#i feel so bad... she gave no indication on that call that she was upset. i didnt hear her crying at all

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I Fucked Up

[lokavisi]

So about two nights ago, I had a really solid conversation with Loki. A friend got some cues from him through their pendulum, we were both very confused, and then my wife (who barely gives a shit about the Guy lol) interprets this message so pristinely. It was like getting slapped upside the head when she gave her explanation. So I started free writing to continue the conversation more directly with Loki. There were a few big points made in this conversation.

First, he expressed frustration that, in spite of working with him for 4 years now, I still don't seem to "get" him. Like I keep coming to him to vent about some bullshit that's winding me up, he offers a suggestion to help me unwind, and then I brush it off or forget or just straight up ignore it. So he was like, "I've been telling you the same shit for 4 years now... It feels like you're just fundamentally ignoring all the parts of me that make me, ME." So...naturally I felt really fucking stupid and shitty.

Then he very lovingly affirmed that "this isn't me being facetious or angry or trying to put you down. I'm frustrated and irritated, yes, but surely you do realize by now that I fucking love you and you're stuck with me." This meant a lot to me more so than it might for others because my ADHD comes with mad rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Any time anyone says something that indicates some level of upset at me, my brain catastrophizes and breaks down because "clearly" it means they hate me. (This is basically never the case.) This leads me to the primary nugget of wisdom that came from this conversation.

I realized this whole time (once my wife interpreted the initial message) I was hearing him more clearly than I had in a long time. It was nearly as if a physical person sat next to me speaking. As the conversation was wrapping up, I made a note of this and asked, "Why do I feel l hear you clearest when you're frustrated with me?" We've had plenty of similar conversations, and when I look back at past moments when I simply couldn't deny the messages were coming from outside myself, he usually had some level of frustration with me. But to answer my question, he said:

"Because that's all you wanna hear. That's all you think you deserve. Even when you seek love or comfort and I provide, you don't always fully receive it. I try to be funny to cheer you up and you won't have it, just calling me stupid. You are terrible at receiving input that doesn't put you down or reinforce any negative thoughts you believe about yourself. So stop it. Seriously. Fucking stop believing bad shit about yourself."

He went on to talk about the rune readings I did for a bunch you on here (thanks again for the practice❤️), and how I should be pumping myself up from all the positive feedback I got from it. And we exchanged some jokes and "I love you"'s before calling it a night.

As per usual, I share my story in a giant block of text to remind everyone of what Loki reminded me: to not just take in the messaging that supports a negative view of yourself. Allow yourself to believe that you are the gods' gift to humanity. (I just heard him say, "Seriously. I do it all the time. It works wonders for your self-esteem." 😂❤️) Maybe that verbage doesn't have the greatest connotations, but the point is to think more highly of yourself. Believe in the power and confidence that you possess. Even if it doesn't feel like you have either of these things, fake it til you make it - until you realize they've been here this whole time.

I'm on this struggle bus, too, y'all. We're gonna find ourselves together. Hail Loki ❤️

[lfghughes]

Light a Fire

a/n: i’m going to be honest about this request, i loved writing it but i know 0 about f1 except from a few videos i see on tiktok so dont hate me

“What do you even know about F1?” Mat laughed and all that really did was irritate you. You could feel your cheeks start to burn, a good indication of your annoyance. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything at all to him. But then he would have gotten irritated that you didn’t tell him you were seeing someone. “Oh I’m sorry, do all of your exes have extensive knowledge on hockey? Is that a requirement?”

His eyes widened slightly at your snippiness towards him and instead he held his hands up in surrender. “I don’t get why you’re getting so defensive over a joke.” Both of you had been friends for years and this was one of those rare moments that you would consider a fight. Usually Mat was the person you’d go to for anything and everything but right now he was making it really easy to not want to talk to him.

“Whatever Mat, anyways. Lando is flying in later today. I was going to invite you to get food and drinks with us later but don’t bother showing up if you’re going to be annoying.” That was a clear warning because last thing you wanted was for your dinner to be ruined by Mat saying something rude or being this weird version of himself. “I’ll be there. Got to make sure he’s cool.” He left it at that and you weren’t really in the mood to keep on talking so instead you gave him the details he would need for later.

Once at the restaurant you didn’t even think about the irritating events from earlier, not as you and Lando walked up to the table he had reserved. But when you caught sight of Mat you did feel some nerves in your stomach and silently willed him to be on his best behavior. “Hey, I’m Mat.” He held his hand out for a handshake as Lando returned it. “She’s told me a lot about you.” Which was true because Mat was in a lot of your stories but you couldn’t help but pick up on the slight tone of irritation in his voice.

Throughout the dinner there were slight bits of attitude here and there coming from both guys and honestly by the time the food came out you were ready to just be back home. This wasn’t going the way you wanted it to. “You’re still coming to my game tomorrow right?” Mat asked and you wanted to hit your head against your hand because how could you forget. It was a pretty important one for him and he had asked days back if you wanted tickets.

“Actually we already have plans for tomorrow.” Lando started and Mat let out a laugh that let you know he was pissed. “Could you maybe get one extra ticket? I’m sure we could adjust our plans.” You asked, hopeful at least that maybe just maybe Mat would be okay with this and not hold it over you. “It’s last minute and I already got tickets for my dad too. I can’t just give out tickets, you know that.” 

With those words being said, Mat pulled his wallet out, pulling out a $100 bill and putting it on the table. “I’m going to head out, sorry to be rude.” And he was exiting the building. What was his problem? “I’ll be right back.” You quickly said and followed him on out. “Mat, wait.” You called out after him as you stepped outside in the cool air. Mat paused, turning around slowly and you could tell he was definitely upset.

“I’m sorry I forgot about the game. You know I wanted to be there.” But you also felt bad canceling on Lando when he had flown out here. “You just don’t get it, do you? You don’t see it and I don’t know how. Call me when you figure it out.” He went to turn around and your head was spinning slightly from his words, you had no clue what he was talking about. “Mathew what are you talking about?” You noticed the pause from using his full first name and he turned back around again. “I’m in love with you and you don’t even see it.”

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity 17

Here we go. Apology Tour. Just... there are so many moments that are flat out nonsensical from a writer's viewpoint but, as previously established, I'm just going over the decisions that don't make sense story-wise.

I guess for starters, Blitzo for going out of his way to talk to Stolas. Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome or he's getting so desperate for someone to be there to care that he dies and thinks he's not really having that with Loona or Millie or Moxxie and he's burned so many bridges that Stolas managed to be the one that Blitzo will settle for, but I cannot think of any logical reason otherwise that Blitzo would try talking things out with Stolas. After all, Blitzo's got a crystal now; he's even used it in this episode a few times. Blitzo doesn't have to do anything with an owl who coerced him into a sex deal, constantly demeaned and belittled him, and is actively acting like he never did such things or that he's off the hook just because of the initiative to call of the deal. So why the fuck is Blitzo wanting to patch things up with Stolas? He could get another hookup to have angry sex with or have a transactional relationship if that's what he wants, and it'll actually be on his terms that time. (Again, I got my theories but I got no indicator in the show if I'm right on either one and it's the most improbable thing ever that the show will actually go any other route than romantic endgame).

I also don't get why the fuck Blitzo doesn't bring up some damn good points in that argument with Stolas, either. Striker has never been a fucking friend, especially not when Millie and Moxxie, imps that Stolas should at least know are associated with Blitzo, fought Striker to save his fucking life. Why the hell would Blitzo want his declared family to around a guy who wouldn't think twice about killing them? Blitzo's not that callous. Plus, there's also the fact that Stolas was entirely blasé about being kidnapped, gave no useful information on how to find him and Striker, and Blitzo talked about how Loona, his daughter, is finally getting a shot she needs and she can't afford to miss it. Where is that very good memory you gloated about having, Stolas? But again, I don't get why Blitzo never brought any of that up, like how Husk didn't bring up that Angel harassed him and pushed his boundaries when told by Vaggie to go get him. (Is the hellaverse a world you're allowed to sexually harass people if you're not as bad as certain other people and so there's no point even bringing up that you're sexually harassing people like it's anything important, especially when you're upset about something?) But I digress

Finally, I don't get Blitz's fucking apology list. Martha because not only she was a hit, meaning that Moxxie is just as guilty and Millie, too, but also that the bitch tried to kill them. I agree with Millie. You don't have to feel too bad about killing people if they try killing you (I just would rather it was self-defense than killing you back). The Dhorks agents make even less sense because they were the ones who started shit first, with the kidnapping and the later attempted murder. There's also Brennan Ragers, since Octavia is actually the one to kill him even if it was just an accident. Oh, and I rather don't like that Moxxie's name was on that list but there was a question mark next to it, like Blitzo is genuinely unsure if he ever did anything to Moxxie to be sorry for

Finally, there's Blitzo's just showing up at the party where all his exes are. Considering that he apparently has broken up with so many people who thoroughly hate him to the point where they get together every year to hate their mutual ex, then why the fuck would Blitzo not bother with a disguise right from the get go? Maybe to an extent, the partygoers, unless drunk or whatever shit, are too stupid to notice their most hated ex just being at the fucking party

Of course, there's goddamn fucking Stolas. His moments are mostly more subdued but they're still noticeable and it has lasting power. Like I said above, Stolas is actively acting like he was never a condescending prick and it's not entirely his fucking fault that Blitzo sees him the way he does. Like... Stolas... if you mean to tell me you truly never thought you were behaving badly in the sense of looking down on Blitzo... then what the fuck did you think you were doing? There's missing social cues and stuff and then there's fucking social braindead-ness. How the fuck does someone end up this socially inept? Even though Stolas was isolated in childhood save for some imp servants, but then he got to be around more people when he became an adult. Considering how eager for friends he was when Blitzo was bought to be his playmate and how Stolas is stuck with an angry woman he doesn't even like, you'd think Stolas would be eager to try talking to other nobles at the very least. We know that he attends parties even if they're by Stella's design and there's no literally no reason to think that Stolas can't go to other events hosted by others. Yet Stolas remains just as socially inept even when surrounded by more people, even if it's just in comparison to his childhood. So how the fuck does Stolas live his life around others and think that it's flattering to be called a plaything? In fact, just the way he handled breaking off the deal in Full Moon was stupid but I'll get to that when I talk about the post exclusively about the Stolitz relationship (And holy fuck, do I have a list over how much I think it sucks and why and to think, the show's not over yet)

[sugolara]

𝙃𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨

ft. yandere! Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader

previous || series m.list || next

Delicate Beauty

In fact, Izuku never returned to class. He instead went home which didn't go unnoticed by Shota and his friends as well as one other. Everyone else didn't really care as they didn't know him that well.

Still, F/n was concerned for him. His outburst caused her to rethink everything. Why was he upset? She had noticed that he had tears and his cheeks were pink. But why?

Was it because of her and Shoto? She should have been mindful and figured that maybe Izuku doesn't do well being around a lot of people. He has mentioned that before.

She felt bad as she now realized the issue she caused.

When the school bell rang, indicating it was time to go home, she quickly grabbed her bag as well as Izuku's. Her friends however stopped her.

Shoto still felt flustered from their kiss. He knew it was an accident but he hoped this wouldn't make their friendship awkward. He also happened to notice her carrying Izuku's bag, "You're heading to his home?"

Thankfully, there was no awkward tension. She nodded in concern, "I feel bad. He's mentioned he doesn't do good around many people. He must've had an anxiety attack."

"Oh, no." Ochaco worryingly said and then perked up, "I can go with you! If he's not feeling well we can bring him something."

"That is very nice, Ochaco." Tenya then looked at F/n, "Do you happen to know his address?"

She stared at Ochaco for a while before giving her attention to her navy-haired friend, "I was thinking about calling or texting him."

"I'm sure Mr. Aizawa has his address." Tenya then added, fixing his school bag strap.

"Do you want us to accompany you?" Shoto asked.

"Uh..we'll." F/n looked at each of her friends. She didn't think Izuku would be fine with having a few people in his place. Besides, she had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that bringing them would cause unspeakable things, "It's okay. I'll go alone."

All excitement left as Ochaco gave her friend a look, "Okay, bye."

"Make sure to let us know if he's doing better." Tenya said as he shortly followed after her.

Shoto lingered for a while before saying his goodbyes, "My moms visiting tomorrow. She wants to know if you can come by for dinner."

She smiled at him, "Yep! I'll be there."

With that she was alone and she began to grab Izuku's notebook. Shota has already left so asking him for her friend's address is a no go.

When she opened his bag, she was surprised at how many notebooks there were. There was even a f/c notebook that caught her eye. She was a little curious to see what he had written down, but she knew it was disrespectful to go through other people's belongings.

She peacefully walked towards Izuku's home. She had texted him and he instantly replied his home address. It was fairly close to her own home, but the walk would be a little longer.

She found it strange how the streets were completely empty. No sign of humans or animals. It deeply disturbed her but she continued onward and just hoped that everyone was in their homes. She would refuse for her mind to go crazy.

And it didn't make it feel any better that the night of the carnival she felt like someone was watching her. They're were plenty of people walking by but it seemed that the person only had eyes for her. It even followed her to her home. She had to stay awake all night as the feeling scared her.

Before she headed to Izuku's home. She had stopped by the convenience store to buy him a snack. A way of apologizing to him for how inconsiderate she was. She hoped he liked the flower shaped candy.

She arrived and stared at his apartment door. From the outside, it was quiet. She wondered if his mother was home when she knocked.

It was quiet for a few seconds before the door opened. The same gut feeling returned as the door opened wide.

It was Inko. She smiled at the girl, "Oh, hello! You must be F/n, correct? Izuku talks a lot about you. Please, come in."

He does? She returned the gesture and stepped inside, "Yes, is Izuku here? I have his bag."

She nodded and then knocked on his bedroom door, "Izuku, F/n's here."

The door quickly opened and Izuku pulled F/n inside, startling both women. He then closed the door behind him, "I'm so glad you're here!"

F/n awkwardly looked around, his room was empty except for the desk and bed. It was also a little chilly which didn't go unnoticed by the male. She then gestured to his bag and placed it on his desk, "I came to drop this off. You never returned to class."

Izuku only stared at her. She then pulled out the candy and handed it to him, "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was being really inconsiderate about you and so I felt bad. I hope you can forgive me."

