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trensu · 4 years

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Episode 33: The One where WWX Needs to Stop Touching Swords of the Un-Sexy Kind

So we start the episode with MAXIMUM PAIN

JC is crying and shaking and clinging to jyl’s dead body and I WANT TO DIE

Plus side, wwx grabbed the guy who stabbed jyl and choked him to death

Now wwx is surrounded by all the stupid idiots that comprise the cultivator world and they’re all hurling insults and accusations at him and MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS JUST HAVING A BREAKDOWN

We get a shot of lwj who is fighting tooth and nail against the cultivators but he’s surrounded and can’t get to wwx

Also, just so you all know, LWJ HAS THE BEST FIGHT SCENES. He just stopped two blades at once and knocked the guys down

Oh noooo, wwx pulls out his demon flute and starts playing! Resentful energy starts going even more crazy!

Lwj: wei ying, stop!

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL

AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE

Wwx is crying as he’s playing and i’m DYING INSIDE

Oh no! Wwx just spat a bunch of blood

Lwj sees him spit out the blood

AND SUDDENLY THEIR SONG IS PLAYING ON A CELLO, ALL SLOW, AND IT HURTS SO MUCH TO HEAR IT PLAYED THIS WAY

While lwj is distracted by the sight of his soulmate breaking down some ASSHOLE ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND AND CUTS HIS ARM

He takes him down and then slides effortlessly into another attack that manages to legit slice some dude’s neck open

OUR BOY IS NOT HOLDING BACK AT ALL, FOLKS

SO FAR LWJ’S MAD FIGHTING SKILLS ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME TOGETHER

Oh no

Wwx just pulled out Plot Device 2 after getting the high ground, and lwj is watching him from below as he does this

Wwx: since you want it so much, come take it with your own ability

And he just chucks it to the crowd

We get to see all the greed and desire for power from all the cultivators here as they start cutting each other down to get their hands on this thing

It disgusts me

Now wwx is laughing BUT IT IS NOT HAPPY LAUGHTER. IT IS DESPERATE GRIEVING LAUGHTER, I HATE IT SO MUCH

AND LWJ IS WATCHING WITH A HELPLESS LOOK ON HIS FACE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WWX IS AT THE CLIFF

THAT ONE CLIFF WE HATE

I CAN’T DO THIS

OH GOD

Lwj: wei ying, come back

He says this so softly and full of desperation

He’s so scared

But wwx just steps back more, closer to the cliff’s edge and HE’S CRYING AND JUST LETS HIMSELF FALL

LWJ FUCKING LUNGES FOR HIM

OH GOD I CAN’T DO THIS

I CAN’T

Lwj barely manages to grab him in time and he grips him tight in his hand with all his might

Wwx looks so surprised, completely shocked that someone would try to save him at this point

Lwj, on the other hand, has a grim determined look on his face. He caught his soulmate, just barely, but he caught him and he will not let go!!

Wwx: lan zhan

There’s blood streaming down lwj’s hand from the wound on his arm and it’s just pouring over wwx’s hand

Wwx just hangs there limply, making no move to pull himself up towards lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, let me go

NONONONONONONO

Lwj’s grip SLIPS FOR A SECOND THAT GIVES ME A FREAKING HEART ATTACK but he manages to adjust his grip and clutch at him HARDER

He hasn’t said a word! He hasn’t said anything bc he’s focusing everything he has on holding onto wwx

Then we see jc striding into the scene and I’M DYING I’M DYING THIS IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD

Jc gets to lwj’s side and looms over the both of them

Wwx: jiang cheng…

And wwx for a split second looks happy; he’s happy to see his brother bc it’s his brother, the guy who’s been with him since they were children

But jc draws his sword and glares at him

And that joy peters off into pained acceptance bc wwx thinks he deserves this

Nononononononononononono my yunmeng bros don’t do this to me, please no

Lwj: Jiang Wanyin, stop it!

