#so much of writing like wringing blood was directly inspired by how much fun i had writing (starve) so...be warned XD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

friquey · 7 years

Text

@homestuckss @jackthekit-kat

here’s my homestuck secret santa gift! it was a lot of fun to write, and i’d love to talk with you more if it’s too disjointed and you had questions or anything! i’ll expand on it for the future, probably, and since your requests were what inspired me i’d love your input.

without further ado, here it is! WARNINGS for blood, death, and some unreality. i tried to keep it light on all that!

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you have a penchant for getting yourself into situations with your soulmate that are less than desirable.

“Stop pokin’ me.”

“That’s a little hard like this, genius,” you snap back, then scowl as Eridan digs his elbow back into your stomach.

“You’re too short to be the big spoon, Sol.” This was a long-standing argument, but you always insisted that something felt wrong about being the little spoon, and no other form of cuddling made either of you feel quite... Right. You think it must have been the way you were summoned.

—> Be Sollux from last year

You are now Sollux from last year. It’s mid July in Texas, and the weather is miserable; people are still setting off fireworks every night, as if they haven’t got the memo the fourth of July is only a single day. Karkat likes to joke that hell has nothing on Texas in the summer, and you have to agree. You haven’t exactly been back to hell in awhile, but the longer you’re here the more enticing it feels

Texas is in no way your home, but the last time some stupid kids at a party summoned you, you’d decided to stick around. Karkat has semi-permanent residence here, after all, with his weird ass human boyfriend. You usually crash at their house, but Kanaya and her wife are visiting and something about the blonde gives you the chills. She always looks at you like she knows something you don’t.

The stars (or what you can see of them) are beautiful. You have half a mind to make roots here, in this godawful town with it’s godawful name (Stardust, how cheesy is that) with nothing for you, if for no reason other than to feel like you’re doing something with your life. Rose has said this is a sign of yearning for domesticity, and that you should find a partner. You know there’s no point, because everyone you meet either pities you or runs away. There’s no room for romance in there.

Being a demon in this town is weird, though. Different. Many other demons (those you know and those you don’t) have taken up residence here, and it seems to be a safe haven for those like you. The humans don’t run and scream quite so much. The hunters leave you be if you don’t hurt people.

Long nights are good for philosophical thinking, but sometimes this gets cut short. The one thing that life in this town doesn’t change, though, is the stupidity of children. You recognize the familiar pull of a summoning as soon as it’s happening, and after a few seconds you blip out of existence before landing on your feet on a wooden floor and—

Something’s wrong. You feel excruciating pain, enough to make you fall to your knees gasping. The floor is warm, wet, sticky, and the smell of copper in the air makes it easy to recognize; blood. The wood is covered in it, with it flowing in between the cracks of the boards and filling little knotholes in puddles. It doesn’t take long to find the source; there’s a demon on the floor directly in front of you, circled in a summoning pattern that loops with your own. There doesn’t seem to be anyone in the room— no. No one alive. There are bodies, and the smell of death is making you sick. Your head is pounding now, and you do the only thing you can conceivably do; you crawl to the other demon, ignoring your own pain as much as possible. You’ve felt this before; they’re a sort of empath, a very powerful one, and in their state they’re projecting everything they feel as a plea for help. It probably killed the humans, but you’re tougher than that.

They look like shit. There’s blood all over their face and clothes, and much of it seems to be coming from slits on the side of their neck and their sides— oh, fuck. Gills.

You’ve never been the strongest person, so you figure it must be adrenaline that drives you to try and pick them up. They’re a fish or something, fish need water. The moment you touch them, though, it feels like your head is going to split apart; a chorus of screams is resonating in your mind, and only one of them is yours. You pass out before you can do anything to help the dying demon before you.

—> Be Erisol

Something’s wrong. Your body is too heavy— no, it’s too light— there are weird things on your neck and side— no, those belong there— your mouth feels too full— it feels emptier than it should—

You take a deep breath. Breathe, breathe, breathe. That’s what Kar always says— no, when has he ever said that to you? You aren’t so close to him that he’d know when you were upset, because you avoid him then— no, you run to him then—

“Shut up!” You snap, and the voice is barely yours. A little of this, a little of that, and— it’s time to get serious. Something is wrong. You shouldn’t exist.

