.

Pacing:

To put it plainly, the pace is way too fast for anything to stick. The writing cycles from one season's worth of plot twists and WTF? moments to the next at the speed of light, leaving no time to address how the previous events affected the characters involved or not the show’s universe as a whole. So Lotor was actually evil all along and was using Allura to achieve his goals? Well there’s no time to mention how Allura feels about that, we’ve got three more surprise twists and a magic robot to shove into the plot! On the flip side however, the pacing is slower than a geriatric snail during fight scenes. The giant robot fights are usually the most exciting part of anything, but in Voltron, the fights are so formulaic that they just kinda… blur together into a boring fog. Lemme know if you can name this Voltron fight scene: the team’s fighting some random baddie, there’s a lot of yelling, someone gets a power up just big enough to defeat the current baddies when a bigger, eviler baddie appears who’s more powerful than the power up they just got, new baddie whoops Voltron’s ass, the support team watches in horror, someone else gets a power up that’s powerful enough to defeat the new bad guy, Voltron reins triumphant. What fight scene was that?

The Filler Episodes:

The fast pacing also means that they need to set aside breather episodes just to allow characters to interact besides in battle. That’s all well and good and there’s nothing wrong with filler episodes, if done right they can be some of the most memorable episodes a show can have (The Tales of Ba Sing Se anyone?) that is, if done right. But Voltron filler episodes don’t have that going for them. Filler episodes in vee el dee are an oasis of mud in the desert that is canon, they’re a generally unhelpful standstill point amidst a constantly changing series. I’ll admit that they can be funny at times but for the most part filler episodes are bizarre, unnecessary, and more often than not, poorly timed. If we just heard about a millenniums old empire folding in on itself and we’re just about to see a major character attempt suicide do we really need to see Coran go batshit while planning a space Disney On Ice?

The Ugly:

Racism:

#justiceforallura

I must confess that I am whiter than a polar bear in a snowstorm, but even I know that killing off a black girl (or black coded as the case may be), constantly torturing the Japanese guy, reducing the Samoan guy to food and fat jokes, and having the latino guy flirt with everyone before turning him into a farmer isn’t the best way to handle writing characters of colour. Denying said characters of colour arcs and screen time in favour of giving your white characters the same story in a different hat over and over again is also not the best treatment you can offer your poc characters. That’s not even mentioning other horrible treatment and stereotypes you’ll see the Voltron characters of colour experience. Let us also recall #notallgalra, the “what if the genocide victim was actually the bad guy” au mess in s3, all those “lol lance is stupid” jokes, the black character Kinkade speaking mainly in grunts, Allura dying to redeem the two genocidal dudes responsible for most of her trauma, and Hunk’s (half black half Samoan) family being enslaved at a fucking concentration camp like goddamn what the hell were you thinking Voltron that’s like hetalia levels of fucked up when we remember what kind of genuinely awful shit this show’s done to it’s minority characters.

Homophobia:

If you’re reading my review in the Voltron tag, and you watched the whole series, then there’s no way in hell that you haven’t heard about Adam dying and the backlash against Voltron for it. If you are somehow the .000001% of people who don’t know, Adam (a gay moc) was Shiro’s (another gay moc) fiancé who got a grand total of forty five seconds of screen time before dying when the Galra invaded earth. Meanwhile, L*tor and Allura’s relationship got almost triple that despite being abusive as fuck. But Shiro got married at the end of season 8! In a credits scene, to a guy in the background of a couple of scenes Shiro was also in. When lgbt fans expressed outrage at their rep being hyped up despite having no bearing on the plot or even Shiro as a character outside of one scene, instead of owning up to their mistakes, the crew of Vee El Dee said (or implied) that it was the fault of lgbt fans for hyping ourselves up. Yeah okay. Except after that we got confirmation that Ezor and Zethrid were a couple! Yay! Clearly a win for us El Gee Bee Tees right? Well… not really considering that both of them were depicted as psychotic torturers who also died a couple minutes later. Gotta love those crazy dead lesbians amirite?

Klance:

But why is klance in the “ugly” section!? You cry, I thought you were a klanti! I am an anti and I did ship klance but that’s not what I wanna talk about right now. When I put klance under ugly I wanted to discuss two things, the crew and the shippers. First let’s talk the crew; several folks on the Voltron staff have at the very least, not reacted negatively to the omnipresent ship that is Keith and Lance. I’m sure you’ll also remember that Lance’s VA Jeremy Shada was considered a KICK icon before that went south. The crew was also purposefully misleading when they talked about possible romances for Keith and Lance, the language they used was ambiguous enough that shippers interpreted it as proof that klance would become canon. When it inevitably didn’t and shit hit the fan, the staff backpedaled again. Stating that klance was never meant to be interpreted as romantic and we were all fools for thinking otherwise. That’s happened in the past so it’s a reasonable defence, except for the fact that scenes with Keith and Lance tended to contain unnecessary parallels to canonically romantic relationships, (the bonding moment paralleling an allurance scene in season six and their talk at the start of season eight paralleling two scenes, hunay in season one and l*tura in season five). So it’s not unreasonable to be a little suspicious there. Klance was huge on the internet, it’s impossible for the crew to have been completely unaware of what they were doing.

