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#so im rereading young x rush fics right now and i will try to remember the titles and put them in my bookmarks
aenslem · 2 months
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aslkjdlasjf THIS GD SHOW, argh. i just finished season one, which i thought was a good idea, you know, finish the season before taking a break. *facepalms* i have those annoying things to do again (stupid household chores, every gd day you gotta do things), so it'll be a few hours before i can watch more, but i should be able to watch at least one or two more episodes today, so HOPEFULLY things will be a bit more resolved by tonight x'D
you were so right, there is so much happening, and i think EVERYONE on that gd ship needs a few years vacation after all this x'D
"married divorced remarried and divorced again and still having feelings for each other" asljdalksjda that is so correct, they are just that x'D
it's so fun, they're like "i don't trust him" pretty much all the time, and then Rush is like "so i had a dream" and Young is like "ok, i'll call General O'Neill" and they keep relying on each other so much right now, it's great, and Young risking the whole gd ship to save Rush, after having tried to kill him, what, twice already? amazing ❤
ah, yes, fanfiction ❤ it's so good at casting light on things from different angles, i love that, seeing characters and their motivations from all kinds of different point of views. though, you gif makers do that too and i love it, it's so great to look at different gif makers in the same fandoms and see how you focus different things.
right now i'm pretty exclusively reading McShep fics, but we'll see how that looks once i'm done with sgu x'D if you have any recs, please feel free to share!
btw, i've been trying to remember why i followed you from the start, and i'm pretty sure it's Star Trek, and specifically Spones, which, ALL MY LOVE! but i also want to mention how much i love following someone who gifs a lot of women, i love having more women on my dash! i never finished OUaT back in the days, but all your Regina and Swan Queen gifs are making me want to, and your Michelle Gomez gifs, waah, i do not want to watch CAoS! 😭 but you are kicking me in the butt about finishing Doctor Who too with your gifs of her (i sadly miss most of them though since i have it blacklisted for spoilers), i had no idea she was in it but man did that make me want to watch it when i found out!
okay, sorry that this got so long, even when i'm trying to keep things brief i end up being very wordy. so many things to say!
anyway, i'm gonna go do the things now, the sooner i get them done the sooner i can watch more sgu =D oh, wait, no, you posted something from 1x18 last night! i didn't look at it since i hadn't watched it yet, so i'm gonna go do that first! =D ❤
/Rodney anon
Oh don't be sorry , you can get wordy in my inbox whenever you like :3
You're fast! but why am I surprised, I finished 7 seasons of OUaT in a month lmao.
Well, imagine how it was for those who were watching sgu when it was actually airing, they did not have a chance to go and watch s2 right after s1, and you can :D so other things are not as bad as break between seasons of the show, but yeah, there's always things to do, sucks
askjhdaksjhd 'i just had a very interesting dream' scene is so good, and it so much better when you take it out of context lmao
well, they have to work together, they don't have a choice. you know how things were when he left rush on that planet, eli is smart, and eli was also right
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but eli is still not good enough to do all the work, so no matter how much they don't trust each other, they have to work things out and work together and then finally going towards trust and comradery
well, at least they will try lmao
SPONES!!!!!!! SPOOOONEES! they are everything to me!!!!!
well, if you finish ouat and start caos... I am so sorry in advance lmao
I am not sure I can even explain what mess of the shows are those two, I have similar feelings towards both shows, I love the cast, I love some characters, I love women there, I hate the writers :D
Michelle is stunning in caos, there's also Miranda Otto, and they are like my moms, I love them, this show is worth watching just to look at them, but there's also... the rest of the show and plot asjkhdakjdh
same goes for ouat tbh, some characters are great and actors are doing such a good job and then there's whatever was happening in the show, but it;s still fun if you don't take it all seriously.
you will facepalm a lot and you will have an urge to rip your hair out sometimes, but if you try caos, I will give you two good reasons for it
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that's it, think about it
okay, but you definitely need to watch doctor who, WATCH DOCTOR WHO!
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taesthetes · 7 years
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the universe of us.
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“I love you.” — “I know.”
pairing: jeon jungkook x reader | kim taehyung x reader genre: slight comedy, angst, fluff type: dream / fantasy / slice of life au word count: 21,112 words warnings: none author’s note: thank you to the true mvps @zephyoongist​, @gukstudio, and @syubits for all their aggressive motivation through means of screaming at me to continue dragging myself through this wild ride until the completion of this nightmare monstrosity. the italicized quote mentioned in this was said by dr. suess. i wrote this while listening to this song, and this fic is also inspired by the only two japanese films i’ve ever watched: “your name” and “five centimeters per second.”
nefelibata : (noun) lit. “cloud-walker”; the one who lives in the clouds of their own imagination or dreams
The story of Icarus tells of a naive being who loved the sun and flew too close, leading to his untimely descent into the ocean. But what the tale didn’t speak of was how the sun and the moon fell in love with him, too. And with the pull of the tides due to the attraction of the sun and the moon, he tosses and turns, torn between two entities.
So if Kim Taehyung embodies the sun, then Jeon Jungkook is the moon.
And you are Icarus.
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In a realm of pointless illusions and shadows of reality, dreams are not something you tend to dwell over. Some say it is within dreams where your selfish desires, wants, hopes, and subconscious manifest into a tentative form. As a lucid dreamer, you absolutely enjoy delving into illusions of roaming the boisterous halls of Hogwarts or taking flight into the air as you stretch your fingers out and almost touch the second star to the right.
You never actively try to find the hidden meanings behind the imagined moments that play beneath your eyelids and find purchase within the secret crevices within your mind. There simply is no point in doing so when they are not seen as an escape from reality because you are more than satisfied, daresay happy even, with the way your life is.
You found happiness within a circle of trustworthy and wonderful friends, a stable and amazing job that you actually do not dread going to in the morning, a beautiful and spacious apartment, and to top it off, a very cute and lovable dog named Soonshim whom you are a proud parent of with your boyfriend. More so, after all, you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. And you are completely head over heels for a certain Kim Taehyung.
But then you find yourself slipping between the stratums of real and make-believe, existence and reverie, day and night under the guise of slumber and fantasies, thrown headfirst into an entirely new life that leaves you confused and chasing after something—or rather, someone—who is more than just silly daydreams and butterflies.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The spacious area you are standing in is so tastefully decorated with a warm, yet minimalistic look. A comfortable, ebony L-shaped couch is pressed against the wall with a simple matching coffee table in front of it along with a large flat screen television fashioned against the wall along with a full sound system installed. A black bookcase is against the wall with a potted plant stands in the corner along with a keyboard and a guitar finding residence in the other corner of the room. The soft, ivory colored carpet beneath your bare toes feels like absolute heaven. There is a small hallway that most likely leads to several bedrooms and bathrooms.
There is no divider between the living room and the kitchen area. You have a full view of the beautiful state of the art kitchen space with white cupboards, marble countertops, and black wood island counter complete with elegant bar stools. The wall with the flat screen fashioned to it separates the living room and the dining room, which is adjacent to the kitchen area. A black dining table set with six cushioned chairs is behind the wall.
Turning around, you are staring in awe at the absolutely breath-taking city view courtesy of the floor to ceiling glass windows. Wanting a better look, you go over and slide open the glass door, stepping out onto the balcony, which houses two lounge chairs, a small patio table set, and various pots of vibrant, blooming flowers. The cityscape knocks the air out of your lungs as your jaw drops, and you take in the vivacious, bustling streets below and the tall buildings that poke a hole in the cloudless, endless azure span of the sky.
To put it lightly, it is a dream house. Or a gorgeous penthouse found on the nineteenth floor, to be more specific. You are feeling absolutely giddy, dancing around happily for a few seconds, before rushing inside once more to explore the rest of the home. But you come to an unexpected halt, a scream bubbling out from your throat. You are entirely disconcerted when your gaze is shockingly met with a rather unfamiliar pair of eyes: kind, dark brown, doe-like ones.
An unbelievably attractive stranger, judging to be approximately the same age as you, stands in the entrance of the hallway, completely startled by the shriek. His black hair is slightly tousled, and he is casually dressed in a pair of dark gray sweats and a loose black shirt that dips low enough to see his well-defined collarbones. The young man reaches out for you, but stops when you let out a small squeak, having backpedaled and now feeling your back touch the bookshelves behind you.
“Babe, are you alright?” he asks, concerned. His eyes widen, and you almost drown in the intensity of his gaze.
“Wha—I, who are you?” you stammer out, keeping your eyes trained the unfamiliar male in front of you.
His eyebrows furrow in confusion before he opens his mouth to speak.
“I’m Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend.”
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You jolt awake, eyes wide open as they begin to adjust to the darkness. Your breathing steadies out, shaky puffs of air escaping between your parted lips, as your dream is still so vividly painted in your mind as it was on the back of your eyelids mere moments ago. Taehyung sleeps soundly next to you, his arm comfortably slung over your torso as he clings to you.
You feel flustered, dreaming about another man—someone who is not the one currently by your side and a complete stranger no less—being your significant other. You hurriedly shove away any thoughts of the man in your dreams. Turning onto your side to face Taehyung, you carefully brush away the strands of his brown locks away from his eyes, and his nose scrunches up subconsciously. Smiling to yourself, you press a light kiss to his nose before snuggling up against your boyfriend. Closing your eyes, you try to fall asleep again.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
You cannot believe it. You are back in the same exact place as before.
"What the heck?" you mumble to yourself before carefully making your way across the carpet and towards the bookcase. You let out a small chuckle when you notice all seven books of the Harry Potter series lined up neatly on one of the shelves. A few unlit candles and small succulent plants are placed here and there. But what you look at more closely are the neatly framed photographs set on the shelves. All of them are images of you and him. There are one or two candid shots of you alone or solo pictures of him, but the majority are photos of the two of you together. 
Mouth agape, you can only stare at the visual evidence of your supposed relationship with this man. You brush your fingers against the cool, clear glass covering a photograph of him piggy backing you somewhere at the beach. The both of you are grinning widely as your head is thrown back in mid laugh while he is looking back at you with one of the prettiest, purest smiles you have ever seen. Of course, his smile cannot even hold a candle next to Taehyung's, but still, it is quite nice, you have to admit.
Your eyes catch on the phone that was thrown carelessly on the couch. You would recognize your phone case with the decorating cats and pancakes stickers on the back anywhere. Snatching it up quickly, you quickly look around to make sure your supposed boyfriend is nowhere to be found before turning on your phone. A picture of the most adorable, fluffiest golden Pomeranian dog is set as your lock screen, and you almost die from the sheer overload of cuteness, becoming starry eyed over the image for a few seconds before remembering your initial intention.
Fumbling with the phone and clumsily hitting out the passcode in your haste, you quickly click on the messaging app, finding the names of all your friends listed there, including one Jungcocky with a bunny emoji and bicep emoji. Picking out Taehyung’s name quite easily due to the slew of hearts and dog emojis he himself had put there no doubt, you tap out a text.
[12:31 pm] you: hey where are you
[12:31 pm] taetae: im bored
[12:31 pm] taetae: im in some stupid meeting and its a SATURDAY save me D: >_< ;-;
Quietly laughing to yourself, you cannot help but smile when you are reminded by his excessive use of emoticons.
[12:32 pm] you: ew gross )); late lunch date later? craving ice cream
[12:32 pm] taetae: asjffs i can’t )’:
[12:32 pm] taetae: go with kook this time
[12:32 pm] taetae: havE FUN WITH UR LOVER <3333
Fingers frozen and still hovering over the keyboard, your heart drops and gets buried six feet under when your eyes flit over his latest message that confirms it all.
[12:33 pm] taetae:  AND I JUST BOUGHT AN ISLAND HOW COOL IS THAT???? :D
“What the actual fuck,” you whisper out, forehead wrinkling as you squint and reread the latest message Taehyung sent you over and over again. You laugh in disbelief. “He just bought an island?!”
“Are you talking about Tae?” Jungkook suddenly appears beside you, plopping down on the couch and slinging an arm over your shoulders, and you almost suffer from a heart attack. Shrugging his arm off, you scoot over a few inches away from him, still very wary of this strange man.
“Christ, are you a ninja or something? Make some noise before you come into a room or something,” you exclaim, and he smirks back at you. “And yeah, he apparently bought an island in the middle of his meeting.”
Jungkook snorts, “Of course, he would.”
“What? Where does he get the money for that?!”
Jungkook looks at you curiously. “His startup company, remember? His chip took off, and he’s working with Apple and Samsung to start putting it in their phones and stuff.”
Frozen, you can only stare down at the phone still nestled in your hands. A small, proud smile forms on your face as you look down adoringly at the small contact icon of Taehyung beaming back at you, a signature V hand sign completing his image.
“He made it.”
