#so i had a small crisis over that for a bit!!😂

[brandwhorestarscream]

Reincarnation au

Oh my, Optimus, Prowl and Starscream?! 😂

I'm imagining the constructicons pampering their leader, and, considering that there are multiple sparklings, making little jokes about the "mini-gestalt"

Starscream has a lot of emotions about this, a lot. But he has the rest of the Aerie + Windblade, Wheeljack, Bumblebee to help(they are also discreetly taking precautions after the discovery). Cybertron's News media are going crazy

IDW Optimus is... reacting as well as can be expected of him, Ironhide (who is the only one I remember) by his side and helping as best he can.

The lost light is now setting up a mini daycare, of course megatron is still deciding (and talking to rung and ravange) but the triplets + drif and ratchet sparklings are still a small team

(Which of the triplets is pink and maroon?)

Im just gonna answer these point for point. Please note, singleton pregnancies for non-seeker mecha are the norm for this AU and Rodimus having triplets is an outlier. Everyone else is only expecting one

1. The constructicons certainly try to pamper Prowl, but he is not reciprocal. He's like a feral cat: he'll accept food and attention but if you try to touch him he'll hiss and bite you

2. Starscream kept the cycle under wraps for as long as he could, and he's not at all keen on letting anyone get too close. It takes a lot of pestering (and abusing Sky's warpdrive, let's be honest here) just for his trine to get into his quarters to look after him. Thundercracker lectures him on taking it easy and not working so hard as the carrying cycle progresses, and he + Skywarp have their servos full constantly running after their workaholic trine leader trying to get him to rest lmao

3. Optimus is... God, I don't even know. How would IDW OP react? It's not like he's opposed to having a sparkling, but it just feels too soon. It wasn't planned, and he's kind of overwhelmed by....... Everything. Sparklings are a lot, being a parent is a lot, and he's still got a crazy busy schedule despite not being an active political leader atm. Ironhide threatens to sit on him if he won't allow himself time to rest lmao

4. It takes a hunch of schedule shuffling but with Ultra Magnus on the case there's quickly an airtight schedule for bitty care that guarantees they'll all be supervised by at least 2 responsible adults at all times during the work day. It's a bit of a transition after the mamas finish with maternity leave (Ratchet only takes 2 days off before he's back in the medbay with bitty strapped to his back smh), but they make it work

4.5 Megatron is still having a crisis over his impending parenthood. This can go one of two ways: he's had sparklings before and lost contact with them thanks to the shitshow of Cybertron's system and it's a repressed trauma response, or he has first-time carrier jitters combined with infinite guilt about The War and worrying his sparkling won't be able to have a good life with his name attached to them 🤭

5. Roddy's triplets are G1 ("Pinky"), TFA ("Maroon"), and Cyberverse ("Lil Red"). Mama Rodimus hasn't given them names yet (aka idk what to call them lol) so for now they're just called their colors. Kinda like Nightprowler was dubbed Lil P for the longest time

[cha-melodius]

Hellooooo 16 and 20 for the ask game please and thanks!

I've got two of these writer asks lingering in my inbox because both asked the meta question (20), and although I answered it here for a chapter of Nova, Baby, I've also been like, I should do meta on different fics! So it's taken me a bit to get around to them. But thank you for asking!

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

I don't think I've tried anything TOO new since I started writing for RWRB, honestly. I'm trying to write more silly short fics, though, and there are some prompt scenarios in my inbox now that will definitely stretch my creative muscles (like the STI clinic meet cute, lmao).

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

A bit of meta for All for a Taste of the Honey (aka FBI agents and stripper!Henry).

I have to admit when stripper!Henry swept the Brownstone, I did not think I would be participating. That's definitely a genre I don't usually write in. But then my brain gave me undercover-as-a-stripper as a concept, and undercover missions?? Now that's a genre I know. I chose FBI agents because I was in the middle of writing a CIA/MI6 AU (fun fact, I actually left @celeritas2997 and @cricketnationrise on a big cliffhanger in my docs and took a break to write this fic, lmao. I'm amazed they didn't murder me), and didn't want to overlap with that, but FBI agents was closer to spies than detectives or something. I just love writing bickering partners who are actually in love but just don't know it yet, and this was ripe for that.

(Spoilers below)

As with any undercover as a stripper trope fic worth its salt, the whole point of this one was to get Alex to have a breakdown over Henry stripping. Not just the taking off clothes and gyrating on stage, but the whole competency kink thing, because Henry's actually good at it. Also an excuse to put Henry in a slutty Navy uniform; the American flag briefs were chosen for maximum psychic damage to Alex. I like to think Henry kept them for the future and deploys them when he wants something.

Looking at this fic again, I think the part where Alex watches Henry come out on stage might be my highest frequency of italicized words in text ever. 😂 This boy was really suffering.

“Straight like you’re straight?” Henry asks smugly, like the absolute asshole he is. Alex hates him so much right now. “Or actually straight?”

I'm pretty sure this is everyone's favorite line based on how often it got quoted back to me in the comments, and it's mine too. Something about cocky, teasing Henry just gets to me.

I love Alex having a slow bisexual crisis, and I also love him getting hit over the head with a 2x4. This is the latter.

