#so i needed to be able to get SMSs for when i had to leave class and go

[sullina]

i had my phone on vibrate once while in my pant pocket and straight up thought there was a demon clawing at my leg when i got a message, so I'm never doing that one again

[superquarterwater]

“Arigato, [great-aunt’s name]*.  Watashi wa Ryan.”

I FINALLY MADE CONNECTION!  After getting my aunt’s number from the lawyer I was stressed out with the question, “How the hell am I going to communicate that I am coming and want to see her?  I don’t speak Japanese and she does not speak English!”.  I had spent the week before calling a myriad of restaurants for a reservation after the Japanese Mountain Day holiday, so I knew how to make calls to Japan.  I just knew I had to be on 3-way with a translator and was not sure how my phone would support that.  I had got the number so fast that I didn’t have the time to think through what I would do with the number.

I thought of asking a former manager, but one of the reasons I was leaving my job was because of her, so I ruled asking her for anything, especially something this personal and important to me OUT!  I’ve got a big ego, what can I say.  I was also confident that I could find someone else who I was comfortable sharing this complicated familial history with.

My job has a map that everyone in the company can pin to identify their hometown.  I looked for the Japanese on that map and found a coworker.  I reached out to him but he was not going to be available for another three days.  Time was of the essence since I was going to be leaving the next week.  I also did not want to weird out a colleague I didn’t know.  No need to bring anyone else in the drama!

I then thought of bringing in the lawyers who gave my mom my great-aunt’s contact, but ruled that out once my mother said that they spoke very little English.

I even tried texting my great-aunt’s number and leveraging Google Translate, but discovered online that accepting international SMSs had to be manually configured on my great-aunt’s phone.  She is around 60 or 70 and presumably not tech-savvy, given that she does not have an email, so I ruled this out.

Then it hit me!  My former classmate who I still have contact with and speak with every once in a while who knows I am going to Japan and that I plan to reconnect with family while I am there studied abroad.  I asked him via text during work hours and he texted back immediately that his Japanese was not great as he had not used it in years but that he would be willing to prepare and do his best.

I called him.  Shared the story of our family history and what I wanted to communicate to my great-aunt briefly and attempted to call my great-aunt on three-way.  

“Arigato, Toshiko.  Watashi wa [my name].”

“[my name]!”  

I do not remember what my great-aunt said after that, but I do remember her being excited.  I do remember asking if she knew English to which she laughed and responded, “No English.”

That’s when I tagged in my old classmate.  The three-way call worked!

“Hey [former classmate’s name].  You can go ahead.”

He began and what commenced was something beautiful.  It was the moment I had been dreaming about forever.  I did not care that I was at work, who was around me.  I was one step closer to reconnecting with my Japanese family, something I have not done since I was eight years old and my great-aunt visited my family in Los Angeles at our house and gifted me a fur coat and hair clips.  She did not know English back then either.

We agreed on a date and time and said thank you and bye to eachother a million times.  So much so that, despite my excitement, thought, “Alright!” and had to hang up.  The conversation went about 30 minutes and my jaws hurt from smiling so much.  I felt so relieved and regained hope that I was going to be able to go to Japan and do what I had always dreamed.

*Name removed to protect identities

[phati-sari]

Eight reasons why I NOPE out of a story on the first page

These are not aimed at any one writer, I just wanted to share what turns me away from a story after getting an ask about writing advice.

A lot of this has to do with my biases and unique weirdness.

1. The story is entirely centre-aligned. Or entirely italicised. Or has no paragraph breaks. Or is in all caps.

Why!? Just ... why?

2. The story is in text speech

Text-speak isn’t even necessary in SMSs anymore, it’s a hangover from an era where a 160 character text used to cost over 50c (yeah I’m showing my age). 

It’s definitely not necessary in a story.

3. I think the characters are out of character (OOC)

This one is very personal. I like to keep my characters as close to the canon as possible. I sometimes agonise over the smallest changes in dialogue and plot because I know the characters wouldn’t do/say certain things.

This means that I also enjoy stories that stick to the canon interpretation of the characters. Some authors take liberties in ways that I can get on board with but this is rare.

Related: The characters don’t sound like themselves. On the surface this is Khushi referring to her parents as “Mom” and “Dad”, Arnav referring to his sister as “Didi”, and Aakash referring to Arnav as “Arnav”. But more deeply this is authors writing dialogue without considering how the characters speak -- they just write it however they normally speak, with “hai na?” “yaar”, “and tell me no” thrown in whenever they want. For me, Arnav speaks simply, succinctly, and with a wider vocabulary than Khushi, who in turn speaks emotionally rather than clinically.

4. The author used the thesaurus feature but clearly doesn’t know what the words mean

I realise this is biased towards native English speakers, and I’m trying to change it, but it snaps me out of a story almost instantly if people use words that they obviously don’t understand the meaning of.

I enjoy simplicity in a story. There’s no needed for a wide vocabulary in fanfiction, we’re not getting graded :)

5. The author is clearly present in the story

I know some people love this. They want to hear the author’s voice, they want the story to be narrated by the author and to have quotes and quips and quirky little observations. 

I don’t like it.

Some people write their stories by typing it out as they’d narrate it to a friend at a bar -- “and then you know, Khushi didn’t actually know Arnav was right behind her but he was! Oh she was so embarrassed!”.

In my view, my job as a writer is to tell you the story and then disappear from it. It should flow naturally and seamlessly, and you should come out of the experience without being able to distinguish between the canon and my imagination.

6. The author has confused a narrative with a script

Plays, screenplays, and scripts are written like this:

Setting: Shantivan, after midnight. Moonlight streams across the two figures on the bed. Khushi: Wake up Arnav-ji! Arnav: Mpppfff. Sleeping. Leave me alone.

Narratives are written like this:

“Wake up Arnav-ji!” Khushi shook her husband.

It was after midnight, and a brilliant idea had just occurred to her. Her husband, however, wasn't in the mood to listen.

“Mpppfff,” he groaned, rolling over, “Sleeping. Leave me alone.”

I can see how the first example might be easier for a first time writer, but I find it offputting.

7. The tense is not consistent.

I don’t mean small mistakes in tense that are easily overlooked. I’m talking about tense changes every paragraph because the author never learnt the difference between past and present tense.

This is the difference between “Khushi ran to the door” and “Khushi runs to the door”. 

Pick a tense and stick to it as best as you can :)

Related: The narration point of view isn’t consistent. You generally have the choice between first (“I”), second (“you”), or third (“s/he”). Narratives are usually conveyed in either first or third, but people experiment with second as well. Between first and third, there’s the difference between “I ran to the door” and “she ran to the door”.

8. The author didn’t proofread or edit the story, and then went out of their way to tell me that.

I understand that people get really excited about their stories and want to share them ASAP. I also respect when authors are honest when they haven’t edited and/or proofread their stories. 

But I usually don’t have the energy to devote to things that haven’t at least been spellchecked and proofread. I think a reader’s time needs to be respected.

I’ve written a series of posts about my writing process, in case anyone is interested :)