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Soft kisses are pressed all over your face, and you slowly open your eyes. The early rays of sunlight filtering through the filmy curtains cast odd shapes and shadows over the comforter. Taehyung grins down at you, head resting in his hand as he lays on his stomach next to you. Giving him a mischievous glance, you loop your arms around his neck and tug him down, and he lets out a small yelp before laughing freely. Returning the affection, you place tiny kisses along his jawline before making a line down from his forehead to his chin, purposely skipping his lips to which he lets out a whine. Giggling, Taehyung scoops you into his arms, flopping onto his back and pulling you into his chest before kissing you gently on the mouth.
“We have to get up for work,” he sighs, his baritone voice deeper than usual in the morning. “I’m still working on the microchip, and we’re trying out another coding process for it. We have everything written and planned out, but if we can just perfect this code, the chip will be able to add another thirty extra gigabytes to any phone.”
A quick flashback to your dream last night brings the tiniest of smiles to your face.
“You’ll get it, Tae. I know you will.” Snuggling your head under his chin, you trace invisible patterns on his chest, enjoying the early moments of the day you have with him. The days are long and spent apart from each other; the quiet moments that occur before the city wakes itself are the ones that mean the most. He hums softly in response, the rumblings reverberating in his chest.
“And how’s your work going?” he asks quietly, hand weaving through the tangled ends of your hair.
“They gave me my first big shot client to work with, so I may have to come home late tonight. I really need to seal the deal with this client as fast as possible,” you answer, letting out a sigh. “My previous clients were more of minor companies. They were super satisfied with the product designs I came up with, so the company is trusting me with a bigger client pool now with more important clients.”
“Should we move our dinner plans to nine then?” Taehyung’s hands find yours, and he stretches your interlocked fingers towards the ceiling, admiring the way his hands envelop your smaller ones like a safety net.
“Only if you’re willing to try and make pasta from scratch with me that late,” you laugh, clasping onto his hand tightly. One squeeze. Four squeezes. Three squeezes. It was an unspoken “I love you” that conveys the same amount of emotions, if not more, without needing to move your lips.
“Anything for you, sunshine.”
“Great, I can’t wait to see your latest plating skills.”
“Hey, ‘Squirrel Locked in Garden’ was my pièce de résistance that only true artists can appreciate.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
You find yourself standing in front of the counter this time with an unopened carton of your favorite ice cream set in front of you and the utensils drawer opened. Quickly taking out a spoon and pulling off the lid of the pint, you scoop out a hefty amount and almost moan as the first taste of the sweet goodness. Hey, if your dream gives you ice cream, you are never going to question it. A quiet jingling captures your attention, and a nudge to your leg has you looking down in surprise. The very same dog from your lock screen peers up at you, yapping excitedly.
"Oh my god, dog." Immediately, you put down the food to kneel down and pet the furry animal, squealing as it comes up and places its paws on your knees, tail wagging furiously. The jingling sound makes an appearance again, and you carefully grasp at the small tag hanging from its collar.
"Cookie," you read aloud, smiling widely as the dog nearly jumps into your arms and nuzzles your face.
"You called?"
With a small squeal, your head snaps up to see the same man from before, leaning against the wall, with an amused expression on his face.
"What?" You blink, staring at him—Jungkook if you remembered his name correctly—in confusion. You are a bit wary, hugging the dog tighter to your chest. Sure, you can trust any new dog in a nanosecond, but someone you never met before? Never.
He tilts his head to one side in a way very much similar to the cute dog in front of you that is cocking its head to one side as well. "You sometimes call me that. Kookie."
"Oh." You scrutinize the man who is supposedly your boyfriend.
"Should I be flattered that you still shamelessly check me out even after all these years?" Jungkook smirks, striking a greatly exaggerated model pose, and you cannot help but let a tiny laugh come out. But then you realize what he just said and—
"After all these years?" you echo his last words in bewilderment.
"Yeah, you've been stuck with me for a whopping eleven years since the start of high school." Grinning, he crosses his arms over his chest and damn, if you did not notice how defined his arms were before, you certainly did now.
You study him quietly, mentally noting down all your observations. He is dressed in another pair of loose sweat pants, but they are black this time, and a white shirt drapes onto his shoulders. His ebony hair is combed out better than before, but still retains a sort of wavy style. His nose slopes down slightly, leading to his mouth, cupid’s bow curving, forming into a mischievous smirk when he notices you are still staring at him, eyes crinkling in the corners.
But then, the thought of your actual boyfriend comes to mind, and you blurt out, "What about Tae?"
A look of surprise crosses his face. "Taehyung? What about him?”
“Where is he?” you ask in desperation, and confusion contorts his face.
“Uh, he’s probably at his house? I'm not really sure." His lips quirk into a teasing smile. "But I'm surprised you asked since you've been his best friend way longer than I have. If you have no idea, then how would I?"
Your heart nearly stops in your chest at this. Even if you already learned this before, it still does hurt. Why is Taehyung your best friend only? What about being your boyfriend? Why isn't he your boyfriend here? Wrapped up in your thoughts, you bite your lip, contemplating and tapping the spoon against your mouth lightly. Jungkook strides over to pick up the remote control, turning on the flat screen and video game console. Cookie wriggles out from your hands and pads over to the couch, jumping up and circling a few times before settling down.
"Super Smash Bros Brawl?" Startled, you look over at Jungkook comfortably sprawled out on one side of the couch, holding one controller in the air out towards you. You stay silent, contemplating your choices: should you make a run for it or should you sit down and play video games with some delusional man who calls himself your boyfriend?
"Afraid that I'll kick your ass this time?" Jungkook asks, grinning widely, and that completely settles it for you, flaring up that competitive streak in you. You grab the ice cream carton, spoon still stuck in it, and march over to where he sits.
"Hand over that controller."
Plucking it from his grasp, you sit down on the other end of the couch, Cookie immediately coming over to snuggle down in your lap, and you pet the dog happily with one hand as you flick through the various animated characters on the screen, finally settling for Zelda and Sheik.
"Darn dog never gives me any affection. Does he even know who he’s named after anyway?" Jungkook mutters, pouting, and you crack a smile at his words while you expertly maneuver your way around the battle ground, toggling back and forth with Zelda.
He is different from Taehyung, you silently observe. Taehyung usually lets you win even though you insist on playing fair and square. Your naturally competitive nature had become dormant over the years, but playing with Jungkook has caused it to reappear. Executing every move and play with ease, you battle against his character with more vigor than you usually do. And begrudgingly, you admit to yourself silently that you are enjoying yourself.
It is merely a dream, you reason in your head, momentarily distracted, and Jungkook lands a critical hit. Letting out a victory whoop, he smashes your character out in sudden death. Shaking your head, you let out a laugh before pressing the start button again, determined to win the next round.
Again, it is only a dream. You are simply playing a video game with someone. This is something you do with a friend. Who is a boy. And is supposedly your boyfriend. He seems harmless enough.
Plus, he is only a figment of your imagination after all.
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Exhausted from staying overtime, you trudge down the hall and towards your and Taehyung’s shared apartment, slotting your key and twisting it before opening the door and walking in. Kicking off your kitten heels and placing them neatly by the door, you walk into the kitchen, only to find your boyfriend standing with what looks like a lumpy ball of dough in his hands, a splotch of flour on his cheek that goes unnoticed by him. He is focused on kneading out the dough, still unaware of your presence, the tip of his tongue sticking out in concentration.
Unable to stop yourself from smiling, you lean against the fridge, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well, hey there, hot stuff. What are you making?”
With a yelp, Taehyung looks up, wide eyed. “You’re home already? I was going to surprise you with pasta I made because I knew you were going to be tired and—”
“God, I love you so much.” At his explanation, your heart swells a hundredfold before you stride over to him and kiss him on the mouth quickly before leaning away, brushing off the stray flour on his face affectionately. Crimson blooms on his sun kissed cheeks as he grins happily at you.
“I made another masterpiece for you! It’s in the fridge,” he pipes up, still beaming widely.
“Oh, really? I don’t know if anything can top your squirrel one though,” you tease, making your way to the fridge and opening it. “Well, I stand corrected.”
“It’s called ‘Fish Stuck in Sea’!” states Taehyung gleefully as you pull out his latest food art.
“Wow… I just… wow, Tae. I don’t know what to say,” you say seriously, keeping up a straight face for a few more seconds, before finally breaking out into giggles. “It is truly an original beauty.”
“I know, right?” Taehyung says proudly, abandoning the dough, before going over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist, your back pressed against his chest as he rests his head on your shoulder. The both of you admire his chef-d'oeuvre, identical smiles on your faces.
Taehyung had made Jell-O, brightly colored with blue food dye with the use of a Bundt cake tin. He had stuck goldfish crackers in the Jell-O here and there, letting it harden in the refrigerator before flipping the tin onto a fancy cake stand.
“Amazing, Tae… Should we eat it now?”
“… Yeah. I really only made it because I was craving Jell-O.”
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The pasta came out perfectly, and the two of you had a pleasant dinner filled with funny office stories, and recounts of daily mishaps. After cleaning up, Taehyung chose a Studio Ghibli movie to watch. After turning on the television set and putting in the disc, he jumps onto the bed, patting the spot next to him for you. As you slip under the covers, Taehyung pulls you to his chest, bodies tangled together. Aside from quiet murmurs and occasional soft giggles, the only sounds came from the screen in front, the two of you quietly enjoying your time together.
When the credits roll onto the screen, Taehyung lazily turns off the television set. Setting the remote back on the nightstand, he settles down in bed again and presses a soft kiss to your forehead as you snuggle closer to him.
“Good night, sunshine. I love you.”
“G’night, Tae. I love you.”
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The penthouse is silent.
Clutching Cookie to your chest, you peek into every room, making sure Jungkook or anyone in general is not hiding anywhere. During your search, you discovered an art room. After making an entire round around the large apartment, you return to the space turned art studio. Gently placing Cookie down on the floor, you gaze at your surroundings as the dog heads straight for a small nest of pillows in the corner, jumping straight onto them and settling down.
The area is basked in the natural light coming from the ceiling to floor windows. On the one side, there are graphite pencils and ink markers scattered across the surface of the desk. A haphazardly stacked array of sketchbooks is teetering on the edge of the table. Several different models of cameras line up against the wall on the desk, and many photographs are tacked up on the wall. Taking a step closer to see the images, your breath is abruptly stolen from you when your eyes roam over the pictures. A door is next to the desk, a paper with the words ‘dark room’ scrawled in an unfamiliar handwriting taped on it.
With one glance over the other half of the room, you immediately know it is yours. An easel is set up next to the windows, an unfinished painting of the landscape below covering part of the canvas. A carefully compiled collage of graphite sketches and various water colors make its home on the wall in front of the desk. Colored pencils are positioned neatly in their boxes, like little soldiers standing in line and ready for duty. Tubes of paint decorate the top edge of the desk. A canvas heavily splashed with a myriad of hues sits in the bottom right corner of the desk to dry, and the once colorful palette now devoid of any vibrant splatters has returned to its position next to the colored pencils. A recycled glass decorated with the very same paints rests in the desk’s upper left corner, filled with varying types of graphite. Another glass holds ink pens. The last one carries paintbrushes. A sketchbook is flipped open to a fresh page in the center of the desk.
Excitedly walking over to the desk, you take a seat and stare down at untainted paper, a plethora of ideas already bursting from your mind and wanting to inch its way onto the ridged paper in front of you. Perhaps a still life of a gerbera daisy will dance its way onto the sheet. Or maybe a paper white narcissus will come to life, or possibly, you will draw a hand. Painting an exaggerated self-portrait sounds tempting as well. A small bark from the Pomeranian in the corner causes an idea to bloom in your mind, and you start to draw, stealing glances at the dog every once in a while.
Forty minutes later, you have a completed sketch of Cookie sprawled on the cushions. Satisfied with your finished artwork, you take a tape dispenser with you as you amble over to the relaxing dog. Crouching down, you carefully tape up the drawing on the wall at Cookie’s eyelevel.
“There. Now you have something in your art corner as well,” you say, admiring your drawing. “Do you like it, Cookie?”
“That’s cute as fuck.”
With a yelp, you flail slightly and fall on your bottom, causing Jungkook to chuckle from the doorway. Wide eyed and mouth open comically, you stare at him in surprise from the floor, which makes him laugh even harder.
“Need help getting up?” He smirks, eyes crinkling in the corners, and you scramble to stand up.
“No, I’m fine, thank you.”
“I got your favorite takeout for dinner. It’s on the table.” He disappears from the doorway, walking to the kitchen. Your favorite takeout? Does he know it? Even Taehyung sometimes doesn’t know it because you change it every week or so and has to call you to check. Curious, you make your way to the kitchen as well, Cookie following behind you.
When you see the tell-tale bag of the burger place down the street, you are somewhat impressed. How did he even know that was what you wanted? Okay, but surely, he could not have gotten your order correct.