Henry had caught a small-caliber round to the gut on what should have been a simple sting, and Alex had not taken it particularly well. There’d been no real reason for him to linger at Henry’s bedside in the hospital, even though he’d desperately wanted to.

Just me hinting at one of my favorite tropes to write, the ol' sitting by the hospital bed of your injured partner standard. Often leads to feelings realizations. In people who aren't as dense as ACD.

The scene where Alex busts into the back room was probably the hardest part of this fic to write, because I needed Alex back there without raising too much of a ruckus, but I also needed Vega's security to be tight. Alex's distraction + quiet takedown of the bodyguards is very much a Michael Weston (Burn Notice) move.

“Apologies,” Henry says to the other dancers as they go. “Pleasure working with you. You were all very lovely.”

Henry being a Polite King delights me to no end.

The car chase + argument scene was possibly my second favorite part to write after Alex losing it in the club. For some reason I find car chases actually quite easy to write; I'd just written a really big one for a fic in a different fandom, so it was fresh in my mind I guess. I also love their fight over Alex being overprotective. I do remember hemming and hawing a bit at their words to make sure it wasn't too similar to one of their Alex-being-overprotective fights from Nova, Baby. (Yes, Alex being overprotective, especially when Henry doesn't need protecting, is a big fave of mine.)

then he’s climbing across the center console and into Alex’s lap, somehow managing to not bump into the car horn as he does so.

I spent too long thinking about if this (and everything that follows) is actually possible. I googled photos of cars. We're going to pretend that it is.

Henry’s hands sink into his curls

Pretty sure every fic I've ever written about them includes this line. I love being vindicated.

All right, I think that's all I've got for now! Thanks again for the ask!

[dwtisgay]

🚨BREAKING NEWS COVERAGE🚨 (not actually). but ok so we know dream’s eye injury happened on the same night as his & george’s pizza date right?? like, ~the facts~:

dnf hang out & george has a nap. later they eat pizza (x) (<-george’s little eye roll as soon as dream says ‘last night’ is SUS. so sus)

dream falls out of bed (sleeping), hits his eye and blacks out !? (x)

much later that evening dream drinks beer for the first time ?? (x)

So. SO. taking it all at face value laid out like that it makes me wonder if uh. uhm. were Dream and George having a nap together?

there are obv multiple things dream could be lying about here;

that the pizza story actually took place that night - though given Karl’s genuine reaction to it I think it did. v least it’s the first time he heard the story

that dream got the injury before the drinking. this is the most likely suspect for a lie imo, maybe he got a bit drunk and fell over cringe fail (tho more unlikely since he’s 6’3” - even as a lightweight idk if 2 beers is gonna make that much of a dent??). still kinda makes more sense than smacking your face that badly, blacking out, waking up covered in blood etc and then deciding “nice. time to party and get drunk with blood pouring out my eyebrow!” tho. i doubt that’d be drom-approved behaviour

(sidenote do we know if dream went to any creator parties sat eve? who do we think he was drinking with - just george, dtkq & co, or somewhere more public?)

I guess it also depends on whether we think george & sapnap asked about the injury on stream as ~content~ for chat or if it was the first time they were hearing it irl too. (probs for chat - foolish & punz didn’t react to it when dream wandered over iirc, didn't ask if he was ok). ig they all talked about it earlier/the night before

maybe dream made this story up & something else happened entirely aka keemstar’s right and dream got jumped lmfao. zero evidence tho & dream seems to only fudge details when he lies rather than inventing whole stories

I'm tinhatting the sequence of events as dnf nap > george pushes dream onto the floor in his sleep (rip dnf cancelled) > pizza 😞 > dtkq drinkies lol. or maybe; dnf nap > pizza hangout > drinking > falls out of bed a lil drunk and wakes up in the morning with injury.

idk if this even makes sense? what do you think? HOW DID THIS EVENING PAN OUT. my heart is telling me dnf sex at twitchcon tho. crisis

first of all I love you I think you just provided me a missing puzzle piece for the night now to delve into this very fun speculation, I actually missed the bit in the keemstar dm's where he mentions he went drinking AFTER the injuries! I have a speculative answer for one of your questions no.3 who were they drinking with? Hasan and his group, because of this clip

you can hear hasan in the background of this clip using his british voice and saying how gnf "got blasted last night" Hasan that night had a small low key dinner night with austin Valkyrie and some others iirc, but after they also disappeared - I think george and dream were together for dream's 2 beers and they were with hasan's group getting drunk

sapnap, foolish, karl, tina and quackity were all spotted leaving to join the more public parties, dream and george were no where to be seen that night, but we do know that karl sees dream once at least before he gets his injuries because karl says something along the lines of "last I saw you I told you good night and you looked like you were tucking in for the night and the next day you're all beaten up" karl saw dream before his injuries right before he took his NAP his FIRST sleep of the night I genuinely think your theory about dnf napping together is spot on, and then they had their pizza and went out with hasan and austin 😂

for no.4 I definitely think george asked about the injuries for the stream, he seemed from his mannerism like he knew about it already, karl's reaction was genuine, george's asking about it was just to fill the lull in the convo

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 26 - thoughts.