LWJ IS SAYING THIS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH BC HE SAW JC DRAW HIS SWORD

HE SEES HIM AIMING IT THREATENINGLY AT HIS SOULMATE

AND HE DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH OR ABILITY TO BLOCK HIM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE CAN’T LET GO OF WWX

Jc takes his sword and tells wwx to go to hell and strikes the stone between lwj and wwx

It’s enough to wobble where lwj is at and wwx SEES this and panics

HE WILL NOT BRING LAN ZHAN DOWN WITH HIM

So he yanks his arm from lwj’s grip and lets himself fall

Lwj: WEI YING

AND WE HEAR LWJ SHOUT HIS SOULMATE’S NAME. IT’S FULL OF DESPAIR BC HIS SOULMATE IS LOST TO HIM NOW

AND HIS FACE IS JUST ALL DEVASTATION AND HEARTBREAK

KILL ME KILL ME IT HURTS TOO MUCH

And then the camera pulls back and lwj looks so small standing on that cliff as jc just walks away

Lwj: wei ying

He says his soulmate’s name one last time in a pained gasp, like he can’t get enough air in his lungs, like breathing hurts, bc EVERYTHING HURTS, HE JUST LOST HIS SOULMATE

And then before, i can spiral into a nervous breakdown from the sheer ENORMITY OF EMOTIONS THIS SHOW JUST SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT...

We get a time skip!

~16 years later~

The scene opens to lwj playing ~their song~ on the guqin

Oh god it sounds so beautiful

It’s played in a way that sounds soothing and peaceful

Probably to keep the audience from finding a cliff and taking a dive…

Also, this is the first time we see lwj with his hair down! Or at least it doesn’t have a fancy hairpiece in it; it’s still tied back a bit tho

It’s a fucking travesty that we don’t get to see his hair like this more often. He looks so freaking soft here…

In fact everything looks so soft here: out of focus shots of wwx and lwj, a breeze gently rustling the curtains…

It really is just what i needed to recover from what happened like, two seconds ago, tho, so kudos to the showrunners

Now we get a quick series of flashbacks to mo xuanyu, the juniors, etc etc

The show’s like hey guys, remember 30 episodes ago we started telling a different story with a whole bunch of other characters??

Yeah, we didn’t think so, let us remind you real quick

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING THE WHOLE TIME

Okay, we’re back at present-day Ancient Fantasy China and wwx just starts regaining consciousness

Of course the first thing he does is tenderly watch lwj play their love song

Wwx: sixteen years...it feels like a dream

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THAT THE FLUTE PART OF THEIR SONG STARTS UP AS SOON AS WWX STARTS TO SPEAK

Lwj: you’re awake

I AM HAVING FEELINGS

MUCH LESS PAINFUL FEELINGS THAN 5 MINUTES AGO, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF THEM AND IDK WHAT TO DO

Lwj continues to play on his guqin

Wwx: i never thought i could still be alive

Lwj: the day you fell of the cliff, jc insisted on searching for your body but he could only see the bones of the dead

Wwx: what about you? Have you ever tried looking for me?

Of COURSE HE FUCKING DID YOU’RE HIS SOULMATE WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS GOING TO DO, OH MY GOD

Lwj: three years later, i went there but there were no bones left

God, they’re both speaking so gently to each other

like they can’t quite believe they’re able to have this conversation, that this reunion is happening at all.

Wwx: why three years later?

Lwj’s hands freeze over the guqin when he asks this

Lwj: these 16 years…

NOTICE HOW LWJ POINTEDLY DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Wwx: if i say i don’t know where i was these last 16 years, will you believe me?

Lwj: yes, i believe you

His voice is all soft and full of feeling

Wwx: lan zhan, did you really believe me back then?

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THEY’RE SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER EVER SO SOFTLY AND TENDERLY AND GENTLE-LIKE?? I AM FULL TO THE BRIM WITH EMOTIONS RN

WWX IS TEARY EYED THE WHOLE TIME, MY HEART MY HEART

Oh, now we cut to a freaking beautiful shot of lwj sitting on a rock with his guqin on his lap, surrounded by trees and a waterfall

HE’S FUCKING GLOWING IN THIS SHOT

And my god the scenery in this show is just so fucking gorgeous

Like, how did they make it so beautiful???

