#some of y’all are so pretentious it’s unreal

[claudiaeparvier]

some of y’all really need to learn how to shut up and keep your shitty, passive aggressive comments to yourselves.

[puthyflapps]

Idk about anyone else but by all means please go off in excruciating detail about your shoni thoughts and ideas because it's an absolute pleasure to read. Honestly I could your little drabbles and headcanons all day. Shoni is pretty much all that's consuming me these days so I can never get enough

Shoni is also consuming me 24/7 at this point and you are my only fan 🫶🏻 everyone else is basically like

Anyways, I go through waves with these ideas. Now, I think the main thot that has been circling around in my head has been a band au. Ever since Stand Atlantic dropped their new album and Neck Deep released a new song and I backslid into my TSSF era, I’ve been like obsessed with the idea of Toni in a pop punk band.

I’ve read a few band/singer fics and, feel free to read this with the most pretentious voice you can muster up because I’m aware of how it sounds but, some of y’all don’t know what pop punk/punk rock/rock music is and that hurts me. I love the stories, the fics are great and incredible and amazing. It just takes me out seeing some of the song choices but like I get it, I guess. Not everyone is into the whole heavy guitar screaming about how you hate your dad and your hometown thing. Y’all might’ve left your emo phase but I never did baby 🧍🏻‍♀️🤩

Plus, I am just personally turned on by the idea of Toni on stage yelling at the crowd to open the fucking pit up. Meanwhile, Shelby who is definitely not a part of this scene and did not dress appropriately for a concert like this is left kind of staring around in confusion because wtf is the “pit”?

Also this picture gives me such music vid vibes. It’s unreal. Like she lit looks like she’s screaming some lyrics that’ll have me wanting to crash the car™️

[daydadahlias]

JayJay, my babe, may i inquire: 4, 9, 32, 44 for the fanfic writer asks? 😌✨

NikNak, you may inquire and I shall reply to the best of my ability <3

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Okay, I’m gonna try and mix things up a bit and give out some new ones. I love so many fics though, so I’m not saying these are my absolute top three, but they are very very high ranking. I’m very much into Bottom Ash rn, so please, have three of my favorite Bottom Ash fics (there are so few in the world).

Crawling Back to You  Y’all already know how much I adore smut with emotions and this has some killer emotions weaved into the writing. Love, love, love the prose style and have reread many a time. 

Let Me Take Care of You  ONCE AGAIN. Emotion during smut... there is nothing like it !! Sex can be written as such a wonderful extension of intimacy in fics and I just adore it. This is one of my top fics in the fandom, without a doubt, I just love it to death. It is so beautiful and heartfelt and I honestly need to reread it rn. 

Morphine Lover, Make Me Numb  The fucking writing on this one... mmmm. Tasty. The balcony scene?? When there’s all the talk about the stars and galaxies and shit??? Fucking delicious. I am so obsessed with very poetry style writing and this fic checks that box for me. Have reread a hundred times, and will continue to do so. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

I think that there are honestly a lot of writers in this fandom who don’t get enough recognition... I’m going to say @calumthoodshands because of fucking DITS which is a masterpiece, and of course you, dear @valiantnerdtm who deserves a lot more hype for ITNR, and I know Noah only has two fics in the fandom but fuck their writing is unreal so @ladybugnoah but there are so many more. I also think @allsassnoclass deserves more hype for their fic Off-Screen which I am in love with. 

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Fuuuuckkkkk. Okay. Let’s go grab some one-liners. I’m not going to explain why I like them because... to be honest I just don’t want to sound pretentious. So Imma just drop these bad boys and skitter away. ((tried to pick more,,, background lines than usual, like not the obvious one-liners))

He says, quietly to Luke, words that break Luke’s heart harder than a hammer or meaningless touches, “I wish you wouldn’t talk about me like you know me.”  ^^ From Tinted Windows

But it gets tiring, having to keep one eye on Luke and one eye on Michael and one eye on Calum when he only has two eyes.  ^^ From Lightweight

But soon, he’s too desperate to even wait for night, and he’ll catch Calum off guard when he’s washing dishes in the river at sun-up, or when he’s cooking lunch, or when he’s just sitting and talking about nothing, the way his eyes squint being invitation enough. 