Hey everyone! A bit later than I anticipated, but it's finally here! The behind-the-scenes for the latest chapter, 26 which you can read here! (and I totally recommend unless you don't mind some spoilers hehe)

Warning: this is not proofread or anything, just as I wrote it, it goes so... excuse me for any weird sentences 😭

Now, without anything else to say, here are my notes:

It's safe to say that this chapter was overdue one, considering that the last time I posted wrote about Hinata's whereabouts and the estate overall, was like over 10 chapters ago 😳

Anyways… let's start from the beginning 😏

Hinata is someone I declared to be very important to her family, as well as to the jujutsu community. Either via her inherited technique, or her overall talent as a sorcerer, there is no denying she's super busy... as well as exponentially stressed.

Because of this, she hasn't been able to get much of her investigation done due to HQ essentially dumping her with job after job: she even tried to get some of her missions transferred, with Ren doubling down on her efforts by filing the request himself to acquire such missions... only to be denied. And it seems that they were both punished by doing so because they've been stuck in an endless loop of jobs. I'm going to give the system the benefit of the doubt, but there is a crisis going on so :^).

Anyways, in between missions, she managed to get some time and meet up with Gojo who basically told her to check Naoya's web history lmao.

Now, after that... that's when Hinata is able to finally let her guard down, although involuntarily if we're being honest, and be more... human. What I believed she needed to be portrayed as!

I really like her character, that's for sure, and more often than not I've thought she's far more interesting than Y/N haha but she's just too perfect.

She's righteous, dedicated, responsible. She always does what's best for everyone without regard to her own personal opinion… but she's still human, and she grew up in a tight-knit family as well as in a society that expected too much from her all the time… I couldn't keep her acting like that when she's facing one of her biggest pains in life.

So this is where her desperation comes through. It was really refreshing, and sad, to see her lose her inhibitions once in a while: she can't sleep, she's barely able to eat without losing her appetite because her mind is somewhere else, and I'm glad to say that were going to see more of that next chapter! Seems like I'm not going to stop torturing poor Hinata 😭😂

Also, I like how… scary she is/became haha. She's always so respectful and humble when she's around the estate, but now that she's been crossed, she's out for blood! hahahahaha even Ren is afraid of getting on her wrong side.

From there… I don't think the estate is genuinely suspicious of what y/n's siblings are planning (going to meet Gojo, and now investigating Naoya)… although they do believe there must be something going on, considering how close they were and just how out-of-nowhere this marriage was—the elders were also informed of the small argument that happened between Hinata and Eiichi many chapters ago so... there's that 😳

Anyways, maybe the clan decided to go through with the marriage because they believed there wouldn't be opposition from the family: Hinata is too righteous to speak against the elders (they think she started to do so thanks to Gojo's influence haha), Ren is slowly distancing from the clan, and Y/N… well, she barely had anything going on for herself before Naoya😭 Eiichi really had to comply to both demands because he had no way to defend them (no, being their father isn't enough. I'm sure they were like: you're a clan leader first, a father second😭)

Well, they miscalculated, and Hinata is out to get them 😂 however, she's very frustrated that no matter what she does, it was never enough, and that she's just insignificant even with the role she represents in the community... she needed someone special to give her solace, someone that would understand her when nobody would... and that's when their father steps in.

I didn't plant on writing this part initially, but as it often happens, I just left the characters to do whatever they wanted and that's what I ended up writing. It was like a continuation of the argument they had before, when Ren stepped in and stopped it from escalating: another overdue scene 😂

I do believe he didn't mention Eiichi at all in order to avoid Hinata getting angry, but no matter what he did, it was just meant to happen 😭 her unresolved issues would eventually show up and that's what occurred.

I'm sure the elders are constantly drilling him to not say anything 💀 because all points considered, this is a highly beneficial marriage to the clan... they probably threatened him with something, as if the Zen'in weren't enough issue as they were, and thus, Eiichi attempted to find solace with the only person who has ever made him feel safe, his wife.

The relationship with Minako, Eiichi and their kids will be explored in the future chapters :> pretty soon actually and it's something I've been wanting to write as well 🤭

Nonetheless... it still sucks that he's unable, or unwilling to do anything. But there's a reason why:

Eiichi attempted to contact his kids before, after the first argument with Hinata. Ren is somewhat... more accepting of him, but either way, when he's around he feels he's not welcomed so he just stopped entirely :'( and after this final argument with Hinata, I don't think he'll ever attempt to do something. I feel bad for him but… well, what can I say?

In the end, he's also in a difficult position. He desires to have his daughter safe and back with him... but there's only so much he could do without pushing the two clans into conflict 💀 the reason why Gojo ain't doing much and why the Kamo's are like nope. Wouldn't want them involved anyways 🙄

Wish he would do more though... but oh well.

And finally… the letters. There's been allot of comments as to what's going on with them, so it was only fair that I respond to that question and show a bit of the context in which the letters are essentially existing 😂

First, we have Hinata, who even though is very, very attentive to what's going on with Y/N, is equally busy with work, as well as acting as if nothing was happening.

Ren, same equation, but he also had a big commitment which he had to suspend… and doesn't live in the estate anymore so as much as he wants to be involved, he can't 😭

Sumire, who is at the estate, and suspects something going on in the background due to the staff and elders' weird behavior (outside of Hinata's intimidation) and has been doing her best to outsmart them. However, because she's not as high ranking or as big of a threat as y/n's siblings, it makes it easier for high ranking members of the family to simply cast her aside and do what they need to do.

