#softnessfrommyheart

[ladyhearthkeeper]

Hi, I like your blog. I want to be a housewife when I get older but my mother tells me that no man wants to a woman to depend on him. Today a man wants you to work. So how do I start my journey of housewife preperation?

Good evening! Thank you for the compliment. Thank you for trusting me with this question!

I took a little time before replying because this isn’t easy to answer.

I don’t know how old you are but I can guess that you’re still pretty young (please don’t be offended if it’s not the case, I’m in my mid thirties and my soul is old so everyone feels young). It’s a good thing to think to question your path and what you want from your life. And it’s great that you’re talking about it with your mother. Do keep that up. :)

I think there are different types of men. Not all are drawn to a woman who wants to be a housewife. There are some who do but they are not necessarily good men. Some are good solid honest men who are ready to support a wife who chooses to be a housewife. Some never thought about it but might be drawn to it because of the woman they love.

But essentially, I think your journey to become a housewife shouldn’t start with what men want but with your own self. Focus on bettering yourself and in the right time you will attract the right man.

How do you prepare yourself to be a housewife?

Envision it. What kind of wife do you want to be? What kind of mother? What kind of neighbour? How will be your home?

Understand what you want and what you don’t want. Look at what it means to be a housewife and how it will fit your personality and your life. Know yourself and find out more about what it means to be a housewife by observing housewives in real life or online.

I’d say it’s important to start with having a solid education. Even if you’re not planning to choose a high power career, you never know what can happen. I think a well educated lady is essential for the upkeep of a good home and raising children. Choose an area that interest you and go from there.

Education is very very important to make you a well rounded human being. It doesn’t necessarily mean college (if you cannot afford it) though. It’s also good to have some professional training and experience in case your family needs financial support. Or in case you find yourself on your own.

You can also educate yourself on being  a housewife by reading books about housekeeping, homesteading, cooking, child-raising, among many other subject. I think there are many youtube channels dedicated to that but I prefer books.

Now, while you’re doing that, you can start also getting more involved in your home. You can take more responsibilities involving housekeeping, like for example : starting to make one meal for the family every week, or taking care of the laundry etc. Learn about these every day tasks that make a house a home. Start by taking care of all your own chores, and then start taking over those of the household. It depends on how the household you are in is like.

For me, the core of being a housewife is taking care of my family. Family may mean some day husband and children but until then (and even after that) your parents and siblings are your family. Find ways to take care of them (like the tasks mentioned previously.) No need to overdo :) just be present for them and make their living space a warm and safe place to grow in.

Nurturing is hard to explain as it comes from within and is particular to every woman. For some it’s making a healing tea when their loved one is sick, for others is to listen to your kids when they come home from a long day, for others (in believing household) it’s praying with your husband when his faith is shaky or teaching your kids how to pray.

Being a housewife is such a versatile but fundamental role in a family that I feel like I’m not saying enough.

You can also take up crafts that beautifies a home and make it more practical from sewing to painting ,knitting or even woodwork.

Now, this might not be what you’re looking for but for me it’s also key to embrace and develop your femininity. This is a whole other chapter. :)

There are many paths that lead to being a housewife. It really depend on the woman in that path. The whole practice of being a housewife also depends on the man you will later build a home with, with your own particularity, your culture, your country etc.

Think about it, educate yourself on the subject and then take small actions towards embodying this role. No need to make huge changes but little by little...

A lot more can be said but I think I’ll stop here. I’d be great if other housewives who have more experience than me could add more tips. :D

Did I answer your question? Don’t hesitate to ask more specific questions.

[ajokeformur-ray]

💞💞

💞 I love both your blog and your content

asdfghjkl;😭😭😭 thank you, angel! That’s so kind of youuu ~ ❤

what do you think of me

[imagine-all-the-elves]

Imagine being from our world, travelling to Middle-Earth and marrying Fingolfin.

Requested by: @softnessfrommyheart

Artist: Moimq

[dear-yandere]

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darling anon 1: Hi, I just wanted to say that I love your blog!!❤️

@softnessfrommyheart​: I LOVE your writing. I hope you hear many more compliments. 💖💖 You're extremely talented

ahhh thank you guys so much, it means the world to me !!!! was so tempted to keep these in my inbox forever 😭

[ladyhearthkeeper]

Are you a fan of lord of the rings? What's favorite character? Have you read the silmarillion?

Good morning or should I say Mae Govannen

I am a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings and Tolkien’s writings. I actually have a main blog in which I post more about Tolkien.