His eyes widened and shined as he gently grabbed the flower shaped candy. She acknowledged her mistake and apologized. She knew kissing Shoto was bad and she apologized? Oh, how his heart was beating with life.

"Of course I forgive you!" He widely smiled in happiness. He then hugged her, digging his face in her hair, "I'm so glad you apologized."

Okay, this wasn't exactly how she imagined this would go. She didn't move the male and instead only stood there. She felt really uncomfortable. Her heart was racing, her palms were sweaty and she felt a little lightheaded.

Also...was Izuku sniffing her hair?

She let out an uncomfortable smile and tried to move him, "I-Izuku...Umm."

He perked up, his hands never leaving her arms as he stared at her e/c eyes, "That's right I forgot! You're cold."

She let out a sound as he yanked her to his bed and threw the covers on her. He then sat next to her. 

She was deeply, deeply disturbed. She tried hard not to maintain eye contact as she had a feeling that Izuku was already looking at her, waiting for her to give her his attention.

"Ḟ̴̵̸̷̷̶̴̡̛͕̗̰̞̭̗͍̬̠̖̱͈̬̹̮̙͙̬͕̗̮̤̦͈͔͈̖͉̞̩͓̮̠͖̦͈́͛́́̂͂̽͌̔̾̋͌͊͆̽̉͌̓̌̎̀̔̇͂̊̓̄͑͗͂̊̚̕͝͠ͅͅͅ/̶̷̴̴̷̷̴̶̵̸̷̶̶̶̡̧̨̨̨̨̡̛̦͎͇͔̼̣̳͔̟̺͓̗͍͉̲͇̮̭̻̙̗͚̩̭̙̥̲̠̲̲̬̰̲̹̭̫̪̗͚̠̩̙̙̟̹͍̫͎̝̟̠͕̠͉̻̗̈̋̂̒̿̂͆̄́̔̋̏̔͐͊͛͌̿̄̌͒̂̋̈́͌́̌̑̌̈́̀̉̿̐̎̔̋̃̍̅̍͛͒̀̌̒͑̃̏̉̉̎͑̈́͛̀̀̽̐͑̒͒̀́̀̈́͊̇̉͋͒̎́͐̋̋͑̚̚͘̚̚͘̕͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅň̶̵̶̶̴̵̷̶̵̵̸̷̵̶̴̴̶̵̵̨̢̧̢̡̧̢̨̛̖͙͉̜̯̼̮͎̬͕͔̦̮̰̣̞̜̰̭̺̬̼̳͎̲͉̫̞͔̠̺̹̹͙̲̩̝̞͖̼̟̣̝̪̲̖͓̬̺̞̻͖̲̻͇̤͉̟̜͖̼̠͈̞̥̦͙̟͎̯̳̙̦̺̝͇̖͚͙̥̝͕̩̗̺͙̗̞̗̪̻̊̌̌̔͆̂͑̇̈̔͑̾͂̈̇́͆͛̾̈̀̔̾̋̆͒̃̋̌͒̆̇̎̏̑̒͂͂̈́̉̏̌͆̈͊͛̌̎̃̊͂̐͒̊͂͌̊̋̊̂́̈́̆̏͆̅͆͑̈́͛̋́̀̅͒͆͒̈́̽͊̽̽̏̒͛̑̃͒͑̅̐̋̒̐͊̍͒̅̉̎̈́̀́͛̆̽̕̚̚͘̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅ..."

Hearing her name caused her to flinch. She slowly eyed him. Her brows furrowed at his glowing green eyes, "...Yes, Izuku?"

He continued to stare at her before grinning, "Do you want to have...a sleepover?"

She was sure they could both hear her heart pounded against her chest. She tried to speak but she felt scared. She was beginning to tremble and before she could speak, her phone rang.

She felt relief as she grabbed her phone and noticed it was her mom calling. She stood up and then grabbed her bag, "I have to go."

"Wait!" Izuku grabbed her hand. He shakily smiled at her, "I'll see you later."

She returned the smile, though hers was fake, "Goodbye."

She quickly left, passing by a worried Inko. She didn't bother looking back as she walked down the stairs and exited the neighborhood. She let out a sigh of relief when she entered her home.

Is something wrong with him? Maybe he's still a little shaken up and confides in her. Yea, that must be it. Her nervousness eased as she settled in bed.

That same feeling of being watched returned.

[rhodesrider]

Victim

SFW! 18+! Minors DNI!

Judgement day x Fem Reader

Warnings: Mentions of R@/pe, Mentions of Therapy, Nightmares, panic attacks, slight regression, poly

~

You sigh sniffling as you have another bad dream. Another lonely night in a house so big yet so empty. Usually you go with them but you had school work and your family wanted to see you so you couldn’t tag along. You start to sob and cry feeling so alone feeling a panic attack creeping on you. You quickly turn on a lamp light and quickly speed dial one of them.

Dominik was enjoying company and food with the rest of the group, he glanced with his peripheral view seeing his phone light up. “Hm?” He was confused, you should have been sleep by now knowing you have classes early in the morning. “Mama, Y/N is calling me.” He gave the phone to Rhea, and like that her face turned to worry. Something wasn’t right. She answered it, her ears filling with your sobbing and crying. “Baby? Sweetie you ok?” Rhea got up getting from the music and turning on FaceTime. Dominik, Finn and Damien turned the music down worried about their girl.

“I keep having these fucking nightmares and I miss you guys mama…” You cried and sobbed more shaking some, your phone camera up at the wall. You didn’t wanna be seen like this, you were their happy girl, never a tear on your face. “Princess, it’s gonna be ok. Can you do daddy a favor and breathe?” You hear Damien with his calm sweet voice, looking at the camera. “Come on like we practiced.” You rub your eyes some and try your best to focus on your breathing. Some of your sobbing stopped indicating to the group that it’s working. “When you can baby just prop the phone up and talk to us.” You sniffled again and nodded continuing your breathing exercise. Finn and Rhea were upset that they weren’t there comforting you, they are always there and this one time made them heated. Dominik was sad too, you guys shared a lot in common, played video games together, and yet he couldn’t be there to make sure you were ok. Damien sighed waiting and soon the phone was up, facing you, your eyes puffy and bloodshot red from the constant tears. “Babydoll…” Finn sighed and you hid your face in blankets embarrassed. “Princess what’s wrong…you gotta tell us…” Rhea asked in her sweet voice, you peek out the blanket and just look at her trying to speak.

You go non verbal, and you start to cry again, you know you can tell them anything but your body felt frozen and you head started to hurt. “No no no babydoll, please no more tears. It’s ok, hey where’s Mario?” Finn asked as Mario was your squishmello, you quickly looked getting him hugging him close. “There he is. Where’s mamas blanket she got you?” Rhea asked. You look at the end of the bed and get the weighted blanket Rhea ordered for you, tossing it around your body you go back to your breathing exercises and start to finally feel a bit better to talk. “Now baby, you feel a bit better?” Damien asked smiling and you nodded giving a soft yes. “Do you feel like talking about the dream?” Finn asked.

“It was that party one again…”

Rhea sighed knowing that constant nightmare you endure. Before you met Rhea which started the whole “You have 3 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend Poly relationship” You were in your home town in the city, your so called friends invited you. You were having a great time not a care in the world, but you weren’t watching your drink. Someone slipped something in your cup and drugged you, pulling you upstairs with his friends. And sadly they succeeded. You were able to give names and start an investigation on campus. The boys were caught and you had your justice but they took so much from you. You told Rhea this story and she had to set a lot for around you. Asking/consent, your age regression sessions, different hobbies, sleep therapy. But the nightmare still lurks.

“Baby…I know we aren’t there right now and I’m so sorry. We will be home soon after the Pay per view and we will get you a bunch of presents and love. I promise.” Rhea said and all you could do was just smile. She was always there for you, and you’re glad she’s in your life. “Baby girl you still have to rest you have morning classes soon.” Damien reminded her and you were sad you didn’t wanna hang up. “Babydoll make sure your phone is charging and put it on the stand. You can stay on FaceTime.” Finn smiled and Rhea sat it up in the tour bud smiling and you did so looking at her back. Your eyes started to get heavy and you cuddled the weighted blanket more. “Goodnight princess. We love you.” Rhea whispered muting herself so they can play music again, they casually check on you, make comments on how adorable you are as you slept and go on with thier road trip.

“We will be home soon baby, I promise.”

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (04x08)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 4 Episode 08: Unfair Practices

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of the housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: an idiot sonovabich with bad intentions for our girl and a...um...thing we’ve been waiting for?

Word Count: I had no idea that when the gases in your intestines had no way to escape they could make various parts of your body hurt where you never thought gases could reach. Yes I am feeling the acidity in my chest tonight

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"That's that for the class. You may talk to David and I'll be available on Wednesday for any queries." The camera panned out of the professor's face to take in a smug David leaning on the lectern at the end of the platform.  "Uh, professor, may I talk to you about the Oedipus complex subsection in the chapter?" The camera focused on Tamikah, the ace student in the class sitting in the front row. "I'd rather clarify my doubts from someone who can make me understand the complexity as a researcher rather than a man baby who thinks the complex is the ultimate truth of the world." The entire class chuckled. David gave a chuckle with a tik in his jaw. Javier even caught the professor suppressing a smile before indicating for Tamikah to follow him to his office. "Ugh, women," David whispered, "Everyone please submit your assignments. The grades will be up on Wednesday morning." The camera turned towards the back of the class to find your figure lost in your notebook, your face resting on your palm while the other hand doodled something on the pages as you tried to hide a smile.  "Earth to Y/N," Yusuf whispered, calling you out of whatever trance you were experiencing before pulling out your assignment from beneath your notebook and walking down the lecture hall towards David. A millisecond of fear flashed in your eyes and you looked for the camera.

You: *biting your lip* he looked at my notebook, Javi. God, he must be judging me so much right now! *you look behind the camera* oh! *Open your notebook and show him the doodles* *camera pans in to show the last page having incoherent scribbles with a couple of horns here and there along with a few flowers scattered across* *camera pans out* *silence* *you blink* *you gasp* what do you mean you don't get it. I could not have been more obvious!

You joined Yusuf near the platform, giving him a friendly slap on the back before wrapping your arm around his shoulder. "Should we grab lunch at Erma's? I'm craving their jelly doughnuts," you asked your friend as you both began to head out of the lecture hall.  The camera made it a point to show the transparency of emotions on David's face when you did that. Yusuf was more than happy to be in your company. "Please submit your assignment on your own, Miss Y/N," David calls you out in front of the class, "rather than running your errands through your classmates. It reflects how least interested you are about the work you are putting in receiving a good grade." You ignored him.  Someone in class shouted, "She's not interested in you, man. Move on." Neither you nor the camera felt the need to turn back and see what David was feeling right now.

 The Lounge The camera sat next to Wanda as she lay her head on the cold kitchenette island all the while groaning. Scott came from the elevator, drenched in sweat and glowing from the workout. "Upset stomach? I got some tablets in my room ever since Y/N introduced me to those orgasmic Korean recipes." "No," Wanda whimpered and went back to her groaning. Gulping down a bottle of cucumber water, Scott took a huge gulp of air before looking back at Wanda. "What's wrong? Magic gone bad?" The camera panned in on her face. The groaning stopped, her lips pouted the saddest pout imaginable and tears welled up in her eyes. "No," she finally sobbed. Fear seemed to cloud Scott's eyes as the bottle was carelessly dropped in the sink and Scott bent down, placing his hands gently on her hair to caress it. "Hey! Hey! What happened?" The tears didn't stop. "Nothing happened," came a small cry out of her before her voice cracked and the sobbing got worse.

Vision: *trying to adjust himself in his seat* Wanda has threatened me not to say anything but I'm worried for her. She had a nightmare yesterday and kept saying 'no!', 'No, you Glupyy bog!'  *shrugs* I don't know which bog is trying to hurt her but *camera pans in onto his serious face* that bog better be ready to...grab these hands. *looks behind the camera* Oh...catch! That bog better be ready to catch these hands! *shows his hands*

The camera swerved to watch Tony enter the Lounge, pausing his conversation on the phone and observing Wanda. "I'll call you back." He turned to Scott and pointed towards Wanda's figure with a tilt of his head. Scott shrugged. "Should I send for some Sokovian delicacies?" Tony asked her softly. "Or should I teach Vision to stop sleeping while standing in corner of your room?" "No, he doesn't do that anymore," Wanda wailed through her sobs, wiping her tears but still not getting up from the kitchen island. "Tony," she gasped a little, forcing the man to bend down and face her, "no matter what happens, all you need to do is give a hug." Tony tilted his head in confusion. Before he could ask her anything, Wanda's hand came for his collar and pushed his face closer to hers.  "Do you hear me Tony?!" she wailed, swollen eyes bearing into the man. "Just a hug." Tony gulped and nodded, bringing his arms around to hug her. "NOT ME, DAMMIT!" Wanda yelled, the lens feeling a little tremble and Tony immediately pulled back, his hands up and away.

University Library The camera sneakily walked across the library, trying to avoid the students and book racks, looking for someone. One corner of the library had a familiar figure hunched on a huge book opened upon a stack of more books. "Yeah, I think I found something," you whispered into your cellphone, "I'll text you pictures right away." Yusuf joined you with three more books. "Oh, by the way-" you thanked Yusuf through your facial expressions- "Friday could have done this faster than me." The camera came closer and was able to hear the voice at the other end. "The comms went down and the ship's system was ridden with malware because SOMEONE thought it would be a great idea to download Minecraft from an unknown pop-up in the ship's system." You furrowed your brows before the realisation hit you. "Thor." "I was bored and had no games on my phone!" Thor yelled back. "Friday's trying to fight the malware and reboot the system but we don't have enough time on our hands right now. These weirdos have started chanting some bizarre ritual and have started shooting at our ship. Text me the pictures and we'll try to figure out how to fight this cult." "Oh, okay. Is Loki there too?" It took you a second of locking eyes with the camera to realise what you had just said. "Uh-he said he was going to go to the city with Peter." All you could hear was incoherent chants in the back while Thor tried to curse the bad guys away. You facepalmed yourself hard and let out a muted curse. Gripping your lower lip in between your teeth for a stretched second, you blurted, "I needed some menstrual cups."