Eiichi might also be in this ploy, considering he's too scared to do anything and once said Y/N was probably better off with the Zen'in 😳 so there's that.

The crisis going on in the background, and the stated mail theft that has been going on rampage as of lately. I heavily link it to rogue sorcerers trying to get juicy details on the clans, so if they're tipped that a letter is coming out from the Zen'in estate... 🤐

Or… the worst case scenario, someone got suspicious of Naoaki's relationship with Y/N, noticed their interactions, and subsequently intercepted the letters. But who?

So, I guess I just want to say that it's not as easy as it seems 😭 there's certainly something bigger going on against Hinata (and waaaay bigger with Y/N) and that's what I wanted to portray. Nonetheless, the truth will come out in time :3 so relax, and enjoy the story until then 😂

And that's all for the notes in this chapter! I kept it limited because the next chapter will expand on this one so… 👀 I'm excited for you to read it! It's going to be more of an insight on how I imagine the jujutsu world works when it comes to paperwork (heavily influenced by my country so… beware some nonsense shenanigans haha)

Thank you for reading this chapter and supporting me throughout my hiatus 🥺❤️ it's good to be back ❤️

P.s. if there's something you'd like to know in more detail about things that happened throughout this chapter, please let me know! I'll try to respond with the best of my ability ❤️

Take care, and see you next chapter ❤️❤️

[bangtanfancamp]

𝙷𝚒 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜!

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚒 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 & 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙. 𝙻𝚘𝚕. 𝙸𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢, 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢, 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝟽 ✨ 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢e-- 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝚂𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚊:

•2022 has been a year of massive personal growth for me, and has been hallmarked by leaning into the shapeshifter mutability in myself that I have always been too scared to embrace. I’ve given myself room to really lean into my intellectual and spiritual curiosity and it has been so rewarding, but it has in fact, turned me into the person who will find a way to sneak in the question “when is your birthday?” in casual conversation so I can go home (if I wait that long) and do a deep dive into your natal chart but never tell you😂

•my only concrete goal this year was to try to turn our two bedroom apartment on the fringe of the city into a homey cottage fit for the shire if Hayao Miyazaki had animated it. I’ve made a ton of progress in the past 10 months! DIYing this space has been my biggest creative outlet this year and I’m so proud of it. I can share pics if you guys want to see. I document a good bit of it on TikTok but I’m still a sucker for still images.

•I just celebrated my birthday in October ! 🥳 each year that I age feels more and more like coming home to myself.

•After my unnecessarily dramatic hair saga last year, I am back at home as a brunette. Most of the blonde shattered its way up my hair strands and gave me a chemical cut I never asked for- BUT! - I spent lot of the year learning to be kinder to myself and dealing with complicated emotions tied up in the connection between my hair, my femininity and my self esteem. I got to play with box braids and extensions all summer before finally taking them all out this fall, coloring the brassy fragments on my ends back to black and rocking my now thick and healthy collarbone length hair. I gave myself some curtain bangs and thought “this fall will be my Kiki’s delivery service/ Howl pendragon era.” Turns out this is actually my Noel Fielding era. 😂 I realized last week that Yoongi and I essentially have two versions of the same haircut. After initially having a small crisis about it, I’m instead choosing to interpret as: I, too, am also hot like long haired min Yoongi. 😌 ( I know it’s a stretch. Just let me have it, okay? I need this.) I have also chosen to fully embrace the abundant amount of white hair that has become rampant in my roots this year. I started getting premature white hair at 17 and it has multiplied rapidly this year. Zack lovingly refers to it as my inner Targaryen becoming too strong to hide anymore, and as a diehard Daenerys Targaryen fan, I’ll take it. When I’m having a bad hair day, all the strands of white drape over the black like a frizzy cobweb, but on a good day, it looks pretty dope. I figure the sooner I embrace it, the sooner I have the worlds easiest Storm Halloween costume.

•Lizzie mcalpine and Delaney Bailey have dominated the biggest chunk of my non- K-pop music consumption this year.

•I’m really trying to lean into a soft version of seasonal living. It’s looked a lot like leaning into what feels right for my brain and body as my environment shifts, and for me, fall & winter have been notoriously difficult in the past. But in the last few months, I have been reminded that it is okay to go at my own pace. I rediscovered the benefits of sitting down to do little things and make with my hands. Working with my hands is incredibly grounding for me- it slows my mind and steadies my anxieties. And it makes my daily life more gentle when I have a homemade pastry waiting for me or a small project to enjoy making just for myself that isn’t for other people or their consumption. I’m looking forward to the slowness of fall as someone who’s mind usually races like summer. I’m looking forward to hosting my family’s thanksgiving for the first time and decorating for Christmas. Making stars out of paper or having pastry dough under my nails. I realized I wasn’t doing those small things for myself anymore. I became an artist who spent most of her time consuming other peoples art and forgetting to make my own. I forgot the way it can heal.

