#someone who actively CHOOSES kindness and love and hope ESP in the face of The Horrors

[moe-broey]

Me, losing my absolute mind over the fairies and the greater implications of it all and the intricacies I swear to fucking god are there I swear to fucking GOD there's way more to them than meets the eye and I'm going to fucking get all the alts I fucking can so I can study The Lore and I'll fucking get to the fucking bottom of it all --

.............. you know what. A nap does sound nice.

[gg-astrology]

Can I request a Capricorn sun Virgo moon combo?? There isn't much on them and I love your in depth descriptions 💕 (my ascendant is libra if that's important lol)

Aaaaah I’ll love to help out!! 💜💜 As for your asc here’s a post about it:

Libra ASC ❤️

I’ll do the Capricorn-Virgo moon combo now!💜💜

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Virgo Moon 🍯]

The Grind Never Stops

With the mental busybody attitude of Virgo combined with Capricorn-- this is the kind of person who would be restless staying ~relaxed~ for a long time thus they’re always on the Grind, finding something to be Interested in and Do 

Likes to be stimulated, or at least like moving. It can be something as simple as moving from the bed to the couch, or noticing the stain in the kitchen counter and then taking the time to clean it off, finding a hobby or activity they could enjoy alone/spend their time productively

Most Virgos aren’t like-- super cleanly people anyways, but with the Capricorn/Virgo combination they’re most likely to be ‘busy’ because they’re bored.

Boredom is essentially-- their biggest enemy, with nothing to do/pursue in their immediate horizon, these people get restlessly frustrated with their freedom and needs to like-- find SOMETHING to work on/add to their talents

They’re either always learning/studying something, or they just have to do/run around and do chores in order to keep busy

It’s never a good idea for a Capricorn/Virgo to stay still for long and while sometimes its like ‘hey social interactions :)))’ for friends (rejoice!!) -- most of the time they just-- do things alone/at their own time-pace y know ( ‘oh we’re uninvited :((’) 

They’re adamantly self-sufficient, stubbornly independent. They don’t need you but you kinda need them. The type of people who’ll probably self-study or read self-help books, and take up a new hobby. 

Probably search the internet ---wikihow/youtube tutorials to do things--- rather than ask someone else to teach them/guide them 

Although they’re quite self-sufficient, and is mostly willing to give you some tips/guidelines if they care about you. If you bother them too much, they can get frustrated with ur lack of self-sufficiency and that is the start of a ranting session 

If there’s any placement that can be considered practical, pragmatic and demonstrative-- it’s this one. They’re systematic and methodical, have their own ways of doing things/their own methods and techniques, can be sly, street-smart, cunning. But most often than not-- they’re very protective of their private space/autonomous being

You can’t force them to be in a group, they have to choose to do so. You can’t force them to abide by societal norms/assume things about them, they’ll hate being ‘assumed’ things about or losing control of certain things.

It’s like....sometimes Capricorn/Virgo doesn’t even like people doing stuff for them, they’ll just look at you and say ‘did I ask for this??’ because thats the kind of person they are--- independently self-sufficient. To the point where they want to have a say, an in, a voice in whatever it is they want/do/going to get.

These people would be the kind to say no to dirty money, dishonest plans or anything of the like just because it goes against their control/way of doing things. 

I’m not saying they’re morally upright all the time, I’m just saying that if they don’t feel like they’re working for something that’s going to be personally fulfilling to them (emotionally, Virgo moon -- productive/efficient energy) -- they’re the kind of people who values themselves/their own fulfillment more than the end results.

Sometimes you see them turning down absurd once in a life time opportunities/deals  -- mostly because the cost of it out-weighs their emotional gain. They’re in the search for fulfillment, and if it’s going to cost more than what will make them feel best (or can handle) in themselves-- then these people won’t likely say yes to it.

