#some of yall need to like. engage with real life people sometimes

[twunkzilla]

tumblriñas: ugh I'm so sick of this tenderqueer t4t shit it's so overdone 🙄🙄🙄 trans people aren't safer you're not better than me for being t4t find something else to write your poetry about

normiepilled east coast grindr tboys: oh you're trans? sorry I'm not into t4t, female bodies just don't do it for me! I just don't see how you'd be able to satisfy me without cock. no offense you're just too feminine :/

[scorpius-major]

#Just sign here

Ft: Childe and gn!reader

Synopsis: in which you summon a demon to stop your family from nagging you about your dating life

Contains: mentions of demons, contracts, and small amounts of blood (nothing graphic). Reader is genderlly ambiguous, but family members ask when you will get a boyfriend. Slight suggestive gestures but not explicit or forward at all (flirty behavior, physical touches, romantic advances)

wc: 1.7k

Final notes: this was really inspired by the book Sign Here by Claudia Lux. It’s a really good book yall should consider reading it! This is my first time is a while writing a full narrative fanfiction, so chill on me y’all if it’s not that good lmaoo. Depending if I like this I might make it into a full series! I’m experimenting with different povs so idk if this is gonna be my default one or not we’ll see as time goes on!

Family events are never fun. Especially when the hot topic always comes back to your dating life. You wish that for once they would talk about sometime other than when you’ll be bringing a boyfriend home. That one uncle doesn’t even talk about politics anymore.

“So when are you getting a boyfriend?”

“Yknow all your other cousins are engaged right?”

If only they knew a majority of marriages end in divorce. It’s not like you don’t want to be in a relationship, waiting for the right person is a solid move. What happens if you “find the one” prematurely and something terrible happens? Like breaking your heart or cheating on you. So whenever it comes up you just try and change the subject as best you can. The most effective way usually is asking your dad dumb sports questions. Questions that are obvious on the surface, but will get him talking for 10 minutes so you can leave.

You wonder how they haven't caught on yet, but then again your personal love life is none of their business. Getting an actual boyfriend seems like too much work. Paying one of your friends seems like a solid option, but your family already knows all of your friends. There has to be some way to get someone to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Then it clicked. 

You remember having seen a really old book in your grandmom’s attic about the occult. Why not just summon a random demon to dupe your extended family into thinking you finally found love? There are many things wrong with that, but running the options through your head it seemed like the simplest. Making a simple blood contract will beat having to meet new people any day.

The instructions were quite clear. Recite a simple incantation after writing your intentions on a blank parchment paper in red ink. All of which had to be performed in a dark room with a mirror on a full moon. The only problem is the only room in your house with a mirror big enough is the bathroom. Hopefully, the demon doesn't mind being summoned into a bathroom. 

The only real negative here would be accidentally summoning a malicious spirit that would haunt the house. But then you remembered you live alone. So what if a spirit inhabits your house? It can’t be that hard to ignore it. That was the last piece of encouragement you needed. That demon is getting summoned.

You shoot your mom a text saying how you can’t wait to introduce your boyfriend to the family.

“I think I’m finally ready to introduce him to the family, we’ll be there for the next family dinner.”

The look on her face would have been priceless. Everybody thinks that you don’t have a boyfriend, and while that is correct soon it will be partially correct. The full moon is tonight and dinner is in two days. There was one thought that lingered in the back of your head.

What if the demon doesn’t cooperate with you?

What if it doesn’t want to enter a contract with you? That can’t happen, right? 

Worst case scenario you’ll just hire somebody. You make your way to the bathroom, holding the supplies in hand. Candles litter around the sink and you light them before the lights are turned off. 

The dull glow illuminates the room just enough so you can see what you’re doing. You pick up the piece of parchment to write down what you want from the demon.

“Allow me to summon a demon here to pretend to be my boyfriend” it’s very straightforward, but it gets the job done. The red ink drips on the paper looking akin to blood. “I hope this works” you murmur to yourself. 

The incantation falls from your lips like it’s second nature. A sudden chill drifts through the air. Your bathroom has no windows, so you conclude that something must be going on. 

The candles suddenly went out, leaving the room engulfed in darkness. Feeling the temperature drop heavily, you lightly shiver to try to acclimate to the chilly room.

A faint glow can be made out from the corner of the bathroom mirror. Two small blue circles standing directly behind you. The candles flickered on again, leaving you wondering what you just got yourself into. “Startled by candles love? Please, that's the oldest trick in the book” a voice calls out to you. You turn around, facing where the blue light is coming from. The figure gives a slight chuckle, seeing your exasperated state. Warm ginger hair and freckled skin can be made out on the being. 

You grasp around the room trying to find the light switch, but before you can find it the lights are turned on already. A slender hand grasps yours, shaking it lightly. “I am the demon Known as Tartaglia, but you can just call me Ajax, sweetie” he shoots you a small wink, giving you just enough time to analyze his figure. 

He’s a little taller than you and has to look down slightly. However, he does have this sort of attractive air to him with a small smile present. “So I heard you wanted a demon to pretend to be your boyfriend. It takes guts to summon one of us.” You’re unable to say anything, so you stay silent. You don’t wanna start stuttering and embarrassing yourself. “What’s your name hun?” Ajax breaks the silence, startling you a bit. You didn’t even notice that he had moved you into your living room, sitting you both on the couch. Are you that entranced by him? Sure he was conventionally attractive, but could you fall in love with a demon? 

“Are you gonna answer me? I don’t have all day sweetheart” his voice snapping you out of some thoughts. “Oh sorry, my name is-“ he suddenly cuts you off by pressing his finger lightly to your lips. “Never mind honey, I’ll just keep using these cute little names” Ajax’s hand goes to cup your cheek as his other hand you a small tablet. “We stopped using blood contracts years ago. We do everything digitally now” gesturing you to go ahead and sign your name, his hand leaves your cheek and goes to hold around your lower back. 

Maybe it’s the touch-starved part of you talking, but part of you wants to lean into his touch more. His hair framed his as he leans into you, frowning slightly at the sight of the unsigned contract. “Just sign here and I’ll give you whatever you want” did they send a flirty demon by accident or did he read your intent?

“I have a quick question.” He hums in response. You place your finger on the tablet getting ready to sign it. “Did you know my intent, or are you just flirty 24/7?” He laughs, not sure if you were serious. You give him a confused look and put the tablet down. “No, we can’t. When we’re being summoned we have no idea what the summoner will ask for” 

Ajax’s Demeanor changes into a slightly darker one as he grins. “Well, what did you have in mind sweetheart?” He leans into your ear, using his taller figure as an advantage. You shake your head feeling embarrassed. “It’s a silly reason really” he looks curious now, and his interest peaked.

“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend so my family will stop bothering me” 

“Well that’s not what I was expecting, but I’m interested.

You had a feeling that’s what he was going to say. From his actions and suggestive way of speaking, you speculated he wasn’t gonna say no. You pick up the tablet and don’t bother reading any of the fine print. Normally that’s not a very good idea, but you were desperate. With that, you sign your name at the bottom and hand it back to Ajax.

He takes it from your hands and smiles. “Thanks, hun, now I hope you know you can’t get rid of me now. It says in the fine print” Yup, you should have read it. Now you’re stuck with him for presumably all eternity. 

“Any particular reason you resulted to summoning demons to fix this problem?” He was amused, demons probably don’t get many requests like this. “It seemed easy” you replied without a second thought. “Any boyfriendly duties I have to perform for you?” His hand was back around your waist, gripping it lightly. The tablet was gone, and the sun had started to come up. “Well, I do need you to attend this family dinner with me.” 

“Seems easy enough, how hard can that be?”

-

You stand in front of your parent’s door, splitting headache due to the chaos you’re sure is about to ensue. “You remember the story right?” Ajax squeezes your hand lightly as reassurance and gives you a small smile. “Of course, you’ve said it to me a hundred times sweetie” you take a deep breath in and knock on the door with your free hand. 

“Oh look who it is! The boyfriend is here too!” Your mom exclaims, and the rest of the family crowds the door. Maybe you should have warned him how large your family is. “Mama stop, that’s embarrassing.” You swat your hand at her and your dad interjects. “Oh nonsense, your mom is just proud of you that’s all!” He laughs. Ajax doesn’t really do much except smile and nod with occasional answers. He left most of the talking to you. 

Perhaps he likes the sound of your voice. He does subtle romantic things like resting his hand on your thigh and playing with your hair. You’re getting quite used to him and this dinner is going great. On the plus side your parents seem satisfied, and let you two leave without any quarrels.

“So what do you think?” You turn to him after you leave the house. Ajax grabs both of your hands and holds them tightly in his, smiling. 

“I think I’m gonna enjoy being your boyfriend”

“What part of fake did you not understand?”

“Do you want this to be fake?”

Ajax presses a small kiss to your cheek. “I didn’t think so either.”

[mysteriawrites]

Hii! Could I please request a male Genshin Impact match up?