“Cheeseburger with grilled onions, pickles, mustard grilled patty, and extra sauce? And an order of animal style fries and a Neapolitan milkshake?” he speaks up, and your jaw drops. How did he even—
“I overheard you talking to Tae about wanting a burger earlier.” He gives you a sheepish smile. “And you ordered that when we went there a while ago, so I figured…”
“I—thank you.” You stumble over your words, still in disbelief. You sit down on the bar stool adjacent to his.
His smile widens before he steals a fry from you amidst your protests. “You’re welcome.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Sitting in your friend’s apartment for a movie night, you wrap your arms around a pillow, squeezing it to your chest. Ann returns from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn and a few bags of various junk food. Rys follows behind, clutching onto an apple juice for you and three fizzy drinks for her, Ann, and Elle. Dumping the food and drinks onto the coffee table, the two of them sprawl out onto the couch. Elle chooses to sit on the floor next to the table because “The closer to food, the better.” You opt to sit in the armchair, curling up as you hug the pillow with a blanket thrown over your legs, mind wandering back to the dreams that have been plaguing you the past month. Every night, you had a different dream, but they all revolved around him, some taking place in the here and now, while others reveal new bits and pieces of your supposed relationship from first dates to prom night to college outings.
“What do you think they’re all doing?” Rys wonders aloud, and Ann snorts, “The boys? They’re all at Taehyung and _______’s apartment probably playing a bunch of video games and screaming at the screen.”
“God, if they’re playing Mario Kart and Jin loses, he’s gonna come home so sulky,” sighs Elle, shaking her head.
“Good thing Hobi isn’t that competitive over video games,” Ann laughs before turning on the flatscreen and pulling up Netflix. “What are we watching tonight?”
“Oh god, anything but horror.” Elle shudders as she reaches for her soda. Grabbing a bag of cheese crackers, Rys agrees, “Something funny would be good. A rom-com?”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Ann turns to you. “Any suggestions, _______... _______? Hey, you there?”
Rys reaches over, waving her hand in front of your face slightly, and you break your chain of thought. “What? Sorry, I kind of spaced out.”
Elle looks at you, worried. “You’ve been doing that lately. Is everything okay?”
You hesitate, fiddling with your fingers. Should you tell them? Would they think you are crazy or overthinking it? You already think you are going crazy over these dreams. But the thoughts of keeping the dreams to yourself have been driving you insane, consuming your mind every minute as you ponder over every nightly fantasy down to the smallest detail. It has gotten to the point that when Taehyung does something, you immediately compare him to Jungkook. And you absolutely hate that, your stomach churning and mind uneasy that you keep making comparisons between your boyfriend and someone who is not real.
“I’ve been… having some dreams,” you admit, twisting the edge of the blanket around your finger anxiously.
“You mean, like scary nightmares?” questions Rys.
“Or… naughty dreams?” Ann winks at you. You immediately launch the pillow in your hands at her, and she squeals when it squarely hits her. “Okay, okay, I take it as a no then.”
“It’s like…” you start to say, and they all quiet down, looking at you expectantly. “… it’s a whole different life. Well, everything is the same around me, but my life is different. I have an entirely different life with someone who isn’t Tae.”
“Is that it? I have dreams about being with Liam Hemsworth, so don’t worry, you’re not the only one who doesn’t dream about their boyfriend,” says Ann, shrugging slightly and waving her hand dismissively.
“No, but it’s different!” you insist. “I get dreams that connect to each other… I thought they were just dreams of my life happening right now but with someone else… but there are time skips happening in some dreams, like I get dreams where I’m in high school again or college and then I have dreams when I’m five years older and in the future or something… and I get a lot that happen now too… but it’s of the same life, same relationship with the same man in every dream. And it’s been happening every single night for the past month.”
The three of them exchange silent glances, confused. You get exasperated, sharply inhaling. “You all think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“No, of course not!” Rys protests, and Elle speaks up, “Have you seen… this man, um, outside of your dreams?”
“No! I don’t even know who he is or if my mind just decided to conjure up a random person. But I somehow have this entire relationship built up with him, and I don’t know why,” you sigh, clenching and unclenching your fists to stop yourself from getting so worked up.
“What does he look like?” Ann asks, stretching out to grab her soda and taking a sip of it. You reach down to your bag, rummaging around to find a pencil and any stray receipts or papers. Pulling out a wrinkled sheet with one of your discarded product designs, you flatten it out the best you can before sketching out a quick drawing of him and holding it up for them to see.
“Well, damn,” Rys whistles, peering at the drawing.
“He’s really cute.” Elle comments, and Ann agrees, “Yeah, super good looking. Damn, it’s like your dreams are literally blessed with a man of your dreams.”
“Guys, this isn’t about how attractive this dude is—I’m trying to figure out what’s going on with all these weird dreams.”
“Okay, yeah, but you agree, right? Because that man looks fine as fuck,” Ann says, smirking, and you move to throw another pillow at her. “Alright, alright, fine, just put the missile down, woman.”
“Is there other people in the dreams? Or is it just you and him?” Rys asks, all thoughts of a movie now forgotten.
“Everyone is in it. Even Tae. And he knows we’re dating. Everyone else’s lives are the exact same, except for mine. It’s like I’m going through every single one of my memories and adding in some boy who doesn’t even exist.”
“Every memory? What did you learn about him?”
“From the beginning? Well, his name is Jeon Jungkook, and we met in an English class I had in second semester, freshman year. It was the one with Mrs. Jung, and I knew no one in that class. He sat next to me and apparently forgot his book, and I offered to share mine. And we were just reading partners and always compared our notes with each other in class,” You start, and they all nod their heads, gesturing for you to continue.
“And during lunch one day, Tae was doing that thing, you know, where he sings that song ‘You Are My Sunshine’ to me because he knows I’ll do anything to get him to stop.” You smile fondly as your friends laugh, witnessing that firsthand so many times. “And Jungkook comes along, and he asks me out… and for some reason, I said yes.”
“Wait, hold up.” Ann holds her hand out. “You said yes? Aren’t you dating Tae by then?”
“No… he was just my best friend… and I saw him talking to Ave a lot, and they were really close, so you know, I thought… they were dating in my dream. I wasn’t thinking straight!” you burst out, twisting a strand of your hair around your finger tightly.
Something about Jungkook makes you forget Taehyung when you are in his presence. He reminds you of the beginnings of relationships with the unknown feelings and tentative gestures, something that intrigues you, like a moth drawn to the flame. In a way, he is like Taehyung, but you do not want to try your luck for a second time because you might crash and burn.
“Okay, okay, but it’s just a dream, so it’s okay,” reassures Elle, offering you a bag of potato chips tentatively, and you take them, thanking her. It is probably a good time to start eating your feelings out anyway.
“Did anything else happen?” asks Ann, biting her lower lip.
“Well, there were the first dates, you know, like going to the movies and then hanging out after school. Just the usual high school dates, except they weren’t with Tae… we went to that carnival with everyone else, and we both won stuffed animals though.” You add in as an afterthought before a tiny smile appears on your face. “He was surprisingly very good at the football toss, unlike Tae. Remember how I won Tae the tiger plushie?”
Elle laughs, “Yeah, he squealed so loudly and showed off his happy dance and then gave you such a big hug and kept clinging onto you and the stuffed animal after that.”
“Yeah, he was really cute.” You grin, remembering that night so clearly and the way Taehyung grinned so brightly at you. Even now, your heart flutters at the memory, and the tiger plush has made its home on the chair in your shared bedroom with Taehyung. “It just feels, I don’t know… so wrong to have all these new memories—dreams, I mean—in all the same places where I fell in love with Tae.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Laughing as you and Ann walk out of history class together, she nudges your arm, nodding her head in the direction of your locker down the hallway. The hallways are crowded with students all swarming out from the classrooms and rushing to leave after the last bell rang. Bobbing your head around, you finally spot Jungkook standing awkwardly near your locker.
You give her a questioning look, and she giggles, “Did you forget? He’s waiting for you at your locker for your study date. You know, for the English project you’ve been doing? Anyway, have fun! Go get him, tiger!”
With a wave and a light shoving of you in his direction, she goes in the opposite way towards her locker where Hoseok is standing and waving excitedly at her. He gives her a tight hug, and you cannot help, but smile. They are always cute together, even if they cause you to lose a good ten years of your life every now and then from their antics. Weaving your way around the other students, you find your locker: number 247 and Jungkook waiting there. He gives you a large grin, and you tentatively return it, spinning the right combination before opening your locker.
“How was your class?” he asks, slipping his hands into the pockets of his high school uniform.
“Honestly? I didn’t pay attention. Ann and I were mostly fooling around and sending each other memes in the back,” you answer, taking out the books you needed and placing them into your backpack before slamming your locker shut.
Jungkook chuckles before clearing his throat nervously. “So, um, I was wondering… if you wanted to… uh…”
Turning towards him, you tilt your head, waiting for him to finish. He becomes flustered, unable to finish, and you giggle quietly. “What is it, Jungkook?”
“Can we take the long way to your house? The way through the park this time?” He rubs the back of his neck, his face reddening as he avoids your gaze and holds in his breath, puffing up his cheeks. You are not going to lie; he looks downright adorable.
“Sure.” You let out a laugh when his head snaps up and he stares at you in surprise. “Wait, really?”
“Yes, really. Unless you changed your mind in the past three seconds?”
“N-no, okay, are you ready to leave?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
The two of you walk in the direction of your home, cutting through the park. You spot an ice cream cart, and your eyes brighten. Grabbing Jungkook’s hand to his surprise, you drag him over to the nearest wooden bench. “Can you wait here for a bit? I’ll be right back, I promise!”
Nodding dazedly, he still registers that your hand in his and it is so soft compared to his hands. You give him a genuine smile before sliding off your backpack and putting it down on the space next to him. Taking out your wallet from the small pocket, you race over to the ice cream cart, standing in line behind two younger girls and a mother with her small child.
Jungkook quietly laughs when he sees you giddily hopping from one foot to the other. Looking around, he notices a small patch of tiny daisies growing in the grass next to him. Leaning down and gently plucking one with a long stem, he carefully loops it and ties the end of its stem below the flower. He is careful, holding the delicate flower up to his eye level as he slowly tightens the knot so as not to break it. Satisfied with the end result, he pinches it lightly between his forefinger and thumb, waiting patiently for your return.
Five minutes later, you return, two cones in your hand, one with chocolate ice cream and one with vanilla for yourself. Grinning slightly, you hand him the chocolate dessert, and his eyes light up as he thanks you happily. Taking it from you with one hand, he shyly holds up the daisy creation with the other.
“Jungkook, wha—”
He takes your now empty hand and quickly slips on the daisy ring he made. “For you.”
You cannot suppress the smile you are holding back any longer, and you grin, looking down at the pretty flower. “Thank you.”
Jungkook smiles, squeezing your hand before grabbing his backpack and yours and hurriedly walking towards the direction of your house, trying to conceal his burning cheeks. You admire the ring for a few more seconds before catching up to him, that familiar feeling of high school crushes emerging in your chest.
You do not notice the tiny heart with your initials and his newly carved into the bench.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Jungkook takes you to prom in senior year. And everything was the same, but simultaneously different. Hoseok was absolutely crushing it on the dance floor while Ann cheered him on. Jimin and Rys were quietly talking with each other at the table still, and Jin was still persuading Elle to join him in doing something he called his “traffic dance.” The rest of the boys were hovering around the cupcake bar, thoroughly enjoying themselves.
Everything is the exactly same, except… Taehyung is over there and Jungkook is next to you instead. Jungkook’s arms are around your waist, and yours are loosely clasped behind his neck as the two of you sway to the music, Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up” coming through the speakers.
The nostalgia hits you when you remember standing here with Taehyung, but with Jason Mraz’s “Lucky” playing as you two giggle quietly amongst yourselves and he whispers ridiculous things, like random facts about dogs and how his favorite drink is hot chocolate with whipped cream and exactly ten miniature marshmallows and oh yeah, how he loves you very very much, way more than cute dogs and hot chocolate.
Your heart clenches in your chest, and you glance over at Taehyung, who is happily eating a cupcake and dancing around a rather disgruntled Yoongi. He makes eye contact with you and grins that familiar boxy smile, giving you a wink and your heart tightens up even more.
“Hey, babe… can I show you something?” Jungkook speaks up quietly, and you quickly look up at him, cheeks warm as you are caught staring at Taehyung.
“Yeah, of course.” You smile as naturally as you can at him, heart still erratically thudding in your chest over a boy who is not standing in front of you. He slips his hand into yours, tugging you to the side door of the school gym. You marvel at how your hand fits perfectly in his, whereas with Tae, his hand is slightly larger and overlaps yours. Looking around cautiously for any suspecting teachers, Jungkook exits the gym with you closely behind. The hallway is much quieter with only muted sounds of the music playing filtering through the air.
