#something about how havve only has their right eye and sung only has his left eye.

[suave-hogan]

revives evil sung with no context and a new look

[alixsgardenofnope]

Home

More writing time.

[Warnings: Some alcohol consumption and a bit of swearing, but not much otherwise.]

With this in mind, please proceed at your own discretion.

.

. . . . “Ya know,” Sung hums, “I wasn’t expecting Far Moon to look like something out of a fairy tale... It has a lot more giant mushroom houses and literal tree houses than I imagined it would.” 

Meouch snorts, “Well, this is only part of this place, there’s a whole city a couple miles from here that looks like if you took all the weird stuff out of New York and Tokyo and smashed ‘em together. Lot more modern out there, but this...” he gestures vaguely, “Pretty much as close to the countryside as you can get ‘round here.”

“Please tell me you live in one of the mushrooms.” Sung says, eyes big and bright.

Meouch shakes his head and sighs, “Nope, just a simple house made of stone. I mean, it’s a weird shape compared to what you’d see on Earth, but here? It’s pretty much the plainest building in the area.”

Sung’s shoulders slump slightly, but he still seems curious, pausing to look back at the others, “Wow... Havve and Phobos are really struggling on those stairs...” he laughs, watching as the two stragglers hesitantly help each other climb down the absurdly steep stairs leading down into Meouch’s neighborhood. The sight of Havve clinging onto Phobos’ arms for dear life isn’t something he’ll be forgetting any time soon.

“So...” Sung whispers, his overall demeanor turning more serious, “You gonna be okay here, or...?”

Meouch sighs, recalling why they’re even on Far Moon to begin with, “I’ll be fine, Marta invited me, and I don’t wanna let her down by running off after promising I would be here... ‘Sides, this ain’t about me, this is for Ma.” he replies resolutely, “If coming to her birthday party will make her happy, of course I’m gonna do it.”

Sung sniffs a little and smiles, “Ahh~ Meouch is unexpectedly a big ol’ softy when it comes to his mama, huh?” he teases, elbowing him slightly.

“Of course, she’s the fucking greatest.” Meouch says without even an ounce of embarrassment, “Knowing her, she’ll probably try adopting you guys the minute she meet-”

“Hey!” a voice calls out, interrupting Meouch’s train of thought, “Jazzlan!”

Meouch startles as arms wrap around his midsection, his feet leaving the ground, and he’s crushed into a bear hug. Lifting his head slightly from where he’s squished against his captor’s chest, he blinks and murmurs, “...Marta?”

“The one and only!” his sister chuckles, setting him down and brushing off his clothes a little, one hand resting on his shoulder, “Man, Phobos was right, you’re still short~”

“Oi, I’m taller than that bread basket!” Meouch huffs, it still bugs him that the reason he’s back in touch with his family is because Phobos made friends with his little sister, but hearing the little indignant noise his friend makes as he nearly trips on the final step makes up for it.

“So... uhh... is everyone already here except for me?” Meouch asks, scratching his cheek awkwardly, “Would’ve been here sooner, but, ya know... had to make a couple stops along the way and...” he trails off, and Marta smiles.

“Everyone except for Nayara showed up, but I didn’t really think she would to begin with...” she says sadly, but when Meouch opens his mouth to ask, she just holds up her hand, “We can talk about it later. Party first, drama later.”

Meouch nods and takes a deep breath, softly clapping his hands together, clearly nervous.

“We’re gonna go in the back way so that we can surprise Ma, Tamir and Javi are distracting her and Dad while Ezra gets the gifts ready.” Marta says, pointing down a narrow alleyway along the side of the house.

“Should we slap a bow on Meouch?” Sung jokes, snorting when Marta seems to genuinely consider the idea for a moment.

“No time for that.” Meouch pipes up immediately, “Let’s just hurry up and get inside.”

Marta nods and the group heads around to the back door.

---

The inside of his parents’ home hasn’t changed much during the time that he’s been gone, Meouch discovers as they slink in the back door, the only real difference is the number of photos his mother has plastered to the walls, some of which, to his absolute horror, are candid shots of him from not long ago.

He looks at Phobos pointedly, frowning when his friend smirks at him.

“Wait here.” Marta says, slipping through the hallway into the adjoining dining room. Meouch can hear cheerful chattering, which lowers a bit when Marta mentions something about a “small gift”, he mouths ‘hey’ at that, in the kitchen.

