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stargazingjinwrites · 4 years

Text

-> pairing: idol!namjoon x songwriter!reader

-> genre: fluff, smut, angst (just a tad), humor

-> warnings: language, sexual content, fingering + oral (f receiving), slightly dom!namjoon,

-> word count: 5.2k

-> part 25 of the social media au solidarity

-> a/n: aaaah, here it finally is!! this is the part that i got up in my head when i first started to play around with solidarity, and im really nervous because this is a written part and i haven’t actually written anything before… so i hope you go easy on me, and most of all, i hope you enjoy it! let me know what you think!

-> summary: Seeing him standing there you weren’t even sure why you were mad at him. Hoseok dropping those verbal bombs at you had been too much, and learning that Namjoon might have been a part of it all was the last drop for you. But did Namjoon really have something to do with it?

But seeing him, standing there, all of those thoughts went away.

<- previous ~ masterlist found in bio ~ next ->

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It felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you had forgotten how do be a basic human being.

You looked through the peeping hole on the door and you saw Namjoon standing there, nervously fiddling with his hands. Why was he standing there?

You knew why, but you still wondered.

While you hadn’t talked to him for a few days, you still had wanted to. Ever day your thoughts had gone to the man that was now merely feet away from you, and every day you had wanted to talk to him. Yell at him. Maybe even kiss him.

Looking through the peeping hole again you took at better look at him. He had a black snapback on, covering his brown locks. He had a simple white t-shirt on and his hand where now in the pockets of the black jeans that he was waring and oh my god he looked so good.

He really had no idea what to do with his hands again because as soon as he had put them in his pockets, he took them up again.

Seeing him standing there you weren’t even sure why you were mad at him. Hoseok dropping those verbal bombs at you had been too much, and learning that Namjoon might have been a part of it all was the last drop for you. But did Namjoon really have something to do with it?

But seeing him, standing there, all of those thoughts went away.

”Please open the door,” the man said quietly, somehow knowing you would hear him. ”I know you’re there.”

Could you open the door? Were you ready to open a new one when you had just closed another?

”You don’t have to say anything Y/N, just let me talk.” He sounded so sad, so wounded. ”Please.”

You closed your eyes, resting your forehead on the door and considering his words. Trying to control your beating heart were no use as it hammered in your chest at the thought of seeing him in person. You hadn’t realized what an impact Namjoon had made on you, and how better he had made you as a human being. How happy he had made you.

Without thinking and without batting an eye you opened your eyes again and stepping back half a step from the door and you unlocked the door and opened it, pressing your lips together as you faced the man in front of you. His eyes widened in chock almost as he hadn’t though you were actually going to open it and he swallowed hard, and you could see how nervous he was.

”What do you want, Namjoon?” You sounded harsh, but you still hadn’t decided how you felt about the whole thing, but you weren’t gonna show him that. But taking Jin’s words in consideration maybe you could let him explain himself.

Maybe.

”I want you to hear my side of this, and when I’m done you can decide for yourself what you want to do,” he said, slowly gaining confidence again. You could still tell he was nervous because he hadn’t stopped fiddling with his hands.

Reconsidering his words, you slowly nodding at him, stepping aside and letting him into Taehyung’s place.

He gave you a small smile as a thank you and walked past you, stepping into the apartment. You closed the door with a small thud, and you slowly turned around, leaning towards the door again and facing him.

Namjoon made you nervous in a way you didn’t know was possible, and you were unsure of what you should do with yourself.

Should you stay where you were? Go over to the couch? Go into the kitchen? Having Namjoon here this close made your brain short-circuit and you wanted to laugh at yourself over the effect this man had over you. Especially now.

”Do- do you want something to drink?” You heard yourself say and you cursed yourself for sounding so dumb.

Namjoon let out a small chuckle. ”No, I’m good,” he said while he turned around to look at the place. ”Damn, Taehyung’s apartment looks really nice.”

”How did you know where he lives?” You ask.