•I’ve started reading physical books again! For the past few years, I hadn’t found any that gripped me the way fics on this platform did, and I had so much trouble with my attention span and focus that I struggled to slow myself down enough to read books bound in paper. But this fall, I’ve stumbled on some gems and my gosh, I forgot the tranquility and relief of reading a proper paper novel. The Nature of Witches changed my life and I am currently devouring the invisible life of Addie LaRue. Also can we discuss how much softer on the eyes paper is ? My migraines have been so much less obnoxious and grateful for the break.

•I have become infatuated with the bookbinding TikTok and fell down a rabbit hole recently of people who hand bind their favorite fics into physical novels and I’d REALLY love to take a crack at it soon. With so many people deleting their work here (as is fully their right) there are so many stories that are so precious to me that I’d love to have on a shelf in my studio. And I secretly would love to do it for my own work too. It’s crazy when you realize that people really do supply us with novel length work for free here- it’s wild when you realize the word count of the average ya novel isn’t that different from your favorite multi-chapter fic

•like I mentioned earlier, I both terrified and over the moon to host Thanksgiving this year so if you have any tips, please help 😅 I’ve hosted two friendsgivings before but this will be a little different. Zack’s family is from the Philippines and have never had a traditional American thanksgiving and I’m stressing over impressing them. Thanksgiving is a huge thing filled with tradition for my family, but my grandmother who brought it to life for us passed in 2020. I’m planning to try to recreate her old recipes this year, which I think will be cathartic but will most likely also result in me crying my eyes out in a bowl of potatoes. Thanksgiving brings up a lot of complicated feelings for me because I LOVE the holidays but I have a lot really strongly toxic family power dynamics tied to that day (as I’m sure most of us do) and often the dread of those old things creates a stress in me that’s entirely disproportionate to what’s ACTUALLY happening in the present. My hope is to find a way to extract the beauty of that day and disconnect from the yucky things that still lurk around the edges. I’m excited to form new traditions but I’m still grieving the loss of the old. That version of thanksgiving will never exist again, and that’s hard for me. There are nasty things that I’m glad to see gone, but my stress lies in trying to preserve what was good without dragging the old toxicity into it. Dang, that’s a lot of pressure on some turkey and mashed potatoes 😅

•I won’t dive too much into this point too much because there’s still a lot I’m learning and nothing is concrete yet, but in this past year, Ive learned that there is a very strong chance that I’m neurodivergent. It’s been quite a ride for me. The way it makes certain parts of my story make so much more sense is crazy. It’s created the strangest relief and sense of grace to realize how absurd my expectations of myself have been with a brain that was never intended to do the things I tried to demand of it. Unfortunately, most the few people in my life that I’ve shared this information with have really failed to show up in helping me unpack it. It’s been disappointing but I’m so grateful to have discovered any of this at an age where I’m mature enough to know that their response says more of them than it does about me.

•2022 has been such a bittersweet year to be ARMY. There have been so many weird false starts and so much heavy news alongside such beautiful heartfelt messages from the boys and such amazing new content. So much confusion and deferred hope right alongside new beginnings and a wide open future that we’re all walking into together. All of it has made me mourn for myself but also cheer for them. I’m writing this with “astronaut” by Jin playing in my head on a loop, and it makes my heart soft- for him, for myself, for them, for all of us really. I am still so grateful for all the content they’ve given us. Honestly, I know they have released so much this year alone that I have fallen behind on and old content I haven’t yet watched. There will be plenty to occupy us in the magic shop these next few years. I already admired Namjoon, but this year has increased that tenfold. He has been so wise, so intelligent, so gracious and so brave. I’ve learned so much from him about it means to be an artist. What it means to grow as a person. How change is excruciating but necessary and how to find the beauty in it. His vulnerability breaks my heart and stitches it up all at once. I listen to his art Basel podcast episode constantly and the way he says “ (army) is really special” is etched on my heart permanently. Finding our way through the unknown is so scary, but we’re doing it together in a way and that is one the biggest gifts BTS has ever given us. I will always be grateful to them for it (and just a little bit more in love with them)💜

• And finally, i still have so, so many more stories to share: I’m just the slowest writer. I get so distracted by other projects that I can finish quicker than the monster fics I currently have drafted. 😅 I’m hoping to share an update post soon with the percentages of how close some of these are to being done and how far off others are. I actually tried to share my Jimin graduation fic just a few weeks ago, but after making all my massive annotations to it in tumblr, the app crashed and erased them all. I had to take a lap and cry about it before I could come back to share this. In fact, it did the same thing to me as I made this post today and it nearly broke my heart. Does this kind of crap happen on AO3? Cuz help. Lol. Anyway, should I maybe make shorter stories to share in the meantime? Or make these big fics into multi chapter ones instead? Idk. What do you guys think? I’m spending a lot of time working on my fantasy au Chosen by the moon and really loving where it’s going. I’m so proud of myself for crafting something with a big overarching plot since I usually just extrapolate the emotion of one small scene between two characters into an entire fic. What about you guys- what members and tropes are you wishing to see from me? What stories are you hoping to see finished and what new ones are you excited for? I’m really itching to write something fluffy and romantic but with magic 😛✨ also, do you guys care WHEN things are released- like thematically? Will you read a summer story at Christmas? or a witchy fic in November? Idk. Let a girl know :) lol.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Thank you to everyone who’s stuck around and every new that’s come to join us. If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. I hope you’re all having the best fall.