Pronouns: she/her

MBTI: ISFJ

Personality (kind of):

▪︎pretends to be the coldest b*tch on the planet but is actually a softie

▪︎i have hard time making close friends so i get into one relationship at time and stick with them for ages and you better know that i'll move mountains and walk through hell for them

▪︎always ready to help, give an advice or get u out of trouble (after spending 30min screaming at u for how dumb u're and telling u that there's no way i'm getting out of my house rn)

▪︎uses bullying and random punching as love language (but out of the main 5 it's acts of service&quality time both giving and receiving)

▪︎kind of a control freak + can get bossy and rigid at times

▪︎stress cleaner - mopping floor at 2am is a weekly occurrence

▪︎solves math equations when stressed (also most likely at 2am in the morning)

▪︎either talks 24/7 or doesn't show a sign of life for a whole week

Likes/Hobbies:

▪︎writing&reading

▪︎astronomy, stargazing

▪︎sudoku, rummikub, puzzles, history

▪︎cloudy and rainy weather, long walks

▪︎long conversations - the topic doesn't matter, as long as it goes smoothly it can be literally anything. I'm always happy to hear other people's opinions and get to know their view on the world

Ideal type: I need more time for processing to engage and interact and find it extremely hard to read non-verbal social cues so someone patient, who isn't afraid of showing their emotions and communicates openly would be highly appreciated

Thank you so much in advance!♡ Have a great day^^

Hello Hello thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long I've been busy and missing my motivation, but this one was actually pretty easy so thank you this got me out of my semi-idea slump. MAESTRO CUE THE DRUM ROLL IF YOU PLEASE!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

CHILDE/TARTAGLIA!!!

Lowkey, I put yall together just because I thought it was funny, but I don't think there is actually a better match then this it just works so well.

So, like you guys are the type of couple that people look at and be wondering: why/how on earth are these two together? And sometimes you ask yourself the same question when you have to put up with Ajax's antics (You use his real name when you're annoyed with him), but deep-down you guys love each other so much.

Had you guys been normal people you two probably wouldn't have given each other the time of day. However, you two aren't normal people. You're both members of the infamous Fatui organization, and you have both been assigned to the same mission in Liyue.

During the mission Childe kept trying to make conversation with you from just casual conversation to playful teasing, and yet you didn't bat an eye. Oh, that just made him want to break you more. You've caught his interest now and he's not one to lose easily (even if it is a one-sided competition).

From then on Childe did everything he possibly could to get your attention. You know how some people say that boys bully you because they like you, well that'd Childe although it's less bullying and more just being an annoying lil shit.

Eventually he realizes that what he feels isn't a desire to win at some competition, but to get your attention. He realizes how deeply he's fallen for you and starts trying to woo you instead. He notices how much you like astronomy and reading, so for your birthday he managed to use his connections to get you a rare out of print astronomy book. After seeing how thoughtful a gift it was, he started to worm his way into your heart.

You guys didn't get together until the incident with the traveler. After the fight and releasing the power of the delusion Childe was in pretty bad shape. He practically collapsed in your arms as you two made your escape. As you nursed him back to health and tended to your own wounds you both realized how terrifying it would be to lose the other. It planted a heavy tension in the air which led you two to talking about your feelings (It may have also helped that you two were a little drunk on pain medication but whatever works works I guess).

From then on you two are an official item, although not much changes dynamic wise. Childe tries to impress you by doing something dumb, you get him out of said dumb thing, scold him for a lifetime while sometimes patching him up if the situation calls for it, all while having a slight smile on your face wondering how you fell in love with such an idiot. You two are also an unbeatable pair in combat.

Dates for you two are quite simple given your hectic work life. Mainly they'll be spent taking long walks through whatever new location you two have been assigned to; exploring the area, seeing the sights, enjoying the food, and finding a high enough point to stargaze when the sun goes down (Childe bought you a new telescope and you scolded him for spoiling him even knowing full well he's still gonna do it anyway).

Childe's family absolutely adores you. Every time you and him go to visit his siblings swarm you and call you big sisters. His parents really appreciate the help, you even do the cooking and cleaning (even though they insisted you didn't have to since you told them it calms you down, they just let you).

Childe will do anything to protect you. Despite how goofy and competitive he can be, if anything ever happened to you this man would see red and stop at nothing till you were safe in his arms again.

Hey hope you like it. That's all I have to say really :p

Runners Up: Thoma, Diluc, and Kaeya

[futuregws]

House of the dragon rant

I swear I get headaches everytime I see people trying to explain why they prefer Milly's Rhaenyra over Emma's like dude watch the bts of episode 6 for the love of God, that will help you understand what they were trying to do with the time jump. I feel like a broken record saying this so much but 10+ years passed dude a 30 year old can't be acting like a teenager SPECIALLY when they have 5 kids, Milly's Rhaenyra was rebellious, immature, carefree and was not prepared by the people around her for her responsibilities so in her mind she probably had none so of course she was able to act like she should act like a teenager, but after her engagement party where she sees her father pass out her lover punches a guy to death and said guy just so happens to be her future husband's lover you can finally see in her face something click and you can tell that she finally realizes what she has to do, and plus

another thing a lot of people seem to love to forget is the trauma that Rhaenyra experienced, bc I highly doubt those 10 years were all sunshine and rainbows I mean Emma said it Rhaenyra experienced trauma and Rhaenyra herself shows it on episode 6 and 7 even on episode 8, so yeah no shit that changes a person, it can have a drastic change or smaller changes but it does change you, adding the trauma to her being the heir to the iron throne + having a ton of kids and being an adult that cannot get away with shit as easily as before obviously her behavior will change, Emma's Rhaenyra is supposed to be a more cold and calculated person due to everything that I just mentioned but specially bc now she has kids that rely on her, the directors said it themselves, you can in fact still see small ticks that Rhaenyra had when she was younger and they still remain, bc that would be something slightly harder to lose but it's still there, when she gets mad you still see her essence and what she has always been like, but of course she can't be going around throwing that attitude at everyone bc there's a lot at risk, NOW she's finally realizing her responsibilities and her duty so she had to mature, idk what it is with this hate train towards the writers of the show and even Emma but like shut up, and don't get me wrong I don't love the writers either they made questionable choices but some of yall completely throw logic out the window sometimes just to hate on them, they did a great job with the transition between Milly and Emma, and this is just the beginning for Emma, Rhaenyra when she was an adult was not called the "maegor with tits" for nothing she hasn't had the opportunity to show her explosive side bc she didn't have to. And about the hate towards Emma, let's be real the hate towards them and even their Rhaenyra is 99.9% of the time rooted on transphobia, simple as that, had adult Rhaenyra been portrayed by a cis woman this would not happen. And I would also like to add that no Milly's Rhaenyra is not more popular, Rhaenyra as a whole is extremely popular, Emma's version is the face of the show but they are both extremely popular even though you mostly see posts about Emma's Rhaenyra now (therefore I do believe that Emma's is the fan favorite) but one is not above the other anyway, the only time you will see Milly's Rhaenyra being extremely praised, not saying she's not good, she is, but there's times where waves of praise for her come and with that some people feel the need to bring Emma down it's exclusively with the transphobes, or weird men that created this obsession with Milly bc she is a cis female that fits the beauty standards while according to society Emma doesn't. So please before you share your preferences which it's okay to have first of all don't shit on one to praise the other bc do you even like them if you have to bring in another person and shit on them just to praise the other, AND actually think about the timeline of things and basic shit like idk growing up and what life was like back then and in a place like westeros. Bc I'm certain that NO ONE here is the same as they were 10 years ago SPECIALLY if they experienced trauma.

Anyway thank you for coming to my very long Ted talk. If you actually read all this then wow

[the1975attheirverybest]

Not to dampen the mood, but I'm struggling with depression today . How do you cope with a depressive episode?

aww, babe, i'm sorry. sending you hugs and lots of love 💗🩷💜

This is likely to be a long ass rant, so apologies in advance for what is below the cut, lmao. This is, as sad as it seems, my one area of expertise since i'm depressed 24/7. So... yeah.

some depressive episodes are worse than others and some days are harder than others, so i guess determine what kinda day you're having? Sounds dumb but like on really difficult days, when im not able to do jackshit, if I try to force myself to push through it, and i inevitably fail cuz mental illness, it can make me feel even worse about myself.

SO, i guess first, decide, is it a rotting day or is it a "lets do SOMETHING today"?

if it's a rotting day, thats okay! embrace it! put on the comfort show that you dont even have the energy to focus on watching, stay in your pajamsas if thats what you need. let yourself have that and remember that its a LITERAL ILLNESS its the equivalent of trying to walk with a broken leg, its fuckin hard, man.

I have a "depression cheat sheet" that I originally made for my ex cuz he was also a mentally ill human and when you have two of those in one relationship it's....yeahh...

I think it's something like this:

Drink a glass of water

eat a home cooked meal

take a shower

go for a walk

Those are the essentials. sometimes even those need to be abbreviated. like maybe you order in, instead of cooking, but if you can cook, it really helps to do 1 task from start to finish! or maybe instead of a shower, you just brush your teeth. sometimes even that feels impossible. if you have to sit down while doing it, sit down. there are no rules that say you must stand up to clean your teeth!!

IF it's a day where you are able to do more, maybe do stuff to engage your 5 senses? that usually helps to ground me in the real world and get me out of my head. so...fluffy blanket, a strongly scented candle, music, fresh air, anything thats about YOUR BODY.

and if its a day where you feel like pushing through, trust me, don't go about your day as normal. pick an easy task. people always say that you should put the hardest part of your to do list at the top. THAT IS NOT FOR THE MENTALLY ILL, YALL! start with something you KNOW you are likely to complete. for me, that's always reading 5 pages of whatever book im working my way through that day. but sometimes it's journaling for 10 min, sometimes its literally watching a matty healy slutty edit and then doing some morning stretches! notice howim not saying "read a whole chapter," or "journal for half an hour." THE GOAL IS ACHIEVABLE. SMALL WINS. It builds the momentum in your brain and makes you more likely to complete the next task if you start off with success. ESPECIALLY if you're an ADHD girlie like myself who already has a dopamine deficiency that makes your brain crave that shit.

