#someone who just wants an invitation to the potluck or someone to watch their cat while they're away

[sp4rrowdoll]

Is there a way to donate you for your writings? Good food like this can’t be left unpaid queen

Not at the moment, no.

While I’m not going to say that will never happen, at the moment I’m less interested in money than I am in time, attention and affection. Which is to say: if you want to reward me for my writing, leave a nice reply or tags on a reblog or tagging me in a scribble/sketch inspired by my writing. If you're a lurker (totally understandable!) feel free to drop into my inbox and say something nice! Or just leave an emoji if you don’t have the energy, that’s lovely too.

If you’re in my inbox on anon, please feel free to give yourself a little inbox name/identifier if you’d like—I might not do paid commissions, but I absolutely adore writing people requests, and once I get to know them & what they like well enough, gifts. (Also, if any anon ever doesn’t feel comfortable with me posting an ask they leave, drop DAR at the end (delete after reading), and I won’t post it.)

[my-weird-news]

BRICS Shakes Up World! Joining New Members?"

BRICS: The Ultimate Awkward Family Reunion So, picture this: you've got this motley crew called BRICS — Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. They're like that one dysfunctional family you only see at Thanksgiving. They cover 40% of the world's population and a quarter of its economy, like, no big deal. And now they're thinking of expanding, because they want to be the cool kids in town, challenging those snobby G7 folks. But let's get real here. This gang is as mixed up as a puzzle with missing pieces. You've got China, the heavyweight authoritarian champion, and right next to it is India, waving the democracy flag. It's like having a friendly robot and a hippie at the same party. And don't even get me started on Russia — they're the rebel of the group, doing things their way even when everyone's like, "Dude, chill." China's all like, "BRICS, let's go big or go home!" They want to flex their muscles and show off to Uncle Sam. Russia's there, pretending they're not hurt by being left out of the cool kids' club, but deep down, they just want to prove they've got pals too. India's just side-eyeing China, while Brazil and South Africa are the ones juggling their allegiances like they're on a reality show. Now, they're having a summit in Johannesburg, which is like the big family reunion where everyone's forced to share a room and pretend they're besties. Xi from China, Modi from India, Lula from Brazil, Ramaphosa from South Africa, and Putin... well, Putin's zooming in. You see, he's got some "court date" thing going on, but we all know he's just avoiding that awkward moment when someone brings up the whole "war crimes" thing. China, being the big cheese, wants to show the world they've got friends too. After Biden's pow-wow with Japan and South Korea, they're like, "Look, we've got our own party!" And they're expanding BRICS like they're throwing confetti at a parade. India's playing it safe, like the responsible older sibling. They're all, "Let's not make this a WWE match, guys." They're still scarred from that border brawl with China and that Quad thing with the U.S., Japan, and Australia. They want standards for new members and probably a rulebook for the next wrestling match. Brazil's on board too, but they're picky about who's invited to the party. "Follow the rules, or go home!" Lula says. They want big populations, big economies, and probably someone who can dance the samba. And Putin's like, "Hey, I've got some buddies who might want in. Saudi Arabia, UAE, Argentina, and oh yeah, Indonesia. They're cool, right?" But wait, more members mean more opinions, and with these folks, agreeing on anything is harder than teaching a cat to tap dance. And while China and Russia are having a bro-mance, India's giving them the side-eye like a pro. Russia's all "let's impress the new guys" after hosting an African shindig. But they've got some explaining to do about that deal with Ukraine that turned the grain market into a roller coaster. And the other members? Well, China's swaying towards Russia, India's avoiding eye contact, Brazil's throwing empty promises, and South Africa's caught in a game of diplomacy Twister. South Africa's the youngest sibling, trying to fit in with everyone. They're caught between East and West like a ping pong ball. They're all, "We're hosting this party, but America's still our BFF, okay?" So, the BRICS family reunion is on. There's laughter, awkward silence, and probably a lot of passive-aggressive smiles. And while they're trying to figure out if they're a global supergroup or just a bunch of folks sharing an economic potluck, the world's watching like it's the juiciest reality show in town. 