#so thats gonna be extremely exciting seeing as i constantly need to google the difference between a white wine glass and a red wine glass

[paralien]

Hey, ik idk you and your friends, but since apparently your other friends don't take your side - B sounds like a dick the way he's treating you and you're right to be mad about it!! And like, why would your friend even ask why you're not going to his place if she KNOWS what's up, wtf!! I'm so sorry that you're going through such a shitty situation!!

Sorry for the late reply; I didn't see I'd received an ask! ;; But it's so so so sweet of you to reach out to me to reassure me. I genuinely appreciate it so much you have no idea ♡

But yeah it is, an extremely shitty situation. Esp bc they seem to assume I've got the same information/am in the same situation as them when I'm, very much not and I've been vocal about that since everything happened ... + the whole ... "oh he's not ignoring you/he still cares abt you/you just need to reach out" spiel that same friend has been going on abt for months too just. Makes me feel so alienated from the reality that I'm experiencing, if that makes sense? Like. She knows he flirted w me, had sex w me, and then stopped talking to me after that under the excuse that he was oh so busy .. and yet I'm still the one that needs to reach out?

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if I've overreacted just bc of the way that I feel everyone underreacts. Not to even mention the fact that mutual friends of me and B will say that hey what happened sucked and i didn't deserve that and B is being a dick, but as far as i know none of them have actually said to his face that hey B you've been a dick. Not that i want him to be alienated by his own friends bc I know he's genuinely struggling rn and I'm a pushover but, if he can't take my feelings seriously when they come from me .. would he take them seriously and actually reconsider the entire situation if someone else said it...? Idk .. I'm just talking out loud here but, still, thank you for reaching out ♡ It made me feel less alone

[vannahinjapan]

The Struggle

This would be prefaced with several breathtaking photos of Yamanashi (my town) that I hypothetically would have taken if both my phone and camera weren’t broken. 

I’m really busy so this blog is not going to be very exciting for a while, and also will remain photo-less until I can make it to tokyo to find a camera shop.

Wednesday, however, I did go to a huge fireworks festival in my town. The fireworks were all timed to music. Again, no photos sorry.

And I had my first day of classes today. I spent all Thursday decorating what I like to call “The Mystery Box”, which is a cardboard box of prizes the kids can get if they get enough stickers on their point cards. I spent 5 or 6 hours on it since I literally had no work to do Thursday except prepping. And I can’t leave until 4:30. I meticulously cut out different words and shapes and question marks. It’s like...my pride and joy. I will take photos eventually.

Intro classes went pretty well. I taught 7th graders today. I gave them a short presentation about Kentucky (like state bird is cardinal, state flower, etc) and then quizzed them to see if they remembered. Then we played a game where we passed a beach ball around and they had to answer questions I had written down where their right hand landed. Like “My name is....” or “I am ___ years old”. Some classes were really quiet and hard to get to participate, and then others were running around the classroom and trying to pry the beach ball out of each others arms. 3/4 classes asked me if I had a boyfriend during the QnA part. 

After classes I helped them with “touban” which is when they split up by classes and clean the school. I helped one of the 7th grade classes clean a hallway, and they explained to me in mixed english/japanese how to do everything.

Then I walked around to look at the band playing their instruments. They were really cute and excited to talk to me in broken english about their instruments. Especially 3 girls who play the euphonium. 

There’s going to be a school festival soon, where all the clubs will display what theyve been doing over the school year. Hopefully I’ll have a camera by then. It’s in about two weeks I think.

Okay, the rest of this post is just going to be me complaining about being an adult so feel free to stop reading here.

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This is all gonna be just boring complaints, sorry.

So I think my biggest issue with daily life right now is that I’m being buried alive in trash right now, and I can’t get rid of it because taking out trash in this city is more complicated than learning calculus. 

CONVOLUTED EXPLANATION (for those who are curious):

So first, there are certain items that you take to a recycle station and separate: glass bottles, aluminum cans, plastic egg cartons, plastic trays, plastic bottles, plastic bottle caps, and milk/juice cartons. Then, there is another place where you put cardboard boxes, but first you have to cut them up into equal pieces and tie them up with twine two ways (like christmas presents). There is also another place for you to put newspapers and magazines, which you stack and tie just like cardboard boxes. Then there are two other categories--mixed plastics/others and mixed paper (I learned that toilet paper and tissue counts as burnables but printer paper, etc gets recycled)--which I have to take to a separate location (which I haven’t actually been to yet). These have to go out every wednesday or saturday morning before 8:30 am (and you can’t leave them out the night before, you have to go in the morning). And then lastly there is a category called burnables, which is all the food stuffs, tissue paper, etc. That goes outside the apartment every Tuesday and Friday before 8:30 am. 

Currently I have 5 large trash bags full of plastics, wrappers, and giant chunks of Styrofoam which came with some furniture I ordered on amazon. Then I have two piles of enormous cardboard boxes that I have yet to cut down. And a full bag of burnables. And a full bag of mixed papers.

I don’t have a car yet, so the only thing I have to transport these is my bike, which is like.....impossible. And I hate asking for help so I’ve basically just been sitting here in shame for two weeks. 

I’ve been talking to a previous jet who might sell me here car, but somethings wrong with the shocks, she says, and it has yet to get inspected (required in japan) which will cost money. 

I also have about 5 days to figure out how to pay my rent at an atm that has no english, but a coworker has offered to take me so thats figured out at least. 

I have no phone, so no way to find my way around. And no way to contact people when I’m out of the house.

And the new phone I ordered arrived at my apartment before I got here so it’s floating around some nearby post office probably. 

It seems like all petty complaints, but every time I need to get a package I have to struggle through a japanese over the phone conversation, then look up how to get there on google maps and try to memorize it because i have no phone, and then try to find it on my bike in the heat and also find a time to do it when I’m not working. 

Also a friend is having me look after her bird, which honestly i can’t look after myself so I’m worried about. And I’ve had to keep my air conditioner running constantly, which is going to run up the bill.

But I think my biggest struggle so far has just been loneliness and isolation. My coworkers are very nice, but we’re not exactly friends yet. The other alt’s live far enough away that its not convenient to get to them, and while I’ve chatted with and become casually aquainted with most of them, I haven’t really become great friends with any of them. And most of them already have a person/people they talk to mostly. And the JET’s who were already here previously have already formed their friendships and its kind of hard to weasel my way in. 

I keep thinking, despite myself, of all the things I would be doing if I were back home, like lounging in my bed not worrying about things, or watching tv shows with my family, or hanging out with my friends. 

I’ve been trying to stay positive and for the most part I’m happy since my job is pretty rewarding, but in the evenings its just me and I wish I had someone to talk to.

I’m sure I’ll become better friends with some of the people here as time goes on, but for now its a struggle. 

Tomorrow there’s a huge fire festival at the base of Mt. Fuji that marks the closing of Mt. Fuji. It doesn’t actually close until September 11th, but I won’t have time to climb it this year. So I guess I’ll be doing that next year. 

I’m really sad because I have absolutely nothing to take pictures with. Also I haven’t been able to find someone to get a ride from and I have no phone so I’ll have to just wing it as far as finding the location, and it’s more than an hour away. 

It seems like just about everything I try to do here is extremely stressful. Just finding my way around. 

Not to mention cooking for myself all the time. 

Sorry for an extremely boring post. It’s probably going to be like this for a while, until I settle in and start doing things (and have a camera).