#some of these were doodled as responses to story questions and responses on Instagram lol

[chibishortdeath]

Wow no way me living up to my username and drawing in a chibi style whoah—

[piper-dreams]

It feels weird to say our team was forged out of spite. There’s something about wanting to prove someone — or the world you can do anything you set your mind to — its fuel for something great. And , it’s in a way, where we began.

My name is Nick , and this is my new partner in crime, Piper. I am on the autistic spectrum , I have GAD, Major depressive disorder, ADD , PTSD, and the cherry on top? Agoraphobia. (I’m just a mess lol ) I’ve always struggled with social anxiety , but in the last few years it has gotten so much worse. To me, leaving the house most days feels like a death wish. People like me get gay bashed. People like me get beaten for being in the wrong bathroom. It doesn’t feel like I was built to be in society. My brain works a little bit different you know?

Luckily , I have a family who love me, and friends who care about me with their whole hearts.

After the passing of a childhood dog , a boxer mix , i missed having a big dog in the house. I missed her boxer hugs that always seemed to quell my nerves. I turned to a good friend and asked for their opinion on how to find a good breeder. Long story short, I have a sphynx cat who came to me with Pneumonia and the Breeder blamed me for it . To say I was wary was an understatement. They told me to look through AKC snd recommended some Facebook groups to me, but there were so many things to look through and nowhere to start. I reached out to a few people , but was met with no replies for weeks (I’ve still not gotten any back lol , I understand , breeders have busy lives , and they don’t owe me anything ! )

While waiting for responses , my partner (who I will refer to as tea) hooked me up with a part time job as a personal assistant for a doctor friend of the family. It was then I met her dog Bear, a Bernadoodle— which I had never heard of before. Bear stole my heart instantly with his abundantly sweet personality. Being close to him was like a balm on my nerves. I fell in love. I asked my boss about his breeder and she raved about her. All of the boxes I’d ever heard to look for in breeding — she met. Hand raised , well socialized puppies with genetically tested parents. She had a goal for her puppies - to be good companion dogs with sweet temperaments , but with intelligence being a driving factor. My boss had spent so many years vetting out an amazing breeder. And was so excited to give me her information and a glowing recommendation l.

Excited — I went to my friend and was immediately shut down. I was yelled at and chewed out for wanting a doodle. And that doodles are inherently unable to be ethically bred. That if I wanted a poodle mix, I should look for a purebred poodle. They went off on me. Demanded I give them the breeder’s info— but being overwhelmed by their reaction — I wouldn’t give it to them. They’d missed the point - i wasn’t looking for a bernadoodle - I was looking for someone I could trust. I was looking for someone who would respond to my questions and make me feel safe.

After this, that friend stopped speaking to me. I continue to watch their journey on Instagram. There was a fire they lit that day. That spite I mentioned before. That desire to prove them wrong , that even though my dream dog was a mixed breed, they were still going to be valid. I just wanted a companion. I didn’t need them to be a perfect trick dog. I decided no matter what they said - I was going to get one of these big soft dogs who had made me feel safe for the first time in so long.

On December 17th, the breeder posted a picture of their new litter.

I inquired if there were any open spots , doubting there would be one. My eyes gravitated towards the little dark one , but I knew that one would be taken. She wasn’t , quite the contrary — she was the only one left. I put my deposit down that day and so it began. My obsession with learning everything I could. I found a trainer in our area who teaches with positive reinforcement methods , and fell in love with working with my senior dog and my moms younger small dog. My old beagle found his calling in scent work and I’d taught my moms reactive yorkie mix more tricks in a week than he’d known his whole life. I soaked up anything I could to get me ready for my new puppy.

Then ,through a friend , I found out about psychiatric service dogs . With my myriad of mental health problems — suddenly — there seemed to be an answer and what was better ? Through the constant updates from the breeder , my puppy seemed perfect for the fit. The first moment I held her in my arms, I knew. She was the one.

I’ve only had Piper four days , but I have a pipe dream. I have a goal for us , to train her to help me navigate this world. To help me feel safe. The trainer I’ve been working with has agreed to apprentice me , so I can learn the craft of dog training, and she’s going to help me teach Piper to be the best she can be. My heart is so full of love and excitement for this beautiful girl. She’s already learned so much … and I know we have a long journey ahead of us. And I’m ready . I’m so ready to take on every challenge and prove that we can, as a team 💖