I love you !💕

[hisfearlesshaz]

hii!! i’m the american anon that wants to move to italy! thank you so much for your input! i saw that you’ve also lived in the Netherlands and that’s a place i’ve also been recently considering as well!! could you tell me a bit about what it’s like to live there? i’ve heard that there’s a bit of a housing shortage as well in Amsterdam recently! do you think it’s difficult to get a job there if you aren’t from there? i also love how people seem to bike everywhere!! i’ve been studying italian for a few weeks because it’s definitely still one of my top choices. my plan is to move to the uk, then eventually make my way over to italy or the netherlands. i feel like that would be a little bit easier for me. did you like living in italy or the netherlands better? i think there will always be cons about every country you go to, but i think i would take the cons of italy, the netherlands, and the uk over the cons of the united states any day lol. thank you!!!! ❤️

Hi!! Glad to help hahah :)))

So! I actually lived in Belgium, not the Netherlands, but I LOVED it. Best six months of my life and I’m not even joking hahaha. I’ve been to the Netherlands and it’s basically the same except for the size because Belgium is reeeeally small. About the size of Maryland but with double the population. The train sister is quite good so you can reach every “big” city in 1h (there are like 3 big cities, so it’s not that hard really hahaha). I lived in Ghent which is in Flanders so they speak Flemish and Dutch (they’re kinda similar but don’t tell anyone I said that) and some also speak French. The weird thing about Belgium is that they have three official languages (French, Dutch, German) depending on the region but as I said to Gina it doesn’t really matter as everyone speaks English. Can’t have a damn private conversation in public ever even though you’re in a foreign country 😂

Belgium is like the less cool sister of the Netherlands but I think it’s very underrated!!!!! They’re very open and welcoming and progressive. Everyone bikes there as well 😂 you have to pay attention because bikes RULE and if you’re on foot you have to stop to let them through (which is absurd to me, being Italian, bc here you see a few bikes and THEY stop lol). Anyway the housing “crisis” is common in both countries, I think. Maybe a bit better in Belgium? Not sure though, sorry 🤷

As for job opportunities, I think it’s easier than in other places (now I’m talking about both countries). They’re very international, and obv it depends on what kind of job you’re looking for an show qualified you are but overall I think there’s a good job offer (my professor once told me that the province I was in had an employment rate of 80% in people aged 20-60). Again, idk anything specific about the Netherlands but I know more than one person that moved there and found a job quite easily compared to Italy.

Now! Moving on to Italy ;))

I can’t say I want to keep living here, honestly. The south is left behind, work is hard to find unless you’re somewhat specialised, the cost of living is levitating and the government sucks. However, we have a history of unstable governments so who knows how long it will last hahah

There are some new awful waves of homo/transphobia and hate crimes + being an ex fascist country that never truly went away completely. However it’s full of people that fucking hate fascists and nazis and manifest their disapproval regarding right wing parties (that are currently governing) and policies. I have to admit that I’m not that much into politics because I’m tiiiiiired of it being always the same shit if not worse and I think this is a widespread feeling (less and less people care and vote so this obviously makes everything get worse 💀).

The transportation is good only in big cities and between them, really. I lived 50km away from uni and it took me TWO HOURS with at least two different means of transportation. Now that I live in the city, though, I can go wherever I want very easily even though I’m in the outskirts. Milan (which is where I live and study haha) is beautiful, but very busy and definitely not the most beautiful city in the country. I like living here though, you have everything you need and more + the cultural scene is quite active and there are always events of any kind. I have to say it’s a bit more clean than, for example, Rome. It’s called the economical capital of Italy so as you can imagine finding a job here is easier than in other places. Many people from the south actually migrate up north to have better job opportunities (which means that the south keeps lagging behind etc etc and it SUCKS because the south is sooo beautiful and the living conditions could be so much better if we had a good government that knew how to handle stuff to use the resources we have ☹️).

So, Milan is good for work and stuff but people are definì less welcoming than the rest of Italy. Everyone is always busy lol. However (it’s fucking sad to say but it’s true) I’m pretty sure that since you’re American and not from somewhere in Africa, South America or Asia.. people would treat better. There’s still this kind of myth about the American dream, you know? I think it’s the remains of our ancestors migrating to America to have better life opportunities (only to be treated as garbage like they threat immigrants here 💀 sometimes I can’t believe how fucking stupid and plainly ignorant some people can be).

I think I also have to mention that Italian bureaucracy is fucking awful. Like. For real. The worst thing ever. It takes ages for the smallest, stupidest things, you still need to do a lot of stuff in person and not online and in general it doesn’t work really well. I have no idea how it works in the rest of the world but I know that it’s been like 9 months since a relative of mine passed away and we’re still waiting for the succession to be done. To make another example: to have the passport you have to take an appointment and the first free slots are usually after at least three months. Then you need to go to that specific place which must be in your province of residence and it takes like 10 mins to sign the docs and let them take them your fingerprints and THEN you wait like two more weeks for it to be ready to be picked up. I swear it’s so!!!!! Frustrating!!!!!!