”Oh,” you hear him say as he raised his arm and he scratched his neck as he turned back around to look at you. A nervous trait you recognized all too well. ”Jin actually called me yesterday.”

”He what?!” You ask and you feel yourself slowly losing your temper over your best friend.

”Yeah, he said you would be okay with it, but seeing your reaction just now I guessed he lied about that.” He gave you a sad smile and you quickly shook your head.

”No! It’s not that, it’s just that I’m gonna kill him,” you said with a mean smile. ”I should’ve known better that he would do something like this.”

”He clearly set us up, huh?”

”Yeah, it’s so typical Jin I’m more mad at myself for not realizing sooner,” you said with a soft chuckle. You see Namjoon returning your smile and his dimples makes an appearance.

You could just melt on the spot.

”Even without Jin’s help, I would’ve talked to you sooner or later,” you said to him and you could see a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

”Yeah?” He said in a small voice.

”Yeah,” you replied. ”I just needed some time. I’m not sure if I still need more time or not.”

”I don’t blame you,” he said with a small shrug.

”You don’t?“

”No, it was kind of a dick move of me for doing what I did,” he said in all honestly and you swallowed hard. Here it went.

”Do you maybe wanna sit down?” You ask, pointing towards the couch.

”Oh boy,” he whispered under your breath, making you almost miss it. ”Sure, why not.”

You give him a small nod as you both walk towards the couch. Jungkook’s UNO game is still on the table, along with a bowl of chips and too many bottles of beer and cider for you to count. You hadn’t had so much to drink as you still felt uneasy over the entire situation, and you were glad that you hadn’t. This wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have while intoxicated.

Namjoon sat at the end of the couch, and you on the other end. You looked down at your fingers that were nervously touching the hem of your shorts because you really didn’t know what else to do or what to say.

”So,” he starts and you finally look up to meet his eyes. He gives you a small smile, and then takes a deep breath to mentally prepare himself. He tilts his body so his facing you while resting his arm on the back ouch the couch. ”I guess I owe you an explanation.”

”You really do,” you say, maybe a bit more harsh than you intend to. But who could blame you when you were still hurt?

”That’s fair,” he says and he clears his throat. ”Back when Hoseok and you started dating, I had no idea what he was doing. I though he genially liked you because that was he said to me and when I looked at the two of you, he looked genuinely happy. It wasn’t until around two years later when I found out that it all was a lie.”

You clenched your jaw and you look down again, not wanting him to see how hurt you were over it all. Hearing the backstory about the man you though who loved you for three years made you feel bad all over again but you kew it was something that you needed to hear. ”And then?” You mumble and you can see in the corner of your eyes that he nods. ”We went out drinking, and he let it slip that he didn’t care for you they way that I thought, and I guess that was when I should’ve said something. But he told me that we would end it with you soon enough and that he was just gonna find the right time and place to do so.

”You have to understand Y/N, you and I weren’t close as you know, and we had barely met each other, so I didn’t think much of it. The time passed and Hoseok said that the two of had found the spark again and I was happy for the two of you. He was my beast friend and he was really lucky to have girl like you in his life.”

You meet his eyes for the first time since he started talking and you knew you couldn’t hide your watery eyes. You saw his hand twitch as he wanted to raise it, to do something with it, but he stopped himself doing so.

”You have to understand, Y/N, I had no idea that it were so bad, and I trusted that he knew what he was doing. I should’ve known better and I should’ve said something and I didn’t and I blame myself for it and I am so sorry for all of it and—”

”Stop,” you cut him off sliding closer to him to put your hand on his knee that was closest to you. ”There was no way that you could’ve known that. I know that if you had known, you would’ve said something.”

”You do?” He sounded so small as he looked at your hand on his knee, not daring to meet your eyes.

”I do.” You were confident in that fact. ”You have a big heart, Namjoon.”

He takes a deep breath as he continues. ”When you wrote to me after Hoseok broke up with you, I was planning on saying something to you then. But you were so hurt and I couldn’t do that to you, not when you were already hurting.”

