#you have to see my old evil sung post to see what I mean

[suave-hogan]

revives evil sung with no context and a new look

[flowers-of-io]

Tithe (to) me baby one more time

This post is my personal attempt to understand Season of the Witch, and potentially defend my hypothesis that at its core it doesn't make sense. I may yet change my opinion on this as I write and research, because here at flowers of io dot tumblr dot com we do real science and do not let ourselves be blinded by prior assumptions, prejudice, and bitterness. Maybe there is yet something there that I don't see.

Disclaimer: This essay is nearly 4k words long and has not been beta read, so any typos, tangents and formatting issues you may find here are my fault only and I preemptively apologise for them. Please tell me if anything is unclear or worded weirdly! I haven’t written a longer lore analysis in a good while and I may have got a little rusty.

With that out of the way, let's take a look at how Hive tithes, tributes, and willpower actually work!

1) Anthem Anatheme

Over three years ago in this post I wrote a bit about anthem anatheme, which is the way both worms and ahamkara feed. I did not explain it well, though (and I was being very comically exasperated over Truth to Power), so let me try again.

From the Merriam-Webster:

First appearing in Old English in the form antefn, anthem derives ultimately from Greek antiphōnos—a word meaning "responsive" that is a combination of anti-, meaning "over" or "against," and phōnē, "sound" or "voice." The Greek root gives a hint as to what the musical form of early anthems was like. Originally, anthems were devotional verses sung as a response during a religious service.

French anathème and English anathema is the formal exclusion from the community of Christians (in the New Testament) or the Catholic Church (in contemporary canon law). The original meaning of the word was a little different, though. I'll quote the Wikipedia article because I don't think I'd be able to word it better than it is explained there:

The word anathema has two main meanings. One is to describe that something or someone is being hated or avoided. The other refers to a formal excommunication by a church. These meanings come from the New Testament, where an Anathema was a person or thing cursed or condemned by God. In the Old Testament, an Anathema was something or someone dedicated to God as a sacrifice, or cursed and separated from God because of sin. These represent two types of settings, one for devotion, the other for destruction.

Anathema derives from Ancient Greek: ἀνάθεμα, anáthema, meaning "an offering" or "anything dedicated", itself derived from the verb ἀνατίθημι, anatíthēmi, meaning "to offer up". In the Old Testament, חֵרֶם (chērem) referred to both objects consecrated to divine use and those dedicated to destruction in the Lord's name, such as enemies and their weapons during religious wars. Since weapons of the enemy were considered unholy, the meaning became "anything dedicated to evil" or "a curse".

Combining these two meanings would give us something like ‘a hymn of offering’, the ‘offering’ part having a derogatory ring to it.

In the most recent Destiny loretab on the topic (Queensfoil Censer) Anthem Anatheme is explained as "a manner of subjecting reality to one's will, similar to a Lightbearer's ability to affect paracausality", and this is in line with the prior, much more vague definitions that we've had. It is both the invocation and the act of changing reality to match your will. It does have a similar vibe to aiat, which I wrote about here: "Ahamkara drive power from the space between ‘what-is’ and ‘what-is-desired’. Stating ‘aiat’ creates this connection between ‘what-is’, ‘why-it-is’ and the space in between: ‘why-it-is-?’."

It is also what worms and ahamkara feed on. The reason ahamkara "tweak" the wishes they grant is precisely to widen that gap between how the universe was before the wish and how it will be after it - the impact it will make on the universe - how much it will change.

2) Tithe to Power

Worms feed in the same way, except they are not the ones invoking Anthem Anatheme, and instead it is their hosts who do that. Contrary to the popular belief, worms do not feed on *killing*, per say--but killing is one of, if not the most efficient way of reshaping universe according to your will. Toland says: "This is the shape of victory: to rule the universe so absolutely that nothing will ever exist except by your consent".

The worms sort of... cede the ability(?) to invoke Anthem Anatheme to their hosts, and so also it is the host who gains power from that — the worm feeds, yes, but there is also something else there, something I don't quite understand but it's tied to the Darkness, Ascendant Plane, and Taking. The power that allows you to will things into existence, to define and dictate the rules. "Nothing will ever exist except by your consent".

Ergo: the more powerful—or rather... impactful, or influential—entity you kill, the bigger is the space of their absence; the more sustenance the worm gets, and the more power you gain �� because you've asserted your will over them, you did not permit them to exist. As Toland explains: "Oryx inhabits a world where power is truth. To win is to be noble, and to be real. [...] The echoes of Oryx go forth to ask a question: are you the truth?"

So what I will be referring to in this essay as power is the total sum of your impact on the universe, which (thanks to your worm's paracausal abilities) gives you paracausal abilities. Willpower given shape, sort of. That is the foundation the entire Hive system is built on: magic, runes, philosophy, everything.

Now, I used to think tribute and tithe were two different things, but they are apparently used interchangeably in the lore: "The Worm within demands tribute. Now you shall kill what you can and take what killing you need to grow—or for your own purposes, if you dare—and tithe the rest to that which rules you. Thus, tribute will ascend the chain and the excess shall pool at the height, as unlike a river to an ocean" (Truth to Power: Injection). This entry is supposed to quote Oryx in the Books of Sorrow, but it doesn't repeat the words exactly, and omits something very interesting (and confusing). In Carved in Ruin, where Oryx dictates his law, he actually says: "You Thrall, each of you will claw and scream, and kill what you can. Take enough killing to feed your worm, and a little more to grow. Tithe the rest to the Acolyte who commands you."

"Take enough killing to feed your worm, and a little more to grow" seems to suggest the Hive-host and the worm feed on the same thing, or at least that the same thing that the worms feed on is what allows the Hive to grow. The whole shtick with the worm pact was supposed to give the Krill power over their own flesh and the world around them, so we can presume they grow physically as they attain more (will)power - to will their form to change. The lore about it is very vaguely worded though, and a lot of this is my own interpretation, so don't take it as indubitably true.

What I want to make extremely clear, though, is that neither tribute/tithe nor (will)power is a physical thing. Of course the power you have can manifest as paracausal abilities, but it's like with hitting something really hard with your fist - the stronger you are, the more impact you will have on what you're hitting, and the effects are very tangible, but your physical strength itself is not an, I don't know, physical object. It's the potential energy in your muscles I'm struggling to word it better, but I hope you understand the metaphor. The more you affect the world, the stronger your paracausal muscles get, so to say.

The way I understand the logic behind tithing, then, is that in the Hive pyramid scheme you transfer some of your power to your direct commander because they have power over you. Your will is subservient to the one above you, so they demand a cut of its potential growth. It's a way to organise the Hive society, really, because without this system in place everyone would be mindlessly killing each other to survive, while now the ones in command have an incentive not to slaughter all their soldiers if those soldiers are a source of power. It's delicate calculation - is it more beneficial for me to kill my underling and gain the entirety of their power in a single slurp, or allow them to live and transfer to you a percentage of their own power gain? How risky is it to leave them alive, in case they get too powerful and strike against you? But then again - the more power they gain, the bigger the percentage that you get. Is it worth to kill them now, or wait for them to get more powerful, so you can then gobble up a larger meal? It's like fattening a pig but the fatter it gets the more it is able (and willing) to kill you. At which point does the risk outweigh the potential future gain?

2.1) Nature

This part of Hive gods lore also ties into the way aiat works, and the whole thing with definitions and essences that I wrote about in that essay, so I won't go into this right now. What is essential to remember for the purpose of this post is that the Hive gods emulate their natures, or are their natures, and by invoking those natures they can be fed power, summoned into a given place, and even brought back from beyond the grave. I’ll just put a few lore quotes that sort of explain this concept, or at least illustrate it. It will be important later.

You must obey your nature forever. In your immortality, Aurash, you may never cease to explore and inquire, for the sake of your children. In your immortality, Xi Ro, you may never cease to test your strength. In your immortality, Sathona, you may never abandon cunning. (IX: The Bargain)

.

Oryx made war on the Ecumene for a hundred years. At the end of those hundred years he killed the Ecumene Council on the Fractal Wreath, and from their blood rose Xivu Arath, saying, “I am war, and you have conjured me back with war.” […] He drove the Dakaua Nest into a trap, and they were made extinct. From their ashes rose cunning Savathûn, saying, “I am trickery, and you have conjured me back with trickery.” (XXIX: Carved in Ruin)

.

In each act of His power Oryx seeks to incarnate the self-sustaining, immortal suzerainty that He worships. The power that He uses to wash his Taken clean and etch them into useful shapes. (Echo of Oryx)

.

He is not a simple thing to kill. He wants to be isomorphic to conquest, to triumph, to killing and death.** He is a syllogism, now, but in time He hopes to become an axiom. (Oryx: Rebuked)

.

[Xivu Arath, hear me.]

[You are war, and I conjure you with war and blood.]

[A gift for my favorite sister.]

(Empress: CHAPTER 5: NEW GODS)

.

MY HOME IS WAR. MY VOICE IS A BATTLE SONG. FOR AS LONG AS YOU HAVE WORSHIPPED WAR, YOU HAVE WORSHIPPED ME. I AM HERE TO CLAIM MY TRIBUTE. IT IS OVERDUE. (Empress: CHAPTER 6: BATTLE SONG)

3) Season of the Witch

So now let's talk about the premise of Season of the Witch.

We don't know what Savathûn's plan was exactly; we didn't get a scene of Immaru dictating it to Eris or Ikora, only scraps of it mentioned by various characters. But the gist of it, pretty much, was this: Eris plugs herself into the tithing system through the ritual in the first cutscene, and we - using the Acolyte's Staff, which contains worms - transfer the power we generate through killing to her. I say generate because I'm not sure we would've been able to actually use that power (for example, to create a throne world) if we're not connected to the system, but then again Hiraks had done it somehow, so idk.

Another thing, which I hadn't caught while playing the season, but either @winnower-winnower or @the-goldendragon pointed it out to me when we were talking about this, is Eris' nature as the god of vengeance. Every act of violence done in revenge against the Hive and/or the Witness, either by her hand or ours, should technically give her additional power.

So what was the goal of all of this?

Well, apparently the whole point of Eris becoming a Hive god and plugging into the tithing system was that she could become more powerful than Xivu Arath and beat her at her own game. And how would she get all that power? Why, by killing, of course! That's the sword logic, right? Nothing is permitted to exist except by your consent. That's power. And Eris already has so much power, as the hand wielding the blade which ended both Crota and Oryx, and possibly Nokris, and Hashladûn, and Alak-Hul, and countless other Hive. She did not perform these feats alone, granted (something that very cool sword logic cutscene seems to have forgotten), but she was the inciter, guide, and main motivator for them.

And this is all true, except for the one small detail which is exactly the reason why Xivu is (used to be?) such a compelling antagonist: this is not how you beat her at her own game.

3.1) Xivu and War

Remember imbaru? Remember how Savathûn made an entire power-generating scheme based around the idea that she, the god of cunning, cannot be outsmarted or outwitted, and every wrong guess about her would only feed her power? It was conveniently forgotten for the duration of The Witch Queen, an investigation-based campaign, but it HAD BEEN a thing.

