#so for now i n33d to just hang on and k33p going until it IS safe for me to make life 8etter for myself in those ways

[cornflowercanine]

man it doesnt matter if ive 833n thinking a8t it for 2 seconds or 7 hours the first step and/or the most crucial part to 8eing happier is 8e. kind. to. yourself. if youre like in ur early t33ns or just went through/are going through Some Shit it f33ls very satisfying and valid8ing and Like Something to 8eat yourself up over everything and it can 8ecome a ha8it so so so fucking fast if everything else already sucks 8ut ohhhhhhhhh my god. even if the only thing you do is mentally say to yourself ‘i look good in this shirt’ or ‘that was a nice thing to say to them’ or ‘im glad i got myself food’ Once A Day it will make so so so much difference you cannot IMAGINE

[cornflowercanine]

today was apeshit (good and 8ad)

>managed to wake up at 7:30 am aGAIN despite me 8eing fully capa8le of sl33ping in + that wasn't a full eight hours, i just Couldnt k33p laying there trying to sl33p lol >

>going 8ack and forth from mind-num8ing dread a8out Have To Pay 500 Dollars Rent None Of Us Have 8y Tomorrow Or We'll Get Kicked Out, to having my head spin from laughing with my friends >sis told me last night our mom would pay us 8ut i didn't think that might go through hence going 8ack and forth from im gonna die to It's fine actually i n33d to turn my 8rain off for a minute from all this :8lush: >sis finally wakes up at. 1 pm. tells me, mum8ling, that our mom can't pay us. n33dless to say i f33l 8ad, thankfully all the hoes (my friends) s33m to have disappeared for an hour so i dont kersplode a8out it to anyone >press sis a8t it more, mom could pay us on monday, "....actually i think this goes to the 15th it doesnt have a d8 on it :)" "8ut it's a 3 day notice that we got on the 11th isn't that the 14th" "..." >literally one day short. sis says our mom doesn't have the money now, 8ut our older 8ro does, so she tries to middle man 8etw33n us to get it over >sister's fiance asks her mom to help too >tensely it's ended on okay we've Pro8a8ly got it, sis leaves for work (AT 3 PM HER WORK STARTS AT 10 AM SHE HAD A 2-HOUR SHIFT I'M GONNA FUCKING), kinda just have to w8 til sis's fiance's mom replies/our mom steps up, nothing else to do, thusly: >Creamed Honey Discussion Hour has 8egun. my life is promptly ruined 8y

8ROWNING'S FLAVORED CREAMED HONEY THAT S33MS TO 8E 8RIGHT FUCKING PINK AND RED IN FLAVORS I FUCKING LOVE *AND* I COULD PRO8A8LY 8E TAKEN TO THEIR PHYSICAL GIFT SHOP SOMETIME. HOW CAN I COPE KNOWING I DONT HAVE THIS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW /lighthearted >spend 30 minutes looking at madoka magica side comic things to try and find a 8onus where homura is explaining madoka to the rest of the quintet and Godoka, Invisi8le, is going ahhh!! homura youre idolizing me way too much!! I STILL COULDNT FIND IT 8TW IM FUCKING -PUNCHES WALL- >8ut i DO unlock pure autistic special interest joy over these comics. you know the homestuck panel format where a char is like *-* looking up at thought 8u88les of the thing they like, its in jades intro and i think m33nah does it too? i did that. >GET INFORMED RENT IS PAID. WITH OUR MOM AND MY SISTER'S FIANCE'S MOM. OPEN ANNOUNCEMENT AS "WHO WANTS TO FUCKING KISS ME WITH TONGUE". THANK GOD THANK FUCKING GOD >ask my friend "hey im not sure if im d8ing this person or not should i ask? zhe called us watching a movie a few days ago a d8 and when i jokingly say 'haha that was so funny wanna d8 a8out it' zhe says yes". ze says "didnt you literally ask hir if zhe's your gf and zhe said yes". "i might actually just 8e fucking stupid" >ask hir >i have a gf now :partying_face: >

>coo and chirp at moirail and wish himer goodnight and hang out until it's time to sl33p, looking at images of homucifer and konan akatsuki >here now, 12:40 am, i shouldve 833n in 8ed 40 minutes ago, 8ut tomorrow is my day off so it's ok wow