Now that I read back what I wrote I realised that it doesn’t sound really positive 😂🥲 maybe it’s bc as I said I want to move so I tend to take into consideration all those things that make me wanna go abroad.. Anyway in conclusion I kinda agree with the other anon that messaged Gina. It’s a beautiful place but more like for holidays than for living. In my opinion.

I think that going to the UK is obviously a good choice, but I’m not sure it’s gonna be that easy to go live in the continent afterwards, after the brexit mess and all that. It’s fucked up, really. It was sooo easy before that :((

I think the best option (but, like, I’m no one to tell you what’s best, obviously jdjdjs) is would be to go the the Netherlands or Belgium and from there moving wherever you want. I think it would be way easier since they’re parte of the UE etc. + as I said like ten times they’re very very nice places to live in :))

This has gotten very very long and I’m sorry haha 😅 can you tell I have something to do that I really don’t want to do? Anyway if you have more questions or other stuff you’re curious about feel free to ask!!!

[ebonyslasher]

College Major

Slashers react to various majors that the reader has gone into (pt 1):

Biology

You decided to go with the lesser of the three life science evils and choose Biology. After a bit of a struggle, you found a teacher that explained the basics extremely simply. You end up going down the cell/molecular/genetics route, finding your passion in DNA. You had no intention on going into medical school, since you were tired of hearing about it.

Ok...??

Michael doesn't really care about education.

His education was cut off when he went into Smith's Grove, during his elementary school years.

They tried to give him ‘classes' to keep him caught up.

But, Dr. Loomis was paranoid that any knowledge taught would have him trying to escape or outsmart them.

He was already doing that anyway 🤷🏼‍♂️

Whenever he sees the stuff you study, he reads it out of curiosity.

Michael stops after 1 minute cause it flies over his head.

I mean, he's a naturally smart dude (he guesses) but he knows when he's over his head.

Develops some respect for you after that, considering you're doing well.

He'll hear you over the phone talking through stuff and helping out classmates that don't understand the material.

Michael secretly loves how smart you are, it's a turn on.

Claps for you at your graduation, no mask. It’s not like people know what he looks like anyway.

He's so proud of you, Michael hands you a bloody diamond necklace as a present.

Welding

You decided to go into welding at a local community college that was about an hour away from the camp. It always seemed cool to you, despite people saying that you wouldn't fit in. Out of spite, you joined the program. It was perfect, you could weld at home with all the material Jason accumulated. You focused and developed a serious skill for plastic and wood welding.

Jason thinks you are the coolest person ever.

Other than his mom, of course.

Even though he doesn't understand, he will sit and look through your notes and books.

Asks you to explain welding techniques to him occasionally.

He gladly brings you materials that he finds in abandoned cabins for you to weld. Also, anything from the mass of abandoned cars is yours to play with.

Jason keeps any present you made for him. It's all decorated around his workspace bunker

Jason can't be there at your graduation, but he will do his best to give you a great party afterwards!

He wants you to teach him some welding basics.

That way, you two can weld together!

He welds you some great presents, he definitely shows his artistic flair in them.

Linguistics

Growing up you were bilingual. You dreamed of becoming multilingual. Every time you heard a different language for the first time, you immediately wanted to learn. The language that inspired you the most? The development of AAVE. You wanted a deeper understanding to language, it's rules, and how it affects human comprehension. Even though everything about language is all made up.

Whoaaa. He wishes he could keep up with how many languages you try to speak.

Impressed that you're double minoring in two different languages. He knows he couldn't survive that/

Searches through Netflix to watch foreign shows and movies with you.

He heard some acquaintances making fun of people who speak AAVE and how they are butchering the english language and that it sounds stupid.

You just popped up and said that language is made up anyway, just say you're racist and go🙄

It completely blew his mind and it sent him through a small crisis.

He wants to make up his own language that only you, Billy, and him could understand.

You're into it. It's a lot more work than he thought 😂

Cheers the loudest at your graduation.

[grandpaswagger]

Canvassing, Door-To-Door

Last Saturday, the 7th, I thought that morning while having some coffee when I woke up around 6a. I told myself: your artwork isn't moving too well on the marketplace here on the platform. I finally know the cost of actual shipping charges of what Facebook offers, but it's double the price I know, and I have to protect my artwork with insurance, but this post isn't about that; that will come in another post. **

So last Saturday, not this Saturday that just passed but before. Anyway, I should do some old-school canvassing, door-to-door here where I live, Somewhere Under The Stars, 😂. Being how my lungs are, O² 24/7, I have a portable tank, so; I started getting my portfolio together; to set out on a four-block radius for me to canvass.

I'm venturing now, and I'm stoked to do this; I canvassed around ten houses already. I take a small break, thinking to myself, I sure hope a cop doesn't stop me and ask me what I'm doing?

**(I took the break because even though I'm on oxygen, O² still falls to the lower 80s - upper - 70s range!)*

** "Confessions" 🙈 Or, what if these people I'm canvassing call the cops and tell them a man is going around selling stuff door-to-door because I didn't have any permit to solicit in the community or particulars therein. *A jailable offense here! Exemptions only for spiritual, Christian purposes.*

However, I felt that they wouldn't be around; let's do this! So, I did four more howes, and then I saw this older woman up on her porch, and stopped there at her sidewalk, and said: excuse me, m" am, may I have a moment of our time.

