#so in that sense they are similar in being mean - janis just has a valid reason to be (tho it doesnt discount telling the new kid to spy) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkscowardschampions · 1 year

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Casey & Janis Pt.5

Janis: [‘He ain’t trained enough to eat in, even in a gentrified fur baby inclusive place’ nodding like you’re right and it’s Chubby’s fault not yours, because he isn’t trained at all so he would probably wee on the floor as well as be after everyone’s food lmao ‘you’ve got no in with the yummy mummies yet’ like soz boy, you’re stuck with us for company]

Casey: [‘sort of lad who deserves breakfast in bed anyway, aren’t you, mate?’ at Chubby as he loves upon him again because he’s such a good boy who we love BIG ‘but don’t be getting no ideas, bollocks name like that won’t mean you can eat ‘em, bit frowned upon even in these circles, that, like’ with an exaggerated eye roll like I know I know you should be able to because they’re all gonna be such dickheads and gentrification is all about taking over so it feels unfair, lol I can’t wait for when Asia is having a baby at the same time as you guys, that’ll amuse me so much]

Janis: [rolling your own eyes and shaking your head at these antics but in a far more loving way because you’re such a big nerd and we love to see it ‘dashed his dreams, there’ like what a poor baby]

Casey: [‘Oi, don’t say that, I’ll owe him more than sausage and bacon then’ like shhh, with the gentlest nudge because the tablets have not kicked in yet and don’t hurt yourself please]

Janis: [‘have to watch what you say around kids’ like that’s a minus right there for a start, giving him the same gentle nudge back ‘and they always want more’]

Casey: [‘it’s alright, kids of mine’ll want for nothing’ looking at her in a way that’s almost a LOOK because he said as much to her earlier with the he’d do anything of it all so, keeping to his word of being a daddy to everyone there ‘can have anything’ this is where it becomes a full LOOK]

Janis: [brushing our hand against yours here ‘aren’t you worried they’ll be spoilt brats?’ as a genuine question even though it sounds like more saucy talk because we’re blushing at the memory that comes with exchanging LOOKS]

Casey: [‘it’s not like anybody else’ll giving them their own way all the time’ because that’s life too and not how it works unless you’re rich af which is not what we’re saying about jc ever ‘be chuffed if I manage it’]

Janis: [‘you will’ because we don’t doubt it ‘you’re obviously the pushover’ because have to keep it light, can’t be too real about it]

Casey: [🤨+😏 ‘you reckon?’ when you gotta have a lil playfight and try and push her over even though you’re clearly in pain still so it’s the softest one ever and so much more saucy and romantic for it]

Janis: [obviously we’re focusing more in keeping upright than ‘fighting’ you back because no, need to be careful whilst we have the good sense to be because lord knows you forget when you’re too far gone, nevertheless the ‘I know it’ has to be said]

Casey: [‘some things might just be for you’ because she said a very similar thing when he said about sharing her with footballers so I must, as he’s blowing her hair out of her face in a saucy way like but don’t get it twisted I could literally blow you over you’re that soft for me]

Janis: [‘I don’t wanna share’ doing such a real pout about it like soz you’re already pregnant girl, you’ll live, putting your hair dramatically over your face again so he has to move it back]

Casey: [moving her hair so gently with his hand this time because his mouth is too busy thanks to having to pull her on pouty bottom lip and suck and bite it all very deliberately and as soft ‘you’re still gonna be my baby too’]

Janis: [‘don’t you like having all my attention?’ however that sounds with our lip being played with and the effect that’s having on our breathing ‘I don’t know what it’s like to share you, not really’ because he does know but the closest we got was exgate and we tried to avoid you, as shortlasted as it was]

Casey: [‘I’ll have it for ages, you said yourself’ shoutout to when she called baby Jac a thing but the point is valid, you’re barely pregnant rn gal there’s loads of time ‘no need to share sod all’ kissing her whilst smiling like it’s okay, don’t worry about it yet]

Janis: [‘polite way of telling me it’s stupid to be jealous of a baby’ like I know, I know but we’re still kissing you with the intensity needed to convey that we are in this moment, soz not soz]

Casey: [‘it’s not stupid for the idea of everything changing to do your head in’ has barely pulled away from all the kisses because does not want to ‘it is mine an’ all that I’ve had you for no time, for how much of it I could’ve if I’d just-’ cutting himself off to kiss her again obvs]

Janis: [‘We could’ve had years’ because we know at least since the wedding things haven’t been right ‘I’m sorry’ because it isn’t ideal but we know we can’t get rid of Baby Jac so it’s just how it is, yet again kissing you like we don’t have somewhere to be because want you to know how badly we wish you had, that we had]

Casey: [‘I’m sorry, but kicking myself over every chance I never took won’t take me back there to do them again’ another pause to kiss dramatically ‘we’re here, we finally fucking did it, that’s what matters’ and of course then carrying on the most dramatic makeout sesh of all time until Chubby sees something and almost does pull her over and he unthinkingly and immediately helps to save her in a cinematic manner because always but it needs to be teamwork baby cos that matters to me and is their entire vibe, not just him catching her like a damsel in distress]

Janis: [‘It was mutual’ because could’ve just as easily done something but it wasn’t an easy decision so you didn’t and that is what matters so we’re nodding and doing a little happy crying into this makeout until we are rudely interrupted by this dog like excuse me sir, are going to scowl at you a bit even though it ain’t your fault]

Casey: [the way he’s doing the checking her over thing they do SO intensely even though he should know damn well she’s not hurt cos it was a split second and you both reacted perfectly to stop her being, not to mention he’s also wiping away the happy tears from before that he didn’t get chance to as if Chubby’s caused them now with his naughty antics, before also looking at him like rude ‘you’re down some bacon now, dickhead’ at him like you’ve lost yourself a slice for that behaviour sir I hope it makes you think about what you did lol]

Janis: [this will amuse us enough to flap away your concern and wipe these tears away more like it’s all good, we’re okay ‘he’s sick of the pitstops, obviously’ looking at this dog like politer ways to let it be known but fine, we’ll keep walking]

Casey: [nevertheless he will be reaching for your hand gal, however creatively and therefore adorably you have to handhold cos of these injuries]

Janis: [looking at you for a sec to check you’re not just gritting through the pain and how you’re doing it is actually comfortable before giving your hand the lightest of squeezes like hey]

Casey: [giving her such a genuine smile and hearteyes in return because gotta, he’s so full of love, not soz, just walking and handholding with someone you never thought you’d get to be a couple with nbd]

Janis: [it’s wild, I also don’t know what you would do if someone you knew saw you right now, which is definitely bound to happen so remind me of that fact because yeah, you’re out here being coupley now]

Casey: [we definitely do need to do that because it would happen sooner rather than later I’m sure but we’ll give you rn because it would be too cruel to force you to address it at this precise moment]

Janis: [ooh the goss that we’re not even worrying about right now because more important things but no, it doesn’t need to be now, there is enough to contend with and we need to get breakfast, tah, so Janis get in there and get this food]

Casey: [keep this dog out of trouble meanwhile boy, we all know you’re a big nerd and you’ll just be trying to teach him a new trick while you wait]

Janis: See if he can earn back that 🥓

Casey: [a voicenote cos he can’t type as per ‘I will do if nowt else’]

Janis: Your breakfast wasn’t being held for ransom, you’ve behaved

Casey: [‘dickheads getting a show from their cars should be who’s paying for it but what can you do’ lol imagine, they wouldn’t be hurling money sir only insults]

Janis: 🤞 some of those dickheads were my clients and they’ll tip me later

Casey: [‘When you off back?’ sir that doesn’t make sense as a sentence but okay, I don’t talk properly either so who am I to judge]

Janis: I’m not on a proper break really, should be there sooner rather than later now he don’t need us

Casey: [‘but I need you’ blurting that out as though this isn’t a voicenote you could just not send]

Janis: [just turning in this queue to look at you so !!]

Casey: [obviously looking back at her with as much !!]

Janis: do you mean it or

Casey: [‘I don’t mean I’ll chuck myself into the road if you say nah ‘cause you’ve got bills to pay but’ a pause and then another voicenote ‘yeah, I’m not ready for you to just go back to touching up footballers’]

Janis: [deffo smiling down at our phone]

Janis: then I’ll see what I can do, work it out officially

Casey: [smiling so big in her direction that she’ll be able to feel it even if she isn’t looking any more]

Janis: You’re going to ruin my reputation, dickhead

Casey: [‘don’t say ruin, you’re gonna have me wanting to do all sorts to you’ the way that’s a voicenote she has to play, soz everyone else]

Janis: it’s a good thing we aren’t staying

Janis: no one in here is keen enough on that idea

Casey: [‘they’re only jealous I’ve got better ideas you’re mad keen on’]

Janis: I’m keen on how you sound

Casey: [‘and how’s that?’ as if you don’t know lol]

Janis: how you always do, like you wanna ruin me

Casey: [‘I’m trying well hard not to be fuming I can’t hear you’ as if she’s SO far away because he’s clingy like that]

Janis: [voice note whisper ‘don’t be mad’]

Casey: [‘be out here with me’ as if she can ‘no point having kids if you’ve gotta then keep on with everything by yourself’ as if baby Jac or Chubby can hold the fort waiting for this food]

Janis: [actually wait the couple minutes it’ll take for your order to be ready because it can’t be that long and then come out and give him the hearteyes you had to stop giving him from inside this cafe]

Casey: [will be kissing her like he hasn’t seen her for a million years, no notes, we all know Chubby will be equally buzzing]

Janis: [‘I missed you’ and we mean it, even though we’re laughing at both of you ‘before it gets cold’ as you’re passing him his share of whatever breakfast-y vibe you’ve gone for, Chubby you gotta learn to wait sir]

Casey: [I don’t even need to say at this point that he’s gonna be kissing her and eating it at the same time, we know who they are, bold of you to be this coupley and gross where anybody could walk past who knows you but I said we’re letting you off today and we shall]

Janis: [and you’re so welcome because it’s already a bad look for y’all without giving a literal show about it lmao, sorry they’re too loved up to give any concern to anyone else in the world atm, just behaving like feral children]

Casey: [too loved up to give a fuck my boo says and she’s so correct, you’ll have the excuse to keep it moving at the scene Chubby’s causing cos of being denied any food eventually at least, he’s just a baby and he’s a cross one]

Janis: [‘your training starts here’ like nay nay sir, this is not how life is gonna be lmao, we’re laying down the law and then licking some food off Casey’s face when we could’ve used our thumb to wipe it]

Casey: [‘hang on look, I’ve showed him this while you were gone’ and whatever simple quick trick you managed because he’s a smart boy actually and I already said Casey taught him to come and sit to a click or something like that I vaguely recall, BUT getting adorably flustered because of her licking him so it takes a sec to demo whatever this is]

Janis: [😏 at you being flustered but also impressed and proud at this new trick so giving Chubby praise and a tiny bit of our food and giving you a kiss where we just licked you a second ago ‘he’s not bad, really, few months and he’ll be able to get in anywhere’]

Casey: [‘send him while you put your feet up’ she really still won’t be that pregnant by then but it’s your kink boy so I’ll let you imagine + you loved treating her like she was 90 years old just before you got together we all remember]