Next I wanna talk shippers. I’m not saying that being disappointed that a ship didn’t become canon is a bad thing. But when you act like that’s the worst thing Voltron did amidst the sea of ableism, racism and homophobia it gets a little tiring. The fact that so many klancers rushed to demonize Allura after season seven and eight and add on that I saw more people complaining about klance not becoming canon king than Allura dying a completely unnecessary death to redeem L*tor of all people was the final straw. I washed my hands of klance and Voltron as a whole.

———————————————

So that’s my review of V*ltron. I was gonna do a separate review of season eight but I didn’t even finish s8 and to be honest it probably wouldn’t have been any more than the words “Fuck Vee El Dee, Allura Deserved Better” in big pink letters. And I know I probably made someone angry with this review but if you actually managed to stick around my ramblings all the way to the end then I salute you regardless of whether or not you agree with me.

[led123123]

damn these.. dogs guys you know.. they have a really good.. senses.. I didn’t hear anything.. and they both knew already like.. could feel that someone or something is going on

lol.. I’m gonna start picking up banners.. of people.. and running around for 20 minutes.. xD when they die on start

shit.. looking for a video.. but.. can’t find it.. 

so.. the problem.. of aching teeth.. is.. not a soft pillow.. and.. not stretching in the morning.. 

if I stretch in the morning. I don’t have aching teeth..

because of sleeping on this pillow.. you know.. 

https://youtu.be/WIPhgoockNA

damn.. they banned me.. so I need new email.. but I have to like.. add a phone number now?? like.. jesus christ..

the fuck.. ??

red alert.. and.. like.. saying that I have to use my phone

god.. f*cking trash.. stupid shits

lol.. my username is finally not taken.. lol..

god.. 

wow.. it finally f*cking worked..

wow.. now it doesn’t work again.. xD

why the fuck..

wow.. such an agressive squad.. -36 -36

oh shit.. my wingman shots at close range were so f*ckiing deadly

I hit like.. all shots at close range

shit.. I mean.. damn.. almost all.. I got one clipped.. with flatline..

I hit 3 out of 4

1 milisecond.. and I would hit the 4th one & would probably.. kill lifeline.

-36.. yes drop solo god..

I cannot imagine hitting all shots on wraith at 60 meters..

god.. he took me out so fast..

being one clipped again.. with havoc.. 

of course havoc.. because it has no projectile speed.. 

I was watching the rest of his game.. he’s so bad.. he hit like.. 5% of his shots.. 

but of course he one clips me.. on the start.. then he can turn off the cheats..

because he can see that I’m watching him.. that’s so fucked up that they let the cheater now that he’s being watched..

https://youtu.be/xBKRuI2zHp0

f*ck this game..

I’m trying.. higher mouse sensitivity

I’m not used to this sensitivity.. it’s gonna take a while for me to get used to it..

https://youtu.be/y8qmN1sLZZA?t=223

god.. people really are never getting bored of repeating the same shit over and over 

hope new mouse sensitivity is gonna make me win every fight

today is a better day because I didn’t get heartburn

I ate.. one apple.. one cereal bowl. and a bit of pasta casserole from yesterday

I tried playing on new sensitivity.. and it’s normal.. I don’t feel that it’s fast at all

and I think it’s.. the previous one was too slow.. now I can aim faster 

omg.. I fried these people with wingman

sensitivity seems normal

I like higher sensitivity

because it’s fast game.. when fighting someone

I don’t get people.. who spend.. like.. 8 or more hours just playing.. every single day.. like.. I take breaks.. if I didn’t take any breaks.. I mean.. I only play like.. 1 hour.. if I didn’t take breaks then.. my cuticles would bleed

I can sit like.. 1 hour max.. if I sat any more.. then.. my cuticles would bleed

I don’t know how some.. people play like.. all the time..

https://youtu.be/9blQT5QPoZA?t=1242

“solo”

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8?t=159

I got better at volt.

and higher mouse sensitivity is better.. 

I didn’t notice.. like.. any.. problems with.. trying to aim.. I can only notice the benefits that I can move mouse on target faster with higher mouse sensitivity

and aiming is just as precise but it’s easier and faster 

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8?t=311

https://youtu.be/VqOqZBRZsj8?t=104

f*cking idiots..

4 hits in a row with g7 scout.. hip firing..

it doesn’t matter if I hit all shots.. they always hit all their shots.. 

f*cking idiots........... I wanna cry

I didn’t have ammo.. on flatline.. damn..

