#some of this dialouge made me giggle jordan is saur funny

[poppy-metal]

cannot think about the wedding night with mafia!jordan or I'll simply pass out with overwhelming lust. btw.

please you're so terrified because you know you're meant to have sex and people in the mafia are so grossly obsessed with marriage and the semantics about it - needing to know jordans taken your virginity.

you're shocked when jordan takes one look at you curled up and trembling on one side of the king sized bed and just rolls their eyes. "I'm not gonna fuck you, churchmouse. fucking relax, shit."

you'd be more flustered at their crude words if you weren't so suprised by the meaning of them. unfurling your legs and feeling worry slide through you. "but..." you remember all the talks your mama gave you, "but its expected!"

jordan, in fem!form now, shrugs out of their suit jacket - and you quickly avert your eyes as they undress.

"yeah, I'm not into forcing myself onto women, though. n'with the way you are - your pussy would probably snap my dick in half anyway."

you look over then, flushing a little when you catch a glimpse of their tits - flushed nipples and, you think a little dazed, pretty - before they're yanking a black tshirt over their head.

you shake your thoughts away and furrow your brows, "snap - oh, i dont have teeth down there or anything! my mama showed me a book on vaginas one time - I'm, uh." you look down at the blanket. "im built to take you - in um. in your other form, of course. you obviously couldn't take my virginity as a woman."

you say this so confidently jordan snorts. looks at you like you're stupid.

"i know how vaginas work, idiot. i have a cunt." again with the vulgar language. "and no, you wouldn't cut my dick in half, but pussies are dry and tight as hell when you're not turned on. it would be fucking miserable for us both. and-"

they smirk now, pulling back their side of the covers and sliding in, keeping a healthy distance from you. they slide out their iPhone, not looking at you as they start texting before continuing on -

"i could totally take your virginity as a woman. I'd be offended if i didn't know you were raised as a fucking nun."

you blink. "you.... but... sex requires - penatration-"

jordan, again within looking up, raises one hand and wiggles their fingers. you jerk back, scandalized.

"you'd! but - that's not what i meant. i mean. typically. b- between a man and a woman - theres a." god, the earth should swallow you up. "p-penis..."

jordan looks up at you then. looks at you for so long you squirm on the sheets.

in jordans mind - they're thinking about how ridiculous this conversation is. how sheltered are you? to think sex as only a means of penis and vagina penatration is fucking sad - though, they do think about it, splitting your virgin cunt open on their dick, that kind of sex definitely isn't bad - and they consider opening their drawer and showing you their 8 inch black dildo and accompanying harness, telling you all about how if you wanted a cock so badly, then yeah, they could still fuck you as a woman, but they know that'd probably make you fall of the bed or pass out from sheer shock alone.

the thought is funny, you're already so worked up. but you've had enough earth shattering information thrown at you for one day, they think.

"uh huh." they say plainly. "whatever - look. its not happening tonight, either way. I'll just tell them we're waiting to make it special or some shit, so you can stop looking at me like im going to assault you."

you relax a little. "o - okay."

jordans eyes return to their phone. texting cate about what a fucking joke this all is. god, they want to be high.

"but - will we - eventually -" you start up again. "i mean. we'll need an heir...."

ugh. 'this bitch is talking about me being a baby daddy already.' they text cate.

"cross that bridge when we come to it. trust me, churchmouse. if i can avoid touching you for as long as fucking possible - I'll do it."

little do they know not so long from now, just the thought of not touching you will make them want to pull their hair out.