#and as a full time college student with a physically intensive full time summer job starting in a month or two

[sp4rrowdoll]

Is there a way to donate you for your writings? Good food like this can’t be left unpaid queen

Not at the moment, no.

While I’m not going to say that will never happen, at the moment I’m less interested in money than I am in time, attention and affection. Which is to say: if you want to reward me for my writing, leave a nice reply or tags on a reblog or tagging me in a scribble/sketch inspired by my writing. If you're a lurker (totally understandable!) feel free to drop into my inbox and say something nice! Or just leave an emoji if you don’t have the energy, that’s lovely too.

If you’re in my inbox on anon, please feel free to give yourself a little inbox name/identifier if you’d like—I might not do paid commissions, but I absolutely adore writing people requests, and once I get to know them & what they like well enough, gifts. (Also, if any anon ever doesn’t feel comfortable with me posting an ask they leave, drop DAR at the end (delete after reading), and I won’t post it.)

[nanda-writes]

College girl sells soul to pay rent (not clickbait)

“So… your last wish is to make a deal with the devil?”

The ghostly woman nodded.

“It won't be possible, look, you need a physical body to perform this type of ritual,” said the medium “and I can't do it for you, because if I did, it would be my soul on sale.”

What if I possess you?

The spirit's voice echoed, the candles in the small clamped room in which the medium worked began to shake, transforming the trinkets scattered around the room into frightening dancing images. This could work… in theory.

“Not going to happen. Possessions are expressly prohibited on University internships. And honestly?” she added “I wouldn't endanger myself for a job that’s not even paid.”

I can pay.

The human raised one of her eyebrows. The candle flames flickered intensely, the ghost was desperate.

“Pay? Sorry, but we don't accept drachmas or whatever currency ghosts use, only cash or pix.”

She was joking, of course. What she didn't expect was the disembodied woman's response.

What's the key?

“Excuse me?”

Your pix, what is the key?

It wouldn't be possible that...?

Is ten thousand enough? Half now, half later.

It's worth a try, isn't it?

The medium shared her key. A few minutes later, she received the following message:

“Bank: Your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you 5.000 reais”

Along with several confused emails by Grandma Vellota.

Looks like someone wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

Kethelyn Correia — 21 years old, necromancy student at the Brazilian Federal University of Mystic Arts — is a medium in desperate need of additional hours for college and money. Kethelyn accepted the first internship that came her way without hesitating, realizing too late it was an unpaid one. Fuck it, we ball.

After months of late rent, days and nights on ramen noodles and various odd jobs to try to survive, selling a soul to the devil didn't seem like a bad idea. Anything was better than going back to her parents' house.

And that's how she ended up, three days later, on Carlos' — a college friend, master's student in demonology and ex-boyfriend — terrace at 2:30am on a Wednesday.

It was a nice evening, the sea nearby brought them a salty breeze, refreshing the warm summer night. The street lights were very close, illuminating the terrace together with the candles, revealing the unceremoniously dragged mess at the corners of the terrace. Carlos said they needed as much space as possible, the chalk circle in the middle of the terrace was the only clean space there.

“Okay, everything’s ready” said Carlos “candles lit, circles drawn, incense burning. Has she memorized the chants?”

Kethelyn nodded, they had practiced on this part together.

Carlos blew out the last match, looking around nervously. His eyes looked big behind the thick glasses he wore, his curly hair dancing with the breeze.

“Great, but seriously, this ghost couldn't have chosen a simpler invocation? Why go full catholic? There’s so many easier options…”

“Her name is Alice, I don't know about the choice for the ritual, but… thank you. Seriously. You didn't need to do all that.”

Kethelyn was being sincere. When she asked for her help, she expected at most a borrowed grimoire and some tips on how to not die.

“No problem, ha,” he replied, hands on his nape “it's the least I can do after that mistake I made.”

The “mistake” in question was the trigger for the end of their relationship. He cheated.

He cheated in a game of uno, shuffling the cards in a way that gave his friend — some 19 year old snake kid he befriended while traveling abroad — the advantage, causing Kethelyn to lose a bet.

“Ah, yes” She sighed, Alice's spirit approached floating upside down.

Hm? Share the tea, sis.

“Mind your own business.”

Rude.

“She’s here?” Carlos asked, shaking hands making the sign of the cross.

“I still can't believe that you work with literal demons, but are afraid of ghosts.” She laughed, “obviously she’s here, she's the one who's going to make the pact, duh.”

“Oh, my saint” Carlos sighed, repeating the sign “You how much of a bad idea this is, don't you?” he spoke gravely “After all, why does she want this? She's already dead!”

“It's quite a story…”

***

Alice Vellota was a young lady from a rich family, you see, her parents were rich, her grandparents were rich, her great-grandparents were rich and so on.

Alice had everything she could want, except the person she loved.

Coming from an extremely Catholic family, it is not surprising that her love for Maria Eduarda, a college friend, was a big scandal. Her parents threatened to disown her if she pursued her love, all empty threats of course. Fortunately, nothing can stop lesbians in love, not homophobic parents, not even death.

But when Maria Eduarda suddenly passed away, Alice was devastated. Her only consolation was the possibility of meeting in the afterlife. She knew Maria Eduarda would be somewhere in hell — she was a Satanist after all — she hadn't gone to heaven! But, she thought, hell is huge... how can I find her among so many people? So, she decided to solve this problem in the most logical way possible, selling her soul.

I'm already going to hell, at least I can ask to be close to her.

The plan was perfect. She home alone and everything was set, she just had to sing the chants and…

A window broke next to her and figures started to circulate around the apartment with loud wailing sounds. It was just the neighborhood kids playing football, but the scare was too much for Alice, she had a heart attack, dying before even starting the ritual.

***

“So, here's the problem. She's supposed to be in heaven now. “Kethelyn explained “technically she didn't make any pact, but the desire to join her girlfriend keeps her on this plane.”

“Why didn't you try… I don't know” Carlos shrugged “convincing her not to go to hell?”

“I tried, believe me.” Kethelyn's eyes were dead-serious “she's as stubborn as a mule.”

“Oh my saint, give me strength…”

“If everything is ready, let's begin.” The necromancer looked at Alice's ghost and signaled her to come “Get in loser, we’re summoning the devil.”

Suddenly, the coastal breeze refreshing the dawn stopped, the candle flames flickered without wind, Kethelyn bent over her stomach, the lights from the nearby street lights went mad. Carlos looked apprehensive when suddenly everything just… stopped.

The breeze, candles and the street lights returned to normal, only Kethelyn remained in the same position.

“Kethelyn? Are you okay?” Carlos asked worriedly. He was about to touch her on the shoulder when she straightened herself on a whim, her curly hair covering half her face, a smile weirdly wide creeping through her face.

“Boo” the ghost mocked him in the deep voice of the possessed, “still afraid, scaredy cat?”

Kethelyn saw everything in third perspective, she saw her mocking smile and Carlos' pale face. It was a funny feeling floating around, was that how her customers felt all the time?

She wanted to tell them both to start straight away, but she had difficulty vocalizing her thoughts, she didn't have a mouth after all. How did Alice do it? In any case, she didn't need to do anything. She saw her body go to the center of the circle, Carlos raised the barrier and sat on top of an old freezer away from the circle, she — or rather — Alice started singing the memorized chants.

As electrifying as a ritual to summon the bad thing itself may seem, it's pretty boring when you're just a spectator. Kethelyn spent the next 15 minutes bored to death — hah! — she passed her time enjoying her choice of outfit for the night, a pair of pink cargo pants and a matching tight crop top — what? You have to look stylish when you're going to meet someone famous, even if it's the devil.

Suddenly, a strong smell of sulfur filled the air and an unnatural fog began to rise inside the terrace. From within the fog lights glowed like flames.

There he was.

***

Kethelyn had a lot of expectations about the devil, but she wasn’t expecting that. A white man, bald, wearing a polo shirt and the most hideous goatee. Hadn't Lucifer been the most beautiful angel in heaven? What a glow down.

Disappointing.

The Demon stood still for a while, staring. All the corporeal beings present froze. He might have an ordinary appearance, but his aura certainly matched his fame.

“…So?” The Evil One broke the silence “What do you want, mortal?”

Kethelyn saw her body swallow hard, her hands shake. Alice finally took courage and said:

“I wan…” she hesitated “I want to have a reserved place, for me Alice Vellota and my girlfriend Maria Eduarda Almeida, in hell. A place where we can be together.”

The Fallen Angel raised an eyebrow.

“I want so that the moment this soul of mine leaves this body,” Alice kept going, more confident this time “I go straight to hell and meet her.”

Sathanas began to laugh.

“In so many centuries of work” his laugh was strondous “this is the first time I've seen someone who wants to go to hell!”

He continued laughing for a few more minutes, bending over himself and slapping his knees.

“So…” Alice was distressed “you accept the deal?”

“Ah, that, err…” Old Harry wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “No.”

“Why?!”

“Sweetheart, do you think I'm stupid?” He said in a fake-offended voice. “I know that the soul inside this body died a long time ago.”

He laughed mockingly.

“I am the devil” he stretched the last word as if he was RuPaul “having the courage to lie in the face of the father of lies?” he clapped his hands sarcastically “You’re a real one, baby.”

Kethelyn could see her shaking, Alice must have been desperate.

“To tell you the truth,” The enemy continued, looking at Alice again “your soul is worthless to me. But hers…” Kethelyn didn't have a body at the moment, but she felt her soul shiver the moment Satan made eye contact with her, grinning. “Oh, her soul is very precious”

Why did she think he wouldn't be able to see her? He was the devil!

Carlos, who was just watching, felt chills when he saw The Old One pointing into thin air, he did not need to see her to know.

The devil wanted Kethelyn.

***

The Serpent made Kethelyn and Alice switch places, the sale of a soul should not be done by third parties, and Old Nick was more than willing to buy Kethelyn's.

“Not gonna happen.” Kethelyn denied the moment she got her body back.

“Come on, dear” insisted the prince of darkness with the warm gentleness of a salesman. “There must be something you want, do you want me to help you summon more souls for your studies? I can make all the sinners in hell available to you! You want money? Fame? I can do it in the blink of an eye! I have great references, artists loved me in the 90’s. Just tell me your price.”

“Can you help me get my degree while keeping my mental health?

“Unfortunately, reality-bending miracles are my father’s department.”

“Then no,” Kethelyn was determined “I know what you want me for. I will not send innocent souls to your domain. I may work with spirits, but I still have decency.”

Beelzebub took a deep breath.

“Well, I wasn't called here for nothing.” His facade fell, the warm voice gave way to a cold, cruel tone. “Either you give up your soul, and stay alive for another nine years... or you both come with me to hell, now.”

That was the last straw. Carlos ran through the old furniture and Nick Nacks squashed on the terrace to get the holy water and his other emergency supplies. If he had to fight the devil, so be it, but he wouldn't let him take her friend.

However, before he could invade the barrier, Carlos heard a yelp:

“Wait!”

It was Kethelyn.

“Lucifer Morningstar, I challenge you to a duel!”

Carlos wanted to tear out his own eyes, Lucifer grinned.

“And what are your terms, mortal?”

“If I win, you leave me alone and fulfill Alice's wish.”

“What if you lose?”

“...You can have my soul, as long as you fulfill her wish anyway.” She looked in the direction of Alice's ghost. “I know that fulfilling her wish is no big deal for you.”

From outside the barrier, Carlos was jumping, shaking his head, making an ‘’x’ with his arms, and mouthing ‘nooooooo’'. Kethelyn might be crazy, but she wasn’t suicidal, was she?

Was she?!

Lucifer pretended to think really hard.

“Okay, I accept your terms.” he smiled “And what do you challenge me to, little girl?”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Uno.”

Carlos was banging his head on the support pole of the terrace, and Alice — if she had eyes — would have them wide open in shock. They both thought the same thing:

She wants to kill herself!

***

“I'm sorry I didn't notice you before, Carlinhos!” Lucifer patted an inconsolable Carlos on the back.

The barrier had been broken, but Lucifer could not and did not want to attack any of them until the end of the challenge.

“It’s okay, Mr. Capiroto… it’s okay” Carlos repeated defeatedly. The two had met before, college projects can take you to unusual places, huh?

“So” Lucifer looked at Kethelyn “how does this… uno thing work?”

Kethelyn and Carlos looked at each other.

If the devil doesn't know how to play uno... they have a chance!

Carlos' eyes shone. Kethelyn looked at him smugly as if she had predicted this from the beginning — although it wasn't the case.

The humans took turns explaining to the prince of hell the rules of the esteemed — and supposedly — human card game, even Alice tried to help, mentioning observations and details the couple missed.

***

The clock was already striking at 3 am when the game actually started. Carlos raised another barrier for the participants. This particular barrier prevented either of them from cheating, a necessary measure for those playing with the devil.

The house rules say that the deck must be shuffled facing away from the players by someone who is not participating. As the only corporeal being left, Carlos had to take the dealer's role.

Kethelyn and Lucifer sat at the table found by Carlos somewhere in the mess. They both held their 7 cards from the uno deck, the starting card was in the center of the table, draw deck on the side. Carlos took a coin out of his pocket to decide who would start; Heads to Lucifer, Tails to Kethelyn.

The coin was tossed. Seconds of tension dragged on like hours. The coin fell into Carlos' hand. He opened his palm:

Heads.

***

It begins, Kethelyn's cards had nothing special, just a +2 red card as a special card and a predominance of reds, leaving with only one card for each other color.

The initial card, taken from the draw deck, was a green 3.

Lucifer started his attack, immediately launching a +2 green card. Kethelyn was unfazed, launching her red +2 card, doubling the attack and reversing the damage. Kethelyn, however, did not expect Lucifer to have a trick up his sleeve, as he placed another card in the pile.

+4.

Kethelyn had no way to counterattack this time, the medium let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her eight cards: three red, three green, one blue and a special card, a red reverse.

“Color?” asked the medium.

“Yellow.”

Kethelyn nodded and threw three cards of number 7 into the pile, the bottom one yellow, the top one red.

Lucifer had no choice but to draw and place the same color.

Kethelyn places her red reverse card — drawn from the batch she just took — and then two number 4 cards, red and green.

Lucifer draws again and soon passes.

Neither red nor green cards… maybe the advantage is coming back to me. Kethelyn thought.

Kethelyn places her card again, this time two cards numbered 0, green and red, respectively. But the card Lucifer had just drawn was also red, so he places it in the pile combined with another card, changing the game's color to blue.

The game continues with blue cards until the devil places a card numbered 2, where Kethelyn manages to change the game's color to red again. Lucifer draws, and passes. But just one round later, he uses the same trick on Kethelyn, this time changing the color to green, Kethelyn places a card, Lucifer draws and places.

It's number 1, green.

Kethelyn ponders, she has three cards at the moment, the numbers 1 and 6 in red and the number 9 in green. She could try to change the color to red, she knows that her opponent doesn't have any red cards, but it would certainly inconvenience her later. She knows that Lucifer doesn't have any green cards either, and getting rid of the green card would avoid inconvenience, so that was the most obvious option, right?

Kethelyn wasted no time, playing card 9.

Lucifer smiled demonically.

— Uno! — he exclaimed, throwing the yellow card 9 on the table.

Kethelyn wanted to bang her head on the table, how had she not realized he only had two cards? What will she do now? She doesn't have another 9 card and much less yellow cards, she doesn't know the number or color of the last card, if it isn't a special card! She can't lose this game.

I can’t… I can’t…

The necromancer's hands shook as she tried to pull the next card from the deck, so much that the entire deck slid off the table.

Carlos approached it with an intense look, he looked Kethelyn in the eyes, silently asking her to trust him. Kethelyn didn't understand, but trust she did.

Carlos picked up the cards from the floor and explained that he would have to shuffle everything again.

Wait, will he…?

The game of Uno that Kethelyn lost last time was changed after Carlos shuffled the game, he knew many card tricks, including how to manipulate a deck without looking suspicious, and would never hesitate to cheat his way to uno.

But how? The barrier would prevent…

Kethelyn realized.

Carlos was outside the barrier.

The barrier unables Kethelyn and Lucifer to cheat, but that didn't count the Croupier.

When Carlos put the deck back, Kethelyn's hands were stable, she pulled out the top card...

A +4.

Kethelyn almost cried with joy as she threw the card on the table.

Lucifer drew his cards resignedly and asked the color:

“Red.” Kethelyn felt triumphant.

Lucifer played his card and Kethelyn followed without any problems, this time she was the one shouting Uno.

She placed the red 6 card. The only card left in her hand was the red number 1.

But instead of passing, the devil placed a new card on the pile.

A yellow 6.

Kethelyn felt a growing despair. She still had a chance, but it was frustrating. She was so close…

The human pulled a card from the deck and almost cried with joy for the second time that day.

It was number 1 in yellow.

Kethelyn could hardly believe her luck.

“I won!” Kethelyn announced, throwing the letter into the pile and standing up. “I won!”

Lucifer sighed mockingly.

“It seems so” he replied, and added, narrowing his eyes “this time.”

Lucifer stood up, assuming a relaxed posture as he looked in Alice's direction.

“Are you coming or not?”

The spirit looked dazed, her form flickering like candlelight.

“Already?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? No going back now.”

“Yes, yes” Alice alternated her gaze between Lucifer and Kethelyn “I just need to do one thing first, quick.”

“You know you can't run away, right?”

“I know!” She yelled before disappearing.

Lucifer looked at Kethelyn and Carlos.

“Don't think it's over yet, kids.” He gave another devilish smile. “I have as many tricks up my sleeve as you.”

Alice returned before the humans could respond.

“Let's go!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, let's go.”

Lucifer looked at the couple one last time, and pointed his two fingers first at himself, then at them in an “I'm watching you” sign, and disappeared into the darkness.

Before Kethelyn could open her mouth, a notification.

Bank: your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you R$5,000.

Carlos looked at the cellphone screen clearly impressed.

“You know,” he broke the silence. “I kind of saved your life just now, so, I don't know... you could buy me a burger? As a thank you.”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Yeah, I guess we're even now, huh? I don’t know if there’s a burger place open at this hour, how about an açaí?

“Deal.”

They laughed.