Meouch tenses slightly as he hears the sound of a chair scraping on the wood floor of the dining room, and moves to hide behind Havve, but finds himself being pushed forward instead.

“Oh, honey, what is it?” He can hear his mother saying as Marta leads her into the kitchen with her eyes covered, “Please not another dog, your father will-”

As she uncovers her eyes, his mother pauses almost immediately as he gaze falls on him, and he can’t help but tear up at the sight of the dawning realization on her face.

“Jazzy!” she cries, running over to him and pulling him into a warm hug, “It’s my Little Paws!”

Meouch stands there with his arms out to his sides for a moment before returning the hug, lifting his mother up like Marta had done to him only a little while before, “Hey, I’m not so little anymore. I’m at least taller than the counter now, ya have to give me that.”

As he sets his mother back down, she pulls back slightly to get a good look at him before noticing his friends behind him, “Oh goodness, look at this! Jazzy, you brought friends along.”

Meouch looks back at the guys, “Moral support.” he half jokes, and his mother lives an amused huff.

“Well now, you’ll have to introduce me...”

---

As the party winds down, and the initial shock and surprise of Meouch’s sudden appearance wears off, he finds himself standing on the back porch with Marta, beer in hand, it’s still so new and weird seeing his sister all grown up and drinking like this, talking about everything that’s happened since he left. They skip over some of the less pleasant parts, not wanting to completely sour the mood.

“...You mentioned Nayara earlier.” Meouch says, broaching the topic carefully, “What, uh, what happened there?”

Marta takes a sip of her drink and sets it down on the railing, folding her arms.

“Where do I even begin...?” she scoffs bitterly, before shaking her head, her expression slipping from anger into mild frustration and sadness, “...You weren’t the only one who left without saying goodbye.”

Meouch frowns, “...Ah, she...”

“Yeah...” Marta nods, “Except, with you...” 

“What?”

“Ma was sad when you left... when Nayara left, she was... I’ve never seen Ma so angry before.” she says, brows furrowed.

Meouch’s eyes widen, “Ma? Angry? What?”

“It was crazy.” Marta says, picking her drink back up, “...To be fair to Ma though... Nayara was kind of... Towards the end, she just didn’t... I don’t know how to word this other than she was a royal bitch.”

“Whoa, language, young lady.” Meouch teases, “...Sounds like Nayara though.”

Marta hums, and swirls her glass a bit, “Ma got over it a lot faster than when you left though.”

Meouch sighs and downs the rest of his drink, “Did Ma ever... ya know... tell you guys why I left?”

Marta shakes her head, “She just said you had something you had to do.”

“...I...” Meouch begins, but bits his lip instead, “...I... um...”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me if you’re not ready to.” Marta says, leaning against the railing.

Meouch nods. He’s really not ready to have this conversation yet.

“Let’s move onto something a bit less...” he makes an uncertain noise in the back of his throat, “Umm... so, you’re a captain now?”

“Been one for about a year now.” she says with a grin, “What about you, ‘commander’?”

Meouch groans, “That was Sung’s doing in part, he decided that since I help pilot the ship and all, that I had to have some kinda fancy title... Don’t entirely hate it though...”

---

Three days into their stay on Far Moon, Meouch decides it’s time to head home, much to the great disappointment of his friends, who had grown attached to his family, particularly his mother, who had been stuffing them full of local sweets and been crying about how she wanted to adopt them all. He admittedly feels a little guilty when he sees Phobos receiving a farewell hug that seems to drag on just a little longer than the rest, his mom has always had a good radar for who needs an extra bit of attention. 

“C’mon, Ma, ya gotta let him go or else he’ll wanna stay forever, and Dad already said no more dogs.” He huffs, watching Phobos reluctantly release himself from her embrace.

“Oh, it’s fine, I’m sure I could replace Ezra, Javi or Tamir with him-” there’s a small chorus of disgruntled sounds in the distance and she laughs, “Ah, but it’s probably better if I don’t.”

“It... It was good seeing you, again, Ma.” Meouch whispers as the guys head off towards the stairs, “I’m sor-”

He feels a gentle slap against his cheek and blinks as he sees his mother staring up with him with a serious expression on her face, “You never need to apologize to me for doing what’s right for you, Little Paws.” she says firmly, “I already told you a long time ago that I understand your reasons.”