Here's the hard part: routine. again as someone with ADHD and anxiety and shit, routine is so so so hard for me. but its the most helpful for depression. you'll be tempted, the second that your brain starts to feel even a bit better, to just do whatever you like. NO, NO, NO! stay on that routine. waking up and going to bed at the same time everyday, doing the same things like coffee/ breakfast, work/ exercise, in the same order, helps get you started. There's a reason that George mentioned it in that Tape Notes episode when mentioning his own depression. it helps. it sucks. but it helps lmao.

this one is lame but: you're a human being. you're allowed to fall apart, cry, suck, not feel okay, not be productive, feel like dying, etc. as long as you dont actually die, then its okay. life is fuckin hard man. being alive is hard. and every day that you successfully get out of bed in the morning is a win. the only reason you dont feel like that is because capitalism has taught us to put a quantity onto our self-worth but that is literally fake. you are worthy just because you exist and sometimes that is enugh.

you do NOT need to do x, y, z to "reward yourself" with rest or love or mysic or food or the things that make you feel good. you can feel good and deserve it no matter what.

i hope this helps. i love you. you are good. everything is gonna be okay.

[mueritos]

I'm yet another suicidal person who has had to struggle with mental illness and... Idk. I know the difference between someone telling a bigot (someone who has probably told a lot of gay teens to kill themselves) and someone telling me (a gay trans person) to kill my self

In fact, I don't think the bigot who said I should go through electroshock therapy because he thought that I was crazy had the best thing in mind when he said that. I think honestly he wanted me to off myself, I have no reason to believe that this dude really believed shocking my brain a lot would turn me cis and straight except for being very stupid

I've never told a single person to kill themselves, I'm not saying you should, but if a bigot is attacking someone and they defend themselves, you don't go "uh uh! No no!" And slap their wrist while the bigot is still punching. You fucking PUNCH the bigot and then teach them how to better defend themselves in private, where the bigot can't see

Idk if this makes sense. Sorry

No you make perfect sense. Its the one of the reasons why im not convinced about and im gonna be upfront and say that I Do Not Care how a marginalized person responds to people who want us Dead. I dont! And i also cannot bring myself to, because again, I dont have it in me. If you want to show compassion, go ahead! If you want to tell them fuck off or that you want to staple their nipples to their eyelids, go ahead! Im not going to police marginalized people’s responses to active real life harm.

And great point because its something that I fell back on in the time reading what yall have to say and thinking on it: punching up is NOT the same as punching down. Marginalized folks will ALWAYS have far less support than those who oppress us, and punching up in defense, in exhuastion, or in retaliation will NEVER amount to the scale of harm that has been caused when oppressed punch, kill, maim, and incarcerate our communities.

Normalize focusing on ur communities, yrself, and your communties’ wellbeing and protection. Like i cant believe the discourse, are u guys seriously gonna make a callout post for community members who engage in de-arresting, who engage in protection of their own communities, who beat up and silence bigots? Because knowing how chronically online some folks on this site are, yea I can already imagine the callout posts being made.

I’ve been in IRL spaces where our survival and wellbeing DEPENDED on excluding, gatekeeping, and barring bigots and liberals out from our spaces. Sometimes this includes literally being honest and telling people to FUCK OFF! And i know there are lots of other communities who do far more to ensure no bigot, fascist, or abuser enters their spaces. Online respectability politics will never translated into IRL because you cant just block or mute bigots. You need to make them scared.

So yea. Thanks for bring this up cuz it def helped me solidify my thoughts on all of this.

[twstheadcanons]

This is a lore question and a slightly specific one. Cater as a character and otherwise is super interesting to me but at the same time insanely confusing. While at first I thought he would end up having maybe slightly abusive family there's a possibility that's not the case. His sister's seem to enjoy dolling him up and his mother seems to go along with it and his father's a bit more absent. I think I would mainly like to know what his true self is truly reflecting and also if Trey seems to know about this 'true version'. Don't feel pressured to anwser this if you can't btw ❣️

Cater fans come get yall’s food.

S, iideally I’d go through events Cater’s prominent in (Beans Day, Halloween), but that would just make this whole post longer.  So I’ll be using Cater’s card stories for now.  What we know about Cater, on the surface level, is that he comes across as happy-go-lucky, energetic, social, trendy, superficial, flaky, and insensitive at times.  But that’s Cater on a surface level.

So for Cater, his major issues from his background are:

his family frequently moving to accommodate his father’s occupation as a banker

his sisters dragging him into their own interests that he was expected to accommodate as well

Cater repeatedly states he disliked getting dragged around by his sisters and having cutesy stuff he wasn’t genuinely interested in shoved into his face.  This would even happen on his birthday, where his sisters got him things they’re more likely to enjoy, which made Cater feel frustrated since he was supposed to be the focus on his own birthday.  But despite that annoyance, Cater understands his sisters didn’t really mean any harm.  From the sounds of it, they liked hanging out with Cater, and assumed that Cater enjoyed how they spent time together as well since Cater preferred to go with the flow, rather than rock the boat.  

In his Bday SSR, Cater mentions that his sisters became more considerate of his own interests and asked him what he wanted.  All three coming from a family where they move and lose close friends a lot, the sisters are probably close and want to stay close to their brother as well, since they’re the only consistent company in a similar age range.  His sisters are each other’s best friends, Cater didn’t have that growing up.  He also mentions his sisters and mother’s sweets-making kick, and how he eventually got over having sweets every day.  But when he protested, it’d disappoint and sadden them/they’d have dejected looks on their faces, which Cater didn’t know how to handle, so he made himself go along with their whims to keep them happy.  

This pours into his social media life, where he’s a peppy, cheery guy that posts upbeat content and responds with light, casual, carefree messages to people.  His Lab SR literally has him state that he ‘should always be happy and excited, after all’.  So, clearly, whatever dynamic the Diamond family has, while not what I’d call something as heavy as abuse, isn’t considerate of Cater’s feelings and views Cater’s ‘go with the flow’ ways as approval.  If he ‘breaks character’ of the devil-may-care person he is on the surface, it raises questions, and Cater would rather just avoid all that and enjoy himself instead of getting involved in anything heavy.

Again, Cater doesn’t like to rock the boat.  He also mentions in his Lab SR that this obsession with cutesy stuff became rather invasive, and he’d even be criticised or second-guessed if he didn’t go along with the idea.  Cater ends up accommodating that interest to prevent any debate, even if he didn’t actually care for them.  That said, with such an emphasis on aesthetics being the way he grew up, Cater has a good understanding and practical knowledge of decour and eye-catching designs, which makes him helpful and invaluable when the time calls for decour.  This is something Cater knows he’s good at, and enjoys showing off since the focus is on himself and he’s acknowledged for his skills.

With their family moving all the time, Caters gained and lost friends a lot.  Cater has an outgoing personality, at this point, it’s safe to assume he’s an extrovert, so making friends comes naturally to him.  But when you’re moving a lot, maybe sometimes in the middle of a school term, .  Cater needs engagement and social interaction, but at this point in his life, he’s tired of trying to keep up with old and new friends on deep levels, hence his interest and obsession with social media.

One thing to note about Cater: he likes cutting corners.  a lot.

In his R card “Portrait of Rosalia”, it’s understood that Cater being nice to Rosalia by throwing her a party with some lively students around is a way for him to get on her good side, because Rosalia overhears the teachers’ discussions of tests and future lessons so that he wouldn’t have to study for an upcoming history test: while Cater’s idea of a party to lift Rosalia’s spirits is in good nature, he wants something out of it that benefits him.  But while disappointed the plan didn’t work, he’s quick to brush it off, and Rosalia’s anger, by mentioning that she’s cuter when uptight anyway.

In his PE card “This betrayer!” Cater only have five laps left to do in PE.  But he hates how sweaty he is and how tedious the overall task is.  So he uses his UM to try and avoid doing all five laps himself.  Riddle catches him red-handed, and Cater tries - albeit I’m sure he knows it’s a lost cause - to flatter Riddle at the last minute.  Trey’s also involved, and despite leaving Cater in the dust, Trey also returns with Riddle, because Trey knows that Cater’s the type that tries to cut corners whenever possible, something against the rules in Heartslabyul.  Honestly, as far as Trey goes, Trey’s someone used to the way Riddle holds himself back.  Cater’s exterior personality wouldn’t be hard for Trey to recognise as Cater pushing himself or exaggerating points of his personality just to keep up an image. especially after being in the same dorm for three years.

In short, while he isn’t malicious about majority of the time, Cater will use others to get out situations and tasks he wants no part of.  This is a huge thing reflected in his UM, as it allows Cater to be in more than one place, so that he personally doesn’t have to be involved.  Growing up with two pushy older sisters, it makes he develops a UM that complements a need for escape when pure wit won’t work.  And despite being someone with a superficial interest in trends, that experience accumulates in him understanding the basics about social media and how it affects others, himself included, since it became the only way he could stay in contact with acquaintances and ‘friends’ from previous years. 

 Cater has a good understanding of how people, in general, work, especially those in his agegroup, which makes him rather crafty when he wants to string others along and get out of a situation.  This doesn’t make Cater a mean or conniving person, and in fact, he’s generally amicable and social.  Cater lives by a pretty ‘live in the moment’ credo.  He enjoys having fun and not getting overly serious about issues when he can help it.  There are instances where he doesn’t care about the situation he’s in, or thinks it’s lame/boring, but he tries to make the most of it as something to post about on MagiCam later to engage in low-effort social interaction for a mental break. 