You: I COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING ELSE!!! *wide-eyed glaring at the camera* ANY. THING. ELSE!!!! *The camera pans in on every word* *you groan and hide in your hands* *The camera pans out to show college kids passing you by with confused looks on their faces* *one of them offers you orange soda*

"Loki's not here," Natasha finally stated. "Oh, cool." You wanted to bury yourself in your arms. "I'll keep sending you whatever I can find. 'Kay bye." "Loki as in the God?" Yusuf whispered, sitting right next to you. You nodded. It took you a good few seconds to realise your friend did not know about your family. "Cool," he exclaimed before you could add anything, "can you thank him from my side the next time you see him? He's been a lot of help in my term project." Your furrowed brows and tilted head looked at him and then at the camera. And then back at him. "Excuse me? He did what?"

 Somewhere in the University Grounds Natasha ended the call with you and switched off the device blaring the chants and Thor's voice. "Y/N is kind to a fault." She walked towards one of the apartment complexes with the camera following her.

Natasha: Loki really is out with Peter today. And Javier is out with Y/N. Today is the perfect chance for me to do some digging and find out about the missing days of their space travel. *looks at the person behind the camera* I know you want to know it as much as I do so I expect you to keep mum about what I'm about to do today. *The camera nods*

Natasha's red hair was now veiled in a golden-coloured wig. Her face was covered behind huge sunglasses and instead of her go-to jeans and shirt, she wore a flower dress.

The apartment manager gave her figure one look before stopping her from getting on the elevator. "Excuse me. Who are you and where do you think you are going?" the manager was a white lady with pixie-cut blonde hair, a wrinkled face with endless worry lines and rimmed glasses. "Oh! Hi! I am Dorothy! Javier's mother! I am letting myself in to clean up my precious baby's dorm. He's a good kid but he takes after his father and never cleans up his mess. I'm pretty sure his place is stanking right now. He didn't bring his clothes for a wash the previous weekend. Don't worry Mama's got the keys to his place and she's gonna leave it squeaky clean for her little angel." Natasha gave her biggest smile and a flawless New Jersey accent to the manager, who clearly was getting uncomfortable with every shoulder touch 'Javier's Mama' was making. "Would you like to come to help me clean the apartment? The more the better, right? Oh, that reminds me, my baby's out of clean undies." The manager was screwing her nose now. "No, thank you. Please, just go." Natasha pressed the elevator button and once against smiled at the flabbergasted manager. She waved her goodbye as the doors closed. "Nice to meet ya!" She announced as the doors clicked close, the New Jersey mom immediately reverting to her resting assassin face. "Not a word about this goes out." She glared at the camera through her sunglasses.

Walking out of the elevator on the fourth floor, she walked down the hallway and stopped in front of a door.  The camera focused on a device she pulled out of her dress pocket and stuck to the doorknob. The device clicked and whirred, blinking twice with a red light before turning green and clicking the door open for the assassin. The apartment had a modest living room cum kitchen with three rooms at the end. Setting the earlier device on the breakfast table, Natasha touched the edge of her sunglasses to switch on the reading mode on them. "Friday, scan the entire apartment for hard disks, flash drives, memory cards and any electronic equipment with a storage." "On it, Miss Romanoff," Friday chimed and began the scan right away.  Natasha grabbed two soda cans from the fridge, offering one to the person behind the camera. "And now we wait."

 Uni Library 4 PM "Huh. I had no idea Loki was a bookworm in that way!" Yusuf chuckled, offering you a sandwich before going back to clicking pictures of any relevant page that Natasha might need. You were still lost in his laptop, scrolling through the pages of research and citations, not able to believe the layers put into the paper. "He's amazing!" Yusuf almost fangirled too hard before going back to the usual whisper. "He even loaned me some limited editions and research papers that are either sitting in restricted sections of world libraries or at some rich asshole's home." The camera swerved from him to you, recording your fingers pausing the scrolling to look up from the screen. 

You: *raise a brow* Excuse me???

"Glad that instead of either of those options, it was in Mr Stark's library. How lucky am I to be able to hold the same books that Mr Stark has preserved so well!" Yusuf adds with starry eyes.

You: *wave of realisation* Oh! *smiles* okay. *walks away from the camera to throw the baseball bat in your hand into the nearest storage closet*

You nodded in approval. "Stark's going to kill him but yeah. He's golden for lending you those books." The camera did not miss the little smile growing on your lips that you tried hard to suppress. "He's a nice guy," Yusuf admitted, leaning back in his seat and smiling. "He often calls me up to ask me how I'm doing and sends me snacks during assignment hours." You let your head rest in your palm as you looked at Yusuf. "Aw! I didn't know that. That's so sweet." Yusuf was grinning now. "But I think he does this less for me and more for someone else." He twirled his finger in your direction. You smacked that twirling finger away. "Yeah, right." Yusuf licked his lips. "I mean-" he pulled his chair closer to the table, letting his arms rest on the surface and leaning his face in your direction- "he always asks about you. How you are doing? Whether you have eaten. If you are sitting alone somewhere, lost in thoughts. If you are enjoying your company. If you are enjoying your company...too much." This time you smacked him away from you, the slap on his back resonating through the silence of the library. Both of you did not move for the next ten seconds, wondering if anyone would come and chuck you out of there.  "We should go back to helping Natasha," you whispered eventually, going back to the books in front of you. "I think I should go back to helping that suppressed scream out of you." "One more word and my elbow will bring out a scream from your stomach."

 Avenger's Facility The camera focused on the duffel bag Natasha carried through the front doors of the building, heading straight for the security room. She emptied the contents of the bag on the centre table, letting the platform light up and scan all the storage drives and memory cards. "Pull up the contents on all of them, Friday." Friday put up the hologram screen to run all the devices simultaneously. Half of them had test runs of the documentary. Some had shots of the university campus and some had recordings of campus events. "Find me the one with Loki and Y/N's time in space. The missing timeline." Three seconds was all it took to filter out the rest and bring forward the footage with a blank screen. The camera stood opposite Natasha, recording a haze for where the screen was, looking right through at it at the curious assassin. The silence was deafening as both of them waited. There was static for a few seconds before the sound of heavy breathing echoed through the security room.  "Do not make me repeat myself," Loki's voice was more of a growl, followed by someone gurgling- as if fighting for their breaths. "Where. Is. She." The frame that was panned in on Natasha's face gradually noticed something. Her furrowed brows were slowly going back to their resting phase. Her usually pursed lips moved apart in a calculated surprise. But there was more. Her figure- earlier leaning on the table wanting to read every little movement on the camera footage- was standing straight and taking a step away from the table. Curdled laughter resonated through the screen, sending Natasha's eyes wide. "She's dead, your highness." The mockery in words was made worse by the maniacal laughter that followed. A boom shook the recording running on the screen, making Natasha jump where she stood. This time, there was horror in the assassin's eyes.

 University Campus: 0730 Hours "Sorry, Yusuf. Had I known everyone was out at some event now, I wouldn't have dragged you into this." You groaned and bent down with your hands folded in front of him. Yusuf cackled. "Are you kidding me? It was fun! I don't have a sister so I finally know what it's like to tease one about their crush. This is the best day on campus I've had." The boy glowed with happiness, forcing you to mirror his smile. "Thanks, bro," you chimed. "For teasing you?" "For not asking about the Avengers? For being chill about all of this." He smiled. "Aw, come on. I fangirled about them in front of Loki so I'm good now." Both of you giggled to your heart's content till it was time for you to leave. Assuring Yusuf you can go to the parking lot on your own, you bid goodbye and walked under the street lights towards the parking lot with Javi and his camera. "He's a nice guy, isn't he?" you hummed with a smile, skipping on the pavement. "Pretty nice," a familiar but unwelcoming voice came from the shrubs that decorated the pavement by the college building. The camera quickly turned in that direction, moving ahead of you. "David," your tired voice came from somewhere out of the frame. David looked at the camera and then behind it. "You should get out of here, kid. The adults are gonna have some grownup talk." The camera did not budge where it stood until your voice called for him. "It's okay, Javi. It won't take long."

Javier's camera did not miss the smug smirk David had on his face when you said it wouldn't take long. Standing in the parking lot about a few meters away from you and David, the camera was constantly focused on you while someone's phone keypad was clicking quite fast in the back as if texting someone in a hurry. "What do you want, David?" It was more of a tired plea than a question. "What do I want? What do you want, Y/N?" Your crinkled brows displayed wrinkles of befuddled emotions. "Submitting your assignments seconds before the deadline. Making the excuses of being out of town just so you can do the extra ones to submit them to me. Being overtly sassy during my lectures even when we both know you aren't. Wearing boots even though you prefer flats. Then coming into my lecture yesterday with your hair flowing in the wind and that blue sundress till your knees. I think I know where this is going, sweet cheeks." You had to take in a good gulp of breath to shake your whole body in bafflement at him. "What the f*** are you even talking about, David?" "Oh, I know a flirt wave when I see one, baby." With the amount of offence your brain had taken, you were barely able to form coherent sentences now. "I did not dress for you, you moron! I dressed for- why am I even explaining myself to you?!" "Deny it all you want, Y/N. You can't run away from the fact that you are falling for me all over again." Your offended features went back to their neutral self. Your lips shutting up and your eyes giving him an extremely offensive side, you walked away from him and towards Javi. But David was quick to grab your arm and pull you back to him. Even before you could let this sink in, his hands were already roaming on the small of your back. "It's okay, babygirl. No need to deny the inevitable," David purred. "You can have me back. You don't have to be so needy about it." "Oh, F*** OFF, DAVID!!" your patience was reaching its threshold. "Even the tick on the bug under my boot would not reconcile with a trash like you." You broke away from his hold. The camera panned in on the fallen face of David as he let your words sink in. "Not everything revolves around you. Something I should've known is not easy for you to understand," you declared while looking right into his eyes. David's eyes seemed darker than usual now. The street lamps cast an eerie shadow over his face when he stood there frozen for as long as a cricket chirp before grabbing you by the neck. You never had the time to react with the basic defence skills Natasha had taught you. Javier's camera almost made a dash for it before coming to an unexpected halt. David pushed you into the nearest side of a car in the lot, forcing a whimper out of you. "You think I'm a joke?" His grip got stronger, making you gnaw at his hands. "You f****g slut!" the camera caught David bringing your face closer to his, waiting to growl. "You whiny bi-" "The last person who tried to hurt her ended up with a broken neck." The camera zoomed in on the shadows behind David, trying to find the source of the voice when it caught a pair of glowing golden eyes with a green hue. The God stepped into the light, pausing all movement within seven feet of his radius. Loki never had to spell it out. The mercilessly brutal gaze seared a nauseating feeling into David, compelling him to push you away from him. You felt your ankle twist, not able to bring back the balance in your leg if not for Loki breaking your fall. The God placed his hand on your back and let his eyes survey your neck for any injuries.

The camera slowly closed the distance between you and Javi, focusing on Loki's eyes. The sombre concern saw something on you that brought back that nauseating rage in his eyes. "I should have been more clear for this slow excuse of a human disgrace-" Loki's whisper tried to suppress his lungs as he turned towards David- "broken neck would be too easy a death for him." The camera was a bit too focused on the colours fading from David's skin to notice why he was suddenly backing away from you and your company. Loki's back was towards the camera. No way to record what he looked like. Only that he took two steps towards the man to send the latter running for his life while you grabbed the God by the waist. "Let him be. Loki, stop," you commanded. But within seconds you were begging him when he tried to undo your hold as gently as possible. "Please, let him go." "He hurt you, Y/N," Loki was not even looking at you. "I don't care. Just please don't do anything," you kept wrapping your arms around him and blocking his way. "It's alright," he calmly responded, still trying to walk in his direction, "he won't be able to do anything by sunrise." The camera caught a wave of fear in your eyes. Without another thought, you locked your arms around him as tightly as possible and shouted, "Wanda! Take us home!" With a wave of red plasmic energy, you disappeared before the camera. So did Loki.  Another wave hit the camera and everything turned black.

 The Lounge Scott whistled the theme of La Cucaracha in the kitchenette as he fetched himself an ice cream tub. "You want one, buddy?" he asked the person behind the camera sitting at the dining table at the other end of the lounge. Fetching another bowl, he walked towards the camera when a wave of red plasmic waves filled the lounge area. Scott found himself jumping behind the sofa. So did the camera. But unlike Scott, the camera peeped from behind the sofa to see you and Loki standing in the middle of the lounge while Javi presented himself out of thin air in the kitchenette, bumping into cabinets before finding a steady ground for his shaky legs. "What? Why did you do that Y/N?" Loki was ticked. The peripheral of the camera caught Scott raising his head to look at you two with peak curiosity. "So, I'd rather let you run behind him and beat him to death?" you responded on the same wavelength as the God. "He deserves it for being such a bloody scum." Loki was on the verge of grinding his teeth now. "I don't care what he deserves, Loki. Okay? This isn't space! You cannot just go about getting your way here! People are watching you!" Your assertion came out more loudly than you expected. "People can watch me punch the Midgardian soil out of him! Why should I care who's watching me!!" Loki was enraged now. Scott scooted back into the shade of the sofa at the first emphatic syllable in Loki's voice. "BECAUSE I CARE!!" you announced at the limit of your lungs. "I care too much about you to let some awful people brand you something you are not! Okay? I care about you too f*****g much to see you get so riled up by a pathetic loser. I-" The camera zoomed in on your expression. The weight of your own words dawned upon you abruptly while Loki stood there in a confused void. The camera made sure to catch Scott's jaw hitting the floor at your confession while you tried to gather your emotions. You did not speak. It looked like you didn't want to. "What?" Loki's voice went soft. And that did it for you. "I like you, Loki," your voice confessed delicately; your fingers pressing the life out of each other, "I like like you. Too much."

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

Reasons why Loona does care about Blitz as a dad:

Season 1:

Pilot episode:

Blitz mentions that I.M.P are a family and that family doesn’t get left behind (pretty sure he stole that from Lilo and Stitch, but okay Blitz, you do you 😆)

1x03:

Loona ALMOST called Blitz “dad” (as if THIS indication wasn’t big enough! If you didn’t care or respect your guardian why would call them dad?)

1x06:

Loona, despite disobeying Blitz’s orders instantly but decided to trust him and wait, until Millie overruled her. She does have at least some respect for him.

