#so you're telling me that this woman expressed a boundary about her character

[redwinterroses]

by far the wildest take I have seen recently has been "tags are for my organization only, and content creators shouldn't be looking at their tags on tumblr."

Like. okay first of all: cc's are people and they are tumblr users just like anyone else. Expecting them to interact with the site in some weird, circumspect way is ridiculous. Why in the world should someone have to blacklist or avoid the tags for their own work or character?

Second: tags exist in order to find things. On your own personal blog, when reblogging things, they're for organization (and helping your followers block things.) But when you make a post and tag it, that goes into the main tag. That's how tumblr WORKS. (Or at least, is supposed to. Sometimes it's hard to get things into the main tag. That's another issue entirely.) Saying "I tagged it with this person's name but I didn't want them to SEE it" is insane -- if you don't want people interacting (and that! includes! the possibility! of a cc!) then don't maintag it. It's that simple.

I don't know if this is a newbies-don't-get-how-tumblr-works thing or what but if you put something about someone on the internet, they 100% have the right to interact with it, positively, negatively, or otherwise. Especially if you specifically tag them.

[seaweedstarshine]

*Poll inspired by typical ambiguity in the new audio story Victory of the Doctor, which on an unrelated note is amazing!

Evidence for each argument beneath the cut!

Open marriage

The Doctor's wedding to Marilyn Monroe occurs in A Christmas Carol, when he storms off to a chapel with lipstick marks on his face. “I’ll just go and get married then, shall I? See how you like that. Marilyn? Get your coat!”

While he wasn't yet with River then, he maintains this relationship afterwards, apparently with River involved. In the mini-episode Good Night, the Doctor enters the TARDIS with a euphonium, calling over his shoulder, “River! I’ll see you later! Tell Marilyn she’s too late, she’ll have to use the biplane. Take care!”

Another piece of evidence comes from The Wedding of River Song, when they're passive-aggressively flirting.

“Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on President Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover.” “I always thought so.” “She mentioned you.” “What did she say?” “Put down that gun.” “Did you?” “Eventually.” “Oh, they're flirting. Do I have to watch this?” (from Kovarian)

I've never understood the innuendo (please tell me what I'm missing), but Kovarian does, and as we know from The Husbands of River Song, the Doctor and River are both married to Cleopatra, so… it's definitely something.

There's also that diary page in The Eternity Clock game that suggests the Doctor, River, and Jim the Fish got blackout drunk at karaoke night and started “some sort of religion of love” which went on to last for centuries.

Serial cheaters

“How can you be engaged, in a manner of speaking?” The Doctor is jealous in Flesh and Stone before he's even kissed her, which doesn't set him up as a person who'd be interested in an open marriage.

“No, wait. That's your husband? That's who you're married to? Not anybody else?” In The Husbands of River Song, the Doctor is clearly not expecting the other husbands. Culminating in the same episode…

“So, King Hydroflax?” “Oh, how many times? I married the diamond!” “So you say.” “Elizabeth the First!” “Ramone!” “Marilyn Monroe!” “Stephen Fry!” “Cleopatra!” “Same thing!”

It appears he is well aware of her other spouses (and that she's aware of his); so perhaps his surprise was more that didn't expect her to be so flagrant about them. It makes him insecure (“I posed as his nurse. Took me a week.” “To fall in love?” “It's the easiest lie you can tell a man. They'll automatically believe any story they're the hero of.”) enough to start an argument about it.

River also expresses her jealousy as an obvious fact, as seen in The Day of the Doctor Novelization (written by Moffat who (along with Alex!!) knows the character best):

“Ow!” “Madame de Pompadour?” “Jealous?” “Of course I’m jealous. Keep your hands off her.”

In The Name of the Doctor, we learn that the Doctor, who has had a number of... sexually-charged moments with Clara (including, but not limited to, Victorian Clara), has avoided telling her that River is his wife. Vastra is uncomfortable with having to introduce them, having “gone a darker shade of green.”

“The Doctor might have mentioned me?” “Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, of course he has. Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.” (from Clara)

Actually both

This could mean many things (i.e. open marriage with boundaries which are violated), but potentially, all the same evidence from prior arguments! With a shade of “Our lives are back to front.”

In the mini-episodes First Night/Last Night, when River, having burst into the TARDIS and pretended to faint, mistakes her past self for another woman the Doctor's hiding from her, she openly expresses jealousy.

“Doctor. Have you brought someone else here? Does anyone agree to wear that dress? Where is she!” “River, think it through!” “This happened the last time we were here. You brought someone else!” “No I didn’t!” “Yes you did, I heard you talking to her!”

However, when a third and significantly older version of River makes the same mistake, she no longer expresses jealousy, but rather curiosity, which could at least signal a shift in how she sees their marriage.

Maybe there was a conversation that happened. Maybe it slipped the Doctor's mind when he forgot Clara.

Actually neither

This could also mean multiple things, but one of those things is this. The Doctor is a widower from the start. Likewise, River is well aware of Doctor's death on Trenzalore, “of course River would know, she's always known,” having been raised to prevent those events, and having refused to be bound by that destiny.

How can fidelity be defined the same way for time travelers? Everyone's spouses are dead somewhen. River understands the paradox of her husband's existence better than anyone. To quote The Day of the Doctor Novelization yet again…

‘Because you live in a time machine. All of history is still happening outside those doors. On a good night that means everyone you ever met is still alive and you can’t wait to see them again. On a bad night, it means everyone’s dead, and you want to charge around the universe, pretending you can do something about that.’ She looked up at me. ‘I know which version of you I prefer.’ 

And there she was, so alive again. I remembered her, twisted, burnt and dead, in the depths of The Library. ‘What if there are people who died because of me?’ I asked. ‘What if there are people I should have saved?’

‘People die. All people, everywhere. We grieve and we move on. That is how we respect the dead. That is how we forgive ourselves in their presence and their absence.’

Please feel free to add anything I missed!

[leavemetoexist]

I finished all 4 Studio Investigraves games and I have opinions. (Spoilers to all the games by the way but you already know that)

I played them all backwards from the most recent to least recent by complete accident hence why I shall be reviewing them from least recent to most recent. I'll be judging them based off gameplay, characters and story. Of course don't take this too seriously it's my general opinion and I wouldn't mind hearing other people's personal tier list about which game was their favourite. My interpretation of the characters can of course vary from others opinions as well so keep that in mind.

4. Eloquent Countenance

Gameplay: the gameplay in this one wasn't actually bad, I quite liked doing the different tasks however with that being said, I also got lost multiple times about what I was supposed to do (I think i'm to blame for this once honestly because it was spelled out for me). Overall I still liked it but again I had issues. I did however adore the mix of 3d modelling and 2d models.