And Xivu Arath had done her homework, and copied this idea. If she is war, then every act of war will invoke her and so give her power.

I AM THE WAR YOU CRAVE. PURPOSE ETERNAL. A LEGACY IN BLOOD. WHEN YOU DRAW BLADES, YOU DRAW ME. YOU CANNOT RESIST WITHOUT INVOKING MY BANNER. (Immolant Pt. 2)

And earlier seasons remembered this! The whole reason why Rasputin sacrificed himself was because Mara had enlightened everybody on the idea that Xivu would've gained power from any act of war and slaughter, regardless if it'd been against ours or her own soldiers. She'd set herself up to be struck against, and it would've been a power factory for her. Rasputin had no other choice than to fold and disable the weapons entirely. That was his sacrifice, that was what set him apart from the god of war in the end.

Season of the Deep had some insight on that too:

Zavala: Rasputin proved we can't beat Xivu Arath in direct conflict, but..

Sloane: Zavala, I tried every which way to fight her when Titan went dark. I never managed to put a dent in her plans. Just survive.

Zavala: So it is truly it. [sighs] And all that's left is for us to accept it.

(Deep Dives, Week Six)

And my absolute favourite:

Sloane: This report is interesting. Xivu Arath intended to use Rasputin's Warsat network as an unwinning scenario. We fire the Warsats on her army, she gains power through death. She fires the Warsats on the City, everyone dies. We only achieved victory through defeat. Through a... moment of sacrifice. It makes me wonder about our approach to defeating her.

Lord Saladin: Winning without fighting. Philosophers of war have contemplated this very thing, both in our culture and, as I've learned, those beyond Earth.

Sloane: How do you defeat the undefeatable? That's an interesting problem.

(Salvage, Week Three)

...But then we got Season of the Witch, and it turned out the way to defeat the undefeatable is simply to hit it harder.

Okay, but why shouldn't it work? I've said before Eris was extremely powerful by herself, and with the plan to boost her with our tithes, she'd be even more beefed up on sword logic. Why couldn't she hit Xivu Arath harder?

Well, for the simple reason that Xivu gets power from war--all war, or at least all war against herself. Even disregarding the sheer disparity in power at the start, the billions of years of tithes that Xivu was ahead of Eris, this idea was doomed at the start, because for every ounce of killing-power we passed over to Eris, Xivu got the same amount of tribute. We were making war on her, for Eir's sake, what else were we expecting?

Same goes for the idea that we cut off the tribute Xivu was getting from her powerful lieutenants like Ir Uulxal and took it for ourselves/Eris. Yeah, that's probable, but at the same time we were powering Xivu up by making war on her. That had been the whole point of her as an undefeatable antagonist.

I've heard people argue that what we were doing in Witch wasn't direct violence against Xivu, so it didn't count as war. And to those people I say that hybrid warfare is a thing. Seriously, my country neighbours both Russia and Belarus, and I don't want go on an IRL tangent but claiming the only act that count as war is the direct clashing of blades is some extremely medieval thinking. It's like saying the Cold War wasn't a war. Planning, plotting and strategising how to destroy an enemy absolutely is war, gathering power in order to destroy the enemy is war, trying to outmaneouver and outplay the enemy tactically is war. If the point is aggression or counteraggression, if there is An Enemy, it is war.

I'm willing to accept Eris got some amount of power from Xivu invoking her nature of vengeance in her acts of war against us, but still, it would be ridiculous to believe that would've been enough to match and surpass the might of Xivu herself. I'm sorry, it's simply unrealistic. In her acts of vengeance Xivu did not alter the universe in any meaningful way, she just threw a few beefed up Taken at us and that was it. If she'd, idk, kicked Venus into the Sun in her vengeful rage, then maybe we could've talked about Eris gaining a substantial boost of tribute, but as things stand there was barely anything to go by.

3.2) Savathûn and Death

Alright, but what about that extremely sexy assassination of Savathûn that Eris performed after the final mission? The game said that this was the source for the missing chunk of power Eris needed to defeat Xivu! Savathûn had been super powerful, right? Why wouldn't that be enough?

There are two problems here, and let's tackle the smaller one first. We don't really know how powerful Savathûn was after she had been raised as a Lightbearer, exactly. The tactical obliviousness of the entirety of Witch Queen to imbaru suggests post-rez Sav is no longer in the tithe system and cannot gain power through the Hive magic means because she doesn't have a worm anymore. That doesn't mind she isn't powerful, and that by deposing her one wouldn't make an enormous change in the universe, but we don't know if she can get more powerful anymore. SotWitch reintroduced the imbaru engine, but doesn't elaborate on what it even does now that Sav doesn't have a worm, or how it works.

And now the bigger problem: Eris did not claim Savathûn's power when she killed her.

This whole system is based on Anthem Anatheme, remember? Making ripples in the universe. Creating spaces between what-is and what-is-wanted. What Toland says after we kill Ascendant Oryx puts it well:

Dwell a moment on the weight of what you’ve done. Contemplate the story you just ended. Will you ever do anything that screams down the millennia? Will you ever hammer your will on the universe until it rings and rings and rings? Oryx was an awesome power. Show reverence. (Oryx: Defeated)

There is a reason why the Grimoire card unlocked by killing Oryx in Regicide is called "Oryx: Rebuked", and the one we get after killing him in King's Fall is "Oryx: Defeated". We did not defeat him in Regicide. We put a dent in his plans, sure, we weakened him, but we did not kill him. That's the point of Ascendance, of throne world and oversouls and other means of hiding death: they make you harder to kill permanently.

Ghosts are funny, because they serve pretty much the same purpose. They hide their Guardians' death. The Guardian isn't dead as long as their Ghost lives. That's our conditional immortality - we depend on our Ghosts just as Ascendant Hive depend on their throne worlds.

Death doesn't stick unless it's permanent and irreversible. I'll even risk the claim that the power Mara generated (and would've assumed, has she been in the tithing system) by indirectly causing Savathûn's death—immense power—was removed from her tally, so to say, in the moment of either Savathûn's resurrection, or when she got her memories back and decided she was still herself and not a new person with a clean record.

Eris couldn't have claimed Savathûn's power for herself without killing Immaru, just as she couldn't have taken the power generated by Oryx's death if he'd been killed in the physical world only. This wasn't an "interesting sword logic stunt", this was a suspension of logic priory established in-universe and it infuriates me to the point of pulling out hair. There is no way this can work. If it DID work, Ascendant Hive would've created power batteries for themselves by killing each other in the physical world and coming back to life as if nothing had happened eons ago. The Books of Sorrow go out of their way to point out that Savathûn and Xivu's deaths in star by star by star were "true deaths" and that's why Auryx was able to claim his sisters' power.

This is either a lazy retcon serving to nerf a character too powerful for the narrative to handle, or the writers not understanding how their own universe works. It's infuriating, it's stupid, and it does Xivu Arath so dirty I struggle to find words for it. It strips her of the most compelling part of her as an antagonist. And down at its core, it's a lack of creative courage. Did her undefeatability make Xivu Arath an extremely difficult antagonist to handle? Of course!! But when you write characters like that, you should be brave about it. You should commit. And as things stand now, it appears the creators had been challenged by their own story and instead of picking up a fight they backed out and changed the rules. They were been defeated by their own creation. Which is, of course, a note of praise to how good the creation was, but in the end it leads to a sad conclusion. Bungie can no longer handle the story they're telling; and whether that is because of the seasonal model, or the speed at which they've forced themselves to update at, or a lack of communication in the writing team, or any other reason, I sincerely don't care. The result remains the same either way.

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

I posted 3,545 times in 2022

That's 1,053 more posts than 2021!

354 posts created (10%)

3,191 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thatpunnyperson

@sincerelylittleone

@whobee7

@floralflowerpower

@thelockenessmonster

I tagged 1,176 of my posts in 2022

#personal - 155 posts

#laugh rule - 104 posts

#pjo - 27 posts

#ruby's moving woes - 26 posts

#batman - 17 posts

#danny phantom - 16 posts

#flipping legacies - 16 posts

#'swearing' - 14 posts

#storytime - 12 posts

#jason todd - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#you know in the very beginning of the pandemic there were people going around with pool noodles attached to their heads to enforce the six f

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So I now live in a place where putting cream on my skin is not only normal but expected, because fuck desert climates, but sometimes i cannot STAND the texture. My skin is now telling me ''im itchy i need cream'' but i also know that as soon as I touch cream my entire skin entity will crawl right off my frame and escape into the night.

Thank you, texture issues. You make life interesting, if nothing else.

94 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#4

We all know that Batman used to laugh during Jason's era as Robin, but I think that at least the first month or so that laughter was mostly a, "what the fuck is up with this kid" kind of laughter. Like Jason is so astonishingly different from Dick as Robin (Dick: *wants to kill someone so bad he's got a severe case of Stupid and Bruce just wants him to Sit and Stay* Jason: "Robin gives me magic!!!" 🤩) that Bruce just has like No coping mechanisms for Jason lmao. The first three weeks is Bruce just going, "what the fuck? Dick didn't do that. what do you mean I'm not going to have to nag him about homework. Oh my god this teenager thinks that--yuuuup, those are rocket propelled rollerskates. Oh look, the inevitable crash." I'd be wtf laughing too if i went from 2008 MCR emo child to ray of sunshine, introduced by way of incredible ballsiness followed immediately by half assed violence and stray-cat-esque coaxing from Bruce. I'd think I was in a fever dream ngl.

143 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

Rewatching Phineas and Ferb has honestly just highlighted how much of a good guy Jeremy is. He adores Candace no matter how weird he clearly thinks she is, thinks her brothers are cool even while she's desperately trying to bust them, and, whenever she has spent the entire episode trying to be there with Jeremy until she can't STAND it any longer and goes haring off after the boys, he's just chilling in the dust and saying, "that's my girl."

172 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

Phineas and Ferb astounds me with how funny it continues to be. We've estblished Linda Flynn-Fletcher as the old pop star Lindonna, and then she likes to play jazz with two other women in the neighborhood. Imagine if Nina Sky (one hit wonder of the 2000s: Move Ya Body) had a quiet jazz trio in the middle of the suburbs of this city and dropped an album and you're just like, ah, yes, soothing jazz by Nina Sky.

And track three is a hard rock song with the lead male singer ranting to Nina about how evil their siblings are and all the rest of the tracks are back to soothing jazz. You flip over the CD case to read the back.

3. E. V. I. L. B. O. Y. S. Sung by Nina Sky's daughter. Music by Nina Sky's jazz trio.

I think that I'd be simultaneously laughing myself sick and also extremely confused.

323 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think people need to tell more kids that they're proud of them for graduating high school. I'm absolutely dead serious, especially now. I can see the graduating high schoolers surrounding me right now are burned out and traumatized and depressed, and they've undoubtedly had a much, much harder time in high school than I ever had, and I had some pretty shitty high school experiences.