I had volt ammo though..

but I wouldn’t do much..

what are these people doing.. I’m always the last one dying

the fuck is wrong with this..

f*cking idiots.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my whole life is a prank video

and these teammates are also prank

https://youtu.be/m99JZkYI65g?t=25

sloth.

gay teammates. xD xD zipping solo on full squad

these people didn’t even know how to shoot..

these teammates are a fucking joke..

it’s funny

I had like 10 games of my teammates just dying.. solo one by one

and stupid parties.. who play it as if it was duo mode

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8?t=624

I’m so bored

I mean.. you know.. I though about.. spicing up my life..

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8?t=737

he has quite high sensitivity

https://youtu.be/KvDxuyJF4e8?t=1081

playing dota ranked also doesn’t make any sense now.. because of teams..

https://youtu.be/OUCIHsQ4Vio?t=25

lol everything is the same

https://youtu.be/OUCIHsQ4Vio?t=88

there’s so many more weapons

shit.. I’m so f*cking mad.. 

playing dota doesn’t make any sense too

the worst thing is how dumb people are

like.. I don’t wanna give up on one game.. 

I’m never gonna be good no matter what

but I still don’t wanna give up..

I’m getting one clipped all the time.. 

https://youtu.be/nB-AR5sH5cI

maybe I should play some racing game

they bought me trash apples again..

I’m.. hoping that.. they will.. get better.. with time.. but I don’t know if it’s gonna happen.. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.. but 

it’s gonna take like 2 weeks.. at elast..

one apple.. from the market.. was.. like.. getting spoiled on the outside..

I wanna eat something that isn’t fat

damn. other people used to care more about me.. now nobody gives a shit..

nobody gives a shit about me now.. this dude that I worked for.. had apple trees..

nobody gives a shit now

I would eat like.. good apples now

amonkaS.. = among us.. xD

https://images.app.goo.gl/bMT547qyDjDgtY2XA

amonkaS

who laughed? 

if you didn’t laugh.. then.. 

you’re bad at everything

https://images.app.goo.gl/K2eZDsRbeht39Gua6

https://youtu.be/_p8X0CuSQDA?t=149

damn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p8X0CuSQDA&lc=Ugxf6TInhs-lA8a99Sx4AaABAg

xD lol...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p8X0CuSQDA&lc=Ugz19hHtJjlAghHh_FF4AaABAg

there are people who have.. 2k kills.. there’s lots of people like that

[deliverydefresas]

the club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where i go

What is this you ask? I have no idea.

I’ve always wanted famous!simón with college!ámbar au-thingy and i was like “hey maybe this could be au enough for this one prompt i’ve owed barbara since the ice age” that i was supposed to post (and finish) by muffin’s birthday but then shit happened in my country and then i got (still am) sick so it came out so ???? that it’s basically forcing me to be make it longer than one chapter bc me is sick enough to think i can actually achieve this without disappointing any of you lol 

ANYWAY this is famous simón + college ámbar + the beanie au mess (????) and i’m warning you that, it is, indeed, a mess xD

The night had proved to be a drag.

Music was loud, voices tuned out by the speakers and the booming voice of whatever rock band they were playing at the moment, so he had run off to a balcony outside the bar, where the chilly air would be clean of the smell of alcohol and sweat. It was well over midnight, but his friends seemed to be more awake than ever; Nico was off flirting with a girl, most likely asking for her number, while Pedro order them another round of drinks.

It had been a tradition for them to go out after a show, and tonight had been no exception. They’d found a nice middle ground club near the venue, far enough so not that many fans could find them, but not far enough to get lost and get cashed a fortune by the taxi drivers. Truth be told, he was in no mood to go out; now that they were officially home he just wanted to hide away in his apartment for a couple days, and sleep in his bed after the three months they’d been on the road, but his mates had insisted. It was the penultimate show, the penultimate night before they went on a break from the touring and start the writing process for their new album.

It was also to celebrate the end of their first arena tour in the continent, just the three of them, before their management threw a party with all their friends and family tomorrow and were distracted by their attention (personally, Simón couldn’t care less but, again, his friends had insisted).  

He had thought of asking Luna to help him ditch, though he’d crossed the idea as soon he remembered she was high on the honeymoon phase with her new boyfriend. The last thing he wanted was to third wheel their date, or fifth wheel if Nina and her boyfriend were with them, too. So, he settled for having a couple of drinks, and help Pedro babysit Nico in case the blond decided to fly solo, or with the girl he was currently flirting with. That boy didn’t need another ‘16 fiasco.

Simón was brought back to the real world and out of his mind by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, and found himself eye to eye with a beaming girl, her voice as cheerful as she looked, a tablet well positioned in her hands, “you’re Simón Álvarez!” she took his silence as an invitation to sit at their booth, “oh my gosh, I can’t believe it! I told my friends you would be here, and they thought I was crazy! But you’re here, and I was right and they weren’t! I can’t wait to tell them!”

Her words were spoken too fast, but he did manage to understand a couple, “wait, wait, wait; you knew we’d be here?”