Story: The story isn't bad, if anything it leaves room for so many things. The explanation to the end did confuse me though because I couldn't tell if Forcas was talking to the woman trapped in the body or if he was talking to the angel that had taken over the body. And also why did us the angel decide that we did want to give the body back to her? Again a lot of questions that I think can be expanded on if they ever to second game. (I think this is mostly me wanting a second game so badly lol)

Characters: Our character Lisa is alright, I have no grievances with her, she's funny and sarcastic as hell and honestly my favourite. Forcas on the other hand... I like his shenanigans, but there is only so much fourth wall breaking one can take before it isn't very special, I guess? The way he speaks is like how I would write an overpowered annoying know-it-all character when I was 13. So yea not my favourite. I do love their characters designs though, absolutely gorgeous in my opinion.

3. Cold Front

Gameplay: I had no problem with the gameplay, except maybe when I was running from the monster, that was the only hard part. This was a shorter game so there wasn't too much gameplay and coming down to the end I was honestly a little annoyed that we'd basically ceased gameplay and had started basically just started reading out the rest of the story. I wish there was a boss fight to the end, a little something something to really close it off would've been nice.

Story: It was heartwarming (ironic). I can not express it enough that I really love how well done the story is, both endings really got me. One was a happy ending technically with only Augustine living and it was so dark that he was happy to finally feel seen again once Winnie was dead. Winnie had no idea that he was breaking a lot of Augustine's boundaries but at the same time, these two just needed some communication and they were fine in the end which was perfectly okay with me. They both reflected and became better people together.

Characters: No notes, they were good. I loved the fucked up anxiety version of Augustine and Winnie, it really shows how anxiety is and how overthinking and keeping everything in can really harm a friendship.

2. Dead Plate

Gameplay: There is so much that needs to be talked about with the gameplay. First of all, our character Rody, does not have a side and back angle so that you can tell which way you're facing, which messed me up a lot when I tried to serve tables. When I first booted up the game it took me way too long to figure out the what to do in the tutorial (This one might be on me tbh so I won't be too mean to the game about it). The various customers did not make any facial expressions as to help indicate to the players their level of annoyance going from good-> annoyed-> angry-> leaving. I really wished they had that, even if it weren't a face at least some sounds would've been nice.

Story: I adored the story, it's fucked up, it's nice and it's overall really good. Genuinely no notes, it's cut and dry, nothing overally complicated and I loved it.

Characters: I loved the characters. Rody is so deeply in love with his girlfriend (Marieanna) and loses his sense of self. He literally does not know who he is without her and instead of listening to her and improving himself and becoming his own person, he makes himself think that if he just had enough money, that she would take him back. Vince on the other hand, woah that motherfucker is a little mad in the head isn't he? I was expecting your usual obsessive yandere esc character but no. He becomes not really obsessed but more like testing a theory. He has never tasted food and wants so desperately to make food where you can taste the love in it so when he found out about Rody whiles dating Marieanne, well he just had to put this theory to the taste test right? I also live for the theory of him wanting to express his love to Rody by feeding him the thing that he loved most (I think this theory is actually pretty solid tbh and I'm not sure if it's a theory or confirmed within the game. I played this so long ago that I've kind of forgotten).

1. Elevator Hitch

Gameplay: This one might be obvious to most people who follow me but Elevator Hitch is literally my absolute favourite. The gameplay itself was quite fun, I enjoyed the puzzles and tasks that had to be done and the uniqueness of each floor. I had one problem where I didn't realise you could look around the elevator, I wished there were some arrows to indicate you could do that but overall the gameplay was solid.

Story: The story is simple, simple in a fun complicated way. It certainly didn't answer why the building is the way it is but that was alright with me. I enjoyed especially the small glimpses at protag's life before he got stuck in the elevator. I loved the ending, the fact that he had no real choice but to go back was *chef's kiss* Sad ending for Protag but that's okay, solid story.

Characters: One of my favourite head cannons about this game is that coworker is actually pretending to be stupid about the situation that we the player are experiencing and I can be more than be convinced about that. Our main character definitely has shit going on, as saw in the end he needed that job and well the fourth floor with his parents. I loved the dialogue options and the dynamic going on between the two of them. They're both silly and share one brain cell and I adore them for that.

[elijahs-wife]

🌙 hi y'all! april is pretty much over—i'm a bit late this month but here is a list of all the incredible fics i read over the last month. i can vouch for each one of them, they are all incredible!

🌙 reminder: some of these stories are 18+, so if you are a minor, please don't interact with them! respecting boundaries is important. please also remember to show your support to your favorite fic writers and REBLOG their work! likes are great but reblogs are what keep us going and motivate us to write more stories! one click of a button truly means the world to us.

🌙 catch up with last month's reading list!

☁ the vampire diaries/the originals

↠ breakfast in bed by @theeoriginals

[lucien castle x reader, one shot, fluff] this was the first fic i've ever read for lucien and it actually made me not hate his guts lmao, so cute but still keeping with the essence of his character!! 💖

↠ tranquil by @seraphictrash

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] literally made me cry, was not expecting this fic to be what it was, it's horribly sad but beautiful and just written so, so well.

↠ take me by the heart, take me by the hand by @iliveiloveiwrite

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] ahh i really loved this one!! i love a good soulmate au and millie delivered hard 😌 she never misses y'all

↠ emptiness of the heart by @imgoingtofreakoutnow

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] made me want to unalive myself. so sad. please just read, i cannot talk about this fic again.

↠ a life without you by @xxwritemeastoryxx

[eventual elijah mikaelson x reader, series] i am so incredibly excited for this series especially bc i've never seen this specific au done before for elijah? and ahhh dom's series always slap hard so i just know it's going to be awesome (while you're at it pls check out her extensive masterlist she is so talented!!)

↠ starved by @nikmikaelsonswife

[klaus mikaelson x reader, one shot, smut] sweet lord this was so, so sexy 🥵 klaus in rut— GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

↠ turn me or leave me by @malfoys-demigod

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] this one was :( made me so upset lmao, hit me right in the heart :(

↠ stefan helps you with a panic attack by @auroracalisto

[stefan salvatore, drabble] i had to include this on here bc reading it was such a comfort to me and i just wanted to share that with anyone who might need it 💕

↠ like i'm gonna lose you by @hellotvshowtrash

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] literally obliterated my heart pls 😭 so beautifully written and tragic.

↠ favorite city, favorite day by @malfoys-demigod

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] absolutely adorable,

↠ gestures by @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] elijah is such a cutie in this one—pls read if you enjoy the 'two idiots in love' trope 😌

↠ kick ass by @biisexualemma

[kol mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff (?)] SO CUTE I YELLED!!! kol is such a sweetheart (when he's not being a pain) and this fic just made me fall in love with him a little bit??

☁ marvel cinematic universe

↠ persephone's symphony by @dizzydancingdreamer

[bucky barnes x reader, series] whenever a new chapter comes out it is the highlight of my day. i love this series more than i can express, it is actually so good and masterfully written and i will keep shouting about this until y'all give it the attention it deserves. READ.