I graduated high school with no more acknowledgement than the standard "congrats on surviving another year of school!" And immediately followed by "have you finished all your scholarship applications?" That was fine for me. I knew i wanted to go to college, I was set and ready for it, eager to get out of high school into more challenging courses.

But if I just finished high school after two years of fighting through online courses and no one acknowledged the battles I went through? If I was as burnt out and traumatized as these kids are right now? I'd have never have gone to college.

So for everyone graduating high school, even if you barely scraped by passing: I see you. I'm proud of you. You did such a good job. I wish you success in what you try to do, fortune enough to keep you safe and happy, and health always.

46,794 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[a-duck-with-a-book]

REVIEW // Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

★★★★★

Before I get into my rant, here is my very quick review where I parrot what everyone else has been saying:

Beautifully written, Bone Gap is a refreshingly different YA novel with a hypnotizing narrative and fascinating characters. I loved seeing their stories revealed amidst the magical realism of the story. Bone Gap itself was a fantastic setting that functioned almost as an extra character.

TL;DR -> read this book!

I've talked before about how much I enjoy many of the retellings in YA in a previous review, and this book once again shows why this trend deserves more academic attention. For anyone who isn't aware (which I certainly wasn't until I got about 60% of the way through the book... oops), Bone Gap draws from the story of Hades and Persephone. The myth of how the goddess of spring came to be in the Underworld has been a popular story for millennia, and in the past few decades it has (rightfully) faced some not-so-favorable scrutiny.

// image: official cover art Melissa Castrillon //

Largely, complaints stem from the kidnapping and r*pe of Persephone in most classical versions of the tale:

"He was riding on a chariot drawn by immortal horses. The son of Kronos. The one known by many names. / He seized her against her will, put her on his golden chariot, / And drove away as she wept. She cried with a piercing voice, / calling upon her father [Zeus], the son of Kronos, the highest and the best."

Homeric Hymn to Demeter, translated by Gregory Nagy

As I mentioned in my Circe review, the "retelling" of older myths and folk tales is by no means new-rather, humans have been adapting the stories each generation was raised with to suit their new needs and values. Stories meant to teach young girls how to prepare to become dutiful and doting wives in arranged marriages to ugly, older, and perhaps violent husbands (think the traditional versions of Beauty and the Beast) become tales of headstrong women who want more for themselves and *gasp* know how to read! See this description of Belle from the 18th century version by Jeanne Marie Leprince de Beautmont, then compare it with the "misfit", not-like-other girls bookworm of the Disney movies:

"When they came to their country house, the merchant and his three sons applied themselves to husbandry and tillage; and Beauty rose at four in the morning, and made haste to have the house clean, and dinner ready for the family. In the beginning she found it very difficult, for she had not been used to work as a servant, but in less than two months she grew stronger and healthier than ever. After she had done her work, she read, played on the harpsichord, or else sung whilst she spun.

Beauty and the Beast, by Marie Leprince de Beautmont

The Hades and Persephone myth has similarly gone through the 21st century transformation, but, interestingly, by way of two very different paths-"Good Hades" and "Bad Hades". "Good Hades" makes the god of the Underworld a sort of feminist character who, in a way, rescues Persephone from the misogynist world of Olympus and mankind, allowing her to blossom (as it were) in his realm. He is respectful of her body and frequently asks for her consent. Hyperaware of the history of the pair's relationship, authors will often beat the reader over the head with the "see! he's asking for consent!" element, which I'm not one to complain about. Rachel Alexander uses the "Good Hades" approach in her Hades and Persephone series (which I highly recommend). While the "Good Hades" stories make him into a misunderstood, kind, and respectful love interest who we are meant to want to end up with Persephone, the "Bad Hades" ones take his persona in an entirely different direction. "Bad Hades" is conniving, evil, and almost always described in ways that disgust the reader: corpse-like, cold, oily. He is a villain who Persephone must escape from, a foe with no regard for her bodily autonomy and twisted views of love and authority. This is the path that Bone Gap takes:

“Don’t worry. I won’t touch you until you want me to,” he said, as if he should be congratulated for such scruples."

The trait that both of these trends share is that Persephone becomes an independent, active participant rather than a pawn in the game played by Zeus, Demeter, and Hades. She often takes charge of her fate, sometimes outmanoeuvring Hades or even developing powers that outmatch those of the other gods. While Ruby's Bone Gap and Alexander's Hades & Persephone series take opposite approaches in their interpretation of Hades, both give Persephone similar authority and liberation. Ruby's Persephone (SPOILER) maims her own face in order to force Hades to let her and Finn go (END SPOILER) while Alexander's is revealed to be (SPOILER) the "true" ruler of the Underworld and has powers over Tartarus that even Hades is intimidated by. (END SPOILER) The myth of Hades and Persephone can be a controversial one to approach-some readers won't even pick up a story if it is such a retelling simply out of principle. I've seen quite a few posts floating around which condemn every Hades and Persephone retelling, especially those with the "Good Hades" storyline, and I stringently disagree. Many of the myths, fairy tales, and oral histories we rewrite have problematic pasts that reflect the standards of the cultures they were told within. Modern retellings can further mold those same frameworks into new tales that instead show us our current standards. Bone Gap is such a beautiful and well-written rendition of the modern retellings trend, and I will just keep hoping that academic circles will start paying attention to the old stories finding their way into YA books.

[hello-alonso]

The Battle Between Light and Darkness

To start off, I can almost guarantee you that anyone reading this has never heard of this composer. His name is Pratanallis and has a very small following, which is insane because of the quality of his work. He is based in Japan and that itself has its cons, especially for his popularity and recognition, these types of songs would not make it into Western countries on the sole basis that they are sung in Japanese. Pratanallis has been working in the music industry since 2006, making and assisting in several music projects. The genre that he specializes in is symphonic metal/rock and melodic music. The guitar solos in these songs are actually insane and I can’t get enough of them. I really wanted to showcase one of his works to another audience, one that would probably never have heard of him if it wasn’t for this post. In 2019, he released his album, “Holy Fragments” (Album Link if you want to listen along) https://open.spotify.com/album/5eLCKpiL4o7oMVrgLQka3Z?si=4eKdjlp9QcqcB4O0P406Fg&dl_branch=1.

Now, unlike most songs that you would probably hear, this whole album tells a story, and it isn’t about love like most songs are, it is about a journey. There are 11 songs in the album and all of the songs in it contribute to tell this story. In the read more section of this post, Here are the translation to each song if you’d like to listen and be able to understand what they’re saying. Either way, you can still feel the energy from the singers and tempo of the music. Now, imagine you’re sleeping and you wake up from a dream. That’s basically how the first song, Crimson Moonlight goes. It has no vocals and it is made to create the feeling that you’re in a tranquil state of mind. Every song after this is where the fun begins though.

In the second song, Menina Eris, the tempo and vibe immediately change. In terms of the story, you have been woken up from the dream to a sudden realization. That realization being that you are trapped in an isolated world where darkness rains over you. You get a glimpse of an angel, but she strays away and now you are all alone. You are stuck in this lost world and have no idea where to go. 

This is where I will point out two characters throughout the album. The first one is called Sphillia, and in this case she is the angel and savior throughout the album. She tries to save you from the darkness that spreads throughout the world.

On the other hand, there is Mare, whos name translates, according to Wikipedia as a, “malicious entity in Germanic and Slavic folklore that rides on people's chests while they sleep, bringing on nightmares”. Similarly, that’s exactly what she’s doing throughout the story of the album. She may look cute in the picture, but she certainly doesn’t want to do anything cute.

In the next song, Déjà Vu, the fast rock tempo continues and is consistent throughout the track. The story behind this song is the continuation of a loss of hope, where you see the old world you once lived in, but it’s trapped in darkness. The déjà vu you have is from the world you once knew, except it has been completely changed. You stray even farther from the exit and continue in this isolated world. 

Now, for my favorite song in the album. This is also the most popular song based off of Spotify streams, Braking Down (not a typo). This is where Sphillia, the angel and Mare, the evil, are shown and they leave you indecisive on what route you want to take. To fight for good or evil. The next song, Compassion, is similar to the last one where you are not yet ready to choose what to do. The melody feels as if the vocals are Sphillia and the instrumental part of the song is Mare, both very distinct melodies, one rough, and one calm and soothing.

After Compassion, follows the only other song without vocals, Fragment of Tears, This song feels as though you are crying throughout this world you were put in. The melody is made from a pipe organ, which gives it an eerie medieval vibe. Upon ending, the song translates to Justynusty instantly, which changes the tempo back to 100 immediately. This song is where the action commences. Where Sphillia and Mare start to battle each other for control of the world. In this song they are referred to as White and Black wings. Towards the beginning of the song are the lyrics, 

“A deep darkness laughs scornfully tainted by your deceit and it’s reach corrupts everything it is out to tear it all apart”.

This refers to Mare trying to control the world and corrupt everything. Sphillia eventually emerges and starts to try and stop the evil. She eventually puts and end to the madness and peace is restored. 

“Vanquishing the darkness as they flutter the white wings spread out with a singing voice that makes the skies tremble raining down a light of bliss as the beast that consumes the light is born engulfing the land in darkness”.

The next song of the album is With You. Sphillia has beaten Mare and now the world is at peace once again. The tempo is slow and calming throughout. The white wings prevail over the black wings. 

Right after With You, just like in a movie, Mare is back in the next song, Girl’s Seraph. Out of all of the songs, while listening to the album, this is the one that got me confused and intrigued. The song started off calm, until a few seconds in. The melody was the roughest out of all the songs in the album and the bpm was probably well over 200. The first set of lyrics in the song are,

“Now, angel of the eight day time to flap those black-stained wings embrace the deep darkness grant us benevolence, Seraph Maiden.”

The darkness, Mare, is back. She comes back even stronger and ready to attack you and Sphillia. The song continues with the rough melody signifying that they are battling each other. What ultimately destroys the evil is a combination of the sun and Sphillia, they both combine together to destroy all of the darkness Mare has spread throughout the world. The world is saved once again.

Following this chain of events is Holy Fragments. This is the point where you realize that everything that just happened was all a dream. You wake up and start to feel upset that you can’t continue helping the world alongside the angel, so you just dismiss it and try to feel joyful over the memories you made in that dream. To conclude the album, My Happiness is played. The meaning behind this song is that you feel happy and grateful over the life you have. The tempo of this song feels like you could be in a flower field. The piano and violin help make this a calming and emotional song. This world that does not have evil or darkness, you simply feel free and contempt about your surroundings. No darkness engulfs you, there is light all around you. 

Before actually taking an in depth listen to this album, I only knew two songs and of course I didn’t look up the translation. Upon actually listening to the album from start to finish, I have a much greater appreciation for Pratanallis. His beautiful melodies and storytelling throughout the album captivated me all the way through. With only ~2,000 streams on Spotify, I am very sad that he doesn’t have a bigger audience. 