“As a dedicated journalist, vlogger and one of the biggest fans the Roller-Band has in the city, it’s my duty to know where, when and with who you are, of course!” Her chirpy tone never faltered, and it made him feel a little uneasy. Ever after over five years in the industry, he still felt weird when people approached him this way.

“What?!”

“We dedicated fans take details very seriously, silly. Don’t worry, I won’t post the exclusive right away, and I’ll definitely get your good side in the video; though, if you ask me, there’s not a bad side, at all.” She winked, but quickly turned her attention back to the screen of her tablet; “so, tell me, Simón; what is a hottie like you doing here tonight? Relaxing after a tough show? I heard a girl threw her bra at you and you almost poked your eye with your guitar, can you confirm you’re not blind? Also, did Nico really cheat on his last girlfriend with a groupie? Is Pedro gay? I know a girl who would die to get this denied. The Pedro thing, I mean, because Nico is kinda lame, don’t you think? I say it’s his hair. Anyway, how does it feel knowing the tour is ending with a sold out show in one of Argentina’s most important venues? Are you single? Or are you dating that girl from Cancún like that magazine says, hmm?” the girl bombarded him with questions, almost making him mentally dizzy with the speed they were out of her mouth.

“Listen-”

“Jazmín.” She offered her name, grinning at him behind the tablet.

“Okay, Jazmín,” he nodded, “listen I appreciate the interest but I came here to chill and an interview really isn’t what I had in mind-” Jazmín’s face fell in disappointment, and he cursed himself for being weak, “- but I guess a couple questions won’t hurt, right?”

She was back to beaming in a second. “Great! Thank you so, so, so, so, so much, Simón! The Fab and Chic fans will die when I tell them I met you and got an exclusive!”

He tried to smile as excited as she seemed to be, “yes, great.”

“Okay, I can always add the intro later so, back to the questions, did the flying bra blind you?” Jazmín sounded so serious, and so genuinely worried that he had to laugh at the question.

“No, it did not. Though I’d really appreciate it if they stopped throwing them at us, we have no use for them nor do we need them. Keep your bras, ladies.”

“They’re too expensive to throw,” she agreed before asking again, “about tomorrow’s show-”

Simón kinda tuned her out for a moment. Because then, he saw her entering. It was almost impossible not to, honestly, since her gold dress was an eye-catcher right away, shinning in the dim light of the balcony. Her scowl was enough to see she wasn’t happy, and was glaring directly at them.

“Jazmín!” the girl in front of him tensed immediately, cursing lowly before locking her tablet and turning to look back where golden girl was standing at. “Care to explain what you’re doing? Delfina and I have been looking for your ass for half an hour!”

“Ámbar!” Simón couldn’t see her face anymore, but he was positive Jazmín was grimacing. “Look who I met! It’s Simón, from the Roller Band! I told you they’d be here and he agreed to give us an interview, isn’t it great?”

Jazmín’s friend’s icy glare was now directed at him. She examined him for a minute, her eyes searching for something that he couldn’t really pinpoint. In the end, her gaze ended up on Jazmín again.

“That’s going to have to wait, because Delfi needs you right now. She found the other bandmates, and wants you to film it for the blog.”

The redhead started protesting as soon as the blonde started talking, but her friend was having none of it. “Maybe later? Simón, here-”

“Now, Jazmín.” Her tone was final, and it worked.

Jazmín hugged him out of nowhere, snapping a selfie quicker than he could smile and left the two alone, murmuring something that made her friend roll her eyes at her. He waited for the blonde to follow Jazmín out of the balcony, but it surprised him when she made no intention to move. Instead, she kept staring at him.

“What? Is there something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

She shrugged. “I’m trying to see what the big deal is about you that Jazmín had to go behind my back to try and interview first.” Simón was sure he looked as confused as he felt, but the girl offered no further explanation.

“Oh? Well, I’m Simón, it’s uh- nice to meet you?” he offered his hand to her, expecting her to shake it like a normal person. Instead, she ignored it and got closer until she was almost in his personal bubble. He vaguely noticed she was short; not as tiny as his best friend, but short enough that even in heels, he easily towered over her.

“Ámbar Smith.”

At this point, it was getting awkward. Neither spoke, but her eyes never wavered from him; silently judging him. Never had he felt as uncomfortable as he was now meeting a fan as he was then.

“Uh, if that’s all then I guess I should get go-” she stopped him from leaving with her hand, grabbing his forearm lightly.

“You owe The Fab & Chic an interview, remember?”  

“Right. Sorry, I thought that with Jazmín gone-”

The girl, -Ámbar- scowled at his words, “she wasn’t even supposed to interview you in the first place.”

“I wasn’t supposed to get interviewed, at all, in the first place.” He joked, trying to get rid of her scowl, and overall of the tense air that had been brewing since she’d joined him in the balcony ten minutes ago.