* Not to mention that she refers to him as “Blitz” not “Blitzo” (despite announcing that the ‘o’ is silent every time he introduces himself)

1x07 - Part 1 (Blitz’s POV)

• Whilst it’s not exactly familial Loona had left a letter for Blitz — platonically calling him 'B' — saying that she’d be out late and not to wait up for her

1x08 - Part 2 (Loona’s POV):

• Loona's first instinct was to call Blitz (when she had the options of calling anyone else other than her adoptive father) 🥹

• Loona practically begged Blitz - unnaturally acting more like a daughter wanting to go to a concert, I might add, to go with the hellhound she was crushing on - to go give the party another shot

* To me Blitz’s presence gave Loona the fortification (pun intended) to give the event another shot — almost like a metaphorical hand holding thing for emotional support — either that or she changed her mind because of the hellhound, but I’d like to think it was because of the former)

• Loona encourages Blitz to a drinking game - as the supportive daughter she is - and yells out "YEAH THAT'S MY DAD!"

• Loona berates Vortex & Bee saying that they didn't know her adoptive father as she did

* I mean when you love someone in general, — especially when you live with them whether it’s family or romantically involved — it’s hard not know all the good and the bad — so to me this tells me that Loona does actually care about her dad and isn’t afraid to tell other people aggressively to butt out especially when it comes to family business

• Loona tended to Blitz and his drunkenness — as one would like an actual daughter — despite being annoyed with his impulsivity and it’s consequences behind it

• Loona directly calls Blitz “Dad” whilst he was in a blitzed — I’m sorry I just had to use this opportunity — state before telling him to go “the fuck to sleep” 😂

• Loona showed both times— one witnessed by Vortex & Bee and another directly to Blitz — that she knew her father better than anyone else

* If you honestly have no interest in being a family member to someone you wouldn’t even say something like that or even ask in for concern , knowing full well they do “do you need to puke” and then chuckle softly with a “yeah you do”

• Loona even looked after Blitz by getting him some water and even talking to him kindly rather than be aggressive which soon ended when pulled she told him “to go the fuck to sleep” (😆)

Season 2:

2x02:

Loona was actually shocked (at first at the “tough love” THEN she worried about Blitz replacing her as a daughter— you could literally see and feel the hurt on her face when he said that he actually might replace her — than a employee (because, hey, you can replace a receptionist, but ya can’t replace your daughter)

• Also, might I point out, that you can’t get upset if you don’t care about someone. (Sarcasm) How fun is miscommunication 👍🏻😃

* Something that Blitz definitely seems to have a common pattern with both Stolas and Loona — the two people he deeply cares about but won’t say it directly to them — in regards of not communicating properly. Coincidence? I think not 😏)

Loona has the “Sleep Pillz” app on her phone, theoretically, for Blitz and track (?) his sleeping schedule (if it’s out of whack or something)

* Again why would she have this app if she genuinely didn’t CARE about her adoptive father? 🥹

(Or who knows maybe it’s the other way around 😂)

When Loona told Octavia to cut her dad some slack and that “dads fuck up all the time, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care”

* Whilst, yes, she was referring to Stolas a little bit, she was also referring (discreetly because it wasn’t about her, it was about Octavia) to Blitz since she looked at the I.M.P logo on her lighter; which NOT only has his image on it. But, it also was referring to his business which is associated with him since he’s, y’know, the founder of the whole thing; talk about a double whammy!

After Blitz tried to hug Loona — after hitting him with the grimoire in the face — she gave him a slight daughterly smile (after returning to her — calling her his “sweet, baby girl” — and that he never wanted to replace her ever again)

* Then she smiled AGAIN when Blitz answered her her question whilst filming the fireworks - really this was such a wholesome “Stolitz family” episode. I LOVE it!

2x04:

• Blitz rejected to come help Stolas and had prioritised his daughter to take Loona to the hospital for her shot (which, if she wasn’t so scared at the time, would have probably secretly appreciated it)

• Loona was comfortable enough to be scared in front of Blitz — normally you would want to become vulnerable in front of someone you know you can trust and care about — when it came to getting her hellbies shot, which earned her a soft paternalistic reaction

2x05:

• NA

2x06:

• NA

2x07:

• Ironically, both Blitz and Loona as teenagers, had the same taste in spiky chokers

Although, Loona was already wearing hers by the time Blitz (as an adult) came to adopt her; so couldn’t possibly inherit the accessory from his adolescent days

* Even when reassuring Fizz of his talents, Blitz had given him a similar expression as Loona had with Octavia in 2x02 “Seeing Stars”

2x08:

• Both think the same way when someone gets “bored” of them (their worst fear— however Loona actually voiced, theorised, that maybe Stolas was getting “bored” of Blitz)

Note:

It’s confirmed by Viv — for Pride Month — that Loona is actually bisexual (which is pretty much similar to pansexuality so “like father like daughter” I guess 🤣)

2x09:

N/A

2x10:

2x11:

2x12 (Finale):

Season 3:

TBA

Season 4:

TBA

[rainedroptalks]

i would love to hear about the evil bad books

HI MURPH I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS

(Alos I deleted this on my first try by accident lmao)

So there’s two, both by the same author, and I haven’t finished either. Ones called “twisted love” if that’s any indication of the vibe

So the first one! It’s about divorce! I have fully forgotten the name, but the main characters were called Alessandra and Dominic. I’m gonna call them A and D for my own sake

So these two met in college, A’s a nepo baby and D’s in here with a scholarship, he was poor growing up (also he has a brother who I fully forgot was part of the plot the first time I wrote this). He has dyslexia, so he is having trouble passing one of his classes, so his only good professor gives him the info of another student who does tutoring. It’s A. The two of them do the tutoring thing (which is honestly kinda cute. Fig you had no context for what happens later). D passes his exams and eventually the two begin dating, and then get married. At 23. Bad idea but okay

In the story, the two have been married for 10 years. D is now this super rich capitalist guy with a big company. He’s also a terrible boss. A has been basically his trophy wife for the past decade and the relationship is deteriorating. He forgets everything, doesn’t listen to her and constantly assumes how she feels. She doesn’t ever communicate how she feels so the marriage is going bad. They tried doing marriage counseling once but he fully forgot and she had to sit in that office making excuses for him while the counselor just looked at her with pity. He came home from work and didn’t even apologize for not showing up.

The final straw for her is their 10th anniversary. The two planned a trip to where their honeymoon happened (I think) and she reminded him like 3 times before he went to work. Would you be shocked if it turned out he forgot. Would you

She waits for ages and calls him multiple times. He doesn’t answer. She gets so pissed that she gets the bag she packed for the trip, puts her wedding ring on a table and leaves. When D gets home he starts looking for her and sees the packed bags. Finally he remembers and starts being an asshole to the maid about where A went. She says that A left. He starts worrying, not cuz he realizes he was a duck but because he’s super rich and thinks someone might hurt her to hurt him or smth.

Meanwhile A’s doing fine, she’s just at a hotel. The next morning she calls him, tells him her location and then hangs up before he can say anything. He shows up and here we see he doesn’t think of anything he’s done as wrong. “I’ll just book a new trip” SHUT UP!!! Anyway at the end of this she says she wants a divorce. This is like. Chapter 4

A goes to move in with a friend. She also realizes that she gave up a lot of her life to this dude, that she only has 3 friends and no life. The friend helps her out, and also gives her an ornate knife that she can stab her (ex)husband with. It was wrapped like a present. She’s so cool. Also D’s refusing to sign the papers so she gets a divorce lawyer.

At some point, D goes out with his friends for a business thing (what’s new), 2 of which are married to two of A’s friends. So they know. They awkwardly bring it up and he says something like “oh A’s just upset, she won’t actually go through with it.” And the one of his friends calls him a piece of shit and that if he treated his own wife like that even once she’d leave him forever. A’s had to deal with his bullshit for 10 years. Finally D realizes he sucks (not when his wife tells him though. He had to have his friends tell him. He doesn’t respect his wife)

So this begins the saga of him harassing her to show that “he still loves her”. He sends flowers. He follows her to a club. He threatens to beat up some guy who was flirting with her. Also the first sex scene happens here (I was not expecting that I was trying to stop myself from laughing in the library lol). In a bathroom. In a club bathroom. That’s… unsanitary, right?

Later there’s a party or something I dunno and he sees his estranged older brother here. Someone also dies here! Some old rich guy I don’t care. A’s here with her friends and she’s in shock from seeing a dead guy so D takes her home. They do the sex thing again. In the morning, he sees her trying to leave while he was sleeping and has the AUDACITY to get mad. The two start arguing and A starts crying. D realizes he broke this completely and agrees to sign the divorce papers then and there. The two are officially divorced

So next A goes on vacation. Her brother is in um. I don’t remember but it was in South America I believe, so she joins him. She gets a one way ticket. D finds out AND HE GETS A FLIGHT THERE TOO. FUCKING WEIRDO!!! She tries to ignore him but she thinks “Wow. D never goes away from his business things… maybe he really does care about me” AND GIRL THAT IS THE DEVIL SPEAKING. THE DEVIL

Then her mother calls, telling her that she’s getting married (again) and it’s in two days. What the fuck is happening. A and her brother have no fucking clue how to get there in two days and D offers his private jet he has (have we mentioned he’s rich yet? He’s rich) to take them. So apparently A’s mom is a model/actress/I don’t remember and she’s had a ton of failed relationships so A does not think this’ll last. Anyway, at the wedding, she hears the vows and starts tearing up cuz it reminds her of her own wedding and how wrong everything went. D tries to talk to her after the wedding, but her brother stops him and essentially says “Hey man you’re a friend to me but she’s my sister. And you clearly fucked this up. Leave her alone.” Anyway he doesn’t do this and A FUCKING FORGIVES HIM IN A CONVERSATION. Well, not fully. She agrees to try starting again, but also that they’re not married anymore and that she’s allowed to date and do things like that without him bitching about it.

The friend who gave her the knife is devastated at this news when A gets back. She can see this going so so wrong. Also the whole time in the background A’s been trying to open a flower shop or something like that, and the dude who owns the property she wants to use is apparently super and super nice, so the two go on a date. This was before the mothers wedding and the whole trip, and D shows up at the restaurant. He was actually there for something else, so he wasn’t stalking her this time. Anyway the other dudes fine I don’t remember him much. He wears flannels.

So that’s where I left off. I swear I’ll finish that book someday

The other one I barely read but it was about this 22 year old girl. Her name was Ava, and her brothers going away for a school thing. He’s super worried about her cuz apparently something happened when she was younger so he’s protective of her or whatever.

Also the book opens with her being stranded in the rain. Her brothers going away party is soon and she hasn’t picked up the cake yet. So she calls him and he picks up and tells her one of his friends borrowed his car. He tells her he’ll send the friend to pick her up. I would love you to guess what he’s doing during the call. IF YOU GUESSED THAT HE WAS HAVING SEX BEFORE PICKING UP HER CALL AND HE DID NOT LEAVE THE ROOM AND SITUATION BEFORE TALKING TO HIS SISTER then you’d be right!

So the dude who picks her up is this totally cool and mysterious friend of her brothers and also he’s an asshole. They get to the party and the best character shows up, Ava’s super hot best friend. She hates Ava’s brother apparently. She’s so cool

So the brother asks his friend (whose name I don’t care to remember) to watch over Ava while hes gone. He interprets this as “be super weird and controlling despite the fact you barely know this girl”. Anyway Ava should be dating her friend she comforts her every time she wake up from a night terror, even though she’s busy with law school. Ava’s friend is the perfect woman

Anyway that’s all! Sorry for the super long and rambly post I just have a lot of opinions. If there’s spelling mistakes I’m sorry I don’t have the energy to fix them

[menalez]

i feel so bad for you with the callouts about you faking being a lesbian bc of posts you made when you were a young teen

i just found writing from when iw was 12 of me pretending to like men and it hurts so much and its so fucking stupid it was kind of like your old posts at least it was completely private

the way it was written was like me trying to force myself to feel those ways and i even remember researching like most attractive man ever to try and find a guy to act like i was attracted to all while looking at them and feeling nothing at all... and id search for like hours trying to find a boy that i felt anyting for to pretend to wajt as a boyfriend.... i never even found one! my friend told me maybe i was 'aesthetically gay'when i was like "soo im totally straight but i do not find any men attractive at all"

i just have no idea how i didnt realize earlier i wasnt attracted to men with all that bfjdmfjd

i feel u 😭 the wildest part is that post was made to paint a certain image. there’s no emphasis on the posts being primarily from 2013-2014. nothing highlighting the fact that i was literally like 14-16 in ALL of the posts (and that the person who was calling me out is calling 15 year old me a whore / slut for what r obviously jokes. if i as a 15 year old managed to have sex 500 times with 420 men while in an long distance “relationship”… wouldn’t that be indicative of something rly insidious? like they’re obviously not legitimate numbers & were me exaggerating ridiculously bc i didn’t want to answer such questions. i didn’t know if my rapist / rape counted. i was dissociated through a lot of it). the wildest part is she intentionally ignored all the posts highlighting what ive been saying: i was literally on substances a lot of the time when in that guy’s vicinity. i considered him a friend and didn’t want a relationship but then gave in after he kept insisting we were together & facing other pressure and he was giving me substances to get my guard down & be able to do things to me. i even made posts back then saying “idk if i like guys at all or if im into girls or if i like anyone” and talking about how i don’t understand attraction and don’t feel love. i talked about the guy making me cry all the time (& would then downplay it and act like i cry over everything) and there’s hints that i was attempting suicide and on sedatives the day our “relationship” started (which was the day he decided we were in a relationship. i repeatedly said i don’t want it) and drunk + had repeatedly tried to kill myself the day i lost my virginity (if that even counts. maybe the time i was raped is when i lost it? who knows.). and when asked why i won’t leave or when id defend him it’s almost always “he’s the only person who’s there for me” “im scared”… never “i love him” or “im attracted to him” or anything of the sort. i was baffled going thru the blog bc i didn’t realise there were so many hints that it was unwanted. etc etc etc. no wonder when i finally ended it and refused to back down (had to do it repeatedly for like 6 months) he immediately said “is it bc you’re a lesbian?” 😐.

also yeah sadly the only diff between me and the Real Lesbians trying to argue im lying about my sexuality is that their closeted shenanigans isnt available for everyone to look at and analyse and pick apart. their trauma isn’t there on display for people to call them liars and partake in abuse apologism with. but this whole thing has only confirmed to me that my truth remains my truth & my story. it was pretty upsetting seeing how i was somehow so aware of my lack of attraction to men but so in denial of it at the same time. and it made me realise that that whole portion of my life might’ve been even worse than i remembered. i remember the suicide attempts but i didn’t realise how often i was out of it.