We cut back to wwx and watch as wwx steps out of the Silence Room (aka the jingshi, aka LWJ’S BEDROOM) and starts wandering the Cloud Recesses

And i’m here like ummm? Where’s your mask wwx? YOU’RE WANDERING THE CLOUD RECESSES PRETTY CONFIDENTLY THERE WITHOUT YOUR MASK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING.

We do get cute little flashbacks as wwx reminisces about the last time he was here tho

It’s bittersweet

Oh, he’s coming up to the library pavilion and ~THEIR SONG~ starts playing again!

WE FLASHBACK TO ANGRY BB!LWJ

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS AND LITTLE THEY ARE HERE.

BABIES, THEY’RE ALL BABIES HERE.

Y’KNOW, BEFORE THEY GET HIT WITH ALL THAT WAR AND LOSS AND EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Now we cut to wwx wandering the back hills of the cloud recesses and there are bunnies!!! HELLO BUNNIES, WE MISSED YOU~!

Wwx picks up one of the bunnies and starts petting them

Wwx: little bunny, do you remember me?

SO CUTE, I DIE.

Wwx: i didn’t know that you were still being kept here after so many years!

He’s holding the bunny so gently and petting them AHHHH

Wwx: didn’t that fuddy duddy say he didn’t like you?

HE SMILES SO SWEETLY AT THE PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNNY

Wwx finishes his time with the bunny and casually makes his way towards the cold spring

HALF NAKED LWJ

WET HALF NAKED LWJ

CHILLING IN THE COLD SPRING BEING TOTALLY GAY

Oh, but when wwx realizes who’s in the cold spring, he gets this pleased little smile on his face!!

That smile slips right off his face tho when he sees that lwj’s back is littered with scars

The music here gets all low and ominous here too.

Wwx’s brows get all furrowed and his mouth drops open in shock

Wwx: whips?

Lwj turns around and sees wwx standing there

he seems pretty surprised to see wwx there, actually, his eyes widen and everything

When he does this HE REVEALS THE WEN BRAND BURNED INTO HIS CHEST RIGHT WHERE WWX HAD IT BURNED INTO HIM IN THE MURDER TURTLE CAVE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wwx lets out a little gasp and jerks back in shock when he sees it

At that, lwj immediately flicks his gaze downward and to the side in an obviously nervous gesture

He robes up pretty quickly from here (like REALLY quickly)

Wwx is still staring at him with his eyes all wide but not in a “omg hot naked dude” way; more in a “oh no, what happened?!” sort of way

Side note to mention I LOVE HOW LWJ LOOKS WITH WET HAIR, IDK WHY BUT I DO

Lwj: you’re awake

Wwx: lan zhan, the whips on your back...

Lwj: *looks down and doesn’t answer*

Wwx: you have always been a model among the disciples. What on earth have you done to deserve such a severe punishment?

His brow is all furrowed and he looks almost angry

But his voice is soft and serious and full of concern

And i’m sitting here like, OH BOY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION WWX

Wwx: lan zhan, answer me

WHAT IF HE DOESN’T ANSWER, WWX? HMMM? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN?

REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME HE DEMANDED YOU ANSWER HIM AND YOU GOT ALL MEAN AND SNARKY?

BECAUSE I DO

I’M STILL NOT OVER IT, THAT WAS REALLY MEAN OF YOU

Lwj: *pointedly stays silent and keeps his gaze lowered*

And here the some lan disciples interrupt before we can get any answers

They’re here to give us Plot, how dare they

Apparently lqr got himself in trouble; couldn’t control a spirit or smth. What a rookie.

But we don’t care bc he’s wwx’s nemesis lol

Wwx and lwj rush over to the “Underworld Chamber” where lqr is at

Yes, they have a building called the Underworld Chamber bc the lan clan specializes in dramatics i guess

And also, somehow between the cold spring to the underworld chamber, lwj’s hair dries completely and he has it all done up again with his snazzy silver hairpiece??