Janis: [‘have no clients left if I took that long off’ tucking yourself in by his side like you wish babe]

Casey: [a sigh that he was hoping sounded more bants than it actually does because he really is dreading when y’all have to go back to work and face real life and all of that instead of just being feral hogs together all day]

Janis: [‘being an adult is shit’ like yeah I know ‘guess it was easier when you could spend a shift finding the next girl?’ it sounds judgy written out but we just mean it genuinely like yeah, that must’ve been an easy distraction]

Casey: [shaking his head ‘this is what comes easy to me’ because it’s true, y’all really have taken to being a couple like you’ve been one way longer than you have and we know damn well he was hating life before ‘being an adult with you is never gonna be as shit as when I were a kid without’]

Janis: [when that was what you didn’t even know you needed to hear today but it so was and you can’t hide your affection if you wanted to ‘it doesn’t have to be monotonous and hard going, not when we have each other properly’]

Casey: [‘it’ll be like when you came back early for me, except neither of us have binned work off or are hiding in the garden on a comedown and sometimes I’ll be the one with all your faves for you’ because remember when he got his gf and that happened, before it lead to icecube gate and all the drama it was really sweet]

Janis: [‘I could repeat that day’ because we do remember and yes, we loved that day ‘only needs a few adjustments to be perfect’]

Casey: [‘have to see if the hotel can get us [whatever film they watched that day that was one of his tween faves] or [a film that was one of her faves in the same time period] on its crap telly’]

Janis: [just casually buzzing ‘proper sick day, like’ because you are skiving once again but it is for a better cause now at least, even if you’ve not told anyone what that cause is yet ‘we should get some ice packs actually, that’d be good for the swelling’]

Casey: [‘fingers crossed you don’t get another proper headache’ said like he wouldn’t be gutted at all if she did though because he LOVED looking after her that day when she did and we all know it ‘be adding candles and sherry to the list’ because RIP to all of us when he ran her that bath]

Janis: [‘you do need to rub antiseptic all over my back and that’ that blatantly being your ass we know where he was hitting you lmao ‘but if you wanna keep looking after me, I could be convinced’ because we all remember how mutually into it you were]

Casey: [not this boy literally lifting her top up to have a look at her back exposing it to whoever might be walking along this street with y’all, at least he isn’t showing them all your ass I suppose gal, but still, rubbing his finger really gently over the marks there like he needs to prove how well he’s gonna do it when they’re back cos that’s what she meant by needing to be convinced]

Janis: [‘how does it look?’ because why be offended when you could be turned on, like you are by everything he does, just trying to twist your body so you can see and make eye contact as he’s touching you]

Casey: [‘how’s it feel?’ cos duh he’s as turned on by it and it wasn’t like he could see them at the time from where he was even if he wasn’t distracted af so it’s !! cos basically hitting him for the first time, pressing a bit harder as he asks, obvs]

Janis: [biting our lip to stop a noise coming out as you’re pressing down ‘it was a slow build sort of pain, you know? Scratching until it felt like it was burning’ moving his hand to another, more fucked up injury from this tree trunk like press there because blatant]

Casey: [letting a noise of his own come out at what she said because when has he ever given a single fuck and he wasn’t expecting that level of a detailed answer, likewise no hesitation in using his thumb where she directed to really do the most]

Janis: [‘Casey’ as a plea here and now because if his actions weren’t getting you, his noises always do ‘tell me how it felt’ we obviously mean the business with the branches]

Casey: [‘you wanna know what it felt like?’ and before she can answer, and as always with no regard for their surroundings just fully tonguing these back wounds as a means to even try to explain the !! factor of branchgate]

Janis: [there’s 0 chance of you holding in the noise you need to make this time because he caught you fully off guard with that and you are not okay, having to steady yourself however you’re able to at the time ‘fuck!’]

Casey: [soz gal but he had to cos he was caught off guard by the branch antics in the best way and why use words when you can use feral actions, really going for this because her reactions only ever spur him on and we can be kind and say y’all walked enough that you’re not in the hustle and bustle any more as if that means it’s fine for him to be lowkey bending her over the nearest available thing while he’s doing it and really pressing his body into the ones on her ass, I’m picturing a housing estate and like an electric box or something but idk, not important]

Janis: [we’re here giving you all the control, on our tiptoes so we’re pushing even harder into what you’re doing to us, holding our ankles ‘it was like being licked by fire, I need you to do it to me more’ of course this takes an age to come out and be fully coherent ‘if you were inside me, that would be heaven’]

Casey: [‘do it to me’ blurted out with 0 hesitation because why would there be, he wants everything to be mutual always and for them to feel what each other does, saying ‘when’ like a * because we all know he’s making that happen rn immediately, soz everyone and surroundings be damned, thank god you’ll all be at work by now]

Janis: [thank god because the casual scream we do is anything but and completely unholy ‘fuck me like you want it and I’ll show you how you’ll take it like a good slut too’]

Casey: [you’ll should be getting paid fr because what a show you’re putting on, just absolutely wilding out as if you’re in the privacy of your own home despite very much not being, oh lads, small mercy those painkillers will have kicked in, not a moment too soon]

Janis: [we just cannot be tamed in this era, the chill has left the chat and we’re just telling you everything we’ll do to you whilst losing it further ‘why am I such a whore for you? You’ve broken me’]

Casey: [just telling her to ‘get it all out’ again lowkey over and over, those sacred words, like that’s why sis too much pent up shit and too vanilla of a man, we all know, as he’s also losing it fully here, thank god the unhinged loud noises will be muffled slightly by how busy his mouth is still going at her back injuries whilst his hands do the booty ones cos you sadly can’t contort your body to lick there from this position and with these ribs]

Janis: [‘I would let you do anything to me, would’ve in that car’ remembering your first hook up has you arching your back into him so hard ‘there was no going back’ when you are free to run your mouth and are being entirely too loud as a result, gonna have to start biting your arm]

Casey: [oh their first hookup, how iconic, all the mems have him feeling the exact same way, obvs and he could not be fucking her deeper if he tried ‘there were no going back from [whatever the first moment from the icecubegate day was that y’all really pushed the boundary, I’d have to re-read to remember what it was but we get my point, even before y’all’s first hookup]’ would actually be hilarious and ridiculous how long it would take him to say that for all the reasons, but it isn’t to you two it’s only hot af]

Janis: [‘you know I’ve always done whatever you asked since we met’ because true the casual lack of hesitation on icecubegate day to come home said it all and we’re FINE thinking about this rn]

Casey: [‘me an’ all, whatever you’ve wanted’ because the added you don’t and haven’t even have needed to ask cos it’s so real, literally since he was 12 he’s just out here doing whatever he’s told or whatever it’s clear she wants and we have no regrets about this, soz anyone who thinks we should]

Janis: [‘am I a bad person if I’m about to cum after hearing that?’ blurting that out like but really because damn ‘you deserve everything I’m gonna give you, baby’]

Casey: [‘you’re a bad girl if you don’t’ would be bantsy if not for everything y’all are doing rn and therefore how sincerely he means that ‘it’d be fucked of us to cum over the worst of what that tree gave you though, yeah?’ me like don’t jizz over her injuries thank you sir for the love of god]

Janis: [‘I’m your good girl now’ so insistent like no, I would never let you down, that would be the worst thing I could do, thus shaking our head and being deliberate with how we’re moving our entire body with it ‘cum on me and give me worse, I wanna hurt with you’]

Casey: [you know he’s got issues when that’s the most romantic thing he’s ever heard but it is and I get it, such a relief she cannot see he’s doing his can’t cry but would if I could and am doing all the big blinks etc gestures for it at the sheer !! of his emotions about that, quickly distract her and yourself by making both of you cum and you doing it in exactly that extra of a manner]

Janis: [gonna have to have you fall on your ass so you actually take a second to comedown even slightly this time because that was intense for you both, even by your standards, just catching your breath here and scanning you to make sure you’re okay, or at least the right side of NOT OKAY]

Casey: [my boo says CALM DOWN you heathens and I couldn’t agree more, it’s not even night which would make this slightly better, and y’all have once again forgotten poor Chubby exists, what is he tied to or when did you drop his lead and how far has he wandered? Questions you fools aren’t asking yourselves, get your tea you ordered with breakfast and drink it mr, maybe then you’ll find chill, it’ll probably still be boiling hot, takeout teas are always hotter than hell]

Janis: [why are they so hot, they’re impossible to drink, especially in the styrofoam cups, they’re the worst for it, I hope that Chubby has lingered because truly, you’re being very irresponsible lmao, at least when you have a place to live you won’t be doing all this mess and dragging this dog along for the ride; and you do have the whistle/clicker thing so use that to get him back and give him the breakfast you didn’t finish as a bribe]

Casey: [so cute that you brought the gift into it, I see you boo, hopefully he wasn’t far and the worst he’s done is slightly fuck up a randomers garden or some other area you’ll never have to worry about, give him all the love too because you CANNOT look at her rn you still feel too !!]

Janis: [we’re not going to hurt this little bub in any way just ‘cos y’all are wildin’, not soz, it’s our story and we do as we want to, still, you should not linger here so get yourself up girl and back into that hotel room ASAP]

Casey: [mhmm, it’d be realistic but I REFUSE, anyone but Chubby, I love him with all my heart thank you, and so does Casey he just can’t help being a feral bitch, y’all will calm down slightly soon it’s just been literally no time since you got together and that’s really important to remember]

Janis: [like I don’t think it’s even been 2 weeks yet, could count all the convos and work it out but like, pretty sure and that’s the whole point, we’re basically in shock but in a good way lmao]

Casey: [exactly, nevertheless, Winnie says get marching, you can’t be that far from the hotel because you’d have picked somewhere close by for both this dog walk and breakfast moment, for me it’s the total silence because he’s shooketh by the intensity of everything that just occurred lol, walking and sipping that tea trying not to drop it cos can barely hold the cup, do it 2 handed like me hun you’ll be okay]

Janis: [at least you aren’t insecure like that with him girl or you could really be thinking you did something wrong in this silence lmao; but we can tell that isn’t the vibe hence we aren’t pushing anything, not to mention we’re as entirely shook ourselves and need the moment too; and at least your legs are basically fine boy because we do need to get inside pretty sharpish because even with our clothes tugged back down, we’re fully aware that we are covered in your cum rn and we don’t need anyone bored on reception getting that welcome]

Casey: [it may be a shithole of a hotel but have some decorum please, get to your room and in the bath/shower before all those scratches on your back get infected gal, he’ll be coming at you with antiseptic but knowing you both you’ll get distracted by vivid flashbacks when he does so actually get clean first, lowkey you should too boy, the state of you by now]

Janis: [I imagine it’s a bath with a really shit shower vibe because that’s generally the vibe with older/outdated places, which will be an effort to get you in sir ‘one way to get you to miss that gaff’ like this is not convenient at all, sorry]

Casey: [‘let you be a real nurse though’ as if she’s gonna spongebath him every time he needs]

Janis: [‘I should retrain’ because of course we will, honestly working around your bandages it would be easier, until you can’t bear not having a proper wash and then we’ll take ‘em off and get you under this terrible shower]