Your grasp on his hand tightens as you walk down the darkened halls, shadows playing tricks on your mind. Luckily, the walk is short, and Jungkook stops in front of a door, and if you remember correctly, it opens up to the photography classroom. Hand still clutched in his, you quickly hurry in as Jungkook flicks on the light switch. He guides you over to what you assume is his work station.
He hesitates slightly before pulling open the drawer below the table top and taking out an envelope. “Our semester project is supposed to be about something that makes you happy, so I just…”
Your breath hitches in your throat when he opens the envelope and arranges the pictures on the table with utmost care. All across the wooden surface, there are beautiful, candid pictures of his dog, his parents, his brother, his friends, and you. Newfound affection for the boy next to you nestles its way into your heart, and you can only stare in awe at his talent.
“Of course, this one’s my favorite.” He grows more confident after seeing your reaction. He gently picks up the photograph of you laughing freely at the lunch table, throwing your head back. You remember that day. You were feeling terrible because you were so sure you had just walked out of the classroom and failed your computer science test. Taehyung decided to sing his signature song of “You Are My Sunshine”, but this time, accompanied it with a silly dance that had you laughing so hard, you forgot all about the exam.
Taehyung… your heart wrenches at the thought of him.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
There is a thud followed by a yelp coming from outside your bedroom door, and you jolt awake. Taehyung is no longer sleeping next to you, and you have a feeling he is the source behind your unexpected wake up call. Pulling the comforter around your body, you get up from the bed, walking out to the kitchen. Taehyung looks up guiltily when he sees you, a spoon comically hanging from his mouth and his eyes round like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Breakfast?” he asks meekly, holding up a box of cereal, all the while trying to hide the evidence of spilled sugary flakes on the floor with his foot.
Holding back a laugh, you only nod, “Yes, please.”
You scoop up Soonshim before the dog can get to the fallen cereal, and Taehyung quietly sighs in relief. A small smile threatens to show on your face as you go to sit at the kitchen table. Taehyung peeks over at you. He thinks you look absolutely beautiful at four in the morning, messy bed hair framing your face with the comforter draped around you like a cape, drowsily holding your head up in one hand while petting the dog with the other.
If this is the sight that greets him each morning, then he would wake up at the crack of dawn every single day.
You notice him glancing over at you every few seconds, and you give him a playful wave. Taehyung’s smile appears bigger than ever, making the sun dull in comparison, as he laughs, the kind of laugh that sounds so breathy and his eyes twinkle in the way that even the stars would bow down to him. His hair is still fluffy, sticking up in the back slightly, and he looks so endearing that your heart might combust.
If this is the sight that greets you each morning, then you would wake up at the crack of dawn every single day.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The dream drops you right back into your college memories.
After a very stressful morning consisting of midterms in both your Business Law class and Quantum Mechanics class, you are happy to say that the rest of your day was free. People may hate having morning classes, but you consider it a blessing because one: that means there is no one to compete with when choosing your schedule; two: it forces you to actually wake up and do work because let’s face it, you would never wake up that early on your own; and three: hey, look who has the rest of their afternoon and evening free to binge watch Criminal Minds.
But those plans of crime show marathons are put to a halt when a group date was hastily decided upon through a flurry of texts during the time you decided to take a nap apparently. You were awoken quite rudely by a “Mean Girls”-esque moment when Ann barges into your shared dormitory room with a “Wake up, bitch, we’re going laser tagging!”
Groaning, you throw your bed covers over your head as Ann quickly rushes through the details of the outing. “So it’s Jin and Elle, Rys and Jimin, Jungkook and you obviously, and Hoseok and yours truly. We’re gonna compete it out this time in laser tagging. Loser pays for winner’s dinner.”
At the sound of competition and free food, you immediately get up. “Where are we going for dinner?”
“The new restaurant that opened down the street.”
“Alright, I’m in.” With a sigh, you heave yourself off your bed, lazily stripping off your sleepwear before clipping on your bra. Searching around for your black leggings, you find them bunched at the end of your bed and put them on. Pulling on a black and white striped crop top, you throw on your bomber jacket before slipping your feet into a pair of socks and your Adidas.
“Hey, just because you two won last time at bowling doesn’t mean we won’t kick your butt this time.” Ann playfully calls over her shoulder as she applies her makeup in front of the small counter in the room.
Combing through your memories quickly, you remember the bowling dream you had, and you smirk. “We won by a landslide. You all couldn’t even get higher than a hundred points.”
Ann points her mascara wand at you accusingly. “That’s because the two of you are just naturally gifted! You totally creamed everyone in our high school PE Health class, and it was your first time! It’s not fair!”
Grinning, you only shrug as you bump her hip slightly when you stand next to her. “I can’t help if I’m just talented, you know. But really, how did you manage to throw the ball into the other lane? You even had bumpers!”
“Oh my god, that was so embarrassing. The little kids next to us couldn’t stop laughing,” she moans, almost messing up her eyeliner as she cringes over the memory. “Elle was so embarrassed with Jin though. He kept throwing her hand kisses before every throw and calling her his lucky charm, but he only knocked down one pin.”
You hover in front of the mirror, swiping on some light mascara and then hurriedly brushing out your hair. “Yeah, and then Jungkook said she must be a bad luck charm and almost got a bowling ball to the face.”
Ann makes a face. “And yet, me and Hobi still lost and had to pay for your dinners. And of course, you two decided to be assholes and pick the most expensive dishes.”
“Well, I hope you’re ready to pay for tonight’s dinner, too.” You wink at her, and she narrows her eyes.
“Oh, you’re on.”
An hour later, you are ninety-nine percent sure Ann regrets everything. It is silent, and you are perched on the second landing like a sniper, peering down as a jumpy Hoseok clutches his laser gun to his chest and Ann uneasily walks less than a foot in front of him, grip on her laser gun tightening by the second. Jungkook hides behind one of the walls, motioning up to you with a grin. You sport a similar smile on your face as you anticipate what is going to happen next. Three, two, one…
An earsplitting scream leaves your lips, while Jungkook lets out an equally terrifying war cry that has Hoseok and Ann running and shrieking, almost tripping over themselves and abandoning any attempts to defend themselves. Immediately, the two of you begin shooting at the targets on their vests. The gun incessantly buzzes, signaling that you are accurately hitting the marks. Jumping down from your spot, you sprint after them with Jungkook, continuing to shoot at them. When the petrified couple reaches a dead end, they finally realize that they actually have weapons which they should probably utilize and then proceed to wildly shoot everywhere, punctuating every shot with a screech.
You and Jungkook quickly dodge out of the way, but he manages to get hit in the arm.
“I’ve been shot!” he gasps, and you turn around to see him sprawled on the floor, one hand dramatically pressed to his forehead while the other one stretches out towards you. “Run and save yourself, babe.”
While Jungkook is comparatively more enthusiastic about winning than Taehyung and completely understands the importance of competition, he is, without a doubt, much more melodramatic than Taehyung. And that is saying something, considering how your boyfriend likes to perform monologue dramas with himself while doing laundry. You never let Taehyung live it down when you caught him reenacting scenes from “Cinderella” alone.
“Oh my god, Jungkook.” Rolling your eyes, you grab his outstretched hand and haul him off the floor with a snicker. “Giving them five points isn’t going to make a dent in our score anyway. We gotta do this for the free food afterwards.”
“You’re right. Free food is important.” He adjusts his vest. “You think we should go back to Ann and Hoseok and try to get more points?”
“They’re still screaming though, and I’d prefer to come out of this with my hearing still intact. Maybe we should aim for the other couples.” You peer around the corner and confirm your assumptions when you see that they are still shooting haphazardly and mimicking a pair of banshees. It is an automatic death zone if you want to try and get past them.
“What the heck is going on over there?” Jin emerges from the other side, Elle walking close behind him as she checks over her shoulder. “Who is yelli—oh, shoot.”
His eyes widen comically at the sight of you and Jungkook, and the two of you are most likely mirror images of the Cheshire Cat right now. “Elle, run.”
“Wha—” She turns around, and a look of panic comes across her face in a split second. “Fuck.”
The couple immediately hightails it out of there with you and Jungkook hot on their heels, shooting the targets on their backs right in the bulls-eye. Chasing after them, you pass by a busy Rys and Jimin in a corner, and you slow down your speed, Jungkook almost crashing into you.
“Should we scare them, too?” You gesture towards the oblivious couple making out, and a mischievous grin makes its way onto Jungkook’s face as he nods before cupping his hands around his mouth, hollering on the top of his lungs.
“Hey! This is a kid-friendly area! Keep it PG over there!”
Frightened, Rys and Jimin break apart with a small scream and eyes wide. Bounding towards them, you and Jungkook raise your laser guns simultaneously, and they already know what is going to happen next. Jimin throws himself in front of Rys valiantly, and while the gesture is nice, it really will not matter since their joint score is going to escalate no matter who you hit. Ready, aim, fire.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The incessant beeping of the laser gun in your hands does not end even after you stop pulling the trigger.
Shaking yourself awake, you realize it is the sound of your alarm blaring repeatedly. You blindly wave your arm around before your hand finally hits the button to turn it off. Yawning, you sit up, rubbing your eyes. Taehyung enters the room from the bathroom. He already changed into his work clothes, and he came over to grab his watch from the nightstand.
“Morning, sunshine,” he greets you, smirking a little.
“Morning,” you mumble before squinting at him. “What’s with the smirk?”
“Well, I think someone was having good dreams last night.” He winks at you, and you turn red, palms beginning to sweat as the dream returns to you in full force and leaves you a nervous wreck. Did you say Jungkook’s name out loud?
“You were smiling and mumbling something about food and ‘aim at their vest!’ so I’m guessing laser tag?”
You relax, giving him a smile. “Yeah, that basically sums up my dream.”
“Mm,” he hums, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “I can’t remember the last time we went. It was probably during college. We should go do that sometime and invite everyone else.”
“Y-yeah, definitely.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Even in your dreams, you have to re-experience the horrors of waking up late for class.
You only had ten minutes before your eight am class starts. Throwing the covers off of your body and jumping out of bed immediately, you peel off the loose t-shirt you were wearing as your pajamas. Pulling on a pair of sweat pants, you twist on the bra that was hanging on your desk chair before pulling on a plain, black, long sleeve V-neck shirt. You run to the sink in the corner, splashing water on your face before squirting toothpaste onto your toothbrush and running it across your teeth quickly. Spitting out the minty foam and rinsing your mouth, you look up, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror—or rather, a glimpse of some rather visible love bites on your space between your neck and clavicle.
When did you ever let Jungkook do something like that? You rarely let him touch you in any of your dreams.
“Fuck it,” you heave a sigh, gently brushing your fingers over the bruises as you examine them quickly in the mirror, tilting your head to the side. “I can’t be late for Linear Programming.”
Grabbing your bag that you thankfully packed last night with your notebook and student access card among other essentials, you hurriedly slide your feet into a pair of flip flops and race out of your dorm room. You have five minutes to get to class, and you run faster than the time you heard they were giving out free milk tea in the courtyard. When you reach the lecture hall, you quickly slip through the doors and sit down in the back next to Taehyung.
He looks up at you and smirks. “Nice hickies.”
“Thanks.”
Unfazed, you pull out your notebook and a pen, scribbling down the usual header for your notes: the date, chapter number, and description. No sooner had you finished, the professor begins rapidly firing facts at the class, writing down examples on the chalkboard, and you and Taehyung take down notes without another word, all focus going into copying down notes and including personal inputs to help you remember certain concepts better. Sixty-five minutes later, the professor ends the session, and you shake out your cramped hand and shove your notes into your bag with the other.
“I’ll bet on chocolate chip pancakes that Jungkook is gonna freak when he sees the hickies at breakfast,” Taehyung says, waiting for you as you finish packing up.
You snort, standing up and slinging your bag over your shoulder as you exit the room. “No way. That’s already a given.”
“Oh, c’mon,” Taehyung whines, clinging onto your arm, as he looks up at you through his eyelashes, pouting. “I’m low on meal points and I don’t want to starve at the end of the semester. You’re at least five hundred points over still!”
Sighing, you give in as the two of you make your way into the dining hall, which was luckily right next to your lecture hall. You always were weak for Kim Taehyung. “I’ll buy you breakfast if you stand in line and get me a plate of chocolate chip pancakes, too.”
Taehyung squeals, eyes lighting up as he throws his arms around you happily. “Deal! Thank you! I love you, sunshine!”
When you hear those words, it is almost as if he drove a stake into your heart. Nostalgia for the college days you spent with Taehyung hits hard. Biting your lip, you hand him your access card, and he runs ahead to get in line. You spot the rest of your friends at the usual table near the window and walk over, dropping your bag on the ground next to an unoccupied chair.