You felt yourself nod and you stroked Namjoon’s knee in a comfort, making sure that he knew that you were still listening. Some of the stuff he had told you, you could almost figure out yourself because that’s just who Namjoon was.

”Then I got to know you, and you seemed… Happier, I guess. Yet again, I couldn’t lay that on you like that, not when you were getting better,” he rubbed his hand over his face as he sighed, fearing what was to come. ”Then I got to know you.”

You hand on his knee stopped and you met his eyes, feeling your heart hammering in your chest. Your eyes met his and you felt a blush creeping up on your cheeks. The look he just gave you was far from innocent. Did your eyes deceive you or was it warm and almost loving?

”Yeah?” You asked in a breath.

”Hoseok can go and fuck himself for doing what he did to you, because he missed out on one of the most caring, warm hearted and beautiful woman in the world, and I’m glad that he did because I got to experience all of that instead,” he said with a smile behind his eyes and he slowly sank his hand down to put it over yours that was resting on his knee.

”Namjoon…” You started, not knowing what to say.

”It’s true!” He exclaims and he squeezes your hand, hard. ”You have no idea of how amazing you are.”

”Me, or just my writing?” You ask, taking your own hand back.

There it was, the big issue.

Namjoon audibly swallows and he takes a deep breath, preparing yourself. ”I managed to finish the album, and it was supposed to come out today but Hoseok beat me to it with his album, so mine had to wait a few more weeks. It was going to be a surprise but there is no need to keep it a secret anymore.”

Namjoon grabs his phone from his pocked and he unlocks it and you remove his hand that was resting on him. You see him tapping on the screen, and then he turns it around to show you.

On the screen you can see an album cover that you assume is his unreleased album. The cover is taken from indoors, although it’s taken towards a window where you can see the the setting sky outside. The sky is beautiful while it contains of multiple colors like orange, pink, blue and a hint of purple. There are also two hands, reaching for each other in front of the camera and between the window, making you only see the outline and the shadow of the hands. Across the entire picture the word ’Solidarity’ was written.

You recognized the picture immediately.

”That’s the one we took?” You ask in a small voice, pulling the phone closer to you so you can inspect the picture closer, afraid that you were gonna miss something. ”Wait…” You say as you zoom in on the corner.

”’An album produced and made by Kim Namjoon,” he says as you’re reading the fine text, ”and written together with the help of Y/N.’” You look up at him in chock, unable to form any words. He had put your name on his album as well.

”Without you, this album wouldn’t be possible, and I wanted to surprise you with it. I was going to make a whole spectacle about it, but I guess Hoseok beat me to it.”

”What do you mean?”

”I could never use you, never in a million years. What Hoseok did was wrong and awful, and if I had known that he used you for your writing I would have given him a piece of my mind. Yet he turned the whole thing around and pinned it on me,” he shook his head in disbelief, taking off his cap and running his free hand through his hair and then putting the cap back on.

”So all this time you had this planned?” You asked him, still looking at the album cover on his screen.

”Pretty much,” he said while shrugging.

”I don’t know what to say.”

”You don’t have to say anything, just listen,” he answers and taking the phone back from you, making you look up at him and meeting his eyes. Unsure of what to do with your hands, you go back to touching the hem oh your shorts. ”When we became friends, it was like something had clicked in my life. Never have I experienced a friendship like the one you and I share and I would never do anything to compromise that.”

You bite your lip and you see his eyes quickly glance down to the action and then he as quickly again glances up. Your heart was beating impossible fast you was pretty sure Namjoon could hear it too.

”By gaining you, I also gained my own solidarity. I found myself by finding you, and Y/N…” He moved closer to you, your legs now touching. ”By finding you, I also found the person I am madly, and deeply in love with.”