Kethelyn wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

[wttcsms]

sorry if you're not comfortable answering this, but I saw you say that you've been diagnosed with depression. how did you know when to seek help?

tl;dr: from a young age, i never lived a healthy lifestyle with an easy pace. i (and maybe even my family) put too much pressure on me, and i never really coped with it in a healthy manner. my attempt at handling things "with ease" and "not stressing" was actually just me bottling up my emotions, and it's not until things started getting really bad that i finally sought help.

nothing uncomfy abt it at all! discussion of mental health is pretty important! tbh, i never thought i would have depression or be diagnosed with it; i started showing symptoms for around a year before i started really thinking to myself, hey, i think there might be something up with me mentally and this isn't just some silly, quirky thing i'm going through. ever since i was around 18, i went through great lengths to ensure i would achieve maximum academic success but while being a full-time college student and consistently working 60+ hours a week (70+ during the summer bc my junior year internship was so intense; i also went to college 2 years early, so i think that's when the internal pressure to "do well in life" began) was taking a massive toll on me mentally and physically. i would survive off of 4-5 hours of sleep, consume concerning amounts of caffeine, i was losing hair, i was losing drastic amounts of weight, i was breaking out and breaking down, and even when i got better, i still wasn't fully ever healed from that experience purely bc my schedule just never slowed down.

i am still a full-time student, i am still working 7 days a week, leading to 60+ hours (40 hours internship, 20 hours at my weekend part-time job). on top of that, i am in the second to last semester of my grad school, i help out around the house bc after my older sister moved out, i took over the eldest daughter duties, i am still holding myself to a very high standard academically (already planning to apply to phd programs, studying for the cpa exam, already have another summer internship lined up). i knew things were getting bad because 1) i am finally older (im abt to turn 21! yay!) and i realized that the lifestyle i'm living isn't healthy and 2) a lot of my behaviors didn't feel "normal" to me anymore. it finally hit me around two months ago, when i realized that i sort of lost my love for fanfiction. i've been in a weird mood where i didn't want to read any fanfic whatsoever, but i chalked it up to being "too busy" and focused on other things. when i couldn't even find the energy to read my own mutual's fanfic, i knew something was up bc i always try to power through and remain enthusiastic on my friends' behalf. more behaviors that were a cause for concern:

my disinterest in everything that brought me joy previously. sweet treats at the end of the day, coffee before work, buying makeup from sephora, cleaning my room (sounds silly, but i love having a clean living space and cleaning my room used to be a source of peace and joy for me), writing fanfiction, reading books, watching youtube videos, catching up on shows that would release weekly and that i used to count down the days to watch — none of it held my interest. i wasn't excited, i didn't care.

it wasn't just a lack of joy from things i loved, either. rejections from programs i looked forward to/rejections from opportunities, abysmal grades in class, looming deadlines that i most likely wouldn't make, growing assignments on my work to-do list; none of this elicited a reaction from me. there was no stress (that i was feeling; subconsciously, i think the stress was still there and i just refused to acknowledge it), but there also wasn't disappointment or sadness. i had no emotional response to anything, and that was very concerning to me, and the main reason i contacted my sister and then her boyfriend (who is a licensed psychiatrist)

i could sleep for 12+ hours a day. there are many days in the week where all i want to do is rot in bed. not even in a "go on my phone and dick around in bed" type of way, either. i would have certain days where i couldn't leave the bed. sometimes, i wouldn't even feel tired, but i would just sleep. my internship is wfh and if it was a slow day with no assignments, i would clock in and spend that whole day in my bed, sleeping. it got to the point where i wish work was busy so i would have something to force me out of bed. yes, i would be aware of my tiredness sometimes, but this felt different altogether. i just wanted to basically hibernate lol.

i had constant headaches. i thought it was because of the nature of my job, where i look at computer screens all day, or maybe it was bc i wasn't drinking enough water. i would also get unexplainable cramps sometimes.

tmi, but little to no pleasure and an extreme decline in interest in sex

i had extreme issues with focusing on work and studying; a lot of my work (and school materials) centers around thinking through problems and applying tax law or guidance to certain situations.

my diet fluctuated; some days, i wouldn't want to eat, yesterday, i gorged myself on food, eating to the point where even i had to pause and go wtf.

not very often was i randomly sad, nor did i ever want to kill myself or self-harm; when i was a teenager (17/18) and probably showing signs of depression, i was very irritable, angry, sad, and had suicidal thoughts, thought i was worthless, an idiot, etc. however, i mostly just feel empty and apathetic during my episodes now.

what helped me seek help was knowing that my behaviors and how i was feeling didn't feel healthy, but also, my best friend recently shared her diagnosis with me and i would have never thought she would be depressed. my sister's bf was also a major help in getting me comfortable to consider the possibility of having a mental illness and also in finding someone to talk to. hope this helps!

edit: forgot to mention it, but i exhibited many/all of those symptoms for around the past 3 months before ever seeking help. those behaviors started manifesting tremendously and seriously disrupting my daily life, and i knew i needed to do something to get my life back on track.

[humansofhds]

Anissa Abdel-Jelil, MDiv ’20

“I love hearing what people are working on and what they’re passionate about. I feel so grateful that we’re all co-conspirators, leaning into our unique gifts.”

Anissa is a third-year master of divinity candidate studying death in digital space and the political economy of digital remains.

Searching for Courage

During my time as an undergrad at Macalester College, I was very involved in religious and spiritual life. When it was time to graduate, I explored a couple of different options, but ultimately felt like I was on a quest for courage. I heard about the Pacific School of Religion’s “Changemaker Fellowship” and left Minnesota for the Bay Area in pursuit of the Certificate in Spirituality and Social Change.

I chose to go there because I was really inspired by PSR’s history of student activism in pursuit of social justice. I was on a quest for courage and wanted to be around people who I believed were courageous and bold. I felt that if I was in that environment, maybe through osmosis, I would become brave.

I really admired my classmates, from all walks of life, who put their bodies on the line for what they believed in and who tried to live in alignment with their values, as much as possible. I tried to emulate their strength and clarity in the grassroots interfaith work that I ended up doing. After a while, I felt like it might be time to explore grad school and wondered if a divinity school might be the perfect place for me to engage with some of the key questions that I had been holding.

I kind of pictured it as if I was this tea bag and that I was searching for a place that was going to be able to “steep me” in a productive way.

Exploring Multiplicities in Islam Through Reconstructed Magazine

While at the Divinity School, my colleagues Fatema Elbakoury, Sarah Hakani, and I co-founded Reconstructed magazine. Inspired by a class we took with Prof. Ali Asani, we established a creative magazine aimed at amplifying the works of creatives who carry a closeness to Islam, however evolving that proximity might be. The magazine is grounded in the belief that religion is a non-linear journey, and we hope that Reconstructed, more generally, will continue to be a space that values multimodal expression and multiplicities within Islam.

Our first volume, “Light Upon Light,” came out last summer, which was wild and incredibly exciting. It houses submissions from people all over the world—from Scotland, to California, to a correctional facility in North Carolina. We took some time to celebrate the work that went into the magazine and the people who submitted, and I can’t wait to see what volume two brings.

I’ve really enjoyed being part of a team that forever holds the belief that multiplicities are not only beautiful, but they’re honest and part of our tradition’s rich history. It’s been a joy exploring how curation can truly feel like a care-filled practice. I love thinking about the magazine as an artifact—a text that archives a moment and continues to speak back to us.

Investigating Death in Digital Space

I study the political economy of digital remains, which is just a fancy way of saying that there's an emerging market out there that profits off of our digital assets when we pass away—think Facebook profiles, Gmail accounts, etc. The presence of such a market raises a lot of questions around data privacy and ethics. I love studying this stuff because it makes me really think about what it means to have a body. Like what are (digital) bodies? And do we have the right to be forgotten in digital space? To what extent can the sale and trade of digital remains be performed ethically? Who should we entrust to be the stewards of digital remains? So many questions!

At the moment, there’s a lot of research done on the psychosocial experiences of engaging with deceased people’s social media accounts. Some argue that their continued presence is a means of continuing a relationship with the deceased, much like one might visit a gravesite. But, others argue that continuing to engage with deceased people’s digital assets actually interrupts, and poses new challenges to, the grieving process. Not that there's a single way to move through grief (and not like grief is linear), but I think the majority of the research that came out before those arguments were made was that this is a really interesting and cool thing in which people continue to post on people's social media profiles, as if they were able to either hear them or know that we're thinking of them. I think more recently, though, people have been a little bit more curious about how it's actually affecting our biopsychosocial, spiritual selves.

A lot of my coursework around this topic really crystalized when I took a class on death rites with Prof. Jyoti Puri—she was truly fantastic. I was nervous about being in such an intense class, but Prof. Puri made space for whatever was coming up for students and kept us on track. The course was a good complement to the more pastoral care types of classes that I’ve taken at HDS.

I also took “Spirituality, Healing, and Medicine” with Prof. Gloria White-Hammond and Prof. John Peteet—a course cross listed with Harvard Medical School. I learned a lot about advanced directives and the types of roles faith communities can play in facilitating challenging end-of-life conversations. On a separate note, some of the more general themes in this course equipped me with resources for the abortion support work I do.

Graduating During a Pandemic

I’ve been told “Do what you love, and the money will come.” But it’s hard not to think about money during a time like this. My dream job would be to do some kind of spiritual support related to reproductive health care. For a long time, I really wanted to be a chaplain at a fertility clinic, providing spiritual support to people on their reproductive health journeys. I'm trained in birth support, as a birth doula, and believe in full spectrum reproductive health support. What’s interesting is that grief can be such a huge part of one’s reproductive health journey, regardless of the situation. But it’s hard to find such a job.

Because graduation is around the corner, I’ve been doing more research on the types of organizations that are trying to disrupt the funeral industry. There are a number of organizations that want to help people make more informed decisions about how they say goodbye to their loved ones and what to do with what’s left behind. I hope to explore more of the work being done to minimize the funeral industry’s carbon footprint. I’ve been thinking a lot about how posthumously powering the dead, in digital space, has a real-life carbon footprint in the physical realm. I really wonder what decay looks like in digital space. Like does it exist! I hope someone will hire me to just ask these questions!

I don’t know if I really have the capacity, at the moment, to do any kind of reflection of my time at HDS. Things are wild and I feel like, aside from trying to distill the skills that I’ve learned in order to market them, much of how HDS has shaped me will become clearer as time passes. But I do see some distinct, yet cohesive threads in my different HDS pursuits. If I used hashtags or keywords to describe the work I've done at HDS, they would likely have to do with bodies as archives, memory work as a pietistic practice, and tracing genealogies of thought.

When it comes to my colleagues, I've really, truly appreciated how open and honest people have been with me about their experiences at HDS. I think it has made me feel less alone when things have felt hard. But most of all, I love hearing what people are working on and what they’re passionate about. I feel so grateful that we’re all co-conspirators, leaning into our unique gifts.

Interview by Kaitlin Wheeler

[sorcnn]

( KIM HONGJOONG. CIS MALE. ) Rumor has it that ( SOREN PARK  ) has been spotted skulking around  New York City streets recently. ( HE ) is a ( 19 ) year old ( LYCAN. ) They have a good reputation for being( LOQUACIOUS + AFFECTIONATE, ) but have also been known to be rather ( FLIGHTY - CHILDISH. ) They’re known for being the ( INFLUENCER. )

do you see what i see in this gif? that is an actual literal puppy and therefore, the perfect fc for my lycan!son. also he’s a rl baby and so i had to play him as a baby. i’m actually going to try and keep this brief this time and so the sparknotes summary is that the main posted this suggested muse prompt “ a college student / influencer that got turned but still manages to live their cute lil unbothered life & really doesn’t care about any of the politics “ and i said BET. anyways here’s wonderall soren:

born from first generation korean immigrants, soren was the ray of light of his household and everything revolved around him. not in a spoiled way because his family didn’t really have a lot with which to spoil him but in the sense that he was the vessel into which both his hard working parents put all of their hopes and dreams. he was going to be the one to take advantage of all that ‘america’ has to offer (air quotes bc i hate my country)!! no pressure or anything.

from the outset, it was clear that soren was bright. he learned english alongside his parents and picked it up as quickly as his korean. he absorbed numbers, shapes, words, all with a voracity with which his overjoyed parents almost couldn’t keep up

however, alongside his natural intellect, soren also had a wealth of energy that sometimes directly worked against his learning abilities. often coming across as airy and flighty, soren always had to be doing something. going somewhere. letting out all that pent up boredom somehow! he loved climbing, running, dancing, playing. sitting down for his lessons was fine at first but he quickly tired and had to go-go-go onto something else.

when he was tested at a physical, he would be proven to have a nearly eidetic memory and a high testing iq but just... a very small attention span as a result. almost like his tiny body just didn’t have the space for all those brains and so it was escaping him in other ways.

but no matter, he found ways to make it work! certain study tactics were better for him (intensive notes, color coding w added doodles etc) but also like... skipping the studying sometimes and just taking the test blind kept him from tiring of the material 

surrounding himself with people also helped immensely. as soon as he was able to branch out and make friends, soren found an outlet for some of that restlessness. he could channel it into other people, learning everything about them and being the most attentive and loyal gd friend he could be. he’d have study groups and hangouts and just generally was able to be a lot more productive academically while also becoming reasonably popular. 

by the time he hit high school age, he was top of his class, well liked at school and he’d found a passion for science and anatomy that would eventually translate into a med school path!! 

he also started dating. boys girls, it didn’t really matter to ren. he liked people and he liked getting to know them one on one. just like he was in his friendships, he was an attentive boyfriend and that was when he fell in love with the idea of being in love. 

basically, despite not coming from much, he lived a charmed life. and to be honest? he wasn’t an asshole about his popularity nor intelligence. he was infuriatingly kind and never made a single enemy in his entire life.

he graduated a year early and with a full scholarship to a pre-med program at a prestigious ny university.  he was excited to start secondary education and felt like it’d be a challenge for once, academically and socially. he was excited to explore young adulthood and like, living on his own! parties! more friendships and relationships!

monetarily, though, moving to the big city was going to be hard. he didn’t have a job and although obviously he was getting his tuition #paid, there was still housing and the general price of living... it was gonna be a financial strain and he couldn’t just ask his parents to fork over the cash.

so he started looking for ways he could help himself. he had tried summer jobs before but his immaturity and short attention span got him fired from all of them. this was even more serious -- he’d not be able to get started on living his Dream if he didn’t get and keep employment!! 

the answer came about on accident. as a popular kid (and a cute one at that) of course he had social media. over the last two-three years of high school, his accounts blew up because he really dressed to that vintage aesthetic eboy audience. instagram was especially fun and ended up being something he was good at -- he could work out his energies finding shooting locations and coming up with fun ways to take his own pictures (or getting friends involved, taking their pictures, etc. he’s that post-millennial gen you KNOW they were annoying hipsters about it but we love him ok)

sponsorships were the start but not where it ends. soren made a pretty penny through his insta the summer leading up to his freshman year start date and it was enough to get him going but he needed more. 

freshman year was a dream come true! he loved his classes, made fast friends and got his first college boyfriend. life was great and he didn’t want to let that shatter just because his apartment payments were steep and the price of living was ridiculous in the city. there were breakups and all nighters and less than 100% tests but he was? doing his best!! so ofc he wanted to find a way to continue to sustain his independence... 

what he’s doing now isn’t really sugar babying, okay... but like you know those patreon egirls who make money sending pictures and videos to their patrons? and whose content is sorta cutesy but also a little side eye? that’s kind of where soren ended up and he’s v successful at it. he’s making decent cash every month and it goes hand in hand with his social media influencer career’s climb. win-win!

he had the equation for success! which is why being bitten by a lycan kinda wasn’t in the plans. 

it happened pretty fcking recently. i haven’t completely married myself to the idea of how he was turned -- whether it was just by accident by a stranger or some incident with a lover etc but regardless, it was definitely not what he INTENDED OK. there aren’t a lot of lycan transformation tutorials on instagram so he was panicking and disappeared from socials for the start of the summer. 

now he’s affiliated with the pack but also ... he’s still just doing his best to pretend it’s not a thing. he wants to keep with his schooling (were there doctor lycans? he wants to be a labor & delivery doctor, was that allowed? so many q’s he was just gonna ignore rip) and doesn’t care for the politics AT ALL. especially the fact that he’s meant to be suspicious of the vampires. why would he do that when he’s probably never been mean to someone in his whole life? 

summary: hyper, bright, overly loving fresh lycan pup who is in denial that his life has to change in any way. friendly & naturally flirty -- dates like it’s his second (third?) job, wants to befriend the world and make it a better place which leaves no room for lycan-vampire politics! hongjoong irl is ... teeny. so once again i’m playing a character closer to 5 feet tall than 6 and maybe i have a problem but we’re gonna ignore it! LIKE THIS to maybe plot that’s all. this was shorter than val’s... surely...

[spellbounding-slytherin]

So, talking about my Novels a bit more....

Hey there its Vira!

Thought I would talk about my novels a bit more, just so you guys know what you all would be getting into.

So, lets talk about Novel 1.

The Rings of Gallilea: Sworn to Rebirth

(Aka: TROG/ TROGSTR)

So here are the main plot points of the novel:

It is the sacred duty of the Celestial Trinity (the Sun, Moon and Earth) to protect the life in their solar system from outside alien threats

An imperial speciest race known as the Cantillians dub Humans inferior to them, thus sparking a war between them the Celestial Trinity.

The nine planets ally themselves with the Celestial Trinity to protect themselves from a God-destroying weapon created by the Cantillians known as the Catalyst.

The Rings of Gallilea are formed in an attempt to protect the solar system.

The goddess of the moon utilizes their influence on humanity to create a re-birthing curse. As long as humanity shares legends of the gods they will not die.

During a battle with the Cantillian emperor (known as the Serpent) Earth is hit by the Catalyst, destroying his physical form.

One-by one the Rings of Gallilea and the Celestial Trinity fall.

Eventually it is only Mercury The god of knowledge, Moon, the goddess of magic and Pluto rhw God of Alchemy left

In order to save humanity, Moon forces Mercury to give her an "unforgettable" curse so she will retain her memories as a goddess.

Moon uses what is left of her magical power to trap the Cantillian emperor in a diffrent dimension, before she is killed.

Moon falls to earth taking on the form of a human infant.

She is found by the son of a former cult leader and raised moon aware of her godly identity.

Out of gratitude, moon grants her new father figure the "Power of The North Star" and shares a magical bond with him

Their mission now, is to locate the fallen Gods and prepare them for the fight against the looming Cantillian threat.

In summary:

The Rings of Gallilea is a magical Sifi adventure, with sub themes of romance, and drama. The message of The Rings of Gallilea is self-sacrifice, defying fate, humility and mercy along with second chances.

Lets meet our cast!

Luna Abyss- our female lead, Luna is the Goddess of the moon and Magic. Before what Luna refers to as "The Fall" she was regal, elegant and refined. Growing up on earth with her drunkard guardian Victor, and running from government officials who seem to pick up on Luna's signals wherever she goes changed her quite a bit. Luna uses her twin blades Artemis and Frigga to fight off the Cantillian forces sent by recon forces. Luna likes dancing to loud music at ungodly hours, getting fast food at midnight, dogs, and exploring places she probably shouldn't.

Terra Greenwood- Our male lead, Terra is the God of Earth, Nature and humanity. Terra grew up with his Grandma after his dad walked out on his drug-addicted mother. Terra is a member of the Apache Indians, and lives on a reservation in Greenville New Mexico. Terra, despite struggling with depression and minor anger issues, dreams of living a normal life. Getting a good education, a well paying job, taking his grandma and moving far away from Greenville....that Is until Luna shows up. Terra fights with his magic spear Gia, and can command Earth and Nature on a whim. While his abilities are still weak, with some training there is no doubt that Terra can return to his former Glory. Terra enjoys driving his old pickup truck down town, while listening to the hard rock radio station, helping his grandma take care of her garden, and hanging out with his best friends Mitchel and John.

Stella Brighton- our rich mean girl archetype. Stella is the goddess of the Sun. Stella grew up in her mother's mansion sheltered away from the middle and lower class, until one day she forms an unlikely friendship with Terra. An Unlikely friendship turns into an unlikely crush and an unlikely romance. That is until Stella's hopes and dreams are crushed when she discovers her mother and Stepfather have planned an arranged marriage for her. Stella breaks off her relationship with Terra and keeps her head held-high. Stella fights with her fiery bow, Apollo, and can spark a wildfire wherever she pleases. Stella enjoys shopping, traveling, taking selfies, and flaunting her status as Student Council President.

Mitchel James- the Nerd boy archetype, Mitchel is the God of Mercury, Knowledge and Communication (arguably revenge as well) As a young lad, Mitchel idolized his dad, who was in the military. Oftentimes it would be him and his mom while his dad was on deployment. Mitchel took a liking to computer science and technology, because thanks to that he was able to keep in touch with his dad even when he was far away. When Mitchel was 8 years old his dad died in active duty, and it wasn’t long until his mom took to a Sugar Baby lifestyle to try and provide for Mitchel without having to get a job. Mitchel is bullied at school for being the scrawny nerd boy, and takes revenge on his bullies by hacking into their computers and leaking their search history. After Luna rolls into town Mitchel's world is flipped upside down. Suddenly he isn’t armed with just brain-power but physical power. Mitchel fights in a way that is unique to the Rings of Gallilea. Mitchel can create Angels to fight as champions for him. He also uses a Chackram named Athena. Mitchel enjoys hacking into local security cameras to see whats up around town, exploring the dark web, arguing with radical political activists on-line.

