#someone get xiao off the roof hes scaring the civilians

[sockendrache]

Headcanon that the Tsaritsa is perpetually crying

Hear me out:

for some reason I imagine that the Tsaritsa is constantly crying- not even with the typical ‘crying noises’. Just, always shedding tears.

1, because it makes me feel all mushy to imagine the Archon of Love constantly crying for her people

2, because it’s kinda funny

Y’know. Snezhnaya is fucking COLD, Childe says you ‘freeze to death’ if you keep standing around. So her tears just freeze instantly and fall on the ground like little glass pearls, and whenever the Tsaritsa goes you just hear the constant clatter of her tears

Imagine if she really just can’t control it, and she’s having some kinda serious meeting with her Harbingers, while the space on the table before her just slowly fills up with frozen tears.

(Dottore keeps reaching over and grabbing a few of them to snack on. Pierro thinks it’s inappropriate to consume the tears of her Majesty, the Tsaritsa doesn’t mind; she’s got plenty to go around.)

People slip on them all the time (most notably Childe lol) because the whole floor in the Palace is covered in them.

Imagine if she has to leave Snezhnaya for some kinda diplomatic bullshit, like. She’s meeting up with Zhongli in Liyue to, idk, discuss their contract, and Zhongli invites her to some tea.

So, they’re sitting in like, idk, Xinyue Kiosk and do important business talk. Xiao squats out on the roof incase something happens (wasn’t Zhongli’s idea. Xiao just showed up and he didn’t have the heart to turn him away.) Childe and Signora sit on either side of the Tsaritsa. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe it.

Then... her Majesty clears her throat. “This... tea.”, she says, staring at the cup with an expression that could be disgust or curiosity. Or both- probably both.

“...yes? Is there something wrong with it? It is a herbal blend from-”

“No, no, it’s quite lovely. But... is it just me, or does it have a slightly... salty note?”

Zhongli looks stunned. (Salty Herbal tea?? Xiangling might be interested in this)

 Next to her, Signora does that ‘nose exhale’ laugh.

Childe slowly puts down his chopsticks (he’s not eating anything. just... practicing.), looks between the cup of tea and her Majesty.

“...your Majesty. The tea is salty because you’re crying right into it.”

“Ah. Yes, I suppose that’s the case.”

Zhongli pours her a new cup of tea. Signora wordlessly starts freezing the Tsaritsa’s tears before they ruin her tea again. Childe (not so subtly) collects the frozen tears in a bag for Dottore to eat later.

Xiao is still sitting on the roof.