“Damn, girl, those bruises. You’re ruining it for the innocent ones.” Ann wriggles her eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes. “I caught you and Hoseok coming out of room 308 with him wearing your lipstick and your underwear in his back pocket, so you are definitely not innocent.”
Hoseok at least has the decency to flush red, suddenly putting all his interest in the breakfast set out in front of him. Yoongi shows absolutely no reaction and resumes his talk with Namjoon about their latest music project. Jin flashes the couple in question a disapproving look, while Rys and Jimin look somewhat scandalized at this new piece of information.
“Oh, don’t look so innocent.” Ann directs her statement towards Rys and Jimin, flicking a tater tot at them. “You two are all sweet in the streets, but probably freaks in the sheets.”
Jimin almost swallows his French toast whole, spluttering, while Rys nearly hacks up a lung.
“What the fuck, Ann,” Rys gasps out, staring at Ann, who simply gives them a shrug and a devilish grin before continuing to eat her breakfast.
There is a sudden choking noise behind you, and you turn to see a mortified Jungkook.
“Why didn’t you cover that?!” He wildly gestures at your neck in horror before quickly stripping off his sweatshirt and throwing it at you. “Put this on!”
 Stifling a laugh, you merely place the sweater in your lap, and Jungkook’s eyes grow even wider much to your amusement. You smile up at him innocently, waving your fingers at him. “Hey, Jungkook.”
“Oh my god, the professors all saw! Did you run out of that cover up powder shit? Should I go buy some? Wait, what color do you even wear? There’s like seventy different shades, fuck. This is like buying pads all over again. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” he whispers to himself, and you almost start to feel bad for giving him a mental breakdown. He is squatting on the ground, head held in his hands in despair, and you reach down to tentatively pat his shoulder in efforts to soothe him.
“Just put the hoodie on before he suffers from a heart attack,” Elle pipes up, laughing slightly at Jungkook, who still looks like you put him through some sort of excruciating agony.
“Alright, fine.” You hide your smile when Jungkook finally gets up and sits in the seat next to you, the tips of his ears still red. Slipping on the sweatshirt, you are immediately enveloped in warmth, the edge of the sleeves reaching your fingertips. You pull the fabric around your body tightly, tucking your nose into the collar.
It smells like a hint of vanilla and fresh laundry.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
“Hey, Tae.”
You nudge him with your foot gently. The two of you are sitting on your respective sides of the bed, going through papers for work. Taehyung stops rifling through his papers, peering at you over his glasses, which are slightly askew. Hiding a grin, you reach over and straighten them out for him. He smiles, grasping your hand quickly before you can take it back, and then gently kisses the palm of your hand before answering.
“Yeah, sunshine?”
“Do you know anyone named, um…” You hesitate, biting your bottom lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. “Jeon Jungkook?”
Taehyung purses his lips absentmindedly, mulling over the name. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Not even high school or college?”
“No, I don’t remember anyone named that. Why?”
“Oh, no reason. I just—” You wrack your brain for any excuse because telling your boyfriend that you are dreaming of another man is not the best idea. “Uh, I saw the name somewhere, and it sounded familiar.”
“Huh. I don’t remember that name.” He scratches the back of his head. “Are you feeling okay, sunshine? You’re more quiet these days.”
“I’m fine, Tae. It’s just work stress.” You assure him, squeezing his hand lightly.
Taehyung does not look very convinced, but he drops it. “Okay, sunshine. I’m here for you if you need me.”
You smile at him, nodding before dropping your gaze to the papers in front of you. The uneasy feeling writhes around your stomach, clenching it tightly, and the guilt continues to hang around you. You shouldn’t be feeling this way, you chastise yourself, dreams are a normal thing to have… but somehow, it still feels wrong.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Stepping into your home, the small yapping of the Pomeranian meets your ears, and you crouch down, affectionately petting it before standing up and removing your shoes, tossing your purse onto the couch. After washing your hands in the kitchen, you stride over to the couch, flopping onto it before turning on the flat screen. You had returned from a spontaneous trip to McDonald’s with Ann, and you wonder if Jungkook had gone out and if you had the place to yourself.
No sooner than the first few seconds of the Law and Order: Special Victims monologue started, you hear the hurried footsteps of someone running, and Jungkook appears, nearly launching himself over the back of the couch and landing neatly on the cushions, giving you a wide grin.
“Well, I definitely can’t miss out on Stabler and Benson.”
You shake your head in disbelief at the over-extravagant way he decided to make his presence known. He nudges you with his arm. “So where’d you go? You left before I woke up.”
“McDonald’s with Ann. We decided to indulge in some Happy Meals. Check out my new toy.” You rummage around your bag before pulling out a small Iron Man figurine. “The toys are all Marvel characters.”
Jungkook stares at the toy resting in your palm for a moment. “I want one.”
“Tough luck. I’m not sharing.” He reaches out to snatch it from your hand, but you move quicker, wrapping your fingers around the plastic toy and holding it out of his reach. Jungkook pouts, sulking in his spot for a few minutes, as the two of you watch the crime show in silence. His leg jostles up and down, and you already know he is making some sort of scheming plan in his mind.
Abruptly sitting up, he announces, “I’m gonna go for a drive.”
“Okay, have fun.” You keep your eyes on the screen in front of you, but see Jungkook with your peripheral vision, making sure he is not about to do something unexpected. But he simply gets up and takes the keys from the hook by the door, and you relax. The door shuts behind him, and you settle down as you watch Stabler kick down a door. Cookie jumps up onto the couch and snuggles into your lap.
Thirty minutes later, the door slams and you look over to see a very disgruntled Jungkook who comes over and sprawls out onto the couch, facedown with a moan, kicking his feet slightly, and you are immediately reminded of a petulant child after receiving a lecture from his mother.
“What’s wrong, Jungkook?”
He merely moans, muffled because he continues to bury his face in the cushions. Finally, he stretches his hand out towards you, unfurling his fist to reveal a Thor figurine. Did he actually drive to McDonalds to get a toy? You almost choke on your laughter, but immediately stop when he looks up to give you a glare before resuming his facedown position.
You try to maintain a serious look. “I’m sorry, love.”
He turns his face, cheek resting on the cushion, as he peeks up at you, bottom lip jutting out in disappointment. “The lady refused to let me switch! She said I was holding up the drive thru line!”
“… You can have my Iron Man.” You hold out your toy tentatively, and Jungkook sits upright immediately, gawking at you for a few seconds, before his eyes curve into half-moons and a delighted laugh slips past his lips before he jumps on you, pinning you between himself and the couch as he latches onto you in a tight hug. Cookie barks, slipping out and settling down in the space next to you.
“You’re the best, babe!”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I love you.”
The sudden, casual confession makes you feel uncomfortably, a coil of nerves piling up in your stomach, twisting and turning. You smile uneasily, focusing your attention on the dog instead and petting its head gently.
“… I know.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Your arms are deep in the soap suds and lukewarm water as you pull up another dish to wash, scrubbing at the stains with a sponge. Jungkook stands next to you, carefully rinsing off any remaining soap before placing it on the rack to dry. He quietly hums, moving the plate in a circular motion under the stream of water coming from the faucet. You peek a glance over at him as he concentrates on that single piece of china.
A smirk plays on your lips before you reach over and flick a handful of soapsuds at him. It hits him on the side of his neck, and he looks over at you, wide eyed. You smile innocently at him.
“Oops. It was an accident.”
Jungkook narrows his eyes at you suspiciously as you return to washing the next bowl. Mere seconds later, you feel several bubbles smeared onto your cheek. Gaping, you turn to stare at Jungkook, and he only shrugs, turning away to hide a barely concealed laugh.
In an instant, you scoop up a hefty amount of foam into your hand and fling it at him, hitting him directly in the shoulder. Laughing, Jungkook grabs a large handful and throws it at you, and you splutter through the soap now dripping down your face. Picking up suds in both hands, you hurl it at Jungkook, and it soaks through his shirt.
“It’s cold!” Jungkook yelps, peeling the upper front of his shirt away from his chest, and you can only laugh, secretly very proud of your aim. Immediately, Jungkook grabs the remainder of the soapy remnants and shoves it down the front of your shirt. Gasping as the cold, not quite liquid nor solid substance slides down, you glare at him, and he merely gives you a cheeky grin.
“Nice bra, babe.”
Your brilliantly red undergarment now stands out against the drenched, white material, and you growl, “Oh, it’s on.”
Grabbing the sink nozzle, you spray him for a few seconds until his own shirt clings to him like a second skin before resuming your dish duty. Gasping, he gazes down at the wet fabric, a betrayed look aimed directly at you soon after. It gets quiet, a little too quiet soon after, and you cautiously glance up. Jungkook looks deep in thought, and you recognize that expression. It is the same facial expression he gets right before absolutely creaming you in Mario Kart. You carefully put down the plate before slowly backing away and taking off in a sprint around the counter.
You had taken no more than five steps when a pair of arms encircle around your waist, and the back of your shirt now meets the same demise as its front when Jungkook hugs you closely to his chest, laughing loudly as you squirm around with a small shriek. He only tightens his grip around you, placing his chin on your shoulder, his breathy laughs tickling your ear, and you give up, going limp in his arms, before your own shoulders start to shake from laughter.
“Well, technically, this is your shirt, so I guess you ruined your own clothes,” you finally say in between giggles, and Jungkook freezes. “What?”
“Sorry, not sorry.”
“Oh my god, why,” he groans, his forehead now resting on the crown of your head. “We’re a mess.”
You twist around in his arms to flick his nose lightly, and he wriggles it reflexively. “I know.”
“But I still love you.”
The knots in your stomach tighten. “I know.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
"Hey, _______, wake up."
You suddenly stir awake, sitting upright with Rochelle, one of your co-workers and your friend, looking at you worriedly. Blearily glancing around, you realize you must have fallen asleep at your desk.
"It's time to go home anyway, so you should get some rest. You're been working overtime for your new clients way too much," she pipes up, placing a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. "Do you want me to call Taehyung for you? I don't want you falling asleep behind the wheel."
"Oh, no, I'm fine, really, don't worry," you assure her. She looks a little uncertain, but bids you a good bye before taking her leave. Rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands, you try to straighten out the jumbled thoughts running through your mind.
"What has gotten into me?" you whisper to yourself.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Tonight, Taehyung has to stay in the office later than usual. He says they are close to getting a breakthrough with the coding after weeks of pouring over every inch of it. The excited tone of his voice makes you smile as he stumbles over his words in a hurry, eager to tell you about the latest news. However, his voice grows remorseful when he apologizes over and over again for missing dinner tonight. It has been a cycle, either you coming home late or him due to the sudden number of promotions or advances. But you entirely understand, having your fair share of skipping dinner due to overtime, and reassure him.
"It's okay, Tae. We've both been really busy this past few months."
“When I get this stupid chip done, we're gonna take a long vacation we both deserve."
You smile, your fingers tightening around your phone. "You promise?"
"I promise. And don’t wait up for me, okay, sunshine? I want you to get some sleep. I know you barely slept last night. You stayed up finishing your product proposal instead.”
“How did you—? Okay… well, how long are you going to be there?”
“I’m not sure… we fixed the coding, but I think there’s a malware issue for some reason… I’m sorry… I miss you… and I love you.”
“It’s okay, Tae, I understand. I miss you, too… I love you.”
“Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. Sweet dreams, sunshine.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
When you enter the penthouse, the first thing that catches your attention is the blatantly conspicuous fort made out of sheets and pillows in the middle of the living room. You are speechless, to say the least, eyes roaming over the new construction taking up much of the space, corners of sheets being tied to various kitchen chairs and barstools that had been pulled over. Faint, glowing lights are outlined beneath the cotton, and you can only guess that Jungkook took out the Christmas lights from god knows where. But speaking of Jungkook—
“You’re home!”
Jungkook’s head pops out from under a pile of blankets, and he positively beams at you. With a glimmer in his eye akin to a child’s wonder towards their first snow, his eyes sparkle, curving into half-moons, as he struggles to get out of his blanket cocoon before giving up and simply waving you over. Laughter bubbles past your lips, and you walk over there, crouching down to peer into the fort. Jungkook’s hand shoots out and wraps around your wrist, tugging you in, and you lightly tumble in, giggling slightly as the copious amounts of pillows spread on the floor break your fall.
When was the last time you and Taehyung did this? You both were so busy with work these days that the time spent together was reduced to the few minutes in bed at night before sleep crept up or the rushed morning kisses sloppily slotted in between waking up and making it on time to the bus stop two blocks over.
You gingerly settle in, leaving a few inches between yourself and Jungkook. Wrapping yourself in your own blanket, you turn to look at the man next to you, who is still wriggling in excitement. “So, any reason why you decided to make a pillow fort?”