You inhaled sharply, not being prepared to what he said and you looked at him with big eyes. Your chest were heaving as you could barely breathe and you tried to open your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

”Namjoon I-” you started but he soon cut you off. ”No please, let me finish. I understand if I messed up any chance that we might have had and I am so, so sorry for everything, but I couldn’t do this without letting you know how I’m truly feeling. I am so in love with you it physically hurts me, and if you don’t feel the same I will walk out the door and I will never bother you again, but I need to hear you say it. Just say the word and you never have to see me again.” ”You really are dumb,” you say while you try everything you have to contain your smile. ”Or maybe I am the dumb one. I should’ve let you explain everything when it happened, and not draw my own conclusions.” ”I don’t blame you though,” he says quietly. ”But,” you continue and scooting closer to him. ”You probably are the dumbest one for not seeing how deeply and madly in love I am with you too.” You grin with your entire face, and it takes a few seconds for Namjoon to catch up and when he realizes what you just said. ”You are?” He asks with a dumb smile on his face, a dumb smile that shows his dumb and perfect dimples. ”Unfortunately so.” ”Oh shut up,” he says as he surges towards you, catching your lips between his own. His lips crashes against your and he cradles your neck his his large hand and you just melt into him. His lips are soft as they meet yours and you moan into the feeling of him. You tilt your head slightly, pushing your own lips harder against him and you take a fistful of his shirt in your hand and you pull him closer to you. His free hand wonders over your naked legs and sends shivers all across your body, making you mewl as his hand continue to wander. You needed more. So, so much more. Without giving a heads up, you break free from the kiss and for half a second Namjoon gives you a questioning look. You smirk at him as you then straddles his lap. ”Jesus christ,” he mumbles as his hands grips your hips to steady you and you can feel yourself grind down on him, feeling something twitch beneath you, sending a wave of arousal shooting straight down to your core. ”You will be the death of me.” Your lips meet his again and it’s more urgent now, more feral as you continue to grind down on him. His hands leaves bruises on your skin and you couldn’t care less. His fingertips touches your skin underneath your shirt and you break away from the kiss to breathe. Namjoon’s lips finds a spot behind your ear and you lean your head back, letting him gain easier access and taking in the feeling as he bites and licks down your throat, making you letting out a small whimper. ”Namjoon…” you breathe and then his hand slid underneath your shirt, leaving fire behind in his touch. ”You’re so goddamned beautiful, babygirl,” he murmurs against your skin as he nibbles at your collarbone, making you press your core against his crotch as the nickname that leaves his lips does things to you. ”You like that, huh?” His lips travel up again, sucking hard at a particular spot on your throat and you’re almost certain it’s gonna leave a mark. Good, you think. You want the world to know that you’re his and that he is yours. ”You like it when I call you babygirl, huh babygirl?” He asks and you feel yourself shudder under his words. He grabs your chin and tilt it back towards him so that he can look at you. His eyes are dark with lust and you swallow hard. ”Yeah, I— I really do,” you answer him and he grins at you. ”Let’s see what else you like,” and as he says that, he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and he bites down, making you moan out in pleasure. Oh, god. He kisses you hard, and then before you know it, moves away from you again and you let out a small whimper as you misses his heat. He grabs ahold of your thighs and pulls you closer to him and you shut your eyes as you can feel his hardened length through his jeans. He pushes you back so that you’re laying down in the couch and he proceeds to hover above you. ”I’m gonna make you feel so good, but we don’t have much time before the others come back so we’re gonna have to be quick,” he comments as he’s kissing your calf, looking up at you through hooded eyes. ”You think you can do that for me?” You nod ferociously as he continues to travel up your leg with his lips, and you close your eyes and moan at the feeling. He then proceeds to kiss the inside of your knee and you unknowingly move your pelvis up, desperate to feel something. His free hand travel up your other leg, caressing your thigh and then moving