Flipping through your memory is easy enough; you were summoned by a group of teens, who then casted spells on you from some sort of book. You passed out from the pain and presumably lost control of your projection. Then you walked in and saw you passed out and bleeding on the floor—

Wait. Wait. You can’t see yourself, that doesn’t make sense, none of this makes sense and you don’t know who you are. Panic claws at your chest, and you have the first unified thought for the last ten minutes, which is the instinctive need to run to Karkat and have he and Dave fix it.

—>

“Dude, you’re so fucked. I think you’re gonna have to talk to Rose.” That was exactly what you didn’t want to hear, but Dave has always been good at saying things you don’t like— no, Dave is one of your friends, and you like being around him—

With a frustrated whine, you bury your head in a pillow. You want to stop thinking; this is terrifying. You hear the telltale click of heels on tile, then muffled on carpet.

“Oh, dear.” Rose tuts, and she sits gingerly next to you on the couch. “Sol—“ She pauses. “Eri—“ Another pause. “You look terrible,” she finally decides on, and you bare your teeth into the pillow.

“No shit, Sherlock. What’s wrong with me?”

“A botched ritual,” she responds immediately. “It’s a forced joining ceremony, usually used between a human and a demon or two humans, rather than two demons. I think that’s the problem; the spell wasn’t made to encompass so much power, and now you’re, well.” She gestures at you, and Dave is standing behind her, grimacing. “You’re definitely joined, I’d say.” It takes all of your willpower not to jump at her and wring her neck, but you manage.

—>

It takes a few months for Rose to prepare what she needs to get you back to normal, and in that time you’re forced to stay at Karkat’s house. The first time you see him, his name sounds something like “K-Kar” but by this point you’ve settled on using just KK or Kar interchangeably. You slowly get to know yourself; your two life stories, likes and dislikes, friends and foes. Two people weren’t meant to be one, but you think you manage well. One half enjoys it for the closeness, and the other can’t admit it but they do, too. A lot of your time is spent laying around having conversations with yourself, all but dead to the world around you.

When Rose finally has her unjoining ritual ready, a sense of fear and loss rises in you like the tide, soothed only by internal promises that you can stay together as two, just not as one.

—> Be Eridan

The fighting starts just two weeks after you and Sollux are separated once more. You’re still both at Karkat’s house, under the watchful eye of Kanaya and Rose; most waking moments are spent with you clinging to Sollux, feeling a sense of loss at being by yourself again. He lets you do it, holds your hand when you ask, even crawls into bed with you of his own volition at night.

You’re both confused. You didn’t even know each other before this; the confusion is what starts the fighting. He’s scared, you’re too close, you know too much; you’d know this even if he weren’t projecting his deepest fears outward every time he saw you. He starts taking his anger out on everyone, and Dave seems to be the only one who can calm him. Karkat tells you to watch your projection, because the jealousy, murder-y vibes are starting to creep Dave out. Sollux avoids you, and the next few weeks are miserable; the loss is palpable, a physical ache in your chest.

—>

You’re not sure what changes, but Sollux slowly starts joining you at night again. At first it’s just the same bed, but eventually he wraps his arms around you, pressing his chest to your back. After a few weeks, you get the courage to acknowledge him without fear it’ll make him leave.

“You’re a little too short to be bein’ the big spoon.”

“Shut up.” He presses his face into your neck and you smile, radiating feelings of warmth and contentment.

—> Be current Sollux

Eridan is sort of a mystery to you. You didn’t know him before that summoning, but something about him makes you feel protective. You freaked out once for a few weeks because Rose said something about soulmates, and it wasn’t until Karkat lectured you about how terrible you were making Eridan feel that you ignored what she said and went back to trying to behave with some semblance of a normal person.

Being with Eridan is easy, in a way. Your personalities mesh or clash depending on the day, but he’s always happy to just sit with you when you need quiet, and he’ll let you just hold his hand if you get too freaked out or lonely. In the grand scheme of things, you two were joined for less than half a year, but it felt like an eternity to learn to navigate a new body and new responses to things. You miss it more than you think you should.