ALSO anon that’s such a mood. i did a lot of the same stuff 💀

[sordofrassilon]

I'm so fucking bitter and full of anger. Depression. Just ranting.

I tried with them. I tried for so long. But they never once treated me like a human being, let alone a friend. When they were forced into situations where I happened to be there, they would talk and act like we were all close friends, but literally every other time, they completely ignored me. I would text them, no response. I would try to hang out, always busy. As far as I know, since none of them ever mentioned anything, I never did anything wrong to them. They always laughed and enjoyed their time with me when they did happen to find themselves in my company. Honestly, I loved them despite everything, because I'd never had bad friends like them before so I didn't really... like it was just natural to me. and they never gave me any direct indication that they disliked or were ever upset with me. I made the mistake in confiding in them about my past trauma and that made them leave me out even more, although they would always pretend to feel bad about it. Like gee do we want to invite Mary to this or do we want to drink heavily at this hang out session. Well the choice seems clear, too bad about her triggers I guess lol. But that was every time they hung out. They never even ended to hang out and invite me like, occasionally, even though they acted like they liked me and enjoyed my company.

Even that aside hey constantly forgot about me when going to like, places, they broke important promises to me constantly, when I would reach out for help of any kind they would always have an excuse. Yet they would always turn to me for help when they needed it. The worst part is I don't think they hated me. I just think they were and are seriously just awful people.

I will never in my life forget the moment when I wanted to kill myself and needed someone to just stay with me, so I called the person who was supposed to be my best friend, who I'd known since high school, to ask him. He starred bawling crying on the phone with me because he was that torn between coming to help me or staying to continue the fun time he was having playing games at a convention with our other "friends". Like he was sobbing because he could not make the decision. He was telling that to me straight out too, like he honestly thought there was nothing wrong with being torn over those choices. Now imagine that sort of thing but they all did shit like that to me no less than 4 times per year and you have my college experience.

Another one that springs to mind is when I confided in the one person who would occasionally text me or respo d to my texts, about how lonely and horribly depressed I was never being able to go to anything with anyone, and she said "ok don't worry. We'll leave before the thing starts and go back to your place and play games ok?" And I cried bc that was the nicest thing anyone had said they'd do for me in a long time. Well guess what. The time came and she dropped me off at my car and said bye and went back to hang out, leaving me alone. She didn't even mention what she had said before, just completely acted like it never happened.

I was constantly left by them, to cry and suffer alone, over and over and over.

I held on to hope that they would grow up and change one day, mostly because they were literally all I had for so long. Yeah, I'm an idiot. But I was so much more afraid of being alone, like really knowing no one, so that's why I never stopped being friends with them.

[azlrse]

➳ even from afar, i still loved you (mammon x GN!reader oneshot)

summary: even after years has passed since you left the devildom, the avatar of greed's feelings for you still retains

cw: major angst, smol game spoiler, verbal abuse (from the brothers), replaced!mc and student council president!mc au

a/n: the fic was almost self-indulgent so the plot kinda sucked here. also, i'm fuckin' sad so imma post sum angst to ease the pain :DD

"I would like to thank everyone for coming for this short meeting regarding to the decision making of the exchange program." You sternly spoke, taking a seat at the comfortable rotating chair that overlooks all of your student council members. "I humbly apologize if the call was too all of the sudden and I know that all of you have after school clubs to attend to."

"It's okay, pres." Your secretary smiled "We understand your call, knowing on how serious this manner was. After all, the decision of the said student rely on us if they can join that so-called exchange." Most of the student body noticed on how you gave the folder on the table a sharp glare as if they were real. Maria, your right hand man, placed a hand on your shoulder to ease you up a bit. "I know how hard it is for you to remember all those horrible things those demons did to you. We can make this decision together. I promise to you, my friend." She smiled and you couldn't get luckier to have a friend like her.

She's one of the students who welcomed you back after you just arrived back at the human world and enrolled back at St. Cecilia's Academy. Maria also listened to your rants and vents through your tear while you sobbed and cried from the events that left you traumatized and paranoid. "Thanks Maria. That's highly appreciated." She only nodded in response.

You stood up from your seat and began pacing back and forth, now continuing the meeting. "Now, has everyone here knew the school I've attended when I participated the exchange years ago?" Most of them shook their heads (except for Maria), indicating that they don't know which school you've attended from all those years ago. The school which you thought became your happy place but became a breeding ground for the bullies themselves, especially when the group was led by none other than that pesky human whom the brothers call their new friend.

You remember how many times you told the brothers about them and how the bullying got even worse and what did they do? They just shrugged it off as they listened to the other human's words through their crocodile tears. How they smirked when the brothers thought that you tried to pin point the fault towards them because they thought you are insecure about yourself but in reality, you just want someone to at least listen to your words and even taking a look at your point of view.

"It's called the Royal Academy of Diavolo, also simply known as RAD to the citizens of the Devildom. That's where our student will go if we approve this form." You said, pointing towards the folder that was sitting on the top of the table since the meeting had started. The present students nodded their heads out of curiosity to this strange school their president had attended and many questions are asked here and there; what's the curriculum look like? The uniforms? The safety measures? Do the students there tend to eat the human exchange humans?

And you answered those questions in all honesty, wether it was bad or good. You saw the expressions of the student body morphed from disturbed to being upset on how you are treated there. "So, in my personal opinion," You finally made up your mind for the decision of this exchange program. "I won't allow any of our students to be in the program. Not only I don't want them to feel what I feel, even experiencing the horrors in the Devildom but also for their own safety."

The whole room became silent after you finished talking and soon after, many of them gave out their own opinions. To your satisfaction, many of the students also declined the program. "I agree with the president, everyone. " Your business manager spoke while giving the folder back to you. "We must ensure that our students safety is our number 1 priority and we couldn't risk it, let alone on what happened to our own president."

"Then it is decided." Maria took the paper on your hands and stamped it with the "DECLINE" stamp over your signature. All of you declined the program and now, you must break the news to them, both to the brothers and to the demon prince himself.

. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It's been a few years since Mammon last saw you during your time as an exchange student in RAD. From what you thought that the House of Lamentation was your second home, it turned into a nightmare real quick. All because of that human who joined the program, a curriculum the crowned prince has established. A few months of abuse, neglect and sadness is all you felt until you felt like you didn't have place here anymore, not just in the house itself but also in the entire Devildom.

You loved Mammon since the beginning; a greedy and selfish demon whose mind was consumed with gold and trinkets of fortune. His brothers also deemed him as a scummy bastard who goes through several punishments due to his misdemeanor and financial abuse. He was your first man and thought that he could have the potential for him to be your first serious relationship. Before the ordeal happened that temporarily left you shattered, you and the prince of greed used to be the closest of friends. Him protecting you from lowly demons and buying you the things that reminds you of him. He does spoil you to bits and behind that greedy mask he always had, that particular mask always falls apart when you're with him, revealing a man whose heart was the definition of heart of gold.

The more you hang around him, the more you see yourself falling for him. How come a human like yourself fell in love for the second-born himself? You have no idea but all you felt for the demon was this warm feeling of adoration and love for him.

But it didn't last long as soon as the wretched human of a student joined the program.

And as soon as Mammon knew that this new human was rich, he didn't waste his time to hang around them and you tried your best to be around him often. You wanted to invite him to this new cafe that was recently opened? He has plans with them. Hanging around his room to talk to him? He was on his way to their room to talk about money and some other bullshit. At first, you started to give him some space. Thinking that he just needs some more time hanging out with the new student but it didn't last long as a few months passed by and his brothers followed pursuit. He didn't spoke a word towards you nor inviting you to activities he normally does with you.

And it felt like you are alone for a long time.

You tried reconnecting with him (and to his brothers) but all he always let out a small grunt of annoyance whenever you 'mess' with him, telling you to just go away and leave him alone for once. At first, you just shrug it off, thinking to yourself that your presence becomes too much for him to the point that you became an annoyance towards him but no, Mammon does think that you just became an nuisance and an annoyance, not just towards him but also to his brothers.

They favored the new student than you, a human that they once befriended and loved who fixed their family and heal their inner trauma through your words of reassurance and kindness.

The loneliness became suffocating and the weight on your shoulders felt like it's the same weight that made you fell deeper into the depths of the deep ocean full of agony and anger. If you're honest with yourself, you loved Mammon with all your heart and your once soft and warm heart shattered when he finally snapped as soon as you pester him on inviting him to join his casino shenanigans.

"I already told you, I already have plans with (s/n)! Why can't you just leave me alone and just mind your own damn business!? Sheesh your such an annoyance.."

"But Mammoney, it's been 4 months since we've last hang out... All I ask of you is a bit of your time and–"

"And then what?! Pester me with your lil' talk and then scold me whenever I did something that could annoy you? And, can you please stop calling me by that name? It's REALLY annoying to call me by that stupid name..."

"Mammon-"

"JUST SHUT UP, WILL YA?!!"

And those 5 words made you quickly shut your mouth. You stopped yourself from crying on the spot as you stare the demon stomping his way to (s/n)'s room to vent (again) about you. Those words cut through you like knives. You couldn't believe it. The demon whom you loved so much, the one who protected you since the start of your life as an exchange student and the first demon whom you lend a hand, just told you to shut your mouth and to leave him alone.

As soon as his figure leaves the hallway, you quickly ran towards your room, locked the door and muffled your cries and sobs by your pillow. The once soft and comfortable pillow was now covered with snot, saliva and tears as you continuously cried and cried from the pain and anguish you felt for months. You felt lonely, and there's no one in the HoL would even check on your well-being, to see if you're okay and to have a shoulder to lean on whenever you're down and sad.

Without hesitation, you quickly formulated a plan for you to go home to the human world. The Devildom nor the House of Lamentation isn't your home anymore, it's now the place that haunted and accumulated your inner trauma of abandonment and loneliness. It also breaks your heart that HE didn't even bothered to say good bye to you as the new exchange student smirked in victory.

Mammon on the other hand, stared back at you with an emotionless expression as you make your way to the entrance hall. His lack of words and his expression formulated a new kind of anger that was kept within your head; anger and wrath. Your once pathetic expression turned hard and ominous, staring back towards the demon, which in fact, sends shivers down his spine.

Now, years after you're elected as the new head of the student council, you felt nothing but power and ambition in your current position. After years of pain and anguish towards that horrible place, those feelings (especially your anger towards Mammon) has transformed into the emotions that brought you into power. As the current student council president of St. Cecilia's Academy, you are presented with the power wether you allow 2 of your students to partake the program or not.

For the first time, the brothers saw you in a really unique uniform that speaks out your current position and to top it all off, you sent a glare towards the 7 brothers, remembering all the pain and trauma they gave you since the last 5 years. The memories that haunted you as an exchange student came back like a video tape was playing on your head. You feared that if you sent 2 of your students to the Devildom, they would go the same fate as you or worse, being killed by the 7th born demon.

You declined their proposal, causing an uproar but quickly transitioned into pleas for forgiveness for what they've done.

"If it's because of me, I'm sorry! I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you! Don't place the blame on my brothers, you can take it all towards me! Hit me, slap me, hurt me! Do whatever it takes for me to feel the same pain we gave to you." Mammon said, his hands making its way to your waist. You turn to your side and quickly wiped off the test that was threatening to come out from your eye. Your hand quickly released his gripped but he didn't budge, not even one bit.

"A person can forgive someone but they couldn't forget the things that they went through in order to survive." You turn to face the 7 brothers who were once your family, but your ties towards them was cut off as soon as you left the devildom. "I'm sorry, I don't want my students to go through the same path I experienced 5 years ago. And with that, I don't think there's a chance for me to forgive all of you, especially you Mammon." He only stared at you in disbelief, tears beginning to appear on his face. You pushed his arms away from you, causing him to tumble down as Levi and Satan helped him to get back on his feet.

You dusted off the wrinkled parts of your uniform, standing up proudly and internally smirking as the faces of these powerless demons became a new core memory for you. "Now will you excuse me, I still have some important matters to attend to. You may leave my office if you don't have any clarifications."

One by one, the brothers apologized as they make their way out. You can see their tear streaking face as they muttered apologies under their breathe. All six of the brothers are outside except for one; the avatar of greed himself. He stopped dead on his tracks and his hands are holding your cold dead hands. You can see on how upset and guilty he was from his expression alone. "Can't you reconsider? You don't have to accept my apology, sweetheart. I promise you I'll treat you even better when I-"

You raised a hand in front of his face, causing him to shut up. "I can't and I won't change my mind, avatar of greed. And It's president (m/c) for you, not by that stupid nickname." He winced from your words, the same words that he's spoken to you. He didn't mean it! He was just angry and was just in a bad mood due to the unfortunate events happened to him. He didn't mean to speak those words towards you. If he has the ability to turn back time, he could have accepted your invitations instead of ignoring you.

He walked away in defeat, his head laying low as he continuously stare into the cold tile of your office.

Many months passed by and he still didn't forget about you. Everyday, he would pester his older brother or the Devildom prince for him to visit you in the human world. He just wants to see you if you're doing okay and doesn't miss a day as small gifts and flowers are slowly piling up by your office. From what you've heard from your student body, some of those gifts came from your admire while the others are from the children that attended the school. 'That's really sweet' you thought, recieving another box of chocolates for the day and unbeknownst to you, the avatar of greed is watching you as a sad smile was plastered on his face.

How he wished that smile was given to him and not towards that kid who admired you (platonically). You didn't know that the box of chocolates didn't actually came from the young student but from him. He's glad that you didn't reject the gifts you recieved but was very upset when you threw away the bouquet of flowers that has his name on it.

Mammon has his little ways when it comes to protecting you. It's either him or his crow familiars watching over you and celebrating every achievements you recieved from both your academics and in your extracurricular activities, no matter how big or small it was.

You may hated him with all your heart but the love and guilt the prince of greed says other wise. Yes, he feels very guilty and was angry to himself and to his brothers that they're the cause of your downfall, only for you to get back by your feet. He wants the old you back; the once kind, gentle, goofy and forever loving (m/c) who filled in the missing gap of his heart, only for the hole to grew even wider the more he thinks about you.