The symphonic instruments used in the album along with the fast tempos really got me into the songs. Even without knowing what the lyrics mean, you can still feel when the song is about something rough and scary or when happiness is attained. I know a lot of people won’t like this genre of music, but if you like rock and metal, I highly recommend checking out his other albums if you enjoyed this one. I hope to have opened your eyes to some music you might not have heard of before  :) 

Translation to the Album!!

https://supergenial.tumblr.com/post/634283455677661184/translation-lyrics-holy-fragments-by-pratanallis

Pratanallis’s Website: https://www.pratanallis.net/

Images for Both Mare and Sphillia: https://www.pratanallis.net/

Information on Pratanallis: metal-archives.com/bands/Pratanallis/3540454256

Spotify Album link: https://open.spotify.com/album/5eLCKpiL4o7oMVrgLQka3Z?si=twsId9ZFR6CffJsu68hqlg&dl_branch=1

Menina Eris YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYg91YftU2U

Braking Down YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2ggIOL5Vv8

Wikipedia Definition of Mare: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mare_(folklore)

Pipe Organ Demonstration Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHNLdHe8uxY

Angel Peace on Earth Image: https://www.pinotspalette.com/gilbert/event/198261

Evil Angel Image: https://www.goodfon.com/wallpaper/darren-benton-by-darren-benton-angel-of-death-dark-horror-de.html

[differenzeartistiche]

It’s Gavin Creel’s birthday, so let’s bring back this ranking of all his performances that I’ve seen.

I’m adding A Tale of Two Cities since I last posted this two years ago.

Gavin Creel, 14 performances, ranked!

14. Nick Piazza in Fame

This show has some merits, although it’s definitely not one of my favorites. It’s Gavin’s professional debut and I can forgive him some naiveté in an otherwise competent, beautifully sung performance. His rendition of “I wanna make magic” is lovely.

13. Charles Darnay in A Tale of Two Cities

Ok, so this was a concert performance, so it’s not really fair to compare it to the others, but I’ll just throw it in here. Mainly because it’s such an unusual show for Gavin. It’s something that tries very hard to be on the level of Les Miserables, without much success, and Gavin is not a huge fan of that kind of show. That said, it’s a nicely sung performance of a classic romantic hero role. Nice, nothing more.

12. Jean-Michel in La Cage Aux Folles

Great show, poor but still competent production. The role’s literally the most boring in the whole play, but he gets to sing the cute “With Anne on my arm” and he nails it.

11. Hollis Bessemer in Bounce

Sadly a lesser show by Sondheim, I still love some aspects of it, and Gavin’s wide-eyed artistically-inclined dreamer is one of them. His big solo “Talent” is the best song of the show and touches me on a very personal level.

10. Matthews in Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

Gavin voicing a Disney villain! A Disney villain with a secret! A Disney villain with a French accent! Talk about playing against type. There’s something of Kodaly here, and of Lumiere and of Pepé Le Pew. You can tell he had a blast recording this role, and the design is exquisite.

9. Bill in Eloise at the Plaza / Eloise at Christmastime

Effortlessly hilarious on screen as he is on stage, he goes full-on old-time Hollywood star in the Christmas-themed sequel and I love it. A mix of Dick Powell and Fred Astaire.

8. Dr. Pomatter in Waitress

Sara Bareilles’ little gem of a musical often finds its strength in the absolute realness of its characters, flawed human beings looking for a little sparkle of happiness. Drew Gehling’s Dr. Pomatter was awkward and fun and sad-eyed, but I think Gavin wins infusing the character with tenderness and truly lived-in melancholy. A few weeks in a well-worn musical could be seen as a footnote in a great career, but it’s such a lovely performance, enhanced by the incredible chemistry he has with Bareilles.

7. Bert in Mary Poppins

My introduction to Gavin and since then I’ve come to appreciate him as heir to impossibly gangly male leads like Dick Van Dyke, so this feels like such a natural fit. I find the show a little bloated, but watch him defying gravity in that one “walking on air” scene: it’s irresistible.

6. Ugly in Honk!

Having him play the ugly duckling ALSO feels like a natural fit. Gavin’s at his best when he plays lost and confused dreamers, and the fairytale touch with the surreal setting makes for a wonderful variation on that theme.

5. Steven Kodaly in She Loves Me

Easily the odd man out of the list. The evil, scheming, suave and self-centered Kodaly is a delightful departure from all the romantic leads and clueless buffoons of Gavin’s career. The showstopper “Ilona” brings out all the manipulative nature of the character, a snake that always finds a way out and always gets what he wants. A remarkable performance that makes me want to see him branch out into even more strange territories.

4. Jimmy Smith in Thoroughly Modern Millie

Again with the old-time charm and humor. Millie is a show dominated by women, and Gavin’s male romantic lead manages not to be swallowed whole by them by being so wonderfully easy-going, hilariously aloof and occasionally sassy. It does also help that in “What do I need with love” he has one of the catchiest numbers of the show.

3. Cornelius Hackl in Hello, Dolly!

PUDDING. That alone deserved the Tony. It’s an overwhelmingly funny turn that makes the best of the original, almost vaudevillian nature of the show. So full of tricks and ticks and winks to the audience, deliciously aware of its own absurdity, it’s the kind of scene-stealing performance that not every actor can pull off. And oh my god, has anyone ever sung Jerry Herman’s beautiful tunes so gorgeously? You almost wish he could have sung “Put on your Sunday clothes” in its entirety.

2. Elder Price in The Book of Mormon

Somewhere between the rubber-faced humor of Jim Carrey, the earnest straight man hilarity of Jack Lemmon and the physicality of Dick Van Dyke. A perfect combination that captures the sarcastic, yet disarmingly sweet nature of the show, with its hints of meanness and self-devouring doubt.

1. Claude Hooper Bukowski in Hair

Unquestionably the masterpiece of Gavin’s career. A towering performance that starts with the iconicity of the role and the visuals associated with it and finds the core of Claude’s humanity: a scared, earnest, sometimes self-centered, mostly clueless young man that has to face something so much bigger than himself, something that is so far from the made-up world of fake accents and films in space that he has created for himself and that will eventually consume him. Moments like “Where do I go” and “The Flesh Failures” are moving and brutally honest.

[thetypedwriter]

Imaginary Friend Book Review

Imaginary Friend by Stephen Chbosky Book Review 

This is undoubtedly the weirdest book I have ever read. 

You might be thinking… but, thetypedwriter you read fanfiction! This can’t be the weirdest thing you’ve ever read! Things like ABO universes exist!

You would think that, wouldn’t you?

But no. 

I shall endeavor to give you a spoiler free synopsis of the book first followed by my thoughts and criticism, but note that this is an endeavor for a reason. I have now explained this novel in depth to two different people, and both times I have found myself completely and irrevocably stuck on how to even begin, let alone end. 

With that forewarning, here we go. 

The novel surrounds a single mother and her young son moving to a small Pennsylvania town in order to escape the tragedies of their past that include the passing of her husband and her current abusive boyfriend. 

However, while things in their new home start out well-they find solutions to unemployment, poverty, the son’s dyslexia, etc, things start to go awry when Christopher, the son, is lured into the Mission Street Woods at the edge of town by a voice only he seems to be able to hear. 

As Christopher continues to listen to the voice in the form of a cloud, or a plastic bag, or even inside of his mind, he starts recruiting his friends to build a treehouse in the woods that will transport him to a different time and place. The voice, lovingly called the Nice Man, instructs him to finish the tree house by Christmas Day. 

Or else everyone will die. 

As Christopher struggles with newfound powers and responsibilities, coping with two different worlds, his mother struggles with her son’s sanity, the town struggles with anger, blame, and temptation, and what follows is the chaotic descent of a small town into the throes of good versus evil, love and loss, and most importantly, trying to differentiate what is real versus what is imaginary. 

In the simplest terms possible (a facetious statement if there ever was one), I thought this was going to be a thriller mystery book about a single mother and her young seven-year-old son Christopher leaving their home and her abhorrent abusive boyfriend in order to start a new life with hope and potential. 

And it….is? 

But it doesn’t stop there. Chbosky crams so many genres, themes, motifs, and messages into this book that when you think about it, it’s unsurprising that it’s over 700 pages long with the tiniest, most miniscule font I have ever had to squint at. 

However, make no mistakes like I did, this book is horror. 

Yup. You read that right folks, horror. 

To preface, and I might have mentioned this in another post for another book at some point, but I vehemently dislike horror of any kind. This extends to books, movies, shows, etc. 

I understand that horror is a great joy and pleasure for a vast amount of people and that it contains its own literary merit, tropes, and rules, and I can appreciate that for what it is from afar, but I personally take very little enjoyment from consuming anything horror related (I apologize to all the Stephen King fans out there in the world). 

I did not fully realize the extent to which this book was a true horror. 

This is entirely my own fault. I was very much blinded by the rosy colored glasses from college when I first read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Chbosky’s first and only other novel. 

Perks is wonderful. It is a tragic, yet fundamentally hopeful and loving bildungsroman that shows the beauty and the pain of growing up and accepting yourself. The movie with Emma Watson is what dreams are made of. 

I committed author fraud when I picked up Imaginary Friend based on the pure speculation that I would most likely like it since he had written Perks, a book I adored as both a reader and a teacher. 

I’ve warned readers against this in the past, but it seems like I should have taken my own advice: just because an author has written one good book or one book you like, does not automatically mean you will like their second book, or any of their other books for that matter. 

This cannot possibly ring more true for Stephen Chbosky, as not only are his two books completely different in narrative and structure, but also vastly different in genre and purpose. 

I should have stuck with my gut and realized that I probably wouldn’t like this book based off the synopsis, the genre, and yes, even the cover (it looks scary to me, okay?), but I said noooooo, it’s Chbosky, you have to read it!

And this is where we ended up. 

First of all, I didn’t hate the book. 

I can recognize that it is extremely well written, well crafted, and well developed. I can enjoy a slew of characters, and oh boy are there a multitude to pick from, and I can give credit where credit is due. 

Chbosky is a talented writer. There is no doubt in my mind about this. The way he crafts words, the way he plays with texture and space, and with fonts and sizes, is nothing less of sheer brilliance. 

He undoubtedly is also masterful at motifs, foreshadowing, and symbolism. Notably, there were so many recurring objects, colors, metaphors, and so on that were sprinkled out so consecutively and intentionally throughout the novel-some I didn’t even pick up until the end-that I was left reeling from how immensely talented and brilliant he is. 

Things like his use of baby teeth, blue moon, and fogs/clouds/mist struck me in particular. I know this seems like gibberish, but Chbosky truly came across as understanding what he wanted to portray and how he wanted to deliver it. 

However, the biggest compliment I can give to Chbosky is the sheer magnitude of his imagination and creativity. This book almost overwhelmed me through the use of ideas and concepts I had never really thought of before. 

Alternate dimensions? Check. 

Supernatural powers? Check. 

Incredible use of diction and figurative language? Check and check. 

Chbosky had so many wild and tantalizing beautiful turns of phrases, expressions, and descriptions that it left me with the same sort of gasping epiphany that Maggie Steifvater’s writing always leaves me with, the feelings that writing can be so utterly beautiful and compelling, that it can be all-consuming as well as never ending with its potential to stun, to create, and to warp to unique needs and purposes. 