He was expecting a smile, or even laugh, but -as he was learning- the girl wasn’t into doing what he expected. Instead, a frown appeared between her eyes. “You’re right, you can go now if you want. I’m sorry if Jazmín or I ruined your night.”

She dropped her hand from his arm, and made a move to leave. Simón had to laugh, because a) she didn’t look sorry at all, and b) the half smile she was sending him looked more like a grimace than anything else. As soon as his laugh was heard, the scowl was back on her face.

“You didn’t ruin my night, Ámbar. I am, however, confused as to why you didn’t ask our management for an interview instead of stalking us at a bar.”

“We tried, but an interview for a college blog holds no interest to your manager. So, we had to use our own resources, and stalking you until we got somewhat-of-an-exclusive was Jazmín’s idea.”

Simón smiled. “An idea you still followed.” She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t deny his affirmation.

“I was overruled. Jazmín’s obsessed with the band, and Delfi -the other cofounder of the blog- is in love with your drummer, it was a lost battle.”      

They fell into silence then. Simón thought it was cute (and lowkey creepy) that they had bothered and wasted time of their lives to follow them, since they were pretty boring dudes just enjoying making music, and did nothing interesting enough to be ‘an exclusive’. For real, the biggest scandal they’d ever gone through was when Nico ended his relationship with Jim over a year ago; and it was only a scandal because the idiot got so drunk he let himself get pictured with another girl a few days after it. Besides that, they lived a very lowkey life that had no drama; it took them months to learn it, but they achieved it and didn’t have to endure the scrutiny as often as other ‘celebrities’.

Just as she was to leave again, probably thinking he’d never agree to give their blog a chance, he spoke, “we can’t let your effort go to waste now that you’ve met come this far, can we?”

Ámbar’s head snapped in his direction, shock evident on her face as her lips formed a little ‘o’. He was still smiling, but as the sound of his phone’s alarm resonated in the balcony’s quietness, he realized just how late it really was. He needed to grab his bandmates before their manager killed them for staying up that late on a show’s night.

“Listen, Ámbar, I gotta go now before a search party is sent our way. I can’t tomorrow, since it’s the end of the tour and all but, uh, the day after tomorrow maybe?” he could tell she was still taken off guard, but she nodded anyway, “perfect! Then, uh, what about same place, but like, way earlier? Can you manage to come here at, say, 14?”

This time she shook her head, “I have class at 13, but I’m free at 15; can it be 16:30 instead?”

He grinned, “16:30 is perfect. I’ll see you then.”

Simón was halfway to the exit door when she called him back, “wait! How do I know you’ll actually show up and not stand me up?” He wondered for a second if she was being serious, but her frown and crossed arms made it more than clear that she was, in fact, waiting for a guarantee.

He wasn’t dumb enough to give her his phone number (they’d just met, and even if Ámbar didn’t strike him as someone who would throw him to the lions and betray his trust, he still wasn’t going to risk it) and since the only things he had on him where his wallet, keys and phone, he was at loss as to what he could give her.

His phone sounded again after the five minutes snooze passed, hurrying him to get out of there and find Pedro. Simón scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit he’d caught from Pedro years before, and then it hit him. As quickly as he could, he walked back to her, took off the wool garment off his head and put it on hers. It went a little lopsided, her head was smaller than his and wouldn’t fit as perfectly as it was used to being on him, but it fitted just fine. He allowed himself to think it looked cute. She was cute, after all.

Ámbar wasn’t as happy, though, “what the hell is this?!”

“It’s my favorite beanie, given to me by my grandma when the RB was formed, and your guarantee that I’ll be here after tomorrow. I really do need to go now, Ámbar; when did you see my friends last, can you tell me?”

“At a table near the bathroom; though, Simón this thing isn’t-”

He wasted no time, he kissed her left hand quickly, and ran out of the balcony; barely registering her -by now- almost non-audible protest.

Simón found a tipsy Nico and a very happy-looking Pedro sitting at the table a couple meters away from the bathroom; Jazmín chatting away to her tablet, and a blushing brunette talking to Pedro, a small notebook and a pen in her hand. He guessed she was the other cofounder of the blog Ámbar was talking about, the one smitten with his best friend; he knew he’d have to interrogate Pedro the next morning, his usually-shy-not-talkative friend looked way happy for someone who hated being interviewed.  

“I’m sorry to cut your chat, ladies, but we have to go. It’s almost 2 AM and we have a concert tonight.” He interrupted, raising his voice so they could hear him from above the music. Nico started laughing at nothing, but Pedro was on his feet immediately, saying his goodbye’s and thank you’s to Jazmín and her friend. He smiled to the girls, before dragging Nico out of his seat and started walking towards the bar’s exit.

As soon as they were out of earshot of anyone in there, Nico asked him where he had run to, why had he ditched them when the girls attacked them for an interview (they hadn’t attacked them, Pedro denied, but they did take them off guard when Jazmín appeared with her tablet practically on their faces), and questioned his beanie’s whereabouts (at least he knew he wasn’t drunk enough to forget that he had one on when the night started). He explained them what had happened, his blond friend lost it.