“I know, but...” Meouch’s vision grows clouded and he wipes his hand across his eyes quickly, scrubbing away the tears as they fall, “I made you sad.”

“Oh, honey...” his mother sighs, “You’ve made me happy now though, so that more than makes up for it.”

“I...” Meouch begins, but is cut off by another gentle pat.

“None of that.” she smiles, “If you keep talking like this, you won’t be able to catch up with your friends. Now, one more hug for the road and then get your butt home safely!”

Meouch sniffles, “Okay.”

[mothphobos]

finally decided to put together a main hc post for the boys

sung

a cyclops! his eye is iridescent, so it’s a different color depending on the angle, but it looks blue from most angles

pointy ears

otherwise visually indistinguishable from a human 

his species starts as a fourth dimensional being without physical form but as they get older they can decide to take physical form if they want 

the decision to take physical form is permanent, they can’t shift back or shift into something else 

some Shit happened to make it so that he needs to be in the vicinity of the prismatic core to stay alive 

i think i’m leaning towards him having embedded it in his chest but i haven’t fully decided 

mostly bc the image of him just keeping it in a fuckin pocket when not in armor is hilarious 

in terms of neat powers and whatnot 

his species can travel short distances in time, but he can’t anymore bc of the same Shit from before (with the exception of outside forces like time crystals) 

can sense other life forms within the nearby area

can get sick but works through it quickly and most stuff can’t actually kill him

recovers insanely fast from injuries, and only serious wounds leave scars

a good dude! really fuckin old and has seen some shit but still an optimist and has a lot of faith in the good in the universe 

to be frank, adhd like a motherfucker 

more clued in to earth culture than it looks like, he just forgets/ignores a lot of it if it's not vital (i.e. won’t endanger anyone)

meouch

just a straight up dude with a lion head and tail 

real tough nails that tend to grow a bit pointy but no actual claws by cat standards 

really fast at recovering, both from wounds and illnesses 

is an only child and was raised by his mom

of the rest of his family, only knew his maternal grandmother

side note: his grandma is cool as fuck. absolutely cooler than him 

got into smuggling funk in his late teens/early twenties 

funk in that context is definitely smth more substantial than the music, and is produced by the music under certain conditions with the right instruments

funk is harmless to most species, but, yknow. 

worked his way up to being a commander in a space funk smuggling guild of sorts 

phobos’ planet was the meeting place with a client and there was an issue with containment upon production, and that’s p much how that happened

has to be careful when space traveling bc occasionally he will be recognized and at that point there’s a fifty fifty chance of things going badly

the best pilot of the bunch! also just generally good with vehicles, picks up how to operate things pretty quickly

not really a mechanic, but is good at finding quick fixes on ships until they can get to someone with more professional skill

still an asshole, but a decent dude where it matters 

gets himself into shit occasionally but is decent about patching things back up 

Loves Ladies 

the most clued in about earth culture, but only because it has a lot of similarities to his home planet and he spends the most time out doing stuff

phobos

MOTH MAN 

a luna moth, basically 

species stuff

bipedal with one pair of arms and a pair of functional wings

weird mouth setup! they’ve got proboscises which are what they use the most, but they’ve also got a pair of actual jaws more suited to solid food that are just hidden by Fluff most of the time

pitch based language made up of hums and buzzing noises 

technically diurnal, but their planet has much lower light than earth’s and similar planets 

his mother was the elected ruler of his people, his father was a botanist, and he also had an older brother 

he got the title of lord through relation and working to earn it

was working on a satellite above the planet with a couple astronauts when the funkpocalypse occured

in rushing to get back to the planet, his suit/equipment got caught on something and kept him there long enough that he only got back for the aftermath, so he wasn’t affected by the funk at all 

wings were damaged badly enough in the fallout that he can no longer fly 

was trying to go after meouch when sung found them 

he’d successfully found meouch but his injuries from debris and such were slowing him down immensely 

he’s still working through the tail end of mourning, but has forgiven meouch and has gotten to be good friends with him 

started learning sign language a few weeks after joining up with the rest of the band

just as much of a dweeb as sung, he just has a better filter and doesn’t immediately voice most of his dumbass thoughts 

an all around pleasant dude!