They’d rather cut the problem at the stem than wait for it to blossom and hurt others/them, which can--- y know, make them really blunt and straight-forward individuals. Sometimes it comes out harshly because they’re just so straight-to-the-point, although Capricorn/Virgos will generally try to explain their truths/honesty out so the other person get that they don’t mean any harm.

If it’s something they’re avoiding, or procrastinating from-- then these Capricorn/Virgo has a habit of looking the other direction and acting busy with other things instead of dealing with their own situation. Denial and conscious ignoring of something is strong in this one, and they’d rather fall into existential dread/cold sweat as the times grows longer-- than having to deal with something on the get go (esp. emotions)

Disassociation-- like mentally disconnect and you can see it physically in their face is also a hallmark of Capricorn/Virgo. They’re the type where they get anxious/frantic and feel dread creeping up their backs/necks-- they turn light/playful try to elevate the situation so they don’t freak out ( ‘ this is fine’ ) -- they have a habit of making things more serene, calming when they’re actually panicking. It’s like their default to panic is to just-- meditate and keep this posture that if they can ‘fake it then they’ll make it’

If there’s any advice i can give to them, is that you’ll notice that you’re sensitive to your own failures. You’re very critical of yourself, and you’re motivated by your own fears/insecurities. Striving to be perfectionist at something, but indecisive and can sometimes throw yourself (cut yourself off) into a job/work/project. 

You are sometimes a little too harsh, and can’t understand what it means to fail and be ok with something. Your pride, ego and hallmark are put on your achievements, pursuits and your success in life. Thus sometimes, when you invest so much into something-- it’s the fear/self-limitations that makes you nervous/cower and motivates you to do more things to ‘prevent’ failure from happening 

Accepting yourself and being nice to yourself is hard, in a way that you’ll need to learn how to be ok with not having material success all the time. You’ll need to learn how to not be prudent/frugal with your interests, instead of sharpening your focus in one direction and cutting everything else off-- you will need to know how to find balance and harmony with giving importance (emotionally, psychologically and spiritually importance) to everything else as well

Broad-- not narrow, which you can sometimes do. Learn how to accept yourself so that you can accept others too.

I hope this helps!! 💜💜💜 

[onghwangs]

now i'm curious! who's your personal top 11 vs what you want the top 11 to be?

Wow okay…my personal top 11 is comprised of ppl I foundenjoyable to watch and have fun cheering for, I’m a sucker for dumb fools and hiddenstorylines so yeah. 

But, man if they put this group together I would screambecause noooomg it would mostly be a comedy troupe than an idol group. theymight as well be called 10gagmen1straightman (10G1S)

(edited for guys in the top 59, in no particular order) 

yoon jisung- I likedhim ever since ep 1. I think that most, if not all of the trainees were chatteringaway during the auditions but I find that he seems to not really censor hismouth. I think a lot of the trainees are very and tense image conscious (theyshould be due to mnet) and Jisung (and the other MMO guys) were more relaxed. He’s funny but not offensive funny…Iremember like when Daehwi was explaining his avengers team, Jisung was likeyeah, go ahead and eat up all the popular members, Dahewi and JKKSJDKSJKJKSTHAT MAN. He seems like a genuinely fun and nice person to be a round, judgingby how he seems close to both his label-mates and his 10/10 group-mates….anyways📢📢📢I LVOETHIS MAN AND THAT ANTI WHO DM’D HIM TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE CAN SRSLY FCUK OFF!!!📢📢📢

kim taemin -  he was so cute in his intro vid but he was sonervous his voice was shaking so much lmao poor thing…. But im fucking….ifthere’s really a meme in this show, it’s taemin…everything they show of him, he’smaking a damn fool of himself. Him screaming in the hiddenbox thing, himfailing to do headstands, him dancing to nayana…yeah I lof the fool!! What reallymade me like him was him acting so surprised and happy when someone called hisname wayyyy back during the first nayana perf. Like….he seemed so amazed to have fans lmao what a gem. He’salso quite photogenic too.