“I was bored.” He shrugs before a small smirk escapes onto his face. “And also because I thought we can, um, discuss Harry Potter in a magical setting. Or as magical as it can get. I bought butterbeer at least.”
“Wait, what?” You stare at him. “You’ve never read Harry Potter though.”
“I spent the past month secretly reading all the books because according to my girlfriend, only true Harry Potter fans read the books.” He mocks you with a high-pitched voice, and you hit him in the shoulder with a nearby pillow.
“I can’t believe you finally read them all. Wow, amazing.”
“Okay, but actually, what I can’t believe is that they completely butchered Ginny’s character in the movies. She’s way cooler and funnier in the books, and in the movies, she has the personality of a potato,” Jungkook scoffs, reaching over and grabbing one of the stray pillows. “And they totally left out Peeves! How could they do that to my man?”
“Well, technically, he’s a poltergeist, not a man,” you speak up, and Jungkook gives you a dead look, making you snort. “Well, he is!”
“Anyway, you’re a terrible girlfriend for not making me read them earlier,” Jungkook casually says, and you throw him an expression of incredulity along with several pillows, which he somehow manages to dodge due to his blessed reflexes. The blanket is bunched up around his waist now, but he does not seem to particularly care, enjoying the cool air against his skin.
You crinkle your eyebrows, jutting your chin out in protest. “I’m a terrible girlfriend?! You’re the one who refused to read it! You’re the terrible boyfriend here! I can’t believe you’d accuse me of bein—why are you smiling?”
Jungkook has a stupid grin on his face now, and you immediately stop talking, a tiny bit confused. Being called a terrible boyfriend does not usually bring up that kind of reaction. In fact, it would lead to quite the opposite response.
“You called me your boyfriend,” he answers in a sing-song voice, poking you in the arm. “I’m your boyfriend!”
“I—what, oh my god, you complete dork.” You become a stammering mass, absolutely flustered before making a face plant into the pillow in front of you. Rolling your head to one side a few seconds later, cheek pressed against the cushion, you eye him suspiciously. “Wait, but why is that so surprising? Haven’t we been… dating for years?”
“Yeah, and your point is, babe? What are you trying to say to your boyfriend of eleven years?” He winks at you, and you debate on doing a second faceplant or throwing another pillow at his face. At this point, you may run out of pillows. Okay, maybe you should take a few breathes. Close your eyes. Inhale, count to five, exhale, count to five again.
“You okay?” Jungkook waves his hand in front of your face, but you keep your eyes closed.
“Just peachy.”
“You sure, babe? Your boyfriend is very concerned.”
“Listen, I’m this close to strangling you.”
“Ooh, kinky.”
Your eyes snap open, and, well, forget the breathing exercises, you can release your frustration by beating the man next to you several times with your pillow. However, the sound of your ringtone abruptly fills the air, and you fumble around to grab it from your back pocket. Jungkook starts to say something, but you hold up one finger in the air to silence him. Ann’s name flashes on the screen, and you tap on the ‘accept phone call’ button.
“Hello?” You put the phone to your ear, waiting for her response, but all you get are muffled noises. "Um, Ann?"
A rustling noise is heard, along with muffled voices, and you grow concerned. The worst case scenarios begin to filter through your mind, each one getting exponentially more horrifying, and you contemplate dialing 911 just in case.
Jungkook's voice crashes your train of thought, interrupting, "Hey, what's wrong? Does she need something?"
"All I'm hearing is muffled voices and rustling, oh my god, what if she's being kidnapped?" Your eyes grow round as the terrifying thought surmounts in your mind again, and for once, Jungkook looks serious, taking consideration into your concern.
"Put it on speaker."
You wordlessly tap the button, the noises much louder now, and the two of you listen intently with bated breath. Any movement on the other line has ceased considerably, and you do not know if that is a good thing or bad thing.
"Okay, so," Jungkook starts to say, but halts when the noise starts up again. But it was definitely not what either of you were expecting. The lewd sound of skin against skin, high pitched moans becoming more vocal by the second, and oh my god, did Ann just refer to Hoseok's dick as Lil' SeokSeok?
You want to just crawl into a hole and die from the embarrassment. You are completely horrified, but for a different reason than you thought you were going to be, and Jungkook is frozen, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks burning from mortification. In a flash, he grabs your phone, presses the 'end call' button, and throws it as far away as possible. It falls somewhere near the wall, and Cookie runs over, sniffing it, before padding over and curling up between the two of you.
"Fuck, I think I need to go scrub my ears. What the fuck did we just hear?" Jungkook says at last, inhaling deeply.
"... It was a butt dial."
"So, a literal booty call. The Hobi Dick is the new Moby Dick."
“What the fuck.”
After giving him a strange look—which he returns with an even stranger expression much to your amusement—you burst out laughing when it finally registers in your mind what he just said, and Jungkook looks especially proud of his word play.
"Oh my god, how can you still make terrible puns after experiencing that?"
"I blame Jin for being a bad influence."
"Poor Elle."
"Poor Elle? Poor us! We had to listen to the grossest thing ever.” He makes a face, and you can only laugh even harder, as he continues to say, “This calls for payback."
"... Well, we could order Viagra and send it to Hoseok and Ann's apartment under the name Lil' SeokSeok."
"Well, shit, I was gonna say prank call them, but that’s even better. I'm dating an actual genius. God, I love you."
“I know.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Jungkook picks you up from your workplace, sitting in the lobby and calling out to you much to your surprise. You walk over to him, and he reaches over to lace his fingers through yours casually. You are startled, but do not pull away this time.
"What are you doing here, Jungkook?" You ask curiously, following him as he tugs you forward.
"I'm taking the long way home with you." He smiles shyly before looking ahead. "I figured since it's Friday and all, we can walk through the park because the cherry blossoms are all blooming and you always liked them. They're your favorite."
"Oh.." A smile slowly crept up on your face as you squeeze his hand tightly and fall in step next to him. "That sounds really nice."
When the two of you reach the park, you stroll under the blooming branches of the trees, petals falling down like light snow. He swings your intertwined hands between your bodies, and you join in, swinging your hands at ridiculously higher and higher heights until you both stop and erupt in a fit of laughter.
"Oh, ice cream cart!"
Jungkook lets go of your hand and bounds over to the man selling ice cream. Chucking to yourself, you go to sit down at a nearby bench, waiting for him. You notice the small clump of dandelions growing nearby, and you walk over, bending down to pick two. Holding them carefully with a hand cupped around the tops so they would not blow away, you return to your seat.
Jungkook comes back, looking a little flustered, as he wordlessly hands you a vanilla ice cream cone and keeps the chocolate one for himself. Thanking him, you take the sweet dessert from his hands, enjoying the cool, sugary taste immediately. Jungkook sits there, contemplating over something.
"What's wrong?" You nudge his leg with your knee before shooting him a suspicious look. "Did you do something weird with the ice cream?"
"What? No!" He protests before taking a lick of his ice cream. "It's just... the ice cream man said we were cute together... He told me to not mess it up with you."
"Oh. Well, what did you say?"
"I said I'll try not to." He ducks his head down, cheeks turning a faint shade of red, and you stay silent, unsure of what to say. He notices the dandelions held in your hand and gestures to them. "Aren't you gonna make a wish?"
"Oh! Yeah, here, I got one for you." You offer one to him, and he plucks it from your grasp carefully. "Make a wish."
The two of you simultaneously blow the seeds off of the stem as the remnants of the flower float away, joining the cherry blossoms that continue to swirl around the two of you. You watch with joy and fascination as they dance away, fluttering around in the wind until you lose sight of them.
"So, what'd you wish for?" Jungkook speaks up.
"Well, if I tell you, it's not gonna come true." You give him a smirk.
"Oh, c'mon! What about a hint? I'll give you a hint, too."
"Okay, fine, I wished that I won't spill my ice cream on my blouse."
"I wished something about us."
"Oh."
You lied.
You wished something about you and Jungkook, too.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
"Sunshine, we made it! We did it!"
Taehyung comes bursting through the door of your apartment, and you are startled, looking up from the numerous entrepreneurship deals and program designs you have scattered all over the kitchen table. Kicking the door shut behind him, he rushes over to you and pulls you out of your seat. Twirling you around, he picks you up and lifts you off the ground as he spins and you hug onto him tightly, laughing, before he gently puts you down and kisses you on the mouth.
"I figured out the chip." His eyes sparkle as he tells you the news, nearly wriggling in excitement. "After three long years of slaving over this thing, I finally figured out the programming and fixed it up and I got so excited, I just drove home to tell you and Namjoon is probably really confused why I just left, but I had to go home and tell you first."
Your eyes widen when your mind finally registers what he said and you let out a scream, and Taehyung joins in, the two of you dancing around in some silly circle that involves a lot of tears and flailing limbs. He pulls you in for a firm hug, lifting you off your feet again as you bury your head into the crook of his neck, latching onto him just as tightly.
When the two of you collapse on the couch after expending all your energy, he wraps his arms around you tightly, nuzzling his face into your hair. You curl up into his side, leaning up to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
"Congratulations, Tae. I'm so damn proud of you. I love you."
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Jungkook makes you swear on your last carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that you will not take off the blindfold and open your eyes until he tells you to. You blindly reach out, swinging your arms around hesitantly as he tells you to walk forward. Straight into a wall.
"Fuck! Jungkook, I swear to God I will kill you later," you threaten through gritted teeth as Jungkook laughs so hard to the point of coughing. You desperately want to rip off the flimsy piece of fabric covering your eyes, but ice cream is on the line and you definitely do not want to lose it.
"Okay," You feel Jungkook gently take your hands into his, and your fingers tighten their grip. "No more wall crashing. I'll guide you this time."
You shuffle forward tentatively as Jungkook tugs you in his direction. The sound of the chair scraping against the floor is heard, and then he carefully eases you down into your seat before pushing you and the chair forward. There is a rustling sound, and you can only imagine that he is taking the seat in front of you.
"Okay, you can take the blindfold off now."
Pulling it away from your eyes, you are gaping at the sight that meets you, the fabric fluttering away from your grasp, abandoned on the ground. A magnificent spread for a three Michelin star candle lit dinner is set out. Gordon Ramsey would be proud. But only if he enjoyed chicken nuggets and ketchup. And if he accepted construction paper place mats and flashlights as alternatives for candles.
"I... I don't know whether to laugh or cry." You decide to do a little bit of both.
"Hey, I put a lot of work into this," Jungkook sounds indignant and somewhat offended before a familiar smile peeks out and he is beaming at you.
You reach out towards your filled glass, bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. "... This is grape juice, isn't it."
"Of course. I serve only the classiest of wines."
"I applaud your choice, Mr. Jeon."
"Thank you. I have quite a refined palate, you know." He takes a bite of a chicken nugget delicately, and you struggle to keep a straight face.
"So Jimin's proposal went well." You recall seeing the picture Rys sent to the girls' group chat of her new engagement ring.
"Jimin had me and the rest of the guys running around for hours, making sure everything was perfect," Jungkook groans, slouching back in his chair. "I had to go to three different flower stores because 'the roses aren't the right shade of red, Kookie! Gosh, do you want me to be alone forever?!'"
You snort, listening to Jungkook's rather accurate imitation of Jimin. "If you thought that was bad, try going with him to design the perfect ring for Rys for three weeks. Or going with Hoseok to find the right promise ring. I swear, if Jin comes to me asking for help on a ring hunt, I might scream."
"Ah, so does that mean you don't want a ring?" Jungkook looks at you seriously, and your heart drops.
"Wait, oh my god, you can't be—No, please, stop, I—"
Jungkook gets out of his seat and drops down on one knee dramatically. "Babe, _______, you are the vanilla to my chocolate, apple to my pie, peanut butter to my jelly. You make my heart skip a beat, my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy..."
He pauses dramatically, and you are still in panic mode, your mind going into overdrive.
"Mom's spaghetti."
"... Jungkook, literally, what the fuck, you absolute idiot."
A weight the size of an elephant is lifted off your chest, and you start to laugh so hard that tears spring to the corners of your eyes. Jungkook grins up at you happily before pulling out a clear, plastic, egg shaped container—one that comes from a twenty five cent machine. Popping it open, he pulls out a red dinosaur ring and presents it to you with much flourish and a bow of his head.
"For you."
Unable to suppress the giggle that comes out due to the sheer absurdity of the situation, you chuckle quietly as you give your left hand to Jungkook, and he places the ring on your fourth finger in a very ostentatious way that has you laughing even more.
You admire the ring, wriggling your fingers slightly, as you get used to the feeling of a new material wrapped around your finger.
"Thank you, love," you say quietly as Jungkook slides back into his chair across from you, munching on another chicken nugget.
"You're welcome, babe."
