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#so uh... glad she's working on herself. not idead that this is how it happened
dragons-and-yellow-roses ยท 1 year
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I Fucked Up
#i was calling a friend on friday#we got to talking about the summer camp we both work at#and i knew what positions people would be offered even before offers were sent out#i mentioned that i knew where she worked and she said 'i know where im working i just dont know if im assistant director or not'#and i said that unfortunately shes not#after that the conversation kinda died and i was at work so i said bye#today she texted me that she was really upset that i just dropped that news and left#and i didnt know what she was talking about#she said the only thing she was looking forward to was being assistant director and i just dropped that news and left her as she was crying#i didnt realize she was crying! i didnt realize it had meant that much to her and it had affected her so negatively#otherwise i wouldnt have left. but i feel so bad now cuz i love her and i know shes not doing too well rn#so that was uhm not ideal#but then she texted something to the effect of#'its okay it helped me realize no matter how many people say they care ill always be alone at the end#so i should just start to be myself instead of a fake person that i hate made for other people#so uh... glad she's working on herself. not idead that this is how it happened#not great that i hurt someone i care so much about#ive been told that i dont think before i speak. perhaps this was one of those times#but goodness gracious i never thought i could fuck up this bad#i feel so bad... she gave no indication on that call that she was upset. i didnt hear her crying at all#i feel absolutely terrible and i really dont know how to fix this#she said its okay now but theres clearly a lot of negative feelings still there and trust needs to be earned back#fuck
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