“Simoncito has a date! Simoncito has a daaaaaateeeee!”

He snorted at Nico’s chanting, “I don’t have a date, I’m just helping them with their blog.”

Now it was Pedro’s turn to snort, “you realize the redhead got a selfie with you, and filmed your meeting before you even met her friend, and so you didn’t have to give her anything, right?”

Simón didn’t answer, groaning when he realized Pedro was right; who, in seconds, was on the floor laughing at his expense.

He really needed to stop being so nice.

“A dateeeeee has Simoncitooooo!”

[katiemcvay]

Men Not to Fuck in 2k17

It took me a long time to write this - as opposed to last year when the list came fast and furious in a Nyquil-fueled haze. I tried to write it in December, and then January, and then I promised myself it’d be done by the 20th.

But for a brief moment in time, fucking felt so beside the point. If the US had elected a fascist, all bets were off. Fuck a hole in the wall, for all I care.

But do I want you fucking a man without a bed frame? No, of course not! I want more for you. And, if you don’t have principles in your bed, no way you’ll have them in the streets.

So here it is - my heteronormative as fuck list of men not to fuck. (All laws from 2016 are still in effect.)

1. Dweebs - Dweebs are bad. Full stop. Dweebs watched a lot of movies in the 90s that lionized people who were bullied and took it way too much to heart. I had a lot of relatives die as a kid but you don’t see me bringing it up every time I’m a dick to someone. I get someone called you a gay slur as a kid (you must, in this moment, emphasize that you are straighttttt), but that doesn’t a hate crime make. Dweebs are one intense Reddit thread away from starting on their journey to neo-nazism. Do not fuck.

2. Men with a Certain Style - If men were able to transfer the curse of the high-heeled shoe exclusively to women by commodifying sex, common sense tells us that the commodification of sex can move mountains. If you want to get a haircut that could be called “fashy” feel free to go for it, but know that you’ll be doing it with your dick in your hand.

3. Liars - Since America decided to let their racism take the wheel in the voting booth and elect a man who is not even charming enough to be called a “grifter,” your life is full up on lies. You straight up don’t have room in your skull for another lie. Move on.

4. Men Who Talk Too Much - “Too much” is a metric that every woman must decide for herself, but it must be decided. For me, “too much” has been a hard-forged definition hammered out over countless, pussy-drying trivia nights. If a man leans over me to give another man a Simpsons reference, this girl is out. You’ll hear no end of men in 2017 talking too much nonsense about nothing. Value your voice and save his by saying “bye” when you meet.

5. Men Who Consume but Do Not Produce - Consumption is not an identity. You can watch as many corny movies as you want but this does not a personality make. We turn to the ancient proverb: “If a Stepbrothers quote falls in the woods and no one is around it to hear it, does it constitute a joke?” No, it doesn’t. People should produce and consume in equal measure. It doesn’t matter so much what he produces - a good scrambled egg, art about men who kiss hats,  a baseball blog - just produce SOMETHING.

6. Men without Unique Beliefs - I have three beliefs: 1. Everyone should join their local library, 2. Nicki Minaj is one of the best musical artists of my lifetime, and 3. If you can vote, you must vote. Now, some of these may be problematic or wrong, but they are my own. A man you fuck should have unique beliefs - not those he absorbed from his family or a football coach - but those he arrived at at his own. Whether or not you can live with said beliefs is up to you, but he should have some.

7. Irony Boys and Internet Men - Irony is the haven of the removed. Irony is the ultimate shelter - are you really saying something? We’ll never know. You could be kidding using a rhetorical device that shields you from ever taking a firm stance in anything, including a relationship! LOL.

8. Men Without an Emotional Vocabulary - The ultimate in adulthood accessories is the ability to say clearly and honestly, “This is how I feel and why.” We’re in a miasma of shit in 2017 and playing “what did he mean in this text” won’t be cute any longer. State your feelings upfront and, preferably, on the phone.

9. Men Who Don’t Read - Here, I am not talking about the illiterate, so don’t even try to be cute. Illiteracy is a complicated issue. Reading is not. Can you read? OK, do it. Pick up a book and pick it up fast. Every day you’ll face a president who has maaaybe skimmed a book. You want a man who reads books. A John Irving? Sure. A John Grisham? Fine. A Nora Roberts? Fuck him already.

10. La La Land Lovers and the Happily Ignorant - Who in the fuck is La La Land for in the year of our lord 2017? Probably someone who has avoided all news since 2015. You, as a woman who fucks men, cannot be ignorant. You’re buying an IUD, you’re lighting your phone on fire with calls to your representatives, and even your mom is worried about The World at Large. You do not have time! In 2015, sure, you might have had time to explain feminism in bars (I myself, took the bronze in “Patience with the Question ‘What About Men’s Rights?’”). But no longer. You have to get a man who is already up to speed.