I’ve read most of Tolkien’s writing, even some of his scholarly works on middle English etc. But it has been a while since I’ve reread them so please don’t quiz me on them. :)

I find all Tolkien’s characters fascinating and many of them are very lovable. Aragorn keeps a special place in my heart as well as his ancestry. The dúnedain and the Númenirians. I also like very much Eomer (Karl Urban may have a role in this infatuation) but also the elves of Imladris. I also particularly like Elwing and Lúthien.

For many years, I’ve been writing a fanfic in french in which we travel with Aragorn in his journeys through Middle Earth after his departure of Rivendell.

I also love the love stories depicted in Tolkien’s story. Each of them express something beautiful. But of course, Elwing-Eärendil, Lúthien-Beren and Arwen-Aragorn are the most evocative of the strength of love.

I also like how Tolkien expresses the feminine archetype in his writing. Femininity isn’t seen as a weakness but a strength. Characters like Melian, Galadriel or even Gilraen show that power and might isn’t necessarily attached to brute force but something more subtle. This is what Eowyn learns when she goes from shieldmaiden to healer.

But the same can be said of male characters. Aragorn may have played s part in protecting Minas Tirith and Middle Earth but he is recognized as the Returning King for his healing hands.

Although Peter Jackson’s movies are beautifully done, I think it’s a pity they chose to depict Arwen as a weak character whereas in the appendices she is shown as the pillar that gives Aragorn strength to go through his journey. She hold on to hope and she reminds him of hope when he has to go through the path of the dead (with her banner) After all, she makes the greatest sacrifice of all for his sake.

... I think I got carried away.

Yes, I am a fan of Tolkien. I have read the Silmarillion. And I have many many favorite characters.

And you’re a fan too, right? :)

Thank you for asking.

[ladyhearthkeeper]

Tips to be more feminine

@softnessfrommyheart sent me an ask for tips on how to be more feminine and how to be more soft. Thank you for asking me. I feel deeply honoured.

I thought it would be more practical to answer in a proper post. So this post is about how to be more feminine. I will make a separate one on how to be more soft because although it’s related, it deserves a separate post.

Warning : This post is for women who are seeking to reclaim their femininity. If any part of this idea doesn’t appeal to you, please peacefully ignore this post and go on living your life however you choose to.

I believe this type of journey is specific to every woman who undertakes it. That’s why, I’d advise you to first start a journal.

This journal can be a tool to help you explore how these two concepts relate to you.

How to be more feminine

1) Start that journal in a pretty notebook with a nice pen. Start with the question “What does femininity means to me“. If you don’t like writing, you can stick pictures or quotes that defines it for you. You can even draw or whatever you need to express this idea.

2) Look around you and try to find an example of a feminine woman that you can find inspiration from. If you cannot find one, fiction or history can always help. I found some of mine in women of faith, in 19th century novels and turkish series. Your models of femininity may be completely different,

3) Look inside you and find your own feminine essence.  All women have it, it’s just expressed in a different way. Many of us repress it because we have been taught that femininity is a bad thing. Only you can find it within you and then find your very own feminine essence. Once it starts flowing again, it will be easier to express this femininity. You may need to heal that part of you that was battered with the aggressive view of what a woman should be in our modern society. You might a familiar friend within you that desperately needs to embraced back by you. I found the book ‘Women who Run with Wolves’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estés helpfiul to find my way back to my own feminine essence. Your femininity is already inside of you, you just need to set it free.

4) Although I don’t think appearance is the most important thing in the world, it does play a role. Dress in a more feminine way and you will feel more feminine. Once more, it has to be true to your own feminine essence. For me, it helped to forgo wearing pants and only wearing dresses. But this might not appeal to you so try to find your own version of what is feminine.

5) Use those role models of femininity to refine your behaviour. I like the idea of composure, poise, manners and etiquette. I think it’s what makes a woman a feminine lady. It’s all about the way you move, speak, behave and the beauty of your heart. There are many books written on the subject but it’s even better to find a living breathing example of it. You might feel inclined to change some habits. But don’t force it, gentle change is better.

6) I’ve noticed that many women enrich their femininity with the practice of feminine occupations. You have to find which one speaks to you and build on that. It doesn’t necessarily have to be labelled as something feminine (it’s often misleading) but it should be something that makes you feel feminine. It can be something like needlework, painting, gathering flowers, singing, dancing... There are so many choices. I’m sure you can find something that suits you.

The whole process isn’t about changing yourself, but unlocking that part already inside of you.

Well, I think that will be enough for femininity for this post. If you want to find more ideas, you can search my blog under the tag ‘how to be a lady’ or ‘traditional femininity’. There are also many wonderful bloggers here who have beautiful things to share on this subject.