It definitely was a reading experience quite like any other I’ve had. 

Be that because of the horror genre or because of Chbosky’s odd, yet addicting writing style and this has definitely become a book that left me more than a bit dumbfounded. Although I’ve sung its praises and admitted to my own faults at this point, this book isn’t without flaws. 

To me the horror genre itself is just not my cup of tea like I’ve stated. Strike number one. 

Second, the book was...abysmally long. Atrociously long. As I’ve also said before, I do not mind large books. In fact, big books when you’re reading something you love is a true blessing. Finding that fanfiction at 3am that hooks you immediately and you look up to see its 300k? Amazing. 

Starting a new book series that you fall in love with body and soul and realize you have several installments left in the series to gorge and devour? Ecstasy. 

Sloughing through a single book that starts to drag on and on repetitiously for what seems like forever? Borderline hell. 

This book could have been 300 pages shorter and still contained everything Chbosky wanted to accomplish. It could have had the same brilliant writing, messages, and motifs, but without all of the never-ending back and forth between worlds and battles that just kept popping up time and time again. The abominable length considering its content is strike two. 

Last, the ending was a bit of a cluster. At this point in the novel, so much is going on, you are being exposed to so many pov’s that it’s almost stress-inducing, and events taking place are cataclysmic and 10/10 on drama. Chbosky bit off more than he could chew here. 

The book choked itself at the end, which, after reading for 700 pages is not the feeling you want to have. The ending left me befuddled, disappointed, and also bereft of a conclusive end and explanation for the shitstorm that had just rained down. It was not the ending I wanted, could understand, or could even really grasp. Strike three. 

This book has a plethora of merits followed by three enormous criticisms. If you like horror, then you’ve already crossed hurdle number one. If you can accept it’s repellant length (let alone have days upon days of free time to actually ingest said behemoth) then that’s hurdle number two. 

Hurdle three is up to you. Perhaps you would like the ending where as I found it lacking in structure, content, and answers. I like my endings tied up with neat little bows. I don’t like to be left thinking...hmmmm what does this mean? 

If I am going to read your massive book, I deserve an ending that satisfies the journey. Authors telling readers that it’s up for interpretation makes me want to strangle something. It comes across as enormously pretentious to me and oftentimes lazy. 

In the case of Chbosky, I think he had given himself so many loose threads that the neat little bow I desired was next to impossible. 

So he didn’t even try. 

Score: 6/10

Recommendation: If you love The Shining, are lacking bouts of creativity and imagination, have lots of free time during Quarantine, and don’t mind having an Inception-esque ending where you might not get all the answers you want, while being tasked with concocting it for yourself, Imaginary Friend might be your new best friend. 

Bonus: Here’s a pic of my kitty photo bombing this book shoot. Hope she brightens your day!

[houseofsannae]

A Fistful of Munny - Extended End Notes

Notes for A Fistful of Munny that don’t fit within the character limit under the cut!

Please, read the fic before reading this post

           All right! Welcome to the extended notes, in which I go into excruciating detail over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter, because I like the sound of my own voice!

           Let’s start with some more broad stuff that didn’t make the exclusive end notes space. To do the Fistful of Dollars homage, I needed a place where I could have two villainous factions intersecting for Strelitzia to play against one another. After some brainstorming and asking for help from other people working on the Entwined in Trine Sorikai zine (and ultimately ignoring all their very good suggestions (Sorry, guys!)), I eventually realized that the Wasteland from Epic Mickey was a perfect place for this story, both in the sense of having mooks to destroy without Strels committing actual murder, and in the thematic sense of forgotten characters. There was just one issue.

           I hadn’t played Epic Mickey.

           And that is how I spent my summer, playing both Epic Mickey games. Both, because I was looking for a good location to set the story in in-world. Since the Wasteland is based on the Disney theme parks, I was hoping to find one based on Frontierland, their Western section. Such a location did exist – Disney Gulch – but only in the second game. Which meant I had to play Epic Mickey 2, as well. (The first one is a better game, but that’s not really the fault of the developers; they were not given the time they needed to make it as good as the first one. Here’s a video with trivia about the series that goes a little into the development.) I also needed to learn the Mad Doctor’s ultimate fate, since I wanted his Beetleworx/Blotworx to be one of the two villainous factions. In the game, depending on whether you chose the Paint (Paragon) or Thinner (Renegade) path, the Doc is either redeemed… or dead. Neither of which was helpful, so I had to invent.

           But let’s talk about characters and why I picked them in order. The short version for why these choices, at least on the Final Fantasy side, is set-up for later. Obviously I can’t go into detail why. Before that, let’s talk about the Beanie Baby.

           Chi is, as I hope you were able to guess, Strelitzia’s Chirithy. I’ve brought it up several times, but I personally do not like mascot characters. There are a few exceptions, but Chirithies are not one of them. Like I said, KHUx isn’t what happened in this AU, so you’ll have to wait for in-universe answers on why it’s a cat now. Out-of-universe reason is this was the only way I could make it palatable for myself. I arbitrarily decided on a gender for it because as a real cat, it would have a sex. Canonically Chirithies appear to be genderless, and in Japanese refer to themselves with the gender-neutral (but masculine-leaning) boku. I would’ve left Chi that way, save for the fact that he’s a completely normal cat now. (And before you ask, no, not every real cat that appears in KHΨ from this point on is a Chirithy.)

           As for Strelitzia herself, it’s hard for me to pick up a character’s voice when they’re… not voiced. Intonation and cadence do a lot for me mimicking the way a character talks, so it’s a bit more difficult when they don’t technically speak. I tried for a mix between Sora and Kairi, while still keeping her defining character traits of being shy, but also impulsive.

           You may notice that while she’s started remembering faces, if not names, the Player’s name and face still eludes her, despite her (canonical. Deal with it.) crush on them. There is a story reason for this, and will become clear once Luxu takes centre stage.

           The name “Jane” was chosen with more consideration than just “Jane Doe” being the standard name in (at least my corner of) the English-speaking world for a woman of unknown identity. See, the Man With No Name actually has three names. In A Fistful of Dollars, he is referred to (by one character in one scene, once) as “Joe”. “Joan” might have been a more clear homage, but I figure Jane makes sense. And as you might guess, in the next fic, Strels will be going by a different name, still not her own. She’ll remember her name… eventually.

           One might think I could’ve picked any old Cid, and one would be wrong for reasons I can’t explain yet. In fact, I can’t explain much of anything surrounding him yet. What I can say is no, Cidney Aurum is not dead, she’s just not related to Cid Sophiar in this fic verse. An unfortunate consequence of where I wanted to put each of them in the narrative; making them not be related was the only way it made any sense, geographically speaking.

           Hyperion on the other hand, I can talk about. He’s one of the Gremlins in Epic Mickey, and… wait, first things first. Gremlins are from an abandoned Disney film based on a Roald Dahl book, itself based on the cryptids that supposedly haunted airplanes and caused them to malfunction, the earliest known written-down mention of the concept being from the 1920s. The film never got made, but the designs Disney would have used were adapted into a second printing of Dahl’s book, and they were later used in Epic Mickey. Hyperion is, like the publishing imprint that Disney owns, named after a street that Walt Disney used to live on. In-game, Hyperion is in Bog Easy (based on the Haunted Mansion), not Disney Gulch, but his name stuck out to me as being particularly fun, so I picked him instead of trying to figure out what Gremlins actually are in the Gulch (they have names in the files of Epic Mickey 2, but not in the actual game, so it would have been a hunt).

           Regardless of where the setting ended up, for the second villainous faction, I was always going to plop down the good old Don. More things I can’t talk about. For everything FF7, know that I’m always going to be pulling from a mix of the original game, Remake, and Machinabridged. Hence, Corneo’s outfit is a mix of his original and Remake designs (which basically just means he’s wearing blue jeans instead of brown). I didn’t think bringing in his three lieutenants from Remake was necessary, especially since this was supposed to be a kind-of small operation.

           Leslie is picked up and dropped from Remake pretty much unchanged. I needed someone to do the murders Strels couldn’t, and even if he’s not a complete asshole, he’s still mostly an asshole. Have we ever seen small, Materia-like balls used to cast magic before…?

           Onto the fun bits, which is the Disney characters. We’ll start with Percy, who is from a Goofy short called “How to Ride a Horse”, from 1950. And that’s about it. The conceit in Wasteland is that all of the Toons there were basically actors, and they wound up in Wasteland if they were forgotten (that’s not exactly correct, but I’m generalizing). This is interesting, since two of the Toons in Epic Mickey are Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom… are residents of Disney Town in Kingdom Hearts, having shown up in Birth by Sleep. So that’s an interesting continuity snarl that I’m going to just ignore.

           Persephone and Pluto, on the other hand, are from an earlier short called “The Goddess of Spring”, from 1934. It was one of the projects Disney tried as practice for Snow White. If you’re about to protest that his name should be Hades, not Pluto, then you’re going to need a time machine so you can tell them back in the 30s. The Goddess of Spring is a musical, in the sense that every single line is sung. Watch it for yourself. There’s a video with better quality floating around YouTube, but for some reason it’s the French dub. And that’s why both of them sing most of their lines. I tried matching the meter of their actual parts, but Persephone’s doesn’t actually follow a syllabic pattern that I could make out. I eventually gave up and just gave her the meter from the start of the short. Pluto’s was easier to manage (and more consistent).

           The skeletons are Disney veterans, presumably the same ones from “The Skeleton Dance” (1929), but more specifically they’re mimicking what they did in “The Mad Doctor” (1933), the first appearance of our other villain. They’re fun.

           The original Mad Doctor was supposedly named “Dr. XXX”, according to the name on his door. This was before the modern film rating system was put in place; it was a different time. In the original short, the Mad Doctor kidnaps Pluto (the dog) with the intent of cutting him in half and putting his front half on a chicken For Science!, and Mickey follows him to his castle to rescue the purloined pooch. The short wasn’t a musical in the same vein as “The Goddess of Spring”, but… the Mad Doctor’s only spoken lines were a song (aside from evil cackling). While I had already decided to do the “Toons that sang in their short can only communicate through song” with Persephone and Pluto before starting on Epic Mickey 2, I hilariously discovered that the game developers had done the exact same gag with the Mad Doctor, most of his lines in the game being sung. (In Epic Mickey there were no fully voiced lines, so he speaks as normally as anyone else does). Which made it easier to write his songs here, since I could just rewrite his songs from the game. I used to write alternate lyrics for songs back in high school, so this was an interesting trip back in time for me. They were stuck in my head for weeks afterwards, but it was worth it.

           I believe that’s everything for the characters. Let’s talk about Keyblades.