↠ it's messy inside, let me take your coat by @divine-mistake

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, smut] this one took me on a flipping roller coaster of emotions, but the ending had me melting 🥺

↠ between metal and flesh by @thatweirdoleigh

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, whump (?)] this hurts my heart but in the best way 🥺 very painful but also soft and sweet 💞

↠ the four times bucky tries to tell you he loves you and the one time he does by @hellotvshowtrash

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, fluff] so fucking cute oh my god makes me yearn so hard for a shy nervous bucky 😭 one of your best works!! 💗

↠ career day by @alittlebitofwords

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, fluff] one of the sweetest things i've ever read 😭 in this house we adore dad!bucky and ahhh this was just so adorable!!! 💓

↠ security deposit by @sventeen-daybreak

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, smut] neighbour!bucky owns my ass, this was so good, loved their relationship and how organic it all was!! incredible 💗

↠ baby blues & tattoos by @angeli-marco-writes

[stephen strange x reader, one shot, smut] i have now re-read this fic 3 times and i am still not over it—your writing style is so good and your characterization of stephen is so spot on 💞

↠ spellbound by @boop-le-snoot

[stephen strange x reader, one shot, smut] have also read this around 3 times now and am still not over it (how starved of content are us stephen fans lmao) — immaculate smut and build up to the smut as well!! 💓

↠ my darling, what did you expect? by @tripleyeeet

[helmut zemo x reader, one shot, angst] makes me wanna unalive myself SFKHSH jk but no this just makes me want to punch zemo and also dom him (maybe both at the same time?)

↠ sam wilson nsfw alphabet by @divine-mistake

[sam wilson x reader, headcanon, smut] yes divine is on this list again. this is like the best sam smut i've read and it wasnt even like. in the form of a full fic. the power you hold, deadly.

↠ 'till death blooms us art by @divine-mistake

[sam wilson x reader, one shot, angst with a happy ending] yes it's this woman again shfshk i can't help that she's so talented. this is an actual masterpiece. so beautiful in its imagery and comparisons, an absolute must read!! 💗

☁ miscellaneous

↠ do what you please to me, i won't resist by @cloudystevie

[andy barber x reader, one shot, smut] literally my entire fantasy in one fic—this is so filthy but so GOOD yknow. jasmeen never misses with the daddy andy content 😌

↠ little red riding hood by @latenitewolves

[peter hale x reader, one shot, smut] one of the first fics i ever read on the hellsite—read it again and was just as amazed, it's still hot as fuck 🥴

↠ passenger seat by @thatslikely

[stiles stilinski x reader, one shot, fluff] so cute its actually insane, fast food and jeep dates with stiles is such a dream 🥺

and that's it for this month! thank you to everyone here for sharing your stories with us! the world is so much better with wonderful fanfiction authors like yourselves in it. always immensely grateful to all of you xx tay 💞

[alirhi]

How I'd have done TFATWS pt 1

Okay, I am such a whore for positive attention that, yes, it literally only takes one person expressing interest to get me to do something lol. So, for the lovely @goblin-tea, here is how The Falcon and the Winter Soldier would have gone for Bucky if I'd been a writer on the show!

Also, shoutout to @gunshou, who popped up showing support when I was in the middle of writing this lol 😘

Episode 1: New World Order

I actually love how most of this episode was handled; it's what drew me into the show in the first place, and gave me such hope for the rest of it. Most of the changes that I'd make here are pretty minor, tbh.

I'd specify the setting in some way for Bucky's nightmare. Obviously, since he was there and knows what happened, when, and where he was, it wouldn't be like the setting changes in movies where they slap a big, bold title card over the scene. Still, I'd probably open with a brief establishing shot showing the city skyline or something; some identifying feature so that viewers can work out where this happened without needing a direct statement from Marvel (note: if you need to directly address your audience to clarify something from within your story, you're a bad storyteller). What year did this take place? I show technology from the time; perhaps a dated cell phone in someone's hand. The point is to establish where and when The Winter Soldier killed RJ Nakajima, without detracting from the emotional impact of the scene. Why does it matter? Because we should know why. Why is Bucky dreaming about this particular incident? Was it his last mission before the events of CA:TWS (a theory I see frequently repeated but with no evidence to back it up)? Was it earlier on? Is RJ only on the forefront of Bucky's mind because of his (unhealthy, but we'll get to that) friendship with Yori? How long has Yori been suffering under the weight of his grief?

I would not have had him crash through the wall, btw. As cool as that shot looked, let's try to remember that The Winter Soldier was a ghost story for 70 years. Ghosts don't leave giant gaping holes in hotel walls. I'm not saying brazen wholesale destruction is out of character for him (obviously not. I've seen CA:TWS lmao. many times. this moment lives rent-free in my brain:

found on google without credit; pls lmk if it's yours so I can credit.

but you don't become a "ghost story" if you always leave that much evidence, ijs)

I'd leave the terrible therapy session alone. That scene was beautiful. Beautifully shot; I loved how claustrophobic it felt, and it really did a wonderful job of showing how Bucky felt on the spot, scrutinized, almost put on display for this bitch woman. This scene establishes Raynor as clearly wrong, and an unprofessional mess, and Bucky calls her out on it. I fucking love that!

lmao gods, I love his painfully awkward forced smile... Guys, this episode is fkn great. (betcha weren't expecting so much praise from me, were you? 😂)

"You're free." "To do what?"

👆👆👆 In my show? That would have more of an impact on Bucky's arc. That question would be one of the underlying issues moving his whole story along. Twice in this show, he's told that he's free, but no one addresses what he's free from, much less what he's free to do next.

It's a minor thing, but when Yori tells Bucky to ask Leah out? I'd have Bucky do more than just shake his head in silent horror. Not much more, just something that matters to me as someone who's worked in the service industry for many, many years and dealt with too many creepos: Bucky would flat-out say "she's at work! that's harassment, Yori!"

Yori can still stomp right past that boundary, and Leah can still smile and agree. I just really want someone to verbally acknowledge that you don't fucking ask someone out when they're at work. Ever. Bucky cringing and apologizing puts the power of the conversation back in Leah's hands; it gives her an out to politely decline if she's not interested, and just laugh off Yori's flirting on Bucky's behalf as a senile old man being silly, so I'm actually fine with how this scene turned out. I just would personally have gone that extra inch there for the idiots in the audience who don't get Bucky's subtle "wtf" reaction and why Yori's suggestion was so bad. If someone's livelihood depends on being nice to you, keep your goddamn distance. Flirting with them or asking them out when they're at that big of a disadvantage and have virtually no power to say "no" is harassment.

Here is where I'd make one more subtle change, too. When Yori sees the mochi and is reminded of his son, and tells Bucky about his death, I'd just slip in a time frame. "x years ago, my son was..." blah. (Guys, it really bothers me not knowing when that scene took place rofl can you tell?)