Cater pretty much states this in his Halloween SSR:

“If I left there, they remained there. That’s why I’d rather have a casual and happy time with everyone instead of going steady. It’s like a circus troupe, you know, having fun hanging with people all over the world and then leaving. And that’s why MagiCam is the best. I suddenly got messages from acquaintances from the school I went to 3 years ago. Aren’t my casual and light relationships multiplying? It’s lovely! “

Social media helps him keep in contact with people on a low-effort level, so the risk of moving doesn’t damage his relationships online like it would physical friendships.  As for family, Cater’s feelings towards his family are difficult, tricky ones he has problems with.  He certainly doesn’t hate them, but their lifestyle, the moving and pushy personalities, don’t mesh well with Cater’s personality overall.  When Lilia tries to relate to Cater’s experiences of fleeting relationships, Cater can’t help but dismiss Lilia’s empathy as surface-level, since, to CATER’S knowledge (it’s not like he knows Lilia’s old as shit), Lilia’s always lived in the VoT with his own family and friends, which hits a sore spot with Cater:

““Cater: ….Family…huh.

Flashback Lilia: I feel like I understand you. But it is just as Cater says, it might be the truth that you should not attach yourself too much to one person in particular.

Flashback ends Cater: (That was full of lies. For a guy who grew up in the same place and never had to deal with rebuilding relations over and over… He wouldn’t understand my worthless and meaningless feelings.)

/Notification

Cater: Hello, Trey. What’s up? Huh? Are we doing our rehearsal for our night show at the stamp rally now? And is Deuce from my committee lacking in hands, so Ace is helping him out? Darn, Ace is definitely going to use this to ask me for a favor later!

Cater: Argh! And is Riddle on the verge of a rampage? I’ll be back soon, Trey, please calm him! It was such a pain getting involved in the biggest crisis of this Halloween week! No, for real! I’m not lying. That’s why you don’t have to say such cold things to me, kay? URGH, TREY, YOU’RE SO CRUEL!!

Cater: Now that Diasomnia’s turmoil has settled, it’s time to change the mood. No matter how you slice it, we’ll still separate if we become 4th years… It would be different if I repeated a year though. Anyway, I should just enjoy the memories I’m making “now”! I’ll surprise everyone with this charming skeleton costume! I’ll show them my serious side!”

Cater calls his own feelings ‘worthless and meaningless’, which likely ties into how he got dragged into his mother and sisters’ own interests over his own, and sometimes even criticised if he didn’t go with their flow.  He also expects the friendships he’s made in NRC (as we see with him talking to Trey about the rest of the Heartslabyul cast), to inevitably disappear after he and Trey are fourth years with their own internships and lives to live.  Because to Cater, the future of his life and relationships appear disruptive and inconsistent, so instead of fretting about them, he wants to live in the moment and enjoy what he’s doing at all times, hence why he cuts corners to make things easier on himself.  This is why he can come across as superficial and easy to get along with, because he doesn’t want to fret over the details.

unrelated but we’re team ‘former dorm leader cater’ here because him doing it because it sounds cool and fun fits perfectly with his personality

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

[protectwoc]

why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[winterscaptain]

how do our favourite ajf couples handle The Talk? and also, how do they start talking about lgbtq+ things? we love communication and education in this house ✨ - 💙

alRIGHT we are going OFF under the cut about good parenting (and also aaron’s the best dad on the planet change my mind)

this is litcherally almost 1.5k words because not only are we inclusive and educational in this house, we are comprehensive and honest with our kids!

they start with consent and boundaries really early. its always “can you ask you sister if its okay to use her tablet” or “honey you're standing a little close to me and i need some space right now. can you step back?” or “i don't really want to do that right now, can we do something else?”

its easier to understand boundaries with the addition of isaac in their home environment. he needs and has very clear boundaries for his siblings and his parents, so its very clear cut from the get-go what is and isn’t okay without permission. mom and aaron are good about knocking on doors and waiting for their kids to invite them into their space, and they’re awesome about privacy and open conversations.

auntie emily has a girlfriend or two and spencer has a boyfriend, a non-binary partner, and a girlfriend over the course of the kids’ lives, which is a really neat segue into the lgbtq+ conversation. very simple - 

“when you’re older, you might start feeling things for people, or you might not. there are different words for people who are attracted to different people, and those are called sexualities. for example, your aunt emily is a lesbian because she likes girls, and your uncle spencer has dated people of different genders, so he’s called bisexual.  

“there are also different words for people who don’t really fit in to the ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ category. some people are a lot of one or the other, some people are a little bit of both, and others aren’t any at all. 

“it’s really important to use these words respectfully, and only use them for someone if you have heard someone use them for themselves. this is a really private thing for most people, so we have to be respectful of people’s boundaries when we talk about the feelings we have for other people.

“if you ever want to talk to mom or me about feelings you’re having, we will be here for you to love you and accept you no matter what.”

(these kids are either gen z or whatever the fuck comes after them, so they’ll probably all be a little queer in one way or another, or at least explored a bit, lets be real)

they are very age-appropriate, as well. so there’s a conversation about how our bodies change when the kids are about nine or ten, and they have a lot of books for the kids to read in private, so they’re not so put on the spot. 

mom and aaron do their best to tag team, but there are some things that are better to hear from your dad than your mom and vice versa. 

this is also around the time the kids get the conversation about what is and isn't appropriate touching, peer pressure, and social norms (”sometimes, people will say that they’ve done something that you hadn’t thought of before or aren’t ready to do, and it might feel like everyone else has done it, too. however, you are you and you are not them. you are the only person who gets to tell you what to do, and never feel like you have to do anything for any reason.”)

jack, of course, is first, and is having these first conversations with aaron right around the time isaac is born.

when he gets further into middle school, he and aaron go for a walk and talk more specifically about consent and new feelings that might come up. idk about yall, but i knew way more than i should have in middle school and the internet has only gotten worse since then, so i’m sure jack has a vague idea of the mechanics. jack and mom also talk about values, like respect and compassion and empathy, and how those values link together with those feelings. 

when they're older (late middle school, early high school), they get the conversation about stds and safety and risks and that stuff. (that’s another easy conversation with real-life examples because isaac, while very wanted, was somewhat unexpected, and so was their cousin henry.) everyone is really clear about all the ways to engage in these activities that won’t get anyone hurt, pregnant, infected, or all of the above. (all of course, with the understanding that “this is for your knowledge, not for you to just know how to go off and sow your wild oats. you’ll have plenty of time for that later, i promise.”)

the segue for isaac’s first on-topic talk comes due to a question about how jack has a different mom than the rest of them. there was a comment at school that made isaac feel a little weird (”well jack’s not your real brother. he doesn't count because he's your half-brother” - that kind of thing) so he asked mom and dad about it. he already knew that jack has a different mom, but he doesn't really know what that means. 

aaron’s like “well, jack is made of different stuff because he didn’t come out of mom.”

“what kind of different stuff?”

(and of course mom thinks its hilarious and later says “you walked right into that one, honey.”)

so because isaac is isaac and loves to learn, aaron goes and grabs one of the books he got for jack, and he and mom walk through all the “stuff” that makes up a person and how it gets there. they’re a little more detailed with him than the other kids, because he really likes to know the science and mechanics of it (”dad, people are kind of like machines!” “yeah, bud, a little bit!”)

hes fascinated, of course, and he’s the easiest of the five. he also does really well with more abstract ideas of consent and boundaries as well. 

when it’s the girls’ turn, they not only get the mechanics conversation (for both sex and owning a uterus) but the safety conversation. because consent was so drilled into all of them, the boys are like “aight got it, don’t be an asshole and always ask about everything all the time. cool.” but the girls are dealing with some different stuff on multiple fronts. 

mom tells them about periods before they get them, so they’re not thinking they’re dying when their first period arrives. they actually help their friends a lot when they freak out, which is super sweet. 

aaron reiterates this one to every kid, every time: 

“there will be times where people, usually men, do not listen to you and do not respect your boundaries. i am giving you my permission to do whatever you have to do to get out of that situation. you can lie to that person, you can trick that person, and you can hurt that person if that’s the only way to get out of that situation. you can always call us and it doesn’t matter what time it is. we will never ever be mad at you. we love you unconditionally and we just want you to be safe.” 

“sex, for some people, is about fun and getting some exercise in, or just another way to spend time with people. that’s okay, but just make sure you’re taking care of yourself and being safe. for other people, its a physical way to express your love to someone you really care about.” 

(“oh, so that’s why there’s so many of us.” “soph don’t be rude.” “it’s true isnt it?”)

so its less of like The Talk and more of Yeah, We Can Talk About This Anytime, because mom and aaron do their best to normalize talking about this stuff so the kids won’t be embarrassed to come to them with stuff in the future. 

jack usually goes to mom with more...specific questions. caro ends up going to dad more often than not, and soph and elliot split the parents pretty evenly. isaac usually goes to mom, too. 

aaron’s favorite Jack Asks About Sex moment (relayed to him that night, in bed with mom) is as follows:

mom and jack are out on a walk, and jack’s like, 15ish. he just looks at her and is like “mom. hey, uh. what’s a blowjob?”

she tries not to laugh and succeeds, for the most part. in the spirit of honesty, and with the understanding of “you aren’t to do this until you are comfortable and ready and nobody else can tell you when that is,” she kind of loosely outlines oral sex and how to conduct it safely and responsibly. 

“is it like...good? fun? like ugh, god, how do i put this...do you and dad...do people...nevermind.”

with a laugh - “jack. you really don’t want me to answer that. i will scar you for life if you push.” 