           It irks me that three people in KHUx have the same Keyblade. Ephemer, Skuld, and Strelitzia all have variations of Starlight. Now, in KHΨ, there is only one Starlight, and it belongs to Luxu, so I’m going to have to decide on different Keyblades for each of them. (Ephemer’s has already been decided, and I haven’t started brainstorming for Skuld yet. No I do not need suggestions, thank you). Pixie Petal bears a noted (by KHWiki) resemblance to one of Marluxia’s alternate scythes, so that tangential connection was enough for me. Both siblings have flower-themed Keyblades – it makes sense to me.

           You might notice a few disparities in the magic. These are on purpose, and will eventually make sense. And that’s all I can say on that at the moment. ;)

           Oh, yes, one important thing I probably should have said on the main notes: I’m not going for a realistic depiction of amnesia here. Anything I got right was entirely accidental, and I’m fairly certain there’s not much. There might be a story reason for why it works the way it does… and it might be the same reason why other people from KHUx have or had amnesia in the present day…

           You know what’s funny? Although Orcuses look more impressive than Invisibles, their stats in Days are actually worse. I’m fairly sure that this is because the only time we see an Orcus, it’s actually an illusion cast over Xion so that Roxas will fight her to the death. There are no other stats for them (according to KHWiki), since they’ve never been used elsewhere.

           A friendly reminder that Apprentice Xehanort invented the term “Heartless”, which was why Aqua didn’t know what to call them until Mickey told her. Thus, nobody from the era of the Keyblade War should know the term “Heartless” without being told by someone in present day. “Darkling” was the term they used instead. I’m fairly certain KHUx ignores the continuity on this (so why should we trust its continuity for anything else, hmm?)

           I think that covers everything! Or at least everything I’m willing to share at this point. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate your dedication! ^_^

[queenof-literature]

I know that you just posted your Rito story and I loved. I can't wait for more! I noticed it mentioned Wild blushing when asked to sing one of Kass's song. I am pretty sure it's Kass's final song, and thought it would be cute if one of the other Links hears Wild singing under his breath (maybe while cooking) and the story and song get dragged out of him.

Hi! Thank you so much! I wasn't quite sure what you meant by song and story, but I used Kass' final song with the story of Wild's death and the story with Kass' teacher, so it got a little angsty. I hope that all is okay. If not, please let me know and I wil l write a different one! Thank you for the request!

It had been a rough day. The group had landed in Hyrule’s land, and had instantly been attacked by groups of monsters with insane amounts of bloodlust. Luckily, there weren’t any injuries that couldn’t be fixed with a potion or two. Some scrapes here, some sprained ankles there, physically they were fine. But they were absolutely exhausted.

Wild was making a hearty stew for his friends before they turned in early that night. Four was leaning against a tree, book in hand. Warriors and Legend were playing a weird card game that involved slapping each other’s hands as hard as possible while Wind and Hyrule watched and made fun of them both. Time and Twilight were chatting and laughing softly, while Sky was already dozing off on a tree near Four’s. Overall, it was a tired peace that made Wild’s heart swell.

He never really got this peace before he met the other heroes. It was always sleeping in trees away from monsters, or riding through the night to discover new shrines, or pushing forward to save Zelda and other villages infected by the Calamity. This was peaceful, something that Wild wasn’t used to, but didn’t really hate like he thought he would when he first met them.

“For fierce and deadly trials await. To regain his strength. Fulfill his fate.” Wild didn’t really notice when he began to sing softly as he was stirring his stew. He also didn’t notice the rest of camp slowly getting quiet, or Four elbowing Sky in the ribs. His eyes had grown distant as he continued to sing softly. “To become a hero once again. To wrest the princess from her den.” The rest of the Links looked at each other silently. Wild had a pretty voice from what they could hear. Pretty in a way that it was unique, and rough from lack of use, but also soft and comforting. He almost looks like he doesn’t notice what he’s doing. Should they tell him? 

“The hero, the princess-hand in hand-Must bring the light back to this land.” Wild finished just as soft as he began, like he had sung the song millions of times before. But he realized he felt eyes on him. He looked up to see the entire camp staring at him, even Sky, all with confusion and a bit of awe. Oh dear Hylia. Wild yanked his hood up to find his bright red face as he realized what he had done. ‘I am so sorry.’ Wild signed ‘Sometimes I do that without noticing. I didn’t mean to interrupt you all I promise. I’ll stop. Just let me know when I do it in the future, sorry I just didn’t notice-’ Twilight and the rest of the boys had gathered around Wild, but still gave him space. Twilight gently put his hands over Wild’s. He didn’t like doing that if he didn’t have to, Wild sometimes expressed himself only through sign and he never wanted to get in the way of that. But if he let Wild continue too far, he would spiral into a dark place where it was harder to pull him from. All of the Heroes of Courage had that issue. Sometimes it was better to stop the train of loathing and questioning before it got too far off the track. 

“Don’t apologize about what you do while you make us dinner, Cub” Twilight teased gently, taking his hands off of Wild’s. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, we all got our habits. Besides, ya got a pretty singin’ voice.” Twilight smiled, while Wild simply flushed further into his hood, at this point his face was the most red thing Twilight had ever seen.

“Yeah Wild! I knew you would have a pretty voice!” Wind exclaimed. The group couldn’t see Wild’s eyes at all, but they could see his lips twitch upwards slightly at the younger’s enthusiasm. 

“Ummm… thank you.” Wild said softly, still not coming out of his hood. 

“Can you sing us the whole song? If you’re comfortable of course.” Wind asked hesitantly. He wanted to hear the rest of Wild’s song, but he didn’t want Wild to feel forced into anything. The group looked at Wind in slight shock. They hadn’t expected anyone to ask the blatant question no one else wanted to ask, but Wind was good at that. The shy boy somehow managed to get even more flustered, his face so red he looked like he was about to explode. 

“W-well.” Wild was slightly stuttering again, not that the group minded. It wasn’t just nerves, Wild couldn’t talk very well when the group first found him, so he mostly signed like he did to others in his Hyrule that needed help. Through sign, they discovered that he was actually very witty and fun, but it turns out not using your voice for more than a hundred years and having rough scars around your neck made it a little hard to talk.

“My voice isn’t very good, maybe Kass could sing it to you? It’s better with the accordion anyway.” Wild said nervously.

“Your voice is very good Wild!” Sky urged. 

“If you’re okay with singing it we don’t need the music Wild.” Time stated. “But no one's forcing ya. We would love to hear it, but only if ya want to sing it.” Wild pondered these words. Ever since he started talking verbally again, he tried to push himself out of his silent shell with help from the other heroes. Maybe singing was the next step? 

Once again, Wild felt weak. He could take down entire camps of monsters, defeat Calamity, and kill Guardians with a single ancient arrow to the eye, but he couldn’t talk to people properly. He had relayed those thoughts to Twilight before, how useless he felt sometimes that he could be strong except in the face of normal, everyday people. Twilight had told him that it was perfectly okay, and that everyone had their struggles and fears, but Wild still felt stupid sometimes. 

“I guess… If you really wanna hear it…” Wild emerged from his hood slightly. Maybe it would prove he wasn't as weak as he thought? Wind cheered and put his head in his hands, waiting. The rest of the group smiled, and Twilight patted his arm for encouragement. 

“An ancient hero. A calamity appears. Now resurrected after 10,000 years”

The other heroes are surprised when Wild starts singing. It’s still soft, and it’s still rough, but Wind is right. Wild’s voice has a nice comfort in it.

“Her appointed knight, gives his life. Shields her figure and pays the price.”

Wait, what? Wild’s death is part of the song? And the words, shielding her figure, did Wild take every Guardian laser for Zelda? How did he make it to the Shrine of Resurrection? Oh Wild…

“The princess’ love for her fallen knight, awakens her power and calamity cowers. But the knight survives in the Shrine of Resurrection. He sleeps. Until from his healing dream he leaps.”

Anger fills the group at this. It was known that Wild was in the Shrine? Why did no one check on him? Why did no one keep guard so he wouldn’t be alone and scared when he woke up? Sure it was 100 years, but did no one get suspicious? Especially with elders who saw the fall of Hyrule!

“For fierce and deadly trials await, to regain his strength, fulfill his fate. To become a hero once again. To wrest the princess from Evil's den.” Wild finishes his song while looking around the camp with nervous eyes. Some of the boys looked troubled. Was he really that bad? At Wild’s nervous look, most of the boys snapped out of their stupur and began applauding, Warriors whistling at an ear piercing volume while the others whooped and hollered. Wild, who had kept his hood on to feel a small amount of security at revealing his voice in such a vulnerable way, hid within it once again, except it was a different embarrassment this time, he was relieved he had done it and gotten through it. But the group could see a smile threatening to break out. It was a sweet sight. 

‘Thank you’ Wild signed with fingers trembling from the adrenaline of singing in front of all eight heroes. 

“No problem, Buddy.” Twilight clapped his back.

“Yeah Wild! Thanks for trusting us enough to sing that song!” Hyrule smiled across the campfire. A smile that Wild returned instantly. Hyrule and Wild related to each other in this way. They spent so much time away from civilization and traveling the woods, it was sometimes scary to go back. All of the boys were smiling at him, except for Time. He looked solemn and serious. 

“You okay, Old Man?” Four questioned. Time turned to Wild, look serious. Wild hadn’t been this intimidated by Time since he had first met the man.

“Wild… how many times did those things’ lasers hit you?” Time said the word ‘things’ with such malice the entire group got chills.

“Time.” Twilight whispered urgently. Wild didn’t like to talk about his death one hundred years ago. 

“It says you shielded the princess. How. Many. Times?” Time asked coolly. On the inside he was livid. He was trying so hard not to take it out on Twilight’s protege, because it wasn’t his fault. None of it was, no matter how much he blamed himself, Wild was sent into the situation to die. He took blast after blast with his own body, and he still didn’t make it to Ganon. His friends all died except Zelda who he shielded with his own body.    

“U-um. I don’t remember. I-I guess. Maybe five? Six? I-I’m sorry Time. I-I don’t remember.” Twilight put a hand on Wild’s shoulder when the boy’s breath hitched slightly, jolting Time out of his external anger. The rest of the camp were looking at him in confusion, or in some cases, (Legend), anger.

“I’m sorry Wild I didn't mean to spring that upon you. I was just mad. Not at you.” Time rished the last part in when he saw Wild open his mouth to apologize again. “I was mad at your situation. Wild… you didn’t deserve that. No one would ever deserve that but Hylia, not you kid.” Wild tilted his head in confusion. It would have been slightly cute if the next words hadn’t come out of his mouth. 

“But I failed.” Wild said like it was the most natural thing on the planet. There was an uncomfortable silence in the group, then a descent into chaos. 

“Failed?”

"Wild, no!”

“How the fuck was Calamity’s shit actions your fault? He’s the fucking monster that fucked up Hyrule!”

“Dear Hylia, Wind. Language. He’s right though Wild, it was Ganon’s fault.”

“Wild it wasn’t your fault, it was Ganon’s.”

Wild appreciated the support, but all their voices began blurring together. Tears pricked at his eyes, Twilight’s hand on his shoulder burned hotter than a Guardians laser. It all became too much too fast. 