Eridan gets it, though. For the most part, when you try to explain how you’re feeling about it he mirrors your concerns. There’s no handbook on how to handle separating into two people after being one, no Unjoining For Dummies, so the two of you are on your own.

On a side note, you’re almost entirely sure Rose coined the phrase “unjoining” to fuck with you.

—>

Eridan’s needs are fairly simple. He has to apply a water based lotion or gel to his gills every two hours or so to make sure he doesn’t die or something, and any sort of praise is met with enthusiastic response. He feeds off all emotion, but positive is what he likes best.

You, on the other hand, are more difficult, and it’s a miracle how he puts up with you. You feed off technology, and you’re constantly putting the power out for brief stints of time (which drives Karkat fucking bonkers, but everyone else laughs it off). The voices of the damned can force you to lock yourself away at times, and Eridan, saint he is, will pull up a chair and sit near you until you feel normal again.

Nothing is “normal” anymore. Something in you aches for Eridan, even when he’s right next to you, and you’ve never depended on another person so much in your life. The first time he says he loves you, the only thing that keeps you from bursting into tears is how much love he radiates, making you feel warm and whole. As it is, you’re choked up enough that you can’t say it back, just clutch him to you like a lifeline from a rocky shore.

Nothing is normal anymore, but everything feels much more right.

#homestuckss #jackthekit.kat #homestuck secret santa #homestuck #erisol #demonstuck #ayla.talk #ayla.writing

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noahpoligy · 5 years

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An entire “album”, written on 9/13/2019

So I got super inspired in the bathroom to “write an album” whatever that means. So, I sat down, and forced to write a ton of lyrics all in one sitting. The most I’ve ever written has been 2-3 songs at once, and well, here’s 10. I started grasping at straws towards the ends, whatever was coming to mind honestly. I was listening to “Rape Me” by Nirvana in the shower and I thought to myself “Why not change that to “Hate me”, because I personally feel like I have a fair share of haters, but none of them hate me as much as I hate certain aspects about myself, ya know? Anywho, I might fuck around and see if I can find demo versions of songs w/o lyrics or whatever and see if I can produce any of these into actual listenable songs. We’ll see. Sadly, my motivation goes away with as I sleep. It took me 3 hours to write all of this, and honestly I think I should mention that it’s a bit funny comparing the second thing I wrote to the last.

So I guess this is a “light” concept album. I think the one present theme that all these share is self perception and belief in one’s emotions and beliefs. I’m pretty tired as I right this, I can’t think of the word for that, if there is one. I’ll probably rewrite aspects of tracks 1, 4, 6, and 7. 1 looks too much like Rape Me, 4 needs “more”, I’d honestly like a rap section in there, 6 I’m just unhappy with some of the lines, it comes off as corny to me. 7 needs a chorus and the ending I just randomly threw in, so that needs to be fixed too.

Track 1: Hate Me

I hate me

You hate me, and my friends

hate me

I’m not the only one

I hate me

I’ll say it again and again

You’re a waste to me

You hate me and my friends

I’m not the only one

Every time I do anything it’s for the worst

A kiss would tag you as a whore

I appreciate your concern

I’d like you to die so you can burn

I hate me

You hate me my friend

Hate me

Hate me and my friends

I’m not the only one

I hate me

hate me

It sates me

========================================================

Track 2: Something More

She waits at windows

She daydreams all day

And sleeps away her frowns, for now

She just waits around wishing she

Could meet that single another

At night in a parking lot wearing that new dress she bought

Only for her to go back home, she’s let down easy

She goes out to buy a drink

I noticed the one Friday she didn’t, she was locked up high

There’s something about her innocence

That makes her chafe for love

And she’s down to explain what she’s looking for

She says she wants me and will help me become someone more

Dead leaves, the sky desolate of summer

I’m underage so I’ll stand outside while you get the drinks

Tomorrow you can smoke me out, and we can hang around the cemetery

Do we need each other?