“ugh. yikes. alright.” 

aaron thought it was HYSTERICAL. 

at the end of the day, they just want their kids to feel safe and loved. all five of them know that they were built and made with love, and know (within reason) that their parents love and enjoy each other. 

whew. thanks for coming to my ted talk, and you can thank my parents for some of these gems lmao

[fiovske]

can i vent to you just a bit? it makes me sad that the only thing that keeps me watching cr is the lore and caduceus. and it's so exhausting to be in some parts of the fandom sometimes when week after week there's talk about okay, if cad won't leave now, he will after they bring back molly, because he's "done with his arc". isn't jester also done with hers now after travellercon? she set out into the world because she couldnt stay at her home anymore but that has been taken care of already. 1/3

but there's never been even a word about jester possibly leaving the group. some will probably say that "but this is her family now! Caduceus still has a duty to fill elsewhere!" but when you have about 400 years of life still in front of you, I could argue that filling that duty is not something that needs to happen in the next month or even a year. to me this just highlights how easily cad gets brushed aside, almost like he still doesn't fully belong in to the group 2/3

despite everything that he has given to them. ep96 still gets my blood boiling. and i don't mean to be a jester anti, i'm just... tired i guess. also eeeverything else that feels off after the hiatus... I think I might do the sensible thing and clear cr from my thursday schedule. i can still catch the episodes from youtube and cheer for the firbolg boy by myself. it's just kinda sad that so many people that i follow don't seem to find the joy of cr anymore. I can't find it either. 3/3

I completely understand and I fully sympathize!! and also agree!! the way people sideline caduceus, and only acknowledge him as if his sole job is to be the emotional support of the group, to constantly give and to never get anything back. the way it is absolutely ignored that he’s been having terrible nightmares and the way people are on like: oh this means cad will leave and molly comes back!!

and I’m like: bro if cad leaves your group is statistically FUCKED. I know none of you like to check in on him emotionally or physically, if at all. jester isnt the group healer and doesnt like to focus on the healing, if your prime healer leaves then tell me who will null those nat20 attacks?? who will give you bless or cast bane on the emeny?? literally he is indisposable as a party member yall dont got anyone to pick you back up but him and yall have reduced him to that role only instead of ever trying to be introspective about him or engage with him on his trauma and self-destructive behaviors, despite everything he’s done for y’all and WILL continue to do, he’ll continue to give until there’s nothing of him left and yall are just real damn fine with taking from him and taking and taking.

like.. he’s died like, two times and had a really rough time on rumblecusp and we didnt see yall care for him like you would for someone you consider a main-character. I know caduceus has problems with acknowledging that he expecting love in turn isn’t something he should feel guilty about too, that he sees him being with the m9 as a “debt” a “duty” makes me infinitely sad and the fact that he always puts everyone before himself, always does THE MOST for every character, gives them affirmation and love when they need it... and gets almost next to nothing in return. not even a “how are you doing, buddy?” yeah.

idk i love the pink cow man and I hate how everything thinks he isnt interesting enough or “static” when caduceus has grown and changed and its been repeatedly shown that he struggles to balance how much he misses home and how much infinitely more would he miss the m9 if they ever part ways... like, he has so many issues that lurk under the surface, his inability to ask for love or to be cared for or even... idk, his inability to even ask for help.... it makes me so fucking sad. we got caduceus arc we met the fam but I’ll always be sad we couldn’t stay with them longer, that none of the nein really interacted with caduceus’ family or talked about him or asked what he’s like or just.. simply cared. it felt like they didnt really care and I dont care if I sound too salty right now but I love caduceus and all I can hope for is Matt probably makes an NPC who flirts with caduceus maybe or even simply cares, or even engages with him on a personal basis... i’d love to see the firbolg be the object of someone affection at least ONCE instead of bleeding himself dry by giving and giving and giving until he’s hollow and dry and there’s nothing left of him anymore and even then, he’ll continue to give and pretend he is fine. and i doubt, even then, that the m9 would notice.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[sailorsei]

Vicar Max x Fem!Captain

Word count: 5.1k (I can’t write a short fic to save my life)

Summary: The Vicar has a hard time hiding his feelings until his Captain is terribly injured.

Warnings: 18+, smut!, blood, rapt bites, drinking, etc.

A/N: First Outer Worlds fic! Hope yall enjoy! This is pretty self indulgent jjdksjsdsj. The reader has the background as my outer worlds OC so I guess this could be oc x vicar max too but whatever lol. take place after the empty man quest.

I had never been one to open up. I never had been one to have close friends. Not on earth, even when my “aunt” had sent me to countless therapists and counselors, not when she signed me up from after school activities, and certainly not now, when I’m traipsing around Halcyon as some sort of freelancer. Never in a million of years did I think that I would be in a different solar system, trying to help some scientist guy revive hundreds of thousands of people, while also avoiding being caught by The Board. But here I stood, waiting for my rag tag group of friends to finish up their drinks before heading back to my ship, The Unreliable.

Stellar Bay was nice aside from the constant presence of monstrous creatures outside its walls, among other things. Nyoka and Ellie drunkenly laughed over some joke they had made as they stood from their seats at the bar. They somehow held each other up even though they could barely stand. Parvati, Felix, and Vicar Max were engaged in a discussion about the recent tossball match. I waited for them to exit the bar before following behind. I looked up at the sky as we made our way over to the elevator pad. The skies here were so much more beautiful than on Earth. I may have had a miserable life on Earth, but sometimes, I missed it. Sometimes.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn’t noticed Vicar Max had slowed down just a bit so he could walk beside me. He cleared his throat and I snapped back to reality.

“Something troubling you, Captain? You hardly said a word at the bar.” He said. I looked at him and could see his concern. Was it coming from his Vicar side, or his Max side, you wondered.

“I’m fine, Max. Just… Reminiscing.” I replied, looking forward. We all stepped onto the elevator pad and I pulled the level for it to bring us up to my ship.

“May I ask what about?” He asked. I looked out onto the small town, taking it all in. I considered lying, saying something bland to get him off my back. But he was my friend. He deserved a real answer, as much as my instincts said not to.

 “Just about my life before Halcyon.” I replied, turning to him. Max nodded slowly, considering how to respond. I didn’t talk about my old life much, besides the highlights.

---

Parents were killed in a car accident when I was 5, my mother’s business partner took me in. Raised me, well, my nanny raised me. Woman was a saint. I kept my head down in my school years. Focused on my studies, I didn’t want to get attached to anyone. The thought of losing someone again scared me. When I was 25, my nanny of my childhood had contacted me, saying she couldn’t take it anymore. She revealed that my “aunt”, mom’s business partner, had had my parents killed so she could take control of their business, after a heated disagreement between them. Mom wanted to run a compassionate pharmaceutical business. Aunt Lydia had other ideas. My nanny had then revealed, I was supposed to be in the car.

 So my aunt had to play the good friend role, and take me in. I went to go blow the whistle on what my aunt had done, when I was ambushed and drugged. I woke up in a space suit and in the frozen chamber on The Hope. My aunt standing before me. I weakly tried pushed against the pod door when she simply sighed.

“It’s no use. It’s sealed from the outside.” She said. I tried again when she yelled my name to stop.

“Why?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“I couldn’t have you expose me. Everything I worked for would have been ruined.” She said. She walked up to the pod, inches from the glass.

“I know it won’t mean anything, but I am sorry for what happened to them.” She rested her hand on the glass for just a moment, before retracting it. She backed away and turned to leave when she looked back. “I hope you can make a life for yourself.” She walked away. The next thing I remember is waking up to Phineas reviving me.

 --

 Max decided to not press the issue further, giving me his usual spiel of if I needed to talk, he was there for me. And I silently thanked him with a nod. It’s not that I didn’t think I could trust him with what was going on in my head, I was afraid that if once I opened up, it wouldn’t stop.

 --

 I made sure Nyoka and Ellie were tucked into their cabins, shutting their doors so they could sleep off the impending hang overs without interruption. I grabbed a snack from the kitchen and said goodnight to the rest of the gang and headed to my room. The view of space was something I would never get sick of. I laid on my bed and just lost myself in the stars, and soon, to sleep.

I woke up to hearing ADA saying that there is only one bathroom for the millionth time. I got up from my bed, rubbing my face. I slipped on some fresh clothes and made my way to the kitchen. Everyone was in the kitchen, talking to each other, while SAM cleaned around everyone.

“Mornin’ Captain!” Parvati chirped. She turned her attention back to a little gadget she had been tinkering with. I offered a small wave to my crew as I made my way over to the fridge to get some water. I could feel Max’s eyes on me as I was standing at the counter. My cheeks warmed up from the supposed attention and turned around, nonchalantly, to see if my suspicion was right.

Max averted his eyes quickly and I tilted my head slightly. Did I have something on my back? Was my hair messy? I was going to ask him when Felix called for my attention.

“Hey Boss, so, you’re like 95, right?” Felix asked. I looked at him confused, but did the math quickly in my head.

 “I believe so. Froze at 25, to be awakened 70 years later. Why?” I leaned against the counter, crossing my arms.

“Since you’re the oldest, you make all the rules around here.” Felix said, looking like he just proved some point that you were unaware of.

“I mean, I feel like being Captain trumps that, but I guess?” I replied. Felix sheepishly whispered “Oh yeah…” before turning back to what he was doing. The others giggled at that.

I pushed off from the counter and started to make my way down to ADA when I heard Max call my name. I stopped at the stair I was at and looked up at Max.

“What’s up, Max?” I asked.

“Oh, I just wanted to make sure you were ok, after last night. I, uh,” He paused for a moment, he seemed nervous. I tilted my head, curious.  “I didn’t want to press.” He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just in a weird head space last night. Thanks for the concern, but you’re the one that seems to have something on his mind, do YOU need to talk about something, Vicar?” I rose a few steps, crossing my arms. Even though I was just two steps away from him, my head had to tilt back a bit so I could still maintain eye contact. He stood at 6’4”, whereas I was 5’4”, so I had to do this often.

Max stammered a bit before answering.

