#so i can sleep early tonight cuz that thing also makes me drowsy

[aria0fgold]

It's one of Those days (couldn't fall asleep, slept at 8 am something, woke up after 4 hours, couldn't fall back asleep, got a cold for some reason in the time I'm tryna fall back asleep, is that a part of an allergic reaction???, took cold medicine, tempted to take allergy medicine so I can finally fall asleep, but I wanna sleep tonight so tonight it is, time to try and fall asleep again with an itchy body and a slight cold)

[devil-changmin]

Alright here’s the tea about things that “make you sleep”

I’m not even putting it in the tags cuz I hate it here

Alright so step right up welcome to the circus of insomnia (that should be my blog title honestly)

Caffeine has always been a weird one for me. Sometimes I drink it and I get so tired I have to take a nap. Sometimes I don’t feet anytning at all. Sometimes I get the like shivers or whatever like my hands shake and my heart leaves my body. I don’t know if that says anytning to you about anything.

So melatonin. We can just cross it right off the list I think we all know the drawbacks of melatonin. If you want to sleep for 4 hours and then wake up like sandy cheeks waking up from her hibernation, melatonin is your friend. I had a stash of a bunch of melatonin and yes it did help me fall asleep but I got annoyed because I would sleep for like exactly 4 hours and wake up again.

This evil thing. Diphenhydramine. You may know this classic from its presence in Benadryl. Benadryl and Dramamine and stuff that if meant to make you drowsy has never really made me drowsy or like not enough to make me actually go to sleep. I should have known right? My friend and I both had jobs that started early and I was staying at her house so we got some of this stuff to make us actually go to sleep. Right? Wrong. She was like “u know some people say this makes it harder for them to go to sleep.” I was like...no...please...don’t let me be “some people.” 20 minutes later she was fast asleep and I was laying in her bed slowly realizing that of course, of course, my brain could not accept sleep so easily. We don’t really need to go into the hallucinations but I did hallucinate and I did cry and I was very disoriented all day at work so I was not a fan of that.

Risperidone. What’s that? You say it’s not a sleep aid? You’re right. It’s not. One side effect is drowsiness (my phone tried to autocorrect to dreamcatcher so lol) but for me it only made me drowsy for the first few days I took it and then I was totally fine after my dose at noon to go to class and stuff. However this is somehow the most effective sleep aid on my list because I think I got more sleep while I was on this medication than I have during the past 6 months and I am not doing ANYTHING right now and I was a full time student then so I guess taking away your hallucinations really does help you sleep haha

Cannabinoids. Alright so my dad is a stoner. Like mega stoner. My mom hates weed but she’s been taking these pot gummies for help her sleep or whatever and they both keep trying to get me to do that too so fun ya okay. I tried my mom’s and it basically did nothing and then I took two and like also kinda nothing. So we went and got some that are like actually for sleep. Basically it’s 5mg of THC and 1mg of CBN okay lit right. The first night I took one of these like what even happened we don’t know. Basically, welcome back to hallucination. So then the next night I took half of one. It did nothing 🤩. The next night I took 3/4. It did nothing. I took 3/4 again the next night and slept for a solid 2 hours. The night after that I said fuck it let’s do a whole one again. WOW amazing I slept for the whole night 9 hours I love my life. Tonight I took one and omg wow. Nothing. I feel nothing. So now I’m just here.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate it here. Yes I’m just complaining but like I just want to sleep and especially to sleep during the night because I just want people to stop being upset with me for not being able to sleep or be a real person or whatever. I have followed like every suggestion ever on how to sleep not just the ones I listed above and so many things people will recommend to me and I’ll try it for a while and I’m just like “it really doesn’t work” and they’re like oh :/ it works for me I don’t know what’s wrong and I JUST want to know whag it is about sleeping that my brain hates so much like we know it is bad I’ve literally sat on my floor crying from frustration multiple nights a week because the morning is COMING and I know I’m gonna be TIRED later because oh no I only have 3 hours and I can’t sleep and I JUST WANT TO SLEEP and then I fail school and I miss class cuz I was asleep and people are just like why the FUCK can’t you be fucking normal what is wrong with you and All I want is to sleep that’s all I want olease just let me do it teach me how it’s done I don’t even remember when I used to actually go to sleep and be like rested I have been doing this since I was like 13 I don’t even remember I just want it TO END PLEASE

And all of my friends who also stayed up late and stuff are like “oh I don’t know one day I just started waking up at 9 every day it’s so weird like I don’t even need an alarm” or like “I just evened out my sleep schedule” and they’re all like “omg we’re worried about you why are you still like this?” And I’m like i DONT KNOW please give me the grow up hormones or whatever that make you wake up I don’t want to do the no sleep/4 hours sleep/2hours/16 hours week anymore I don’t want to be a failure I just want to live