has a definite mischievous asshole streak though 

low tolerance for bullshit 

the quietest, even disregarding the vow of silence 

i wish i had a better way to describe it but enjoys a very tumblr brand of nonsensical and/or vaguely ominous humor 

the least knowledgeable about earth culture but manages to squeak by in a lot of situations through sheer luck and politeness

havve

was human before becoming a cyborg

most of his internal workings have been replaced, but aside from that, everything above his waist (torso, arms, head) is more or less intact

still has a functional digestive system! doesn’t need to use it to stay alive though

in terms of energy, does have a battery but it’s an outrageously long-lived one, he can go about a week without needing to charge

his charging ports are in the soles of his feet and charge through contact with a docking panel sung made him 

he’s also got a plug in one that he can hook up an extension cable to should he need to, though 

after sung (by a lot), he’s the oldest 

prefers to wear his armor most of the time, but can remove it if he chooses 

from the future but fucky time travel landed the crew he was previously a part of in the mesozoic era where they turned on him, nearly killed him, and promptly left him for dead

has a loyalty towards sung from being saved by him but that’s about it

or, it at least started as just loyalty, nothing more, but has grown to sort of actually value sung + meouch + phobos’ company

still doesn’t dwell on it much, though 

not one for feelings, at all 

does have them, but they’ve been fucked with enough that they’re not exactly all there anymore 

has a general disdain for most life forms, but has a soft spot for animals 

will not intentionally harm children or animals most of the time

Likes Knives but isn’t allowed around them on planets

has a very ominous sense of humor that actually meshes p well with phobos’

is actually decently clued in about earth culture, just could not give less of a fuck

[doc-boredom]

Sung and Meouch just being bros for the drabbles

“So I think Sung’s up to something.”

Havve simply keeps staring forward at the screen but Phobos actually has the decency to pause the game on screen before turning his attention to Meouch, an action that causes the robot to throw his hands up in defeat before he’s folding them across his chest and following suit.

“When is he not?” Phobos signs. Meouch’s tail twitches in amusement because yes, it’s true, when isn’t Sung plotting or planning or making shit happen? Still…

“But something about this one is different.” He focuses in on the robot then. “You share a brain with him-” That gets him a creaky head tilt of judgement. “Havve.” More creaks as the robot shakes his head before turning back to the TV. “Fuck you too, man.”

Phobos giggles some at that then before he offers his own helpless shrug. “Why don’t you just ask him?” He signs quickly, already half turning back to the TV. “If Havve isn’t worried, then I’m not, and you shouldn’t be either.”

And that’s that, he guesses.

He sighs as they start up their gods damned stupid racing game again. “Okay, I’m going to be the only good friend in the group I guess.” He takes a few steps backwards but they’re still playing and did they just turn up the volume more? “Yeah alright, cool, I get the hint! Thanks!”

He stops by the kitchen before he goes off towards Sung’s room.

-

He’s got his pylon off and his body arched over his board, fingers pressed into its keys until he can feel the synth up through his arms and in his chest. No, not that… Too deep. He moves them up some and there it is. He tips his head back, sighing in satisfaction before he turns his attention to the music sheet next to him. “Perfect, just per-”

His door is sliding open then and he throws up said sheets into the air in a panic. It’s Meouch staring at him, of course, watching the papers float down to the floor. “Sung.” The Leoian says, brow arched in silent judgement.

“YOU SCARED ME.”

“You didn’t lock the door.”

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOCK, MEOUCH!”

And that’s when the other nails him square in the middle of his forehead with a Fruit By the Foot. “OW! MEOUCH!”

“What the hell are you even doing in here.” Meouch is crouching and Sung throws himself forward, grabbing all the sheets before Meouch can even look, even touch them. “Dude!”

“Secret.” Oh, why did he say that? “...Um, except not. Not a secret at all. It’s uh, public domain, actually. Like those monkey noises they use in Earth movies.”

A pause. Maybe he’s off the hook...

“Then let me see it.”

Nope, nope, nope. He gapes at the other before he hugs the sheets a bit tighter to his chest. “Okay, I lied, it’s a secret.”

“Sung, I’ve seen you play with dolls before.” Meouch’s whiskers twitch some and he can tell the other is caught between laughing and being incredibly pissed off.

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!” Of course his voice chooses to crack right then and there. He scrambles back a few steps and gives Meouch a warning look. “This is a secret, okay? A really big one.”