up on your stomach, pushing your shirt up so that he can feel you. ”So smooth,” he mumbles, nibbling at your very sensitive skin, groping your breast which makes you almost see white. He moves up more and you grab his cap and throws is to the side and you grab his hair with your fists and you tugg, making him growl, something you weren’t at all prepared for. The feeling of his lips on your skin on your thigh combined with the feeling of him touching your breasts were almost too much. His lips were now biting and kissing the side of your thigh, slowly, oh so slowly moving up towards your now drenched core, making you want and need more. ”More, Namjoon, I, oh god, I need more,” you whimper and he bites down hard, you feeling the tip of his nose at the hem of your shorts. ”Be patient, babe,” he says and then he moves down the hand that was working your breast to the button of your shorts, quickly unbuttoning it. ”I can’t wait to ruin you.” Pulling your shorts and panties down in one swift motion, you gasp as the cold air hits your drenched cunt. You can feel yourself dripping, and you almost feel embarrassed about, but hearing Namjoon let out a loud groan stops your thoughts. ”Shit babe you smell so good, can’t wait to taste you,” he says into your core, and before you know it, his fingers is gliding in between your labia, gathering the slick wetness of your pussy, spreading it up and down. ”Oh god,” you croak out, grinding up to meet his fingers. He grabs your hip, pushing you down to the couch as he swirls his two fingers around your clit, making you see stars. ”That’s right baby, let me make you feel good, okay?” You can feel his breath on your cunt as he talks, making you moan in anticipation. His slick fingers leaves your cunt and you look down to see that he pulls the fingers that were on you into is mouth and he sucks, making you open your moth with a loud pop. That was probably the hottest thing you’ve ever witnessed in your entire life. ”Jesus christ babe you taste so much better than I imagined,” he says while groaning, twirling his fingers around his tongue. ”Can I taste you for real this time? Can I baby?” You nod eagerly and he gives you a smirk that sends a wave of arousal down to your dripping cunt and you pull his hair, making him moan. Namjoon licks a long stride along your wet core and you absolutely melt into his touch. You’re hot all over and you mewl into him, grinding your cunt up into his mouth, craving more. The sensation over your sensitive bud sets your world on fire and you feel yourself pulling his head closer to your cunt. His lips swirl over your clit and then he sucks and bites gently against it and suddenly it feels almost too much and yet not enough. ”Y-yes, right t-there,” you croak out. ”Feels so good.” This seems to lead him on and your body jumps at the sensation when he suddenly starts to hum against your clit and the vibration makes it all feel so much better. His tongue delves between your folds, moving in a slow, tantalizing rhythm and now and then he stops at your clit to swirl and tug at your clit, making waves of arousal shoot through your entire body. Every time you feel something slowly build up in the lower part of your stomach, he goes back to licking between your folds. ”Stop teasing already,” you command and you feel him chuckle, sending vibrations through your dripping cunt again. Gasping at the sensation you feel him pulling more attention to your clit, making you almost see white. You feel it building up, the coil winding up in your core as you feel an orgasm is about to come. Suddenly he puts two fingers into your pussy and you immediately clench around him. He’s stretching your out and then curling his fingers up just at the right angle and you can feel your climax being impossible close. ”Come for me, love, I can feel you being close,” he murmurs into your cunt and then he sucks hard at your clit and suddenly you see stars as your orgasm hits you like nothing you’ve ever felt before. He rides your orgasm, his fingers milking every last bit of it while he’s sucking up your juices. Your chest is heaving up and down as you try to catch your breath after that mind blowing orgasm he just provided you and you slowly open your eyes to look down at him, seeing him smiling up at you. ”God Namjoon, that was absolutely amazing,” you breathe out with a soft smile on your lips and he’s responding with an equally soft smile, making his dimples appear. ”Come here.” You tug him up towards you and you give him a passionate kiss, tasting yourself on him. ”That’s so hot,” he mumbles in-between kisses and you can’t help to laugh. ”We’re not done yet,” you say as you begin to work on the buttons on his jeans, but then