Ong seongwu – THEBEST ALL ROUNDER IMO???????????? He’s a good singer ( hE WAS ONE OF THE 6TRAINEES THAT SANG PICK ME! WITHOUT HIM THERE WOULD BE NO NAYA NA), a great dancer, already has charisma and is hotwhile being complete dork? Amazing. I really adore him and his three moles and I’msuper worried for when the 1-pick voting comes because he doesn’t seem to havea lot of individual fans (someone prove me wrong pls)

Park Jihoon –yeah that wink got me shook. But yeah, srsly speaking, his wink did catch myeye but I thought he was going to be wayyyyyy to cute-ish for my tastes. I wassurprised by the way he carried himself (cute, but not too much, he seems to bevery calm too).  I think he’s skilled butcan improve much more (esp his singing) so I look forward to his improvement!! @mnetI’m still waiting for his angry clip L I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WOULD BUY ALL THELIPBALM HE NEEDS, JUST TELL ME WHAT BRAND U WANT BOY, I”LL GET U A SUPPLY SOBIG THEY’LL OFFER U AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL

Kim Yehyeon – He seemslike a really sweet guy and this story is what basically made me stan him (andgave him that 39+ rank rise) my boy is a fuckin saint he went to the emergencyroom because he was too overworked and he had to perform Be Mine will injured..T_T He did not almost die for no screentime and continuous repeats and zoom-insof ppl gulping….anyways he’s also dumb, you should support 

Lee Junwoo – an actualbaby!!!!!!!! He caught my eye in episode 0 but I totally forgot who he wasuntil I saw his famous TATATA dance. What I liked about him was that he didn’t completelygive up after messing up and he kept on going hard @ the dance (he even made itto a C despite those mistakes!) he’s an awesome dancer and has good expressions!I really look forward to seeing his Shape of You stage (I think) I heard it wassupposed to be real good. I’m also screaming because he looks like a baby is ashuge as an elephant IRL 184CM HOOOLLLLLY

kim yongguk – I gotto know him because of that pann post and I support and adore him so much butnot as much as kim sihyun does!!!!! He’s a pretty nice vocalist and pretty goodsinger..but I think because baekho stole the entire stage, it’s hard to judgehis stage presence,  I really do lookforward to seeing his stage and seeing him be more of a savage!

Ahn hyungseop – Ilove him, he’s such a textbook slyth, he even expressed disappointment ingetting a lower rank than before. I can see why ppl don’t like him (similar todaehwi) but I really do adore him and his quirky ways. While I think he’s agood performer, I do think he would be more a B-rank rather than A. I’m stillnot quite convinced of his singing just yet….

Joo Haknyeon – tbh,I feel like he was born to be an idol with a face like that, I think it has amore idol-ish feel than Jihoon’s. I find that he’s a really decent dancer too!I do wish he had a better audition song…like why’d u choose that song and b-boyto it omf. He seems to be a total sweetheart as well! Hanywayz…..i wanna seemore of his friendship with ong, they seem to be good friends as well Y_Y @mnetGIV EHIM MORE SCREENTIME.

Yoo Seonho – it’sa surprised to me how much I like him?? He’s so cute and harmless lmao. I can totallysee why he was casted, along with guanlin, and sent out despite being only trainees for 6 months. they will super popular in thefuture (if cube doesn’t fuck up). I’m not really expecting much from him, beinga 6 month trainee, but he did surprisingly ok in sorry sorry compared to hisexperience, I’m looking forward to seeing his next stage. He also seems to be agreat guy, judging by his fanaccs and activities.

Yeo Hwanung – he’sa great dancer and stable vocalist, why is he being slepton?????????????????????? He seems super sweet and patient with Justin too likegoing through the notes together…<3  Ireally want to see more interviews and soundbites of him…it’s really got methink what the hell did rbw do to piss of the pd of this show not giving themany screentime at all, which played a big part in declining jaewoo, gunmin, anddongmyeong’s rank. Ok conspiracy here, I was thought Hwanung was really hopinggunmin, jaewoo, and dongmyeong would pull a rank climb like seo sunghyuk/joojinwoo and they would all make it to the the next round, that’s why he waslooking so serious and a bit disappointed when they called his name…………..