He will wait for the day that you'll return to his arms.

He will wait patiently for you and learns how to save his grim instead of spending it.

He will wait, even if it takes an eternity for you to forgive him and his brothers.

Even if you forget about him, his brothers and the entire Devildom, the prince of greed will always have you within his heart, now awaits for your safe return in his arms.

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

[lord-of-the-ducks]

I wanna make a post talking about Jim because oh my fucking god I would actually die for them.

I’m gonna be honest, I was actually skeptical about OFMD at first because I assumed that Jim was just the stereotypical “woman crossdressing as a man” stereotype that seems to appear in every piece of pirate-related media I watch. Like “ah yes, this is a 100% cis woman disguised as a man purely for practical purposes, this says absolutely nothing about her gender identity” and that isn’t bad or anything, I’m not saying that anyone who cross dresses is automatically trans, just that I’ve seen this trope only through the most cis/heteronormative lens possible and it’s really exhausting after the hundredth time you’ve seen it, especially when there’s the weird “I’m a girlboss who’s just as good as the men” kind of messaging.

Seriously, I was so put off by the idea that I actually had to turn off my television when I saw Lucius see Jim swimming because I was ready for him to say things that were just going to upset me. I eventually did continue watching, but I really had to convince myself to give the show a chance. Lucius immediately being on board with keeping their secret and making the “not all beards are actual beards” comment gave me a bit of hope that I was going to be watching a show that had at least SOME canonically queer characters, but then the show implied that Oluwande was attracted to Jim and my immediate assumption was that once again, I was going to be dealing with some sort of weird Shakespearean “she’s disguised as a man but he’s attracted to her because she’s still female” thing. But thank fuck I kept watching.

The first indication that maybe I was watching a show that was going to actually address how this is an inherently queer trope was after Jim kissed Lucius and Lucius expressed attraction towards them. Because it’s already been established that Lucius doesn’t like women, since he said something about his mom thinking that he likes girls in episode 2, but he’s attracted to Jim, meaning that Jim isn’t necessarily a girl, or at least that Lucius doesn’t see them as one. And then I got to episode 4 and OH MY GOD THEY WENT ALL IN.

It’s a shame that Jim had to be outed, but I’m so happy with how the crew’s questions were written because it truly embodied the classic things that cis people ask any person they find out is trans. They aren’t word for word, but it’s the general attitude of “well meaning but incredibly strange/invasive/outright wrong” questions and comments that made me laugh so hard I had to gasp for air. They even had the “well, it’s basic science/biology that women have crystals in their bodies that attract demons”. Then Jim finally gets fed up and just tells them to continue calling them Jim and that they’re still the same person. Definitely not written with the trans experience in mind, nope.

Anyway, this is just so refreshing to me because not only is Jim actually played by a nonbinary actor (which I immediately looked up after episode 4) but they also aren’t exclusively defined by their gender identity or the suffering it’s caused. Like, they have a whole arc about killing one of Jackie’s husbands who killed their family and being wanted for that murder. They also might have a romantic plot with Oluwande, and both Jackie and Lucius expressed attraction towards them, showing that they can be someone desirable (granted, Jackie was probably just doing it to mess with them, but still). And when they do address the ramifications of being nonbinary in a time period where that isn’t understood, it isn’t in a way that makes me, a nonbinary person living in an unsafe situation, feel miserable and upset about how people like me are treated, I just get a chance to laugh at it. I’ll probably never have people asking if I’m a mermaid, but I do recognize the ignorance that those sort of questions come from, and the show makes fun of that ignorance, not Jim (Edit: I forgot to mention that Jim is actually allowed to get angry about the repetitive, ridiculous questions instead of just grinning and bearing it, and they aren’t framed as in the wrong for doing so) And then once all of that is out of the way, Jim just gets to… exist. As their authentic self. Talking about cutting people up for their fuckery. It’s lovely, I love them.

Anyway, sorry about the long post, I’m just so glad that a character that I previously assumed was going to be a looming reminder of how trans people are erased from a lot of narratives, including ones that can show a lot of diversity, ended up being some of the best representation I’ve ever seen. I pretty much immediately started following Vico Ortiz on social media and they’re also a delight, so check them out if you have the chance.

[indouloureux]

bruised lover

peter parker x reader

summary: in which peter parker comes to your solace and aid after a long night, and he tells you what he truly feels

word count: 1,337

warnings: fluff because i love fluff! slight angst maybe, mentions of blood and wounds (reader uses she/her pronouns bc i had no idea how to use the second pov yet so i apologize)

a/n: if this is your gif please let me know! this is like the first peter parker fic i wrote and published on ao3 :) hope you all enjoy.

MASTERLIST

༻✦༺ . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .  ༻✧༺

Young love—it’s foolish, sentimental, florid, hellacious, stupid, fun, painful.

Neither of them knew what love was.

When Peter met her, he was astonished, to say the least. In all his life, he had never witnessed such beauty; he’d seen numerous things as Spider-Man—some perilously terrifying and some rather appealing. But when his eyes laid upon her, she was a medley of both insidious and captivating.

No, he wouldn’t call it ‘love at first sight.' Peter never truly knew who the girl was. He was the sort of guy to fall in love after getting to know someone. He simply found her unbelievably gorgeous that it made him halt in his paths, alter his cadence and preclude his breath.

They became friends almost instantly. And as much as Peter didn’t desire to fall for her, Ned would annoyingly reiterate and indicate that Peter always would subconsciously stare at her with an almost slacked jaw and star-filled eyes. He disavowed it- staring didn’t mean he was in love. It could represent admiration, or he was just adhered in his head thinking about her in outlandish imaginative panoramas where each of them included Peter and her as a couple.

Besides, he felt as if though the feelings were unrequited and he compelled himself to desolate his emotions aside and concentrate on the duties and commitments he resumed to harbor as Spider-Man lived.

She discovered that Peter Parker was the masked vigilante not even a year into their friendship. She had been in his room, dropping off his omitted homework after skipping the last three classes due to disputes. She had latched the window Peter left open on purpose so he could effortlessly slip inside.

It took him five seconds to realize the window was sealed, and because of his immediate reflexes, he unexpectedly disembarked on the wall above his window and ricocheted to the ground, spraining his ankle.

At that moment she had no hint on who he was, but after peeking out the window and witnessing that he had yanked his mask off, her eyes enlarged and got her mouth sheathed in webs a second later.

It was similar to when Ned found out, except this time he had to web her mouth shut for a solid two hours.

And she didn’t talk to him for two days because of that.

She didn’t get mad that he lied to her. Surprisingly, she was calm the entire time he had to explain how he was Spider-Man (because her mouth was webbed shut, she couldn’t exactly complain, couldn’t she?), but that didn’t mean she didn’t become upset right after.

Peter understood- he lied to the girl he liked in a repudiating manner.

Now here he is, outside the emergency exit of her apartment. She was home alone, in her bedroom, listening to music as she switched from the other side of the room and back to her desk, a textbook in hand and notes strewed all around. It was finals- Peter studied during patrols with the little flash cards she gave him that he kept in his pocket.

He felt bad having to disturb her from studying, but he’ll feel even worse when he dies right outside her window from bleeding profusely.

Peter knocked on her window. She looked up, glasses slipping on the bridge of her nose and strands of hair falling from her loose ponytail. Even if she looked tired, with dark bags underneath her enthralling eyes and a pen stuck between her fetching lips, she still resembled the quintessence of beauty as the day he met her.

He smiled sheepishly while the pen in her mouth dropped from her abrupt stand. Clumsily, she pries her window open with flail fingers. Peter almost fell in if it wasn’t for her hands that went to his shoulders.

“Hi,” he whispered softly. “Listen, so I was dragged by a car from the 19th Avenue. I think- I think the road and I, we just developed into something more. We got great chemistry.”

“Oh, Jesus,” she didn’t laugh. Of course she wouldn’t- her look resembled tumultuous disdain, worried by the blood around his tattered suit, en masse. “What happened? Why’d you get dragged by a car?”

Peter coughed as she brought him to her bed, watching as she pulled the first-aid kit from underneath. She had it ready in preparation for moments like these, and he blushed when he remembered how he caught her watching videos at YouTube on how to clean and treat certain bruises.

“I was chasing this man. He had some weird tech in his van.” He explained. “I almost got hit by one of those weapon of theirs. Knocked me off.”

She remained quiet, only letting out a hum of understatement. Peter fell silent too, distracted himself by looking at her to numb out the pain he faintly felt when she rubbed alcohol over his gashes.

He wanted to tell her how he felt- how he loved her. He had the confidence underneath the mask, but without it, he felt as if he were merely a young boy filled with spasmodic nervousness and futile cowardice. But around her, regardless of the mask, he was a stuttering mess.

Love is veraciously malignant when fooled with dishonesty. Despite the cruel apathy it brought upon those who are under in it, sometimes love can be iridescently sentimental; love is etymologically pleasing yet disdainful to the fools and the lonely.

Peter loved her truly, madly, deeply. He was a fool in love with a sophisticated scrupulous woman. The saddest fear of his crept in, how she didn’t love him back- how she would never love him back because he lived two lives, and she wanted the other life with the sanguine, impregnably strong one.

Too lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t realize that she’d been calling his name softly, her hand on top of his. Now he had the chance, even if he was half naked in front of her, covered in horrifying cuts and purple hues.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “I almost thought you died there with your eyes open…”

“Uh, yeah,” he stammered, swallowing thickly. “Listen, I’m in love with you.”

If Peter said that he hadn’t envisioned the surprised, wordless, appalled countenance on your face, it would be a lie. He’d been with her through every story she told Peter regarding the boys who claimed that they loved her only to conclude with her weeping by the end of the month beneath the rain with a pint of ice cream in her hand and inside Peter’s arms.

She had the same expression on her face when he witnessed her second boyfriend confess his love for her, yet at those times, she wasn’t silent for a solid minute unlike now.

Bur what happened next was nothing he’s ever seen nor experienced before.

“Why now?” she’s skeptical, yet a small smile was etched on her face.

“What?”

“I mean, why now? When I’m fixing you up. Oh my God, are you dying? Is that why?”

Peter laughed at the sudden panic on her face. Gently, he placed his hand over hers, stopping her from continuing to place the alcohol over his already clean cuts. “I said it now because, well, why not? I mean, I could say it any time I want. I’m just…too afraid to do so.”

When her hand laid gently on the center of his bare chest and crashed her lips on his, all he felt was the adamant devotion he felt for her since the beginning that regurgitated around his head. Peter gently kissed her back, hand on her cheek and the base of her back.

He had only imagined her reaction to either be somewhat mad that they had ruined their perfect friendship or endearingly accept his love. But never in a way where they would be kissing with him looking like a bruised lover on top of her bed.

But he chose to accept this way. Frankly, it seemed better.

༻✦༺ . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .  ༻✧༺

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[hongjoongscafe]

Heal Our Love

Day 2 of the blogversary drabble week.

Pairing: ceo!husband!seonghwa×wife!oc (A-Yeong)

Genre: angst, fluff, smut.

Summary: he wanted a wife.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol addiction, unprotected sex (you do that and I will hit you unpleasantly), creampie, dirty talk, oral fem., Oppa kink(for @cheline 💓😆)(Lemme know if there is anything else.)

Word count: 5.8k

Note: AU idea and the beautiful fiction picture by our lovely @nanibecute. Thank you so much😘💓

Drabble week masterlist

Masterpost

*DO NOT REPOST, PLZ*

The loud roar of a sports car echoed in the stillness of the night, indicating his arrival. A-Yeong got up from the couch and stood in front of the main door. Knew very well that her husband would get angry if she wasn't there to greet him and take his briefcase from him and offer him water or whatever he asks for. 

A-Yeong, a young twenty-two years old girl who got herself wrapped with twenty-five years old Seonghwa, the CEO of Park Enterprises. The most famous and rich business is very much popular in South Korea, Dubai, and America. They have many high-end hotels and other businesses around the world, mainly in the aforementioned places but working on other projects in various other countries. 

It keeps Seonghwa fairly busy that he sometimes forgets that he has someone waiting for him back home. But it doesn't make him feel bad, he doesn't care. He is also known as the coldest of the CEOs. He loathes if someone makes a mistake in any way. Even if it is his wife, managers, employees, or even his friends and parents, he will make them realize the worst way possible. 

A-Yeong wasn't rich but she got a scholarship and was able to study in the best business school in London, England. That's where she met with Seonghwa. 

It didn't take time for her to fall in love with Seonghwa. Unable to resist, she let her feelings be wild in front of him. As she expected, he was cold as ice. He didn't insult her specifically but did call her an idiot for feeling such things for him. 

But a few months later he contacted her. By now, she was studying and he was already back in Korea and was handling his CEO position. Seonghwa was smart, he knew well about A-Yeong. She was a kind, smart, and intelligent girl. She carried softness around her and welcomed everyone. But this was something he thought was stupid. No one should be this open and welcoming in his perspective. It will only ruin them internally. 

Seonghwa needed a wife. And A-Yeong needed him. Even after he moved away after unintentionally breaking her heart, he knew she still loved him. So he used this to his benefit. 

He asked her to marry him. That way, he could get what he wanted and she would get what she wanted. As he thought, she agreed in a breath and moved to Korea to marry him. She didn't drop out but shifted to online classes that Seonghwa was more than responsible for paying for. 

So, here she was, waiting for her oh-so-lovely husband to come inside and order her like she is a maid. 

The door opened and Seonghwa sighed. He loosened his tie and looked at A-Yeong with one eyebrow raised. "Welcome back home, Oppa," she bowed and took the briefcase from his hand, and gave him space to move inside. One rule he had was for her to always call him Oppa, it kinda took her by surprise but didn't say anything. 

"Dinner?" He asked as he made his way towards his bedroom on the second floor. 

"I'll reheat it by the time you are done," she mumbled. 

A-Yeong left his briefcase in his home office and went into the kitchen to reheat the food. Seonghwa always left a slip every morning on which he left his demand for dinner or whichever meal he would be back for. 

He never showed her emotions. She only wanted him to realize that her love was not a joke. The first thing she was upset about was the fact that he didn't tell her that he asked her to marry him for business purposes. If only she knew. 

"A-Yeong?" Her eyes widened after hearing his voice after nine months. She didn't know if she should be happy or not. 