Casey: [‘fuck that, I’d see you even less’ cos imagine, it’s already a nightmare he has a night job and her a day one]

Janis: [‘clients would be less fit’ as if we’ve ever fancied any of these footballers lol]

Casey: [‘and you’d be touching a load more of ‘em up’ cos nursing is pretty grim lbr]

Janis: [making a face like oh no, you caught me lmao ‘I’m not known for my bedside manner by basically anyone else so’]

Casey: [‘make a lad feel special, you’ saying it a lot less shady than when the girls were fighting just before he showed up here lol]

Janis: [‘don’t you?’ raising a brow like we’re simply amused and not like but really because of when you said it before]

Casey: [‘it’s one of’ because she makes him feel everything we all know]

Janis: [‘you can run me a bath again then’ like good, in the realest way possible]

Casey: [I gotta have it be noted that he’s blushing a lil bit cos thinking about how special he felt not long ago when those feral antics were occurring and she said the most romantic thing he’d ever heard, even though he’s off to run her a bath cos gotta do what he’s told always, because however a fleeting of a glimpse, we all know she’ll see it]

Janis: [we are OBSESSED with you blushing like we didn’t just behave that ferally on the streets in broad daylight, its so you twos vibe and its adorable honestly, hence we’re following you into the bathroom and giving you a cuddle from the back]

Casey: [getting this bath sorted out and generally behaving like she isn’t hugging him until it’s running and then of course he’s turning around to fully hug her properly, he’s a hugger for her only, he’s gotta]

Janis: [‘you okay?’ saying it v casually but we do wanna know if you hurt yourself any more in said feral antics and that you’re also not too shook by what we said/did, giving you a quick kiss]

Casey: [a noise like yeah from within the hug to keep it casual ‘you?’ being said post kiss before he turns it into more of one]

Janis: [‘am now’ like it’s been too long since you last kissed in any way at all]

Casey: [the way he’s just immediately sitting on the edge of this bath and making her sit on him to kiss more like he didn’t choose the most precarious surface to do so in this entire bathroom and there isn’t a toilet right there y’all used earlier and could’ve again, oh sir I despair, I really do]

Janis: [my boo says if you fall in this tub, I am not responsible dickhead lmao, we’re going to be kissing you very soft and chaste and barely putting any weight on you as a result but how bad we clearly wanna do more will make it a mood ‘when we have a place, we’ll make sure there’s an amazing shower too’ between these kisses]

Casey: [remember when I did and got that big bruise, be careful you fool, thank god she is being ‘I’ll get myself retrained an’ all’ like he’s gonna become a builder or plumber or interior designer or architect or whatever lol, we know you LOVE your job hun]

Janis: [very softly pulling his lip into your mouth and sucking on it so you don’t break the skin but to express that you want more than you can do rn ‘you’re perfectly trained’ shaking your head and also not letting go of his lip to say this]

Casey: [the softest sigh because he clearly wanted more too before she even did that and those antics are doing the opposite of making him wanna be careful as per but I’m putting my foot down and saying once again there’s no way you wouldn’t be hurting from being that feral so you simply can’t sir]

Janis: [we know we gotta calm down, can’t help being a little pouty about it but it’s obviously @ these injuries and Ian and not @ you, peeling yourself off him very carefully and stepping towards the door ‘see what the mini bar has in place of sherry’]

Casey: [‘is there a mini bar?’ like bants but also this place is such a shithole clearly that it’s a fair question, with the tone of I can go back out and find a shop if you want, because always doing too much, never chilling]

Janis: [‘focus on my bath, you’ like I’ve got this because assumedly you’ve worked out if there is or isn’t, and you don’t really need a drink drink anyway, so even if you just get y’all something you got from the shops on your run last night, the point is attempting space you don’t wanna have but need]

Casey: [‘go cold if you piss off now’ as if she’s gonna run away to the shops this second, I think not sir it’s okay]

Janis: [‘I’m not going anywhere’ and throwing an item of clothing into the bathroom to prove your point]

Casey: [I just imagine Chubby thinking she’s playing and chasing after said item of clothing to then carry it away so that would amuse him and he’d be loling and playing with this pup as if tug of war isn’t dangerous to you and to these clothes]

Janis: [just stood there like excuse me sirs ‘I don’t look enough of a state’ like let us not rip my clothes, ‘cos god knows how many you have with you currently]

Casey: [‘you look-’ not being able to finish his sentence because he made the mistake of stopping messing around with this dog long enough to actually look at her and is stunned by how stunning she is as he always is, doing the most dramatic swallow of all time about it]

Janis: [‘you can look’ after just looking back at you in silence for however long we can bear doing that, taking off whatever item of clothing you still had on without breaking said eye contact]

Casey: [don’t mind him, he’ll just be here looking at her forever while the bath overflows and she freezes to death because cannot look away]

Janis: [we will be here feeling like we’re doing a full body blush but we’re not going to turn away]

Casey: [eventually you will have to walk over to her and lead her to the bathroom for this bath for the throwback of when he did when he ran her the other bath even though he had no need because it’s her house and she knows exactly where it is, as I remember us saying in brackets at the time lol]

Janis: [we all saw through that thinly veiled excuse neither of you was actually making and we also all loved it lmao, like we do now when this can’t be more than 10 steps let’s be honest]

Casey: [so glad you have a thinly veiled excuse to stay cos gotta wash her back for her as she won’t be able to reach properly cos having to leave that day was heartbreaking]

Janis: [y’all were devastated but today is not that day and you can take your time with that, boy, you will both enjoy it]

Casey: [it’s always a cute and caring moment but for you pair it’ll also be a hot one, so yeah, you’re both welcome, love that he’ll have to be really slow and deliberate about it cos his own injuries when really he would’ve anyway just cos he wants to]

Janis: [just making little sounds that would be unclear if you’re into it or it’s stinging because it’s definitely both, lay on your stomach in this water so you don’t have to lay them against what is probably not the cleanest of tubs and he can do this for as long as he pleases ‘I’ll get the ice for you after’ like you also deserve a pamper/relax boy]

Casey: [being softer about it after she makes those sounds as if softness doesn’t kill you both harder than literally anything, also doing her booty cos he can when she’s laying like that and so why wouldn’t he ‘tah’ but said like ILY because he do]

Janis: [‘I should be saying it to you…’ because have we relaxed at all since the drama really popped off, no, not even a little]

Casey: [‘go on then’ but playfully because obvs she doesn’t actually need to and he isn’t doing it for that]

Janis: [‘rookie mistake not waiting for me to show you’ 😏 but we are also playing because we know we’ve gotta attempt to chill, regardless of how we feel]

Casey: [splashing her like oi but doing it in the softest manner ever so it’s more like he’s just trailing his hand in the water and then stroking her face v lovingly]

Janis: [putting your face in his hands lowkey and just looking up at him adoringly ‘what would I do without you’]

Casey: [‘we’re not finding out’ because never gonna leave her and cannot even bear the thought]

Janis: [shake your head then dunk it under water ‘cos you need to do a deep clean girl, including that mane]

Casey: [10000% putting his hand on the top of her head like he’s gonna hold her under because we all remember those antics but this time kissing the top of her head/her hair and letting her up]

Janis: [when you emerge from under, flipping your hair back so you splash him a bit like oi you ‘tease’ kissing his hands]

Casey: [just playing with her hair for a sec before he starts washing it for her, which is gonna be as creative and adorable as the weird handhold he had to invent but we love that you’re making the attempt and y’all love teamwork so it’s fine]

Janis: [‘don’t lose your hand’ like your hair is that treacherous but the way we’re saying it lets you know how much we’re enjoying the sensation, however haphazard the actual washing attempts are]

Casey: [‘got another one’ in a very much I don’t care if I do tone because duh, getting that other hand even more involved for emphasis and also purely cos he can hear how much she likes all this]

Janis: [‘reckon I prefer you with two’ like it’s saucy bants only here and nothing more but then we add ‘also reckon I’ve never seen your knuckles anything but bruised’ which is undeniably emosh ‘I ain’t felt clean in-’ stopping yourself because you don’t even know when to say because it seems like you can always trace it further and further back the longer we’re really letting ourselves think about this, so just shaking our head again, going under the water to get rid of the shampoo and just be under]

Casey: [a look like thank god for that cos bit of a weird kink he’d have to commit to otherwise lol ‘you won’t even have to see that when they’ve healed themselves’ quietly but sincerely cos feel the need to yet again promise not only that he’s done with Ian but also that he’s gonna not be hitting people anymore whatever the circumstances, letting her stay under for a while cos he gets what she’s saying and knows she needs it literally to wash these suds off but also in the emosh sense, before he gently pulls her up and runs the shower head to properly rinse her hair, one handed so he can keep the other arm between her back and the bath meaning like we said if it’s a bit grim her skin and the wounds he cleaned aren’t touching it]

Janis: [smiling at you a little when we do come up because we believe that you mean this promise but we’re not going to be out here demanding you make any, it’s all gotta come from you and what you want ‘you may as well be in here’ because you would be so wet with all this helping but we’re also saying we’ll help you in if you like ‘shower ain’t that bad if you wanna stand’ ‘cos you’re tall so you wouldn’t have my boos issue of being unable to step in, it’d be getting down and back up again]

Casey: [a head shake because this is her moment of being looked after and he’s letting her have it, emphasising this by doing her conditioner and after he’s taken his time with it and while he’s leaving it to sit on her hair for a sec, washing her stomach as though he’s bathing this bub, asking her ‘you gonna have all this hair for me to sort too?’ in his soft taking to Baby Jac voice’]

Janis: [when you’re not at all used to this but you’re trying your best to be your version of a good patient so you keep your mouth closed and try to just enjoy how it feels and not be constantly thinking if he’s okay and what he needs, as is just your default; at least this Baby Jac softness is that distracting you can’t be anything but entirely paying attention to what he’s doing and saying, full !! ‘Probably, even Ian has hair’ like my fam has good hair genes and so does yours lol, we’re whispering as softly but we’re trying to joke so we aren’t fully 🥺]

Casey: [‘no pressure now, like’ @ this bub like if you come out bald we’re all gonna take the piss but then he’s just chatting away about how much she’s gonna love baths and all the toys he’s gonna get her to go in them etc etc, being a soft dad, while just carrying on washing the love of his life anywhere else he has not already]

Janis: [‘how do you know what to say?’ as if he has a script or something because it just sounds perfect to you and you don’t understand]

Casey: [‘I only say what comes into my head’ with the unspoken so can you when you’re ready to cos as per it doesn’t have to be perfect as nothing with them does]

Janis: [‘maybe I’m just not as nice as you’ like it’s fine and we aren’t at all concerned we’re going to be a horrible mother, distract yourself by kissing him, whenever he’s in a position his face is close enough to pull towards yours]

Casey: [‘Course not, you’re loads nicer’ said like he’s then not being the nicest ever by washing her v sensitive boobs and giving them the most attention possible]

Janis: [‘there’s no one else I’d trust to look after us’ using the us as an actual plural here, pushing our body up to meet your touch]

Casey: [absolutely does not need to rinse her body off using this shower head but he is because he knows it’ll feel good too the way he’s aiming it at those nips]