“So you don’t trust me, is that it?” And despite the way the other is aiming to be casual Sung can feel it. The kernel of doubt, the way that Meouch seems to pull back from him. He swallows some and goes for a laugh.

“No it’s just… it’s a really, really good secret.” He smiles then. “Promise you it’ll be like, totally worth it.”

“Okay man, I trust you.” Meouch looks to the floor then. “Eat your Fruit by the Foot dude, I brought that just for you.”

“I will! Are you doubting my enjoyment of Earth snacks Meouch?”

And when the other laughs, he can relax a bit. “You gotta share, though.”

“What, get your own!”

“It was the last one.”

“Then buy some more!”

“Phobos ate like, five of them.”

“Then tell Phobos to buy more.”

They stare at each other and both burst out laughing. Like that’s going to happen.

-

Finding out what Sung is up to, part two.

He should let it lay, should just let Sung do his thing, but there’s a feline curiosity to him that he can’t ignore. The empath is in the shower and he’s got like, at least 2 whole Daft Punk songs to find the papers the other had been working on. He throws open a few drawers, finding so many different odds and ends (Sung’s insistence on doing everything in his power not to be bored equated to a lot of weird junk, toys, and random objects being scattered around the ship.)

Finally, he finds them under the mattress. “Amateur hour.” The Leoian chuckles to himself, flipping through them. It’s lots of scribbles and random notes and he starts to find the music in it all, the sound of it, skipping around until he finds-

“Dude!”

He turns and Sung is there, towel around his waist and hair still sopping wet over his one eye. Shit. His tail curls close to his body and he can feel his ears lowering some. “Are you fucking serious?”

“I just-”

“I told you it was a secret.” Sung stomps forward then, almost slipping on the floor. Meouch moves to steady him but he’s ripping the sheets away from the other and pulling back.

He flushes under his fur and opens his mouth. “I-It looked good. Like, it’s going to sound great!”

“I don’t even want to do it anymore.” Sung’s saying and there’s a ripping sound in Meouch’s ear that sounds infinite. “Forget it.”

He reaches out to stop the other, to pull the sheets away, but Sung’s still gripping on so tight and he’s nervous and oh.

HIs claws just shred through it all.

They’re left standing there in the confetti of sheet music. Sung’s staring at the floor and Meouch feels sick to his stomach. “Shit, I’m sorry, I freaked out, we can get some tape-!”

“I just… wanted to make a song about my friends. It was gonna be a surprise for you guys, f-for the new album.”

Oh gods, he feels terrible.

He swallows some. “...Sung.” The other still doesn’t look up but he plows on. “If it’s a song about being friends, then shouldn’t we be able to talk about how good of a friend you are too?”

He looks up then and blinks before his own cheeks flush some. “Y-yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Get some clothes on dude. We’re gonna make a song.”

-

So that’s how they end up in the kitchen together over way too much junk food with Sung wearing a turban on his head and Havve using butter knives as drumsticks on the table and the four of them all fucking around for way too long until they finally start to make something amazing.

“What should we call it?” Sung’s finally got the towel off his head and he’s shoving a triple stack of Oreos into his mouth. Havve shrugs and Phobos taps his helmet mouth piece in thought. Meouch stares down at the stained sheet music, their handwriting overlapping one another’s, the stupid little doodles that Sung made of them at the top and he grins.

“...I got it.” He smiles then, all fangs. “Rock N Roll Best Friends.”

And when Sung throws his arms up and yells his name in joy, the last little bit of guilt washes away and he can finally really smile at the other. Sung’s smile softens and he reaches over, gripping Meouch’s shoulder.

“You’re my best friend, dude.” He taps the end of his nose then, causing Meouch to hiss some. “Even when you’re a piece of shit.”

“Same dude.” He pokes Sung back. “Same.”

[trubbull]

La Vie En Camaieu // Chapter 3

[[Read on Archive Of Our Own]]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: F/M Fandoms: Game Grumps, TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band), Starbomb, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom Relationships: Dan Avidan/Original Character(s), Dan Avidan & Original Character(s), Suzy Berhow/Arin Hanson, Brian Wecht/Rachel Bitney Wecht Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Character, Dan Avidan, Arin Hanson, Suzy Berhow, Brian Wecht, Commander Meouch, Doctor Sung, Havve Hogan, Lord Phobos Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colorblindness, Rating May Change

Summary: It seems like all of Dan’s friends can see the world in all its colorful beauty. He’s nearly 40 and he still views in the world in shades of grey.