John Kingsman- The play-boy Archetype, John is the God of Jupiter Kings, and lightning. John lives what is arguably the best life of anyone in the rings. His parents breed police dogs. Meaning his house is always full of puppies. John's dad is a former military officer, and both him and his mom are current police force members. John is the baby in his family, but is held to high standards. Be home before 7, get good grades, and take care of the dogs. John fights with his Claymore Sword, Odin, along with special abilities like lighting and psychological manipulation. John, obviously enjoys taking the dogs for walks, playing basketball, and going to the shooting range with his mom.

Hotaru Kawaguchi- The goth archetype, and Goddess of Saturn, Time and Death. Hotaru's parents immigrated to the United States after the death of Hotaru's older brother, Hikaru. They came here to give the intellectually gifted Hotaru better opportunities as she grew older. To help support her, the family opened a restaurant in the down town area that quickly became one of the most popular spots in town. Hotaru never really got over Hikaru's death, and took comfort in the macabre. Over summer, Hotaru picks up a second job to earn enough money to afford her dream car, working in an occult shop. She also finds herself involved in an unlikely summer romance. Aside from being able to freeze time and communicate with the dead, Hotaru fights with her staff, Hades, that can transform into a scythe. Hotaru loves books and quite sunny spaces, she likes painting, meditation, watching Elvira specials, and helping her mother and father learn better English.

Aries Vailakis- the Jock archetype, God of Mars and war. Just like Stella he too grew up with rich parents. His family comes a from proud Greek heritage, and own a chain of Mediterranean style restaurants. Aries is a star member of the football team, and is expected to take over the family business when he gets out of college. Most people think there isn't much to Aries other than food and football, sometimes Aries thinks that too. But being a competitive teenage god, can lead to some intense shenanigans. Especially when family, love and blackmail are involved. Aries fights with some seriously thick brass knuckles that spit fire. His brass knuckles can also transform into a large shield, Neiro. Aries likes cooking, working out, watching horror movies with his S/O, and very secretly likes looking at minimalist homes in the Greek countryside in homeowner's magazines.

June Smith, the flip Archetype, Goddess of Venus beauty, seduction and battle. June's mom divorced her dad to be with another man when she was young. Years later June would find out she died of cancer without telling her or her father. Needless to say June had a rough start in life. Given that her dad was the high school principal, she couldn't even act out and punch some nerd in the face. In the day light June masquerades as the nerdy turtleneck loving teacher's pet kinda girl. At night June flips ditching her turtle neck for something low cut and preferably leather. Sneaking out under the ruse of sleep or studying, June slips out to hang out on the edge of town with the local biker gang known as the Black Cat Bikers. Junes got the best of both worlds, her dad wrapped around her finger, and her legs wrapped around the back of her boys bikes. June fights with the sword Atalanta, and can change into any weapon June sees fit. June can also manipulate peoples hormones, making them fall for her or anyone. June will never admit it, but she likes wearing pink fluffy sweaters, she also loves getting fucking drunk, going out to see drag shows, sleeping in until noon, and playing with makeup.

Serena Paisley- The hippy archetype- Serena is the Goddess of Neptune, the ocean and family. Serena is the younger twin sister of Heath. Serena grew up close to her mother, who was somewhat of helicopter parent. Serena’s mother owns a brewing company, and is heavily involved in the Greenvile political scene. growing up in a spotlight Serena wanted to use her spotlight to encourage others to do good, and can often be found doing charity work. One big secret Serena has, is that she is a big fan of smoking weed. being a politicians daughter was a stressful job after all. Serena, can command any body of water and has great people skills. Her very loyal weapon is her trident, Namaka. Serena’s hobbies include Yoga, smoking weed, collecting crystals, playing the pan-flute, and thrift store shopping. 

Heath Paisley- The rich boy archetype- Heath is the God of Uranus, Ice, Snow and Vengeance. Heath, is the polar opposite of his sister. He grew up chasing the affections of his long-distance father, who is an actor in Hollywood. Heath has a cold demeanor, and takes a some-what sadistic pleasure in controlling others. He is the student council president at the private school he and Serena attend, Hayden Heights Academy. Heath is secretly insecure about his sexuality, and is in denial about being attracted to men. Heath spends a majority of his time covering for his sisters ‘distasteful shenanigans” in student council meetings, or following in the footsteps of his politician mother. Heath has the power to control Ice, and cold temperatures, he can also force criminals to admit their deeds.Heath fights with twin sickles Poli’Ahu and Endymion.His hobbies include: casual business luncheons, bossing his underclassmen around, and he secretly likes it when his S/O leans over his shoulder while he is trying to work. 

Romeo Barns- The rebel archetype- Romeo is the God of Pluto, Alchemy, and Transformation. Romeo has always felt like a social outcast, specifically because he discovered his godly powers at a young age. Romeo lives with his overly preachy preacher uncle, who believes in only one good god above. Romeo, being a sarcastic little shit, decides he needs to be everything his uncle isn't. Romeo sells weed for the Black Cat Biker Gang, his true "Family". Which is how a filthy little grunge rat like him became friends with Serena Paisley. Roemo's godly body grows organic blade-like structures which he can use to defend himself. His clawed-gauntlets, Thanatos and Cerberus add an extra punch. In his spare time Romeo can be seen around town riding his motorcycle. At night he is out spraying unique and vulgar messages on billboards. At school he likes to read the "boring unpopular books" like Catcher in The Rye and Lord of The Flies, and strumming along to his favorite songs on his base guitar

And thats just novel number 1! I'll make a second post about novel number 2 since this is already a quite lengthy post.

Let me know what you guys think, and if you wanna see more.

See ya later

- Vira!

[galaxyhopscotch]

Practical Tips for Studying Abroad

There are lots of google-able lists of best things to do to study abroad, so I won’t cover everything. But I do have a few practical tips for college students interested in studying abroad.

I studied abroad a few years ago in Costa Rica, and these things all helped me:

Side note: I use college and university pretty interchangeably, because that’s what we do where I’m from.

1. Study Abroad Office

Even if it’s on the opposite side of campus, get your ass over there. They will have a zillion resources for you-- pamphlets, flyers, program booklets, and trained staff who are familiar with most of the big name programs and study abroad companies.

Speak with a staff member at the Study Abroad Office. You are not bothering them. They are paid to help you. Their job description includes helping students figure shit out. Their purpose is to help you out. 99% of the time they are very nice and friendly. You may have to make an appointment, because certain times of year they are helping a lot of students at once. That doesn’t mean you are less important-- you just might need to set up a specific time where they can help you one-on-one.

Go to a Study Abroad Fair. They will have students from your college/university who studied abroad as well as several companies who try to sell you on going with their program. Take their pamphlets and booklets. If you are really interested, give them your school email. Listen to the students who have been to your ideal location. Ask them questions. Get excited!

In each program booklet, there is usually a guide to what major is suited to each of the study abroad locations/programs. For example, my major was biology, so I wanted to pick a study abroad program where I could take biology classes. I ended up going to Costa Rica with a company called USAC, because they offered (a) tropical biology electives (b) the credits transferred to my school (c) i could also take cultural classes while I was there. You’ll want to find a program that works for your major and your specific needs.

2. Planning

Start looking into your study abroad options approximately two semesters before you plan to go. Deadlines creep up fast, and usually there is a LOT of paperwork that needs to get filed before you can go. You’ll need a passport, travel insurance, and a ton of paperwork needs to be signed by both you and your school and your study abroad program. You need to be organized about it, and give yourself plenty of time to deal with people who lose your paperwork and for walking all over campus to get signatures (it happens). You don’t want to be caught 3 hours before the deadline only to be told someone is out of the office for the day and can’t sign your paperwork.

Talk with your academic advisor for your major. Tell them you want to study abroad. Figure out how this will affect your class schedule and your academic plan. Are you determined to graduate in 4 years? Find a study abroad program that includes interesting classes from your major. Do you want to graduate in 5 years? You may have a little more wiggle room.

MAKE SURE YOUR CREDITS CAN TRANSFER! I cannot stress this enough. Please, please, please double and triple check this. Run it by the study abroad office AND your academic advisor.

Troubleshooting: Your advisor doesn’t know shit. Ah yes, the bane of every student’s existence: the academic advisor who doesn’t know what they are doing. I had one of these. I checked in with him once a semester about my plan, but he always told me the wrong information and if I had been depending only on him, I would have been severely fucked. 

So. I ended up secretly seeing a different professor for advice about my academic plan. I also used my school’s website extensively to figure out what requirements I still needed to fill.

Finding a better advisor can rub people the wrong way, so I would develop a rapport with one of the long time academics who have been teaching at your school for a millennia. Then broach the topic about classes. A lot of the older professors are well aware that some people in the department aren’t good advisors-- they’ve heard about it before.

That said, never badmouth a professor in front of another professor. It’s very unprofessional and makes you look bad. But I might say something like, “Dr. [x] told me that I didn’t need to take another physics class, but I was so sure that I did. Do you know if they changed the requirements recently?”

You may be able to request a new advisor. Only do this if you are 110% certain that you will never need to take a class with that professor ever again. Otherwise you might get yourself into more trouble.

You can also ask for advice in the office dedicated to your major. (Usually each major will have an office dedicated to it on campus.) Usually there is someone there that can help you!

3. Picking a program

Things to consider when picking a program: what your major is, what language you want to learn / what cultures you are interested in, cost, and safety.

Types of programs and cost:

Direct Exchange: means you will pay the same price as your regular tuition. Usually these programs have an agreement between the university abroad and your home university. A very good option if you want to keep your spending somewhat the same.

Through a program provider: you will coordinate between your home school and a program provider (who will organize mostly everything for you). Costs vary. Some are more expensive than your home university and some are less expensive.

Summer programs: what it says on the tin. Usually shorter than spring/fall programs, and have a more intensive work load, and costs marginally less. A good option if you have a busy schedule and don’t want to be gone for a full semester during the year.

Language and Culture

One of the best things about studying abroad is learning about a different language and culture. I would highly recommend going to a country where they speak a different language than you do. 

It would be extremely helpful if you knew a little bit of the language before you left! A good place to start preparing is Duolingo, Memrise, and any variety of podcasts that are out there for you to download for free. Also check your campus for language exchange programs, where you can set up a time to meet with classmates from different countries. You can practice each other’s target languages together!

Remember that you are an ambassador of sorts for your home country. For the love of God, don’t be obnoxious and self-entitled. You need to put your best foot forward and present a good name for your home country. Don’t prove bad stereotypes right.

Living with a host family

THE BEST PART OF STUDY ABROAD, IMO. You will adjust to the culture much better if you live with a host family. You will also learn so so so much more, practice your target language every day, improve your listening skills astronomically, and be able to make strong cross-cultural connections. You may even become close enough that you get to visit them again in the future!

Go with the flow and accept differences. Don’t view the differences as better or worse than your home country-- it is merely a different way of doing things. Adjust your behavior to what is done in your new country. For example, if everyone takes off their shoes before entering a home-- make sure you do that too! If someone tells you that you will get sick if you are barefoot on cold tile floors-- put on sandals!

Try every food they put in front of you. In a lot of cultures, it is offensive to refuse the offer of food. Accept food when it is offered with a smile. Does the food smell strange or disgust you? Keep an open mind and try it. You might even like it!

Culture shock and reverse culture shock

I didn’t experience culture shock when I arrived in Costa Rica, but I remember being blindsided by reverse culture shock when I got home. My best tip is to make strong friendships with your classmates and host families. They help you through the adjustment period immensely. And when you get home? Keep in touch with the friends you made abroad. Tell them how hard it is to adjust back to your home country. And know it gets better.

4. Safety

Are you visibly LGBTQ+?

Look extensively into the country’s recent LGBTQ+ debates. Make sure that you will be safe there.

Do you belong to a racial, ethnic, or religious minority?

Look into the country’s history with people from your background. Look into the recent political movements. Look into the recent social issues being debated in that country. Is there a rise in islamophobic, antisemitic, anti-black, anti-latino, anti-[x] sentiment in that country? Are they dealing with anti-immigrant sentiment focused on people that look like you?

Political turmoil

There are a lot of countries across the world that are in political turmoil right now. Please look extensively into the current political debates and issues.

Sign up for alerts about areas to avoid.

This is the link to the US Consulate, which gives you current information for people traveling abroad:

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories.html

Remember that studying abroad should be a joyous, exciting experience. Don’t go anywhere that your life could be in danger.

That’s all for now, but as I think of things I might try to make a second post.

Keep in mind that this is all coming from someone who lives in the USA. Things may be different depending on where you live and where you are planning on going!

tl;dr: You need to do a lot of research and planning before you go, but in the end it will be so worth it! Get excited! Have fun!

[brella]

i feel like we always ask you about books so today i wanna ask you some anime recs :)

HOW INTERESTING THAT YOU SHOULD COME TO ME NOW, JUST AFTER I FINISHED ATTEMPTING TO BRIBE A TWITTER MUTUAL WITH A PHYSICAL CAKE SO THAT SHE WOULD WATCH AN ANIME I LOVE. i am always happy to share anime recs. 

ping pong: the animation (dir. masaaki yuasa): effusive yutaka “peco” hoshino and reserved makoto “smile” tsukimoto have been best friends since day one, and both of them love to play ping pong. peco, a child prodigy at the sport, loves it with all of his soul, and is so confident in his own talent that he’s become arrogant; while smile, in spite of his natural talent, does not take ping pong seriously, seeing it as nothing more than a way to pass the time. things are shaken up for the boys by the arrival of wenge “china” kong, a chinese player sent to redeem himself in japan after being kicked off the national team, who skunks peco in their first match, sending him spiraling into crisis; meanwhile, smile catches the interest of the school’s coach, a former star player, who is determined to make sure smile does not waste his talent. also joining the cast are manabu “akuma” sakuma, peco’s belligerent rival since childhood, and ryuichi “dragon” kazama, vanguard of the elite ping pong team at kaio academy. when all is said and done, will smile and peco’s friendship—and the love of ping pong that bonds them—remain? i urge everyone to watch this anime; it is perhaps the best i’ve ever seen. a work of art, of joy, of sadness and failure and triumph—a tribute to being alive, and to what it means to love something so much you feel like there’s no point in being alive if you can’t do it. and the animation, voice acting, and score are outstanding! 11 episodes.

the tatami galaxy (dir. masaaki yuasa): an unnamed college student is perpetually dissatisfied with his life, bemoaning the fact that he can never seem to grasp that “rose-colored campus life” he was certain he would have upon attending college in kyoto. just about the only thing he has in his corner is his mischievous frenemy, ozu, who drags him into scheme after scheme that only seem to make his situation worse; and a fellow student, akashi, who the protagonist has feelings for, but can never quite seem to spit it out. after a bad break-up sends him over the edge into total cynicism, he starts to wonder if his college years would have been spent differently (i.e., better) if he had chosen to join a different club on his first day. unbeknownst to him, the desire to go back and do it over again does send him back in time—each episode is an alternate timeline based on which club he joined. no matter how things change, though, he always seems to keep running into ozu, to just miss akashi, and to get involved with a man calling himself higuchi, who claims to be a god of matrimony; a bone-headed popular senior named jougasaki; and a beautiful but intense dental hygienist named hanuki. in the protagonist’s quest for the perfect college life, however, will he miss what’s right in front of him? i really love yuasa as you can probably tell and this, just like ping pong, is beautifully animated, great fun, and unexpectedly moving. a testament to the little things, to seeing the beauty and wonder in what we have. and the opening and ending are GOD TIER. 11 episodes.

gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun (dir. mitsue yamazaki): if you somehow haven’t watched this yet, please love yourself and do it. a romantic comedy series that follows 16-year-old chiyo sakura’s attempts to woo her crush, umetarou nozaki, gsnk, contrary to the shoujo form, actually begins with her confessing to him—but he misunderstands and gives her... his autograph?! yes, it turns out nozaki moonlights as a hugely successful shoujo romance mangaka, and he’s been needing an assistant, and sakura is in the art club... convenient! this show has it all—uproarious humor, masterful comedic timing, incredibly charming characters, and just the right dose of heartfelt romance to warm any heart. other cast members include mikoto mikoshiba, nozaki’s best friend, whose flirtatious antics constantly cause him to nearly die of embarrassment; yuzuki seo, chiyo’s best friend, a brash and oblivious jock with a beautiful singing voice; hirotaka wakamatsu, a mild-mannered basketball player constantly aggrieved by seo’s bullying; yuu kashima, star of the drama club and dashing prince of the school; and masayuki hori, drama club president and kashima’s ever-frustrated director. love is in the air not just for sakura, but for a few others, as well—it’s going to be an interesting year! 12 episodes.

kids on the slope (dir. shinchiro watanabe): kaoru nishimi is a shy and depressed honor student, classically trained to play the piano, who has spent his entire life moving from town to town due to the nature of his father’s job. at the beginning of the summer of 1966, he is sent to a small coastal town in kyushu to live with relatives, and is prepared for another year of loneliness until his world is turned on its axis when he meets delinquent sentaro kawabuchi. the two develop a strange and unlikely friendship, and kaoru soon discovers that sentaro, or sen, is an avid fan of jazz, then an emergent form of music in japan, and plays the drums in the basement of a record store owned by the family of his childhood friend, ritsuko mukae, with whom kaoru immediately falls in love. when ritsuko says that she would love to hear kaoru and sen play together, kaoru begins to acquaint himself with jazz, too, and finds that it holds more magic than he expected. part classic coming-of-age drama, part love letter to the jazz genre, this series was, fun fact, directed by the man behind cowboy bebop and samurai champloo—so, like, if that isn’t a testament to its quality, i don’t know what is. it will make you cry, though. just warning you. 

silver spoon (dir. tomohiko ito): desperate to escape the pressures of his home life, beleaguered honor student yuugo hachiken foresakes his chances of attending an elite tokyo high school and applies to ezonoo agricultural school in hokkaido. at first holding himself a rung above his peers, due to his perception of them as bumpkins who have never had to work hard academically due to their security as farmers, hachiken quickly learns that there’s a lot he doesn’t know, and he’ll have to work hard if he wants to keep up with his peers. though initially withdrawn, hachiken comes to make many new friends, and soon begins to take his studies seriously, earnestly trying to learn all he can about the world of agriculture and how it affects the lives of his friends. this series is easily something i’d call “the feel-good story of the decade,” but it also has many profound and emotional moments, and a hugely relatable protagonist in hachiken. it’s definitely a comedy, but at its heart, it’s one of those special series that kind of takes your hand and smiles at you and says, “yeah. i get it. i know how you feel. but it’s all right. life’s pretty fun, even if you don’t notice.”

hyouka (dir. yasehiro takemoto): to this day i’m still a bit stunned that kyoto animation managed to come out with something as good as hyouka, since it’s so different from their other works, but the truth is there. it’s simple, with a cast of only four characters and few recurring side ones; a subdued score using mostly public domain classical pieces, a quiet high school as the backdrop, a close and intimate portrait of the four kids it brings together. the PV actually does a fine job of introducing the characters—apathetic houtarou, inquisitive eru, cheerful satoshi, and caustic mayaka—so i won’t go into that too much. essentially, houtarou is urged by his sister to sign up for the classics club after no one else does, since it will be disbanded if it does not have at least one member. much to his surprise, someone else already has signed up by the time he does—a curious girl named eru with an insatiable appetite for mysteries. though houtarou lives by a philosophy of what he calls “energy conservation,” eru has a power over him (read: he has a big, beautiful crush on her) that compels him to go along with her antics, and his penetrating intellect doesn’t help much. satoshi, houtarou’s best friend, and mayaka, a childhood... acquaintance of houtarou’s, also join the club, and hyouka chronicles all of the things that happen to them over the course of their school year. when asked about the meaning behind the title (”hyouka” means “frozen dessert”), the author of the novels said, “the colour of youth is like ice cream. its many flavours are like the spectrum of a rainbow, but no matter how it tastes, what doesn’t change is its richness and flavour. another distinguishing feature of ice cream is the short time one has to eat it, and how we must take care to avoid polluting it. it’s just like how youth is full of numerous possibilities, but its fragile and limited energy is easily challenged by the outside world.” i think that probably speaks for itself in alluding to the bittersweet tone of the series. it really is one of my favorites.

and, because my fingers are getting tired: yu yu hakusho is my favorite shounen series by a mile and one of the few for which i highly recommend the dub—it’s long though, 100+ episodes, but worth every minute. i’ll be glad to go into why yyh specifically is the best in a separate post if anyone is interested bc hoo boy. uchouten kazoku season 1 is great and one of my favorites but season 2 was kind of eh to me. if you like action and tragic romance, kyoukai no kanata is my second-fave kyoani series after hyouka, though it does have some fanservicey bits and fetishy humor that kind of date it a little bit. and if you haven’t started boku no hero academia yet—PLEASE GET ON THAT; IT’S SO MUCH FUN! 

and, of course, the anime of my heart and soul: lovely complex, a romcom about a tall girl and a short boy, and their arduous, hilarious, heart-melting journey from vitriolic best buds to lovers. hits all the right notes. no other shoujo compares. it’s a series that anyone and everyone can AND WILL enjoy. 

i hope that’s enough to get you started! :’D pls let me know what you think if you watch any 

[artdjgblog]

Innerview: Cathy Fishel / Print Magazine August 2005 Image:​ Print Magazine​ Note: Interview for the Print Regional Design Annual.