Janis: [the sigh that turns into a gasp, using our fingertips to follow the direction of this water ‘you might have to do this again for me, when I’m too big’]

Casey: [‘no need to wait til she’s almost here when I already am now’ because he’d do it for her always and he’s going nowhere, but his eyes are lighting up at the mention of her being that pregnant obvs, it do be his kink and it goes without saying he’s therefore directing the shower head between her legs for how it’ll feel]

Janis: [‘every night then’ with a hot lol like oh okay then but it feels too good to knock it ‘you might change your mind when there’s so much more to wash’ because we know you won’t lmao, just shamelessly and without realizing opening our legs up wider for this]

Casey: [‘alright’ because he would, no bants detected ‘mind’s made up, even when there’s 3 of you to wash’ shoutout to these 2 bubs who don’t really exist yet but will]

Janis: [‘you have to wake up every day and pick me’ as a * correction because trauma sis]

Casey: [‘you know that’s what I’ll do’ because no question ‘you’ve been my best mate since I had none’ never over the way your dad made you move to a different country and it wasn’t even the start of the school year, flop move Ian, well done]

Janis: [‘be me with none now’ because the socialising you do would’ve been as a couple and no one is gonna pick your side in this, tbf ‘not that I’ve ever been drowning in ‘em’ like oh well, and splashing some of this water up your body for emphasis of how much we don’t care right now]

Casey: [‘nah, can’t let you have it’ cos all his mates are lads in their early 20s like him obvs and the type who aren’t gonna stick around when he’s doing all his dad antics instead ‘drowning in nappies’ll see mine off as quick’ but he’s blatantly as unbothered, kissing her to highlight this]

Janis: [‘We’ll be your mates’ in this kiss with all the feeling how casual the words are does not convey ‘best fucking mates’ as the shower accidentally hits in just the right spot and has these words sounding full feral]

Casey: [‘I pick you, kids or just us, a decade ago or a decade from now’ because he do, there’s no au in which he would not, said while he’s kissing her even more feral and turning that shower head up as much as is possible, keeping it aimed perfectly]

Janis: [‘you’ll have all the hot mums wanting to be your friend anyway’ like it’s okay, they’ll be better friends I am sure lol but we can’t stop kissing you to commit to our bants ‘you’re all I need’ when you can barely get that out but simply must]

Casey: [‘you better not have no single dads trying to be yours, can’t come back from what a bastard I am if I orphan some kids’ not actually bants at all, he’d be FUMING lol, kissing about it in a lowkey aggressive and possessive manner]

Janis: [immediately into it and making it known by how we’re sounding and how we have to grab your shoulders which hopefully doesn’t hurt too much because it was instinctive and we ain’t trying to stop this moment dead]

Casey: [we’ll allow it, he’s injured af but we gotta let y’all have some fun, which this very much is rn for both of y’all]

Janis: [‘if you’re a bastard, you’re mine’ like I don’t think you are but if you are then so be it ‘cos I love you as you is]

Casey: [‘it ain’t my fault you’re the hottest mum this town’ll have ever known the like of, gonna need locking up you will’ cos where’s the lie she’s stunning now she’ll be stunning then and stunning after]

Janis: [‘it ain’t mine either’ with a pout like hey ‘yours is the only attention I’m ever trying for’ because we don’t try we all know, she just is naturally that stunning and doesn’t need the world to tell her]

Casey: [giving that pouty lip the most attention he ever has, so dramatically and !! ‘and you’ve not once had to try for it neither’ cos knows she’s doesn’t have to try but she doesn’t have to with him either cos he’s always given it, obsessed like I said lol ‘that’ll never change, I could never be that bastard’ cos not ever pulling a Jimothy and going off you gal]

Janis: [doing 🤏 at him because you can’t speak when you’re being given that much attention, for multiple reasons because there’s obviously been plenty of times where he has tried to get over you, like girlfriendgate, and you feel like you’ve lowkey not let him, somewhat shamelessly, even though we know it wouldn’t have happened anyway, shake your head because you either, obviously ‘this never went away’ doing a forehead lean that is so !! with tension]

Casey: [shaking his own head like no no purely so he can do more with her bottom lip than he already was, before obviously matching the forehead touch with as much if not more !! cos duh always, and starting to touch her as well as doing the most with the jet of water still]

Janis: [‘alright, I still knew’ but however unintelligible that is with your lip fully in his mouth and your reaction to being touched by him because we don’t care how ridiculous we sound because we like reminding you of the effect you have on us at all times, attempting not to launch yourself at him and stay still so no further injuries occur but we are moving our face closer to yours, somehow]

Casey: [likewise getting as close as possible to being in this bath with her as he can without actually getting in it, without even being aware of it here in this moment, because any space between you atm is rude and unacceptable and he simply can’t help trying to erase it all]

Janis: [at least you will be on top of us so you can use us to help keep you out and to stop it being full getting up from the floor vibes, we’re rolling with it because we like how it feels and always want to be this close to you, giving your lips attention of their own now because reciprocal always ‘I’ll just kill anyone who looks at me for you’]

Casey: [no regrets ever, even if you did end up in agony, we know that and he’s making it known by the sound he’s making at what she’s doing and what she said]

Janis: [tilting his head so you have his ear and whispering all the hypothetical and gory ways you could kill these people, casually]

Casey: [could not be going any harder touching her about it, of course]

Janis: [idk what clothes you did or didn’t keep on in this bathing attempt but however we have to make it happen we’re letting it be known we wanna touch you too by pawing at you like a puppy]

Casey: [when you almost make a sound like a puppy cos of how much you want her to, not at all casually and wordlessly begging over here]

Janis: [‘have you missed me?’ like it’s been any time, touching you super lightly so it’s all tease and anticipation here]

Casey: [giving her the puppy eyes as well now, no bants at all, could not be more sincerely desperate despite the way it’s been no time]

Janis: [‘you’re so-’ because obsessed with this energy and it shows in the way we’re looking back at you, taking the shower off you to see how it feels for you when we point it at you, trying out all sensitive areas and keep checking for his reaction on his face too]

Casey: [he’s always gonna shamelessly give her reactions like this is the first time or it’s been a thousand years, we all know that about him and obvs rn isn’t an exception]

Janis: [‘-fuckable’ like we’re just finishing our sentence now and needed to be shown this before we could]

Casey: [‘fuck me then’ because he always tells her to do things like that so simply must and the way his voice would sound is an added bonus]

Janis: [shaking your head ‘I like how you look when you want me to’ like you have to beg some more, sorry not sorry]

Casey: [‘how I always look’ like it’s a * cos always wants that unless it’s literally happening]

Janis: [biting our lip because seriously ‘its distracting, looking at you and knowing exactly what you want to do’]

Casey: [getting even closer to her and positioned so his 👀 are all she can see]

Janis: [now that we can’t see and neither can you because its all eye contact only, properly wrapping our hand around you so you can fuck our hand]

Casey: [and he will, there’s no chill lol]

Janis: [‘I can feel your pulse, it’s so fucking fast’ speeding up for you accordingly]

Casey: [feeling hers because he’s gotta, but on her wrist this time with such a dramatic grab for the hand she’s not using]

Janis: [‘show me where you want it’ telling you what to do like we didn’t just gasp at the surprise of the pressure]

Casey: [when you put her hand on her own stomach and then yours over it like we’re just being cute instead of feral]

Janis: [‘holy shit’ because last thing you expected and you’re not okay ‘what if I could feel it?’ as a whisper like imagine]

Casey: [he’s not okay about that as a prospect, soz you’ve got a while before you can live that dream, sir, you are gonna just have to die imagining and do your own gasp]

Janis: [‘what if your cock is inside me and she moves, are you going to cum in me?’ guiding him in you as you’re saying this]

Casey: [the most shameless noise ever because there’s no pretending otherwise about how into all this he is, it’s too late for that hun, and he’s unrepentant anyway clearly so]

Janis: [‘push until I feel you here’ pushing your hands down harder and making space so you’ve both got a hand on her stomach fully ‘think how deep you are’]

Casey: [doing what he’s told as per, we all know who he is, once again apologies to Chubby who’s probs trying to sleep and anyone else who’s around in this hotel for how loud all this will make him be]

Janis: [we’re as bad it’s getting to shouting level here with the intensity of how it feels but it’s the day so not soz to anyone but Chubby ‘get me ready for it, how much it’ll hurt to get her out to meet you’]

Casey: [as long as neither of you slip and fall to your death with how flooded this bathroom is going to end up, nothing else matters, and that’s just as well cos he can’t be tamed and could not be more extra after she said that, way more into this whole pregnancy and childbirth thing than you should be, sir, can’t relate, and he’s also buzzing to have a hand free rn to molest all the injuries from branchgate he can reach, at least they’re clean now so I can feel less bad about it]

Janis: [you’re both highly into it thank god because who else could you be exploring this with right now, no one, hence ‘I feel like I’m gonna piss or something’ because we’ve lost any and all control over what this is doing to our body and you’ve been warned]

Casey: [he’ll just be telling her to do it, we’re all aware, fucks not given, and then kissing her so !! because gotta always just be the most inside her possible and overstimulating this poor girl at all times]

Janis: [pulling his tongue down your throat desperately because it’s mutual and also a decent way to stop you screaming the place down, manipulating your stomach harder, so he can feel your hand as much as you can feel him from inside and out]

Casey: [you’re all welcome for the lack of screams, especially you Chubby, I don’t even need to tell you that his non-stomach touching hand moves from her back to her throat so fast, this isn’t our first rodeo]

Janis: [we’ve truly lost it and are definitely squirting all over you basically as soon as your hand is there, body going limp so you’re holding us up by our throat and the fact we’re still fucking]

Casey: [not that you’d care but I’m glad you’re in a bath for this cos I’m not as messy as you guys, oh lord, as if he wasn’t already losing it too, that’d just really make him the most feral ever, god bless]

Janis: [truly the state this bathroom will be in because no fucks given we must be insane, hence the incoherent and choked way we’re begging you to do everything you are and could be doing to us rn]

Casey: [meanwhile he’s not just moaning her name but everything he’s ever called her including whatever he did on the day of icecubegate when he called her some kind of ridiculous petname by accident when they were having the blanket playfight + milf and any other hot mum related things he could possibly think of]

Janis: [just repeating ‘I’m yours’ after every single name, no matter how unhinged this makes us sound because of the pace we’ve gotta get these two words out every time and connotations ‘cos we mean it]

Casey: [say it back and as many ILYS as you can get out yourself because too many emotions to shut his mouth + ‘we’ll be such a happy family’ with the same energy of we’ll be your mates from earlier]

Janis: [nodding ferociously like we have never agreed with anything more ‘I fucking adore you, boy’]

Casey: [‘be careful, girl’ like this is gonna be what hurts her and not your feral af antics, I have to laugh, cupping her face one-handed by like holding her chin, you know what I mean, and kissing her in the softest way ever]

Janis: [frowning like I hear your suggestion but respectfully no lmao ‘why?’ like it’s such a silly idea because it is to y’all but you’re melting at this soft kiss amidst all this carnage and being very vocal about it to let him know]