Notable mentions: everyone else, I fucking love and support all of them!!!!!! I just find these 11 really interesting at the moment.

—

 hennyways……here’s my top final 11 AKA B.O.I. …sorta. I thinkit’ll probably change after the next eps as people come to prove themselvesmore!! But this group, I’ll be pretty comfortable with them debuting and confident that they will be able to handle different concepts, all can carry their weight, etc. (in noparticular order)

Ong Sungwoo – HAHAHAHA iLL SERIOUSLY QUIT THIS GROUP IF ONGDOESN’T GET IN LIKE SRSLY HE’S GOT IT ALL I’m SO FUKCING SCARED OF HIS FUTURE THAT’SHOW MUCH I LOVE HIM???

Kang Daniel – He’s another well rounder. So he seems like areal sweet person but he ( along with Ong ) don’t really seem to take shit fromppl and I like that they speak there mind, though I want him to be careful ofhis actions as well LMAO. He’s also a fuckn miracle worker, my friend went fromdisliking him in ep2 to being a full stan by ep5 so I think he seems to be aperson that would keep fans engaged for a long time.

 Park Jihoon – Yeah, I’m kinda being biased, but he’d doreal well as a stan attractor! He dancing is good and I feel like he’ll improveon his singing soon….okay enough…

Kim Jaehwan – holyyy shit his voice is sooo good. All theguys in sorry sorry team 2 were good, but the dude carried the vocals for histeam, lbr. Im sincerely hoping he pulls up into the final 11, the vocals would get a huge upgrade holy shit son.

 Im Youngmin – alpacaaaaa aaaaaa!! He’s growing on me somuch and seems to be a very kind person, teaching the be mine moves foreveryone. I love that group so much, they seem genuinely close to each other !!  His rapping is good and he seems to be quitecharismatic on stage <3

Kim Taedong – His jump from F to A holyyyy shit whattaman!!!  His moves are sharp and he’s astable singer, I’m really liking what I’m seeing from him so far. I think he’s real idol material and he seems likea complete dork too, I loff!!!!!!

Yoon Heeseok, lmaoooo he’s also another living meme. He’san excellent singer, I really want him to work on his dancing a bit though but heseems to be improving quite nicely, from F-B. his shoulders are also killer.

Lee Daehwi – Another all-rounder. He doesn’t deserve thehate he gets, I honestly hope he makes it, he has the skills and personality tomake it into the idol world. He’s a sweet boy.

-(wildcards) x 3

 lmao okay I cheated, it’s because I haven’t fully decidedyet….i still wanna see more perfs Lbut here are a list of guys I would love to see in the final line up as well.

Wildcards:

from my personal top 11: jisung, yongguk, hyungseob, hwanung,anyone that shows they’ve got what it takes/improves immensely

vocals: sewoon, hoeseung, woodam, gwanghyun(???), donghyun,dongsu, kiwon, keonhee, seonglee. youjin

rap: woo jinyoung, namhyung, big woojin

dance: hyunmin, eunki, kenta, samuel, kim donghan

nu’est, hotshot members: I’m reallllllllly conflicted inthis. In a perfect world, they don’t make it in the top 11 but their companiesgive them comebacks they need and the make it big and win awards and it’s the perfectcomeback story lmao…but I’ll still be happy with any of them in the line up aswell <3

wow i’m sorry i wrote too long jdksajd

[impulse-goblin]

I’ve been stewing on some of these thoughts for a few days now, and theres not an easy way to work through them but to word vomit them out and also post them bc i feel like its something i want to share with you guys (esp friends i know irl & mutuals who mean so much to me). to give you an idea, its some thoughts trying to reconcile my faith & my identity, which are both ofc extremely important to me.

for those of you on mobile/the cut won't work for, i apologize & understand if you scroll way past this. sorry that tumblr can be shit...