🍿# BRICS: The Ultimate Awkward Family Reunion So, picture this: you've got this motley crew called BRICS — Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. They're like that one dysfunctional family you only see at Thanksgiving. They cover 40% of the world's population and a quarter of its economy, like, no big deal. And now they're thinking of expanding, because they want to be the cool kids in town, challenging those snobby G7 folks. But let's get real here. This gang is as mixed up as a puzzle with missing pieces. You've got China, the heavyweight authoritarian champion, and right next to it is India, waving the democracy flag. It's like having a friendly robot and a hippie at the same party. And don't even get me started on Russia — they're the rebel of the group, doing things their way even when everyone's like, "Dude, chill." China's all like, "BRICS, let's go big or go home!" They want to flex their muscles and show off to Uncle Sam. Russia's there, pretending they're not hurt by being left out of the cool kids' club, but deep down, they just want to prove they've got pals too. India's just side-eyeing China, while Brazil and South Africa are the ones juggling their allegiances like they're on a reality show. Now, they're having a summit in Johannesburg, which is like the big family reunion where everyone's forced to share a room and pretend they're besties. Xi from China, Modi from India, Lula from Brazil, Ramaphosa from South Africa, and Putin... well, Putin's zooming in. You see, he's got some "court date" thing going on, but we all know he's just avoiding that awkward moment when someone brings up the whole "war crimes" thing. China, being the big cheese, wants to show the world they've got friends too. After Biden's pow-wow with Japan and South Korea, they're like, "Look, we've got our own party!" And they're expanding BRICS like they're throwing confetti at a parade. India's playing it safe, like the responsible older sibling. They're all, "Let's not make this a WWE match, guys." They're still scarred from that border brawl with China and that Quad thing with the U.S., Japan, and Australia. They want standards for new members and probably a rulebook for the next wrestling match. Brazil's on board too, but they're picky about who's invited to the party. "Follow the rules, or go home!" Lula says. They want big populations, big economies, and probably someone who can dance the samba. And Putin's like, "Hey, I've got some buddies who might want in. Saudi Arabia, UAE, Argentina, and oh yeah, Indonesia. They're cool, right?" But wait, more members mean more opinions, and with these folks, agreeing on anything is harder than teaching a cat to tap dance. And while China and Russia are having a bro-mance, India's giving them the side-eye like a pro. Russia's all "let's impress the new guys" after hosting an African shindig. But they've got some explaining to do about that deal with Ukraine that turned the grain market into a roller coaster. And the other members? Well, China's swaying towards Russia, India's avoiding eye contact, Brazil's throwing empty promises, and South Africa's caught in a game of diplomacy Twister. South Africa's the youngest sibling, trying to fit in with everyone. They're caught between East and West like a ping pong ball. They're all, "We're hosting this party, but America's still our BFF, okay?" So, the BRICS family reunion is on. There's laughter, awkward silence, and probably a lot of passive-aggressive smiles. And while they're trying to figure out if they're a global supergroup or just a bunch of folks sharing an economic potluck, the world's watching like it's the juiciest reality show in town. 🍿 Read the full article

[ddagent]

Jaime tries to surprise Brienne for Valentine’s Day with a romantic dinner in her apartment and has to contend with her curious pet cat.

Thank you for the prompt, Anon! I hope you enjoy my take on it. 

Jaime quickly realised why Brienne did not allow people back into her apartment. 

Ever since Brienne had started at King’s Landing University a year ago, it had been a running joke. At first, they’d assumed she was shy. Recently returning from an archaeological dig in Ancient Valyria, Professor Tarth was competent if not compelling. But as the year had gone on and she had insistently turned down offers to host the weekly moderation-slash-potluck, a different kind of pot had started. Bodies in the freezer, a partner she didn’t want anyone to meet, truly horrendous taste in furniture...these theories and many more were bandied about by the department. Jaime had never much cared until he and Brienne had grown closer and yet...still no invitation. 