Introduction: Cathy…Sorry you missed me. Sorry to miss you. Thanks for the message (sorry it cut you off in the middle of your phone number). Things are a bit intense as summer brings a new definition of BUSY. Work. Work. Work. Many thanks for the kind words about my work and I. It means so much. Yeah, I am sure it is chore to sift through all of the junk I’ve been dumping on the PRINT headquarters every March for the past three years or so…(I feel like a true failure if I send less than fifty entries). It is funny because just last week I was thinking about the upcoming PRINT Regional Annual and how I had not heard back on if I was selected…and I guess I have been…how many? And what? I am very curious. I had pretty much written it off. Thanks for informing me…I suppose I was supposed to receive notice upon that a while back…what happened there? Same thing happened to me last year. Out of curiosity I called somebody at PRINT last year and sure enough they had contacted me at the wrong address or something like that…I hope that wasn’t the case again. We need to get that straightened out…indeed. Certainly, I am thrilled to participate in this little questionaire. Wow, i’ve always wanted to. You don’t have to worry about smearing my name from anything said. I don’t care. Here we go… ​​01) How has the pace of business/number of jobs been in the past year as compared to the previous year? The pace is as thick as I want it and when I have sleep to deprive. I’ve always held other jobs and currently work a massive sixty-two hour weekly schedule as a groundskeeper and a janitorial supervisor…thus, cramming design into my pockets…and whenever I can squeeze it in my free time or find it under the pillow in the wee morning. I never actively seek my work due to time constraints and exhaustion…not yet, at least…and besides, the majority is word of mouth. Most of the time I just make stuff. Some of the time I get a nice little call or email and then just make more stuff. 0​2) Why is it up or down? The numbers (ups/downs) are slim if you stack them to my three previous so-called “professional” years…of course it’s due to my lack of time…fatigue…getting older…and mostly because I don’t really have a definite connection with my clients like I used to…and I don’t live with bands, attend concerts or am around my clients as much as I used to…(in case you’re wondering, my primary source of work is in the local independent music industry). Also, I am not as twenty-four-seven-gung-holike I was when I first started. I’ve accomplished most everything I set out to do at this point…(perhapsI’m just settling and need to mark a new planner?). 0​3) Has there been any surprises in the past year? Good or bad? Surprises in my work and thoughts come quite often. Sometimes it’s mush. Sometimes they come as sneakeries. The only real surprises come when I get random calls/emails from kind Print editors, designers requesting copies of posters, people wanting to put me in their books, seeing my work in books/magazines next to my inspirations/peers…and recent college graduates persuing job opportunities with my bedroom design operation. It’s all good…never bad…well, the only bad thing would be that I have to shell out good money for the good books that I’m in. 0​4) Has there been an influx of a new sort of work or client in your office? In the design community as a whole? Honestly, the only new things I approach are the things that come with each new day and in thought. I try to treat each design day new. Nothing I do is new to the worlds, other than in my own. I do thumb magazines a bit and I am a bit of a junky with design/culture and such…and I do keep my eyes open at all times…though, sometimes too much of it can make me not like design or anything. It’s getting to be way over-impacted with the idea that everyone thinks themselves to be a designer. Most of the only new sort of work that really kicks me (or I even consider new) comes from scraps of paper I find and hand painted ghetto signage. Though, if we’re talking professional work, I guess there is some good stuff coming out of the local climate. And of course I guess there is always good stuff coming out of the woods everywhere. Others might lump me in there somewhere. I don’t really know or care. 0​5) What is the economic climate like there in general? I was bummed when Quik Trip ended their “Cheap Drink Summer” so soonly…however, I’ve always got the Hostess thrift store two blocks away. I always find free junk in the streets and at work in the trash…and I always find great deals on paper and “whatevers” at thrift stores. No matter if I don’t cash in on design…I’ve always got cheap fuel to burn…and I will always barter for goods and services…if the price is right/not right. 0​6) Have any large clients closed or left the area? Who? Most of the rock ‘n’ rollers are skinny little dudes and I’m the one that’s gaining the weight around my belt and portfolio pit. There have been a few bands that have broken apart and some that have decided to play musician-designer to save money. And combined roles like that don’t always produce wickedly pretty offspring. 0​7) Has there been any changes in the ways that clients do business with designers (good or bad)? Not really any changes in clients. People still owe me money. Most people still don’t want to pay much or even pay at all for design…though, they are eager to push the products I slap myself onto and I give them free press in books/magazines. Oh well, that’s part of the deal and I knew that from the get go. It’s more than thant anyway. And I still love them…I am sure they still love me…I just don’t make enough from it to eat. But, I do have some wonderful clients that I hope to cradle and/or have them cradle me for a long time…we’ll see. 0​8) Is the design community tight-knit? Competitive? Friendly? What? I don’t really associate with other designers due to a lack of time and sometimes, simply want. I do have a few I check in on…but mostly I stick to my own guns. Therefore, I constantly hope my cats and girlfriend understand what the heck I’m talking about. It’s mostly mumbles I’m trying to say though…at least I’m entertained. In terms of the local design community…well, I guess the art/design here in Kansas City is looking pretty good. Even though i’m only in my fourth year, through the visual clutter I can see a few improvements. From what I understand, there is a tight-knit community that I’m not really associated with physically. From the outside, the knit appears to be extremely tight though. These days I like to sit at home and hunch my shoulders…and I like to think and be around people/places/things that aren’t necessarily directly connected to the design world, but they are in my personal one (whatever that means). In competitive terms I guess I fell victim to that last December. One of the best things I’ve ever done was stolen at an exhibition. Poor Mortimer was an only child and I’ve nothing to document him. Either I’m getting somewhat popular or I have a backlash. I’m also getting tired of most of the announcement boards to post posters being smaller than one of my posters (time to break out my little hands). ​0​9) What exciting things are going on in the design community? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Well, I’m kind of excited to see where this city is headed to as a whole. There are a lot of expensive things being built…new downtown developments/arena…and a ridiculous addition to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art that looks like a giant trash bin and/or trailer home. 10) What are you looking forward to in the next year? Any big changes? Anything that you hope will happen? Well, I am getting married this Fall and thus must condense my apartment. I must lovingly adapt to sharing my artifacts, junk, libraries, wall space and work space with a woman. I also plan to start sleeping on a real bed again…and to quit my night job. She is a good one though. 11.) Why is where you are a great place/lousy place to be a designer? Since I’m a one man show, I can take my design anywhere. Though, it helps to have an outlet to a music community…I guess…if I want to continue with that. I guess with this question, it’s mostly all behind the controller. You’ve really got to chop some trees down to be heard…or just put your head down, barrel through them and not really pay attention. And my real dream is to live in the woods outside of a small town near a big city and have the requests come to my porch via arrows…and to make things for myself. I’ve never been one to worry myself about if I’m in the right place or not. As long as my brain is not too sloshy and polluted, I will be fine. 12) What advantages does the midwest hold as a design source for clients? I was born and fed here. It is ok (at times a bit too honky and wonky). I’m happy with the way things have gone so far. I’ve got a meager following here that I suppose “gets it”…and the norm that says, “That’s different.” Though I haven’t really ventured off much in my design life, or simply, life in general. I hear it’s a mighty treat to get out. And I also hear good things about the midwest’s hospitality and friendliness from outsiders and/or people who get out. Perhaps I’ll pack it up one of these days and try some new turf to ooze between my toes. 13) What is the level of student/job applicant talent? Is young talent staying in the area or leaving? It’s really flattering, funny and somewhat depressing to me that I’ve received many offers from recent design graduates who desperately want to work for me. Some are really talented too…and I must paint my sad tale of no funds or time for me to even consider full-time employment with myself. Maybe I’ll just have them move in for therapy…or start my own school with fire poles to slide through the floors of my apartment building and heaping pile of posters to burn for warmth. -djg

[womenfarmersofvermont]

Howling Wolf Farm

I first visited Jenn Colby with Sterling College’s Livestock Systems Management intensive course in the fall of 2016. I felt really lucky to be able to join her at her home again a year later for a conversation about raising her registered Katahdin sheep, how she juggled child-rearing, two jobs, and grad school at the same time, and the authenticity of real work. It was amazing to see how much the land has changed in such a short period of time. It gives me great hope to see what can be done with pasture that has been long neglected. 

Jenn’s vibrant personality is reflected by her animals: good-natured, friendly, and charismatic. Our interview was held on the grazing grounds of her ram’s enclosure. 

Based in Northfield, Vermont, Howling Wolf Farm is a diversified meat operation raising primarily lamb and some breeding stock. Jenn and her husband, Chris, are now semi-retired from their Howling Hog Barbecue business while they focus on investing on their new property and work off farm jobs to supplement income, but it was a good, ten-year long run on the competition circuit. I can attest that their food is amazing, because our class was lucky enough to sample it during our visit (don’t despair -- Jenn said they might like to have BBQ events on the farm some day! I highly recommend you subscribe to their newsletter and keep an eye out for future developments).  Since they purchased their property in the summer of 2016, Jenn has been focused on improving the pasture since. Her goal is to make meat on their hill farm with as little inputs as possible, and Katahdins are a good choice for that goal, since they can gain weight on mediocre forage, and are good for brush management. 

What Katahdins lack in luxurious wool, they more than make up for with their inquisitive personalities and impressive land-clearing skills. 

Jenn was raised in somewhat of a farming family, growing hogs and rabbits in the Woodstock area, and she’s always loved working with animals. She went to UVM for animal science assuming she would be going to vet school, but eventually became disenchanted with that work. And her environmental science minor didn’t really mesh with her studies at that time (the year she graduated was also the year UVM opened their Center for Sustainable Agriculture). But her current work stems from a feeling of being disconnected to the food they were buying at the time. It’s a familiar feeling to a lot of people who become disillusioned with the ease of our industrialized food system. Chris and Jenn wanted to start growing their own food and started small with poultry, eventually adding pigs to their repertoire.  Though they have always been small scale, it’s been a serious business - keeping records about yields and costs were particularly helpful when Jenn began drafting their business plan. Again, the economical nature of small ruminants comes up - though she wants to custom graze cattle, or finish beef on grass in the future, she can’t make it pay to overwinter them at the moment. Pigs and sheep are a different story, an easier one. 

Even though they aren’t growing wool, the stunning colors of the pelt from hair sheep can add an extra income stream to a farmer’s balance sheet - something Jenn is just getting into now. She’d likely send them to Vermont Natural Sheepskins, a company just a few miles from her house.   

The farm is currently in growth mode, so the goal is to grow the flock out with 35 breeding ewes, with somewhere between 50 and 70 marketable lambs a year. Some will be kept for breeding stock, others will be sold as starter flocks for other people looking to get closer to their food. And some will go to auction to be harvested for meat. There’s a lot in my interview with Jenn that reminded me of talking to Katie - focusing on grazing plans, adjusting soil pH for more grazeable materials and improving the soil in general, and being a little more self-reliant. Jenn wants her farm to be an example of intentional living - and her Instagram page helps show that to the world. 

Jenn also uses Instagram to help plan grazing charts for the future. It gives her a physical record of where the sheep are every day to be drawn on her map. The photos help fill out the chart and catalyze the process of planning for next year. 

Jenn and Chris are big fans of pre-sales marketing, or getting people familiar with the farm and what they do before they necessarily buy anything. It’s worked favorably for her so far - their Kickstarter campaign they began in the spring helped build more awareness of them in the local community. Although they did not get the funding to purchase their yurt, it helped develop a newsletter and e-mail list for friends, family and customers. It also seemed like a lot of fun, as they created a video and subsequent blooper vids as well as a lamb naming program - which was a really popular way to get people familiar with what they were producing. 

Impressive.

In the world of farming, Jenn says that self-censoring is a common habit she notices in her conversation. Though she is extremely knowledgable and experienced, she may not feel comfortable voicing her opinion a lot of the time. There are studies that show that a woman needs to be really confident about a topic to speak to it, whereas a man will sort of wing it, even if he doesn’t really know what he’s on about. I’ve experienced this regularly, especially in the classroom. During discussion a male student might casually monopolize airtime and push the conversation off course, whereas a brilliant female student may feel the need, subconsciously or not, to justify speaking out about a topic. 

The rams of Howling Wolf declined to comment when I inquired about gender relations amongst the herd.

Jenn spoke about living for a while on one income when her husband couldn’t balance working and going to grad school at the same time. She smiled and described raising her son while juggling a full time job, farming, and her grad school experience. Even though her son is long out of school, she still volunteers at his old high school because she believes in the value of education and cares about how the school contributes to shaping the future. “Women decide to take on everything! There’s so much to do in the world!” She exclaimed. “I support women because they give back to their community over and over again. Women are going to save the world.” I would have to agree! Jenn notes that self-confidence is a huge barrier to beginning women farmers, but not to be discouraged. There are lenders out there if you need capital - Jenn said she didn’t find an overt bias against women farmers, but the system is just unfair if you want to farm on a small scale and work with smaller livestock (see Katie Sullivan’s Hierarchy of Seriousness). There are services and educational opportunities if that’s what you need. The Women’s Agriculture Network is a good place to start. Financial literacy in school is also a good place to start. “Can we just have one class on compound interest?!” she asked. Financial illiteracy is rampant in Vermont and in our country. It was a topic recently addressed in a VT Digger article. There absolutely needs to be more financial planning for women. We need to know how to pay off debt, build equity, and learn about the basis on which banks decide to lend money (hint: you need assets. A tractor might be a nice place to start, if you can make the numbers work in your favor. Jenn can’t just now, but it’s in the books for the future. In case you were wondering!) 

Jenn and I were watching her ewes graze contentedly as the foliage was starting to light up the hills behind us. It felt good to see her healthy and beautiful animals and to hear her talk about them with such care. She says she sometimes struggles to get to work in the morning because watching her sheep is so immensely satisfying. Humans are meant to work with our hands, to produce significance, to create tangible objects that can feed us in more than one way. “It’s amazing,” she said, “how meaningful work is coming back to us.”

[autisticadventurer]

My History

CW: emotional, sexual, and financial abuse, suicide, drugs and alcohol, conversion therapy, divorce, homelessness, seriously... you name it.

For the very young among my readers, and for those who simply weren’t aware of what was happening in the queer community in the 90′s, let me tell you a little more about my family. 

My dad is from a city. His family later moved to a more rural environment, but he also grew up with a cosmopolitan experience. His mom’s parents were filthy rich and disinherited her for eloping with my grandpa but my dad still got to do rich people things when he was a kid. He has funny memories of his grandma nearly killing them because she was too drunk to drive but he also remembers doing farm labor as a teenager. He was a math whiz and played varsity football his sophomore year but had to quit after a car accident when the doctors discovered that one of his kidneys is totally non functional and the other is under developed. When he joined the Air Force, he was training to be a helicopter flight mechanic but there is something wrong with his depth perception so he was recycled and ended up with the far less glamorous but still noble position of cooking. Cooking runs in our blood.

My mom is from a very small town, 1000 people or so. The only diversity she ever really knew was Lutheran or Catholic and because of her heritage on her biological dad’s side, she may have been the only Jewish person in town. She was raised Catholic, though, by her mom and step dad. Her stories of childhood have a much different tone than my dad’s do. She was constantly angry at her mom for being too stupid. She earned average grades in all subjects and helped in the family store from the time she started high school. She played basketball for a few years in school, but most of her time was spent getting drunk probably because she had no framework to understand her attraction to other women. When she joined the Air Force, she did so as a diet tech. 

My parents met in a kitchen on an Air Force base thousands of miles from their home states. My dad told me that it was love at first sight. My mom has never talked about it. Their marriage was unhappy. They produced two children and then divorced a few years later. My dad was depressed for years and my mom openly shamed his depression to us kids. I have heard so many versions of why he left the Air Force but he was the primary parent when I was a kid. After the divorce, he struggled to find suitable work. 

My mom convinced us kids not to visit my dad more than once and even forbade us from visiting him on other occasions. I remember being coerced into signing a contract that we would not visit him at all when I was eleven. I figured out that my mom was gay when I was seven. Luckily, I had not been exposed to other culture stories about homosexuality before this so for me it was just data. We had to keep it a secret from the Air Force. In the 90′s being queer could cost you your job, especially in the military. This secrecy was used to convince us to keep our mouths shut about all the abuse that was happening in the home. “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll be investigated and lose my job.” 

Ironically, my mom preached tolerance while perpetrating all kinds of conversion therapy on me that would have left me traumatized for life if I had not taken matters into my own hands as an adult. It was on a nearly daily basis that she openly declared my sibling the favorite and called me Number Two. I think that may have something to do with why I make so many poop jokes. I tried to earn her love and respect by doing well in school but my straight A’s did nothing but only further enrage her. When my IQ was tested at the age of 8, she denied the score because scores in that range almost always point to autism and she was working her ass off to deny that part of me. She even hid my fidget, my teddy bear, from me as a prank on more than one occasion. Imagine what it is like to have a mother who makes fun of you as a rule and will only show you love if you act right, and you never act right because you’re not right. 

You can imagine that I lived with my dad as often as I could. My dad is strange though. He would only want both of us to live with him. He was also very poor but I didn’t care because being able to breathe freely was a luxury that I didn’t have when living with mom. (I actually had to see a specialist at one point because my stress was preventing me from being able to breathe. The muscles in my neck were locking up but this only lead to being teased about putting less strain on my vocal chords. She didn’t love me at all.) Living with my dad wasn’t perfect. I was unable to continue the swim team into high school because my dad was fearful of me riding in a car to get to practice (unresolved trauma from his past) and his work schedule prevented him from taking me. But I was allowed to be in the IB Program and I begged my way into a few summer camps at the university. During my Junior year, my mom and dad got into a stupid fight and my dad lost it. I can’t say I blame him now because as an adult, I understand my mom’s power to provoke and pick at emotional wounds... but at the time, all I could think was, “what the fuck?” and I had that thought for years.

We ended up back with mom who wanted me to drop out of IB and get a job which also derailed my plans to attempt to get into MIT and they had been scouting me since I took my PSAT. Why did I do what my mom wanted me to do? I guess I trusted her, I still saw her only as my mommy and not as the manipulative, abusive person that she is. Staying in the IB Program would’ve led to my finding a suitable job but you have to remember, she hated the idea of having a genius child because that meant having an aspergers/autistic child and she retained her small town mentality for fear and shame of difference. In a weird way, not becoming an engineer has worked out for me and if she hadn’t treated me like so much dog shit for 25 years, we’d probably still have a relationship. My relationship with my dad was later repaired because he apologized for what had happened as a result of the fight. 