She said as she turned and looked: Oh my, does this bring back some memories of when I was young. I said, I'm sorry m' am; I don't understand!? She said; well, come on up here and have a seat, she paused and said, no, we'll go inside. Would you like some coffee, brisk outside a bit. I said sure I'd have some coffee; why not!?

We went in, and she had a charming home, and it felt so peaceful the moment I walked inside. I went to take my shows off; no need to take your shoes off, young man; you're a guest. Because I saw her take hers off, and I'm being courteous, respectively, taking my shoes off anyway, and she said, aren't you a darling? I snickered; it's proper m' am, manners.

We sat, and she began to explain her comment when I stopped at the end of her sidewalk by the street yet; and asked for some of her time? She goes; when I was growing up, my dad and my grandfather were both artists, and I recognize the portfolio you have with you, so I knew you had something to do with art or you as an artist. I'm amazed how you knew, ironically!

No judgments, child, she said, this pandemic has put our world in a crisis!? I agree! Well, she served me coffee, and she said; I baked some fresh cookies and just took them out of the oven; I began to say no, and she goes, shh, I insist, the holidays and all. I said, well, yes, m' am, I haven't a choice here then, and chuckled as did she. I told her; my favorite cookie at this time of year, freshly baked chocolate chip. I got two BFFs that know this first hand, too! ( smiling here )

But she asked; may I hug you, young man; I am a hugger, and I believe you need a hug?! She goes my grandchildren love my hugs, and I can't hug them enough. Adorable 🥰. Awkwardly sufficient at first, but yet it wasn't; it was a connection from her memories, as the aura was so soothing here in her home, so we hugged one another. 🥰

We were going over my artwork; I have a lot more than I've posted here! So, we talked about each picture, why I gave each image a commentary, how and why I gave the name I had chosen, things like this as we looked; she loved my artwork. But we talked of other subjects as well, as we were going over my portfolio.

She asked about my life: I told her my roots, I told her about my family tragedy, how I plummeted down the rabbit's hole and landed in the abyss facing demons and the cesspools of drugs. "When the decision I made; not wanting to or couldn't keep living on that way, anymore."

Asking God for His help coming home this time, I couldn't do it without him!

How I gave up at this point that dreadful day: before making my decision and passing away, ending up on life support and lost 68% O² to my brain, body. Coming back to join into life again: and that's when I decided when my spirit returned, and the day I went off a machine that kept a shell of an unspirited body, alive.

She told me her age, 82, she is a great grandmother and has 18 great-grandchildren, and I said better you than me, I couldn't imagine having all them great-grandchildren. That's a lot, yikes.

She picked the choices she wanted, which are pictured below. But she said, and she insisted I take her offer, which gave me natural relief inside of accomplishment and that I'm on the right pathway coming back into life from the abysses and of the drugs; that I fell prey upon! I am running from a tragedy instead of facing the fears it brought to me and the mental anguish I suffer from, placing myself in self-convictions.

'"Her name was Gladys, a lovely black woman, mother, grandmother, a great-grandmother, charming, very hospitable, and caring, a loving human being. However, she insisted I take the offer three times the amount I had quoted her. She hands cash to me, she said, and I'm shaking a bit cause I felt it was too much."'

She says; William, you sold yourself short, I think, I know you're worth more than your listing prices, cause my grand-daddy and my father used to tell us children this growing up, and I felt you deserve it for your accomplishment. You're a very talented man with your artwork and your beautiful writing. This is a blessing, and it's coming from my grandfather and father, being artists themselves. It melted my heart, ❤, as a single tear weld up in the corner of my eye, with a sigh of relief.

"I know my artworks worth, my worth, and I know what I want as far as my artistry goes, my writing, and so does God, but very grateful I am for this blessing, from a remarkable woman."

* "Me talking to God: I just thought it was too much money Lord, but I understand now why you gave me the push to do this canvassing! God's reply: my child, you asked for my help, so my angels are placed to help you along on your road home.**

I was at Gladys home just short of 3½ hrs. Last Saturday, the 7th. It was an exceptional, memorable experience, one I will cherish for the days of mine left here. And I know she'll see this, but she wants no publicity! Haha, smile, Ms. Gladys. However long that is! Thank you, and God Bless you 100xfold all your days! ❤ 🕊 💯

I asked her if I could take her picture, and she said I didn't need one, and she's right because she embedded herself with the footprints she left in my heart; I always will remember this woman, Gladys, our roads and beings were meant to meet, and I thank God for placing her there, too! So I asked her if I could at least use her first name, and she chuckled so hard I thought she might fall or pee herself, haha, but she said yes because she knew I was writing this story.

But the last thing she said before I walked down her steps was, William, write as if no one was watching. So I told Ms. Gladys, ironic you said that; because I've written that very phrase in one of my poems, I'm almost sure of it. But, boy, now I will have to read about the last twenty poems to make sure, so I am not telling any mistruths here. I'd be embarrassed 😳 !

Have a Great Day, Everyone!

Best of Wishes,

William Darnell Sr

Credits: Swagger Art Studios' & Poetry

a Division of;

"Writer's, Writing Word's:' being characters"