#so in general they are more like a codepency-toxic relationship

[xjulixred45x]

This is a crazy drabble request. I love stirring the yandere pot unfortunately. Basically Yan Higuruma and Yan Nanami did something bad to Necro. They destroyed a sentimental item from her days as a necromancer and she was so hurt emotionally they ran to one of the "safe" adults she knew which is Shoko or Kusakabe. She refuses to see them and I am curious how they will handle it and try to get Necro's forgiveness

ANGST TIMEEEEE!!!

Platonic Yandere Nanami/ Higuruma x Necro! Reader: you'll be Back.

She had forced their hand.

It was her fault that this happened, not them.

What else were they supposed to do? When she had done nothing but disrespect them day and night? When she had tried to leave their side when all they wanted was to help her? save her! and yet she had the audacity, the courage to make them see themselves as the bad guys....

is what they both repeated to themselves while their home was in an unusual state of tranquility, whether for better or worse, the house always had some type of noise (laughter, chatter, crying, shouting...) but For some time now the disturbing sensation was replaced by tension.

Both Kento and Higuruma were fighting so hard not to explode at each other, not to let all that repressed anger come out and continue to maintain the calm man façade, but it was extremely difficult without the only thing that normally held them together.

reader.

who had recently fled, and to make matters worse, it seemed that he was constantly changing locations in order to avoid them and not see them (with good reasons that they did not understand) with people whom they had to put up with for the sake of their relationship with their daughter.

But it was already taking its toll on them, they couldn't live like that.

how did they come to this?

They were aware that the nature of their relationship with Reader was not healthy, normal, or even good for any of them, but despite everything they had done to her, Reader returned to them, and they could not live without her. It was a vicious circle.

but it seems that the reader underestimated the nosibity and how far the jealousy of the two psychopaths with whom she shared a roof could go.

It was simply an ancient gadget, given to them by their original parents, perhaps that's why both Kento and Higuruma had some animosity towards it, but they didn't do anything especially questionable...until one day a fight escalated and became especially hectic.

The reader wanted to believe, she really wanted to believe that it hadn't been on purpose, that it had been an honest mistake and that they would apologize to her in some way. but said apology never came, and they acted as if nothing had happened, like when she threw a "tantrum" they ignored her screams, it was exactly the same, but she thought it would be different...

and the only thing she received was a hardened look and a "we are the only family you need, everything else is worthless" from those who had stolen her from said life in the first place..

It was too much...

and deep down Nanami and Higuruma knew it.

They knew that what they had done was wrong, of the damage it caused, that they had to refrain from going after the reader and trying to help her collect the remains of her relic, that they would have liked to have done it another way, but they were so closed to each other that They couldn't even begin to describe that...

and now there was the question of what they would do to get the reader back, there had to be a way, but it would be almost impossible with people like Kusakabe or Shoko around, they couldn't risk losing this opportunity, not again, not now.

They were both sides of the same coin, two opposite extremes, but they couldn't live without it. Without HER.

They need him, they hated each other, she hated them, deep down, they KNEW it.

They knew that the reader would surely be better off with the safe adults who generated so much rejection, they knew that the reader would be a better sorceress than either of them could become if they let her. They knew she had so much potential, a possible life and future ahead of her AND THEY DIDN'T CARE!

No matter how many times they said or convinced themselves that this time would be different, it wasn't, because they would never let her be happy with someone other than them.

They were monsters, but they managed to forget that with the reader. and that was the only thing that mattered.

If others have to suffer, if SHE has to suffer, then so be it. They are going to be selfish. As many times as it takes to be happy, they WILL be selfish.

Until then they would have to find some kind of comfort and guidance in the overwhelming silence of the house, a silence that they themselves brought. while they dreamed of what would be the beautiful melody of a home again.

It was the only thing they had in common after all...

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

I'll try to make some Requests AND indulge in My Hades hyperfaction for now. Ok? Ok

[misszarves]

cheating on my tech fast (newsfash assholes! I was cheating the whole time!) to vent a little about emotional sobriety/emotion management/codependcy etc etc

I would never deny that it’s been a gift to come to be able to identify my emotions, separate myself from them, analyze them, otherwise interrupt the process of being totally overwhelmed by them. that’s some important shit. 

but I’m thinking now about how much of that work I’ve put in order to avoid “freaking out” in front of other people, ie to mask my autism and ADHD and to avoid being seen as a “crazy woman” in general. and that makes me fucking livid. 

you know what else pisses me off? that I have to do all this goddamn work to set up boundaries (like, internal, emotional ones, not necessarily ones that have to be verbalized) with troublesome people in my life (I’m not going to use the word toxic bc I’m sick of it and I think it’s actually of very limited usefulness) (also it’s stigmatizing as fuck) to the point of short-circuiting the process of mourning or even “freaking out” in response to their treatment of me instead of being able to just put the blame where it belongs and call it a day!

I’m aware OF COURSE that various techniques for emotion management are always supposed to involve feeling and validating emotions as a first step, rather than repressing them and/or shaming oneself for feeling them. but that’s the thing about ADHD at least, we feel emotions more intensely, over a longer period, and with less ability to set aside or shut off intense emotions on a temporary basis (hence why, for example, people like me are always crying at work and school, not just on particularly stressful days). we hurt worse when people fucking hurt us!

and I’m just at a point, maybe bc I’m pregnant and hormonal, where particularly this thing with R is crying out for some real deep mourning. like wailing and crying and not being able to get out of bed for a while kind of stuff, because I’m in love with him and I am fucking heartbroken and disappointed and I miss the shit out of him. is that not okay all of a sudden? am I not allowed to be sad about a breakup because the relationship didn’t last very long or because it’s been long enough (it’s been barely two months, and he has been stringing me along continuously literally up until today) OR because I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style/codepency issues/low self-esteem etc etc?

like at a certain point I have to live with my limitations, none of which are even my fucking fault, instead of CONSTANTLY trying to change them, even in the name of “healing” and “recovery”. that crap gets to a point where *it* is toxic. I don’t want to be different than what I am. I want to keep feeling things deeply and loving people hard. I have worked really, really hard to keep these tendencies from affecting other people -- probably too hard, to the point where men especially have been able to walk all over me and take advantage of me because god forbid any poor little man have to deal with a CLINGY FEMALE! if I’m doing that boundary work then you know what? my private feelings are my private goddamn business.

anyway R is an asshole and so is jake gyllenhaal, this post was inspired by taylor swift’s snl performance of the long version of all too well, and I’m going to go “freak out” ok thanks