One complaint I've seen a lot online about this show is how it's a bit murky on just how well known Bucky is in-universe. He can walk around Brooklyn with more or less total anonymity, but he's also recognized as "an Avenger" (when he was never actually technically in the group)... but honestly? I think it's actually pretty realistic. Just because someone's famous doesn't mean every single person on the planet knows who they are and what they look like well enough to instantly recognize them on the street. People look different in photos than in person, and pre-Blip, Bucky had the complete Jesus look - long flowing hair and a full beard. In TFATWS he's a little scruffy, but not this:

Sebastian looks like about 10 different men from one moment to the next just irl with a change in haircut, lighting, expression, whether or not he got enough sleep the night before... 😂 I don't really find it hard to believe that people not expecting to bump into an Avenger would have trouble seeing Bucky post-haircut as anything other than just another attractive white guy.

Anyway! Sorry for the segue lol. On to the date!

Earlier in this very same goddamn episode, it is established that Bucky can remotely operate a car with a tablet. This is not a technologically-inept geezer. This is a 30-something nerd who loves new technology, who, yes, is facing a brave new world and a whole lot of new technology, but has never shown any issue picking it up. The crappy flip phone he handed Raynor earlier? a burner to keep her out of what little personal life he does have (we never see it again in the real show, anyway). The "tiger photos" line? Stays, not to show Bucky's floundering ineptitude with technology, but as a little nod to his bisexuality. (don't like it? don't wanna see Bucky as bi? go watch the show and read Skogland's borderline-offensive interviews. This isn't "how I would pander to a homophobic audience" it's "how I would have written it." the "Bucky is bi" interpretation is super fucking common and has been since TFA so bite me 😁)

Tiny nitpick, but I'd also have the Battleship boards actually set up properly lmao. What even was that? Anyway...

I don't think I'd have Leah get all ranty about Yori and RJ. That's not first date talk, for one thing. For another, let's ease up on the beating Bucky and the audience over the head with that one incident in a single episode, shall we? Instead, I'd have her stick with the date questions - she asked his age, asked about his family; I'd have her follow it with questions about what he does for a living (giving us a chance to not only actually have that question answered for us - how the hell does Bucky keep himself from being homeless? lol - but also set up...)

He shuts down a little when she starts asking about his past; she's innocently curious, just trying to get to know him, but he's flinchy and deflects with questions about her. The date is awkward, but doesn't abruptly end with him running away lol. He walks Leah home, like the old-fashioned gentleman he is, goes home, himself, and end on him grimacing in his sleep, in the clutches of another nightmare: not as much detail as the RJ murder scene, we see disjointed, disorienting images of fluorescent lights glinting off of machinery, the occasional shot of Bucky writhing in the chair, a shot of that damned notebook (to remind the dumber audience members why Raynor's passive-aggressive notebook thing was so triggering for him), and we hear echoes of a couple of the trigger words, and Bucky's screams.

[jtargaryen18]

Hi there! I hope you don't mind me sending an ask but I wanted to say something. I'm a fairly new writer and I'm still trying to find my style. I don't write smut, I want to, but I just don't know how to get round to writing it? I'm fine with reading it, but writing it for me personally makes me feel uncomfortable and I'm just wondering how to get over that boundary because I want to write it someday 😂 I hope you're having a good day!

Thank you for writing. 🙏 

I’m honored that you thought to ask me and happier than I can say that you’re writing. I hope to see your stories on my dash. 💕 And on finding your writing voice? Just keep writing. You’ll find it. Trust me.

Smut. Okay, now here’s an aspect of writing, particularly romance, that can really make or break your story. I’m going to tell you three things that I hope will help you navigate smut scenes in your fics.

First of all, you say you’re uncomfortable writing it. I want you to determine why that is. It’s important. For some writers they either haven’t had sex before (and that’s okay) or they don’t have a lot of experience with different aspects of sex. That’s also okay. There are a surprising number of writers on here who are writing incredible sex scenes and are personally virgins. I’m not joking.

So answer that question.

Then, figure out what in sensual scenes turns you on. All of us have personal preferences or kinks, if you will. What do you like? Imagining doing something that does it for you with the hero of your dreams? Well, that makes for a pretty fun writing session, to be honest. It eliminates that level of discomfort most of the time. If you don’t really know what turn-ons you have, then read a ton of fics or stories with smut - erotic or erotica.

So answer that question too.

Second? Research. If you’re writing smut and want to feature a given position or act that you’re not familiar with, do some homework. Importantly, use good sources here. I’m not calling anyone out - promise - but it can pull you out of a story when you encounter something in a sensual scene that just isn’t possible (unless someone is a shapeshifter) or that you’re not entirely sure about. If you’re not sure it shows and then the writer’s authority to convince me of their story is weaker. I enjoy writing sensual scenes from a male POV, for example, but I’m not a male so I researched when I started writing how sex felt for a man. How did it feel to receive a blowjob? To be inside a woman? To orgasm. It’s very different from what I experience as a woman. And there’s a lot of information out there from articles in men’s magazines to health studies, and everything in between. I’d use sources like known publications or journals. Sometimes I’d even revisit scenes in books I’ve read from established publishers because they’ve been through an editing process and any weird sci-fi sex slip up would have been caught during that. if you have a trusted partner, they can be a source of information too if you’re comfortable in asking.

Lastly? It’s all about emotion. Sometimes, a sensual scene is about two characters expressing love for each other. The physicality then takes a back seat to feelings. But you still have to get the physical right and the emotion has to be there. Maybe the hero wants the heroine so much and he’s done waiting (dark), or he wants to prove to her that he loves her and thinks she’s beautiful. Just maybe both characters are horny as hell and the minute the opportunity presents itself, they are getting it on. lol 

Just remember that emotion has to be there. If you can’t invest a reader’s emotions in that sensual scene in one of those ways? The scene won’t work for them. How do you know you pulled that off? Put it down for at least 3 days and come back and read it like it was the first time you’ve read it. You’ll have your answer.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions, I’m here. Good luck!

HUGS 💕

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Great Thing

Doubles as my submission for the Nasty Off. Merry Ficmas!!

Part 2: Discretion

“No, N'Jadaka. I do not make a habit of performing sexual acts with women’s backsides,” T'Challa deadpanned. Erik was purposely antagonizing him. Irritating to the degree that T'Challa briefly considered stabbing him again. Not fatally. Well… perhaps, but the thought only lasted a moment. Crass conversation was uncomfortable and tasteless in T'Challa’s mind. “I’d rather refrain from this unsavory topic of conversation, if you don’t mind. Let's return to the discussion at hand.. The status of the shopping center.”

The shopping center a while away was a property they intended to acquire and fill with black businesses including a grocery and pharmacy. They'd yet to close on it.

“You telling me all the fat asses in Wakanda, you’ve never slid in one, said it was an accident?"