^^ From Empty Gut

((sorry abt the formatting on that, ew))

 44. Rant about something writing related.

I don’t understand why top/bottom dynamics matter so much to some readers. Like I just don’t get why some people have a preconceived notion in their head that a bottom has to be more submissive and that one person in the pairing has to be The Top. Like, I have listened to so many goddamn people gripe about not wanting to read Bottom Ashton because it doesn’t fit their fantasy and I respect that preference but I just don’t understand it, y’know?? Like gay sex... isn’t just one dominating person and one submissive person — at least, not in most relationships. I just think that pushing that narrative is very fetishistic and it bothers me when people are so heavily inclined either way. Like I’ve read comments on fics that are “sorry, had to skip the smut because I don’t read bottom ash” like dude okay, don’t?? tell the writer??? that??? It’s just the shittiest thing I could ever imagine doing in Fanfic Commenter World. Literally don’t read it then but don’t feel the need to tell the writer you didn’t?? If it’s not your preference, then it’s not your preference, and that’s cool but don’t be such a whiny little bitch baby about it. 

From Fanfic Writer Asks Game

[carinasfm]

*  mona  lisa  saperstein  vc  *  i’m  so  friggin  excited  right  now  ,  i  could  crap  my  pants  !  hi  y’all  ya  girl  mae  (  21+  +  she  /  her  +  est  )  is  here  with  her  dramatic  daughter  carina  !  she’s  the  broadway  actress  you  didn’t  ask  for  ,  yet  here  she  fucking  is  !  i’m  so  excited  to  play  her  ,  i’ve  never  gotten  to  play  her  before  +  my  muse  is  Inspired™  !  you  can  hit  me  up  for  plots  here  or  on  discord  !  my  discord  is  𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡  𝑏𝑒  𝖘𝖚𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘#4904  (  can  u  tell  i  love  mona  lisa  +  parks  and  recs  ?  cause  i  do  )  hit  that  little  heart  button  so  i  can  annoy  your  cute  ass  ,  okie  ?  thankssssssss !!

new  york’s  very  own  ��𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒂  𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐  was  spotted  on  broadway  street  in  𝒸𝒽𝓁𝑜𝑒́  𝓈𝓊𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒶  𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓉𝓈  .  your  resemblance  to  𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒂  𝒈𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒛  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  𝟸𝟺ᵗʰ  birthday  bash  .  while  living  in  nyc  ,  you’ve  been  labeled  as  being  𝒽𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒾𝒸  ,  but  also  𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒  .  i  guess  being  a  𝒍𝒆𝒐  explains  that  .  3  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔  𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇  𝓈𝓉𝒶𝑔𝑒  𝒾𝓃  𝓉𝒽𝑒  𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓉𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉  ,  𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓉𝓎  𝒷𝑜𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒𝓈  𝑜𝒻  𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝓋𝑒  𝓇𝑒𝒹  𝓌𝒾𝓃𝑒  &  𝓉𝒶𝒸𝑜  𝓉𝓊𝑒𝓈𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈  𝑜𝓃  𝓉𝓊𝑒𝓈𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈  𝒶𝓃𝒹  𝓉𝒽𝓊𝓇𝓈𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈  .  (  i  was  sexually  assaulted  when  i  was  thirteen  by  my  teacher  )  +  (  cisfemale  +  she  /  her  ) 

𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓  𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈  :  pedophilia  +  sexual  assault  

𝒷𝒶𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓈

𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙  𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒  :  carina  dulce  jacinto 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠  :  cari  ,  rinny  ,  cj  ,  jace  (  ha  -  say  ) 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒  𝑜𝑓  𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡𝘩  +  𝑎𝑔𝑒  :  august  12th  ,  1996  +  24 𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙  𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛  :  leo 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟  +  𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑠  :  cisgender  female  +  she  /  her 𝑠𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙  +  𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑐  𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛  :  pansexual  +  panromantic 𝑒𝑡𝘩𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑡𝑦  :  mexican 𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  :  american 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟  +  𝑓𝑎𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟  :  claudia  jacinto  +  mateo  trevino 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒  𝑜𝑓  𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡𝘩  :  phoenix  ,  arizona 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒  𝑜𝑓  𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒  :  manhattan  ,  new  york 𝑜𝑐𝑐𝑢𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛  :  eurydice  in  hadestown  on  broadway 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔  /  𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔  𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑜  :  phillipa  soo  ,  taylor  louderman  ,  eva  noblezada  +  anna  kendrick 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠  𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑛  :  english  (  primary  )  ,  spanish  (  secondary  )  ,  italian  +  french  𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔  :  passionate  ,  eloquent  ,  captivating  ,  focused  ,  observant  ,  confident  ,  intuitive  +  witty 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔  :  historic  ,  critical  ,  indulgent  ,  opinionated  ,  mercurial  ,  candid  ,  pretentious  +  realistic 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚  :  to  win  a  tony  for  best  performance  by  a  leading  actress  in  a  musical  

𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹

carina  was  born  to  a  young  single  mother  in  phoenix  ,  az  

her  father  high  tailed  it  out  of  the  picture  once  he  found  out  carina  was  on  the  way

carina’s  mother  had  big  dreams  of  becoming  a  hollywood  actress ,  wanting  to  

carina’s  mother  was  the  one  that  pushed  her  daughter  into  acting  ,  signing  her  up  for  local  commercials  +  the  likes  until  she  gained  some  traction  as  a  popular  baby/toddler  in  commercials

after  a  few  years  of  continuing  on  with  commercials  carina  finally  took  a  break  when  it  was  interfering  with  school  ,  much  to  her  mother’s  dismay

but  still  carina  had  the  acting  bug  +  wanted  to  do  community  theater  in  her  free  time

when  she  wasn’t  preparing  for  play  ,  she’d  make  one  up  herself  +  act  it  out  for  her  mother  if  she’d  let  her  ,  if  not  she’d  just  rehearse  by  herself  until  she  memorized  all  the  lines  she  wrote

this  continued  into  middle  school  ,  where  she  became  “  that  girl  ”  the  theater  girl

she  didn’t  mind  the  label  ,  in  fact  she  took  advantage  of  it  +  became  THE  theater  girl  of  her  school

the  english  teacher  that  was  also  the  theater  teacher  praised  her  for  her  work  +  they  grew  to  have  a  very  close  relationship

he  was  a  father  figure  that  she  never  had

until  he  wasn’t

𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓  𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

mr. guzman  saw  how  alone  carina  was  +  while  for  a  time  he  was  an  authority  figure  that  helped  her  ,  he  soon  became  so  much  more

it  started  with  a  ride  home  after  theater  practice  ,  the  young  tween  had  called  her  mother  to  no  avail  ,  but  she  hadn’t  picked  up  +  home  was  a  two  mile  walk  .  doable  ,  but  mr.  guzman  saw  she  was  in  need  +  offered  her  a  ride

in  the  car  it  was  really  the  first  time  that  carina  had  been  alone  with  mr.  guzman  in  an  enclosed  space  ,  if  they  were  alone  it  was  usually  on  the  stage

the  drive  was  pleasant  ,  they  made  small  talk  +  he  asked  her  how  eighth  grade  was  going  ,  she  was  in  seventh  when  she  had  him  as  her  teacher

when  they  finally  pulled  into  her  driveway  she  thanked  him  +  started  to  get  out  but  his  hand  grabbed  a  little  above  her  knee  +  soon  it  was  moving  its  way  up  her  thigh

only  13  +  dubbed  as  “  the  theater  girl  ”  by  her  peers  she  never  had  any  romantic  or  sexual experience  ,  so  she  froze  unsure  of  what  to  do  or  say

that  first  night  it  ended  with  a  soft  pat  on  the  thigh  before  she  was  able  to  run  out  the  door

but  soon  the  rides  were  a  regular  occurrence  +  his  hand  didn’t  stop  at  her  thigh

after  months  of  this  continuing  on  carina  lost  her  love  +  passion  for  theater

𝒆𝒏𝒅  𝒐𝒇  𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓  𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

she  quit  theater  +  became  a  recluse  all  the  way  up  until  junior  year  of  high  school

she  again  grew  close  to  a  teacher  ,  this  time  a  female  teacher  ,  her  us  government  teacher  that  often  brought  up  difficult  subjects  for  the  students  to  discuss

after  hearing  +  reading  about  different  hard  topics  ,  carina  finally  told  mrs.  reyes  what  had  happened  to  her back  in  middle  school

it  was  the  first  time  that  she  had  ever  told  anyone  what  had  happened  to  her  +  though  mrs.  reyes  pushed  ,  carina  didn’t  report  or  tell  anyone  else

but  with  mrs.  reyes  by  her  side  her  senior  year  she  got  back  into  theater  .  falling  back  in  love  with  the  thing  that  held  a  lot  of  emotions  for  her

after  graduation  carina  was  all  set  to  attend  nyu  with  a  double  major  in  performing  arts  as  well  as  film  +  media  production

she  moved  to  new  york  early  ,  wanting  to  get  a  head  start  on  moving  in  +  earning  some  cash  before  classes  started

while  she  was  working  as  a  barista  she  overheard  director  talking  about  auditions  for  an  off  broadway  play  +  this  grabbed  carina’s  attention

she  quickly  introduced  herself  +  snagged  an  audition  ,  she  landed  a  feature  role 

this  was  the  beginning  of  her  broadway  career  at  the  mere  age  of  17  ,  something  she  had  always  dreamed  of  