At a fateful NSP/TWRP/Starbomb concert, everything changes.

**Inspired by iamavacado’s egobang story ‘Love Is Any Color’ and its one-shot 'Even Rainy Days Have Color.’ This has been posted with their permission.**

Chapter 3:  The Color Of Tea

Notes: Though the last chapter spanned like, two years of time, this chapter takes place only a month after the first chapter. Chapter 2 was kind of like a flashback.

It’s hard to explain and I apologize for my absolute lack of timeframing.

To reiterate, this chapter occurs shortly after chapter 1.

The timer beeped quietly, indicating that it was time to end the episode.

“Well, next time on Game Grumps, we’ll have gotten back to where Arin was before he died.”

“Man, no, we don’t have to… I can get back there in just a minute, we don’t have to fast-forward to it.”

“If you say so, man. It sure doesn’t look that easy, seeing as you’ve died two more times just trying to get back.”

“Well that’s because I show up and… And I suck.”

Arin leaned forward from his seat on the couch, tilting the mic stand out of his way so that he could reach the time-table notepad and scrawl the times down for Barry when he begins editing the footage later. There was about 10 episodes in this session, meaning he and Dan had been playing for about three hours.

During the session, Dan had been uncharacteristically quiet. Arin could tell, just by looking at Dan, that he was tired. He must not be sleeping well lately. Every time Arin finishes a recording session with any of the others, he finds Dan dead-asleep in the beanbag chair in the office.

He’s been like this for a little over a month now. Every time Arin tried to get Dan to talk about it, Dan wouldn’t budge, and it admittedly scared Arin. Had something happened and Dan just couldn’t move past it? Had he done something to upset his best friend? That wouldn’t really explain why Dan was acting like this towards everyone, though… And despite how he was behaving lately, he still radiated love and affection for everyone, including Arin.

So… What had him so depressed lately? Arin knew Dan had struggled with depression when he was younger, but he claimed to have a hold on all of that, especially since getting involved in Game Grumps. In fact, Arin couldn’t really remember seeing Dan depressed in all the years they’d known eachother. Dan testified the last time he had a bad bout of depression had been when he left the Northern Hues, when his last serious girlfriend left him after finding her soulmate.

Soulmates. Arin seemed to put the pieces together— Dan had been acting like this ever since he talked to Dan about the gifts he got for Suzy.

“Danny?” Arin asked gently. Dan was staring at the floor with this disconnected intensity, and Arin was afraid of spooking him.

Dan blinked, and looked up at Arin, offering a slight smile. “You never call me Danny.”

“Yeah, I know.” He returned the smile, hesitating to continue, “I’m, worried about you, man.”

Dan’s smile disappeared, and his expression returned to what it looked like most of the time these days, indifferent.

“Are you sure we should be going on tour if you’re feeling like this?” Arin reached over and placed his hand on Dan’s knee, squeezing his best friend’s leg lightly.

“Well, it’s kind of too late to cancel the tour now.” Dan said, a bit curtly. It was enough to cause Arin to pull away, which made Dan sigh.

“I’m fine, Arin. If anything, the tour will help. I think maybe I’m just in a funk because I haven’t been on stage in a while. All this work on Ladyworld with the Twerp guys, and on Under The Covers Two. I mean, I love every second of it, like, I can’t thank the stars enough for how lucky I am to be doing what I love. Just, singing in a booth, alone, and singing on stage to a crowd of thousands, screaming, is so different. Going on tour always makes me appreciate how far I’ve come. Makes it feel so much more real. It’ll give me the pick-me-up I need.”

Arin nodded slowly, though the issue that Arin knew was bugging Dan to begin with was still being avoided. He wouldn’t push, however.

“You should get home and get some sleep, dude. You look seriously tired. I can’t remember the last time I saw bags under your eyes.”

Dan’s brows rose up. Was it really that obvious he hadn’t been sleeping well? He reached up and rubbed at his eyes, until he could see flashes of light in the darkness. “Yeah, alright.”

