#so that made me get back into audiobooks bc i need to listen to smth that isnt music

[bunnihearted]

apparently im in my audiobook era now.... ૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱ა

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

So I was meaning to post updates for my Farseer Trilogy liveblogging because y’all seemed to really like the last one but one thing lead to another and I finished the book before I could even pick up my phone. SO- here are my thoughts at the end of book 1! (Contains spoilers)

- I’ll try to go chronologically so bear w me

- Look I love chade okay? He’s funny and mysterious but how on EARTH does the whole court think it a good idea to have a child deal with their political issues eye-

- like “oh, boggers! We have found a breach in our enemy’s defence after a war of interests that has lasted decades! Now we only need to gruesomely murder this well known politician, but whoever could be up to the task? Ah yes, this eleven year old warrior cats enthusiast will do”

- Yes I will refer to the Wit only as being a warrior cats stannie bc y’all know that if he was in the real world Fitz would have absolutely lost his mind over that saga. No I will not be accepting criticism.

- I LOVED CHADE’S RICHSONA lady time was funky

- every chapter I read I grow more worried about Fitz’s self preservation skills. He wakes up for the second time during the night, he is told to immediately go check on the royal he is serving because she’s sick, only to find out she’s just Chade in a ballgown, who tells him “there’s no time to explain, now follow me to check out this very dangerous hostage situation 2 days of travel from here” and he’s just like “ok sure” BABY!! NO??

- Forging is gonna throwin a nice angst trope eventually, I’m here for it

- my wlw heart is torn between Molly and Lady Patience... good thing I have two hands!

- Fitz please,,,,, Chade asks him “wait, does the Fool talk to you??” And Fitz is like “oh yeah :) I like when he hangs with me! He barges in, insults me and then tells me my clothes are ugly :)” BABY THAT’S CALLED BULLYING

- okay I know y’all have been waiting for this one so here it comes: FOOL RANT! I don’t know who this funky mean child is but I would do ANYTHING to keep him safe and happy. (And this time I’m not worried he’s gonna die bc there are like another 3 trilogies w his name on the title, so at least I don’t have to worry for a while) he speaks in riddles!!! I love that!! Also he tries to keep Fitz safe so we like him (more to come abt the fool, I ain’t done yet)

- MOLLY AND FITZ ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY SOMEHOW THEY BOTH MANAGED TO BE THE USELESS LESBIAN STEREOTYPE WHEN IT COMES TO FLIRTING I WAS LOOSING MY MIND LAUGHING

- like “Molly!! You deserve to be with someone who wouldn’t treat you like a piece of jewelry! You’re smart, brave and talented, not to mention beautiful, you need someone who could understand you!!” “Oh really?? Like who?” “Oh idk lol” KIDS I-

- also idk who this Jade is but I have a feeling he’s like a relative of Molly and Fitz is just being dramatic

- as you may know I’m listening to the audiobook, and I misheard Pocked Man as Pot Man, which lead to this very funny exchange:

Fitz: are you really... the Pot Man? 🥺

Chade 420-blaze-it Fallstar: not the one you’re thinking of

- I love how almost all of the characters are stoners, I feel like it’s something all fantasy sagas should consider implementing lol

- GUYS! are Lady Patience and Lacey,,, you know,,, 👀

- Lacey 🤝 Burrich: in love with one part of the royal couple while being their man/woman

- OKAY NOW BURRICH. I LOVE THIS MAN GUYS. HE IS A DECENT DAD AND HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT FITZ IT MAKES MY HEART SWELL. But MAN what bitch with the Wit hurt him like damn

- aside point, Burrich has the Wit right? He was made to feel ashamed about it but he’s another warrior cats enthusiast

- also probs not intended but the Wit especially now feels like a metaphor and my queer ass was PROJECTING I was HURT when Burrich didn’t accept Fitz bc of it

- GALEN FARSEER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING GALEN FARSEER GODDAMN FOOL SKILL TEACHING CHILD ABUSING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT BASTARD SON OF SHREWD. BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING GALEN FARSEER-

- okay no really this man is an absolute asshole how can he abuse those kids like that? Fitz almost killed himself damn like imagine being 60-smth and feeling threatened by a fucking 11 year old like get a life bastard boy

- also about that part I loved the Fitz Protection Squad™️

Fitz, at his worst, contemplating s*icide, convinced he isn’t worth shit:

Smithy, The Fool and Burrich: okay! It’s time for murder.

And they did! Well almost but verity finished the job anyway

- how sweet is the fool actually tho?? On the outside he is a bit mean, but then his room is covered in flowers, handmade dolls and swirls of colors. He avoids everyone, lives in the most remote part of the castle but as soon as he makes one friend he absolutely melts and tries his best to protect him. He acts so smug and uncaring but then gets scared when his friend avoids him, and starts going on about how he Doesn’t Actually Care About Him, The Court Just Needs Him, like sure baby. All I’m saying is please protect this kid he deserves the world.

- Verity is my only king, his wife is a kickass cool lady and I can already tell they’re gonna Fuck Shit Up together and I love it.

- yes that whole arc??? Incredible. I kept yelling at Fitz because GODDAMNIT but he did his best, he is only 14 after all (HOW DO THEY THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE HIM SUCH RESPONSIBILITIES AAAAA)

- lol tho I loved how the Fool was like “yeah so Fitz maybe don’t eat everything they give you ‘cause I’m pretty sure they want to poison you” and then Kettricken is like “hey do you want to try these weird leaves I got from my sketchy garden?” and Fitz is like “oh boy would I”

- earring! Chivalry’s earring! We like that

- Yay so Nosy was alive! Cool again I don’t usually get emotional over dogs jfhdhufjdj I’m sorry I’m a disgrace (I’m confident this will change but for now eh)

- something that will positively destroy me is when Burrich will die eventually (and I know it happens cuz my dad SPOILED it for me) I don’t think I’ll be able to stand that

-okay so yes in general this book has completely made me fall in love and I’m definetly in for the whole saga lol. I was thinking of reading the three Fitz trilogies first and then go back and read the dragons and the other one

- I’ll probably make 2+ posts like this every book, so you can find them on the “#greta reads” in my acc :) anyways tagging a few people who enjoyed the last one @wellamarke @violetiris-ak @wolfofmars thank youuu