During my twenties, I was chronically homeless. Although I did well in school, because I was taught, but nobody ever taught me how to live in this world. I struggled to find work because I am strange, I cannot work full time because of the intensity of my sensory processing disorder, and the paychecks I earned were never enough to even cover rent, let alone food or a phone bill or student loan payments. I tried living with family, which meant my mom, and this only lead to my second suicide attempt at the age of 25. (My first was at age 12, also while living with my mom.) My sibling found me and I woke up in the psych ward a couple days later. It was after this that I lived in a home called a Board and Lodge. About a third of us were autistic but requiring less staff than a traditional group home. There were also people with physical injuries, drug addiction, prison re-entries, and one guy with schizophrenia. It was not a safe place to live because there was a great deal of abuse amongst the residents and staff due to what I think was a social power struggle. It was so bad that some of the staff wouldn’t even perform their jobs appropriately and I reported it when I moved out. 

I’m leaving a lot out: my years in college, my marriage and divorce, my time in a cult, being taken advantage of financially, the sexual assault, and other things. Being unable to recognize danger does not magically help an autistic person recognize danger. I have a lot to thank my therapist for because she has mentored me to help me recognize danger and to help me see the world as it is. She has helped me to build life skills and self care skills so that I can live independently and not be at the mercy of people who don’t understand autism and think they’re doing me a favor by trying to abuse me into being normal. I am hoping against hope that I can find a part time job in this state that will be understanding of my autism and accommodate me in the way the law requires them to. I have a lot to give but I cannot give what I do not have. 

Everyone you know has a hidden past that has been molded and shaped by the hidden past of their parents and grandparents. Try to put a hold on judgements and assumptions, if you can. It will help to foster tolerance and acceptance without having know things that are none of your business. It is an important lesson to learn that nobody owes you an explanation for who they are and nobody is obligated to share what they consider private.

[t-reytravels]

Life After Augie: Detailed explanation of what is next in my life…

VERY IMPORTANT!!! 

     First, and most importantly, I need everyone to follow these instructions before continuing to read (explanation following instructions):

1. Follow this link    https://www.facebook.com/CIEETeachAbroad/app/451684954848385?brandloc=DISABLE&app_data=dlt-1   to a photo contest I am in.  The most likes gets $500 and the 2nd most likes gets $250 so I’m really hoping I can achieve one of these two!  There are two pages of pictures so I might be on the second page.

2.     Click Vote

3.     Feel super great about helping me out in achieving my goals and know that I am extremely appreciative!

4.     Private message me if you have any problems or questions about voting for me.  This is not spam so no worries.  

     There is a lot to explain and I almost don’t even know where to start, so I will just go for it. It may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you, some of you may have fully expected me to do something like this, and some of you already know what I have planned ahead for my future.  First it was an extremely long and difficult process, so however easy it may seem my traveling and life seems to be playing out it definitely has not been so. It has taken me months of hard work and constant communication between not one but two federal governments and we all know how dysfunctional dealing with one can be let alone two.  

     Last summer while in Spain, I came to the conclusion that I was going to look into opportunities to live/study/work in Spain for a year because I did not have that opportunity as an undergrad student due to my duties of being an athletic training major. At first this idea seemed completely unattainable, unrealistic, and downright terrifying. How was I going to make this work? Americans don’t just leave The States after college and do whatever they want! I am supposed to go right from college to a job, or more school, money, time, work, stress, blah. My mind stressed itself out because of the perceived expectations our society has for us as we move through this gray period in our lives (one of the reasons I came to Spain last summer for space). Spending two months in Spain/Europe where they are much less programmed to follow this linear path through life allowed me to step back and realize what I truly wanted for the next few years of my life. As I began my senior year at Augustana, the plan was simply to study something sports related for a year in Spain and then move back to The States and begin physical therapy school.  Life is messy and this simple plan I created back in August is much more complex than that sentence, but it still for the most part is true. I feel it’s necessary to fill in the space and provide the detail to those who care and wish to follow my rollercoaster journey through life. I also feel it’s necessary to explain my decisions because some of you probably ask yourself every time you see a post of mine if I’ve completely lost my mind or grip on reality. To be honest I believe I have lost my mind and grip on reality seeing that reality tries to force us to do what is only within our comfort zones or easy.

     November 2016: Mario visited South Dakota (and loved it) and we both spent a couple days searching for post-graduate level programs for sports medicine or something related for me to study and long story short, my level of Spanish is not sufficient enough to be eligible for any of those programs. We decided nothing was stopping us from living in a different country other than Spain, so we looked for other programs throughout Europe that were taught in English. After hours of hard work and intense searching we came across a German Institute that offered a master’s level program related to my field, and one for Mario in biomedical engineering as well. Both were two-year programs that followed an identical timeline, absolutely perfect.

     December 2016: I spent most of this month completing the application for this program and it was very intense. I had to complete everything in a German format (completely different that an American resume style application) and made at least five drafts of everything before I sent in the application January 2. During December, Mario asked his work in Madrid if they were able to offer him a job since he had been non-paid interning there for two years. They were not able to offer anything so he was planning on applying for Germany as well. Everything was falling into place as planned.

     January 2017: Then, literally the week after I sent in my application to Germany, Mario’s work offered him a job in Madrid and it was a deal he could not pass up.  I was left with a decision: Follow this path to Germany for an amazing research program in public health, or follow a different path to Spain through something I had not yet discovered. Anyone that knows me well though knows I plan for every scenario. Back in November I prepared for other options in Spain and just made simple list of these opportunities just in case I would need to look further into them, but I believed I wouldn’t need to since we were both going to Germany. So to these back up options I turned to and began searching for more information. It took a full three weeks of intense reflection and advice from peers, professors, and family for me to finally decide between Spain and Germany. The ultimate decision became Spain for a laundry list of reasons that I would be willing to explain to anyone who thinks I made a big mistake by giving up Germany. I believed I either option was the right one and that both would bring me success, the Spain opportunities were just a less clear and would require more work and determination. I seem to have a tendency for choosing the more difficult paths in life.

     February 2017: I became 1 of 25 accepted into the German master’s program and had to turn it down. It was very hard, but I knew it was the right decision. However, it did feel good knowing that I was qualified to be in the program. Through many wrong turns and dead ends, I finally found what I will be doing during the next two years of my life in Spain. Through CIEE, an American non-profit organization based out of Maine, I will be a Teacher’s-Assistant in English at either a primary or secondary school inside Madrid from the months of October 2017-June 2018 and October 2018-June 2019. I will also spend these two years becoming as fluent as possible in Spanish, so that when I come back to The States, I can speak the two most used languages in our country and communicate with English and Spanish speakers in the healthcare system. After I develop a certain level of Spanish, I will also look for internship or volunteer opportunities in the Spanish healthcare system.

     March 2017: I am visiting Mario until March 29 now and we will begin searching for neighborhoods and apartments that we may want to live in come October 2017. We won’t know officially where we will want to live though until May when I find out what school I am placed in. Where that school is and where Mario works will determine the best locations for us to find an apartment. 

     This finally brings us to the present and back to me asking you to like my picture for the CIEE Teach in Spain photo contest. $500 or $250 will help more than one might think. Moving across the world for two years is not an easy process and I will take whatever help I can get! If you look at the picture you can see that I chose the word “EMPOWER” for the topic of “I want to teach in Spain to _______.” I chose empower because its definition speaks of giving power to others. When I begin helping with English and working with kids/teenagers/young adults in Spain, I hope that if there is one thing they learn from me it will be that they have the power to choose their own life’s path to follow their goals and aspirations. I want to empower them and help them build their confidence so they make all of life’s future decisions as fearlessly as I have.

[berkeleyjobsite]

Blueprint Math Fellow 2020-2021

Now Accepting Applications in Oakland, San Francisco and East St. Louis for the 2020-2021 School Year! Positions will begin in late summer.

Blueprint is a national nonprofit organization that partners with states, districts and schools to promote educational equity and improve life outcomes for students. Blueprint is currently working with public school districts in Oakland (CA), San Francisco (CA), East St. Louis (IL) and Leadville (CO) to plan, implement and monitor rigorous school improvement initiatives.

A key component of our work is an intensive, daily, in-school math tutoring program Blueprint operates called the Blueprint Fellows Program.  

  No certification required!

  Position Summary

Blueprint Math Fellows are full-time tutors charged with providing students with highly personalized tutoring in mathematics during the regular school day. Fellows work with no more than four students at a time, delivering individualized lessons and working closely with teachers to accelerate students’ academic achievement. Fellows also work to build strong relationships with students to help increase their self-confidence and commitment to education. The Blueprint Fellows program is an opportunity to participate in a year of service making a difference in the lives of students. Fellows receive a fellowship stipend as well as benefits.

  While teachers have classrooms of 25 or 30 students, Fellows manage no more than 4 students at a time.  This allows for the individualization of remedial and supplemental instruction in a safe space, where students are encouraged to engage with one another and explain their thinking.  Fellows individualize lessons to meet the needs, interests, and passions of their students and deliver data-driven instruction that not only significantly impacts student achievement, but inspires students to be lifelong learners.  By using math as the vehicle, Fellows foster critical thinkers, confident communicators, and engaged citizens who question, reflect, self-assess, visualize, respond positively to feedback, persevere, and internalize goal setting as a tool for continuous self-improvement.  Fellows receive curriculum materials, pre-service training, on-going mentoring and professional development as well as written evaluation of feedback from their assigned Site Manager. Fellows are charged with focusing on the individual needs of their students, helping to accelerate student achievement and close any skill gaps that may exist.

Fellow responsibilities include: Instruction, Planning, Communication & Feedback, and Compliance.  Examples of duties within these categories include:

  Instruction: 

Carry out all the responsibilities of an academic tutor and ensure that students are consistently learning and challenged.

Assist students in setting and reaching academic goals.

Observe, monitor, and assess students’ performance on a regular basis and record data to track student progress towards academic goals. Modify instruction and lesson plans based on student assessment results.

Tutor students using a variety of research-based instructional strategies designed to support students’ individual needs.

Planning:

Implement daily and weekly lesson plans using a predetermined curriculum.

Support the preparation of instructional activities to support students in mastering specific academic skills, subject matter content, and end-of-unit assessments.

Collaborate with classroom teachers and Math Fellows Site Manager to ensure tutorial lessons are aligned with classroom instruction.

Communication & Feedback:

Reach out to students’ families on a regular basis to update them on their student’s academic progress in tutorial.

Actively participate in professional development activities.

Meet with Site Manager regularly to receive coaching and both informal and formal evaluation and feedback.

Compliance:

Maintain confidentiality of student information as required by law and district policies.

Enforce school/district behavior rules and policies.

Perform other job-related duties as assigned.

Being a Fellow is an intense but rewarding experience.  The following characteristics are what we look for from our Fellows.

  A team-player attitude with a strong sense of personal accountability and strong communication skills.

Entrepreneurial spirit and ability to be flexible and deal with a certain amount of unpredictability.

The ability and willingness to go above and beyond to help support student achievement.

Associates degree or higher required.

Proficient with technology (Google Gmail/Docs/Sheets, and MS Office: PowerPoint/Word/Excel).

Experience working with adolescents or related field preferred.

Experience tutoring or mentoring youth is preferred.

  Fellowship Living Allowance and Benefits The Fellowship living allowance per school year is $20,000 for our East St. Louis program and $25,000 for our Oakland and San Francisco programs. The living allowance may be pro-rated based on start date and/or schedule. In addition, medical, dental, and vision benefits are provided at no-cost on the employee level of coverage.

  AmeriCorps:

The Blueprint Math Fellows Program is part of a national network of AmeriCorps Programs engaging adults in service to meet critical needs in communities across the country. Through our AmeriCorps partnership, eligible candidates may have the opportunity to enroll in the Math Fellows Program as an AmeriCorps Member and qualify for additional benefits. AmeriCorps status may vary based on start date.

  In order to be eligible for the AmeriCorps fellowship members must meet the following qualifications:

Be a U.S citizen or Permanent resident

Have previously completed no more than three terms of service through AmeriCorps state and national programs

Pass all relevant Background checks

As AmeriCorps Member, you will be eligible to receive:

$6,195 Segal AmeriCorps Education Award for full-time AmeriCorps positions for each year of service successfully completed

Forbearance of qualified student loans during your year of service

Interest accrual payment for qualified student loans

Childcare benefits for full-time AmeriCorps positions

SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) benefits

A national support network of members and alumni

Please note: The AmeriCorps eligibility requirements relate only to participating as an AmeriCorps member and do not exclude candidates from being considered for non-AmeriCorps Fellow positions.

  Discounted Master’s Program: 

Blueprint has established a partnership with Boston University Wheelock College of Education and Human Development that will allow Blueprint Fellows the opportunity to obtain a Masters of Education (Ed.M.) in Curriculum & Teaching at two thirds of the cost. This 36-credit, online or in-person program is specifically designed for those working full time. Below are some great benefits the program has to offer:

Part-time schedule over 2 years, allowing individuals to complete a minimum of one course per semester during nights and weekends

Waived application fee 

Application process that does not require GRE scores

Courses that focus not only on the content specific to the degree track, but also on the pedagogy of how to effectively teach that particular subject

Deeply discounted Master’s degree from one of the top 50 Graduate Schools of Education in the U.S.

To Apply

  Applications are accepted on a rolling basis. The timeline for the application process varies by district. The Blueprint Human Capital Team will provide an update regarding the status of your application within two weeks of submission. The timeline for regional interviews also varies by district. We encourage all interested candidates to APPLY NOW!  Applying early increases the chances of accommodating your regional and school level preferences.

Blueprint Schools Network and all applicable school districts are Equal Opportunity Employers and do not discriminate on the basis of sex, race, color, religion, sexual orientation, national origin, cultural heritage, ancestry, political belief, age, marital status, pregnancy, physical or mental disability or veteran status.

from Berkeley Job Site https://ift.tt/39tOm89 via IFTTT

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15 Personal Statement Examples 2020 (UPDATED)