You smile at him, and he grins back, and the two of you continue to eat your dinner. You glance down at the construction paper mat Jungkook had made underneath the plate of artfully decorated chicken nuggets. Various doodles litter the paper: pictures of you and him, pictures of Cookie, and—you hold back a laugh—a very random picture of a chicken drumstick.
"Hey, _______?"
You look up, meeting Jungkook's steady gaze. "Yeah?"
"I love you."
You break the eye contact, eyes now downcast, as you idly push around the pieces of chicken on your plate with your fork. You hesitate.
"I know."
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Taehyung and you are meeting for dinner. There is so much work to do, now that both of your careers have been taking off in the past two months, but if there is one rule the two of you have established, it is that you always have to have dinner together at least twice a week. You arrive a little early to the upscale restaurant, reciting Taehyung’s name to the hostess, and are seated at a table next to the window. With the restaurant nestled on the top floor of a building, the view looks so beautiful. It reminds me of the penthouse view, you think wryly to yourself.
Glancing down at the menu, you already know everything is going to be so expensive by only looking at the names of the dishes that you can barely pronounce. Well, this place definitely is not going to be serving chicken nuggets and grape juice, unless you consider cordon bleu escalope de poulet as the former and a two hundred dollar bottle of red wine as the latter. You hide a smile when you notice the waxed light on the table; that most definitely is a real candle, not a flashlight.
As your mind wanders off, Taehyung enters, rushing over to take the seat across from you with a grin.
“Hey, sunshine! … honey bunches? Love of my life? Light of my world? Sugar plum? Darling? Angel? Strawberry shortcake? Babe?”
“Huh?” You blink twice, still lost in thought. “Yeah, love?”
At the term of endearment, Taehyung giggles, and you look at him, confused. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” He gives you a wide smile, cheeks turning rosy, and you temporarily forget that you should probably start breathing. “It’s just that you’ve never called me that before.”
“O-oh.” You realize your slip up, and a certain boy—someone who is not sitting across from you—pops up in your mind once again. You feel so guilty, trying to push away the glimpses of another man whisked together entirely by fragments of your imagination, but he remains so vivid in your thoughts, pushing away any other remnants to the deepest crevices of your cognizance.
“I like it, sunshine. And you look very beautiful.”
Your cheeks turn rosy as you beam back at him. “And you look very handsome, Mr. Kim Taehyung.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
You find it in the back of the coat closet. Jungkook's winter coat had fallen down, and you had picked it up to hang it back in its proper place when you felt something rectangular in the pocket. Pulling it out, a simple, black box rests in the palm of your hand, and you hold your breath, counting out five seconds, before you open it finally.
The intricate, silver band with the prettiest set diamond gleams back at you.
Your heart leaps up into your throat when you notice the tiny engraved inscriptions of your initials and his on the inside of the ring. You haphazardly close the box and stuff it back into the pocket before putting back the coat and shutting the door. Your breath comes out unevenly as you slightly shake in your spot, leaning against the closet door.
What scares you is not the reveal of the jewelry and its significance, but the tiny inkling of emotion that you had tried to block and pushed far, far back into the deepest parts of your mind has come out full force.
Controlling your breathing, you walk into the kitchen, pulling out ingredients to start dinner. The simple pasta with white sauce is easy to make as you have already prepared the chopping and measurements beforehand. You boil the premade pasta, and then work on the Caesar salad, making a nice bowl of it before placing aside on the counter. Before starting the pasta sauce, you quickly prepare some garlic bread, spreading the butter, garlic, and chopped herbs on the cut loaf of French bread and popping it into the oven. You pour out the pasta into a strainer next, letting it sit for a while.
Jungkook appears, stealing a crouton, as he sits at the barstool. "Hi, babe, dinner smells good."
"T-thanks. I'll be done in ten minutes." Your mind goes back to the ring in the closet, and your hands shake as you pour in the heavy cream for the sauce. Your phone buzzes, and you pull it from your back pocket to see that Taehyung has texted you. Ignoring the message and tucking the device back into your pocket, you continue to make the pasta, your mind in a complete jumble, and all you can do is focus on preparing the food in front of you.
"You know," Jungkook starts, "I always thought you'd end up with him in the beginning."
"What?" Your head whips up as you fixate on him with a glare.
He looks a little taken aback by your sudden attention, but continues on, "It's just.. you two liked each other back then, didn't you? You liked Taehyung... And I heard Taehyung confessing to Jimin that he was in love with you..."
"Why didn't you say anything about this back then?" Your voice comes out strangled, and you duck your head, trying to keep your breath steady. "If you knew we loved each other... Why didn't you tell one of us?"
He fucking knew.
In this weird, fucked up dream universe, you thought you were suffering a one-sided, unrequited love, but Taehyung loved you, too. And Jungkook knew all along. A sudden burst of emotions—bouts of anger, nostalgia, sadness, and hatred—comes, and you struggle to hold it all in.
"Why didn't you say anything?" You loudly exclaim, staring at Jungkook straight in the eyes, and he looks frightened, eyes widened.
"I—well, I—"
"You what exactly?"
Jungkook's eyes drop, and so does his voice, now barely above a whisper. "I was—and still am—in love with you, too. So I took my chance by asking you out before Taehyung did. I knew you'd be happy if I told you Taehyung was going to confess. I knew you'd say yes, and you two would be so happy together... But I wanted to be happy, too. Was that wrong of me?"
You can only hold back a sob, choking on it quietly, as you push the unfinished dinner away from you and quickly brush past Jungkook, wiping away the tears that start to fall. Calling out, Jungkook reaches toward you, wrapping his hand around your wrist, but your next words have him letting go.
"I hate you."
His hand slips away as you dash off, putting on shoes quickly and walking out the front door. He sits there, looking around at the empty place, now hushed and silent.
"I know."
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
When the sunset bleeds into the purples and blues until it completely transforms into the night sky in the darkest hour, you and Taehyung are tucked under the covers and wrapped up in each other’s arms, tangled limbs and tangled sheets alike. You are quiet, and Taehyung notices, bopping your nose affectionately.
As your nose scrunches up in reaction, Taehyung laughs. "What are you thinking about, sunshine?"
“I just... In another universe, do you think we’d fall in love with each other?” you quietly ask, letting the question settle into the silence as you trace invisible patterns on Taehyung’s chest. He lets his fingers glide up and down your arm in various swirls and lines absentmindedly, pondering over the inquiry with the most serious and concentrated expression you have ever seen him take on.
“I think we would,” he says at last, gazing at you softly. “I’d like to think that I’ll always fall in love with you regardless of any changes in time, distance, and coincidences.”
“I’d like to think so, too.” You smile up at him, and his heart skips a beat, and you can hear it thumping faster than ever out of his chest. He places a tender kiss on your forehead, and you can imagine your heart is racing just as fast as his.
"But," he speaks up, and your heart stops. "Even if we do love each other, the universe is not always kind. We may not end up with each other. And I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me.
"But I will always love you, sunshine."
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
You find yourself retracing your steps to the park Jungkook took you to last time. Taking deep breaths, you settle down at the same bench as before. The uncomfortable bulge from your phone in your back pocket reminds you that you had received a text message from Taehyung earlier, and you take out your phone, unlocking the screen to read it.
[6:51 pm] taetae: finally remembered to send you the vid i took at Jiminnie and Rys's wedding!!!!~ ^^
[6:51 pm] taetae: <video file attached>
"What video?" you wonder aloud before clicking on the video.
The soft strums of the guitar begin to play in the background as the beginning lyrics of Ed Sheeran's "Photograph" is heard. Your eyes widen, and the tears begin to form, tangling up with your lashes, and your vision becomes blurry when you see Jungkook pulling you onto the dance floor. He tugs you in tightly, arms wrapping around you safely, as the two of you sway back and forth. The video zooms in closer, and you want to cry when you notice that he was quietly singing the song to you.
You hate how you are not with Taehyung.
You hate how happy you look with him.
You hate how you can almost hear him singing to you.
You hate how he is making you feel.
But most of all, you hate yourself for not hating him at all.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
When you return, Jungkook is pacing around in the living room. You silently walk past him, retreating to your bedroom, and Jungkook leaves you alone, going into the guestroom. Changing out of your clothes, your heart lurches when you realize you pulled on one of Jungkook’s oversized white t-shirts. You clamber over to his empty side of the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed and closing your eyes, you feel so incredibly conflicted, holding your head in your hands.
Taehyung embodies the sun. Shining so brightly, he exudes warmth, happiness, and joy. He showers you in love and affection, surprising you with sweet love notes that render you into a puddly mess, carefully chosen bouquets of flowers, and perfectly thoughtful presents, like a pretty necklace that brings out the color of your eyes. He takes you on perfect dates with candlelit dinners and romantic walks at the beach. He is perfect—more than you can ever want or imagine—and makes you quite possibly the happiest woman in the universe. Every day is absolute, pure happiness with Taehyung.
But Jungkook… Jungkook, on the other hand, well, if Taehyung is the sun, Jungkook is the moon. He is subtler and quieter, but is still there, shining brighter than ever if you are willing to stay up for him, casting the softest of lights upon you. He makes you smile with his ridiculous antics and silly adventures. He surprises you with your favorite tub of ice cream and tries to make you dinner, even though he hates it. He secretly reads your favorite books in his spare time just so he can talk to you about them and see that bright spark in your eye when you talk about something you are so passionate about.
But he also makes you cry. He makes you scream and yell and fight. He makes you go through the entire range of emotions and even taps into emotions you realize you never had. He makes you feel sad, angry, loved, upset, jealous, excited, scared, annoyed, surprised, and so many more feelings. And that just makes the moments of happiness and exuberance all the more special to you.
Letting out a shaky breath, you open your eyes. Immediately, they are drawn to the slightly open drawer of the nightstand. You have rarely ever seen this drawer open, being as it was Jungkook’s possessions and you have never actually seen what he put there. But now, you can faintly make out the outlines of many simple, black moleskine notebooks. With your curiosity getting the better of you, you slide the drawer fully open.
Plucking out the first notebook, you flip it open to the first page, and the wind is knocked out of your lungs. A lump is starting to form in your throat as you stare down at the intricate drawing. Rifling through all the pages, you see more and more hand crafted images.
They are all pictures of you and him.
Carefully dated, Jungkook had drawn a small doodle of you and him every single day. And on the first page you are staring down at, it was the day you two first met. He had drawn the two of you in English class, sitting next to each other in your uniforms. The boy in the drawing is looking subtly, but still adoringly, at the girl next to him, who is diligently working on her paper. A picture of him shyly asking you out appears about forty pages later along with a slew of awkward first’s being inked across the papers that come up after that.
You relive your entire relationship, pouring over every page painstakingly slowly, each book representing one year. As you turn through each page, the tears begin to well up and the pictures start to blur. Going through every book, one by one, page by page, the ache in your heart grows exponentially larger and larger.
Picking up the last book, you open up to the first page. That day in particular was when the two of you had gone to the park, having a swing contest of who can get closer to the sky. Flipping to the next page, there is a picture of you cooking dinner while he carefully cuts up the vegetables next to you. There are several pictures of you playing with Cookie and Jungkook pouting in the background. Finally, you reach the last page. Looking down at the page dated today, a hiccupping sob slips through your teeth as you stare down at the beautifully drawn image before you.
Two people. One that is undeniably you and the other that is him. Sitting in two different rooms. A wall between the two.
A tear splashes onto the page, and you hurriedly wipe it off with the edge of your—or you suppose, Jungkook’s—shirt. You sit there, gazing at the picture in your lap, as your heart twists and turns in your chest.
You love him.
You are truly, unmistakably, undeniably, deeply, hopelessly in love with Jeon Jungkook.
Carefully putting back all the notebooks and closing the drawer, you slide off from the bed, your heart now ready to burst out from your chest for a new reason. Tiptoeing out of the room and down the hallway, you stop in front of the guestroom, slightly hesitating as your hand hovers over the doorknob. Taking several deep breaths, you twist the doorknob and enter the room, closing the door behind you with a soft click. Moonlight streams in through the window, illuminating the room with a soft glow and leading you easily to the bed. Sprawled out, Jungkook sleeps peacefully, hair mussed and dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks as even breaths come out between his lips.
You silently slip under the covers, reaching him within seconds. You rest your head on his chest, hugging him tightly and brushing away the last of your tears. Jungkook stirs in his sleep, and his arms wrap around you subconsciously. Suddenly aware of you next to him, he drowsily opens his eyes.
“_______? What—what are you doing?” he asks sleepily. Upon a closer look at your face, he becomes more alert, a more prominent panicked note in his voice. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, don’t cry.” Jungkook gently brushes away the tears that begin to form in the corners of your eyes. “Why are you saying sorry? There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“Yes, there is. A-all I’ve ever done is push you away and—and hurt you and you do nothing wrong. All you do is love me and all I do is hurt you. And you just took it all in. And, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Jungkook.” You harshly brush away at your tears, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“And god, I never realized how much I miss you until you aren’t with me, and everything comes crashing down, and I’m so scared, so terrified that I’m going to lose you. I messed up badly so many times, yet you’re still here. I got so used to you being there, but what if one day, you leave, and oh god, please don’t leave me. I don’t know what to do, how to even breathe without you. I realized that it’s you.