Casey: [‘you’ve gotta get to 100 with us’ so quiet compared to how loud y’all were being so sincerely cannot live without her and he said that’s how old he’d be on the last count]

Janis: [‘I’ll be 103 then’ giving the top of his head a soft kiss like you’re promising as sincerely]

Casey: [‘and have 3 years on your own with the single grandads, I don’t fucking think so’ like no you shall not haha]

Janis: [‘I’m so much older than you, as you love to remind me’ like excuse me, calling me an old slag lmao]

Casey: [he was frowning big cos he hadn’t done the maths on it and then he can’t help but smile amused like oh yeah remembering all those past bants despite the fact the age gap doesn’t really exist anymore at the age you’ve reached]

Janis: [nudging him like the absolute cheek but we’re smiling back at you ‘not enough to be a toyboy, but that’s about all the gossips been taken away from ‘em’ like you can’t be saying that lads but there is so much else in terms of scandal]

Casey: [‘they can crack on, I’ll look even fitter in the paper with you next to me than I used to do’ because all the gossip when he was a kid with his mum literally disappearing really was something]

Janis: [cupping your face now because you’ve told us all about this, of course you would’ve but even in what we’ve written it’s been mentioned ‘thank fuck I’m not that famous’]

Casey: [‘be able to enter her to win a competition while we’re there an’ all’ cos idk if beautiful baby competitions still exist but they used to and if they did baby Jac would win hands down]

Janis: [‘pay her way’ like yeah Baby Jac, get to work and win that £150 or whatever ‘I hope she has brown eyes’ blurting this out lowkey, soz that neither of them do hun but we’re about yours, and your brothers before you but shh]

Casey: [‘piss off, they’ll be [and going on to describe hers in too much detail and with too much feeling which Clove won’t let me ramble about rn cos trying to type every word is a struggle]’]

Janis: [do a little stunned lol like well then because what can you say to that ‘give me another one with brown eyes’ quietly but determinedly like you’re putting a request in that he can fulfil]

Casey: [‘she’ll be the double of you’ just like I know it and he’s so right for that ‘so alright, would be a bit rude of me to insist they both are’]

Janis: [me like sorry they both are BITCH lmao, you’ll live girlfriend, you can’t just keep having children waiting for one to look more like him, tempting though it may be ‘promise’ and holding your pinky out but not grabbing his because that would be foolish]

Casey: [haha soz not soz gal, you’ve clearly got the strongest genetics ever, but for rn y’all don’t know that and so he’s obvs holding his out and lightly pressing both your fingertips together cos the closest you can get with how fucked up his fingers are]

Janis: [heart eyes because you’re precious and this is soft ‘I can call you daddy in front of anyone and they can’t say shit’ like parent perks]

Casey: [‘they’d only try and say shit once’ like you can do it now if you want I’ll fuck anyone up who takes the piss dw]

Janis: [‘don’t wanna be like my sister about it’ because we don’t, ever, we had the sisterly comparisons still, even if we try to deal better than we did as a teen]

Casey: [‘you ain’t’ so sincerely it’s amusing because it seems shady but he’s not even trying to be, she’s just really not ‘there’s no other lass like you’ in a believe me I’m worked my way through enough of them to try and look for one tone]

Janis: [rolling our eyes playfully like oh yeah, ‘cos that sounds like such a cliche and the kind of thing an annoying bitch would wanna hear]

Casey: [when you go to nudge/hit her playfully like oi but it just reminds you of the feralness of branchgate v vividly and also you’re that close so you just end up headbutting her again in the same !! manner as when he did it earlier in one of their many other hookups]

Janis: [lowkey squaring up to him aka getting in his face and being like ‘yeah?’ under your breath, like he’s trying to fight you for real because how else can you convey your !!]

Casey: [the way he’s LOOKING at her when he lifts his head is doing for him somewhat, as is the ‘yeah’ he gives back like he’s challenging her to fight him too]

Janis: [when you’re suddenly being SO silent compared to how loud y’all were being, so all you can hear is your breathing getting more erratic]

Casey: [grabbing her jaw much harder than when he cupped her face via her chin not long ago, and kissing her pulse point like he can measure it that way, as hard and with teeth grazing against it]

Janis: [I’m sorry but you truly cannot fight him right now, accidental injuries will occur, so you gotta submit, gasping hardcore at this touch]

Casey: [my boo says calm it down, but he shall not even and will instead be biting her shoulder how he often do when they’re !!]

Janis: [‘I don’t fight dirty’ accidentally making it sound hot and we both hear that so kissing you aggressively as a distraction]

Casey: [shamelessly falling for that distraction tactic though, he can’t help it, cue such a ridiculously hardcore makeout sesh]

Janis: [will make your lip bleed but that’s acceptable because y’all lowkey always do that ‘when I wanna give you bruises, I don’t need his help’ like this will not be a collaborative effort, Ian, crashing against your lips enough to bruise 100% though]

Casey: [‘when it’s your turn nobody else can have a look in, especially not him’ cos agreed, you’re not invited to the party ever again Ian]

Janis: [‘no one else can, end of’ like not on my watch is anyone hurting you regardless]

Casey: [that just making him die because it’s hot af but also caring af and it’s impossible to cope with both of those things in this moment ‘it’s different’ when you don’t even know how to verbalise all the ways you mean that, like 1. Things are different now but also 2. They’ve always been different when it’s jc]

Janis: [‘we can trust each other’ like yeah, you can’t trust Ian or anyone else to give a shit, even when they should]

Casey: [‘I used to reckon there were a line I wouldn’t cross with you, end of, and that’s what was different, but that’s bollocks, it’s that I can’]

Janis: [nod like I understand as you’re processing this ‘I want you to get everything you need from me, assuming I can give it’]

Casey: [‘nobody else like you, you heard’ cos he’s just in awe of her and the way she isn’t scared of him like everyone else is or wanting to change him how everyone else does, despite knowing it since he’s known her]

Janis: [‘you’ll make me blush’ 😏 because the scene, as usual, but we’re massaging your earlobes as we’re just looking at you lovingly ‘we can do whatever we want, and we should’]

Casey: [‘be a waste if I don’t’ like who else can and will and you look so cute and hot when you blush gal, all true facts, and he’s obviously pulling out all the stops to make it happen cos we’re likewise giving the biggest heart eyes and whispering to her anything he can possibly think of that could cause a blush]

Janis: [‘you’re always teasing me’ because we know this will be enough to achieve a blush and have you squirming, so we have to move one hand down to a nip instead, doing the same massages ‘be nice’]

Casey: [‘you keep on saying it like I don’t give you exactly what you’re after’ because she called him a tease towards the beginning of this bath when she splashed him as well, really doing the most to prove that he really does give her exactly what she wants always, of course]

Janis: [‘don’t stop’ like I couldn’t hack it if you didn’t, hence the reminders, shifting up so your boob is in his face, just shamelessly shoving that in your mouth like please and thanks]

Casey: [blatantly was already taking don’t stop as an instruction as far as being determined to make her cum over and over again as many times as humanly possible but then he’s also taking it as one to suck on her titty forever and always]

Janis: [the noise we’re making, like a drawn-out and entirely unhinged humming because we’re so about it ‘baby’]

Casey: [not him saying ‘mummy’ rn with no hint of shame or embarrassment when it simply won’t be made incoherent enough by these antics for her not to hear it, sir you stop it]

Janis: [we are OBSESSED because why should girls only be allowed to get in on the action, could not be reacting any more blatantly about it, good thing you don’t need to breathe for a minute because we’re holding your head to us SO tightly]

Casey: [I say we CAN’T be living like this but he’s as blatantly into it as she is, likewise the way she’s suffocating him rn, the reactions are all UNHINGED as per usual]

Janis: [holding you like this until you start to struggle naturally because that’s the only way we’re stopping here, then of course not letting you breathe without us kissing you at the same time]

Casey: [simply have to retaliate by pushing her under the water when he eventually pushes her away so that he can reenact the whole keeping her under until she’s struggling and then not letting her breathe without kisses vibe cos duh, he loves when shit is mutual and why not use the bath setting]

Janis: [we know this is your favourite, spitting the water we got in our mouth at you, making you hold it in your mouth whilst we choke you with a wet t-shirt or flannel, whatever we can find to tighten ‘round your neck]

Casey: [oh lads, your lack of chill is my fave, RIP to this bathroom truly because the first chance he gets he’ll be running more water so that y’all don’t freeze to death and there’s more to be feral in cos so much of it must be on the floor by now, especially with how he’s reacting to all that cos loving every second of it, of course he is]

Janis: [for real you’re due more water or you will be cold and in an empty bath, not that you’d notice I’m sure but you can keep playing this way so ‘good boy’ is in order as is directing you so you can put your butt under this tap and experience that because more concentrated than a shower]

Casey: [we all know anything booty related is such a fave of his, so LOSING IT about this as if y’all haven’t been going insane the entire time ‘fuck!’ with all the feeling is just the start of how !! he is]

Janis: [‘fuck it’ and pushing you back and forth to simulate just that ‘I love seeing you like this’]

Casey: [going harder than she did for both y’all’s benefit ‘I don’t wanna stop’ cos she said don’t but he is DYING and knows damn well he cannot keep this up forever, it just feels too good and if that wasn’t beyond blatant by what he’s up to it’s even more obvious cos of how long it would take him to say that]

Janis: [‘cum up my ass, just shove it up there, I want you to pound me whilst I pound you’ as a complete blurt out, the only way we can say so many words and not get lost in pure noise]

Casey: [0 hesitation, especially not in this moment or about this, definitely getting lost in unholy noises while he instigates that]

Janis: [the complete lack of preparation mixing pleasure and pain has us there so fast but we promised so we’re not hesitating with using our fingers to get as deep as we can, using the feral way we’re fucking against you to push further, smacking our other hand against the back of your thighs]

Casey: [don’t worry gal, he’s gonna be in exactly the same boat as far as this feeling like it’s gonna be over as soon as it’s begun cos DEAD, everything about this is just too iconic and obviously nothing he’s ever experienced with anyone else so making it even more !! than it already is]

Janis: [‘you can cum and I won’t stop, it’ll be agony’ just promising that like you might not mutually die here, which is a very real possibility ‘you’re mine to fuck as long as I want, it’s not up to you’]

Casey: [‘all yours, all night’ like yep keep going for hours and hours yet nbd, despite being said like he’s very much about to cum rn immediately because how he feels]

1 note · View note

theconservativebrief · 5 years

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When somebody dies in the Catholic tradition, people generally know what to do. There’s the saying of the Last Rites at a dying person’s bedside, the vigil for the deceased — also known as a wake — and, often, a formal Mass of Christian Burial.

In the Jewish tradition, there’s the practice of sitting shiva: the week-long mourning process during which the family of the deceased remains at home, and friends and relatives call on them to pay their respects.

In the Islamic tradition, the deceased’s body is ritually bathed and shrouded in white cloth before Muslims of the community gather to perform the Salat al-Janazah, the customary prayer for the dead.

But what happens when you die and you don’t follow any faith tradition?

When Iris Explosion — an entertainer and social worker who prefers to go by her stage name — was widowed unexpectedly at age 28, she and her friends had to create the memorial service for her husband, Jon, from scratch.