https://www.chinesescholarshipcouncil.com/?p=3750&wpwautoposter=1587626766 The Personal Statement Examples are very precious to find on the internet, here are 15  Personal Statement Examples you can download and make it fit according to your requirement. Personal Statement Examples #1 My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in physics, chemistry, and math. When I was a senior, I took a first-year calculus course at a local college (such an advanced-level class was not available in high school) and earned an A. It seemed only logical that I pursue a career in electrical engineering. When I began my undergraduate career, I had the opportunity to be exposed to the full range of engineering courses, all of which tended to reinforce and solidify my intense interest in engineering. I’ve also had the opportunity to study a number of subjects in the humanities and they have been both enjoyable and enlightening, providing me with a new and different perspective on the world in which we live. In the realm of engineering, I have developed a special interest in the field of laser technology and have even been taking a graduate course in quantum electronics. Among the 25 or so students in the course, I am the sole undergraduate. Another particular interest of mine is electromagnetics, and last summer, when I was a technical assistant at a world-famous local lab, I learned about its many practical applications, especially in relation to microstrip and antenna design. Management at this lab was sufficiently impressed with my work to ask that I return when I graduate. Of course, my plans following completion of my current studies are to move directly into graduate work toward my master’s in science. After I earn my master’s degree, I intend to start work on my Ph.D. in electrical engineering. Later I would like to work in the area of research and development for the private industry. It is in R & D that I believe I can make the greatest contribution, utilizing my theoretical background and creativity as a scientist. I am highly aware of the superb reputation of your school, and my conversations with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending. I know that, in addition to your excellent faculty, your computer facilities are among the best in the state. I hope you will give me the privilege of continuing my studies at your fine institution. Personal Statement Examples #2 Having majored in literary studies (world literature) as an undergraduate, I would now like to concentrate on English and American literature. I am especially interested in nineteenth-century literature, women’s literature, Anglo-Saxon poetry, and folklore and folk literature. My personal literary projects have involved some combination of these subjects. For the oral section of my comprehensive exams, I specialized in nineteenth-century novels by and about women. The relationship between “high” and folk literature became the subject for my honors essay, which examined Toni Morrison’s use of classical, biblical, African, and Afro-American folk tradition in her novel. I plan to work further on this essay, treating Morrison’s other novels and perhaps preparing a paper suitable for publication. In my studies toward a doctoral degree, I hope to examine more closely the relationship between high and folk literature. My junior year and private studies of Anglo-Saxon language and literature have caused me to consider the question of where the divisions between folklore, folk literature, and high literature lie. Should I attend your school, I would like to resume my studies of Anglo-Saxon poetry, with special attention to its folk elements. Writing poetry also figures prominently in my academic and professional goals. I have just begun submitting to the smaller journals with some success and am gradually building a working manuscript for a collection. The dominant theme of this collection relies on poems that draw from classical, biblical, and folk traditions, as well as everyday experience, in order to celebrate the process of giving and taking life, whether literal or figurative. My poetry draws from and influences my academic studies. Much of what I read and the study finds a place in my creative work as the subject. At the same time, I study the art of literature by taking part in the creative process, experimenting with the tools used by other authors in the past. In terms of a career, I see myself teaching literature, writing criticism, and going into editing or publishing poetry. Doctoral studies would be valuable to me in several ways. First, your teaching assistant ship program would provide me with the practical teaching experience I am eager to acquire. Further, earning a Ph.D. in English and American literature would advance my other two career goals by adding to my skills, both critical and creative, in working with language. Ultimately, however, I see the Ph.D. as an end in itself, as well as a professional stepping stone; I enjoy studying literature for its own sake and would like to continue my studies on the level demanded by the Ph.D. program. Personal Statement Examples #3 As the sun was going down, the rain began to fall. Alongside the road there were sirens and flashing lights next to a black vehicle; it was completely destroyed. I was unconscious, stuck inside the vehicle. EMS extricated me and transported me to the hospital. It was not until the next day I finally woke up and tried to lift myself out of bed; the pain I felt caused me to scream, “Mom!” My mother rushed into the room, “Ashley, stop moving around, you are only going to make it more painful” she said. The expression on my face showed nothing more than a complete blank. “What happened, and why is there a sling on me?” The ambulance took me to the hospital in our home town, and after hours passed by they told my mother that my scans and tests came back fine, put a sling on me, and sent me home … while still not fully conscious. The day after, I had follow up visits in the next city over with completely different physicians. It turned out the extent of my injuries were worse than we were told, and had to have surgery immediately. Suffering from complications following the accident was an obstacle, but the care received at the time and over the next few years during recovery made me understand the importance of skilled physicians and physician assistants (PAs). In the past year, I have grown and learned even more than I thought I could in my current position as a medical assistant in the Neuro-otology specialty. Working as a medical assistant for the past two years has been a rewarding learning experience. One of the main priorities of my position is to take a very detailed description of the patient’s condition/chief complaint of their visit. Doing this has allowed me to gain an extensive amount of knowledge on the inner ear and vestibular system, and on how they both work in conjunction with one another. Through my work I am able to help patients and the feeling in return is an incredible sentiment. A little after I began working at the clinic, I was awarded a larger role through learning how to complete the Canalith Repositioning Maneuver on patients suffering from Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. After successful applications of the procedures, it is clear from their emotions that I make positive impacts on the patient’s daily life. The joyful smile on their faces immediately brightens my whole day. Volunteer efforts, shadowing, and post university medical experience solidified that there was no other profession I desired more. Witnessing the team of a doctor and PA work together at Moffitt Cancer Center furthered my excitement of the position. I was captivated by their partnership and the PAs ability to simultaneously work independently. The PA spoke highly of the opportunity to study and practice multiple specialties. Through all of my learning and experience it occurred to me that my love for medicine is so broad, that it would be impossible for me to just focus on one aspect of medicine. Knowing that I have the option to experience nearly any specialty entices me, and having the opportunity to treat and diagnose patients instead of standing in the background observing would give me great pleasure. While continuously battling the setbacks of my accident, the socioeconomic status forced upon me the task of a full time job while trying to obtain an education. The outcome of these hardships led to substandard grades in my freshman and sophomore years. Once accepted at University of South Florida I succeeded in completing all PA requirements with a vast improvement in my academics creating an upward trend in GPA through graduation. As a result of my success, I realized I had moved forward from what I thought would hold me back forever; my accident is now just a motivator for future obstacles. With a career as a PA, I know my answer to “how was your day” will always be, “life changing.” In my work I am fortunate enough to change lives in similar ways as the PA I strive to be, which is what drives me. I am determined and will not ever abandon this dream, goal, and life purpose. Outside of my qualifications on paper, I have been told that I am a compassionate, friendly, and a strong woman. Years from today, through my growth and experience as a PA, I will evolve to be a role model for someone with the same qualities and professional objectives as I have today. I chose PA because I love working as a team. Helping others makes me feel like I have a purpose, and there is no other profession that I would rather be in. Admittance to a respectable program is not the beginning or the end … it is the next step of my journey to become a reflection of who I admire. Personal Statement Examples #4 A three year old boy has severe sinusitis that has caused the eyelids of his right eye to swell and his fever to spike. His mother is beginning to worry because every specialist she has visited has not been able to alleviate her child’s symptoms. It has been three days and she is at another hospital waiting to see yet another specialist. While the mother is sitting in the waiting room a passing doctor takes notice of her son and exclaims to her, “I can help this boy.” After a brief examination, the doctor informs the mother that her son has an infected sinus. The boy’s sinus is drained and he is given antibiotics to treat the infection. The mother breathes a sigh of relief; her son’s symptoms are finally mitigated. I was the sick child in that story. That is one of my earliest memories; it was from the time when I lived in Ukraine. I still wonder how such a simple diagnosis was overlooked by several physicians; perhaps it was an example of the inadequate training healthcare professionals received in post-Cold War Ukraine. The reason I still remember that encounter is the pain and discomfort of having my sinus drained. I was conscious during the procedure and my mother had to restrain me while the doctor drained my sinus. I remember that having my sinus drained was so excruciating that I told the doctor, “When I grow up I will become a doctor so I can do this to you!” When I reminisce about that experience I still tell myself that I would like to work in health care, but my intentions are no longer vengeful. After researching various health care professions I realized that physician assistant is the one for me. I have several reasons for pursuing a career as a PA. Firstly the PA profession has a bright future; according to the Bureau of Labor statistics employment for physician assistants is projected to grow 38 percent from 2020 to 2022. Secondly the flexibility of the PA of the profession is appealing to me; I would like to build an eclectic repertoire of experiences and skills when it comes to delivering medical care. Thirdly I would be able to work autonomously and collaboratively with a health care team to diagnose and treat individuals. The fourth and most important reason is that I would be able to directly influence people in a positive way. Working for homecare services I have had several people tell me that they prefer PAs over physicians, because physician assistants are able to take their time to effectively communicate with their patients. I know that to become a physician assistant academic excellence is imperative so I would like to take the time to explain the discrepancies in my transcript. During my freshman and sophomore year my grades were not great and there is no excuse for that. In my first two years of college I was more concerned with socializing than I was with academia. I chose to spend most of my time going to parties and because of it my grades suffered. Although I had a lot of fun I came to the realization the fun would not last forever. I knew that to fulfill my dream of working in health care I would have to change my ways. Starting with my junior year I made school my priority and my grades improved markedly. My grades in the second two years of my college career are a reflection of me as an engaged student. I will continue striving to achieve my terminal goal of becoming a physician assistant, because I look forward to the first time a worried mother comes to the hospital with her sick child and I will be able to say, “I can help this boy!” Personal Statement Examples #5 Completely re-edited my PS. This draft feels alot stronger. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. “The two most important days in your life are the day you’re born and the day you find out why”. This quote from Mark Twain comes to mind when describing why I aspire to become a Physician Assistant. The journey to finding one’s professional “why” can be tough, it can sometimes force one to settle and give up on the journey altogether but in other cases, cases of so many who have genuine love in what they do, it requires constant self-reflection, faith and unyielding determination to continue on. Early on in my academic career I lacked the maturity to grasp this concept, I wasn’t committed to the process of learning and was without intrinsic motivation to dedicate myself to it. I knew I wanted a career in medicine but when asked difficult questions of why, I could only give the generic answer, “Because I want to help people”. That reason wasn’t enough, I needed something more, something that could drive me to work night shifts and head to school immediately after, something that could push me to retake courses and pursue a Masters degree. To find this “why” I became child-like, asking many questions, majority of them beginning with why. Why was it important for me to help people through medicine? Why not a trainer, a physician or a nurse? Why not anything else? Through this journey I began four years ago, I’ve learned that an individuals “why” is a place where one’s passions and skills meet their community’s needs and as I’ve been exposed to many facets of health, I’ve discovered my passion for fitness and health is the foundation of my “why”. The day I found this “why” came subtly, from a simple yet profound article clipping that remains posted on my wall today. A “wonder pill “ Dr. Robert Butler described, that could prevent and treat many diseases but more importantly prolong the length and quality of life. The drug was exercise and as he surmised, “If it could be packed into a pill it would the most widely prescribed and beneficial medicine in the nation”. From these words my “why” began taking shape, I began wondering what could happen to our health care system if prevention was emphasized and people were given the directions and interventions needed to not only solve their health issues but to live healthier lives. I wondered what I could do to be part of the solution, how I could play a role in delivering a care that considered multiple influences and multiple methods for treating and preventing diseases, while also advocating optimal health and well-being. With the recent reforms to healthcare I believed that a system emphasizing prevention could become an actuality and with many people given access to it a better kind provider would be needed. Providers, in my opinion, that understands the roles of nutrition, fitness and behavior modifications on health. Providers that understand that curative or palliative methods that wait until patients are sick, in many cases beyond repair before stepping in, can no longer be a standard practice. From interning with trainers and wellness coaches in health centers, to working with nurses and techs in the hospital, to shadowing PAs and Physicians during rounds or in underserved clinics, I‘ve not only gained valuable experiences but I have been able to see exactly what makes each profession great. Each profession has aspects that interest me but as I have researched and dissected each of these careers, plucking pieces where I find my greatest skills meeting what I am passionate about, I found myself at the doorstep of a career as a Physician Assistant. Working at Florida Hospital, I relish in the team-based effort that I’ve learned is quite necessary in providing quality care. I thoroughly enjoy my interactions with patients and working in communities where English may not be the primary language but forces you to go out and learn to become a better caregiver. I’ve learned exactly where my “why” is. It is in a profession centered on this team-based effort, it focuses on the patient and the trust between the physician and the health care team, not on the insurance, management or the business side of medicine. It is a profession whose purpose comes from improving and expanding our health care system, a field with the ability to not only diagnose and treat diseases but also with the expectation to promote health through education. It is a profession where I can be a lifetime-learner, where stagnation isn’t even a possibility, with many specialties in which I can learn. Most importantly it is a career whose role in this evolving health care system is etched to be on the front line in its delivery, the key to integrating both wellness and medicine to combat and prevent diseases. The journey to this conclusion hasn’t been easy but I am grateful because my“ why” is now simple and unmistakable. I have been placed on this earth to serve, educate and advocate wellness through medicine as a Physician Assistant. In summation, my “why” has become my favorite question. Personal Statement Examples #6 The easiest decision I ever made was choosing to play soccer when I was seven years old. Fifteen years later, after finishing four years of Division I collegiate soccer, I made the most difficult decision thus far in my life. Knowing that I was not going to play for the U.S. Women’s National Team, I had to pursue a different dream. The summer after my college graduation, I transitioned from playing soccer to coaching, while figuring out a career path to pursue. At one of the first practices I coached, I witnessed a girl get caught up in a net and hit her head on a pole. My instincts told me to run over and help. I advised a parent to call 9-1-1 while I checked to see if the girl was alert. She was in and out of consciousness for about two minutes before she was able to look at me and tell me her name. I talked to her to keep her awake until the paramedics arrived to take over. Even while the paramedics assessed her, she did not want me to leave. I held her hand until it was time for her to be transported. In that moment, it was clear to me that helping others was my calling. At the same time I started coaching, I began volunteering at Los Angeles Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. I shadowed emergency room (ER) doctors, orthopedic doctors, and general practitioners. Naturally, my athletic career drew me in towards Orthopedics. I spent most of my time watching how doctors, physician assistants (PAs), nurses, and technicians interacted with patients. Similar to soccer, teamwork is a key component of patient care. I was amazed at how smooth the process was to prepare for a trauma patient in the ER. It was not as chaotic as I had expected. The communications center alerted the trauma team that a 79 year-old female patient with head trauma was on its way. From there, the trauma team prepared a room for the patient. When the patient arrived, it was like watching a well-rehearsed play. Every team member knew his/her role and performed it flawlessly despite the high-pressure situation. In that moment, I felt the same adrenaline rush I got during my soccer games and knew that I had to pursue a career in the medical field. Although I was introduced to the idea of becoming a PA, my eyes were set on becoming a doctor. So, I applied for medical school. After being rejected from medical school, I debated applying again. After shadowing PAs at Harbor-UCLA, I did research on becoming a PA. What stood out the most to me was the flexibility of a PA to work in different medical specialties. Also, in the orthopedic department, I noticed that the PAs had more time to spend with patients discussing rehabilitation options and infection prevention after their surgeries. This type of patient care was more along the lines of what I wanted to do. So, my next step was to become an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) to fulfill the work experience requirement for my PA application. Working as an EMT turned out to be more meaningful than just being a pre-requisite for PA school. Whether the complaints were medical or traumatic, these patients were meeting me on the worst day of their lives. One call we had was a Spanish-speaking only patient who complained of left knee pain. Since I was the only Spanish speaker on scene, I translated for the paramedics. The medics concluded that the patient could be transported to the hospital code 2, no paramedic follow-up and no lights and sirens necessary, since it appeared to be localized knee pain. En route to the hospital, I noticed a foul smell coming from the patient. Suddenly, the patient became unresponsive so we upgraded our transport and used our lights and sirens to get there faster. Upon our arrival the patient started coming around. The triage nurse approached us and noticed the foul smell as well. The nurse had us put the patient into a bed right away and said that the patient might be septic. I thought, but where? Later that day, we checked up on the patient and found out that she was in the late stages of breast cancer. On scene, she failed to mention the open wounds she thoroughly wrapped up on her breasts because that was not her chief complaint. She also did not mention it as part of her pertinent medical history. Her knee was hurting due to osteoporosis from the cancer cells metastasizing to her bones. This call always stuck with me because it made me realize that I want to be able to diagnose and treat patients. As a PA, I would be able to do both. All of my life experiences have led me to realize that I want to be a part of a medical team as a physician assistant. To be able to study multiple medical specialties, diagnose, and treat would allow me to come full circle in patient care. As much as I love pre-hospital care, I have always wanted to do more. Given the opportunity, as a PA, I will take on the challenges of patient care in a hospital setting and look forward to being able to follow through with all of my patients to the end of their care. Personal Statement Examples #7 A young, cheerful volleyball player came to my training room complaining of back pain during her off-season. Two weeks later, she died from Leukemia. Two years later her brother, a former state champion football player, was diagnosed with a different type of Leukemia. He fought hard for a year, but he too succumbed to the same disease that took the life of his baby sister. A girl in her sophomore year of high school sought my advice because she was concerned about a small bump on her back. After a few weeks of observing she returned complaining of back pain along with an increase in the size of the original bump. Recognizing this was beyond my expertise, I referred her to her pediatrician, who then recommended she see another medical specialist. Following extensive testing she was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. After recently dealing with the loss of two young athletes, this news was shocking. Fortunately, over the next year and a half, this young lady battled and beat the cancer in time to complete her senior year and walk across the stage at graduation with her classmates. I was elated for her, but began reflecting on the limitations of my position as an athletic trainer. These events also prompted me to evaluate my life, my career, and my goals. I felt compelled to investigate my options. After doing so, I was determined to expand my knowledge and increase my ability to serve others and decided the correct path for me was to become a Physician Assistant. During my career thus far as an athletic trainer, I have had the privilege of working at a wide variety of locations. These include an acute care in-patient hospital, working with post surgical patients; a family practice and sports medicine office, performing initial evaluations; an outpatient therapy clinic, working with rehab patients; an orthopedic surgeon’s office, shadowing patient visits and surgeries; and many universities and high schools, working with a variety of athletic injuries. My experiences in these diverse settings have shown me the need for all degrees of medical personnel. Each field has its own purpose in the proper care of the patient. As an athletic trainer I have seen a range of injuries that I could diagnose and treat myself. But it has always been the ones that I had to refer to the team doctor that weighed on me, making me feel that I should be able to help even more. As a physician assistant, I would possess the knowledge and skills needed to diagnose and provide the care needed for my patients. My position as the high school athletic trainer allows me to get acquainted with all of the athletes, however, to be even more effective I get involved in the community of the school and strive to learn more about the people with whom I work. For the last three years I have been a substitute teacher for the junior and senior high school. I have also volunteered for many functions that the school provides for the students including school dances, the community-based alcohol prevention program called Every 15 Minutes, and the annual junior and senior retreat which involves a true bonding experience for all participants. Developing meaningful relationships with the students enhances my effectiveness by opening lines of communication and building trust. It is my firm belief that a patient will only speak openly about a self-perceived flaw including injury with someone he or she feels comfortable. I sincerely want to be that person for my athletes now, and for my patients in the future. The diverse injuries, illnesses, and diseases I have encountered as athletic trainer have provided me with a variety of wonderful experiences. I have witnessed both tragedy and triumph with my athletes and coaches, on and off of the field or court. Most injuries have been inconsequential in the long term, even to those experiencing the pain in the moment. They know that they will heal and progress in their sport and continue on their journey in life. Fighting for and winning state championships is all well and good, but there are far more important concerns in this life we live. I have witnessed young lives being taken, and those who battled relentlessly to overcome all obstacles, and it is these individuals who have changed how I view medicine, how I view myself, and how I view my future in the world of medicine. These people have enriched my life and have taken ahold of my heart and mind, motivating me to push forward. “Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep battling.” The powerful motto of our basketball coach living with advanced Cystic Fibrosis has been a significant incentive for me. He was told he would live a much shorter and less satisfying life, but he never gave in to his diagnosis. He made his life what he wanted it to be, overcoming many obstacles and living out his dreams. Seeing him fight for each day of his life has had tremendous influence on me. I know it is my time to fight for what I want and keep moving forward. Personal Statement Examples #8 I would really appreciate if someone could tell me if I’m hitting any of the right points in my essay! The door flew open and slammed against the adjacent wall. The room was dark and all I could make out were figures and the noise of chatter and children crying. As my eyes adjusted to the sharp contrast in darkness from the blaring sun outside, I made my way to the counter. “Sign in,” said a voice and I looked down to see a chewed up pin and a pile of ripped up pieces of paper, on which I wrote my name and date of birth. The voice came out again “have a seat; we’ll call you when we’re ready.” I turned to see a room, no bigger than a two bedroom apartment, full of young women and children of various ages. I took a seat and waited for my turn to be seen at my local health department. As an adolescent without health insurance, I have seen first-hand the demand for providers that can offer available healthcare. My experiences at the local health department made me dread going, never knowing if I would see the same provider again. Like many others in my situation, I just stopped going. After these experiences, I knew I wanted to be the stability for the underprivileged and financially burdened. I began my role in healthcare as a pharmacy technician. It was this job that solidified my interests in the science of medicine. It was also this exposure which showed me that primary care providers play a huge role in the health system. However, it was not until I began working in registration for the Emergency Department of my local hospital that I could see just how important this role is; patients sitting for hours to be seen for a fever and headache because they do not have any other option for healthcare. These observations pushed me to continue in medicine. After moving home to pursue this career, I climbed my way from a unit secretary to a patient care technician where I had my first hands-on experiences with patients. I remember a particular incident where while I was assisting a patient to the bathroom, she began sweating and complaining of blurred vision. I immediately called for someone to come in so I could check her blood sugar levels; it was 37 mg/Dl. With the nurse by my side, we got Ms. Kay safely to the bed and began treating her with intravenous glucose. I was so excited and proud of myself for recognizing the symptoms and being able to react without hesitation. It is moments like this one that I recognize my desires are not only to treat patients, but also diagnose illnesses. After working closely with many health providers for nearly ten years, none stood out to me like Mike, a physician assistant on the cardiothoracic surgery unit. I have seen him take the extra time to go over every medication a patient had not only to ensure there was no drug interactions but to explain and write down the uses of each for when they returned home. When this patient needs a refill, instead of asking for “the little blue pill,” they will confidently ask for their blood pressure medication. Understanding these problems and taking the time to address them through patient education and support can greatly improve the quality of life for those in our communities. PAs help to carry out this idea of preventive medicine over episodic care as a team. A team-based care system is very important to me. I learned the value of a solid support network while struggling after the death of my cousin. The pain of losing my best friend, and the personal disappointment I felt after failing two semesters, made it difficult for me to continue on my career path confidently. However, with the backing and trust of my peers, much like a PA in their practice, I was able to push forward and overcome these trials. I was taught stress-management and determination through these hardships and they will aid me as I endeavor this challenging and evolving career as a PA. With my professional training in the medical field, I have a good understanding and appreciate everyone’s roles in healthcare. We come from several backgrounds and experiences that allow us to integrate together and ultimately provide better patient care. I am confident in my ability to translate my skills into my studies as well as future practice and become a successful PA. I am also confident in my ability to relate and help close the gap in available healthcare as a primary care provider. Personal Statement Examples #9 “My chest hurts.” Anyone in the medical field knows this is a statement that cannot simply be brushed off. Mary was a patient we brought to and from dialysis three times a week. At the young age of 88, her mind was starting to go and her history of CVA rendered her hemiplegic, reliant on us for transport. Mary would stare through us and continue conversations with her late husband, insist she was being rained on while in the ambulance, and manipulate us into doing things we would never consider for another patient, i.e. adjust pillows an absurd amount of times, and hold her limp arm in the air for the entirety of the 40 minute transport, leaving you down a full PCR. But, it was Mary, and Mary held a special place in our hearts just out of sheer desire to please her in the slightest- never successfully, might I add. Mary complained about everything, but nothing at the same time. So, that Thursday afternoon when she nonchalantly stated she had chest pain, it raised some red flags. With a trainee on board, the three man crew opted to run the patient to the ER three miles up the road, emergent, rather than waiting for ALS. I ran the call, naturally, it was Mary, and she was my patient. Vitals stable, patient denies breathing difficulty and any other symptoms. During the two minute transport I called in the report over the wail of the sirens, “history of CVA and… CVA. Mary look at me. Increased facial drooping; stoke alert, pulling in now.” Mary always had facial drooping, slurring, and left sided weakness, but it was worse. I’ve taken her every week for six months, but this time I was sitting on her right side. We took her straight to CT, and I have not since seen her. Mary was my patient, and everyone knew it. We hear “life is too short” all the time, but how many people have been on scene after a heartbroken mother rolled over on her four-month-old, and you work that child like its your own, knowing she’s been down too long. As a healthcare provider, you have those patients that make it all worth it; That remind you why you keep going back for the MVAs, amputations, overdoses, three year old with fishhook in his eye, 2 year old down a flight of stairs, Alzheimer’s patient who doesn’t understand why they’re being strapped to the stretcher, 302 who pulls a gun, pancreatic cancer patient who vomits blood on you while you’re at the bottom of the stairchair and there’s not a thing you can do about it until you get down two more flights of stairs. My ambulance is my office. EMS has given me more experience, hope and disappointment than I could have ever asked for as an undergraduate. It has done nothing short of fuel my desire for advancement in the medical field. “The contest