T'Challa sat stonefaced across from Erik in his Oakland office, unamused.

"You're the king, you never popped a Dora? ..Okoye? Ayo? I know they'd let you hit in the name of Wakanda,” Erik badgered, his eagle eyes trained on T'Challa’s.

"You were king temporarily, N'Jadaka. Is that an act you attempted?"

Erik's expression was accusatory.

“Are you implying.. that I’d need to lie? My encounters are very straightforward. Not that I owe you an explanation for the acts that I commit, but deceit is not my m.o.”

“Aight butch, you got it,” Erik nodded relishing in T'Challa’s obvious discomfort. His accusatory expression remained and how this topic switch occured,  T'Challa had no clue. The best thing he could do was excuse himself.

"We'll continue our conversation when you're ready to talk business," he spoke rising to his feet and collecting his belongings.

---

“He did what,” Ramonda gasped, holding her chest as she watched T'Challa’s hologram relay the tale of the thuggish run-in from the center of the throne room. “He’d trade his car for a young woman. One he does not know?”

"The man is infuriating, but his progress is undeniable," T'Challa sighed.

“Utyhefu ushiye intliziyo yakhe (the poison has left his heart),” the mining tribe elder muttered.

“Must’ve been your blade, brother," Shuri joked. "Since you pierced him with a spear, he’s not been the same toxic warmonger.”

“I think the Outreach Center suits him. He’s developing healthier boundaries and exercising restraint... with his anger that is. He could have killed the man responsible for the assault on the woman, but he let him go.”

“I would have killed him, ” Shuri nodded, Ramonda admonishing her bluntness.

“Do you trust him," Ramonda asked bringing the throne room to silent attention. T'Challa hesitated.

"If I am transparent, there are still many flaws to his character though no man is perfect," he paused, "I do not trust him to place Wakandan citizens before other nations. However. I do trust him not to betray me and I do trust him to run the center."

"And what do you think, Okoye," Ramonda inquired causing the Dora to step forward gracefully beside T'Challa.

"He is not a threat," she spoke boldly.

"Then I too will trust him." Ramonda nodded.

1 Year Later.

"I guess it's a good thing N'Jadaka found something or someone to get into, You haven't gone out in a while," Okoye swirled her wine glass pointedly. There were a few pretty young women in the Oakland restaurant who appeared to be alone.

"I do.. just fine," T'Challa smiled ignoring Okoye's penetrating stare.

"If you insist." Her brows raised. He hadn't been sexually active in months which was odd.. In Wakanda, California, or anywhere else.. but she dropped the subject.

"Excuse me.. Hi," a figure intruded from the side of the table and T'Challa side-eyed the stranger, his eyes trailing up her figure once he realized she was a woman. Her eyes contained a fondness that confused him. "You probably don't remember me," she smiled nervously. She was dressed in a form-fitting black dress cut off above the knee and his eyes couldn't help but caress the smooth brown skin of her shapely legs.

"Yara," Okoye interjected, her smug eyes on T'Challa. His eyes narrowed at her subtly, upset to be caught red-handed checking out the woman. He did not recall meeting her. He would have remembered.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she breathed excitedly. "You saved my life, you and your cousin. I was working the street, pregnant by my pimp and you two stopped for me."

"Lancaster.." His face brightened with shock when she nodded. Her appearance had changed drastically. "You look exquisite," he gaped quickly correcting himself. "Healthy... You look.. very healthy." Okoye snickered silently.

"Sit," she instructed Yara who took a seat next to T'Challa. "Why don't you two catch up. I have things to attend to.. Have fun," she whispered teasingly. And then they were alone.

"Yara, is it? How is the baby?"

"It was a rough pregnancy. The baby was born with an addiction and we were both in rehab.. I named her Imani and now we're both clean, healthy.. and happy."

"She is a fighter like her mom," T'Challa smiled, warmed by the update.

"Would you like to meet her," she blurted wide-eyed, "She's here along with my mom."

"... Of course," T'Challa stood hesitantly, following Yara to her table. Her dress accentuated her small but deliberate curves in a way that made looking away nearly impossible. He had to force his attention to the older woman sitting near a high chair as he was introduced as 1/2 the duo that saved her life. He smiled, graciously greeting the mother who was extremely vocal with her thanks. More than words, was the evidence. Imani sat healthy, cared for, chubby and gumming on a small piece of chicken. Honor and pride welled within him. "I will definitely bring my cousin to meet you," he promised the old mother, heading back to his own table to pay the bill. Yara followed.

"I got a job at a bank and I'm stable now, financially and emotionally," she blurted. There was admiration and reverence in her eyes, which he was accustomed to. "I'm free of STDs," she added when he nodded. It was such a random addition, but caught his attention nonetheless. He paid his bill and gathered himself to exit. When Yara followed him to the door, he turned to eye her carefully. "Just listen," she implored, suddenly transparent. "I realize you probably think I'm still damaged with a complex of some sort that makes me crazy about my saviors, but I'm really just a woman trying to get the attention of a beautiful and kind man she's only met twice.. Please consider me when you get home tonight," she nodded turning to return to her table. Before he could process his movement, he'd reached for her hand to stop her and she turned on her heel slowly. What was he doing? He didn't have the slightest clue.

"Would you... like to accompany me to my cousin's home for the night," he asked watching her face brighten into a warm, radiant smile.

---

Bumping into every surface, T'Challa fumbled for the lights, Yara's lips all over his neck as she clawed at his black kaftan. He had to have several hickeys by now the way she'd latched onto him like a leech in the car Okoye had left. It rained heavily on the ride back, but they managed to stay dry.. for the most part. Yara was wet, her juices resting on his fingers and he was swollen below the waist, breathing heavily, handling her like a wildcat. She lunged, wrapping her thighs around his waist, her tongue finding the trigger spot on his neck. He threw her onto the couch roughly.

"My cousin should not be back tonight," he rushed removing his kaftan as she watched with hungry eyes. His unexpectedly large muscles flexed and Yara jumped up to touch them only to be shoved back onto the couch. "I need your phone.. I'm sure you understand the need to protect myself. I am vulnerable to you afterall." Without hesitation, she handed her device over and he hid it for safe keeping. When he returned, Yara was naked and arched on Erik's couch. He ran his long finger down the dip of her spine and gripped her buttcheek, squeezing it semi-roughly. "Do you mind if I'm a little rough with you? I am.. a bit sexually charged. I haven't been sexually active for a while."

She smiled, shaking hard with silent laughter.

"Are you laughing at my misfortune, Ms. Yara," he smiled, unable to hide his humor. Her loud giggle broke loose and she snorted, tickled by his admission. "Is that so," he grinned sinking his erection deep into her wetness. Her mouth formed an O, her laugh muted. "Tell me more," he sang in her ear smugly, letting her feel the weight of his member.. heavy inside of her. Before her lips could move, he pulled back and slammed into her again, his hand holding the back of her curly head down firmly. "You'll tell me if I'm hurting you," he asked slamming into her again. All the humor had left the room. "Say something," he murmured switching to shallower steady strokes, his lips on the back of her neck, trailing over her shoulder. She exhaled shakily, "I.. Mm.. Don't.. Dont st- Stop."