Which, actually, is freaking hilarious if you think about it

Like, oh, gotta go save my uncle but if he sees me so disheveled he’ll make me write lines for sure...better get myself dolled up before i arrive there

Wwx does his cool magic talisman thing to bust open the doors of the dramatically named chamber and then locks the doors up behind them once he and lwj get in

Lwj looks very worried about his uncle, who is currently swooned into the arms of some rando lan disciple

Lwj immediately takes over the guqin bc he’s the Guqin Master and starts playing Magic Music

and the possessed sword is floating in the middle of the room exuding Bad Vibes™

Wwx whips out his shoddy flute and starts playing the Magic Music too bc it’s DUET TIME, BABY

Lol lqr immediately starts groaning when he hears the flute start up

Wwx’s like oh shit, lqr will recognize me if i play masterfully as i usually do so he switches from playing Magic Music to playing ~Their Song~ but, like, horribly??? It’s terrible terrible flute playing.

(also, like, i know they’re all acting, none of them know how to actually play the instruments their characters play but here i’m like ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?? DO THOSE FINGERINGS BELONG TO ANY ACTUAL NOTES???)

(I know i wasn’t the greatest at playing the flute in high school--okay, i was actually a pretty shitty flutist BUT EVEN I CAN TELL THAT THOSE FINGERINGS ARE BULLSHIT)

(okay i’m done yelling about the flute-playing now)

AND LOL LWJ’S FACE IS LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE OUR LOVE SONG THAT WAY

Lqr: stop the flute! Get out!!

I’M D Y I N G LOLOLOL

Wwx stops playing and looks at lqr like, yikes

Lqr: no more…

And then he passes out like a drama queen omg

Wwx looks at lwj like “oops, sorry about your uncle??”

But after lqr is very much unconscious he starts playing Magic Music well again

So that all happens and eventually the sword spirit chills out and clatters to the floor

It’s still very obviously exuding Bad Vibes™ and doing this creepy whisper thing so of course wwx is like IMMA GRAB IT

OMG WWX STOP TOUCHING SCREAMING SWORDS

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING JFC

Yeah so for some reason, wwx thinks it’s a good idea to touch the possessed sword and it starts screaming at him obvs and he starts to shake

Lwj is watching him all worriedly

The screaming seems to overwhelm wwx bc he’s flung back STRAIGHT INTO LWJ’S ARMS

Like, no hesitation. Lwj IMMEDIATELY catches him all tenderly as he falls

We cut back to the silence room with lwj at lqr’s bedside, checking his meridians/spiritual energy/whatever the hell

He’s very focused but all the juniors are cheeping at him like baby birds, it’s adorable

Except one of the juniors starts talking about the possibility of the yiling patriarch possessing someone and lwj opens his eyes and glares at him

HE GLARES SO HARD

AND ALL THE JUNIORS DUCK THEIR HEADS IN SHAME

Lwj dismisses them

Lwj: sizhui, go to bed

Lsz: but dad!!

Lwj: say no more, go

Lsz: yes father

I LOVE DADJI AND LSZ MOMENTS, I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS EXCHANGE

Lsz leaves and bumps into wwx who’s lounging casually outside that building. It’s night time. He’s dressed all in black. Wearing a mask. He looks sketchy af is what i’m saying.

Like, you choose NOW to wear a mask?? WHERE WAS THAT MASK EARLIER???

Wwx: are you okay, random junior that i’m fond of for some unknown reason?

And lsz opens up to him and starts being all Clever and talking Plot Points

Wwx is watching him puzzle this out and he’s so proud and impressed with lsz

Wwx: good analysis, it seems you’ve studied really hard!

More plot talk and then lsz is all why are you wearing a mask again?

Wwx: i’m afraid of being seen by some old friends…

“FRIENDS” LOLOL YEAH OKAY

Cut to a new scene. It’s morning time!

Lwj is staring longingly at wwx

Wwx: you’re not suspecting me are you? I’ve been sleeping for 16 years.