"S-Seonghwa?" She stuttered. 

"Do you still love me?" He simultaneously asked.

"I—"

"Marry me. Come to Korea. I want you."

"Bu—"

"I'll book your flight and pay for your online classes. Don't worry about anything," with that he hung up, leaving A-Yeong shocked. 

The table was set up with the food. Seonghwa had to admit that she made delicious food. He sat there with A-Yeong on the other side. The only thing going inside his head was his work. He never asked her about how she was or how her studies were going. 

On the other end, she always thought about him. Her mind wouldn't be at peace until he was back at home. He was careless when it came to his own health and it bothered her. 

A-Yeong's thoughts got corrupted by the day they both fought—

"Oppa, I only asked for love! Can't you give that!?" She screamed at him. 

"I don't love you! Who told you that!?" He screamed back after aggressively shutting his laptop. 

"You asked me to marry you!" Her face was red, tears running down her soft cheeks. 

"It doesn't mean that I love you or anything." 

A-Yeong stiffened. She could hear her broken heart crumble. "Then why would you… marry me? I-I'm not even rich," she whispered. 

"It's not always about money. Sometimes it's about reputation and respect," he harshly replied. 

"There is no respect for me…" she sobbed. 

"...my respect in the business world," he said and went outside of his home office, slamming shut the door behind him. 

"At least recognize me," she whispered to no one and sat there, crying the whole night. 

A-Yeong held her tears back. Wanting to get over this awkward dinner, she quickly finished her meal and went into her room… separate room. 

She has always dreamed of a perfect romantic novel-type life, with a loving husband and possibly two children but that was the farthermost thing for now. Her husband doesn't even look at her let alone love her– both mentally and physically. 

His sick games were too much for her fragile heart. There was nothing much she want, just love. Like any other person with feelings, she wanted to feel like she was needed and wanted for real and not for someone's reputation or respect– something she wasn't getting. 

"Mom?" She spoke when her mother picked up the call. 

"Yes, sweetheart?" Her mother's soft voice spoke. 

"I'm gonna catch a flight tomorrow and I'll be coming back to London," A-Yeong informed, trying not to burst into tears. 

"Oh, honey! It's been so long. Is everything oky? Why so suddenly?" Her voice came out worried. 

A-Yeong's eyes shed some silent tears, "everything is great. I just wanna go back home…" I wanna feel loved, was what she wanted to say. 

"Oky, honey. I'll be waiting for you. It's been more than two years. Ah! I'm excited! Is Seonghwa coming?" Her mother asked. 

"Ah, Oppa is busy with his work. You know they are working on many projects so he won't," she felt bitter not telling her mother the whole truth.

"Really? He works so much. Tell him to rest from me, will you?"

"Sure!" She wiped her tears with the back of her hands. "I should go now. I'll text you before catching the flight."

…

It was nine in the morning, and Seonghwa finally came down. Dressed in his expensive Louis Vuitton suit, he was ready to leave after his breakfast. The house looked far too empty and quiet compared to other days. A-Yeong wasn't in the kitchen as she usually would. 

'She must have gone to the farmers market,' he thought to himself and opened the microwave where his breakfast was. Just a typical A-Yeong, still worrying for Seonghwa's health. 

Seonghwa felt disappointed, just a little. He was used to seeing her every morning in her apron, serving him breakfast with a huge smile. He had to say though, that her smile was getting smaller and smaller every day. 

He shook his head and ate his breakfast. He had other important things to deal with. It's not like she left forever. He would see her for dinner. 

...Well, he was wrong. There was still no A-Yeong in the house when he returned. He was so ready to give an earful to her for not greeting him at the door. But didn't hear any rushed footsteps or any noise at all. He went to her room, only to find it empty. He noticed that the room was exceptionally empty. 

Seonghwa never came inside her room when she was awake. He only stepped inside a few times, late at night when she was sleeping. He doesn't know why but whenever he had a particularly bad day, he would come into her room and look at her sleeping form. This never failed to make him feel better and ready for more. 

This was all done without him knowing that he did this. 

The panic rushed into his veins. He ran from room to room like a crazy person trying to find his wife. But no luck. The anger seeped into him as time passed. 

"So fucking careless! Doesn't she know that she has to be here when I come back?" He muttered to himself. 

Tired, he finally slumped on his couch. He sat there, waiting for his wife to come back. He was sure he would be way harsher than at any other time. She couldn't even follow simple rules! 

Looking around, his eyes fell on the folded paper on the coffee table. He sighed and picked it up. Unfolding it, he saw what she wrote —

Oppa… A-Yeong here. I can't take this anymore. I wanna feel loved. I don't want your money or you to pay my expenses. I don't even care if you keep me in a dungeon. All I wanted was your love. I'm a simple woman with simple needs… I don't know why it is so hard for you to love me back… anyway, I'm taking the first flight to London this morning. I have kept the breakfast in the microwave. Take care, please.

I'll file for divorce as soon as I can…

A-Yeong. 

A tear slipped out of Seonghwa's eyes, followed by more. He wasn't expecting her to leave like this. He never felt what love was. But right now, his heart was clenching. 

"What have I done? Why am I so sad!?" He couldn't decipher the hurt in his heart. They have been like this, cold, forever. He didn't care for her but why was he feeling so hurt? Why was his heart cracking? 

…

"A-Yeong! Mr. Kim! Breakfast is ready!" Nari, A-Yeong's best friend from the University, called for her from the kitchen window. 

"Hold on a second… I am almost done!" She and her father were pulling the weed in the tiny backyard. 

"I'm gonna take a really quick shower… it's kinda hot today," her father wiped his forehead with the hand towel hanging from his neck. 

It's been a month since A-Yeong left Seonghwa's house. It has been tough to not think about him. She was worried about his meals and health. She wished he was taking care of his health. It was nerve-wracking. 

As much as she was trying to be chill and normal in front of her parents, she was feeling empty inside. She wanted to feel loved but was not feeling it. It was an empty void in her heart that was taking up more and more. 

A-Yeong's fingers itched to pick up her phone and call Seonghwa every single minute. But she felt dejected when he didn't call her to ask if she was pulling his leg or just straight up getting angry with her. "He probably doesn't even care," she scoffed and piled the weeds in the corner. 

After washing up, she joined her family and her friend at the table. The delicious chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate syrup were already served on her plate.

"So, A-Yeong, when are you returning?" Her father asked. 

"Why? Don't you want me here?" She asked with a pout. 

"No, no. You are my only child. I would love to keep you here forever, under our wings. But now you are married. You have another family to deal with. I just think that you should think about that too," he gently explained his concern. 

"Mhm, your father is right, Yeong-ie. And not to forget Seonghwa's needs," her mother wiggled her eyebrows. 

A-Yeong internally scoffed. He never even touched her somewhere other than the little peck on the cheek at their wedding. 

"Oh, that brings another question…" Nari began, "when are we having Seonghwa junior or A-Yeong junior?" 

A-Yeong choked on her food. Now she regrets not telling them why she came here in the first place. They were far from having children. Hell, she was planning a divorce. 

Divorce. She still didn't do anything about it. As much as she wanted, she couldn't bring herself to file one. Maybe it was fear that Seonghwa would sign the papers and attend court dates without hesitation. In the end, he didn't care for her. So divorcing won't be a huge deal for him anyway. 

"Ah, I understand your concerns. But it's been two years and we only spent time before the wedding. I just wanted to be here… with you all," A-Yeong said. "And for the juniors… Oppa is busy. Bigger projects are standing on his head. We will think about it later on," she swallowed the lump forming in her throat. 

"Sweety, I understand. You can live here for as long as you want. Oky? And about the babies, I'm happy that you both are not rushing into it, or else the child would be neglected," Mr. Kim patted her back. 

"Ah! You kids grow so fast!" Mrs. Kim wiped her happy tears. She was always too emotional.

"I should take these tips from you, Yeong-ah," Nari teased. 

…

Seonghwa hasn't eaten anything in two days, only expensive whiskey was running in his system. His house stunk of alcohol. A-Yeong's absence left him broken. He formed the best friendship with his alcohol. 

He was barely able to handle his business. Thanks to his other officers and managers who were filling up his absence from work. He barely did anything in this past month. He was drowning in his misery. 

At that point, all he wanted was A-Yeong back. He didn't like food that wasn't made by her. He didn't like the fact that there was no one waiting for him at home, so he stopped going out to feel like that. Seonghwa never knew that he cared about his wife this much. All he thought was that this was a business deal. But oh he was so wrong. He now realized that he noticed her every day when they were under the same roof. 

At first, he was angry at her for leaving him without telling him in the face. But then he was angry at himself for letting this happen. He could have prevented this by simply reciprocating her feelings. But no, he was too arrogant to even feel his own feelings. He has been cold forever and didn't know that he was damaging her this much. 

Seonghwa grew up in an environment where everyone was a workaholic. Nobody cared for anyone. They were all about business. His parents never expressed their love for him. He was handed from one babysitter to another like a ball. Everyone was cold and tough. They only smiled for public cameras and never from the heart. 

Now he understands what being loved is like. He realized that he loved the attention A-Yeong gave him. He loved the fact that they were living in the same house. He now realized that after his marriage, he started coming home every day and eating homemade food. 

But it was too late… 

But it's never too late to correct mistakes, his rational side screamed. 

He needed to do something. He couldn't lose his wife. He was thankful that he didn't receive any divorce notice yet. However, now is the time he could make a difference. He needed to act sooner. But he didn't know where she went. 

Seonghwa went into his room to get his phone. He picked it up and called his assistant who picked up his call on the second ring, "Hongjoong? I have an important job for you to do."

…

A-Yeong moved into a small apartment about thirty minutes away from her parents. She built up another lie and told them that she got some work here and will be moving into a separate place for convenience. That didn't stop her from visiting her parents every day. She usually had dinner at their place. This has been going on for a week and a half. 

She had finally started to search for divorce lawyers. One thing was for sure this was going to be expensive. Sooner or later, she needed to ask for help from her parents. This also meant that it was time to disclose the real reason to come back to London to her parents. It scared her. All the couples in her family were happily married. The fact that she was gonna have a failed marriage was like a nightmare. 

A-Yeong took a deep breath and turned off her phone and looked at the clock. It was already ten in the morning. She got up and went for a shower. 

She wore a simple black spaghetti top with some supporting shorts. Grabbing her breakfast which consisted of cereals and a chocolate protein bar, she sat on the floor, in between the couch and the coffee table. She turned on the TV. Changing through the different channels, she stuck to Spongebob. 

After that, she had nothing to do. The laziness took over her eyes and fell asleep on the couch. 

Mr & Mrs. Kim was sitting in the backyard, enjoying their morning. It was a pretty day. The sky was clear, unlike other shady days.

"What do you think about visiting Korea?" Mr. Kim asked his wife. 

"Hm, it sounds good. Why?" She sipped on her late morning tea. 

"Well, I thought we might pay a visit there. Seonghwa has been so busy. I just wanted to go see him," he pouted. He genuinely loved the guy. 

"Don't you think we would be a burden on him? He is busy and if we go, he then has to pay attention to the formalities for us… we should wait for now," she gently responded. 

As Mrs. Kim finished her sentence, their doorbell rang. "Oh, did A-Yeong come this early?" 

"I don't know," Mr. Kim followed as Mrs. Kim stepped inside to open the door. 

As she opened the door, she gasped. "Seonghwa! It's so good to see you again! Oh my goodness. Come on in!" Mrs. Kim giggled excitedly and stepped aside. 

Seonghwa wasn't expecting such treatment. He thought he might get punched in the face for treating their daughter so badly. He was, for the first time, scared. 

'They seem to be oblivious to the divorce fact,' he thought to himself. 

Seonghwa bowed to them and acted as if everything was okay. "It's nice to see you again as well. I hope you both are fine," he shook hands with Mr. Kim.

"Fine as always son!" Mr. Kim began, "but you look weak. Is everything alright?"

"Ahh, right? You look like you haven't been eating properly," Mrs. Kim spoke. "Sit down, I'll make you breakfast. It won't take much time." 

Before Seonghwa could protest, she scurried into her kitchen. Seonghwa felt a lump forming in his throat. He never felt this welcomed in a family before. A-Yeong's family was so genuine and kind. So filled with love. 

'A-Yeong gets her caring side from her parents,' he observed. 

"Work has been taking my time… it still does but I was missing A-Yeong," he wasn't lying so far. "So I thought I should come here and meet her in person."

"Oh, I think she is not the only one missing, huh. A-Yeong lost so much weight in this last month as well. You both should take care of your health more… but it's really sweet that you came this far to meet her," Mr. Kim nodded, impressed. 

"Where is A-Yeong?" He asked, looking around. He felt so nervous all of a sudden. 

"Yeong-ie is at her place… you don't know?" Mrs. Kim came back with a tray full of food. "By the way, this is left over from yesterday. I'm sorry for not making something fresh… there was a lot left."

Seonghwa smiled at the lady. "It's alright. I will eat whatever you feed me…," he looked at the tray and cleared his throat, "and I do know that but I don't have her address. And I wanna surprise her…" well now he was lying. And she was definitely gonna get surprised. 

"That's so nice of you! She is so lucky to have you, Seonghwa," Mrs. Kim smiled widely.

"Not her… it's me who is lucky to have such a wonderful, kind wife," he slightly bowed, "thank you for raising my wife so well. No matter what, it's never enough thanks."

Mr. & Mrs. Kim's hearts swelled with pride and love. Their eyes were glossy. "That's how we know that our daughter is in a good man's hands," Mr. Kim patted Seonghwa's back. 

Oh, Seonghwa wanted to bow down and ask for apologies but right now, he could only think about his wife. He got even more worried, now that he knew she wasn't doing well and was losing weight. "Could I get the address, please?"

…

A-Yeong's sweet nap was disturbed by the obnoxious doorbell. Sighing, she got up and looked in the decorative mirror in her living room. She wiped the drool and combed through her hair with her hands. 

The doorbell rang again making her flinch. "Ugh, I gotta change this hell of a bell," she mumbled. "Coming!"

As she opened the door, her face fell, and her heartbeat increased. Seonghwa was standing there, looking oh so miserable. His hair was longer, his cheeks were all gone, and the big dark eye bags were so prominent. The little shine he had in his eyes was gone. His appearance made her worried at the same time scared. 