is a lion fight. So chin up, put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little. Don’t lick your wounds. Celebrate them. The scars you bear are the sign of a competitor. You’re in a lion’s fight. Just because you didn’t win, doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar.” The countless hours of procrastination watching the medical inaccuracies of Grey’s Anatomy, the breathtaking visuals in House MD, and the thrill of ER, have, if nothing else, given me hope. Hope that someone will see past my mediocre GPA and undergraduate transcript, and afford me the second chance I know I deserve. I proved my capability and motivation in high school and my last two years of college when I refocused my goals and plan. I am ready, prepared, and willing to do whatever it takes to reach my aspiration of providing the highest quality care of which I am capable. If you are not ready at this moment to put faith in me, I will do whatever it takes to get to that point, whether it be retaking classes, or investing another $40,000 in my education to excel in a post-baccalaureate program. After years of dabbling in medical occupations, I have finally found the one I want, and my desire to live and learn has never been stronger. Personal Statement Examples #10 I have since reworked my essay and would prefer that the second copy be considered if possible. I am about 150 characters over the limit and I am not sure what to cut or where. I also am working on conveying the message of why I want to be a PA and what I can offer that is unique. Any help is greatly appreciated! I’ve learned a lot of important lessons while shadowing a physician assistant in the emergency room this summer: always clean up your own sharps, communicate with other ER staff members to effectively work as a team, never talk about how “quiet” a day is, and that a warm blanket and a smile go a long way in patient care. Most importantly, I learned how much I love coming in to the hospital each day, excited to interact with a wide variety of patients and have a positive impact, no matter how small, in their healthcare experience. Shadowing in a level II trauma center granted me opportunities to develop my own personal philosophy about patient care, as well as furthered my desire to pursue a career as a PA in this field. My biggest inspiration to become a PA, however, started well before I ever shadowed in a hospital but from something much closer to home. It was the summer before my final year at Miami when I got the text from my dad. He had been sick for a few weeks and finally went to the hospital for routine blood work. Doctor’s visits used to be rare for him, as he is an ER physician and seemed to never get sick. When the results came in, they immediately admitted him to Cleveland Clinic Main Campus. He told me he was fine and not to worry, all while joking about getting a room with the Indians game on, so I believed him. The next morning his tests were back – he had acute lymphoblastic leukemia. His first thirty days of routine high-volume chemotherapy were cut short when he acquired an infection and spiraled into total organ failure. He was in the ICU for roughly two months, during which time he drifted in and out of comas and had, as he phrased it, “a visit from every specialist except gynecology.” When he finally regained consciousness after two weeks of dialysis, he was so weak he could not sit up unassisted so he spent two more months at an inpatient rehabilitation facility before he was finally allowed to come home on Christmas Eve. It was the best present a girl could ask for, but not without its challenges. He was still very weak and wheelchair-bound. He had to take handfuls of pills several times a day, and needed his blood sugar checked before each meal due to the steroids. The house had to be regularly scrubbed from top to bottom due to his low neutrophil count. When I was younger and my mother suffered two strokes, my father had been the one that had kept our family together. Our upside down world felt like a nightmare. I learned to do fingersticks and insulin injections gently, so as not to bruise his paper-thin skin. I taught him how to flush his PICC line when it became clogged (a trick I learned from my own experience with IV antibiotics to treat osteomyelitis a year prior). When he started walking, I learned to block his knees with my hands so he wouldn’t fall too far forward after he lost most of his proprioception and motor control from peripheral neuropathy. I had a tough choice to make: return to school and continue pursuing my degree, or stay home and help my mother. I stayed in Cleveland for as long as I could, but eventually went back to school the day before spring semester started. I continued to come home as often as I could. Our schedule wasn’t the only thing that changed – because my father was unable to work, our lifestyle changed considerably due to the financial strain from hospital bills. We now considered ease of access everywhere we travelled to make sure it was safe for his wheelchair. One night, my mother confided that she had never spent so much time with my father in the entirety of their marriage. Cancer is not only a physical fight but a myriad of battles that accompany the diagnosis. Standing strong with my family through all of these hurdles has helped me to develop a comprehensive and unique perspective on the challenges that health issues bring to patients and their families. My father has since returned to work in the ER, and continues to greet patients with a smile, grateful to be alive and healthy enough to practice medicine. Even before my father got sick, I was in love with medicine, too. From a young age, I questioned the world around me with a thirst for answers that never waned. As I learned body systems in anatomy and physiology, I looked at illness and injury as a puzzle waiting to be solved. When I was taking care of my dad, he told me I should look into PA school. He said “if you love medicine and actually want to spend time with patients, become a Physician Assistant.” In my time shadowing in the Emergency Department, I have found this to be very true. While the doctors intercept phone calls from specialists and chart lengthy notes, the PAs are in the room with patients, performing a review of symptoms or suturing lacerations all while keeping the patient informed and calm to ameliorate stress levels. The positive impact on the patient care experience is palpable. I want to apply the same compassion and understanding that I have acquired during my own family’s experiences and those from shadowing in the emergency room in order to better someone else’s health care experience. Personal Statement Examples #11 “Whether you know it or not, you do have the power to touch the lives of everyone you encounter and make their day just a little bit better.” I once heard a resident named Mary console her peer who was feeling useless with this small piece of advice. Mary had lived at Lutheran Home for about 5 years. She had the warmest smile that spread across her face and seemed to tell a story. It was a smile that reminded me of the kind smile my grandmother used to have. I remember thinking that this woman truly amazed me and seemed to have an uncanny ability to comfort others. Mary was a selfless, compassionate woman that I admired very much. One day I learned that Mary had fallen while trying to transfer into the shower and had injured her arm and had hit her head. This incident, followed by more health issues, seemed to be the start to her declined orientation and abilities. Mary was put on bed rest, slowly began to lose her appetite and began to have pain. For the next few months, I was happy when I was assigned to care for Mary because the statement I had witnessed truly came to life. Mary was not always well taken care of and had no family visitors in her last days. Many times I would try to check in to ensure her comfort, sit with her in my free time or reproach Mary when she had refused a meal to get her to eat a little more. In the end, small things like holding her had, being there for her and talking to her undoubtedly made her day just a little better. Mary taught me to be patient, respectful and compassionate to each and every person I encounter and I have truly witnessed the improvement that this approach provides in the healing process. I believe that this manner is essential to being a remarkable physician assistant. I first learned about the Physician Assistant career when I began working at University of Massachusetts Memorial Hospital, and the model resonated strongly with my life’s motivation. I am passionate about relationship building, quality time with people, and the flexibility to be a lifelong learner. I love the idea of a reduced burden on the PA’s because it allows focus on and development of their strengths. I know in my deepest core that this profession is what I am meant to do. Yes I am hardworking, ambitious and a team player, but what makes me distinctly qualified to pursue a professional degree as a physician assistant is my humanity and kindness that I have learned through my experiences. To me, a physician’s assistant serves her patients, her doctor and her community with respect and compassion. There are an immeasurable amount of moments that I have experienced in patient care that have inspired my career choice. In memory of Mary, and every patient who has individually touched my everyday life I have found my passion with this humanity. I always take the time to be with my patients, understand their point of view, form a connection with them and give them the best quality care I can possibly provide. I have been involved in direct patient care in different settings for 3 years and find great joy every day I go to work. To be able to influence a person’s everyday life is a blessing and gives me my inner peace. There is no greater reward in life than to share your love and compassion with the world to make everyone else’s life just a little bit better. Personal Statement Examples #12 My journey to Physician’s Assistant school started three years ago when my life was an utter mess. I was in an unsatisfying relationship, in a career that made me completely miserable, and I suffered from headaches everyday from the stress of dealing with these issues. I knew I was not where I was supposed to be in life. I freed myself from my unsatisfying relationship. The timing may not have been perfect, as I ended the relationship two months before our wedding, but I know I saved myself years of heartache. Four months after ending my engagement, I was laid off from my job. Shortly after being laid off, I had a seizure due to the headache medicine that I had been taking everyday prior to being laid off. This confirmed to me that I needed a career change. I have never been at a loss for ambition, but my recent experience gave me pause as to the direction I should go. One day a trusted advisor asked me if I had ever thought of becoming a doctor or a physician’s assistant. At first, I dismissed the idea because I knew not only would I have to go back to school, I would have to take challenging classes such as chemistry. The thought of taking chemistry and math-related classes intimidated me. The fear of financial and academic failure made me consider what I needed and wanted. After researching and comparing physicians, nurse practitioners and physician’s assistants, I felt a genuine interest in the PA field. The length of time in school, the cost of schooling, the level of autonomy, and the ability to explore specialties are a few reasons why becoming a PA is appealing. For a time, I avoided making a decision for fear of making the wrong one. I especially wrestled with knowing that if I went back to school, I’d have to take classes that I took as an undergraduate over twelve years ago. However, indecision due to fear was robbing me of my time and thrusting into me paralyzing thoughts of what may never happen. In the interest of challenging my fear, I decided to volunteer with a local fire and rescue station to obtain my EMT-B certification. Additionally, I began taking classes that I thought I might struggle with. Logically, I thought, if I could love being in this fast paced healthcare setting and continue to find the motivation to undertake some of the most challenging classes of my college career, I’d be reassured I was on the right path. Returning to school was not easy. I did have to withdraw from college chemistry my first semester as I was overwhelmed with change. I was a bit rusty and needed to ease into the semester so that I could practice the habits that make me a great student. Once I found my footing, I enrolled in college chemistry again, and I really enjoyed it. I felt as if my mind was expanding and I was learning things that I once thought I could not easily learn. My confidence soared, and I wondered what all my apprehension and anxiety was about. Obtaining my EMT-Basic certification, volunteering, and returning to school to conquer my most demanding classes to date has been one of the most rewarding decisions of my life. Becoming an EMT-B has allowed me to learn fundamental healthcare such as conducting patient assessments and history, understanding anatomy and physiology concepts, and communicating with patients. The EMS field has rendered me more open-minded and tolerant, allowing me to treat people of all different socioeconomic status, education levels, and ethnicities. I have seen a very human side of people I otherwise would not. I now have a clear picture of what I want, I’m driven and know what I want to achieve. I have grown professionally and personally while providing compassionate care to others and pushing myself to an extent that I did not think was possible. In addition, since returning to school I realize that I enjoy confronting my fears and I am better at challenging myself and learning new things than when I was in my teens and twenties. I am eager to take this desire to the next level, striving ever to enrich my life with the challenges that only a profession in the physician’s assistant field can bring. Personal Statement Examples #13 My strongest memory of my “abuelita” involves her, in tears, recounting her fathers’ refusal to allow her to study medicine because she was a woman. Perhaps this story remains so clear on account of her dementia driven repetitiveness, but I suspect it was my emotional response of longing for a calling as strong as hers. Where we did share the same love of crossword puzzles and literature, I never felt physician was the right career for me- despite her grandmotherly insistence. Today I am confident that Physician Assistant (PA) is the answer to a question I have been asking myself for a long time now. What will I dedicate my life to? As a student oscillating between a career in medicine and international development it was unclear which path best fit my character and career goals. Following my passions led me to find the PA occupation. It is a combination of everything I am interested in: biology, health education and public service. My fascination with the human body led me to major in Physiology and Neuroscience at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD). This course of study inspired and challenged me as it combined my interest in biology and enthusiasm for problem solving. A Biochemistry course presented more of a challenge than others. I immediately retook the course learning a valuable lesson- that personal growth comes from challenges. With this lesson in mind I decided to enter post graduate life through the toughest challenge I could imagine- volunteering for two years in a third world country. In an effort to pursue my interest in both health and international development I joined the Peace Corps. Furthermore this allowed me to work for an organization whose philosophy I could believe in. The Peace Corps attempts to make a real difference in the lives of real people. Within months of living in rural Ecuador I took notice and was inspired by the tangible and immediate impact made by medical professionals. Eager to join them I jumped at the opportunity to collaborate with a rural health clinic. Some of my responsibilities included taking patient histories and vital signs, providing hands on assistance to the gynecologist and developing a community health education program. I thoroughly enjoyed all of the research, creativity and problem solving it took to develop and implement health education that would really reach the people I was trying to help. Whether facilitating workshops, consulting in the clinic, or in home visits, I thrived on patient interaction with people from vastly different backgrounds. I found that one thing is universal; everyone wants to feel heard. A good practitioner first needs to be a good listener. I also found that my lack of medical knowledge at times left me feeling helpless like when I was unable to help a woman who approached me after a family planning workshop. We were in a community hours away from medical care. She had persistent vaginal bleeding since giving birth three months prior. It struck me that there was little I could do without a medical degree. This experience, and others like it, inspired me to further my education to become a medical practitioner. Since my return from the Peace Corps I enthusiastically pursued the PA profession. I completed the remaining pre requisites with high marks, took an accelerated EMT course at UCLA, volunteered in the emergency room (ER) and shadowed a number of PAs. One PA, Jeremy, has been a particularly impactful role model. He maintains strong, trusting relationships with the patients. He is extremely knowledgeable, unhurried, and personable as he meets patient needs. It is no wonder they request him as their primary care practitioner and I hope to practice with the same skill one day. All of my shadowing experiences reaffirmed my career objectives most align with that of a PA, where I can focus on the care and treatment of my patients, without the added responsibility of owning my own business. Whereas Peace Corps ignited my passion for a career in medicine and shadowing in the family practice opened my eyes to the PA profession, working as an emergency room technician (ER Tech) has cemented my desire to become a PA. In addition to my ER Tech duties I am a certified Spanish interpreter. Every day I am fortunate enough to work closely with a large staff of PAs, physicians and nurses. Often times I interpret for the same patient throughout their entire visit. Through these interactions I have developed a great deal of appreciation for the PAs. As they typically treat less acute patients they can spend more time on patient education. The most meaningful part of my job is ensuring patients receive quality medical care regardless of their language or education. An unexpected benefit has resulted from the doctors, PAs and nurses recognizing my enthusiasm for learning and sharing their medical knowledge to help me realize my dream of one day becoming a PA. A theme of helping the medically underserved has developed over the course of my adult life. Unequivocally it is my calling to continue this gratifying work as PA in primary care. I am confident I will succeed in your program because of my dedication to finishing everything that I start and desire to learn. I am an exceptional candidate due to my multi-cultural perspective, years of experience in bilingual patient care and commitment to the physician assistant profession. Upon completion of Physician Assistant school I will be the first in my generation of 36 cousins to receive a graduate education. My abuelita would be brimming with pride. Personal Statement Examples #14 Dirt. Coating the curve of my ear, the lining of my nostrils, and sticking to my overheated, salty skin; it’s present with every inhale of breath. The Mexican sun beats heat upon my sunburnt shoulders. A Spanish-speaking boy pulls me into the dirt to sit cross-legged across from each other while he teaches me a rhythmic hand-slapping game. I notice his leg is angled awkwardly as if he is compensating for a weak spot on his calf. Peering over his lap, I catch a glimpse of a silver dollar sized pus-filled bump. He shies away. Why should he trust a church volunteer building houses in Mexico? I’m powerless to help this young boy, powerless to heal him. I feel helpless. Ice. Melting and seeping into woolen gloves, encasing my freezing fingers. The wind races across my cheeks, slips in the cracks of my jacket and scarf. I am in Detroit. The man with the bare, wrinkled hand grasps my arm with a crinkly smile. He is a veteran who feels more at home in this dark, concrete corner in downtown Detroit than any hospital. He bends to show me his swelling feet with red whelps racing along his shins. Why does he trust me? I am just a volunteer at a soup kitchen, powerless to heal him. I feel helpless. Droplets. Clinging and racing down the tip of a large tropical leaf, splashing onto my arm through a rusty metal window. Horns honk. Bells dance. Touts clamor for my attention. Amid the wet, tropical heat, people move in every direction atop a carpet of trash lining the streets. I’m sitting on a crowded, sweltering bus outside Delhi, India. A young beggar drags himself up the metal steps of the bus. One elbow in front of the other, he slowly crawls up the aisle. He attempts to pull himself into my lap, dried blood and dirt matting his head, flies swarming his ears, thigh stumps dangling off the edge of the seat. Although I shouldn’t, I help him over my lap to the seat beside me, tears streaming down my face. Money will not help him. Money would just encourage him to persuade a few coins off the next tourist that comes along. I’m sure he trusts no one even though he pretends to engage me, for he sees me as a target rather than as a backpacker volunteering anywhere an extra set of hands is needed along my travels. I am powerless to heal him. I feel helpless. All three of these experiences are just snapshots of the times I have felt helpless. Helplessness began as a child and older sister, coming from a single mother family with no health insurance, no college degrees and the emptiest cart in line at the local grocery store; helplessness has ended as I have risen above unlikely odds, returning to college after the experiences of volunteer work locally, across the U.S. and across the globe. I have had the opportunity to work and volunteer in orphanages and local medical clinics serving the underprivileged within multiple countries. I have had a taste of what it is like to treat wounds, to assist in transporting the wounded, to sit comfortingly beside the bed of a woman with resistant tuberculosis as she took her last breaths. I have worked alongside many health professionals along the way, but the physician assistants stood out to me. They were versatile and compassionate, spending the majority of their time with the patients. Most adapted to every new circumstance and smoothly transitioned between specialties in the field. Every encounter with a patient or a physician assistant has fueled my ambition and fever for more knowledge and skills, leading me back to re-enrolling in college. My transcript break between immature teenager and driven adult taught me inalienable concepts such as sacrifice, pain, hard work, appreciation, compassion, integrity and determination. I nurtured my passions and discovered my strengths and weaknesses. Six years after leaving college and four years after returning, I am now the first college graduate in my family, having worked my way through as a restaurant server depending on academic scholarships and tips. On each break in between semesters I have continued my volunteer work locally, in Thailand, and in Haiti. In the upcoming year, I have secured a position as an emergency room technician and will also complete a Pre-PA internship through Gapmedic in Tanzania in the spring to continue to prepare for a Physician Assistant Program. In the memory of every human connection I have made along my journey, having both been a member of as wells as served the underprivileged, I will continue my drive and ambition toward Physician Assistant Studies in hopes I can continue to become a little less helpless. Personal Statement Examples #15 When I look back over the last several years of my life, I never foresaw myself considering a second career. However, several exciting and fulfilling experiences that I had over the last few years have led to my decision to pursue dentistry as a career. A future in the health care field was a natural choice for me, coming from a family of health care workers. I also had a flair for biology right from my school days and my interest in holistic medicine found me choosing a career in homeopathic medicine. I have striven hard to keep myself among the top 10% of the class and my curiosity and interest in the human body and diseases that affect it has grown by leaps and bounds during my years of homeopathic medical training. The motivation behind me, to become a health care professional was being a victim to see the sufferings faced my Grand Father who was a lung cancer patient (mesothelioma). Since we were residing at a rural area in India, my Grand Father had to travel for more than 2 hours to get medical care. Shortness of breath due to pleural effusion, chest pain and the sufferings after chemotherapy, all these annoying hardship which he suffered motivated me of becoming a health care professional in future. Moreover the kindness and care the Doctors, and other healthcare professionals showed towards him, made him to overcome the sufferings, had always motivated me to continue being passionate about my healthcare career in spite of all difficulties in this pathway. There was nothing the medicine can do in his late 80s, unless giving him support and joyful time in his remaining days. I still remember the Physician and his assistant who always visited him and advised to be bold and prepared to face everything. He trusted his care group .Their words made his last moments of death a peaceful one. From that day onwards, I had no other thought of what to become in future. My fiance, a software engineer, had made plans to immigrate to the United States and pursue further training in Java. When I told him about my interest in medical field, he immediately encouraged me to apply to PA school once we reached America. After all, America was the land of opportunity- a place where you could set out to achieve whatever dreams you may have in your heart. During my husband’s training, he mentioned to me that he had several co-workers who were engineers or lawyers, who successfully made medicine their second career. Elated by his encouragement and excited about the prospect of becoming a PA, I planned to complete the prerequisites to PA school with a 4.0 GPA. I learned quickly to manage my time efficiently between taking care of my kids and studying for my course work. My rotation in the holistic clinic in our final year of homeopathic school has also greatly influenced me. Life stress and unhealthy habits cause most of today’s illnesses. I found that although most physicians do an excellent job of counseling patients on which drugs to take, they spend little time talking about healthy life habits. The prospect of treating the patient as a whole rather than his or her complains alone was, to me, the way to go. I am especially interested in being a physician assistant in the field of Internal Medicine. The physician assistant, to me, is like a detective, gathering all the clues and arriving at a logical diagnosis. Since it is so broad, and since its sub-specialties are so well developed, I believe that Internal Medicine is the most challenging of all specialties Charisma is a trait difficult to learn but from my childhood days, I have practiced to gain very quickly the attention, respect and trust of others by a good smile. Being a good team player, excellent communication skills, my passion and my dedication helped me providing good quality care to my patients. The rewards that come from improving the patients’ quality of life have motivated me to become an influential and successful healthcare professional and I assure this would add to my Physician assistant Program as well. With all these experiences in medical field and my intense desire to continue as a healthcare professional, I hope, specifically, Physician Assistant would be a perfect match. Patience and persistence are essential twins needed in healthcare profession and hope I have achieved it during my clinical experience. Through my healthcare experiences, I have grown not only as healthcare professional, but also an individual. I have become a great listener, an assertive partner, and a positive worker to the patients and healthcare team which are important attributes for a Physician Assistant. Determination, perseverance and hard work have taught me how to succeed throughout life. Along with my passion for medicine and healing people, my desire to provide quality care to underserved communities, my life experiences have shaped my values and beliefs into the person I am today which has motivated me to be an influential and successful Physician Assistant in future. I am very much attracted to the career of being a Physician Assistant. I want to help as many people as I can. The medical field is not easy in any way; from the vigorous studying to the emotional attachment to a patient. I know that I am prepared, and will be even more equipped once a Physician Assistant. I believe ‘The future should always be seen as bright and optimistic. I always believe in positive thinking. The Power of Positive Thinking, I prefer the positives in my personal and everyday lives. I want to become a Physician Assistant to provide excellent healthcare for my patients. With all my experiences inside and outside of the United States, I strongly believe that I will make a great Physician Assistant. Having lived and studied in Middle east (Dubai and Abudhabi), India and now in the United States, I can speak Malayalam, Hindi and English and I believe that I can enrich the cultural diversity of the class. To become a Physician Assistant, requires life-long hard work, persistence, patience, dedication and above all, the right kind of right temperament. I believe that my training in homeopathic medicine gives me a unique and different perspective on patient care, that when combined with my training as a Physician Assistant can be invaluable in delivering excellent patient care. I hope to not only treat my patients, but also their family member’s wounded spirits. I look forward to the next stage in my professional life with great enthusiasm. Thank you for your consideration. Personal Statement Examples #16   I would love some feedback on my essay! I am just over 4500 characters, so I have a little wiggle room for editing From an older sister caring for seven little sibling to an in-charge paramedic, my life has been full of unique experiences that have molded me into the healthcare provider I am today. I never thought I would seek to further my education past a baccalaureate level, after all, my higher education was supposed to prepare me for an inevitable role as a stay-at-home wife and mother. However, working as a paramedic and earning a degree Emergency Health Sciences has awoken a passion for medicine that drives me forward. As I work on the ambulance I am constantly plagued by my desire to do more for my patients. This insatiable desire to expand my knowledge in order to effectively help the ill and injured provides my motivation for becoming a physician assistant. As the second oldest in a family of nine children, homeschooled in a small religious subculture, my academic journey has been anything but normal. My parents taught me to be both an independent learner and a teacher to my siblings. Although my parents emphasized rigorous academics, my time as a child was split balancing schoolwork and caring for my younger siblings. I poignantly remember sitting at the kitchen table teaching myself biology late into the evening, tired after a long day of babysitting my siblings. I tried to study earlier, but my mother had been busy, leaving me with little time for school until the children were tucked into bed. As I struggled to stay awake the thought of a career in the medical field seemed like a pipe dream. Little did I know, those days spent studying index cards while cooking dinner and wiping little noses taught me invaluable skills in time management, responsibility, and empathy. These skills have proven to be the key to success in both my education and career as a paramedic. After I completed my EMT-Basic certification in high school, I knew my future lay in the medical field. In an attempt to follow my parents’ requirement to enter a course of study deemed “appropriate” for a woman, I began pursuing a degree in nursing. During the first semester of my freshman year, my family fell on difficult financial times and I had to develop a backup plan. Feeling the weight of responsibility to ease the financial strain on my family, I utilized credit by exam to test out of my remaining core curriculum and entered a fast-paced paramedic program. Becoming a paramedic has proven to be the most formative decision in my life thus far. As the youngest in-charge paramedic at my company, I once again felt a heavy weight of responsibility as I stretched my leadership skills to new levels. Not only is the in-charge paramedic responsible for patient care decisions, my EMT partner and local first responders look to me for direction and scene management. The skills I acquired caring for my family have served me well, as I was recently promoted to a field training officer. Not only has my job allowed me to break free from the familial constraints that hindered a career in medicine, it has taught me the true purpose of healthcare. Emergency medicine is not merely a job; it is an opportunity to touch the lives of others during times of pain and suffering. The physical, mental, and emotional stress of being a paramedic pushes me to a critical level where I am forced to overcome these obstacles or fail my patients. Faced with chaos and life and death situations I must garner all my time management and mental capacities to provide rapid, accurate, and empathetic care to my patients. These challenges have sharpened my intellect, but more importantly they have made me a stronger and more compassionate person. Interacting with individuals of all ages and walks of life has caused my studies to come alive and fuels my desire to continue my education as a physician assistant. Diseases are no longer a list of diagnostic criteria in a textbook; they take on faces and names with tangible struggles and symptoms. These experiences have opened my eyes to a level of suffering too compelling to dismiss. I must be more and know more so that I may do more. Working with these patients, I feel restrained by my knowledge and skill level. I once thought that earning my degree in emergency medicine would serve to break these restraints, but the opposite has occurred. The more I learn the more I realize how vast the study of medicine is, and my ardor to continue my education grows. Becoming a physician assistant is my opportunity to break these restraints and continue onward in a life dedicated to learning and service to the ill and injured. Personal Statement Examples