He grabbed a fistful of her curly hair then, pulling for leverage, determined to leave everything inside of her as she stuttered through moans. Pulling her head back, his lips found hers and he kissed her sloppily, his tongue trailing to her ear down to her neck. She tensed with a low grunt and he knew that was a trigger spot for her. He wondered if she had another. Sliding his fingers down her wet slit, he fondled her glossy clit, wet with her own fluids, transferring those fluids to his thumb. She squeaked loudly, freezing when he pushed it into her ass. "No one's done that," she murmured in genuine surprise.

"What about this?" He pulled out of her completely with a heavy smack to both cheeks, dipping to tease her starfish with the tip of his tongue.

"That either," she moaned and he trailed his tongue up and down her crack, spitting in her small hole and tongue-fucking it for a finale.

"Would you like me to fuck you in the ass," he whispered and she jolted shocked by his language. "I am a king with appearances to maintain and a man with urges. I am not a priest, Ms. Yara," he smirked. She still appeared stunned. "We'll come back to it. Turn over on your back," he ordered, flipping her himself when she took too long to move. Her legs flew back over her head, his hands pushing them out of the way. He smacked his heavy erection repeatedly against her clit, rubbing the head around snd over it. "Do you want it," he whispered.

"Yes," she pleaded reaching down. Gently, he pushed her hand out of the way.

"Do you really," he tested, "Then make me believe it."

"Fuck me. Please T'Challa," she writhed.

"Language," he pointed in warning with a smirk. "Good girls don't use profanity so roughly."

"I never said I was a good girl." She pulled him down grabbing him to her tightly and he stayed down, his torso pressed to hers. He only lifted his hips, angling himself toward her entrance and pushing himself in slowly to ensure that she related to every inch, intimately. Her eyes developed a clouded haze and she stared into his eyes, marveling. The adoration in her eyes seemed to intensify exponentially within a very short time. "I'm coming," she whined, repeating the phrase over and over soundlessly before her eyes rolled back, her mouth again frozen in an O. He was close himself and decided to push himself to follow her in a powerful orgasm that made him grip the back of the couch for balance.

For a moment, they rested side by side together on the couch, using the time to come down from their sexual highs. When a vibration hit T'Challa's wrist, he sat up quickly pulling on his pants. Moving to the opposite side of the room, he answered the call on his kimoyo beads, Erik's hologram appearing. He appeared to be smoking a joint in a bed next to a sleeping woman.

"No assplay, huh," was the first thing out of his mouth. "You really fulla shit. I do not make a habit of performing sexual acts with women’s backsides," he mocked. "Dumbass nigga. You think I'd buy a house without installing cameras?"

T'Challa ended the call.

@inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @bidibidibombaclaat  @priya212 @romanceoftheeveryday-blog  @muse-of-mbaku @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade  @kreolemami @myboyfriendgiriboy  @loosewindmill  @wakanda-inspired  @madbadsiren  @theunsweetenedtruth @panthergoddessbast  @allhailnjadaka @amethyst1993  @thehomierobbstark @purplehairgawdess  @supersizemeplz @blackpantherismyish  @drsunshine97  @thiccdaddy-mbaku  @wawakanda-btch  @killmongersprncss @imaginewhoever  @niggarachi15 @hidden-treasures21  @phoenixxx1225 @violet-ines  @indigoxsummers  @janelledarling @mermaidchansons  @destinio1  @ash-moneyy @ljstraightnochaser @forbeautyandlife @iamrheaspeaks @yoyolovesbucky @ilovebubblesz  @thememoireeofme  @beautifulqueenflaws @vikkidc @chaneajoyyy

@hold-me-like-a-heart-beat  @simplyyamberr @whoramilaje  @bitemyxxx  @bonita-juanita @eriknutinthispoosy  @blackpinup22 @thadelightfulone  @yaachtynoboat711 @fonville-designs @nickidub718

[taylunae]

My thoughts on Unbelievable so far...

Hi, 2021 Crescent here. I happen to come across this post on my blog, and as I was rereading realized how problematic it was. Where are the trigger warnings? Why was I throwing around the word r*pe so much? It's clear that I was new to fandom, and I've learned so much since then about being sensitive to others, so instead of just deleting this post, I'd like to give it another crack. To show to myself how much we've changed since 2019. Alright, here we go.

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ discussions of SA

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. A lot. And I've been finding myself noticing the different ways that various TV shows are set up. You know, things like structure, main characters, presentation.

It's not very often that I can truly appreciate the presentation about a show. I mean, we all know I love Riverdale (I don't anymore) and it's an absolute dumpster fire of a show but that's not why I watch it. I don't watch Riverdale for the presentation, I watch it for the characters. (To be fair, I still like the characters, but I could only watch a writers room full of men make horrible decisions about characterization for so long before I had to dip) But, I digress.

But I'm watching this new show on Netflix, Unbelievable. And the depth and attention to detail is astounding me. The way that they are setting up the show is so artfully done that it actually amazes me. You begin to the show thinking that the main character is going to be Marie. But as the show progresses, you realize maybe the main character is Detective Duvall. And then Detective Rasmussen. And then you realize "oh it's not any of those." It's a hybrid of the story of two female detectives who are going above and beyond to solve an impossible mystery.

And I thought that this was going to be something that trivialised rape SA with young women. But it doesn't. It is The show talks about rape SA in a way that I'm sure every woman feels about rape SA. It's not playing it off as some awful thing that just happens. They don't say oh well. (That isn't completely true. I failed to mention that some of the characters do have this reaction, and that's what makes the determination of the detectives that take the case all the more validating) Even with one character who feels like she's forced to admit that she made a false report. That (referring to false accusations being sensationalized in media, which was incredibly common during the Me Too movement) is something fat that is in the media all the time but as they build the story you realize but that you can see this whole new perspective from women who report rape SA and then later come out to say that it was a false accusation. (I don't like that I said "new perspective" here. I think a more accurate description would have been a new perspective for me. Because this isn't a new perspective for some women, it's a very common thing that happens.)

In fact, that's one of my greatest fears about rape SA. Not that it will scar me for life. Or that I won't be the same person. Because I know those things are true. If that were to ever happen to me, I know that it will change me on a molecular level. The worst fear that I have about potentially being raped SA is the fact that if you're strong enough (this isn't about strength, it's about support. I remember I used to feel this way about SA. That is you didn't report it, you just weren't strong enough. Fuck that. All women are strong. This is such pick me, fucked up language that had been ingrained into me from living in a small town my entire life. Reporting SA isn't about strength. It's about the community you have behind you, and the people you keep beside you. Supported people can do hard things things) stand up for yourself, there are going to be people who say you made it up. And this show so artfully portrays that perspective.