HELLO DENSE!WWX. CAN’T SAY THAT I’VE MISSED YOUR OBLIVIOUSNESS

HE’S OBVIOUSLY USING EVERY OUNCE SELF RESTRAINT TO NOT GRAB YOU AND KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU

Also, is this how he’s coping with being dead and resurrected? Pretending he took an extended nap?? this is a crowley approved coping mechanism, and i too approve of extended naps

Lwj: of course i believe you

Now they’re doing Plot Talk but we’re not gonna go into detail

Instead we’re going to enjoy their general proximity to each other and watch their pretty beautiful gorgeous faces as they bask in each other’s presence and talk smart with their wonderful voices

*dreamy sigh*

WWX IS BEING CLEVER

AND LWJ IS KEEPING UP WITH HIS CLEVERNESS

AND THEY REACH THE SAME CONCLUSION AND SAY IT OUT LOUD SIMULTANEOUSLY

BC THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES

(their conclusion has to do with Xue Yang and Plot Device 1 that may have something to do with Plot Device 2?? Only mentioning it vaguely bc it becomes relevant to wangxiantics later. We don’t need to know more than this lol)

Ooh, the end of their Plot Talk wwx says something about how whoever planted the sword ghost is obviously coming after him

Like, he realizes that he’s the target (presumably; i suppose it’s a reasonable assumption for him to make at this point). He stares off into the distance totally accepting of becoming the target again

But lwj gazes at him like OVER MY DEAD BODY IS ANYONE GONNA TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, I JUST GOT YOU BACK!!

Maybe i’m projecting bc OVER MY DEAD BODY AM I LETTING ANYONE HURT MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY AGAIN,. COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN/WOMAN/NB PERSON

Now they’re back at the Underworld Chamber where the sword ghost (sans sword) is just chillin there and it’s all glowy and blue instead of smoky black.

Blah blah PLOT blah blah Follow the sword ghost blah blah Find sword ghost’s owner blah blah

Oh, and here lwj says they’re going on a trip together for Plot Reasons

Wwx is very excited about it. He hops and LEANS HARD into lwj.

Like, he’s putting weight into it guys, just getting all up close and personal with lwj’s strong sturdy shoulder~!

Wwx: i finally won’t be controlled by the strict rules here!

UM EXCUSE ME???

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER FOLLOWED THEIR RULES, WWX

WHEN

NAME ONE TIME

GO AHEAD, I’LL WAIT.

Lwj steps back slightly and wwx barely catches himself in time, it’s GREAT.

GUYS, OUR BOYS ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER AGAIN

ON A MISSION

TOGETHER!!

SIDE BY SIDE!

TO HUNT DOWN EVIL!

TOGETHER!!

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES BEFORE ALL THE ANGST AND TRAUMA HAPPENED!!!

Look at our boys! Together! In qinghe!! Qinghe brings back so many fond memories!

They go into town to explore

Lol, we meet a mountebank selling portraits of the yiling patriarch that are supposed to ward off evil

Wwx gets distracted by him and stays behind to chat while lwj keeps going

Wwx inspects the portraits and is SUPER DISAPPOINTED AND OFFENDED

THOSE PORTRAITS PHYSICALLY PAIN HIM

Wwx: the yiling patriarch was famous for his good looks! Who are these losers?? If you never saw the actual person, don’t draw randomly!! Stop misleading the younger generation! THEY HAVE TO KNOW HOW PRETTY I AM

Ah, poor wwx. Nobody can capture his beautiful perfect face.

SURPRISE JIN LING!!

ANGRY LITTLE BOY

KNOCKING DOWN THE POOR INNOCENT MOUNTEBANK

He’s all, that guy should be grateful all i did was kick him. I will kill anyone who mentions the yiling patriarch around me!!

Lol he’s such a brat, i love him.

Wwx: *internally* i wonder how his personality turned out this way. Poor temper, strong hostility. He learned all his uncle’s and father’s defects but none of his mother's strengths. If i don’t start working on him now, he’ll definitely suffer in the future…

LOOK AT WWX BEING A CONCERNED UNCLE!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Except he hasn’t had much practice being an uncle so he brings up the time he pinned him to the ground with a talisman

Jin ling gets offended...

Aaaand here comes FAIRY THE WONDER DOG!!

Wwx hears the dog barking and making their way towards him AND FLIPS THE FUCK OUT

HE RUNS AWAY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

IT’S HILARIOUS

And we end on that high note.

Talk about emotional whiplash.

How can you make me want to tear my heart out of my own chest at the beginning and 40ish minutes later have me giggling like a loon??

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