“It was my fault!” Wild yelled. That halted the group in their tracks. Wild yelled sure. When he was in his environment he would yell while shield surfing, or talking about a crazy plan he had, but this was in anger and despair. Wild harshly brushed Twilight’s hand off, trying to ignore the slight hurt in his eyes. 

“I doomed Hyrule! By the time Zelda unlocked her power I had collapsed. My body quit on me! I quit on all of Hyrule! The other champions died! Why am I the only one left? Kass told me the story of his teacher! He was Zelda’s age and he fell in love with her, but she loved me! I don’t even know if I loved her back! She doesn’t deserve what she was put through! No one does! I did that to them, that was all me! I failed! I got hit with laser after laser after laser but I had to keep going! But I couldn’t, I didn’t even make it the castle! Kass’ teacher was mad I wasn’t a noble or royalty, and he was right! Zelda deserved better! She and I are the only ones left! All the other champions died because of me! Why am I the only one? Why am I still here? Why am I-” Wild choked on his last words on a sob. His entire rant, tears began to cascade down his face as the group looked on in horror.

Wild couldn’t hold it in anymore. He cried and he grieved and he yelled. Wild didn’t feel the white and burning rage anymore, he just felt the despair and sorrow he had been keeping in for years, only releasing a couple of times in small doses. When Twilight reached out to gently touch his hand, it didn’t feel like lava from Death Mountain anymore, it felt warm and loving and Wild simply leaned into it, silently telling Twilight it was okay.

“Oh, Cub.” Twilight murmured before pulling Wild to his chest. Wild curled up in his mentor's arms and allowed himself to sob over all the losses he had felt. His sobs grew harder and he felt like a child, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t breath, his sobs overlapping and clogging his lungs. One of his hands was pulled away from where it was curled into Twilight’s tunic and he whined. 

“Just me kiddo. You gotta breathe with me.” His hand was led to a different chest. Legend, Wild recognized in the back of his mind. Legend exaggerated his breaths for Wild to copy. The first time he tried, he simply choked more and shook his head. “That’s alright, you can do it. Another try.” Legend said gently. Wild would be laughing in a different situation. The word gentle and Legend wouldn’t be put together when he had first met the snarky hero. Wild tried again with a little more success. Legend kept helping him as another hand went through his hair. Four.

“I’m so sorry, Wild.” Wind said from across camp. The younger felt guilty that he had started this when asking if Wild could sing. Wild wanted to reassure that this wasn’t his fault at all, that this had just been building, but he couldn’t talk. Luckily, Warriors and Hyrule were there to cover for him, talking quietly to Wind on the other side of camp. Wind shook it off though, Wild needed them more.

Wild had calmed down slightly. Still crying, and still curled up in Twilight's arms and getting help from Four and Legend. But once he was sure he could hear him, Time spoke up. 

“Wild, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to grill you that hard. That was my mistake.” Wild opened his mouth to tell him that it was okay, he knew Time had no malintent, but Time continued on. “Wild. I need you to understand something. What happened wasn’t your fault.” Wild opened his mouth to correct Time, but Time was having none of it. “No, it wasn’t your fault Wild. I’m not saying that to comfort you or baby you. What you were sent into was an execution Wild.” Twilight's wolf instincts got loud in his head and he almost snapped at Time for being so harsh but stopped himself. He remembered Time told him once after he took Wild under his wing, that mentoring wasn’t just about kind words and support. It was also about knowing when to state hard facts. Sometimes that’s all people understood. 

“No one knew what Ganon had planned, and you had no time to prepare because of the mistakes of those before you. You had nothing to do with their ignorance, Wild.” Time’s face was set in stone, but his eyes showed a fiery passion for every word he was saying. “Wild. Look at me please, bud.” Wild peeked out from Twilight’s shoulder and looked into Time’s eyes, which softened as he met the younger hero’s sky blue eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, because you couldn’t control anything around you. You are not a God. You have the limitations of a Hylian that you already find ways to exceed. Wild, you were so brave. You took hit after hit to protect Zelda. And her powers awakened right before you collapsed. Do you blame her for not unlocking them sooner.” Instantly Wild’s eyes became hard, and he opened his mouth to bite into Time, who could see where this was leading just by the expression on Wild’s face. He held up a hand. “I’m not saying you should. I’m saying that she also had limitations that were out of her control, just like you. If you don’t blame Zelda, why do you blame yourself?” That one stumped Wild a bit. He wanted to say because Zelda was born into a family she never asked to be in, and worked hard everyday to fulfill their expectations… but he was in the same situation. Did Zelda feel the same way he did when he sorrowfully watched her blame herself? Time saw he struck a chord.

“I understand feeling like a failure. I lost battles too. But you did what you could do with what very little of the situation you could control. You said it yourself, you took laser after laser for her, and you only collapsed after you were sure she was safe. The safety of others is the only thing that kept you going, Wild. I’m not saying I approve of you taking lasers for others, but do you realize how much of a hero you are?” Tears flowed from Wild’s eyes once again, but for another reason entirely. Time really cared. He really thought Wild was a hero, even after he heard the song, the stories, the death. He heard it all, and the Hero of Time still thought Wild belonged with them. Wild whispered a quick thank you, and the rest of the group sighed in relief. Wild’s sobs had turned to hiccups as the rest of the group told him similar things to Time. It didn’t feel suffocating this time, it just felt like his eight brothers were trying to comfort him. Wild felt a weight lifted off his shoulders he had felt for so long. Time knew Wild would still struggle with his feelings of failure, one night wouldn’t change that, but he hoped he got through to Wild for the long run, at least a little. 

Wild realized how absolutely exhausted he was before this whole ordeal even started, which only increased tenfold now that he had cried. He was embarrassed that he had lost his shit that much in front of all eight heroes, and realized with a jolt how exhausted they had been too. 

“Um. I’m sorry, I know you all were really tired. I didn’t mean to have this happen-” He was cut off with a flick to his unscarred ear by Legend and a small yank on his ear by Four while Wild yelped.

“What did we just talk about you idiot?” Legend hissed, but it lacked the usual bite he had. 

“Yeah Wild! Don’t be sorry. Everyone needs a good cry once in a while! It’s healthy! I’m a medical professional, you have to listen to me.” Hyrule added with a joking glare. Some snickers rang through the group at Hyrule’s proclamation. Time looked over and smiled in pride at Wild, which Wild returned with red dusting on his cheeks. Hearing all his brothers laughing and fighting, and feeling the comforting arms around him, Wild slowly dozed off into a deep sleep, feeling lighter than he had in years.  

[gophergal]

ASK ABOUT YOUR FIC?! I CAN DO THAT! SO! I am so fucking curious about your Myers fic and Jane. What was your inspo for starting the fic? Is there anything you do to get in the right headspace or vibe for writing it? I am very curious about Jane and anything else you wanna tell that you haven't yet would be so cool. I am also wondering what you like in particular about them being together, I know that we haven't gotten there in the fic but anything you are willing to share now!

HDBGCISVXYN HEY THANKS BEX

Wow, where to start!

(that's your warning that the post got away from me a bit)

Well, for one, this is actually the second iteration of the same basic fic from nearly two years ago! I've probably mentioned that before. The old one is from 2019, and can still be found on my AO3, though it's not as good. I've had a lot of improvement since I wrote it. I'm actually almost caught up to the old one plot wise while also nearly surpassing it in word count. Which is fucking hilarious to me

I started the original almost immediately after I joined the fandom in August 2019. I realized that my interpretation of Michael is a bit in the middle of the two major fanon Michaels.

At the time, I saw most people would do

A.) Cute Bishounen Michael Did Nothing Wrong UwU

Or

B.) This Man Sucks, He's Absolutely Evil, And He Will Stab You After You Fuck

Which are both valid! Both fun!

But neither really fit what I was looking for. My interpretation revolves around exploring Michael's abuse by Dr Loomis and his actual motivation for killing Judith because those don't seem to be explored very often. Which, also valid!

(Sometimes you just want to see him as a big murder hunk and that's cool)

Which means I kinda have to go on a tangent about my tinhat idea of what goes on in Michael's thick skull

I always thought that his first murder was very much the action of a young child experiencing jealousy (Judith hadn't been spending time with him anymore) and expressing it in a very extreme way. He didn't understand how badly he'd hurt his sister, only that he wanted to make her hurt too. That's admittedly a lot of projection on my part, but stay with me.

I don't think he ever got a chance to work through his feelings of jealousy or the sudden loss of his sister. Sure, Loomis "helped", but it's more or less confirmed that he saw a young boy suffering from mental illness, and become obsessed. There's a part in the novelization where Loomis confirms that he was obsessed when he first saw Michael and heard of the case. And then he called the boy evil.

Loomis said that he tried to help for years, but considering how other staff react to him and how he treats Michael, we can tell that his heavy sedation of a man he's meant to be treating is not a new development. Besides, mental health care in the 1960's-70's was... not great to put it lightly.

So I wanted to write a story which explored that through the lens of romance. I wanted someone to knock a hole through his walls and find the scared child inside, then I wanted her to spiral into a deeply unhealthy and fucked up relationship with him.

Jean's not exactly the peak of mental health herself. She's also got a bit of my experience in her (wow how shocking), and struggles with building relationships, asking for help, and making decisions overall. She's a bit of a shell of who she could be. And she's clingy. She's lost many people in her life and that causes her to latch on to any semblance of normalcy.

I believe I mentioned on my Gophercast that she was the result of a teen pregnancy and her father dipped out on her mom. Her Grandpa, however, was very supportive and helped raise her while her mom went to college. Her mom passed away from a sudden illness when Jean was a young teen and her grandpa continued to raise her after that. At the start of the story, it's been about three ish years since he passed away.

She projects onto Michael, aware of the danger of him, but unable to tear herself away. He's whatever she wants him to be. A blank slate. When that doesn't work for her, she gets angry, which puts her in danger.

I think Michael has two reasons for keeping her alive: she's useful, and she's new. He's not really interacted with someone like her before, but then again, he's never really had the chance to interact with anyone.

But that's enough of that lol. That pretty much explains why I like Jean and Michael together anyway. It's more of a thought exercise lol.

To get in the headspace to write this, I read the last chapter I published of it, then listen to a playlist I've made. I won't drop the whole thing, but most of the songs on it are obsessive and dark. I really enjoy songs sung from the pov of a stalker for this. I might list a few songs later if anyone's interested

Other than that, I just put some long winded and boring video/podcast on in the background and start writing. I might sample other folks' fanfic while taking a break, but I try not to steal their ideas

Anywho, I think I'll end that here for now since this is so wordy lol. I'll def talk about it more if anyone wants to know about anything else!