"A-Yeong…" he whispered and rushed to hug her. He missed her. Though he never hugged her, he regretted not doing this earlier because she felt warm, she felt safe. "Fuck, A-Yeong, why would you leave me like that," his voice was so hollow, almost sounding like he had no energy left.

"O-Oppa?" She took him inside and made him sit on the couch. "How d-do you know where I live?" She asked ignoring his previous sentence. 

"I didn't know before. I went to your parents and they gave me the address," he saw how her face got filled with horror. "I didn't say anything… they were nice. They fed me breakfast as well." 

Her face softened at his compliment to her parents. She awkwardly sat opposite him, mind filling with the coldness of their relationship. A lump formed in her throat. 

"W-why are y-you here?" She cleared her throat. 

"To take you back," he replied immediately as if he came prepared… which he kinda was. 

"No… I won't go back," she looked dead into his eyes. 

"Please don't say that. I can't without you… please come back. I promise I will do better," he pleaded. 

"No! You are only asking for this because all you care about is your reputation and respect!" She spat the words. "I don't wanna go back and be your maid!" Tears ran down her face.

"Fuck the reputation and respect! I want you! This time, not for the public!" He raised his voice. 

"How can I trust you? Huh?" She raised her voice as well. 

"How do I trust your love for me, then? You left me like that! You didn't even fight for your love!" He was not aware of the things he was saying. Things were being exchanged in the heat of the moment. 

A-Yeong stood up as well as Seonghwa. "I didn't fight for your love?" She whispered. "You fight for your love from the world… not with the person you love, Oppa," her breath came out in pants. "I always asked for love. That was the only thing I wanted from you but your head was deep down into your ego! Oppa I came here to my parents so that I could feel loved, but that was not enough… I only wanted your love to fill the void in my heart!... Please remind yourself how many times I begged for your attention and love… please do," she sat back on the chair with a thump, her head in her hands as she violently sobbed. 

Seonghwa stood there, even more upset. He was an idiot to even doubt her love. He knew very well that she would go beyond the limits to keep him healthy and happy. And here he was, an ungrateful and arrogant mess who was still pointing his finger at his innocent wife. He knew that she deserved better.  She deserves someone who could love her far more than she thought she deserves. But he couldn't let her go. He wanted to make himself better… for her.

He moved closer and kneeled in front of her sobbing form. Taking her hands in his, "I'm sorry, A-Yeong… I ruined good things for you… please forgive me. You can say anything, beat me even. But please… don't leave me like this. I can't live like this. I miss you. I miss seeing you around the house and your little check-ups on me throughout the day," he took a deep breath, "let me heal our love… Give me a last chance. I'll do better. Oky? One month… just one month and I'll prove it to you," his unshed tears finally found their way down his cheeks. 

A-Yeong looked at him. Her mind was empty. All she could see was the sincerity in his eyes. She had nothing to lose. Thinking about it, she wanted to give him another chance. Why not? She was still very much in love. No one can just not love someone after so long. It hurts and if he was ready to heal it, then so be it. 

"One month you say?" She whispered. 

"Please," he sobbed. 

Removing her hands from his, she held his face and angled towards her. His lips, which were soft and pillowy, were chapped. She moved their heads closer until their noses were touching. His warm breath fanned over her lips. 

"Please come back home with me," and then her soft lips landed on his. She felt so soft and silky against his lips. The ache in their hearts dwindled. Seonghwa wanted to go back in time and smack the hell out of his old self for not understanding things sooner. He was so upset about how he missed these things for more than two years. He could have had the taste of his wife's sweet lips. But now was not the time to sulk. It was time to make things right. 

Seonghwa stood up and picked A-Yeong. Her legs were around his hips. Her hands snaked around his neck and caressed his nape. Moving further into the apartment, he kicked open the door of her single bedroom. Nearing the bed, he threw her on it, and she bounced a little making both of them giggle. 

Seonghwa was quick in removing his dress shirt and pants. He then helped A-Yeong out of her clothes and oh she looked like a goddess. He has never seen someone as beautiful as her in his life. "You know I'm holding myself back from hitting myself. How could I not see such a precious goddess before?" He said and settled in between her legs. 

He grabbed her legs and pulled her closer and feverishly kissed her lips. Their tongues tangled together, and they fought for dominance. His hands traveled down her spine as he helped her lay down. He slowly pulled out of the kiss and moved along the jaw. 

His head dipped in her neck as he tried to find the sweet spot, leaving red and purple bruises behind. She moaned when he sucked a particular spot on her neck. He paid more attention to it. 

Sitting back up, he admired his artwork on her. His left hand found its way to her boobs and the other one made its way toward her needy pussy. "So beautiful," he latched onto the other breast and licked her perked-up nipple, and gave it a good suck. At the same time, sliding his fingers up and down on her wet pussy. 

"O-Oppa!" She moaned and Seonghwa's cock twitched, precum dribbling out of his slit.

"That's right, baby. Say it again," he moaned and gave the other nipple his attention. 

"Oppa, please give me more," listening to her, he brought his face near her glistening pussy. 

"Look at you, all nice and wet… just for me?" As he blew his hot breath on her pussy making her flinch. 

"J-just for y-you, Oppa…" she whined and looked down at him who was already looking at her.

Seonghwa smirked and let his long tongue out and teased her throbbing bud. He enjoyed how her face scrunched up and her mouth hung open, leaving a needy whine. 

"Oppa, ple- o-ohhh," she moaned as he roughly sucked her bud. Her eyes rolled at the back of her head. 

"So sweet for me," his deep voice made goosebumps on her skin. 

His warm and wet tongue poked her leaking cunt. He gave a harsh suck and eased two fingers into her. The wetness and the warmth made his cock twitch. She felt so hot. He could feel her clench around his fingers. "Fuck, baby. You are so hot… look, your slutty pussy is taking my fingers so well."

"Oppa, s-so g-good," she grabbed his hair, pulled him closer to her pussy, and grinded against his face. He let her do whatever she was doing before pulling away and manhandling her onto her side. 

He pumped his cock, covering it with his precum and her slick. "You will take Oppa's cock like a good girl, right?" He aligned his throbbing cock with her pussy. 

"Yes, yes… like Oppa's good girl–" she whined as he pushed the head of his enormous cock inside her hot cunt.

"Baby, you are so tight– fUck," he moaned loudly. "So tight. You suffocate my cock so well."

He tried to fit the whole of him but he couldn't, too big for her. "Oh baby, is Oppa too big for you? Hm? I can't fit it all the way in."

"Yes-" she whined. "Wanna fit it all," her tears escaped her eyes.

"Don't worry, baby. We will work on that. Don't wanna hurt you now do we?" He waited for a minute and pulled out until his head was left inside her. And then he jabbed back inside her making her scream his name.

"There, there, love. A bit more," he picked her leg and rammed inside her at an animalistic speed. They both were moaning messes. 

"Oppa!" His cock twitched again, "I'm cumming!" He brought his hand to her clit and rubbed it for her. Her high hit her like a train. Her body jolted and trembled under him. 

Her fucked up state triggered his high as he came inside her with a loud moan of her name. He turned her on her, still inside her. He gently laid on her, without hurting her. His head was right in between her breast. He listened to her heartbeat, it calmed him down, her hand caressing his head was like a cherry on top. 

After coming down from his high, he pulled out of her carefully. His cum dribbled out of her gaping hole. His spent cock twitched slightly. Chuckling, he looked at her face. She was looking at him through her hooded eyes. Her face glowing after sex. 

"Hold on," he gently whispered and hurried inside the bathroom. Coming back after a few minutes, he picked her up in his arms and brought her inside the bathroom. The tub was filled with steaming water along with a lavender bath bomb, which he found in the drawer while trying to find a washcloth, in it. It smelled so good. 

Seonghwa let her get into the tub. He went out, still butt naked, and came back with two champagne flutes and a champagne bottle. He poured some for both of them. He got inside the tub, behind her, and pulled her closer to his chest. Her head comfortably laid on his shoulder. His hands started massaging her shoulders. 

"Thank you," she whispered, sipping on her champagne. 

"No, no. Thank you… for giving me another chance. I feel bad for acting the way I did," he kissed her shoulder. 

"I forgive you…" she smiled. 

"But I'm still the cold CEO for the public," they giggled. 

"Yeah? I'm not gonna lie if you love me like this, that Oppa will turn me on too," he tickled her at her comment. 

"Yeah? Well, my queen will get whatever she wants," they fell into the comfortable silence. 

Seonghwa and A-Yeong cherished this moment. This was their new start… where both of them were soft for each other.

"Why didn't you take care of yourself?" A-Yeong's voice came out sad.

"I deserved this," he kissed her temple. 

"Don't say that…" she whined and looked into his eyes… they were now shining. 

"How about you take care of me and I take care of you?" She smiled widely and nodded, scooting even closer. "Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah," his hands rubbed her waist. 

"Why didn't I receive any notice… about, you know?" He cleared his throat at the bitter filling. 

"I didn't dare to do so… although I did start finding one but it all seemed bullshit," she replied.

They stayed in the tub for a little longer. A-Yeong came out and started preparing for lunch. In the meantime, Seonghwa changed the bedsheet. 

As they ate their lunch, they started catching up on each other's lives. For the first time, it wasn't awkward or stressful. They held hands on the table and enjoyed each other's company. 

Being tired from the earlier activities and lunch, they went to bed for a nap. It was the first time that they both were in the same bed. Seonghwa cuddled her closer, head on hers. Right before they drifted off, he confessed—

"I love you too…"

.....

Sanaa's note:

I hope you enjoyed this. 😄

The behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @cheline @jhmylove @sansmilkbread

*lemme know if you wanna be added to the permanent or specific taglist*

Have a nice day/night💓

[extenler]

Letter She Wrote For Him

Saturday, Aug 20th 2022.

Do you remember the first time you fell in love with somebody?

Judging by your dating history, I bet you don’t.

Kidding, Big Man. Blame Becca cause she told me all of that.

No. Please don’t do it. I was joking too.

But anyway, I do remember when I first fell in love with somebody. He was my classmate. Smart, popular, charming. Kind of boy you’d instantly like just because he was smiling at you in the school corridor.

I was thirteen—such a naïve little girl. I didn't dare to talk to him, or even have a little chit-chat about our science teacher, who always gave us a bunch of homework. So I just sat at my chair, staring at him from the corner and adoring him like he was a prince charming from a kingdom of nowhere. A cute love story, wasn't it?

I know you must not believe it since I look like a different person now. But that isn't the point of me telling you this.

How about the second time you fell in love with somebody? Do you remember it? Do you know that people called it The Intense Love?

I just knew it two days ago. The old man upstairs told me about those Love Theories.

Anyway, I do remember mine.

Of course, I do remember it cause it was the worst love I’ve ever had in my entire life. It turned my life upside down as I fell into that intense love story. I saw all of my insecurities, fears, and the most important thing–self-doubt.

I don't have to explain everything to you cause I know you probably knew about it. Yup, that's about him.

I've always told myself that falling in love with him was the worst decision ever. And I hate myself because of that, because I fell in love with a wrong–bad person.

I remember that day when you came to save me from him. The day when I felt like I was the lowest person on this earth, even I felt disgusted with myself.

I was terrified. Whenever he was around, I've always felt like a rabbit, waiting for the predator to chase and eat me.

But then you suddenly showed up. You have no idea how much I was relieved to see your tall figure at the cake shop door.

The face you made when you saw him showed that you hated him so damn much, and you could kill him right then. But you didn’t. Glad you didn’t. Imagine how the owner lady would freak out if she saw someone got murdered in her little cake shop.

Kidding.

Okay, that wasn't funny.

After he left us in that room full of sweet scents-my favorite, I thought, 'Oh, I'd be fine now’. But the truth was, I had to feel anxious because you were staring at me without saying anything for ten minutes straight. And you gave me that look. The one that I've never understood what was the meaning.

Did I scared? Of course, I did.

However, the feeling was different when he was the one who sat in front of me. When I was with you, I got scared because I couldn't read your mind, your face, or anything. I was clueless. I hated that.

Another five minutes passed. Finally, you started talking to me. Wondering about my addiction to sweet foods. Didn't even bother to ask about what happened between him and me. While I knew you were deadly curious. And for the next seconds, you made me completely forget my fears for him.

Have I ever told you that I really love your eyes?

Nope. Don’t answer it. I know exactly what the answer is. How could I tell you that when we’ve never had a 'real’ conversation?

I always secretly called them October Eyes. Cause they remind me of the tree leaves in the autumn. God, I miss Nana. Sorry, Nana is my grandmother. I hope she doesn't get too upset about what happened to me.

Your eyes are too bright to be a natural brown. But too milky to be a bar of choco. So let's call them honey. Cause they're sweet and indicate depth and warmth.

Funny how I started catching feelings for you because of them.

When the sun was gleaming through your eyes, while we were standing on the sidewalk, looking face to face and my heart was beating so fast.

At that moment, I knew I was falling in love for the third time. The one that people called The Unconditional Love. Also, the one that made me laugh a lot cause there's no way you will be my unconditional love.

I’ve learned from The First Love that falling in love is the most incredible feeling in the world. But it's not always last forever like what would appear in the fairytale stories.

And from The Intense Love, I’d learned everything I want from love and everything I don’t. Or should I say that I am still on my recovery progress from this phase? Because the truth is, it's traumatized me. I feel like I couldn't love anyone else again. I don't deserve to be loved.

I'm scared to fall in love again.

And the fact that I was falling for you made me more terrified.

I once gave all of my heart to a man because I thought he'd do the same. Yes, I was wrong. I gave my heart, and he broke me, everything inside of me.

I have nothing left.

All of these months I was trying to heal myself but I always failed. I just made everything get worse every day. Until now.

Look what I’m doing now, writing you a letter that I know I will never send you. I don't even have the courage to tell you what I feel about you.

I'm sorry.

But I should love myself first before I let someone love me. Before I love them.

Before I love you.

I am so sorry for leaving you with those bad memories about me. I hope you hated me when I left you. Because hating someone is easier than missing them.

I don't want you to miss me. Or even wasting your time thinking about me. That’s why I’m doing this. Avoiding you every time you came to see me. I want you to hate me as much as I hate myself right now for making you suffer.

Lastly, I hope you’ll always be okay, just like what you’ve kept telling me.

I love you, Joel. I always do.

Secretly yours,

Selena.