He could see why now. 

“Hello...” he murmured in a low voice to the half-foot tall dragon that had backed him into a corner. “Aren’t you a...pretty thing.”

In truth, the dragon was reminiscent of the beautiful drawings Jaime and his brother, Tyrion, had poured over as children. Black, bottomless eyes; scales the colour of molten gold that shifted red in the light. It was a thing of beauty – and power. He had worked on sites where the dragons of old had decimated the population. He had dug up the bodies of the Dragon Queen’s victims near Highgarden; had examined the shields burnt black with flame. But this was not the fully-fledged dragons that had resurged during the War of the Three Queens. This was barely bigger than a cat. 

“Now, now, little one,” he said, rising to his feet slowly. “I am just going to take a step towards the door and go home. That’s all.”

But as he turned towards Brienne’s front door, abandoning the groceries he had brought to make a romantic Maiden’s Day feast, he realised there was more than one. Two other dragons stood in his path. The first had blue scales almost the same shade of Brienne’s eyes; the other was jet black and seemed to stare into Jaime’s very soul. He edged forwards towards the door, hoping he could evade them, when his foot caught on the rug. 

Sprawling across the floor, Jaime’s head hit hardwood. As six dragons focussed into three, he watched with terror as they approached his face. “Oh, fuck.” He didn’t want to die like this. Didn’t want Brienne to come home and find him half-eaten by her pets. He’d wanted her to come home from her late class to a romantic dinner. Music, sunflowers, wine. Three little words he’d wanted to say for some time...

“Don’t eat me.”

 --

Brienne checked her phone as she got off the tube and began the slow walk to her apartment. She usually kept her phone off during seminars and one of her students, Podrick, had drawn her into conversation all the way from campus to her home at Visenya’s Hill. But now she was free to look at her phone and the string of messages from Jaime. She’d disliked him immensely at first; found him rude and arrogant if blindingly attractive. But he had a romantic heart under his armour, and she’d found herself softening as they co-taught a class on romanticism in the Dragon Age. 

Jaime ♥: Missed you today in class, Professor. Someone was talking smack about the Blue Knight and I almost, almost sent him to your class so he could learn something.  Jaime ♥: But then I realised, if anyone’s getting sent to your class, it’s going to be ME.  Jaime ♥: Hope your last class goes okay.  Jaime ♥: Oh, and Happy Maiden’s Day, Professor. Want to talk about the historical development of the day as a romantic holiday with our clothes off? 

Brienne laughed, shaking her head at her Jaime. With her late class and his six am tutorials, neither had pushed to make plans. But if Jaime wanted her to come over, she certainly would oblige. 

Jaime ♥: There’s a romantic surprise waiting at your apartment, Professor. You should come and unwrap it ;)

Eyes widening, Brienne stared at Jaime’s last message. “No, no, no, no, no...” Shoving her phone back into her bag, Brienne sprinted the last few streets to her apartment. 

While taking part in a dig in Ancient Valyria, Brienne had uncovered three dragon eggs perfectly preserved. The dig’s leader, a particularly odious man by the name of Randyll Tarly, had declared them nothing more than tourist trash. He’d encouraged her to throw them aside. Something had called to Brienne, however, and she’d kept the eggs. Vindication and validation had quickly followed. 

Along with three carnivorous pets. 

Pushing her way through the front door of her apartment building, Brienne skipped the lift and threw herself up the three flights of stairs. Her place was at the far end of the corridor; light and soft music floating underneath the door. Maybe he hadn’t found them. Maybe they’d remained in the spare bedroom with the chew toys. Maybe—

“Here we go, Gerion; that’s a good boy. How does that taste?”

Brienne stepped into her apartment to find Jaime Lannister cooking a romantic meal with her three dragons sitting atop the counter. Gerion, with his golden scales, jumped up to catch the pieces of steak Jaime was throwing from the pan. Elenei, who reminded Brienne of the waters of Tarth, had her head in Jaime’s oven glove. Galladon was butting a sunflower from a nearby bouquet with his head. 