11. Men without Plans - My mother told me to always have a backup plan. She has three different kinds of licenses to sell things - insurance, real estate, and a third thing. Mothers know. You have to be prepared for anything. In 2017, you find a man with one solid plan because you know you have 10.

12. The Proud/Never Wrongs - Pride goes before you don’t fall into my bed. Those too proud to be wrong will never be brave enough to be right. 2017 is a year to dare to be right and therefore risk being wrong. There are so many people who will be aggressive and insistent that they are right. Don’t fuck those without humility in 2017.

13. The Vain - A man who lives in a gold leaf place is going to be president. In 2017, I can’t give a shit about optics. (NOTE: Vanity is not the same as giving a fuck. A lack of hygiene and style does not a lack of vanity make.)

14. The Unlabeled - So many people in 2017 are going to face true strife due to the labels applied to them. If applying a label to your relationship is a bridge too far for the man you’re fucking, get the fuck away from him now.

15. The Conspiracy Theorist - No explanation. Video below.

This list will be ongoing, because men keep being alive in new and terrible ways.

[crystalusafanseries]

Rewritten Episode One of SPC

In Sodukai, a red and white house could be is shown, and if you were to open the door, go upstairs and turn to the right, a brown door is seen. If you were to open the door, you could find what looks like a girl’s room. Purple striped wallpaper covered every wall in the room, including the ceiling. Books were scattered all over the floor, anime dvds were on the bed, and the floor was hardwood, with a purple heart-shaped carpet. There was an alarm clock on a purple dresser, as well as a purple bed with a plain white sheet and cover. This Was Kohura Yume’s room.

Kohura Yume. 15, girl, certainly gay. Kohura usually went to sleep at 10:00PM and ironically, woke up at 10:00AM each morning. This wasn't good, though. She had school, and going to school required her to sleep early.

Her alarm clock rang. She wanted to get up and turn it off, but if she did, her mother would notice and she would have to get up. A couple minutes later, she had no choice but to move her hand forward and turn off the damned thing. "Ugh. I hate this shit", she groaned.

Like she feared, her mother heard not only the alarm clock get turned off, but also Kohura's groan. "Kohura!"

"Mama-sama. I'm sleepy, school isn't necessary..."

"Yes it is, young lady! You will get up and go to school now!"

"But mama-sama, I didn't eat breakfast", Kohura whined.

"You should've woken up!"

"But mama-."

"Shut it. Go to school, now,” her mother snapped.

"Fine."

Annoying old lady. You go to school. 

Sekai High School was a hell which was called school. Everybody was getting pregnant, people were forming gangs, cliques were appearing here and there, people were are bullied severely, and, worst of all, the lessons themselves. The school work was stressful, you had too many tests, and the teachers were assholes. And probably even worse , she had to walk because her mother was too lazy to drive her there.

Examples were nearly everywhere.

A girl, Haruna Aoi, 16, tried to walk forward until the school bully, Nagisa, pushed her out of the way, making her fall over while Nagisa and her friends laughed.

“Excuse me.”

“Do I need to excuse you? Why don’t you excuse us?”

The girl backed up some, letting the bullies go first. “Uh, ok.”

They didn’t let her though. With a small push, the girl fell in a puddle of water, and without feeling any remorse, the bullies simply laughed.

“Haha. Excuse us, next time.”

The general appearance of the school was beautiful, with flowers growing, a small garden, water fountain and the main school building was a bright, clean violet. But remember, don't judge a book by it's cover.

Well, that was Kohura’s idea, after all.

She thought for a second. Will the teacher let me in if I'm late? She had to see. Kohura opened the tall, silver door and nearly fell over before bumping into Hinata. "Ouch.." To give her a quick hello, she gave her a kiss and clung to her face.

"Ko-chan! I'm happy to see you today!"

"Gay. And please don't talk to me until after class, I'm trying to get to my classroom, plus I'm running late."

She ran past Hinata, leaving Hinata was a very deep frown, and up the stairs as fast as she possibly could. The adrenaline in her body pumped out at maximum speed. The con was that she nearly fainted while eventually making it to the classroom.

"Miss...Shibu", she said between gasps for breath.

The teacher quickly looked at her wristwatch, giving Kohura an angry glare. "Yume. It is 10:45."

"Oh that little bitch! I'm going to get my hands on her-"

She was cut off by Nagisa before finishing her sentence."Get your hands on..your girlfriend? Lol wow, I'm surprised you two aren't already, ahem 'active'."

The sex joke. Again. Kohura was not truly interested in that at all, and she hated when Nagisa, the bully, teased her about it.

"Whatever...Nagisa, you're a pathetic ass as always."

"Ignore Nagisa, Kohura. As a 10th grader, I expect good grades, including appropriate attendance. Also, Kohura, watch your mouth, please. This is class, not recess. Swear like nobody’s watching elsewhere."

