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#so there goes Harrow the Ninth (which I just restarted so the pet where Harrow discusses writing a suicide note was. BAD)
first-flower-of-my-house
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2 years
Text
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#personal
#random
#fuck my brain is just. so bad tonight
#I am just Not Doing Good At All okay
#i don’t want to exist anymore
#I have reached the fun intersection of Depression and Autism where 90% of noise is bad
#but I need sound to keep my brain from ‘kill yourself kill yourself kiil yourself’ constantly
#so I can’t listen to music in case of Bad Sound
#and I can only listen to Non Depressing Audiobooks
#so there goes Harrow the Ninth (which I just restarted so the pet where Harrow discusses writing a suicide note was. BAD)
#and probably not To Sleep in a Sea of Stars just to be safe
#I *want* to listen to HtN though
#I might go with Cast in whatever
#I honestly get the titles mixed up for Chronicles of Elantra
#I think I’m on Cast in Flame?
#idk anyway I’m not sure if a Bad Noise will happen in that book
#so idk man
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