“Jaime?”

“Brienne!” He grinned, threw another slice of steak to Gerion to catch, before crossing the distance to take her hands in his. “First of all, I want to apologise for breaking into your apartment. I thought it would be charming and romantic.”

“You can see why I haven’t invited anyone round.”

“Of course. I honestly thought they were going to eat me to start with. But then they just started licking my face and chewing on my shoelaces, and here we are.” He rubbed his thumbs over the inside of her wrists and placed a featherlight kiss to her lips. “Happy Maiden’s Day, Brienne. There’s half-eaten flowers on the kitchen island and dinner is nearly ready.”

Brienne nodded, approaching the scene with trepidation, as Jaime returned to the stove. A romantic dinner for two had been set up in the living room: candles, romantic music, an expensive bottle of wine. Sunflowers lay strewn across the floor, and half of their dinner looked like it had been devoured by her dragons. Brienne’s journals, detailing their growth and activities, lay open near the sink. Jaime had clearly done his reading. 

“Now, Elenei, I’m going to need those gloves back. I’m not impervious to heat or fire.” The dragon playfully nipped at Jaime’s fingers before jumping down from the kitchen top to attack Jaime’s expensive loafers. “Gerion, I can’t feed you any more; I’m sorry. But if you’re a good boy, I’ll let you have some marshmallows later.” 

“You brought marshmallows?”

Jaime nodded. “And other things we could dip in chocolate. Thought it would be romantic.”

As he ushered Galladon off the counter so he could plate their dinner, Brienne was overwhelmed by how lucky she was. Anyone else would have called the Gold Cloaks. But not Jaime. He treated them as if they were just exotic pets that Brienne had around the house rather than the fire-breathing, life-destroying monsters they would grow up to be. He smiled at her, as warm as always, and pulled out a seat for her to take at their romantic table for two. 

“Wine?”

“I love you.”

Jaime’s grin split from ear to ear. Her dragons, who had seemingly taken to Jaime quicker than she had, puffed in approval. “I love you, too.”

[abbyfreemansmind]

Gordon whump, written by an amazing friend

Tommy didn't like being touched, dr. Coomer was always far too respectful to push someone's boundaries, bubby didn't mind touching but didn't want to look weak, benrey touched freely but never Gordon and Gordon himself... he needed touch. He needed touch to feel grounded, to feel real, to feel better...

Tommy: It was at Tommy's birthday that he learned Tommy hated being touched. It was a sensory thing. He described it as wrong and offputting but couldn't really elaborate. It honestly made Gordon feel like she about how often Gordon would put a hand on his shoulder or pat him on the back in black mesa. To Gordon that was just how he showed someone appreciation but to Tommy... it was a punishment... After that gordon was always conscious of where Tommy was when they were together. He never bumped him or accidentally touched him as he moved past. He went out of his way to avoid contact. Tommy was grateful.

Dr. Coomer: Dr. Coomer was a good scientist. Only touching what needed to be touched and avoiding anything else like the plague. He always asked before touching bubby or Tommy... but he didn't even have to bother asking Gordon, he just didn't touch him... Gordon wondered if dr. Coomer just didn't like him sometimes, but he didn't think about it too often. He enjoyed the man's company and he kept being invited over, so he accepted what he was given.

Bubby: Bubby said he didn't want to be touched. He said it and Gordon immediately felt guilty for all the times he did something. It was Tommy all over again... Except bubby was so much more vocal about it. Gordon would walk into a room and sit down next to him and if bubby deemed him too close he would remain Gordon not to touch him. Gordon would immediately back off of course. He respected his friends wishes after all...

Benrey: Benrey touched everyone (except Tommy of course) whenever he wanted. No one really complained when he did it so Gordon assumed they didn't mind too much, at first. Until he realized benrey never randomly touched him... and that stung... bad... Benrey was openly affectionate, volatile and clingy. To everyone except him.  Benrey wasn't afraid to just grab Coomer and start boxing, or flop over bubby's lap, or even pass Tommy soda in a way that would mean their fingers would touch... but he never touched gordon...  even on accident...

