#some of those people were annoying as shit anyway abd a select few are on my shitlist forever. which could be an entire nother post lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redhotarsenic · 4 months

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It’s so fucked that the main source of unease I felt building up over the past several months was me feeling pressured to perform femininity to be seen as desirable to other people. It was never ever said said out loud in that space but I could FEEL it and I never knew until it was pointed out to me.

#it’s so agonizing to want to purposely appear desirable and never feeling like you’ll measure up #compared to everyone else #because of eurocentric beauty standard bullshit #like unironically a giant portion of those people in there were white/white passing/fell nearly within those lines #and it was fucking with my head so so bad. because I don’t have ‘dainty faerie like’ (heavy air quotes) facial features #a good portion of what exacerbated the problem is that I have a very good feeling that most of how those people are acting #or how they’re trying to appear physically #is them trying extremely hard to look sexually attractive to that individual #now mind you I’m sure that isn’t all of them but fuck #feels like shit too when you’re very much brushed past 80% of them time on the rare occasions you take a selfie #for the ‘pretty boy with socially favored facial features’ (even heavier air quotes here)#it’s for the best that I’m not in there anymore #some of those people were annoying as shit anyway abd a select few are on my shitlist forever. which could be an entire nother post lmao #and believe me that’s a big fuckin deal. do you know how hard it is for me to outright have vehement hatred towards people??#im not even trying to appear all angelic and pure n shit here I just have a hard time not trying to think positively of people #something something people pleasing tendencies adjacent shit #ESPECIALLY because someone from that space went outta their way to harass my friend. as far as I’m concerned the majority is gutter trash

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