Rolling her eyes, she responded to the teacher. "I woke up late, Shibu. I sleep later than the other students, and I wake up later. Yes, I have an alarm clock but I ignore it, mostly. Also, my mouth doesn’t need to be ‘watched’."

"That doesn't matter. If you are late again, you will have to wait in the hall. Understood?"

"Understood."

"Now, begin and finish your work, promptly."

The Land Of Love was a bright and happy place, located in the sky. Filled with rainbows, people got married and fell in love everyday. The land was free of sin. Everybody loved everybody.

Today was also the first day of the Festival Of Love, and annual event that celebrated even more love. People also called it the 'circle festival'.

A few days ago, the queen, Queen Mizuyu, aka Mizuyu Kotoko, got a threat from a city located in the land of love. She decided to let it slide at first, but then she got more and more messages each day. She was need and she had to do something. Your sister, your sister is coming! You must do something!

Today, a hot pink bear-like fairy was sitting on the lap of Queen Mizuyu. Admiring the queen's beauty, the fairy rubbed her paws on the queen's long, pink hair.

Mizuyu’s grin disappeared and she took a deep breath. "Heartshine."

"Yes, my queen, ~hafa."

"I need you to be plan and be in charge of the Festival Of Love."

Heartshine’s nearly shrieks, but replies with a higher voice tone than usual."For what, ~hafa?"

"In another city, called Ai, they have sent me a message. A message alerting me of a threat. And, as the queen, I have to take action in some way."

"But-"

"Heartshine...please, do this. Do this, for me.."

No one could reply after that, they were too shocked to talk. A large cloud of black smoke appeared, burning everyone’s eyes, stinging their throats and prickling their skin. And,  if you looked closely, the body of a woman could be seen.

The woman emerged from the smoke, with a big grin covering her evil-looking face.

This woman was Shizuku, Queen Mizuyu's younger twin sister. She looked like Mizuyu: brown skin, pink hair, same body shape. She was here, currently, to get revenge on Mizuyu. Mizuyu was chosen to become queen because of her intelligence, lady-like matters, her older sister figure, and many more factors got her chosen, instead of Shizuku.

Shizuku wanted to rule, and got upset over this. But, Mizuyu, however, wanted Shizuku's help. Shizuku refused, and ran away, far away, in an abandoned place called the infinity fortress.

“Queen? Who’s that ~hafa?”

“It’s my twin sister, who I never thought I would see again.”

“But why is she here ~hafa?”

“Maybe to...get revenge.”

“But why does she want revenge ~hafa?”

“Let her explain. She can talk.”

Shizuku smiled more, mocking her older sister’s deep, worried voice."Onee-chan. I don't mean to capture you, but it's the only way for me to become queen of this place."

"You aren't fit for being queen though. You have to rid yourself of your selfishness, and think more about other's. Smile."

"Funny, really funny. I need you..gone. Don't worry though, I'll keep you safe, in my fortress!"

A black swirl of bright smoke and light lifted up Mizuyu, sucking out all of her magical energy and making her weak. After the smoke was gone, Mizuyu collapsed on the ground, left with no power.

Mizuyu’s body is then picked up by Shizuku, who smiles and travels back to the infinity fortress with her. The second before collapsing, she let out a yell to Heartshine. "Find the Pretty Cure for me!

Kohura was in the hall looking for Hinata. She wanted to at least give an apology for the incident that happened earlier.

It was lunch time, so all the students were currently running out.  This was a great time for Heartshine to sneak in when one of the lunch teachers walked into the building. Heartshine ran in the hallway, too, trying to see who was a Pretty Cure or not. She did not want to get seen, so unknowingly, she went into Kohura's bag using Hinata’s locker.  However, she peeked out of the bag a bit, seeing Kohura's face.

Is she a Pretty Cure? I mean, it could be possible.

Finally, Kohura found Hinata. "Hinata-"

Hinata made a depressed face at Kohura, with her arms crossed. Trying to avoid possible eye contact, she turned around. "What...you ignored me earlier..."

"Aww, come on. I was late."

"I was 15 minutes late too, Ko-chan."

This had to end soon. Kohura wanted it to end. Girlfriends don’t stay mad or sad at each other 24/7. In her most apologetic voice, she continued taking. "Anyway, Let's-"

They heard someone talking in Kohura's bag. Hinata opened the bag, and looked closer. She saw a small bear like creature.

Hinata screamed and backed up. Having a horrified expression on her face."Ko-chan! There's a creature in your bag!"

"What! Get it out!!"

"Ok! I don't even know what is it so! Uh, come here, kitty kitty!"

"IS IT A BREATHING DOLL! GET THE BREATHING DOLL OUT!"

Heartshine didn’t want to use her suffix now. She was highly nervous and she was in a hurry."I'm not a doll!"

"IT TALKED", they both said at the same time.

"Look, you two. I'm not a doll, and I'll explain myself. This could take a while, though..."