“Nothing is the matter, Captain, I assure you. If you’ll excuse me.” He nodded and walked back towards the kitchen. I stood there, baffled, but turned and walked down to ADA.

“ADA, why are humans so confusing?” I asked, mostly rhetorical, as I typed away on the terminal.

“I’m not sure how to answer that, Captain. Humans are truly an enigma.” ADA replied.

“Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth.” I said, amused. “Anyway, let’s head to Groundbreaker. Gladys has a side job she needs done.”

“Right away, Captain.” ADA replied. The ship roared to life and headed towards Groundbreaker.

 --

 Walking off the ship, Max and Parvati followed close behind.

“Do you mind if I go see Junlei while you talk to Gladys, Cap?” Parvati asked. When I had first gotten to Edgewater, I had quite the crush on Parvati. But she soon showed interest in Junlei and I reeled back my feelings. Didn’t need to complicate the crew.

“Of course, Parv. Just meet us back on the ship in like, 20 minutes.” I replied. Parvati nodded quickly, and took off to see her girlfriend. It was sweet how smitten she was.

Max and I walked in silence towards the Rest-N-Go, when Max cleared his throat.

 “If you don’t mind me asking, Captain, I’m curious. Did you have any paramours when you were on Earth?” He asked. I looked at him, and kind of laughed.

“Are you asking if I was seeing anyone while on Earth? You’re not going to lecture me on pre-marital sex are you?” I asked. Max quickly tried to back pedal on what he asked when I nudged him with my elbow.

“Relax, Preacher Man. I’m teasing.” He rolled his eyes at the nick name. “I had a few people I saw every now and again, but never anything serious. Attachment issues really get in the way of healthy relationship.” Max went to inquire more when we arrived at Gladys’ office.

“Well look who it is, hello sweetheart. Did you get my message?” I nodded and Gladys pulled out a cartridge with information on the job and handed it to me.

“Now you be careful. I would hate to see my favorite freelancer get gobbled up by some rapts.” She cooed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. I have quite the crew with me.” I rested my head on Max’s arm as a sign of trust but I felt him tense up. I chose to ignore it and waved goodbye to Gladys.

We stopped by Belle’s Shells for ammo, but the walk there was weird, to say the least. Max refused to make eye contact, and then made up some excuse that he needed to go to the ship immediately and just about sprinted to it. I scowled but turned back to the vendor when Parvati strolled up.

“Why did Max just literally run away from you?” She asked. I turned to her as the vendor grabbed more ammo from the back.

“I have no idea. He’s been acting weird lately. I tried to ask him about it but he clamed up. I thought maybe men would be easier to read in the future, and in a different solar system. But it seems I was wrong.” I said, huffing in frustration. “It’s fine though. He doesn’t have to open up about stuff he doesn’t want to. But I do think it’s funny how he always is asking me how I’M doing but as soon as it’s him, he just shuts up.” I looked over at Parvati to her holding in a snicker. I put my hands on my hips and looked at her with curiosity.

“Oh! Sorry! I don’t mean to laugh, Captain, just... I agree. Men are just that weird here. Yep.” Parvati nervously smiled. I wanted to press her further but the vendor came back with an arm load of ammo. I handed some to Parvati and headed back to the ship.

 --

 Parvati and I put the ammo in the cargo bay and then I headed to ADA, using the navigation terminal to head to Roseway. Gladys wanted me to check out a crashed ship that might have been holding some chemicals that are super hard to come by.

 We landed on the Roseway landing pad and I geared up to check it out solo when Max stopped me.

“Captain, you’re not going alone, are you?” He inquired.

“Yeah, I am. It’ll be a quick in and out, and I didn’t want to bother anyone for that.” I offered him a smile and went to leave when he grabbed my hand. I looked at my hand and then at Max. He quickly let go.

“Allow me to join you, I would hate myself if anything happened to you.” He waited for me to respond.

“I’m 95, Max, I can take care of myself. I’ll be back before you know it.” I winked at him and headed out before he could protest.

 --

 Max paced by the door of the ship for what felt like hours. She should have been back by now, Max thought. Max considered going out to make sure things were alright when Ellie told him to chill out.

“She’s fine Max. I’m sure she’s just having a hard time finding whatever the fuck that old lady wanted her to find.” Ellie leaned against the door frame. Max considered that but still, he was worried.

“I still would like to know for sure. We should make sure our Captain is okay. ” Max said, checking the ammo in his gun.

“Sure, that’s why you want to check. Wink Wink.” Did she just say wink out loud, Max thought.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Ellie.” Max replied, anger bubbling up.

“Please. Everyone on this ship knows you have the hots for the Captain. Just tell her already.”

“Ellie, that is just—“

“Vicar, sir? I think you should tell her too.” Parvati appeared next to Ellie. Max rolled his eyes. “Now, listen, sometimes you need to take a chance? If the Captain hadn’t told me to take a chance, Junlei and I wouldn’t have gotten to know each other better. Just consider it.” Parvati walked away before Max could respond.

“You all can stay here but I’m going to go check on her.” Max walked over to the door and opened it to find the Captain standing on the other side. Max turned bright red. Had the Captain heard? He went to ask her how long she had been standing there when he looked down to see the huge bite mark on the Captains side, blood soaked clothes shredded around it. The Captain went to speak when her legs gave out. Max caught her just in time.

“Ellie! Get everyone now! The Captain is hurt!” Max picked the Captain up bridal style and rushed her to the cargo bay. He laid her down on the cot that was left there from the previous Captain and moved it to the middle of the bay.

 Everyone rushed down, Parvati holding all the medical supplies they had on hand. The Captain was out cold, and the bleeding was getting worse.

“Okay, first we need to clean the wound!”

“What if there’s teeth embedded in her side?! We need to make sure!”

“Then get to checkin’!”

The group quickly got to work trying to save their Captain.

 --

 Everything sounded far away. Like I was wearing ear muffs but also was several rooms away from a loud party. I tried opening my eyes but even that was too much effort. My body felt like it was hit by a train. I tried to focus on what I could hear, since that was the only thing I could do.

I think I’m in my room. I hear Max. I heard Parvati. I think I hear Felix. My hearing is starting to get less muffled.

I think I hear Felix ask how I’m doing. Someone feels my forehead. I think it’s Parvati, her hands are calloused from all the work she does.  She says my fever has gone down. Felix sighs in relief. I hear a chair pull up and someone grabs my hand, holds it. I think it’s Max. Parvati and Felix’s voices are gone now. It’s just Max.

“Why did you have to go alone?” I can barely hear him when he says this.

“Law… I will do anything you want. Anything you name it. Just let her be okay.” He lifts my hand and kisses it. He presses his forehead against my hand and just stays like that for a while. I hear him quietly cry. I want to let him know I’m okay but my body doesn’t listen. Even moving a finger seems impossible. But I’ve already beaten the impossible. I was revived on a 28% chance of survival. I needed to let Max know I’m okay.

I muster up all the strength I have, and it’s not a lot, and by some act of God or Law or whoever, I lightly squeeze his hand. Max snaps his head up and I know he’s looking at me, searching my face for a sign of life. I try my luck again, and I squeeze his hand again, weaker this time, but I manage. Max gasps lightly and lets out the breath of air he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Don’t ever go alone again.” He simply says. He kisses my forehead and I fall back asleep.

 --

 The next time I gain consciousness I’m alone. But this time I’m able to open my eyes and move. My side is killing me, my throat is dry, and I’m starved. I slowly try to sit up, swinging my legs off the side of my bed. The thing about being in space is you never really know what time it is. We’re not on Roseway anymore. I wonder if we’re in orbit or had left entirely.

 I try to stand. With the help of the chair by my bedside, I’m able to. My legs are wobbly but I’m able to keep my balance. I’ve had to have been out for days. I slowly make my way over to my door but I stop at the stairs. I really want to know where everyone is but I don’t know if I can manage the stairs. It’s only 3 steps but in the state I’m in, it might as well be 30. I decide to try to step down when the door opens to reveal Max, holding some food.

We stare at each other for what feels like forever. All the feelings crashing into us like waves at sea. I must have leaned forward too much as I start to fall forward. But I don’t hit the floor. Max catches me with ease, at the expense of the snacks he had brought for me. He holds me to his chest, but he soon is clutching me. Trying to make sure I’m real and standing in front of him. I hear his heart racing and his breathing waver. I nuzzle into his neck as a way to bring him back from his racing thoughts.

“Are you okay?” He breaks the silence. I nod against his shoulder. He slowly lifts me up and brings me back to my bed. I reluctantly let go of him when he sits on the edge of my bed.

“How does your side feel?” He lifts up the loose shirt I’m wearing to make sure there’s no bleed through.

“I’m fine.” I croak out. Right, throat is still dry.

“Let me get you something to drink.” He says, he quickly leaves the room and comes back with a cup of water, and also the snacks he dropped. He gives me the cup and I drink it slowly, not wanting to choke. I hand him the cup back.

“You really gave us a scare.” He says, looking at his hands. I look at him and sigh.

“I’m sorry. Damn Rapt came out of nowhere and then my gun jammed—“ Max looks up and there’s tears in his eyes. I shut my mouth and lean forward and pull him into a hug. He hugs me tight, making sure he doesn’t hurt my side. I rub his back. I hear him chuckle and pull away, confused.

“Look at me, you’re the one that was at death’s door and I’m the one in tears.” He wipes his tears away.

“It’s okay to feel that way, though.” I reach for his hand, squeezing it. “How long have I been out?”

“Almost a week.”

“A WEEK?!” I gape.

“Rapt saliva is quite hard to work out of the bodies system. Plus Nyoka found some medication to keep you sedated so you wouldn’t try to move or do anything while healing.” Max said, sheepishly.