Explosion and her husband were not conventionally religious — she describes herself as a “lax Jew,” while her husband, a queer man interested in alchemy and other occult practices, often felt alienated from the born-again Christianity of his parents. The memorial service her friends created a few days after his death, she says, contained a blend of traditions and practices individual to Jon.

A Jewish friend recited the Mourners’ Kaddish. The group told stories — some reverential, some “bawdy” — that reflected all aspects of Jon’s personality. They played an orchestral rendition of the theme song to Legend of Zelda, Jon’s favorite video game. Friends from out of town dialed in on Skype to share their stores. Numerous friends gave Explosion rose quartz, a stone associated in some New Age and occult traditions with heart healing, as a gift.

The memorial service — as well as a second funeral service, which took place a few months later, and was similarly eclectic in style — focused on Jon’s personality and interests rather than being constrained by a specific set of traditions.

Explosion is just one person among the 24 percent of Americans who identify as religiously unaffiliated. For the religious “nones,” the issue of what happens when you die is an open question in more ways than one. According to a 2008 American Religious Identification Survey, the most recent year for which data is available, 29 percent of Americans do not anticipate having a religious funeral, for whatever reason, and given the steady increase in religious “nones” over the past decade, that number will likely only rise.

But what do secular funerals — or death rituals more broadly — look like? What can they provide that religious death rituals can’t? What are the challenges involved in putting them together?

And as secular funerals become increasingly individualistic, tailored to the preferences and needs of the deceased, rather than a given religious or spiritual tradition, what does that mean for the sense of community engendered by ritual?

It started with weddings.

Scholar and psychologist Philip Zuckerman, author of Living the Secular Life, suggested in a telephone interview that secular funerals are just the latest iteration of the secularization of major life stages overall.

Its genesis, he said, lies in the proliferation of secular weddings in America. In 2017, just 22 percent of American weddings took place in houses of worship, a nearly 20-point drop from 2009, according to data from the wedding website the Knot.

“The first thing we saw was zillions of people going online and registering with the Universal Life Church,” said Zuckerman, referring to an organization that virtually automatically ordains people over the Internet, “so they can perform their own weddings for friends and family, so they can still make it sacred but not under the auspices of religion.”

Different states have different laws about the extent to which Universal Life ordinations are legally valid for performing weddings. Funerals, however, have no such restrictions.

Zuckerman posits that, among the people he’s interviewed for his book research, the desire to have a secular funeral isn’t just about not wanting to affirm the existence of a God or afterlife in which the deceased may or may not believe. Rather, he says, it’s also about wanting to preserve a sense of the deceased’s individuality.

“They just don’t want fairy tales. They don’t want to be told, ‘So and so’s in a better place now’ or ‘So and so is now suckling the bosom of Jesus’ — they can find that talk annoying,” Zuckerman said.

“We want to curate our own Facebook page. Why wouldn’t we want to curate our own funeral?”

More and more, Zuckerman said, he sees people choosing their own music and their own speeches that they want to be read after they die. “I think that is part of our growing individual and less of this care of tradition … more and more people want to feel the idiosyncracies of the dead person and the specialness of the dead person.”

This attitude, he said, is particularly prevalent in the United States. “We all like to think in the United States that we’re special. Why wouldn’t we want our funerals to be special, too?”

Certainly, for Iris Explosion, commemorating Jon’s life in a way that felt true to his personality and character was a priority. From sharing Jon’s favorite Spotify playlists with his friends to curate the music selection for the services to working in references to My Little Pony — a show Jon loved — Explosion and the couple’s friends created a memorial for Jon that befit his character.

By contrast, Explosion said, she declined to attend other memorial services, like one hosted by Jon’s family in his home state, that had a more Christian focus, instead circulating an email to attendees of that service asking them to donate to Planned Parenthood, which she felt better reflected her husband’s values.

Explosion’s experience dovetails with a phenomenon called religious “unbundling.” A term coined by Harvard Divinity School researchers Casper ter Kuile and Angie Thomas, who frequently cover how phenomena like Crossfit and Soulcycle function similarly to religions for their participants, “unbundling” refers to the way in which both the religiously unaffiliated and religious alike are increasingly willing to pick and choose elements of spiritual traditions.

Someone might, for example, be a committed Christian but also practice Buddhist meditation or yoga, or be an atheist but attend Jewish family holidays and read Tarot cards. In a pluralist landscape, in which people are used to gathering information and ideas from a multiplicity of sources (not least through the internet), a more individualized approach to religion and life rituals is all but inevitable.

Even for those of traditional faiths, death is a phenomenon that defies easy answers. But for the religiously unaffiliated, processing and dealing with death and its aftermath can be an especially loaded task.

Brad Wolfe is trying to help them do that.

Wolfe is the founder of the weeklong Reimagine End of Life festival. Wolfe, a singer-songwriter and author, was inspired to work in the end-of-life space after watching a close college friend’s struggle with terminal cancer. The festival, which takes place in New York and San Francisco, partners with community centers and artists to curate a 300-strong series of events — from talks to workshops to performances to museum displays — dealing with the subject of death.

“Death is often the central coalescing element around which many religions are formed,” Wolfe told Vox in a telephone interview. “As we’ve become more secular in some communities … there’s an increasing hunger for that space … to come together and explore this topic.”

“Death is often the central coalescing element around which many religions are formed”

The weeklong New York festival, which took place around Halloween, featured a range of explorations: a class on how to write your own obituary, doctors talking about dealing with their patients’ deaths, live musical performances dealing with the themes of loss and bereavement.

Participants speak at the the Nocturnists storytelling event where doctors from Mount Sinai, New York University, Columbia, and other local hospitals share their personal experiences with death. Courtesy of Reimagine End of Life

What connects each event, however, is a sense of intentionally: that people are actively setting aside time and space to deal with a weighty topic.

Both Wolfe and Zuckerman identify similar elements of what that “coming together” looks like. Ideally, both say, it involves elements of ritual, community gathering, and a sense of meaning: How do we conceptualize a person’s death as part of a bigger picture?

Wolfe suggested that we might be better off looking at this “coming together” not as a non–religious event, but as an expansion of the definition of what religion means. At least two Reimagine events are, fundamentally, immersive theatre performances. In one, participants are invited into a phone booth to have conversations they wish they’d had with somebody who has died.

In another, participants role-play members of a fictional bereavement support group. Speaking about these events, Wolfe argued that the lines between art, ritual, religion, and performance are deeply blurred.

“The boundaries between art and religion are more porous when it becomes a practice explored with intention,” Wolfe said. What matters is the sense of significance shared by participants: “Having a practice, a shared system, allows us to connect in ways that give us a sense of comfort and something we know we can turn to.”

The idea or combining artistic creation and end-of-life ritual is far from new to Janie Rakow, president of the International End of Life Doula Association. As a “death doula,” Rakow works in hospices, helping those facing the end of their lives develop rituals and practices around their own deaths. While she works with patients from a wide variety of religious backgrounds through the hospice, she tailors her work and approach to the individual in question.

One of the most important parts of the end-of-life process, she says, is the act of creation. She helps her patients develop what she calls “legacy projects”: individual artistic works, from a memory box to audio letters.

“Everyone has a legacy,” Rakow says. “So [I ask myself] what kind of legacy project could we possibly create with this person to really leave behind a sense of who they are or were?”

Next, she asks patients to help plan their own death — where they would like to be? What music they would like to be listening to?

“There may be some ritual work done around that,” she says, even if it’s “as simple as surrounding their bed, holding hands, saying a prayer or saying poetry, reading something to them, [or] lighting a candle.”

The point is to help the dying take an active, creative role in the story they leave behind.

Doula Craig Phillips pauses before entering the room of a person who is near death at the Gilchrist Hospice in Baltimore, MD on June 6, 2016. Katherine Frey/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Often, Rakow says, these rituals are tailored to individual passions. She gives the example of one man she worked with, who was dying from ALS, a degenerative neurological condition that prevented him from being able to move. With his wife, Rakow created a series of guided visualizations for the man, who loved hiking.

“And so we would bring him with his eyes closed on the most detailed and specific hike that we could from the very beginning to hiking all the way through.”

She’d walk him through ”smelling the forest and feeling himself walking up the hills and hearing the birds chirping and looking over at the crystal clear lake and the more descriptive we could get, we were able to bring him back into his body that he wasn’t able to use through his mind.”

One of the most difficult parts of creating secular death rituals is compensating for the lack of built-in community, or built-in structure, that often accompanies more established religious traditions.

Zuckerman pointed out that the secular bereaved don’t necessarily have a clear roadmap, or community support, to help them deal with the pragmatic aftermath of a death.

“One of the biggest problems for secular culture [is that] you have to cobble together and make it yourself. If you want your kid to have a Bar Mitzvah, it’s all taken care of. You want your kid to go through confirmation class in the Episcopal Church? Boom, they’re enrolled. If you want to do a secular version of that? Good luck. You’re on your own. You have to figure it out, explain it to people, rent the space, find people, figure out how to write up your own program. … It’s a lot of effort.”

The lack of intentional secular communities, Zuckerman said, only intensifies this problem. “With religious communities,” he said, “not only is the structure of the funeral in place, but there are going to be people who are going to immediately sign up to cook dinner for your family for a month and they’re going to deliver food to your doorstep and they’re going to help you get your kids to school and they’re going to do a lot for you. And when you’re secular you don’t have those kinds of resources.”

Pallbearers escort the casket to the altar during the funeral for Watertown firefighter Joseph Toscano at St. Patricks Catholic Church in Watertown, MA on March 22, 2017. Craig F. Walker/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

For some secular Americans, the idea of having a “chosen family” — a close-knit network of friends — helps fill in the gap. Just as Friendsgiving has become a phenomenon among urban millennials, so too have friendship networks more broadly become an increasingly vital part of social cohesion: replacing both extended family structures and traditional organized religious communities.

That was certainly the case for Explosion. She cites her friends’ involvement in making the service possible at a time when she didn’t feel capable of planning herself. “I needed camaraderie and community,” she said, and I feel like I had it.”

At the same time, she admits, she had less of a blueprint for how to cope with the next stages of grief after about six months.

“People go back to their own lives,” she said. “And it was hard to feel that sense of community. Without a church or synagogue to bind us together, it maybe felt like it dissipated. People missed their friend and their co-worker. But for me, it’s like — I miss my husband who lived with me, and it was hard to feel that sense of community after time had passed.”

Explosion’s story points to a wider tension in the world of secular funerals, and the creation of secular culture more broadly. On the one hand, the benefits of the “unbundled” religious landscape, for many secular Americans, lie in the opportunity to create truly new, individualistic rituals and experiences. We have the opportunity to curate our identities and public personae event after death, creating experiences that feel unique to us.

But on the other hand, what risks getting lost in the process is precisely that feeling of collective identity that demands subsuming our individuality in a wider whole. Religious rituals and language, from Catholic ceremonial liturgy to the Salat al-Janazah, may not feel fully and uniquely “us,” but they nevertheless define and orient a wider community and give us a sense of shared values.