We’re two discount lives without any numbers in our bank accounts

Do you think that if I wait around that maybe she

Might go back to her room and say it was all a lie?

She’ll tell her parents that she doesn’t know my name and I’ll sigh

Get out of my head demon, you’re dismissed

I will change for love

And she explained how long she’s waited for

Something more

Come, Goodbye, I might just see you another night, and if you don’t I understand if you can’t find that definite reason why you should stay. I’ll watch you walk away

She says that she will change for love

And she explains how long she’s waited for something more

And as these days go by, it ends that track of how long we’ve waited for

In love there’s more

In love there’s something more.

============================================================

Track 3: Self-Faith

Wrap me up in my true skin

Drag me in front of my mother’s eyes

My innocence is tragic

My innocence is damned

And in a sense I’m gifted because of it all

I can breathe underwater

I can fly high in the sky

I can burrow deep inside my chest

and stab another with my teeth

and I live underground

If you spend your love around me

You’ll know fantasies beyond your wildest dreams

And before you know it, your love is gone

Cause there’s nothing as awkward as what I see

And in your fear, you’ll disappear.

You saw my dreams, you saw death.

I believe in no one

I believe in another way

But my beliefs are not noticed

My beliefs are all held of faith

Faith in me, and that’s why I must escape

And in this ring our wedding will be true

And with this wring I will separate us in two

And with this ring you’ll see what’s in my head

And inside you’ll find the truth

Now let me tell you, if you spend your love around

We’ll enact our fantasies so they’re no longer dreams

You’ll find that your love is hard

And that it’s exactly what it seems

And no one will disappear

Even during the darkest hour

To the revelations

To the fresh baked victims

To the weak that have succumbed

They hate me

So speak your peace

While the drum drowns you out

You’re not wasting

A single breath at all

Because strength is your weakness

Your weakness is your hate

And it’s something you just can’t explain

You’re sniffing on some roses

They’re so beautiful

You’re getting so lost inside their smell

The others have come, to make you dumb

The others have come, to hold you down

The others have come, to hold, you, down

========================================================

Track 4: Run Away

Monkey see monkey do, run away

Fuck around and follow you, run away

I don’t like you, I’ll keep it in, run away

Another fool with pencilled skin, run away

There he is, take him out, run away

He never laughs he never smiles, run away

He can’t run he’s a cripple, run away

Let’s beat his ass, it’s good fun, run away

Run away Run Away

Run Away

Monkey see monkey do, run away

Fuck around and follow you, run away

Cut him up but keep it in, run away

Another fool with poisoned skin, run away

Run Away Runaway

Run Away

Run Away Runaway

Run Away

Away, Runaway

Run Away

Don’t Stay

Run Away

Don’t Stay

Get Away

Rat-a-tat-tat.

========================================================

Track 5: Who the Fuck Are You?

You say I’m gonna fall

Well I can’t wait to let you down

You say I’m gonna fail

We all know you’re a fucking joke

Get out.

You’ve lost equality.

Get out.

You’re below a fail.

Can anyone anywhere believe that you’re true?

Does anyone anywhere wanna be you?

You say I’m a faggot

Well at least I’m not a bigot, kid

You say I’m lucky

It takes knowledge to play the cards

Get out.

You’re a waste of sperm.

Anyone anywhere can beat you

Does anyone anywhere actually wanna face you?

Who’d wanna bother with you?

I guess I’d like to, bring it fucker.

Lousy, you’re knocked out sky high

You’re flat out dead in the head

Does anyone wanna support you?

Does anyone anywhere actually believe in you?

Does anyone anywhere wanna be you?

Do you wanna be you?

=========================================================

Track 6: Family Crest

I bathe in silence

I want you to notice

I’ve got a god complex

I already know I’m gonna pass the test

I’m on fire

I’d hold on their hearts from the inside

And squirm myself inside and take control

I want everything they have and I want it now

I’ll find a way

Today I can waste away

I once flew away

Far away, from all of this, and I nearly died

Miserable dust and homeless mutts

Hating my face and wanting to wither away without a trace

I didn’t hate anything else but my own and me.