all else aside. i am a christian. i believe jesus died for everyone’s sin, and that everyone can be redeemed through Him. 

its a process, of studying scripture, of actively praying and being in relationship with God, of being in community with your church and with the world too. the best way i can live is through this way

the love of my friends and the love of God has saved me countless times, and that may sound ridiculous but its my truth. and i can only be grateful to have such wonderful people in my life and that God continues to give me opportunities to grow.

its strange having gone through a lot of spiritual highs and lows these past few months, and having come out of this feeling simultaneously closer to God but further disconnected to other parts of life. and its a bit anxiety inducing, and scary being in less familiar territory, but knowing that if all else fails He has been with me, is with me, and will be here for me.

and this new church i’ve been going to. while i know in some of paul’s letters to the early church he calls for them to embrace their diversity and the challenges of interacting with those who do not agree with views of scripture (even back then!) its still disheartening to hear, in between the great truths i know God stands for, that this pastor still interprets some of His word in such a way that condemns how i know i love people, and how i express this self that God has given me.

a short aside: when i was being served at the school’s cafeteria today, one of the ladies accidentally called me ‘sir’, then fully saw my face/head & corrected herself, but that little bit of confusion on her part made me so happy. i am not yet able to present the way i want, and i’ve started to make my peace with that. but taking small bits of joy out of these kind of rare moments, and hoping that i’ll be able to have more of them in hopefully a not-so-distant-future...

i know most people don't choose to be whatever way they are. its an inherent part of them. and they know it to their core, even if it takes time to fully actualize/realize it.

i’ve always felt completely neutral to my gender. its always been an after-thought, and if you would have asked me how i identified as a child, the answer would have been ‘tomboy’. b/c of the fact that one of my two options was still forced upon me, but i could take back some neutrality. now ofc the vast majority of this world that we’re growing up in will not understand or accept this idea of some people being caught between or outside of this binary thats been forced upon us, but here’s to hoping we will still actively change that regardless.

the bible can answer lots of great classic questions regarding some aspects of our nature. truth versus lies, laziness versus dedication, where our loyalties should lie and where we should place our trust. but when we get to more societal questions, those answers can vary even across the generations that are covered within just a few books. from the hebrews to the israelites, entire structures changed and on a surface these different laws and guidances can sometimes contradict one another. which is why context and discernment are so important when approaching scripture. hell this is something that we’ve covered over and over in my philosophy course this semester!

even gender was bent a few times in the case of a few eunuchs that are mentioned (however briefly) and many cases of non-heterosexual behaviors have either been completely mistranslated or are misinterpreted purposefully/accidentally to condemn.

but even trying to remember these things when i hear the condemnation does not take away that initial hurt when i think of how this pure, innocent crush i have on different people of different genders. of how we so easily condemn those who do not practice abstinence. of how easily the greater message of love gets drowned out by that sound of hate that so many people will hear over and over because of how horribly misconstrued you're conviction lies.

an opportunity to share such a wonderful message is missed completely b/c you felt the need of one message was much more important than the greater message to approach your fellow human being with love and respect first.

i am a christian. i am also a person who’s trying to follow the will of God in my life. i am first identified by the spirit of God in me.

i am also a person who will spit on the gender binary, and will love to confuse the heck out of anyone who tried to define me by a he or a she. i am a person who unfortunately has not experienced and does not expect to experience anything greater than an occasional romantic infatuation or interest in someone else, and will love continuously and wholly my friends and family that i have now.

i am a person who is very anxious about this future that i am running into. but i know that through God’s spirit and through His son i can do great things that align with His will.

and God willing, that will mean being my most genuine self in my identity in Him and in this identity that He has given me to live. even if it is one that is simply not as easy as many others

hi, i am a christian. i am also a member of the lgbtq+ community. i am a friend, a coworker, a student, a sibling, a child of someone’s, an almost adult, and i am most of all here. and I'm not giving up without a fight (or at least a calm conversation/debate)