Gordon: It hurt. Knowing they didn't really want him around most of the time. Knowing they pity him so much they ask him to come hang out, but not enough they would ever actually interact with him in any meaningful way... the thing that hurt the most was that they didn't even hate him enough to send him away. That they felt the need to drag him along on their adventures but never actually exist with him... most days the only kindness he got was the affection he drank up from his own child... he thought that was pretty pathetic...   He wondered often if they did it on purpose. If they were actually trying to torture him with false hope. Not like he could go back to hanging out with his old friends, they abandoned him for greener pastures when he disappeared for a week with no notice and came back missing a hand. They couldn't handle his "new crazy"... so here he was. Pathetic. Alone. Desperately wishing his son was home from kindergarten so he didn't feel so useless and cold... but what was he supposed to do? Call up the gang to come over and hang out? He doubted they would even come, and if they did he doubted even more that it would be for him. They would probably just do it for the free wifi and food... he decided he needed to go for a walk...

...: He was tired of being alone. He was tired of being ignored. He was tired of watching the people around him pretending to like him but never actually showing it. He was tired... he was so goddamn tired... He wished he could get a pet. A cat or a dog that would just sit in his lap and love him unconditionally. But he has a son. A son who is deathly allergic to all kinds of pet dander, is terrified of reptiles and cries at the sight of a robin... he loves Joshua too much to put him through that... He looks around, wondering how long he's been walking. He doesn't immediately recognize where he is but when he does he nearly cries. His ex's old house... Joshua's mother... he walks up to the building and stares for a moment before walking down the alleyway next to it. He wonders if it's still there or if the new owners had gotten rid of it. He walks to the middle of the alley, opens a small door in the brick wall and almost reverently pulls out the old, worn toy... he cries. He cries and holds the plush toy close. He stays like that for hours... When he does move he only does so because his alarm to pick up Joshua went off. He quickly wipes his eyes and heads back home to get his car, getting in and driving to the school with the toy in the front seat. Joshua's teachers don't comment on how red his eyes are and Gordon dotes on his son all the way home. He forgets the plush for now...

..: The next time they decided to hang out it was a potluck. Gordon wasn't the best cook out there, but he knew for a fact he was better then most of them, so it's obvious why they wanted him there... he slaved over their meal for hours and he didn't even know why he bothered anymore... but he did. When he got there and started unloading the car it really got on his nerves that benrey just watched. He pulls an entire sheet cake out of his passenger seat and benrey didn't move a muscle to help him. He was initially confused when he came back out to get the last dish but let it go thinking he had just gotten bored and brought the food in. He set it on the table, confused when he heard benrey making a stupid and childish voice to the others. He went out to see what it was and froze at the sight before him. He had never crossed a room so fast in his life, nor had he been so satisfied when he heard a nose being broken. His hand tingling like it was on fire in the best way possible and he hated himself for feeling good about punching someone. His screams were incoherent and he couldn't bring himself to care as he plucked the doll from benrey's hand and stomped back to his car. Fuck them and fuck their fake friendship. He didn't answer their calls or texts. He actually blocked benrey's number. He couldn't take it anymore...

.: They finally got the hint when Gordon had dr. Coomer trespassed. He couldn't hand having them around anymore and didn't want to hear their excuses. Joshua was a little sad the one "doggy" he wasn't allergic to couldn't come over anymore but Gordon couldn't deal with that. Maybe he could get him one of those robot pet toys... It took a month before he started missing them. Two more before he unblocked benrey's number, not expecting anything, but maybe hoping? He didn't even know anymore... he felt like a monster... he just wished everything could have been normal...

