#so. dont be normal abt intrusive thoughts. be respectful about them

[worfsbarmitzvah]

its crazy bc like. i Know that even the worst of my intrusive thoughts doesnt represent me. even when they occur in the most uncomfortable, offputting of situations. i KNOW it’s just my brain calling up whatever thing would be most horrifying to me at that moment. and yet i still feel like i cant talk about it bc of how other people who have never dealt with ocd would perceive it

[kingmystrie]

Idk its so weird how many people have a weird complex abt thoughts and feelings.

This is a long post so if you read it please read it in it's entirety, i do not want anything to be taken out of context. I don't want people who want to normalize harmful actions to feel comfortable around me and I dont want people needlessly fighting me either. It's rambly i go into tangents and i dont even know what this is about really.

Like your thoughts your brain dialouges have no effect on reality. You can't effect reality until you take action, the second that your take action you've effected reality.

This is why I get so upset when people focus on whether or not someone has "intent" to do harm when harm has already been done. They already did the thing, it being done proves they have the potential to do it again.

Another note is that someone actions do not reflect on their intent either, but anyone should know this anytime they said something online and other people couldnt decipher their tone. But also, your thoughts don't inherently mean you intend to do something. Like you can consider taking an action and imagine doing an action in detail and even want to do that action but not actually intend on doing that action even when you have the means to do so.

When i was a teenager i wanted to attack my peers, i considered attacking my peers and killing them, i imagined it in extreme detail and how i would do it, even wanted to do it at times, but i never did it because i also knew in my heart that in reality if i were to do it i would be insatisfied and hate myself for it.

Sexual thoughts arent an exception to this, the rhetoric of thoughts having to end in action to me, feels like an encouragement for people to act on their impulses. "If feeling like you want to do something is equivocated to actually doing the thing then you might as well do it anyways, right?"

I have seen time and time again people break way from the idea that their thoughs are as bad as actions only to fall into the tarpit that is "theres no way I could do such things!" and lose all their inhibitions. And I think it's in part because of the stress of having to manage both thoughts and actions simultaneously all the time without rest naturally grinds the psyche down into a brittle dust.

You get so worked up about social pressures and the games of respectability that you gain the urge to cut everything loose and become the worst version of yourself. And it's horrible! Because doing that would be awful and harmful. Its not worth hurting people just because you're hurting, ever.

Its never okay.

While I understand peoples aversion and frustrations of my nitpicking of this very very highly specific way people talk about desire, afterall people only ever talk about these things when someone took the actions to hurt another human being, i feel like it doesnt reflect the nuances of the human condition.

Especially considering victims of all kinds of traumas often have intrusive [unwanted] thoughts of causing harm onto others.

I hate making posts like this because it sounds like apologia, i want to make it clear here that what someone says and the art they make is also an action. Stories are things people read and can be effected by so when sharing them people need to do so in a careful manner.

I also think that the glorification and romanticisation of pain is a very real issue that has become deeply ingrained in our culture. I also think that people should be able to avoid media that they personally cannot handle, and that kids should not feel obligated to read or look at something that they don't want to. Period.

I dont think theres any topic thats too taboo for a story to cover though. I think the breadth of the human experience needs to be expressed, and the painful ones are the ones needed to be let out the most. What I worry is that in the process of trying to get rid of predators and people who actually intend to do harm we also end up hurting people who are just trying to recover from those same people.

I think we can get rid of those who intend to do harm from our communities without hurting such individuals, I dont think we have to compromise the mental wellbeing of survivors of abuse to keep our communities safe.

I just want people to choose their words wisely, because I don't think I have any different goals than the majority of people, but the discussions about art and what is acceptable has become highly tied to some weird social game and it's fucking killing me because I can't tell if anyone is actually trying to have a productive conversation or if they're just tryibg to get some kindof vindication or validation.

I don't think I'm right about anything. I think I'm stupid, I'm hurting and I'm scared and I'm angry at the world and I want things to be better. And i don't know how to make things better. But i know we can do better than this.

[dyketubbo]

yo.... been seein too many of em in my notifs reminder that i aint want any pro shipper mfs interacting w me, nor anyone who thinks its okay or excuses them. even if its to cope w trauma i dont agree w romanticizin shit like r/pe and inc/st, if youre doin it in a way where the message is that its fucked up i can respect that but jus full on writin shit like pedoph/l/a and sayin "its okay its so i can cope" while excusing it in the media itself i dont fuck with.

idc about calling myself an anti or whatever (though for the sake of being clear, yes, i am but also i think this is just a normal fuckin opinion to have) i just think that if youve gone through something shitty that you should find a better coping mechanism than romanticizin what you and others go through in media because "fiction doesnt effect reality" or some shit.

if you have to call your ships problematic then stop encouraging the problem. i know full well theres discomforting views on both sides and i dont agree w saying that you cant portray dark themes at all or that ppl are bad for having thoughts abt it, bc i do too, but encouraging people to normalize their experiences by putting them in media is.... not okay!! it isnt! and using *other* peoples characters for that is gross too, i hate it esp in fanmedia bc those arent your characters!! its gross to look at someone elses work, someone elses characters, and go "what if this had pedophilia? what if the siblings fucked? what if they were into beastiality, what if they were abusive, etc etc" esp if the media doesnt have traces of that.

theres a difference between healthily projecting and doing something that just encourages normalization of that kind of stuff (and yes, writing media of fucked up shit while acting like its okay in the media itself [again, not talking abt media where its acknowledged that its fucked up {and i dont mean like a pedophile going "oh i shouldnt be doing this" and going ahead anyways, thats disgusting} / where the victims heal] helps normalize the idea that its okay)

and in the end its frustrating to see ppl think that bc people are going "yo its not good to encourage the idea that this stuff is okay and 'coping' by exposing yourself over and over again and telling yourself that what happened was okay and valid isnt actually coping, its just getting more and more unhealthy" that means that everyone who says it thinks dark media shouldnt be explored at all or that survivors are gross people for having intrusive thoughts and trying to cope even if its not the best way to go about it. no it just means stop fucking romanticizing shit like pedophilia and stop allowing it to happen holy shit.

just because we have the option to click away/not see doesnt mean its not uncomfortable and gross as hell that its there in the first place!! if someone does something fucked up im gonna say thats fucked up it doesnt matter if i shouldnt have seen it in the first place, it being kept secret just makes it *worse*, acknowledging that you shouldnt do it and doing it anyways is *gross* and i cant believe this is controversial to say