And every other perspective. It's so well thought-out. And yeah, it's hard to watch. But it's worth the time. (This is one thing I got 100% right. This show is hard to stomach, and I still think about it two years later. I haven't rewatched, I don't think I could now knowing what I know about myself. Maybe I wouldn't like it this time around. But I'm glad I watched it then, it was worth my time.)

** okay, so some final thoughts from 2021 Tate**

I think the reason I had such a visceral reaction to my analysis, however juvenile it was, of the show is because since then I have done extensive work on myself through therapy. Through this therapy, something that we always came back to and talked about was my inherent fear of men. And we talked about how, to my belief, it was always something that had been a part of me.

We worked on that. And we came back to that. A lot. And one night it hit me. I had been preparing a lecture that I had to give to my students the next day about r*pe culture and how it affects the books that we read and something that I always do, because I teach in a small community, is I prepare for the worst, most bigoted statements that I can think of that my students might say and I pre-planned thoughtful, caring answers that restated my boundaries and corrected them to using gentler language to express their curiosity.

While I was doing this I happened to think about something that had happened to me when I was in high school that I had always looked at in a light of "oh that's a funny story to tell." But because I was already studying SA in depth with my students it was at the forefront of my mind, and it was then that I realized that what happened to me at a party in Grade 10 wasn't a funny story, I had experienced sexual assault. And if there was one thing that 2019 me got right was that it did change me.

Because that's when my fear of men started. I could almost pinpoint it to the day.

That's when I started being more cautious.

That's when my anxiety got unmanageable.

Once I had realized this, I immediately reached out to both my mom and my husband and told them about how I thought that I had been sexually assaulted. And just like I feared one of those people didn't believe me at first and required me to validate why I thought that it happened to me. My mother is an amazing person, and one of the most supportive people in my life. However, she also was taught about SA through a male gaze. She had never had somebody as close to her as I am tell her that that it happened to them. And unlike what I thought, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me. I had the opportunity to educate somebody else about exactly what SA means and entails. She cried with me and for me. She told me she loved me. And that was enough.

My husband came home from work that night looking lost. He had heard the story before. I used to tell it as a joke at parties. Yet, he came home and he wrapped me up in a hug and he said "I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that I didn't realize it was wrong until you did."

So like I said earlier. It's about support. I think about some of my earlier comments about how I used to know that if I was ever sexually assaulted it would ruin my life and scar me forever. About how I know that it would change me and I would never be the same.

But I've grown since then. I worked through this realization with my therapist for months. As I've grown, I've come to know other women who have experienced something similar to, or worse than, what I did, and I've noticed something. Did it change who we are? Of course. Am I scarred for life? No. I'm finding that no, I'm not. Did it change who I was on a molecular level? No. It changed me. It made me fearful, for a while. But I was going to change anyways. And I wish that I could have changed without experiencing something horrible, but I am stronger because of it. I'm not saying I'm grateful for my sexual assault, but I am grateful for the lessons I've learned since then.

I was just a child back then, and I didn't know anything about boundaries and how to assert myself or how to say no. But I've learned those things now, and I'm not afraid of men anymore. I wish that I had been taught those things then.

That contrary to what 2019 me thought, despite my realization of my SA, I'm okay. My life hasn't changed that much. And I know that I'm one of the lucky ones, in terms of severity. I know that I walked away and that means that I was lucky.

I'm realizing now that there are more nefarious things at play in our society. What started out as something small, the Me Too movement is now a global movement. And it has helped women all over the world. In 2019, I didn't think that we would live in a world where when somebody had sexual assault allegations put up against them, we dropped those people from sponsorships, and stopped carrying their shows on n*tflix. I never thought that we would live in a world like that, but we do. We don't stand for men who don't respect women, and we certainly don't support them and give them our money.

What's happening in Texas right now with the Ab*rtion Act that is being put out is exactly the kind of thing that will happen if we stay silent. However, it is amazing to know that if we speak out through our social medias and write to our MLAs and Senators that we can make change. We don't sit back and let injustices happen like we used to. We fight, and we set our boundaries, and we say no. And it is making a difference. And sometimes we all need that reminder.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

starlight! starlight!!! you're one of the few people I know who reads toby daye and pls I need to yell with someone about night and silence because IT WAS SO GOOD I'M DYING I HAD TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND WALK AWAY SEVERAL TIMES

@maelace​ asked:

Have you read the new October Daye book yet? Because oh my goodness I must know what you think!

Y’ALL

Y A L L

LET’S HAVE A CHAT

OKAY FOLKS

So, some FAIRLY INCOHERENT thoughts about Night and Silence, which I keep calling Nights and Silences because my brain really likes them plurals I guess:

FUCK AMANDINE!!!!!! FUUUUUUUCK AMANDINE!!!!!! I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!  SHE DOES NOT APPEAR ONCE AND YET I AM CONSUMED WITH RAGE

Seanan does such amazing work on all kinds of mental illness stuff, which I think I’ve discussed before re: Toby Daye and her ongoing upward mobility, but fuck the entire Tybalt plotline was so crushing.  That’s what it’s like, is the thing, to watch someone you love retreating from you and not be able to do anything about it because you don’t want to hurt them worse, and I cheered out loud when he came back, and asking Ginevra to come stand in as regent was such a bittersweet scene because on the one hand yes Tybalt my love take care of yourself, but on the other hand I just want him to be okay.  (FUCK Amandine, by the way)

I would die for Quentin, just kind of in general, but I’m specifically really delighted with the subplot of “Quentin thinks Toby could do better than this arrogant tomcat,” and I’m so proud of my best bisexual prince son for calling Tybalt and apparently just ripping into a King with all the worst swears Toby has ever taught him.  I can’t goddamn wait for the King of the Westlands to be this charming, kind-hearted knight-ling whose impeccable etiquette and noble bearing is deeply and profoundly at odds with the fact that he has really kind of absorbed Toby’s problem-solving techniques.  

Aside: there’s nothing I want more than for this series to go on long enough for the Court of the Westlands to be scandalized by their young king jumping up from his throne and hugging a grumpy changeling dressed in a blood-drenched leather coat without regard for his fine silk shirt.  Even more than that, picture the scene.  It’s the coronation of High King Quentin Sollys, attended by royalty and the highest celebrities of Faerie, Sir October Daye grinning fit to split her face with her husband Tybalt and her adopted nephew, the recently ascended King of Dreaming Cats, all looking ready to die from pride.  Quentin’s parents are both crying perfect beautiful tears, as Daoine Sidhe do, and he’s about to be crowned and presented to the people and it’s great and then--  The ceremony is already underway when the door opens again to admit the Luidaeg, as her most terrifyingly Firstborn self, scowling like a storm cloud and gowned like a hurricane, and everyone is fucking terrified for a moment as she sweeps up the aisle toward the dais.  And then she breaks into a smile and holds out her hands to the Crown Prince, and Quentin laughs and rushes into her arms as he cries “I thought you said couldn’t make it!”  And everyone has a moment of religious fear when the sea witch pets his hair fondly and straightens his shirt and then presses a kiss to his forehead and declares to the room at large “You will be a king like none that Faerie has seen in many centuries, because you have a heart as strong and fair and kind as any I have ever seen.”