“You know, Suzy brought some of that sleepytime tea up here yesterday, if you think it might help—“

“I’ve got some at home, I just haven’t… Just haven’t felt like bothering with it. I will tonight, though. I’m… Sorry, man. That you’re seeing me like this.” Dan said this quickly, not wanting to get too emotional and break down in front of his best friend. He was more embarrassed than anything. If Arin was concerned, surely everyone else was, too, and he didn’t like people feeling sorry for him. It really bothered him.

“Dude, it’s alright, man, you just do you, okay? Do you want the day off tomorrow?”

“No, I’m fine to work. I’ll get some sleep tonight, you’ll see, I’ll be fine.”

Dan did as he promised. When he returned home to his empty and quiet house, he made himself the hot, sleep-inducing tea, and settled into his bed. He watched The Last Unicorn, for the fourth time that week. It was only Thursday. Come Sunday, he, Arin, and Brian would be shipping off to their first concert of the tour, in Washington. After that, it would be a whirlwind of plane and bus trips across the country for the next two months.

This was going to be the biggest break of his music career. On stage, not only as Ninja Sex Party, but also as Starbomb, and alongside TWRP. Some of the venues they had booked were double, even triple, the size of venues he’d performed at in the past. Every show for the first month was already sold out, and the second half of the tour was nearly sold out as well. It was stressful to think about, but also incredibly exciting.

While he felt excited, it just didn’t seem to translate well, and this surprised even himself. It was as if his body and his emotions were not on the same wavelength anymore. He just couldn’t very well express how he was feeling, and it was scary because he hadn’t struggled in this way in over fifteen years.

He could hear the movie playing, but right now that was all the attention he was giving it. It served as familiar, grounding background noise while he battled with himself. His head dropped slightly, and he looked into the warm mug in his hands. It was a large mug that Barry had bought for him when they still roomed together. Dan complained about how small regularly sized mugs were. This mug, Dan could place both of his hands on and his fingers wouldn’t overlap.

It smelled pepperminty, and that alone made Dan a little sleepier than he had been for the last couple weeks. However, that didn’t keep a dangerous train of thought from rearing its ugly head.

What color was tea?

He knew water was colorless, was clear, like glass. So what color did it become when the tea leaves were allowed to diffuse in the hot water? What about adding sugar caused the color to lighten or darken, depending on the tea? What color was this mug, a thoughtful gift from a dear friend?

This was a rabbithole Dan didn’t need to be going down at 11 o’clock on a Thursday night. He needed to go to sleep.

Despite the gentle nagging of rationality, the train of thought continued.

As happy and as fortunate as Dan was about his place in life—Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party, Starbomb—what was the point of any of it if he was to spend his life and fortune alone?

That question stopped Dan’s thoughts in its tracks, as some failsafe part of his brain must have kicked in, because all of the thoughts stopped at once. He wasn’t thinking about anything now. His eyes drifted back to the movie on the screen of his laptop, and he was distantly surprised to find it was halfway over. He sipped his tea mindlessly, until his mug was empty, and his eyelids felt ten times heavier than they had before.

He curled up on his side, leaving his laptop open, allowing the movie to continue to play. It would turn off on its own after a while. Dan drifted to sleep, thankful for the brief peace he had found. Unfortunately, his dreams were unkind.

Sunday came quickly. Dan had done his best for the remainder of the week to try and look less hampered down, but Arin and Brian knew that Dan was still keeping something from them. He just wasn’t the same Dan he usually was. However, he was improving. After their plane landed in Washington, the excitement seemed to finally be sinking in, and Dan was becoming more and more smiley and goofy. This was especially prominent when the three men met up with the TWRP guys. Being surrounded on all sides by his musical counterparts and inspirations seemed to finally bring Dan back to 99%.

It was only during the moments where Dan was tired and exhausted from fits of giggles, from a long day of hitting the city and enjoying the sights, after the concert had ended and Dan was back in his plainclothes, that even a hint of sadness shone. Arin watched from afar with concern, because any time he tried to address the problem, Dan would spring back to his normal self, as if nothing was bothering him at all.

After a couple of days, Arin was beginning to believe that maybe this was just how it would be from now on.