[douglassmiith]

Self-Made Millionaire Matt Clark Shares How to Build Your Own Ecommerce Company

Pay attention to expenses and double down on what works.

March 31, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Growing up near Houston, Matt Clark didn’t seem destined to be an entrepreneur. He struggled after his parents divorced, comparing himself to kids with two-parent homes and seemingly happy lives. In high school, he hung out with kids going nowhere, doing drugs, and even selling drugs.

Fortunately, he never got into some of the same legal trouble as his friends. Still, Clark recognized his risky behavior threatened his hazy but ambitious dreams of one day running a business. He knew he needed change. Clark left Houston without telling any friends and spent the summer in Austin, Texas, to reset and distance himself from bad influences.

Clark’s aimlessness finally began to dissipate during his sophomore year of college, when he read The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield. “It was like the book was written for me,” he says, remembering how he tore through it within days. “It sparked my passion for entrepreneurship.”

That passion proved a powerful driver: He joined the college’s business-plan team as part of the undergraduate entrepreneurship program, and graduated near the top of his class with dual degrees.

But after graduating in 2008 amid the economic crash, Clark sought refuge in an investment banking job at Citigroup rather than pursue his then-hazy entrepreneurial dreams. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do at the time, and someone told me to work for a big corporation for three to five years and learn the ropes,” he recalls. But almost immediately, Clark realized that following standard advice would only get him mediocre returns. To build something huge — something bigger than he could even imagine — he had to follow his gut and fast.

Scratching the Entrepreneurial Itch

Clark skipped the hand-wringing and second-guessing to quit his banking gig just seven months into the job to launch a website selling health supplements. When he expanded to Amazon soon after, he watched in disbelief as his sales mushroomed, far eclipsing the site’s volume. Soon his business had surged from selling 10 to 11,000 products on Amazon.

To fuel that astronomical growth, Clark immersed himself in the then-fledgling community of ecommerce entrepreneurs. He attended seminars about Google advertising and read every sales and business book. “This helped me go from zero to $2 million in revenue, but I was scaling so fast that I wasn’t tracking anything,” says Clark, who was so focused on that top-line number he didn’t pay attention to things like hard-line expenses, labor and profit margins. If he had, he would have quickly seen that his booming business was operating in the red.

This unsustainable growth came to a head when he got a six-figure credit card bill and realized he didn’t have the cash flow to make the full repayment. “I’d been so focused on sales that I didn’t pay attention to my expenses,” says Clark. “I realized I had to learn to produce profits, not just sales.”

Facing such financial strain, some entrepreneurs might have tightened their belts. Clark made another bold move instead: scraping his bank account almost clean to spend $10,000 to attend one of renowned life coach Tony Robbins’ Business Mastery events — even though he was barely making ends meet. “I was desperate,” he recalls. “I needed to meet others as motivated as me and figured anyone willing to pay $10,000 must be pretty motivated.”

There he met someone who later introduced him to Jason Katzenback, a serial entrepreneur who was looking to dive into the next big idea. Together, they decided to help aspiring entrepreneurs build ecommerce companies while avoiding Clark’s mistakes. “I learned how to build a business in college and attended all these courses and events, but I encountered lots of challenges,” says Clark. “There was a better way to teach this stuff.”

Founding an Ecommerce School

With Clark’s supplement business now out of the picture, he was able to focus on building a new company with Katzenback: Amazing.com. One of their programs, Amazon Selling Machine, helps people create private-label businesses selling physical goods on the rapidly growing platform.

They guide students step by step, from choosing a product to sell and finding suppliers to marketing agency. The videos, community support and access to business tools usher newbies through the sometimes painful early stages. Customers can also leverage a mentor network to connect with someone who has successfully navigated similar challenges.

Jason Katzenback and Matt Clark hosting an Amazing Selling Machine tutorial.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

Amazing urges entrepreneurs to focus on high-quality products and take packaging seriously. “It sounds crazy to me now, but I didn’t do that with my supplement company,” admits Clark. “In my rush to get a business up and running, I sold the first thing I could get my hands on. Some of my early products had terrible packaging, while the ingredients were pretty much the same as everyone else’s.”

Clark counsels sellers to picture a real person — someone like their mother, brother or daughter — who will experience the product. “The better you can make that experience, the more likely your business will succeed long-term.”

Not Living Up to the Amazing Name

By 2015, Amazing.com hosted Richard Branson at their annual live event and had a team of around 50 working at its Austin headquarters — but the company was teetering on the edge of ruin. That year, Katzenback’s daughter was diagnosed with cancer, prompting him to quit the business temporarily to focus on family and leaving Clark to steer the ship solo.

Amazing.com hosted Richard Branson at their 2015 annual event but was on the brink of ruin.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

While Katzenback was away, Clark pivoted Amazon Selling Machine from a premium-priced, intensive course to a low-priced monthly membership, hoping to help even more people build businesses. “I tried to go wide to appeal to everyone instead of going deep into a niche,” he explains.

It didn’t work.

“I made several bad decisions fueled by blind optimism and ambition,” he shares candidly. “I thought, What got us here won’t get us where we want to go. So I completely threw away our main product.

“We were stuck with a massive operational load, including $40,000 monthly rent, and were burning through half a million dollars every month,” he continues. “I had to lay off half my team and came within a week of running out of cash.” Clark found the experience personally devastating — he couldn’t sleep, eat or bear to let his mind linger on the employees he’d lost.

But he also recognized that the Amazing.com live events were a bright spot. The company continued to host the live events, and the joy he saw on members’ faces was like a salve for his soul. “They kept telling me that our original program changed their lives,” says Clark. “I realized we just needed to do what worked.”

Humility, Discipline and the Right Kind of Growth

Clark refocused the business on the original, premium ecommerce training program. By slowly expanding from there, he is looking forward to sustained growth.

He shares that the struggles taught him humility and how to spot customers who are about to make similar mistakes with their businesses. Most importantly, it taught him to be careful about hiring because others’ lives are affected.

Clark also advises not to become too risk-averse. He counsels his customers to manage risk carefully so they can aggressively pursue their targets. “We could have discovered that the new product didn’t work by simply testing it before we threw away our flagship product,” he points out. 

Now that Clark knows how to take smart risks in business, he also combines caution with adrenaline in his personal life. He practices Brazilian jiu-jitsu several times a week and has spent his off-time earning his helicopter pilot’s license in Hawaii and attending Porsche driving school.

Life outside business: Matt Clark earning his helicopter pilot’s license and Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

“I recharge by doing activities that consume me,” says Clark. “Pushing so hard in business burned me out; but when you’re sitting in a giant metal bucket for 12 hours a day trying not to kill yourself, you can’t think about anything but flying. I felt a million times better when I came back.”

In the end, he says building a business is like martial arts or driving a race car — it’s all about remaining disciplined while taking calculated risks and leaning into the obstacles.

Connect with Matt Clark on his website and Instagram. Learn how to build an Amazon business at Amazing.com.

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

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Self-Made Millionaire Matt Clark Shares How to Build Your Own Ecommerce Company

Pay attention to expenses and double down on what works.

March 31, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Growing up near Houston, Matt Clark didn’t seem destined to be an entrepreneur. He struggled after his parents divorced, comparing himself to kids with two-parent homes and seemingly happy lives. In high school, he hung out with kids going nowhere, doing drugs, and even selling drugs.

Fortunately, he never got into some of the same legal trouble as his friends. Still, Clark recognized his risky behavior threatened his hazy but ambitious dreams of one day running a business. He knew he needed change. Clark left Houston without telling any friends and spent the summer in Austin, Texas, to reset and distance himself from bad influences.

Clark’s aimlessness finally began to dissipate during his sophomore year of college, when he read The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield. “It was like the book was written for me,” he says, remembering how he tore through it within days. “It sparked my passion for entrepreneurship.”

That passion proved a powerful driver: He joined the college’s business-plan team as part of the undergraduate entrepreneurship program, and graduated near the top of his class with dual degrees.

But after graduating in 2008 amid the economic crash, Clark sought refuge in an investment banking job at Citigroup rather than pursue his then-hazy entrepreneurial dreams. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do at the time, and someone told me to work for a big corporation for three to five years and learn the ropes,” he recalls. But almost immediately, Clark realized that following standard advice would only get him mediocre returns. To build something huge — something bigger than he could even imagine — he had to follow his gut and fast.

Scratching the Entrepreneurial Itch

Clark skipped the hand-wringing and second-guessing to quit his banking gig just seven months into the job to launch a website selling health supplements. When he expanded to Amazon soon after, he watched in disbelief as his sales mushroomed, far eclipsing the site’s volume. Soon his business had surged from selling 10 to 11,000 products on Amazon.

To fuel that astronomical growth, Clark immersed himself in the then-fledgling community of ecommerce entrepreneurs. He attended seminars about Google advertising and read every sales and business book. “This helped me go from zero to $2 million in revenue, but I was scaling so fast that I wasn’t tracking anything,” says Clark, who was so focused on that top-line number he didn’t pay attention to things like hard-line expenses, labor and profit margins. If he had, he would have quickly seen that his booming business was operating in the red.

This unsustainable growth came to a head when he got a six-figure credit card bill and realized he didn’t have the cash flow to make the full repayment. “I’d been so focused on sales that I didn’t pay attention to my expenses,” says Clark. “I realized I had to learn to produce profits, not just sales.”

Facing such financial strain, some entrepreneurs might have tightened their belts. Clark made another bold move instead: scraping his bank account almost clean to spend $10,000 to attend one of renowned life coach Tony Robbins’ Business Mastery events — even though he was barely making ends meet. “I was desperate,” he recalls. “I needed to meet others as motivated as me and figured anyone willing to pay $10,000 must be pretty motivated.”

There he met someone who later introduced him to Jason Katzenback, a serial entrepreneur who was looking to dive into the next big idea. Together, they decided to help aspiring entrepreneurs build ecommerce companies while avoiding Clark’s mistakes. “I learned how to build a business in college and attended all these courses and events, but I encountered lots of challenges,” says Clark. “There was a better way to teach this stuff.”

Founding an Ecommerce School

With Clark’s supplement business now out of the picture, he was able to focus on building a new company with Katzenback: Amazing.com. One of their programs, Amazon Selling Machine, helps people create private-label businesses selling physical goods on the rapidly growing platform.

They guide students step by step, from choosing a product to sell and finding suppliers to marketing agency. The videos, community support and access to business tools usher newbies through the sometimes painful early stages. Customers can also leverage a mentor network to connect with someone who has successfully navigated similar challenges.

Jason Katzenback and Matt Clark hosting an Amazing Selling Machine tutorial.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

Amazing urges entrepreneurs to focus on high-quality products and take packaging seriously. “It sounds crazy to me now, but I didn’t do that with my supplement company,” admits Clark. “In my rush to get a business up and running, I sold the first thing I could get my hands on. Some of my early products had terrible packaging, while the ingredients were pretty much the same as everyone else’s.”

Clark counsels sellers to picture a real person — someone like their mother, brother or daughter — who will experience the product. “The better you can make that experience, the more likely your business will succeed long-term.”

Not Living Up to the Amazing Name

By 2015, Amazing.com hosted Richard Branson at their annual live event and had a team of around 50 working at its Austin headquarters — but the company was teetering on the edge of ruin. That year, Katzenback’s daughter was diagnosed with cancer, prompting him to quit the business temporarily to focus on family and leaving Clark to steer the ship solo.

Amazing.com hosted Richard Branson at their 2015 annual event but was on the brink of ruin.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

While Katzenback was away, Clark pivoted Amazon Selling Machine from a premium-priced, intensive course to a low-priced monthly membership, hoping to help even more people build businesses. “I tried to go wide to appeal to everyone instead of going deep into a niche,” he explains.

It didn’t work.

“I made several bad decisions fueled by blind optimism and ambition,” he shares candidly. “I thought, What got us here won’t get us where we want to go. So I completely threw away our main product.

“We were stuck with a massive operational load, including $40,000 monthly rent, and were burning through half a million dollars every month,” he continues. “I had to lay off half my team and came within a week of running out of cash.” Clark found the experience personally devastating — he couldn’t sleep, eat or bear to let his mind linger on the employees he’d lost.

But he also recognized that the Amazing.com live events were a bright spot. The company continued to host the live events, and the joy he saw on members’ faces was like a salve for his soul. “They kept telling me that our original program changed their lives,” says Clark. “I realized we just needed to do what worked.”

Humility, Discipline and the Right Kind of Growth

Clark refocused the business on the original, premium ecommerce training program. By slowly expanding from there, he is looking forward to sustained growth.

He shares that the struggles taught him humility and how to spot customers who are about to make similar mistakes with their businesses. Most importantly, it taught him to be careful about hiring because others’ lives are affected.

Clark also advises not to become too risk-averse. He counsels his customers to manage risk carefully so they can aggressively pursue their targets. “We could have discovered that the new product didn’t work by simply testing it before we threw away our flagship product,” he points out. 

Now that Clark knows how to take smart risks in business, he also combines caution with adrenaline in his personal life. He practices Brazilian jiu-jitsu several times a week and has spent his off-time earning his helicopter pilot’s license in Hawaii and attending Porsche driving school.

Life outside business: Matt Clark earning his helicopter pilot’s license and Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt.

Image Credit: Matt Clark

“I recharge by doing activities that consume me,” says Clark. “Pushing so hard in business burned me out; but when you’re sitting in a giant metal bucket for 12 hours a day trying not to kill yourself, you can’t think about anything but flying. I felt a million times better when I came back.”

In the end, he says building a business is like martial arts or driving a race car — it’s all about remaining disciplined while taking calculated risks and leaning into the obstacles.

Connect with Matt Clark on his website and Instagram. Learn how to build an Amazon business at Amazing.com.

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

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