he suddenly stops you. ”I’m afraid we are done for this time, love,” he says and you pout at him. ”But I want to feel you inside me Joon, I want to feel your cock buried inside my cunt,” you groan, leaning forward as you take his ear between your teeth and you bite down, earning a moan out of him. ”As much as I want that,” he pants, ”I’m pretty sure your friends will be back soon and as much as I love you, I don’t want to share that part of you with the world.” You lean your head back and you laugh. Not because that was particularly funny, but because you were so goddamned happy. Namjoon grabs your panties and your shorts for you, and you swiftly put them back on and you two lean back into the couch. His cap had found its way back onto his head, hiding the mess of his hair that you were the culprit of. You lean into his chest, him hugging you from behind and you snuggle closer to him. ”So,” you begin, smiling to yourself. ”So,” he answers, pinching your side, making you yelp in surprise and then you let out a small laugh. ”Provide me a few more orgasms like that and you’re completely forgiven.” ”Is that so?” He murmurs, nuzzling his lips into your neck, making you hum as an answer. ”I think I can manage that.” ”Don’t get all cocky on me now, Joon.” ”But I can get cocky in you, right?” He says, biting the small part behind your ear, making you jump. ”Stop it,” you says, swatting a hand at him. He laughs at you and he pulls you closer and he kisses your cheek. ”You know I love you, right?” He asks, suddenly turning serious. You turn in his grip so that you can look him in the eyes. ”I know babe, and you know that I love you too, right?” He gives you a dimpled smile as he nods, kissing you on the lips. The kiss was different from those before as this was filled with love and adoration. You wanted to put every affection you had into the kiss, and it felt like he did the same. ”And you know,” you say as the two of you part, breathing heavy, ”you’re my solitude as well.” Namjoon opened his mouth about to answer, as he was cut off at the door suddenly swinged open. ”I hope you two kissed and made up but that you are fully dressed and that you didn’t ruin any of my furniture!” Taehyung yells out as he walks into through the door. His eyes lands on the two of you and his face breaks out into the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. ”I fucking knew it!” ”Hyung, calm down!” You heard Jungkook’s voice behind him and then you saw his face pop up behind the older man. ”You two okay?” He asks, walking past Tae and up to you, sitting at the other end of the couch. ”We are,” you answer, receiving a smile from the younger man. ”Tae, I thought I told you to give them some more time, I swear to god if you interrupted anything I will—”, you hear the voice of your best friend before you see him, and suddenly he’s standing in the doorway, breathing hard almost as he had ran up all of the stairs. ”Jin calm down!” You say, laughing at his surprised face as he sees you and Namjoon cuddling. ”Me and my boyfriend are just perfect.” ”Boyfriend, huh?” Namjoon whispers in your ear, making you giggle. ”You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” you said, grinning up at him. ”I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied and presses his lips softly on your. ”You guys are disgusting,” Taehyung says, fake gagging at the sight of the two of you. ”Be nice, Tae!” Jimin says ad he appears behind Jin, closing the door behind him. ”I think they’re cute. And I always have.” ”You’re too sweet, Jimin,” you reply and you look up at Namjoon and you catched him winking at Tae. ”If you’re not nice I won’t tell you which furniture we ruined,” the man sitting behind you says and you choke on your own spit. ”Joon!” You say, laughing at him in disbelief and you can see the color in Taehyung’s face disappear. ”Who want margaritas?!” You hear Jin say from the kitchen, clearly trying to break the tension in the room. ”Oh, I do!” Jimin says and he walks into the kitchen to join Jin, completely oblivious to what just had been said. ”If they have done the dirty though I will end them,” Taehyung mutter beneath his breath, making both you and Namjoon laugh ”Hey, Y/N,” Jungkook says beside you and you turn your head to face him. ”You’re happy right? He makes you happy?” You look at at Namjoon, giving him a smile in which he replied with on of his famous, dumb dimpled smile and you can’t help to laugh. ”I really am.” ”Good, because you won’t be any longer when I beat your ass in Mario Kart!”

#bts social media au #namjoon x reader #bts smut #namjoon smut #bts x reader #bangtan x reader #solidarityau #mywriting

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