her  role  in  the  off  broadway  play  took  her  into  the  middle  of  october  +  in  september  she  was  already  auditioning  for  roles  in  a  broadway  play  while  she  attended  nyu

she  soon  gained  traction  ,  directors  were  discussing  her  performances  ,  even  minor  roles  ,  on  broadway

carina  still  continued  to  take  classes  at  nyu  but  her  focus  had  shifted  from  getting  a  degree  to  landing  a  leading  role  on  broadway

when  she  was  nineteen  her  dreams  came  true  ,  she  got  the  lead  role  as  eliza  in  hamilton  

from  that  role  she  sky  rocketed  to  fame  ,  she  performed  for  the  president  ,  beyonce  ,  oprah  ,  kristin  chenoweth  ,  meryl  streep  +  many  more

carina  was  barely  able  to  handle  how  fast  her  fame  came  ,  she  still  thought  of  herself  as  the  small  town  girl  from  a  working  class  home  with  a  young  single  mom

because  of  how  much  attention  hamilton  was  receiving  ,  carina  had  to  take  a  step  back  from  school 

she  took  a  leave  of  absence  ,  vowing  that  she  would  be  back  +  while  she’s  taken  some  classes  here  +  there  she  still hasn’t  gone  back  fully  due   to  her  continued  success  on  broadway

from  2016  -  2017  she  was  cast  as  sonya rostova  in  natasha  ,  pierre  +  the  great  comet  of  1812

in  2018  carina  became  regina  george  in  mean  girls

and  in  2019  she  claimed  the  role  of  eurydice  in  hadestown

new  york  ,  specifically  the  upper  west  side  ,  has  become  carina’s  home

𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

(  𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆  𝒐𝒓  𝒅𝒊𝒆  )  once  the  two  met  they  were  inseparable  .  without  siblings  carina  thinks  of  them  as  her  own  family  .  she’ll  do  anything  for  them  +  hopefully  vice  versa  ! 

(  𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆  )  the  person  carina  moved  in  with  when  she  started  out  in  new  york  .  they  could  still  be  close  or  they  could  not  talk  at  all  .

(  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒖𝒑𝒕𝒐𝒓  )  they  see  carina  +  they  see  gullible  ,  gullible  ,  gullible  .  they’ll  do  anything  to  manipulate  carina  to  get  something  for  themselves  .

(  𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓  𝒃𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔  )  anyone  that  carina  has  worked  with  on  broadway  .

(  𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓  )  someone  that  carina  has  worked  closely  with  to  ensure  an  honest  +  authentic  performance  . 

[codematurgy]

you could definitely say that what follows next is a quarentine diary of sorts, but i’m writing it up here because it relates to theme making in some ways; additionally, i just want to write something positive in the middle of this!

stay safe, of course - if your finantial conditions, likely because of the government of your country and/or your employer being criminals, aren’t good enough for you to stop working, i can’t say i’m exactly praying for you because i don’t have that practice, but i do hope you’ll be fine. this moment shows us how capitalists are willing to treat the working class. mandatory class struggle aside:

for starters shout out to tumblr because i love the new dashboard ok. i’m using the cybernetic palette and i really wish it was available on the app too. of course, my love of it isn’t related to the colors alone - i always thought the dashboard looked a bit messy in structure, so building it again from zero was a fantastic decision. love that i can see the words for image or avatar while the images are loading as well; they really took care of accessibility here, which was already an ongoing process with stuff like page order or focus, etc.

i just wanted to write that shoutout because i’ve seen a lot of people complain about it - mostly because xkit stopped working - while ignoring that the folks at xkit did explain how they’re helping the tumblr developers directly, and in turn their work at rewriting xkit would be even smoother. i don’t think people actually give tumblr developers credit where is due, and i’ve been fascinated with their work ever since i found out about official blogs such as @javascript or @engineering. it also clarified a few problems i’ve had when dealing with the mechanics of reblogs, even if some bits of it still drive me nuts! in a sense, thinking about theme making for tumblr has become more gratifying when you get to understand just what you’re doing. anyway, moving on.

i haven’t really done a lot of “theme making” for the past weeks - i did do a bunch of bug fixes to the npf photosets plugin, but nothing related to designing or creating and so on. it doesn’t mean that creating was completely lost to me, though i did channel it to something entirely different: movie reviews.

yeah. that sounds pretentious, i know.

i’m not a big fan of cash grab movies(read: pretty much most of recent disney work, and anything that feels similarly souless), but i never found the strength to watch the ones that are new and more popular around here; namely, stuff from a24. which is not to say those are bad! i’ve watched my share and they are really good - i’m absolutely enamored with the vvitch, for example. however, i’ve realized that i want to discover new worlds, and not all of them too serious neither constantly bombarding my tumblr dashboard or twitter timeline. people have been doing movies for such a long time and i keep wondering, how many incredible gems i’m missing on solely because i can’t be bothered to look back?