“I mean, that’s for the best. I would have wanted to go hunt down that rapt and show him whose boss.” I chuckle and lay back down. Max brushes hair out of my face and caress’ me.

 “Are we going to address the elephant in the room?” I ask. Sometime the direct approach is the best. Max’s face grows pink, but he nods.

“How long have you had the hots for your Captain, Preacher Man?” I say, smirking. Max rolls his eyes at the name, but is smiling.

“It’s hard to tell. It feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime. Your courage and confidence drew me in, but your good heart and honesty were the real kicker. I do hope that this doesn’t cause any issues with me being on this ship. I understand if you would like me to return to Edgewa—“ Max’s words were hushed when I kissed him.

I pulled away to see his expression. Max was wide eyed and speechless.

“Now Max, did it ever occur to that perhaps I may like you back? Perhaps Captain also had the hots for Preacher Man?” Max smiled and pulled me into another kiss. This one deeper. I rested my hand on the side of his neck, pulling him more into the kiss. I started to lean back onto the bed when Max pulled away, concern on his face.

“I don’t want us to get ahead of ourselves, you’re still healing, remember?”

“Max, I haven’t gotten laid in over 70 years.” I pleaded. Max seemed hesitant still.

“If anything hurts, we stop.” Max stated. I nodded excitedly and grabbed him by the collar of his robes and crashed my lips against his.

Max rested one hand on the bed for support and the other on my cheek, his legs still hanging off the side of the bed. I rested a hand against his chest and the other around his neck. His lips left mine and kissed down the side of my jaw, down to my neck. I groaned lightly, and Max pulled away.

“Did that hurt?” He asked, worried.

“Max, I was moaning.” I said, flatly. He whispered “Oh” and went back to kissing my neck. I smiled to myself. He was such a goofball.

I slowly dragged my hand down his chest, down to his stomach, and then to the front of his pants. I rubbed his hard on through his pants. At that point he had stopped kissing my neck and was panting into my shoulder. I used my other hand and guided him back to my mouth so we could continue kissing. The kiss was very deep, as if he was trying to distract himself from me palming him through his pants.

Max’s free hand snaked its way up my shirt and started to massage my chest, rubbing my nipple with his thumb. I opened my mouth at the sudden feeling and Max pulled my lower lip into his mouth.

At this point, I just wanted to make Max feel good and loved, so I decided to unbutton the front of his pants and slide my hand into the front of his boxers. Max groaned when I ran my thumb over the tip, precum leaking out. Max slowly reached for my hand and pulled it away.

“I want to focus on you for a bit.” He said. He looked at me for approval to continue.

 “Yes, Vicar.” I said breathily, batting my eyelashes. I could see his eyes glaze over with what could only be pure lust. He pressed his lips to mine and devoured me. He now was fully on top of me, shoes kicked off, pants half way down his thighs.

His hand ran up my thigh and stroked my pelvic bone, making me shiver. He slowly traced the hem of my shorts, pulling them down and off, dipping his hand in. His finger traced along my slit, dipping in a finger. He growled lowly at how wet I already was.

“Is this all for me?” He asked, kissing my neck. I nodded.

“Use your voice, Darling.” He said.

“Yes,” I breathed out.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Vicar.” And with that, he began to massage my clit with such precise motions.

I cried out from how great it felt. I hadn’t been pleasured like this in so long. I wasn’t the most experienced, even when I was on Earth. Max inserting another finger brought me back from my thoughts. I held onto his arms, my head pressed back into my pillows. He moved my shirt up so that my chest was exposed and pulled my nipple into his mouth.

I was just a moaning mess soon after. Max would pump a few fingers in and out and then go back to massage my clit. I was so close. My first orgasm in over 70 years was highly anticipated. I pulled Max’s mouth back up to mine and moaned into his mouth as I rode his fingers through my orgasm.

Max rested his forehead against mine as I came down from my high. Orgasms were definitely the same as I remembered. I looked up at him through my half lidded eyes and I must have looked a mess.

“Perhaps we should stop.” Max said. The way I looked at him must have said it all as nodded.

I sat up and stood. Max tried to stand too but I pushed him back down so that he was on his back, me hovering over him.

“Your turn now.” I said. Max tried to protest but I kissed him, hand returning to his hard on. I palmed him through his boxers for a moment before slipping my hand in, stroking him.

He pulled down his boxers so I would have better access, and I gladly started to him a few more long strokes before I scooted down the bed.

Max’s eyes rolled back into his head when I licked a long strip up his dick. He gripped the bed sheets in his hand, white knuckled. I took him into my mouth and began to bob up and down. One hand found the back of my head and lightly gripped my hair. His hips began to press upwards as I would bob down. Max moaned as I ran a hand up and down his thigh.

“Darling, if we are to continue further, you must stop your beautiful movements.” Max said, clearly on the edge. I licked one last strip before looking at him. His hair was pressed to his forehead with sweat, cheeks flushed. He was so beautiful.

“If you don’t mind, I would prefer you be on the bottom, I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” He said. I shrugged and switched places with Max.

Max took his shirt off, and then mine. He was toned underneath his holy garb. I admired his body until he climbed on top of me and I looked at him. The way he looked at me took my breath away. I don’t think I’ve ever been looked at with such love.

He kissed me again as he rubbed himself along my slit. We both groaned at the feeling. He slowly entered me and I groaned loudly. He buried his head into my shoulder as he began to pump in and out of me slowly. The bed creaked with the movements, and I prayed that no one else was happening to be passing by my room. I’m sure everyone knew what was happening since Max had been gone so long now, but you didn’t need anyone to hear it.  

“Oh Law, you feel so amazing.” Max moaned into my ear. I ran my nails gently down his back. The sound of skin on skin filled the room.

“Oh, Vicar…” He was hitting all the right places. Something about being called Vicar was really turning him on. He started to thrust deeper, bottoming out. He began to kiss me again, while he snaked his hand between us and began to rub my clit.

I could feel another orgasm coming. His fingers were like magic.

I clenched around him, crying out again, moaning his name over and over.

Max began to pick up his pace, chasing after his own release.

He kissed me harshly as he came, painting my walls white. His thrusts were erratic as he came down.

He rested his head against mine as we breathed hard. He kissed my nose before pulling out, I could feel his cum leaking. He laid beside me and I cuddled into him. We stayed like that for a while before I spoke.

“So, what are we then?” I asked, suddenly nervous. I had definitely used for just sex before, but I didn’t care since I didn’t want to have a relationship. But now? I didn’t want to lose Max.

“If you’ll have me, Captain, I will be by your side until the end of my days.” Max said. I looked into his eyes to find sincerity. I cried for the first time in a long time. Max alarmingly held me and rocked me until I calmed down.

“Sorry, I just haven’t been like, loved for real, in a long time.” I said, embarrassed.

“It’s okay. I can’t wait to shower you with all the love you deserve.” Max said. The water works were about to happen again when a loud bang rang out in the room from the door. Max and I froze in place.

“Are y’all done in there? We have places to go and bits to earn!” Nyoka’s voice rang out.

“Nyoka! I just got laid for the first time in 70 years, give a bitch a break!” I yelled back. I could hear Nyoka groan in disgust and walk off.

“I suppose I should shower since I haven’t in a week.” I said, standing slowly, legs feeling like jelly. Max rose from the bed and kissed me.

“I think I better help you with that. Don’t want you to hurt yourself.” He winked, and now it was my turn to roll my eyes.  

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Road Trip ~ Tyler Seguin

A/N: IDK IF YALL CAN TELL BUT I’M REALLY IN MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW BEING LONELY BUT WANTING SOMETHING CUTE. It’s whatever though. I’ll just keep writing cute shit and hopefully you guys will still read it lmao enjoy

It was a warm summer evening in Louisiana. Tyler and I had just started our road trip and I was very excited. We were going to be traveling across the country in a van, something I never thought I’d be able to convince Ty to do with me but to my surprise he was actually excited. We had put a mattress in the back and I had decorated with lots of pillows, blankets, and christmas lights. It looked typical but it was cute. We also had a lot of snacks hidden in different compartments around the van. 

Today we’d driven from Dallas to Baton Rouge which was about a 6 hour drive. We decided to stop there and spend the next day or so exploring. We didn’t have any real plan, we were just going until we had to come back. The Stars’ season was cut short so we had a lot of time to just escape the hockey stuff and just live our lives together out here on the road.

“Ty, do you think we’re going to see a gator?”

“Well if anyone will it’s you, baby. You’ve been looking out the window in every swamp we’ve past.”

“I really like them. I just want to see one where I can still be safe from it.”

“Then why not go to a zoo (Y/N)?”

“I want to see them in the wild.”

“You’re very picky.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry sweet girl.” he said smiling at me and kissing my hand. “Maybe we’ll luck out and you’ll see an alligator.”

“I hope so. Is there anything you want to see on this trip?”

“Just my girl happy.” he said with a cheesy grin.

“Okay you sappy fuck.” I said rolling my eyes at him. 

“I’ve seen so much of this country already. I just want to experience it with you, see how you react to stuff.”

“That’s so sweet baby.” I took his hand in mine and kissed it. We were quiet for a little while just watching the sunset while we drove into the rest stop. 

“Do you want some real food?”

“What do you mean real food?”

“There’s a restaurant in here. It’s a buffet, I know how much you like all you can eat.” he said with a cocky grin on his face.

“Tyler!” I exclaimed laughing and hitting his shoulder.

“What?! Where’s the lie babygirl?” he asked winking at me.

“You’re the woooorst.”

“Look at you blushing. I haven’t had you doing that using just embarrassing words in a long time.”