Finally!!!: He didn't expect them to be there... It had been six months since he invited them... He didn't even expect them to remember... he hated that they were distracting him from his son's show. He hated that he couldn't even look at the stage with them sitting in the front row. He hated that he had to beg and plead with some random staff to switch seats with him just so he didn't have to sit next to them. He hated that they knew exactly where he was because fucking benrey just had to turn around and look him dead in the eyes... at least the tucker had the good sense to be ashamed... at least he didn't stare at him and watch as he started crying just thinking about it all... God he wished he were up there. He wishes he was sitting next to them, even if they would have used sunkist as a barrier so they didn't have to be too close... he wishes he wasn't alone... He didn't even notice the show ending. He didn't notice Tommy going up to distract Joshua so he didn't see his dad crying in the back. He didn't notice dr. Coomer and bubby start quietly fighting about what to do or if they should even do anything at all. He didn't notice benrey walk straight to him. He did notice the arms around him. He noticed the hand on his back. He noticed the shoulder his face was gently being held against. It felt like heaven. It felt like everything he fucking needed. It felt like he was fucking real for the first time in almost a year. It felt like love.

Thank you: It feels amazing. It hurt to like fuck, but it felt amazing. He didn't care that there was two scientists sitting on him and an ex-security officer under him. He didn't care that he was bent at an odd angle so that he could take the soda Tommy offered him, feeling the soft tap to his finger tips when Tommy let go. He didn't care that he was going to be aching like fuck tomorrow. He felt the love.

[alittleyellowdinosaur]

Holiday Positivity Day 2

I know a bunch of people can’t go home for the holidays due to it not being safe or just being away, so I wanted to make a list of a few ideas on how to enjoy the day on your own. I tried to keep them fairly cheap in case money is a concern. Also these are tailored for Christmas because it’s what I know and I don’t want to comment on holidays I’m not familiar on.

Get a small Christmas tree, even just a stick from a pine tree in a pot. Decorate it with paper chains and ornaments. Having a tree will instantly help make things feel festive

If you have fairy lights, put them up. EVERYWHERE. Turn them on every night as soon as it’s dark and turn off the lights. Trust me.

Make hot cocoa. Load it with marshmallows and whipped cream and sprinkles. Trust me this is the time to treat yourself

Try your hand at baking! Who cares if it turns out terrible, it’s fun to put on carols, sing badly, and make a mess. Pro tip - get a bag of Hersey’s chocolate chips. On the back there is a recipe for chocolate chip cookies. my family has been using it for ages and they always turn out perfect. Trust me on this.

Make some cinnamon ornaments! No bake, 4 ingredients you most likely already have, and smell fantastic. Also hella fun and you don’t need to worry about burning your house down if baking cookies terrifies you ;) here’s a recipe I use

Wrap yourself in a fuzzy blanket and watch movies. Like the old puppet holiday movies, Elf, whatever makes you laugh. I recommend the live action fro ch movie for some good ass laughs (it’s on Netflix!)

Get yourself a present, wrap it up all pretty (or in like a brown sandwich bag) and put it under your tree to open on Christmas. Like, im talking a 10-15$ present. Not something you need, but something you just want, a candle, a soft blanket, a new book, some good chocolate, something like that. If you can’t do that (I get it hon don’t worry), then pick something you just want in that range to save up to. It’ll give you something to look forward to whenever you have money to spare. I know it can be hard to justify spending money on something you just want when money is tight, but you deserve happiness even when things are so dire. You need a break in the negativity and you deserve some happiness. Trust me.

Invite some friends over and have a friends celebration! Make it a potluck so you aren’t spending tons of money on food, maybe a white elephant party, have fun! I know this is a little late to plan with this coming out late (sorry) but you can do it a couple days after. Anyone who says the holidays end the 26th are stupid if you need to stretch it a bit do it.

Make paper snowflakes and put them around your house!

Light some candles (if you are in a dorm fuck the rules open a window and light that candle it’s CHRISTMAS)

I really hope that some of these sound manageable and someone exciting. Just because you are having a holiday on your own doesn’t mean it can’t still be the holidays. Being alone on such a family oriented thing can suck ass, but remember that friends can be family even more than blood, and so can cats. ;) You’ve got this. Promise.