“I want your face to be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see every night. I want to share corny jokes with you and be that couple that we always complain about. I want to drink grape juice and eat chicken nuggets that you made even if I might get salmonella but I know you’ll drive me to the hospital. I want to make a competition out of everything with you, even if it’s just who can fold laundry the fastest. It’s you who I want to grow old with and live the rest of my life with, and if I have to listen to you talk about your Overwatch characters for hours when we’re eighty, then so be it. I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”
Laughing quietly at your last remark, he hugs you closely to his chest, pressing a kiss to your forehead tenderly. The two of you lay there quietly for a few moments before he breaks the silence. “You know, they’ll probably have a newer game when we’re eighty. Are you up for learning new characters then?”
You choke on your laugh, burying your face into his chest as your grip on him tightens. You can hear his heart thumping away faster than ever, and you know that your heartbeat matches his as well.
With your heart doing flip flops and cart wheels and a whole colony of butterflies plus an entire zoo in your stomach, you tilt your head upwards to see him as he gazes down at you adoringly in the very same way he did when he first saw you. You brush your fingers against his face lightly, skimming over the small scar on his cheek. The corners of your lips upturn as you give him the prettiest smile he has ever seen and cause his heart to skip a beat or maybe two.
With only millimeters measuring the space between his lips and yours, you close the gap as your eyes flutter shut. His naturally pink lips are softer than you ever imagined, pressing gently against yours. With your body intertwined with his, you can feel the thumping of his heart through his chest. Pulling away, you smile giddily as his eyes gaze at you with so much affection and his lips quirk into an identical smile.
“I love you, Jungkook.”
“I know.”
He gives you a mischievous glance, poking your side, and you laugh, skimming your fingers over his chest and tracing out the invisible letters of your confession.
“You know.”
“I know,” he repeats softly, reaching out to interlock your fingers with his. Your eyes meet his steady gaze as he smiles tenderly at you, and the realization hits you like a ton of concrete blocks when you finally discern the hidden meaning. All this time, he knew.
Flowers bloom in your chest as your heart sings and dances at this newfound understanding. Rendering you emotional, the tiniest of tears begin to well up in the corners of your eyes once more, and your cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so widely. Beaming back at you, Jungkook opens his mouth to say one more thing, but you hear nothing. There is absolute silence. Confused, you tilt your head, trying to tell him you do not understand but no words come out.
Suddenly, his expression changes into one of alarm and panic, and he is saying words to you that you still cannot catch. You signal him to slow down, and he repeats the same phrase over and over again but you cannot comprehend it. The edges of your surroundings begin to vanish, disintegrating into translucence. It creeps up closer and closer to you. You desperately reach out to him, tightening your embrace around him, but he seems to slip away with every heartbeat. An unusual, yet warm and pleasant, sensation takes over as your eyelids grow heavy.  You blink once, twice, and then, everything is gone.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Opening your eyes, you rub at them gently before staring up at the ceiling. There is an edgy feeling that you are forgetting something, but your mind merely draws a blank. Glancing over at Taehyung peacefully sleeping, you turn on your side to face him, curling up in his embrace before falling asleep again.
You dream of attending Hogwarts and playing in a quidditch match, going up against your Hufflepuff boyfriend. Taehyung continues to pout when you score against his team, but happily gives you a victory kiss in the end when your team wins, telling you that if only a certain cute Slytherin chaser did not keep distracting him, then Hufflepuff would have won.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The nagging feeling continues to pester you in the back of your head as you go through your day. You ignore it as you work, your clientele list stretching farther as your boss praises your work. You try to concentrate on sketching out your designs, but for some reason, you keep getting distracted. Countless doodles of an unfamiliar man with a boyish look and a bunny smile litter the edges of your paper. Groaning, you crumple up the piece of paper, throwing it into the waste bin under your desk where it joins several other squashed papers with similar drawings of that same man.
When you pass by the street stand selling lamb skewers on your lunch break, you pause, debating whether you should buy some or not. You never really had a craving for them before, but something draws you over to the stand where you purchase two sticks of nicely barbecued meat. Walking to the nearby park, you sit down on a bench, the light blue paint peeling off at the edges with a small tuft of wild daisies growing next to it. With one lamb skewer in each hand, you alternate, biting off a piece from each stick. Once you finish eating, you stand up and start to walk back to your workplace, failing to notice the tiny heart shaped carving with a pair of initials engraved into the wood where you sat only moments ago.
The heart begins to fade away, the wood becoming smooth and unblemished once more.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Fast forward seven days, and you decide to walk home instead of taking the metro this time after glancing overhead and seeing how the day is blessed with good weather. The sun gleams from its position in the azure sky, leaving soft kisses against your skin, as the light breeze whispers and twirls around you. You amble along the sidewalk, admiring the pretty cherry blossom trees that line the street. Several petals fall as the wind weaves through them, and they dance around you. You reach out as one falls perfectly into the palm of your hand. Smiling, you continue your walk home. At one point, you decide to take a break, your kitten heels decidedly not being the best pair of shoes to wear while taking a stroll.
The street is fairly busy, and you move to the side, stepping out of passerby’s way. Upon closer look at the building you are standing in front it, it looks vaguely familiar. The sleek, luxurious apartment building looms over you as you peer up at it. Furrowing your eyebrows slightly, you start counting the number of floors it has, ending up with nineteen. Huh, that is a strange number to end at, you muse.
Something tugs at your memory, and you find yourself pushing the one of the double glass doors and entering the building. A young man quickly brushes past you as he exits through the other door, murmuring a quick apology. He gives you a small smile, bunny teeth flashing for a millisecond and you are dazed, gaze transfixed on his retreating figure. A faint scent of vanilla and freshly done laundry lingers after he leaves, and for some unknown reason, it yanks at your heartstrings, stopping you in your tracks momentarily. Shaking your head lightly, you continue walking inside, the door closing behind you.
The cool, refreshing air inside contrasts with the warmth outside, and you cannot shake off the feeling that you have been in here before. The dark blue carpet masks the tapping sound of your heels as you make your way towards the front desk. A beautiful purple orchid potted plant stands in the corner of the desk, and you admire it briefly.
“How may I help you?” The woman behind the desk smiles pleasantly, and you return the friendly smile.
“I was just wondering if someone lives in the top floor penthouse?”
“Going apartment hunting, sweetie? I’m sorry, but the eighteenth floor penthouse isn’t on the market right now.” She looks apologetic. “We do have several large apartments available on the sixteenth and seventh floor though.”
“Ah, I meant the nineteenth floor penthouse, not eighteenth.”
She gives you a funny look. “We don’t have a nineteenth floor.”
“What? Are you sure?”
“Yes, we don’t have one.” She looks concerned, seeing the expression of absolute bewilderment painted across your face. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
“Wha—? Oh yes, I’m fine. Thank you for your time, and I’m sorry for my confusion.” You give her a tight smile, and she waves you good bye when you leave the building, more perplexed than ever.
Standing outside in the same spot you occupied previously, you look up at the building again.
Huh. There are only eighteen floors. You must have miscounted earlier.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Two weeks later, you walk past the building once more. This time, you are meeting up with your girlfriends for a drink and to catch up at the one of your favorite coffee shops. Glancing up again at the building, you could have sworn you counted nineteen floors the first time. Quietly sighing, you continue your trek to the café, lost in your thoughts.
The brass bell jingles overhead when you open the door, entering the warm atmosphere inside. With brick-like walls and bookshelves lining them along with bare lightbulbs hanging above in an aesthetic pattern, the waft of freshly brushed coffee brushes against your nose, and you inhale it in deeply, enjoying the homely scent. After ordering your favorite drink, you stride over to the minimalist wooden table in the corner where you spot your friends sitting.
“Hey, _______!” Ann greets you amicably as Rys and Elle wave. You greet them back, sliding into the last vacant seat.
“So what have you been talking about?” You cross your legs, leaning back into the chair comfortably. All three girls exchange looks of barely contained excitement—Rys, especially—and she bursts out, “Jimin proposed!”
Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise and your mouth is agape at her announcement. “Oh my god, congrats! Wow, I just—Rys, wow.”
“Oh, you don’t have to pretend,” Rys laughs, giving you a wink as she shows you the new chocolate gold band around her ring finger. “Jimin confessed that you helped him with picking and designing the ring.”
“O-oh, right.” You get a shaky feeling of déjà vu when you take a closer look at the ring, almost as if you have seen it before. You remember going with Jimin to the jewelers and explaining the details of the ring, but you never actually saw the final product until now. So how did you already have a perfect image of the ring on your mind that was a perfect replica to the ring shining prettily on Rys’s hand?
“Are you feeling okay, _______?” Elle pipes up, staring at you with a worried look etched on your face. “You’ve been really quiet for the past few weeks.”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just—” You are distracted momentarily, finding a folded piece of paper in the pocket of your bomber jacket. “Did I ever talk to you guys about someone…”
“Someone? Who?” prompts Ann, propping her head on her hand. Rys and Elle look at you expectantly, waiting for you to continue your sentence.
“Just… anyone strange? I don’t know, someone new?”
Elle furrows her eyebrows, “No, aside from talking about Taehyung, you never mention anyone new. Is something going on?”
But you stay silent, staring down at the paper you unfolded in your lap. It was one of your old, discarded papers for product designs dated five months ago. But what had you mesmerized was the miniature sketches doodled along the edges of some man you do not recognize. It was the same man you have been drawing now.
“Hey, who’s that?” asks Rys, glancing down at the paper. Ann and Elle look over, their interests piqued.
“Oh, he looks cute,” comments Ann before pausing, scrutinizing the drawing more closely. “But yeah, who is he?”
You stare at the picture, unmistakably drawn by yourself. You try to think back, but your mind somehow wanders to that stranger you passed in the building. Shaking your head slightly as if to clear your thoughts, you bite your lip, fingers tracing the image.
“I have no idea.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Stepping onto the train, you weave through the crowded space, making it to the other side. Holding onto one of the poles and jostling slightly, you stand next to the closed sliding door, Taehyung’s arm slipping protectively around your waist as he stands behind you.
The train adjacent to the one you are currently in—the one about to move in the opposite direction—has temporarily stopped for new passengers as well. Absentmindedly looking out the door’s windows, you are entirely disconcerted when your gaze is shockingly met with a rather familiar pair of eyes: kind, dark brown, large, doe-like ones.
With only two sheets of thin glass separating the two of you, you could have sworn you knew the young man from somewhere before, and an inexplicable ache finds solace in your heart. He is so achingly familiar to you, but you cannot recall when or where you managed to memorize someone who is so unforgettable, yet simultaneously someone you have never met.
His lips curve into the slightest of smiles at the corners, the minutest hint of his bunny-like teeth making an appearance, and your eyes are frantically scanning him for any clue, any indication, any allusion as to why you feel this way—why you feel so intertwined with a complete stranger. His eyes tinged with the barest traces of melancholy and nostalgia bore into yours, teeming with golden specks of untold stories that seem to thread the loose ends between you and him, and all the oxygen appears to have escaped from your lungs.
Your eyes widen in recognition, and Jungkook gives you one last smile—a full blown one that leaves you even more breathless as his nose scrunches up and his eyes form the prettiest pair of crescents that puts the moon to shame—before mouthing one small phrase consisting of eleven letters, three spaces, and infinite meaning: his final response to your first and last confession.
I love you, too.
The automated voice of the standard metro warning jolts you awake from your reverie, and you turn away to face Taehyung, the moment now broken, as the train starts to move.
“Are you okay, sunshine?” Taehyung whispers to you, worried about your unusually quiet state. His hand stretches out to overlap the one you have wrapped around the metal railing.
“Yes, I’m fine.” You pause momentarily. You peer over your shoulder for one last glance, but the familiar figure has disappeared, now a train or maybe worlds away. Reaching into your jacket’s pocket, your fingers curl around a small trinket—a child’s costume jewelry, really, something you can easily get from any twenty-five cent machine—a red, plastic, dinosaur ring.
Smiling fondly to yourself, you turn to place a tender kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, and he looks adoringly at you, the stars in the night sky seemingly captured in his eyes and shining only for you. Wrapping your arms around him gently, you rest your head on his shoulder, still smiling softly.
“Everything’s perfect.”
Perhaps, maybe someday, in someplace only we know, in between the looming alternate universes laced with iridescent ribbons of fairy tales and star dust, transcending the mystical forces of time and happenstance, we will meet again.
We will be ready for each other.
And we will fall in love once more.
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