“That’s because you haven’t been that blunt about it in a long time.”

“Sounds like you’re taming me baby. Don’t know how I feel about that.”

“Ty, you’re Miley Cyrus.”

“Sorry what?”

“Can’t be tamed.” I said giggling as he threw his head back and groaned.

“That was awful.”

“It was funny.”

“If you say so babe.” he rolled his eyes making me laugh again. “Do you want food or no?”

“Not right now love. I’ve been eating a lot of snacks.”

“Okay then let’s just hangout for a bit? I’m not ready for bed yet.”

“I thought you were sleepy from driving?”

“I am but I’m not ready to be done with today.”

“And why is that?” I asked turning in my seat to face him. He grabbed my hand brought it up to his lips giving me small kisses.

“Because I have my beautiful girl all to myself and today has just been incredible. I love you.”

“Baby I love you too but has today really been that incredible? I mean we just drove. And the road trip is just starting, it’s not exciting yet.”

“Do you want to lay on the roof and look at the stars?”

“Always.” I said smiling brightly at him. We got out of our seats and went to the back. He opened the sliding roof and gave me a boost up out of the window before climbing out too. We laid there in the summer heat just looking at the galaxies above us on the clear night. I couldn’t help but look over at him and admire Tyler in the moonlight. He looked beautiful, like always, but it was different somehow. I’d never seen him so calm. While I was lost in thought he caught me starring making me blush while he smiled sweetly kissing my hand again.

“Can I tell you why today’s been incredible?” he asked looking deep into my eyes.

“Of course Tyler.”

“You’ve been here for me nonstop after the season ended. I was so down and out that I didn’t want anyone around. Through all the snarky comments and bitching you still stuck around and helped me. Then when I was really just closing in on myself and isolating myself from everyone including you, you brought me outside to show me this dumb van and pulled me out of it for an incredible adventure. Just like how everything with you has been an incredible adventure.” 

“Tyler..” 

“Everything I do with you is incredible. But the way that you always know just what to do or say to help me and bring me back to real life, back to this moment in time is amazing. I was so out of it. I didn’t care about anything but as soon as I started packing to go on this trip with you all I could think about was how excited I was to be spending so much time with you. You pulled me out of a pit.”

“You just seemed so upset. I couldn’t just leave you like that Ty. I love you, I’m not going to let you shut yourself in a pit or whatever. We’re a team, love.” 

“Sometimes it feels like you’re the head of this team.” he said with a smile. “Maybe even the coach.”

“Tyler come on you do a lot for me too. Don’t act like this is all one sided.”

“I know it’s not one sided, it just has been recently.”

“That’s okay I don’t mind.”

“See that’s why you’re amazing. How don’t you mind? I’ve been so distant and awful and your response was to plan a trip for me to get my mind off things.”

“Sometimes it can’t be a 50/50 partnership. Sometimes things happen and it’s more like 80/20 and that’s okay. Most of the time it’s pretty equal so I don’t care if after something super upsetting happens to you that you need a little more effort. You’re worth the extra effort Tyler.”

“If you don’t stop I’m actually going to cry.” he said laughing but his voice cracked.

“Aw baby don’t cry. I just love you so much.” I rolled so I was half leaning over him. He put his hands on my waist and smiled at me. I could see his eyes filling with water. “Oh my god you are gonna cry.”

“I’m sorry, just no one has ever loved me like you do.” he let a tear slip down his cheek and I gently wiped it away with a soft smile. He held my hand gently to his face. “And I’m positive that no one ever will again.”

“Oh Ty come on.” I said rolling my eyes blushing.

“No. I mean it. I know for 100% certain that no one is ever even going to get the chance.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m so gone for you (Y/N). I want to marry you.”

“You what?” I asked in shock. He laughed at my response.

“I want to marry you.”

“I thought you never wanted to get married? We’ve talked about it.”

“I never thought I’d feel like this about another person. I never understood what people meant when they said that they couldn’t live without someone and wanting to make them theirs forever. I understand now. I didn’t want to be tied down at all until I met you. But when I met you and we started getting closer..everything just shifted.”

“Tyler, you’re going to make me cry.. And this isn’t like some dumb joke right?”

“Never. I wouldn’t joke about this. I want to marry you so bad. I want to pledge my love for you in front of our family, friends, and God. Promise them I’m always going to love and care for you.”

“You sap.” I said laughing wiping away tears.

“Says the one who’s crying.” he grinned at me leaning up to give me a kiss.

“Don’t know what you were expecting. I cry at everything.”

“I know. It’s cute.”

“Pfft liar.” I kissed him again but it didn’t really work since we couldn’t stop smiling.

“So does this mean you want to marry me too?”

“Ty, it’s all I’ve wanted for a while.”

“A while huh?”

“Yeah. That’s the reason I brought it up before. I wanted to know where you stood though so I didn’t scare you away. I’ve always wanted to get married. I want to marry you though. Have for months.”

“I have a confession.”

“Yes?” I asked feeling very suspicious.

“I may or may not have bought an engagement ring already.”

“Tyler!” I exclaimed loudly.

“Shh babe people are sleeping.”

“Tyler!” I whisper yelled at him making him laugh.

“Hey I said may or may not. I could be lying.”

“But you aren’t.”

“No I’m not.” we were quiet for awhile just watching the stars and enjoying small kisses here and there.

“So was this a proposal then?”

“God no, come on (Y/N) give me some credit. I have a whole cute-ass plan for when we get home to propose. This is just a pre-proposal I guess.”

“You’re so funny. I can’t wait to be for real engaged to you instead of ‘pre-engaged.’” I made air quotes making him laugh and kiss me again.

“I can’t wait for you to have my last name. That’ll be my biggest accomplishment to date.”

“I think you’ve done other things that might be above marrying me.”

“Like what the NHL? Babe that’s my whole life but trust me you’re more than that. Getting someone like you to marry me is going to be a huge accomplishment for me. The only way to beat it would be to have a kid with you or something and even then it might be a tie.”

“I’m so glad we decided to do this. I don’t think I would’ve seen such a sappy Tyler if we had stayed home.”

“You wouldn’t have. I don’t even think I would’ve talked at all at home.”

“I love you baby.”

“I love you.” he said giving me another soft kiss before we dissolved back into silence. Once I was tired we went back into the van and got ready for bed. We curled up together sharing ‘I love yous’ and kisses until we fell asleep. Going to bed knowing that Tyler loved me that much really made it the best sleep I’d had in a long time and I dreamed all night of my future with him. It looked bright.

[autisticstarseed]

sorry to sound cringe or w/e the fuck but. half the fandom shit you all whine abt being unhealthy is fully normal behavior, we’ve just gotten too used to hiding our like. basic humanity from each other? fiction affects people yall, its supposed to do that, you are supposed to read a story and feel smth, its supposed to engage you, thats 100% how it works, being invested in a fantasy world is literally..... just normal human shit and what fiction straight up exists to do. like. we’ve done it for a while now. we have imagination for a reason. we are supposed to use it in our daily lives. its a human skill. literally why would ppl even make stories if not to impact others. you all cannot in the same fucking breath agree, that certain content which harms others and glorifies awful shit is wrong and should be retaliated against because fiction ofc affects reality, and then go on to do your stupid whiny funnyman fandom cringe bullshit any time you decide people are letting themselves have too much fun in a way that makes you uncomfortable but doesnt hurt you. 

like sdjfjsdf okay we get it you dont have interests outside of the 5-10 tumblr accepted ones, you’re a cool unfeeling social media robot that acts like every other dumbass jester craving validation for being abrasive and uncharming to the rest of society but hey at least you can make a shitpost right i get it i get it sure, but its truly not my job to keep validating your personality of being a hypercritical nihilist and i need for you to understand. it is normal. to like media. many different kinds of media. it all exists for people to like it. stop exaggerating and strawmanning every single person you come across that expresses their interests in a divergent way as this like. horribly unhealthy disconnected nerd who is LOST in a fantasy TM and lives in their basement and jerks off to their waifu instead of talking to real people and is ~hurting themselves~ with their lack of social endeavors or w/e. thats not fucking real you idiot passion is regular, its not anybody elses fault you killed yours off bc you wanted to make certain ppl think ur cool. its normal to project, its normal to feel emotional attachments, its normal to ‘let yourself’ like the ‘cringe’ medias, its normal to buy merch or make your own, its normal to make long and depthful content (forreal so much of this ‘support’ for the hard work of artistry can be so conditional and hollow from you guys), its normal to discuss stories from a realism standpoint because again thats generally the intention, and its. just normal to like shit that isnt real sometimes. it rly is. ideas and thoughts can be valuable. fantasies arent completely worthless.

‘’escaping reality’’ with distraction and immersion Can become unhealthy but it doesnt mean you are literally incapable of having critical depthful valuable thoughts on the reality you live in just bc you find daily joy in something unreal as well and you are honest to god the weird one if you cant get that. especially if you try to use peoples harmless passions as a way to like. jab at their harmless identities or their harmless appearance or their harmless fucking ‘i think harmless behaviors should be supported and left alone’ stances. like wow i am ever so fucking Sorry that the CRAZY TM su kins and marvel stim blogs and theatre kids and tiktok cosplayers creating all this cringey content thats meaningful to them and full of effort and passion just Really truly gives you hives bc of your wretched personality and weird fabricated dramatic assumptions abt their personal life and your inability to positively socialize with nonjudgmental people anymore but like honestly at least they act like a real person and their art and fun matters more to me than your bratty cringe feelings ok those mean dick to me they hold no value in my mind and they dont have to its not my responsibility to baby you for your judgments they dont even equate imo like oh my god just go get some interests you loser maybe it’ll cure your bastarditis !