Every concert was a thrill. Dan had been right when he told Arin that singing in the studio and singing on stage were so different. And not just in the technical sense, but in the spiritual sense, though Dan didn’t really consider himself a spiritual guy. Singing on stage, lyrics and chords floating over the intense, rhythmic hum of heartbeats and breathing of the crowd, the screams and hollers, the applause, the tears, there was nothing that made Dan’s dreams feel more fulfilled. Every one of these attendees were living, breathing fans. They had jobs, they had their own dreams, they had love in their hearts that pumped blood through their veins, and they each shared something in common with Dan; They loved his music, and they were passionate about him, about his dream. They made his dreams come true and, for some of them, Dan was making theirs come true, too.

Dan felt his most grateful immediately after a concert had ended. At the end of every show, he took a moment to address the crowd, and express how important it was to him that every one of his fans love unconditionally, forgive without boundaries, and follow their dreams. He often shed tears once he walked off stage, as he could still hear the cries of his fans behind him. He wished there was enough time in the world so that he could speak to every one of them individually and encourage them to do everything with kindness and to do what they were passionate about. He knew that if even one person followed his advice, that the world would be a better place for it.

It was the last day of November when the crew boarded a Virgin plane to Dallas, Texas. It was already quite late, the sky pitch black. It would be December by the time they landed, in just a few hours. In two more days, they’d be doing their first of three shows in Texas, the first being in the heart Dallas.

Dan was sitting in the aisle seat, which was necessary for him. He couldn’t stand sitting in the window seat. He’d been on enough plane rides by now that flying didn’t scare him, but it still made him nauseated, and sitting near the window only made that worse. Besides, Arin always called dibs on the window seat, enjoying having a wall to lean on and fall asleep.

This placed Brian in the center seat, reading a book before he, too, would probably sleep. Arin was already dead asleep once the plane was in the air. Normally, Dan would be as well, but for whatever reason, he was wide awake.

Too stingy to pay for the plane’s wi-fi, Dan would busy himself with the Virgin’s individual televisions. They had little games on them and movies you could watch, but nothing really interested Dan. After exhausting all of his other options, he looked at Brian and the book he was reading. Something nerdy, by the looks of the formulas and words that were too long and complicated to be legal.

Brian noticed Dan being nosy, so he set the book down, and removed his glasses in order to look at his friend. “You’ve been preoccupied lately.” He stated, plainly.

Dan sighed, chuckling a little. “Nothing ever gets past you, does it, Brian? That’s why you’re the Ninja and I’m the Sexbang.” He said this quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone else on the plane. From the looks of it, most everyone was either asleep or on their way there.

Brian hummed in agreement with Dan, then continued, “I won’t push you to talk about it, but I want you to know that we’re all concerned about you. Especially Arin. Even the Twerp guys can see it.”

Dan exhaled from his nose for a while, and rubbed his temples. He could talk to Brian about this, Brian was older than Arin, older than the Twerp guys. Brian was even older than him, and other than his own parents, Dan wasn’t close to anyone else who was older than him.

“I’ve just… Been thinking about my life, and how… You know… I’m almost forty, and I haven’t…” He didn’t want to say it out loud, as if everyone on the plane would wake up and stare at him in shock. He was tired of the shocked looks he got. He was tired of the pity.

Brian knew this, so he forced his expression to remain neutral, forced back any feelings of sympathy he had. “There’s still time, Dan. Very few people are one-sided. It’s usually a hereditary thing, anyway, and your parents were absolutely not one-sided.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dan smiled just a little as he recalled being young, listening to his mother retell the story of how she and his father had met. There had been an immense language barrier, as his father had just arrived in America. They had run into each other on the metro in New York, andt he connection was strong enough that they made it work, and bore two beautiful children together.

Brian pat Dan’s knee, “The best thing you can do is keep your head up. That sounds corny, but it’s true. You’re never going to see them if you keep looking at your shoes. If I hadn’t happened to look up that one day, I wouldn’t have met Rachel. Arin wouldn’t have met Suzy. No one would meet anyone if we all just felt sorry for ourselves and lived with our chins glued to our sternums.”

Dan nodded as he listened. He knew this, but he also knew that he was guilty of behaving that way lately. “Yeah, you’re right, Bri. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m gonna try to sleep now, alright?”

“Yeah, so am I.” Brian nodded, tucking the book into his carry-on bag for the time being.

Dan shifted so that his shorter, older companion could rest his head on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan propped his own head on Brian’s. They were used to this arrangement, and it didn’t take long for Dan to fall asleep, comforted by the presence and support of his dear friend.