The 19th-century sociologist Émile Durkheim saw religion primarily as a shared construction of identity; in his seminal 1912 work The Elementary Forms of Religious Life, he wrote, “The most barbarous and the most fantastic rites and the strangest myths translate some human need, some aspect of life, either individual or social.”

As more and more Americans leave organized religion, the next question is whether, and how, many of them will gather together, and how an increasingly individualistic conception of identity can be reconciled with the real, human need for group belonging. As secular funerals and death rituals become the new standard, we may see some of these rituals become more group-centric.

For Explosion, for example, the process of grieving led her to an unexpected new ritual. During her husband’s life, she said, she often played a video game called Destiny with him, looking up the location of objects hidden in-game and giving him hints to find them. While she never particularly got into the game herself, she said, she enjoyed playing it with him. After his death, she started watching YouTube videos of people playing the game, or its sequel, to remember the time they’d shared. Then, she decided to buy the game’s sequel to play it herself.

“I’ve been playing this game I wouldn’t have played if he hadn’t died. And it’s been meditative for me. Finding the little things, like doing these things we used to do, felt like a pilgrimage in a way.”

Sometimes, Explosion communicates with other players in the game online. While she’s only told a few of them about her personal history with the game, she’s nevertheless found a community that can accompany her in a time of grief.

“When we do a big quest or a raid together, there’s always a moment for me of, like, you know, okay, he would have done this. He did this in the old game. Now it’s me kind of picking up this mantle.”

The secular funeral liturgies we see in the future may transition from being individualistic to being based on other non-religious elements that bring a community together. They may involve the music of My Little Pony, or the playing of video games.

Ultimately, they’ll represent two fundamental human needs. First, to make sense of a beloved’s death. And second — and just as importantly — to not do it alone.

Original Source -> What does dying — and mourning — look like in a secular age?