I’m gonna bleed

To make me believe

That my hearts still there

But is it really? I need a fucking shovel

I’ll clean off the dust, our faces will meet

I disconnected by cutting the string

Anytime that you’d try to talk to me

I bathe in silence

I want you to notice

I’ve got a god complex

I already know I’m gonna pass the test

I’m on fire

I’ll hold onto their brains from the inside

I’ve got their heads believing in me

It’s not enough I want fucking more

I wanna bleed

To make them believe

Someone hurt me

So then maybe I’ll feel something

===========================================================

Track 7: Horribly Ever After

Let out the stampeding horses

Suffer in your suburban houses

Withdraw from the taste of the devil and God’s affair falling from the sky

Scream all you want you’re in a silent movie

Kiss up each other while your lives go tick tock

Beached by the groupies that are sick of your stuck-up hinds

Vacant is your deposition

Dead is your fleet of propogandic sources

Your sister is actually your aunt your father had an incestual affair

You scoffed away the very true sources

You chose to go to war against another’s imaginary friend

Blood is the key to eternal life and that’s why Earth wants more death

It’s about time

It’s about, concluding you

Black skies bring fears

Unleash armageddon, tute yourself and say one final prayer

it’ll be one last moment before you’re off where you belong my dear

Lust for a reality that is like the movies

A life where you survive the locusts

It all goes away when a angels voice says you’re damned for eternity for being a stupid sheep, you need to be fucking sheered.

It’s about time. Maybe now you can see

Too bad you suck

Too bad you’re dumb

You looked directly at the sun and now you can’t see

This is the final message

Soon you’ll be stabbed by the ancient armies

Death by thousands of roses

It’ll take years but that’s what you deserve

You’ll be raped by the soldiers

They’ll embroider their band on your skull

You’ll probably enjoy it, it’s like your inverted cross tattoo

I guess you got what you desired, your spot in hell.

Black skies bring blood

Black skies bring flood

Black skies bring you

Black lies bring truth

==========================================================

Track 8: Hysteria

I woke up to a message of love

Though I don’t think we’ve ever spoke on the phone

I’m obsessed with the poison of us

I wonder why I can’t seem to find one to trust

Is there even a soul living inside of ya?

Oh yeah oh no, there’s nothing in that stereo baby

I’d try to bridge on over and see what’s up but it’d crack under your pressure

You need a miracle

And I’m no miracle

You’re honestly hysterical

What the fuck is going on inside of ya?

I’m unimpressed with my presence at best

I get depressed from the needles of sunlight that bleed through the blinds

I make shit up so I think I’m the best

Honestly though, there’s no one I can trust

There’s no one living inside this universe

You can call me No Paranoia Noah baby

I’m the last motherfucker that’s not hysterical

I’m not one to crack under any amount of pressure

If you’re looking for a miracle it’s me

Now now, come on, get your broken soul out of bed baby

What’s so funny? I’m at least trying and you’re staying a degenerate

You’re lying in your bed about a broken phoney bone

Come on I see a spark of something in ya

Skip the jokes, escape living in hysteria

=======================================================

Track 9: It Will Become

The doorbell has rung, it’s coming true

The silence and the dread, it ends here

You’ve waited and now it’s time

Come into the utopia of....

The future of earth will become

There is a past yes, it’s clear.

You better take this face and choose your race and face the race for the constant search for anything

You’ve waited and now it’s time

Come into the the utopia of....

The future of your life will become

=========================================================

Track 10: Falling Apart

I’ve got no legs

Fuck the shadows are in me too

These thoughts they won’t leave my head

Wait.... Why are my legs on the other side of the room

I was your everything

You were the one last thing I’d ever think of doing anything wrong to

Yet you’re right next to me with blood and blades all around you

I was yours and you were my one true love

And now arms are stuffed with lace

And my you’re chewing on one of my eyes

My tongue is stapled to my nose

And my legs, oh god, you’re eating my toes

I was yours and I guess now I’m yours

Why did you cut me into this

We were best friends

And now I’m just meat

-------------

Oh, hey, good morning!

=========================================================

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