No one’s sure if it’s a blessing or a prophecy or just a moment of deeply unforeseen maternal affection from the goddamn Luidaeg, but suddenly the sea witch comes to visit the High King on a semi-regular basis and Quentin is delighted and...well, she was right.

Speaking of people I love, I love Danny?  The best rock boy?  He just wants Toby to talk about her feelings, it’s so sweet, I hope they invite him to the wedding so I can read about an eight-foot suit-wearing granite troll sobbing into a handkerchief about how proud he is of Toby.

I ALSO LOVE MAY, God, give me her and Jazz getting married please.  Also I would love to know more about Jazz--maybe a book with the core mystery including Jazz’s flock of Ravenmays?

SOME TAM LIN SHIT GOIN’ DOWN IN THIS BOOK, I GOT A LOT TO SAY

We all know I’m a fucking weak bitch for Tam Lin retellings.  Tam Lin being a lying piece of shit isn’t especially novel, but I LOVE the idea of Janet being the villain of the piece, however unintentionally?  I’m honestly enthralled.  Bitch...give me a novel...make the Luidaeg the main character and let me weep bitter tears for my beloved sea witch....

You know how I just had a whole bit about “Fuck Amandine” up there?  I stand by it.  Furthermore, FUCK JANET.  Every time she gets nasty with Toby I puff up like an angry cat.  

Incidentally, both Janet and Amandine had a (terrible) daughter they doted on, and when their daughter slipped away, they went out and got a replacement that they tried to force to be completely and entirely mortal, without regard for what their replacement wanted or what would be best for them--and ultimately, the person who took the most damage as a result of their selfishness was Toby both times.  Janet is, I guess, slightly better because she seems to at least care about Gillian, but she’s still...weirdly possessive?  She focuses a lot on how Gillian is hers, and hottest of hot takes, love and possession are not the same thing.

Sign me up for front row seats to all of Toby’s family losing their shit over how Janet treats her.  Sign me up for seats in the goddamn orchestra pit when, having started to realize that, actually, Toby did not bail on her, and that Toby is actually a great person who wants nothing more than to have a relationship on Gillian’s terms, and that Janet actively arranged events to drive Toby out of Gillian’s life and then convinced Gillian that Toby didn’t love her, Gillian fucking Comes For Janet’s Whole Life.

Again, the Luidaeg is dear to my heart beyond words, so honestly the fact that she saved Toby all the way back in An Artificial Night by breaking Michael’s Ride like Janet broke Maeve’s, right down to singing the ballad of Tam Lin to hold the magic in place...not to sound like a little old white lady, but that shit is breathtaking, yo. Talk to me forever about how Toby is the first family the Luidaeg has loved and been loved by in a long time, about how the Luidaeg used the same ancient magic that destroyed her life to save this woman who wasn’t yet her favorite niece from the man who used to be her beloved brother, about how the Luidaeg’s entire life is about taking the skins of tragedies and making something new.

Anyway, on to non-Tam Lin things.  Gillian...honey...you’ve been so lied to by so many people.  Toby is the only parent who ever gave Gillian a choice in which life she wanted to live, and it’s so sad.  All Gillian focuses on in the blood memories Toby sees is how much her car represents freedom and safety and...oh honey.  Oh baby girl.  If Janet and Cliff aren’t careful, now that Gillian knows that they manipulated the truth about Toby to completely take her away from Gillian, she’s going to straight up buck their rules and leave.  (I...want Gillian to live with the Luidaeg?  The only full Selkie in history to have the blessing of the sea witch, living with both feet in Faerie and getting coffee with her mother on weekends, turning the full count of Small Children Who Adore The Luidaeg from one to two.  Let the Luidaeg be Gillian’s weird aunt.)

LET TOBY HAVE HER DAUGHTER BACK.  On Gillian’s terms, because Toby wouldn’t want it any other way, but God, just let them have a relationship.  Let Gillian meet someone who doesn’t have Jocelyn’s blind hero worship or the Luidaeg’s ingrained sense of honor and who will tell her that her mom, A, did not voluntarily leave her, and, B, is legitimately rad as fuck.  And then let them start with awkward weekly coffee dates that turn into an awkward dinner at Toby’s house that turns into a slightly less awkward trip to the movies or something and so on and so forth until they’re close and Gillian understands how much Toby loves her and Toby understands that sometimes it’s okay to push for a relationship.  Because Toby’s willing to do the work, but she’s not willing to push for the relationship because she believes Gillian doesn’t want her around, but Gillian only thinks that way because she believes Toby abandoned her, and the only way that vicious loop is going to change is if Toby actually pushes the boundaries for long enough to explain.

It’s so adorable how Toby thinks Quentin’s gonna be her last squire.  My boy’s going to be gone for two months before Toby comes back to the house with a baker’s dozen children and a mulish expression.  Within a hundred pages she goes from “I’m never having another squire because I’m so unfit for this” to “I should reopen Home and run it myself” and I just.  I love her so much.  She’s so dumb.  She has such a good heart and she’s so dumb.  I’d die for her.  Every fifteen pages in any Toby Daye book I just end up crooning “You’re so stupid, I love you so much” to the pages while Toby fails to notice, again, what an incredible person she is.  I’ve loved watching her grow so much, I’m getting weepy here.

OH MY GOD, AND THE NOVELLA?

HOLY SHIT, THAT JUST.  DESTROYED MY WHOLE SOUL.  EXACTLY EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED FROM A STORY ABOUT A NEW SELKIE.  I FEEL LIKE THIS GIVES A LOT OF SUPPORT TO MY HEADCANON THAT SELKIES HAVE TERRIBLE DREAMS ABOUT BEING CLUTCHED IN BLOODY HANDS WHILE A VOICE WEEPS FOR THEIR MOTHER IN THEIR EAR.  I WANT FIRTHA AND GILLIAN TO BE BEST FRIENDS.  I LOVE HOW DIFFERENTLY FIRTHA OBVIOUSLY TREATS GILLIAN, THE FIRST SELKIE IN HISTORY WHO DID NOT CHOOSE THIS.  I LOVE HOW MUCH ATTENTION IS GIVEN TO THE CHOICE THAT SELKIES MAKE, TO TAKE THE SKIN AND ALL IT CARRIES OR DIE.  

I LOVE SELKIES IN THIS UNIVERSE.  I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE LUIDAEG CALL IN THAT FUCKING DEBT.  HOLY SHIT.