via The Conservative Brief

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Edie, Buster & Rio

Edie: *It had been a while since club nights had done anything for her. Felt like years and years, but she'd not been going out underage for that long, had she? They always got chucked out before anything could happen, because they were trying to make something, anything, fucking happen in this shitty town. Scrapping, or using the toilets for one of two (or both) unapproved activities, it was always early doors for Edie and Kai. She was pouting into her double (or was it triple?) Eyes only moving away from him to give 'don't fucking try it' looks to any girl that came within a seven-mile radius. As she sent another bitch flying, she let her gaze follow for slightly too long to see her running into another cunt's arms, literally. Oh shit. Nah? It couldn't be, could it? Fucking hell. Looks like it would be time to go Home sooner than she'd even anticipated. Kai was already jonesing and it wasn't the first time she'd use that to her advantage if needed. The blonde shrank further into her oversized clothing, making herself more invisible, at least let her finish her drink, like. Her cousin had enough female attention to not look her way, didn't he?* Buster: *He couldn't make it up, this girl coming at him how she did 'cause it was exactly the kind of brag one of his bros would hit him with on a slow night, unable to compete. She was a 7 in what she had on and the way he'd clocked her moving before this, for some other try hard cunt. His eyebrow had raised, not the attention she'd wanted but all she'd earned. It wasn't her that had him 'shook'. The other blonde, proper hunted for whenever he found himself in Dublin, but he'd not found her yet. Until now. He was sure enough that this version of Edie was there, solid enough, being only a couple in himself, owing to barstaff that'd rather flirt than serve, so likewise. No blurring or swaying. And no need for a humble brag. One of the boys was all 'isn't that...?' as if he didn't have his phone in hand sending out where he was (and more importantly THEY were) and the quickest explanation that he could use for something this unexpected like. Time wasn't on his side, 'course if she'd let herself be seen she didn't know he was here, but the cunts he was with were less subtle. Liable to shout her name or some shit once they were done grabbing each other in triumph. Fuck's sake. Drink it in idiots, he thought with a sigh, daring to glance at his phone clock just once before draining what was left in his cup. At least let him finish that before she was done with this shithole. He'd need the courage when Rio showed up and to him empty handed in every sense. Shit. Edie: *Edie watched Buster now, Kai hunched up 'round his own drink, close to her side but barely there, no matter how hard she squeezed his hand, his thigh, hung on his neck, nuzzling and biting like their pup, screaming in his ear over the shit tunes that washed over with no effect, just like shit gear. She would always pale in comparison to that need, wouldn't she? She hated him when he was like this. Hated him 'cos she loved him so fucking much and he was giving her nothing in return. Those daddy issues would always be too raw, thanks a lot dickhead. At least Kai had a valid, chemical reason. What was your excuse, Dad? More interested in Rio than you were me. Wasn't that always the way? She couldn't compete with any of her siblings, not even Indie. Ha, fucking Indie. How had they not seen that? So obvious now, in retrospect. So fucking obvious. Couldn't have possibly raised her but just a few short months later, daddy's little girl. Even gave her a similar name. A slap in the face. Edie's blood boiled, seething barely under the surface, mood only souring further as her cousin pretended like he wasn't looking at her though he so clearly was, phone in hand. Fuck you. She made a big show of waving, ridiculously animated with a stupid 'OMG fancy seeing you here!' smile on her face, before sticking her tongue out and putting up both middle fingers.* Buster: *Buster couldn't ignore her after the display made it clear he wasn't as slick as he played it every other night. Fuck it. That was what had got the family in this mess in the first place. Pretending. Seeing only what they wanted. Worked out really fucking stellar hadn't it? He moved soundlessly closer to the space she still occupied while she still did, not bridging the gap properly 'cause backing her into a corner wouldn't mean her back to the wall. He wasn't that stupid, and hadn't be that green as a kid first putting on the gloves. All the same he had to reach out, reckon against her immediately biting back since he'd stood so ready and so unprotected. Unprepared when their eyes met. Blue on blue but the similarities ended there. His anger couldn't touch hers then, and it'd be laughable to call it a contest now. His only challenge began and ended with what happened after the stare off. Buster smirked. Standard. Why would he be fazed by any of this?* What you drinking? * He was stalling harder than he had the night before Nancy caught the plane away from him that first time, knowing that rich as they were were he couldn't buy as much time as he craved. The same desperation caught in his throat trying to choke him out. * I'll get you one, yeah? Rio: *It had been a quiet night in, becoming more and more standard for two girls who were once so rarely Home, especially not on a fucking Friday night, are you having a laugh? Attempts at normalcy made, although for the younger of the two, 15, too damn young, a quick bowl of pasta and watching shitty telly wasn't all that standard either. A stabbing reminder, another blonde little girl they'd all let down. It hurt Rio to see her when she hadn't seen Edie in, how long now? Too long, any amount of time apart from her siblings was, but really this time. But it was all she could do, keep this little sister safe, best she could. The text from Buster, his name no longer that shocking to see popping up on her screen, but the content was. She was jolted into action, action without much conscious thought behind it, just that she needed to get there, now. She gently placed a blanket over Indie, her dark brows furrowed with bad dreams, Rio kissed her lightly there, as if to kiss away the thoughts too. Auto-pilot saw her throwing a coat over her short-shorts and tank top comfies, lacing up trainers and locking their door behind her, now sprinting fast enough to rival Janis. Luckily the flat was central, and she'd been treading the path to the clubs and pubs long enough to do it blinded by the fear as she was now. It was a dull kick in the guts, knowing in her heart of hearts she was about the last person Edie wanted to see, knowing she was likely going to flee before anything could be said. And what could be said, anyway? All she wanted to do was wrap her little sister in her arms and never let go again. Take her Home and make everything okay. But how could she? Who did she think she was? She'd been the one to uncover the wound, to open her own flesh and blood up to all this anguish and rotting and...death. It had always been there, but it was benign, lurking under the layers of love and family they all thought would hold back, keep out, the bad they all knew was there but pretended to be blind too. Didn't feel a thing, they were untouchable, safe, them, family. But she'd inadvertently, (keep telling yourself that, slut), let the bad guy in. Pretend you didn't see through his 'family friend' disguise one more fucking time, bitch. Feet pounded the cobbled streets almost in time to how her heart was punching out of her useless chest. The pain radiated, feet bloody from blisters, heartache made physical from never having moved so fast. Good. It was so far from being close to what she deserved anyway. It was a start. She flew past the bouncers, no doubt offended 'cos she knew them all by name, knew their fucking wives and kids too, why hadn't she taken that time to know her sister? Maybe then she could have saved Edie. Ha, dream on, the dread that was constantly within her now, mocked nastily, as she spotted her, at the bar. She barely registered Buster expect to note that her sister, (had she always been that small? oh my God), was mocking him herself, shaking her head no to something their cousin had said, offered. Rio felt frozen to the spot, giving literally no shits that she was in everyone's way, looking an absolute mess, feeling every inch of it. She didn't know what to do. And that was the problem. What could any of them do? When sorry's didn't cut it, when too much had passed, when they'd failed her. Shame and sorrow burned through her, thawing her statue impression, pushing her bloody feet forward to beg at her little sister's. Please come Home. Please. Please. Please.* Edie- *It was said like a spell, one of Billie's incantations, to make her be real, to keep her here, with her now, as if putting a name to the face she saw everywhere she went, but never got to really see anymore, would make her sister be happy to see her. Of course she wasn't. Why would she be? Too much to ask didn't begin to cover it now. But their eyes did meet. Rio: They locked, and for one perfect second, she saw her sister mirror her, freezing them both in this moment, together, like they had been from the start; because you can't just erase 16 years worth of memories, and love and themness you just can't, fuck you Drew Goldsmith, you aren't worth it. He wasn't worth it. And that was what killed the other girl the most, she knew it, she knew it so intrinsically that it fucking killed her too. She'd give anything to have her 'real' Dad be a noble Prince, like the stories she'd weaved when they were both little, unable to be with her because he was off saving the world. But that wasn't the truth. The truth was shit. The truth was killing Edie. But just like that, the moment was gone, and so was she. A flash of blonde hair, by the time Rio was out the door, the street was empty, just drunken revelers and other stupid, waste of space people who just weren't her sister. She could feel the tears falling, pathetic, all her reactions, her body, her mind, every fucking thing 'cos she was breaking, were again out of her control, propelling her away, out of sight of the bouncer's and their 'you alright rio?'s', to the river's edge.* Buster: *He followed her instinctively 'cause it was all he could do, they'd let him down up to the point of bursting out of the club doors into the night and there was less of a guarantee again that they'd lead him any closer to where Rio was than they done with Edie at the bar. He couldn't make anyone stay, not his little sister or his other, the twin who was meant to be bound tighter to him than anyone else. Who the fuck did he think he was? He'd need to be a better man than this not to fuck his kid over just like Edie's cunt of a bio dad the way things were going with Chlo, but here he was squaring off and ready to swear down he could save his cousin from something none of them could properly fight. Fucking hell. He should turn back, queue up for his coat and piss off out of all this, but he was stubborn enough despite the every failing to still take being a cocky cunt over a coward. To believe himself important enough to not only keep up with the girl's mad dash but to overtake, stop her from whatever it was she was about to do before she managed it. He wasn't dealing with Nancy or Edie now. This was Rio and each bouncer nodding the way, laughing him on, made it sound like she was about to chuck herself in the river. Normally he'd never believe such bullshit but tonight couldn't be less standard. He'd already seen his missing cousin drinking a few punters down with his own eyes like she hadn't been months gone and every step he took closer to where the other, who wanted to vanish, was added to how fucking surreal the night had become. His arms were bare and goosebumped past his t-shirt sleeves but he didn't feel it or much of anything else. No wonder he loomed up beside the water as a ghost in expensive jeans. What was there to say or do? He was grabbing chances he wasn't owed after fucking up the first so hard and fast, burning through luck and bravado even quicker by getting here and standing useless once he had. None of this is about you, pussy. He shook his head against the dark. Going one further and calling himself a limp dick snapped himself out of it for a second. All he needed to take a shot.* Let me take you home. Rio: *She was on the rails, literally. Precarious though she weren't close to being pissed, all too unbearably sober, numbing more than the drink or narcotics ever could, feet dangling above the Liffey. She weren't usually the type of silly melodramatic bitch to note, much less run towards, parallels; but wobbling between the 'safety' of the old familiar street and the freezing relative danger of the water below, well, it felt apt. Rio groaned out loud, shaking her head with no room for self-pity, forcing a bitter laugh at herself between her hiccoughing sobs. As if she wasn't showing herself up enough (but who gave a fuck about point-scoring with Buster McKenna at this point?) she snorted, turning round to look at him, incredulous.* Where?! *She laughed again, shaking her head over and over, really going in for the hysterical fucking bitch bit, Christ. Rio jumped off the rails, faltering on a loose cobble before righting herself, at least having enough dignity left to not look like a total suicide case in front of him.* No, nah, no. I don't want to go Home. I can't. Any better offers, McKenna? *She raised a challenging brow, standing up straight, hand on hip and a seductive smirk, lips quivering as she tried not to shiver and show how freezing she was. This was about all she was good for, everyone knew that.* Buster: *Buster knew it was a piss poor offer as he made it. Fucked to be honest that he was the one making it, though yeah, (Cocky cunt alert number 2) he was near glad when she spoke up herself. There was no challenge in offering her somewhere else to go. It was what he was good for. One of the only things on a night playing out this way like. He always had cash to splash and the amount of euros his wallet held opened doors in the city that didn't have skeletons stuffed into the corners of them. Enough of all this spooky shit. Jump scares were for little kids and neither of them had the luxury of that now. He was about to be a dad and Rio had been mothering everyone for years past. He was basically the only one she didn't try and pull that shit with, even Nance got it. Doing his job for him, wasn't she? He didn't take the bait from the inner voice, too busy trying not to rise to hers. It would've been easy to fall in line, wear a smirk and use it too, keeping it big enough to push everything else aside. Talk shit loud enough to smother what he didn't know how to say, or if it was even on him to say it. Buster lied to himself for that second, all he could manage as he got closer and finally stepped up right. Let her think it was about Chlo if she wanted, he'd happily pretend that far. He wasn't going to brag about knowing better this time, she definitely didn't need to hear that now. He took a deep breath, ready for this fight, but what proved to be easy was what he did next, acting on what he felt instead, giving her what warm he had as he wrapped his arms around her. Maybe she'd take her turn at running away from it herself, that was a chance he had no choice but to take.* Rio: *For one moment, Rio truly thought Buster was going to go there, at last. The place they'd been circling around for a while now, enjoying the flickering heat of the flames licking at their heels, dancing on the line without letting themselves ever be consumed by the sin, playing a deadly game of chicken, knowing if either lost, they both were. And there would be no coming back. Given over to whatever this was. And she was ready. In that same moment, where everything else in life felt fucked or lost forever too, why not? Why the fuck not. Do it. A final childish game before things got real, a dare in the form of pushing herself hard against him as he enveloped her. But nothing. As if he was telling her in no certain terms that all she was good for was another warm body, something to hold just to take heat from, in the most basal sense, not heat as in fucking passion or anything else worthwhile. A surrogate coat on a cold night. Fuck you. 'As if I have anything left to give now! And to you of all people, you've got enough, fuck you!' She wanted to scream at him 'til he understood but she knew he still wouldn't. No one did. The only thing she was good for, taking 'care' of people, (in whatever sense you fancied, that was the other's prerogative always, of course), she'd failed at so catastrophically that she couldn't ever be that person again. For better AND worse. She had wanted him to give her the chance, to at least try in THAT way, but no, couldn't even do that right, could he? Could they? No. It was sick and she was alone in the sickness. She pushed away, as hard as she could, giving him a look that conveyed a tiny fraction of what she felt, dignified stalking off being out of the question when he knew she had nowhere to go.* Buster: Fuck's sake. *It's muttered at himself as much as it is her. More. This whole night's been a failed mission from the start, lost to him long before he'd sent the text that dragged her into it. Why the hell did he ever reckon he could change any of this? There wasn't no running from his baby mama bullshit and it didn't edge anywhere near to the PAIN she was feeling. He wasn't his sister he couldn't mold any of this blackness into an artsy print ready to be hung onto the wall in triumph of beating it. He couldn't even make it something Rio'd be able to bear looking at. Beaten down, he breathed out. The absence of coat pockets to dig into for another temporary distraction stung worse than the cold. The absence of her close by. Being in the same city again, for once, meaning fuck all in how far away she'd become to him. His side. There'd never been a bigger division between him and his cousin. He'd lost a sister too, yeah but the only years between them had been time she was gone, dulling the fact he'd ever been anything other than just a twin. There'd never even been minutes. Goodbyes coming after. He told himself that's why he'd kept it that way with Nance too, that it was how he knew dealing with what wasn't golden, but it wasn't that. He'd been too pussy to try, knowing there was nothing he could give the girl that she was after. Same as now. Everything offered came too late and that caused him shame he wanted fuck all to do with and less of a clue how regardless. He shrugged, that pretense happening before it could be stopped, a bitter taste rising up in the same moment as the lie. Poetic. Maybe his sister could have lived for this, trapping Rio's look in her mind's eye, captured in a kind of mental gilt frame, where it deserved to be, but all he had the option to do was push it aside, break away. Buster started walking, slow enough that it was clear she was meant to follow. (She had to know he'd had more distance tonight than he could swallow, engulfed as she was, didn't she?) He couldn't chance a luck back if he didn't want to stumble harder than he already had, so he lets the words drag her along. If she's coming.* Lost society it is then. *It's a joke that barely is but fuck it, it's all he's got.* Rio: *The temptation to stay behind just as another fuck you to him, was easily overridden by how much she didn't fancy standing around on a Dublin street corner on her own, barely dressed, mostly cloaked in the shadows of the ominous dark. Known as she was in this town, she wasn't known for being a fucking fool, at least. Lets both pretend that's the only reason, she thought; meeting his shrug with hers to attempt to say as much without the need for words she didn't have energy for right now; catching up to him easily enough, despite the height working in his favour, this night had clearly floored him enough too to keep them on a more level pegging. She tried to meet his gaze, as if, if she could, she'd be able to work out why. Why he cared. She knew they were family, a relatively close one at that but Buster... Hadn't he attempted to distance himself from them almost as much as Edie was now? Hmm. A simple and sure 'no' sounded somewhere deep within her; instinct. He'd been playing at it, sure, but it seemed as if he was faltering under the pressure tonight, slipping, as unsure of every step and word as she was. Edie could have that effect. Vaguely endearing but also, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Somehow, she still had room for that. What a mess. And not his. She should let him go and drink about it, 'til he had enough bravado back in him to 'forget' about it, get his mask back up. The shit club coming into view, Rio hung back, just out of the doorway.* I won't get in any way... *She opened up her coat enough to show him, and only him (hopefully), her tiny PJs underneath. She waved him away, some attempt at a polite small smile fading before it began, pondering what she could do now. Hope Indie was still asleep and she could drink, a lot, 'home' all alone. Sounded pathetic and apt as anything could be right now.* Enjoy yourself with the other lost souls, like, McKenna. Buster: *For a minute he was set to smirk, near genuine 'cause he'd seen girls hitting the club in less and worse both, but it didn't come. Or the shock of seeing Edie, and dealing with it, hadn't hit him hard enough still to let it. He was a lot of things, all bad when he was on that hype, but still not fool enough to wholeheartedly reckon it was anything to do with the clothes on Rio's back. There was a wad of cash in his back pocket saying different, but as soon as he thought that he turned away from it, refusing to buy the girl's way into somewhere she didn't want to be. Not lost enough yet, clearly. Buster could've frozen out there waiting for her to admit it, and might've on a different night, but almost immediately had a better idea. He shook his head, forming it in the rejection of taking his cousin back to his. Fuck that. His parents weren't the sort to head to bed early, all slippers and hot cocoa, they could still be up and in the home office for all he knew. It was just as likely they'd flown off somewhere, doing something that hadn't registered to him when they'd announced it like, but he wasn't up for taking that risk. It was a big of a no to him as it would be to Rio. * New plan. *He turned on his heel, pulling her along by her coat sleeve before she could decide she wasn't down for that either. A hotel was on the cards, like it or not, twin beds or separate suites, and whatever else it'd take to get her over that threshold to stay. The mini bar was calling his name and no amount of denials would have had him believing otherwise about her. It was in her eyes, so apparent in that brief glimpse that it would've hurt a weaker man to look at her. Meanwhile his eyes and eyebrows rise in the challenge, daring her to bullshit him with a no, however she found it. * Rio: *She didn't shout out the obligatory 'Oi!' when pulling back her sleeve sharpish, instead settling for another look that could/was intended to kill. As much as she didn't appreciate his gesture, she'd appreciate a have-a-go-hero getting involved less. The night was already on a downer, like, no need to be owing favours to a self-proclaimed 'nice guy' and apologies to her Auntie and Uncle for fucking up their golden boy's face. She'd have to sate herself with that mental image of black eyes and bloody nose outta joint for now. It was just one of those nights. Full of 'what ifs' and 'imagines'. Nothing real, nothing worthwhile. Wasn't exactly McKenna's fault, he'd got her out here on a false promise, yeah, but it was a call she would have answered from anyone, any time and anywhere, so- Hey ho. Back to scanning every crowd, going down every alley and talking to all the wrong people, in the vain hope it'd somehow mean she'd come back. Truth was, the truth they were all struggling to keep down, Edie didn't want to come back, didn't want to be with them anymore, or be Edie McKenna. And no amount of searching, hoping and praying was gonna change that. It had to be her that called it, part of Rio, a big part, wanted to respect that, it made sense after all but...It was so fucking hard to let her go. Again, she'd console herself by saying at least her sister knew they cared, that they still wanted her, needed her. She couldn't bring herself to give her any more space than Edie had already put between them, sorry, but no more baby girl. Realizing she'd been following, so lamely and obedient, in complete silence, for too long, Rio tried to be present, force herself into the here and now 'cos there was no going back, and no way forward as of yet so- here they were. Like it or not, (and they'd pretend the jury was still out on that for old time's sake), they were spending the night together one way or another. On a normal night, she'd have at least told him to fuck off but as silently agreed, it was not a normal night. She settled for shaking her head, letting out an exaggerated sigh.* Need to get you a better girlfriend, McKenna. Get you off my dick, like. You're obsessed. *She blew a kiss, fake it 'til you make it always, making a point to stride out ahead of him.

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