thanks to that, i’m watching movies i never thought i would watch. and more importantly, i’m writing about them - about the things that make them this single, incredible work. much like being in a show’s fandom, i guess, and writing such long metas on it, except i get to write shorter essays because i’m not getting an entire season, ahaha. i had never watched an art film up until now, i think, and although it wasn’t my favorite format from this first experience, it was nice and i’m actually willing to try it again.

one great takeaway from this experience, besides how awesome film-making is, relates to my creations here. a fascinating thing about movies is when their envisioners work to have this coherent, complete piece of work filled with all it needs to be solid, instead of letting these loose threads. this is not in a plot sense strictly, but for so many aspects like choosing to add something to costume, set, or prop design; the choice of a weird but so incredibly telling original score; a photography that goes beyond having a pretty centralized shot and adds weight to every shot... wow, that stuff is unreal, and it is so full of purpose!

this feeling of completeness is one i think i have been working on gradually, but still could do better. i have this terrible process in which i barely have a full sketch for a theme - i just think that i want this one thing and build the whole theme around that detail live on the code instead of actually planning it. i believe that, likely because of this, it feels like my themes are just this tiny design in the middle of a blank website. Chamamento, SETE and Ágora feel like outliers in that sense, even though the process was still chaotic, solely because at one point i actually sat myself down and i said “i want this”.

hopefully, i can take this knowledge with me on the next themes coming around! i don’t know when they will come, but i do have an idea for post styling and another one for a “complete” layout - i’ll try not to merge those in my weird process so it’s not too much information, though. there’s one theme in the works for a while too, which is based on the one i mentioned working on as i first mentioned Temporal, but it’s been reworked into an entirely different beast which i’m quite happy with; mostly because there is no pixel based post size! in fact, i’m considering not having typical post sizes for all next themes, choosing a more typical blog approach. it sounds weird but so far it looks really cool, although probably not as much if you’re doing graphics with set sizes... well, graphic makers were never my demographic to begin with.

and well, on an entirely different note: i keep forgetting that when you have a theme uploaded to tumblr, you can check active installs. actually seeing people using your themes, when before the only way you could see it was by hoping whoever reblogged or liked it had in fact installed it, is so exciting!!! it actually confirms that the people using my themes, or at least using Temporal, are often just your average blogger sharing memes, fanart and talking about the latest podcast - you know the one. it’s a pleasure to be making themes for y’all!

[brewdarrymore]

a page out of andrew minyard’s diary

may 1, 2008

dear diary, 

neil is the worst fucking thing to ever happen to me. here’s a list of things i hate about him and reasons why he’s the worst. 

the way his stupid sparkly blue eyes look when he talks about exy. i have never described anything as sparkly in my entire life.

his smile. it’s too fucking bright

i hate his goddamn mouth 

especially when it’s open and words are coming out

his ass and his thighs are way too unreal, i don’t believe it

his stupid fucking auburn hair and the way it curls around his goddamn ears. fuck you neil

that godforsaken orange bandana he always wears to keep it pushed back

his freckles are annoying and i hate them 

he sometimes has a british accent and he sounds pretentious as fuck and not attractive at all, i have to kiss him just to shut him up

the fact that he’s three inches taller than me and he has to lean down to kiss me is disgusting 

so is the way he grabs my fucking chin

i fucking hate that orange is his favorite color and i will kill him in his sleep when he’s wearing his dumb orange pajamas

he never says no

he calls me drew all the time. where did he even get it from. fuck off

he won’t stop antagonizing people on live tv and it will get him killed someday and i’ll have to kill whoever’s killing him, the thought alone is exhausting

every time i willingly say the word exy he looks like he wants to make out with me. what is wrong with him.

he wakes me up every time he goes for a run at the asscrack of dawn and he kisses my forehead when i tell him to fuck off and i want to punch him

every time i stop a goal during a game he gives me this motherfucking look and if he doesn’t stop i will gut him

he doesn’t like ice cream but he buys it all the time and our freezer is stocked with it. i don’t know what kind of game he thinks he’s playing but he can stop right now

his goddamn fucking neck fetish.

neil abram josten is a jackass and he has ruined my life and i’m stuck with him forever now because apparently i was cursed by some unknown entity. anyway i have to go because he just came home from class and the demon in control of my body says i have to go kiss him. i hate my life.

(inspired by this post. thanks to @dancyon @rians--world and @steampunkburie for your contributions!! love y’all)