[authenticcadence18]

in the spirit of the other anon: what are some of your favorite pnf songs?? 👀

AHHH MADDY PLS YOU KNOW I LOVE MUSIC AND PHINEAS AND FERB THANK YOUUUU FOR THIS ASK. 

ok so! favorite songs! I’ve got a ton so let’s just jump right to it (see what i did there? lol)

What Might Have Been

This is my FAVORITE Phineas and Ferb song, I remember when whispers about a “Phinbella duet” first started circulating mid-2012 and being SO HYPED (I was so hyped I wrote my own Phinbella duet, lollllll. maybe I’ll post it sometime). I waited literal YEARS for this song and it was VERY WORTH THE WAIT. I love the instrumentation (the strings? the guitar? the drums? the hint of Isabella’s theme at the beginning of the third verse? a A H), the lyrics are just so heartfelt and sweet and poignant (with just a hint of trademark PnF humor thrown in, lol), and the vOCALS GOOD LORD, ALYSON AND VINCENT KILLED IT. And the harmonies at the end. Bless. AYA isn’t perfect but I ADORE “What Might Have Been.” Like, they really gave us a 3 1/2 minute long song of Isabella and Phineas singing about being in love. They did that for us. Sometimes, I listen to it on a loop when I need to focus...or just because I want to listen to it. It’s truly just. The best. Ah. My heart. This song deserves more mainstream attention dANG IT. 

Summer Belongs To You

This song is so uplifting and positive and the beginning is a Phinabella duet of COURSE I love it (i deeefinitely made a lil’ reference to it in a certain simile in chapter 9 of CHFIL, not sure if anyone caught that but writing it made me smile!). It always puts me in a good mood and makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. And it gets bonus points because it features Candace singing about loving her brothers!! SBTY is also one of the episodes that got me interested in the show, so this song holds a special place in my heart. 

City of Love

This song ALSO holds a special place in my heart. Like, it’s so sad but it’s so good. I love Isabella, and I feel for her (and when I first heard this song I could 100% relate to her plight, LOL). This is also the first PnF song I ever downloaded! So it’s very nostalgic and special to me. 

Us Against the Universe

I ADORE THIS SONGGG I ADORE IT SO MUCH OK IT’S JUST EVERYTHINGGG. It makes me feel ALL THE THINGS. It’s very similar to “Summer Belongs To You,” but rather than being rooted in nostalgia, it’s like a reminder that the characters are still as present and united as ever. A couple years ago, I never would’ve thought we’d get to hear the entire cast sing together ever again, so like....this song means the world to me. It’s a great song for 2020. 

The Universe is Against Me

This is ALSO the perfect song for 2020, but in a venting way as opposed to an uplifting way like the previous song. I love the imagery in the lyrics (and like...they’re surprisingly real and raw for Phineas and Ferb) Singing along to it is so cathartic, I could listen to this one on a loop and not get tired of it. 

Happy New Year

THIS SONG DESERVES TO BE ON AN ALBUM. I listen to it every new year; it really captures the feeling of New Year’s Eve and the celebration of starting over (and also. uh. I will forever associate it with Phinabella and lovely Phinabella vibes because of that scene of them dancing together).

Busted

Busted is iconic. Plain and simple. I adore it. Love the harmonies, love the vibe, I’m pretty sure this was the most listened to song on my old iPod, lol. 

Somebody Gimme a Grade

I was (and am...lol) 100% the kid who had to have the best grades they could, so this song speaks to me on an emotional level. I also love the clever wordplay--like, “you wasted all my time learning how to rhyme then left me hangin’ from a treble clef!” is sUCH A GOOD LINE LIKE WHO THOUGHT OF THAT IT’S BRILLIANT. I also love getting to see Baljeet come out of his shell a bit and express himself! 

Happy Evil Love Song

This is one of my go-to songs to play on the ukulele! It’s just so funny and sweet (as long as you don’t think about what happens after it, lol). 

I Really Don’t Hate Christmas

THIS SONG. I LOVE IT. I love that it pokes fun at the “villains hating Christmas” trope while also subverting it! It’s just, so soooooo so great. I have a great time trying to sing it each Christmas season, LOLLLL. (because those are some FAST lyrics. how did Dan do it????)

That Christmas Feelin’

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever!!! It really captures the vibe and joy of the season, and I always go out of my way to play it when hanging out with people who might not know it’s from Phineas and Ferb! lol

In The Empire

One of my biggest flexes is being able to sing the entire “It’s sO NOT FAIR....” section of this song, LOLLLL. It’s just such a fun one to sing!!! (or attempt to sing....hah. Ashley has SKILLS.)

Ferb Latin

Ok, this one might seem a little random, but as a musician, I am OBSESSED with how the three melodies intersect and blend together at the end of the song!!! It sounds SO GOOD. (Plus. Phinabella duet. Yes. Are y’all detecting a pattern?)

Aerial Area Rug

So I’ll just go ahead and say PHINABELLA first because this song has MASSIVE Phinabella vibes (I mean it begins with a homage to the “do you trust me?” scene with Phineas and Isabella, that’s like pure-seratonin right there). And this song is also genuinely just so beautiful. It’s sung so well and the instrumentation is gorgeous and the lyrics are so literal but like, they work very well. (and that key change baby, I love a good key change!)

Gitchee Gitchee Goo

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! It’s a classic, and super catchy, and totally reminds me of Phinabella even though in the context of canon that isn’t what it’s about at all😅. Also! Candace and Phineas singing and having fun together will always make me smile. I crave wholesome sibling interactions. 

Thank You For Coming Along

THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS....I really can’t think of a better send off the show could’ve had. I love how genuine it is, like a love letter to the fans, with all the references and such (I’m a sucker for fourth wall breaks, lol)! And I mean, that Phinabella moment near the end is just MAGNIFIQUE, YES, FOURTH WALL BREAK, PHINABELLA KISS REFERENCES, AND PHINEAS FLIRTING WITH ISABELLA??? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. 

We’re Back

and THIS SONG. THIS SONG RIGHT HERE. I can’t think of a better re-introduction to these characters after saying goodbye to them years ago. This song really feels like a warm hug, a welcome home. The music video Disney released for it is especially wonderful because it incorporates scenes from the show!!! I always rock out to this one whenever it comes on. It’s a gift, truly. I love it. I needed this song this year!!!

Ok I could go on and on and on but this post is getting really long so I think I’d better just post it, LOL. Maybe I can make a pt. 2 sometime, LOL. Because there are plenty of other songs I love!!! 

THANKS FOR THE ASK MADDY I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!!!!!

[drcaligostoloboto]

Hi guys! In this post, I will tell you why I find the relationship between Dr. Loboto and Coach Oldeander very interesting. And no, it's not just because they worked together in the first game that I find it interesting. I have many other reasons that I will mention. This analysis will also have spoilers related to Psychonauts 2 so don't read if you don't want to be spoiled... Let's go!

First I'm going to talk about the similarities between them two:

• They have the same voice actor who is none other than Nick Jameson. This one also makes the voice of Mr. Pokeylope in the first game and the Psychonauts Operator in Rhombus of Ruin. And I find it just great. Their voices are so different. Loboto's voice is high, while Oleander's is low. Nick Jameson is really talented and I think it's great.

• Loboto is blue and Oleander is orange. And we all know that blue and orange are complementary colors.

• Loboto is tall and Oleander is small. This honestly goes well together in terms of "partner in crime".

• They both have a scar on their face.

• Loboto lost his right arm and Oleander lost sight of his right eye.

• They both wanted to be a sailor. In Rhombus of Ruin, we can see that Loboto clearly wanted to be one. Part of his mind is a giant bathtub with a boat and in this boat there is First Mate Loboto who is none other than a sailor. When he was a child, he literally wore a sailor outfit. And he did a lot of experiments on fish. Linda in the first game and all the fish guards in the midquel game. All this is related to the marine world. And his skin is just blue as the sea. Just saying.

Oleander talks about the Navy a lot. So much so that in Rhombus of Ruin, he is very happy when he has a mermaid tail and says he would like the Navy to see him now. Being a sailor would certainly have been his dream job but alas, he was too short. And he also can’t swim because of his stumpy legs. 

•  They both have a problem with their parents. (But who doesn’t in the Psychonauts world, honestly?) Loboto's parents outright lobotomized their son just because he was psychic and Oleander's father slaughtered his precious little bunny right in from of him. These events are truly tragic.

• The Whispering Rock Pamphlet. Oleander wrote this pamphlet. And this pamphlet says "You were born with a special gift. But the people around you treat it like a curse. Your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes." And it makes me think so much of Loboto. Because that's what happened to him. His mother was afraid of him and his father most certainly looked at him with shame in his eyes. And Oleander wrote that. And in my opinion, it seems very personal. Oleander's family surely saw him too this way. And so it's a big point in common between Loboto and him.

• They are both at least into men. Let me explain.

In Rhombus of Ruin, we learn that Oleander likes the boy band "All Paul". Three male mermaids singing love songs. And he's a big fan of them. He even sings one of their songs which is “Drag Me Down”. The fish guards draw each characters during the game. And they drew Oleander with the members of All Paul with hearts all around them. As you can see in the picture below.

In Psychonauts 2, there is a small detail that we can miss if we are not careful. But in his mind, there are a lot of posters and one of them shows two male teeth in love. And the elements of an individual's mind say a lot about his personality.

So, Oleander and Loboto are either gay or bi. And it’s wonderful to think about it.

• The song Drag Me Down. This song is sung by Oleander but did you know that this song is also found on Loboto's computer in his laboratory in the Rhombus? It would mean that Loboto is a fan of All Paul too and it's fun to think about it. It's also a song about a breakup. In my opinion, this could be related to the fact that Oleander and Loboto no longer work together. If we analyze few lyrics from it, it can really be about them. “ When we met it was the best thing that I've known “,  “I gave you everything you asked” (Reference to Loboto giving Linda to Oleander?) and “Never worried it wouldn't last but we are”. Oleander probably never worried that it could end but alas... A turtle named Pokeylope decided otherwise by blasting his partner. A tragic and true story.

• They both like to dance. Loboto always takes those little dance steps that we see in the first game and Ror, when he turns on himself. And Oleander dances when he sings "Drag Me Down", proving that he likes it as well.

• Raz saw them both when they were young children in their minds. Also, the first level in Psychonauts is Oleander’s mind and the first level in Psychonauts 2 is Loboto’s mind.

That’s all about the similarities, now I’m going to talk about the three games.

Psychonauts:

• In the first game, they worked together and they had a lot of fun together. 

Just... Look at them.

They are just completely evil together. Partners in crime, after all.

• Loboto was very excited about taking over the world, too. In this cutscene where we see him talking with Lili we can clearly see his excitement over this. So, Loboto also wanted to be a part of it. Imagine, if he and Oleander had succeeded... The world will be complete chaos! Full of teeth and brains!

Rhombus of Ruin:

Although they do not interact in the midquel game, there are still some crisp info.

• Loboto talks about Oleander saying he has "a touch of halitosis". Halitosis is bad breath. Given their size difference, how does he know? Loboto is like... Twice Oleander’s height as you can see in the picture below.

To be realistic, I think that since Loboto is a dentist he most certainly wanted to check the condition of Oleander's teeth and realized that it was a complete mess. Or maybe he kissed him and that’s how he knew.

• Loboto will say that he doesn't want this "little fellow" (Oleander) to learn about his new client. He thinks he wouldn’t like to know he was moonlighting. Why does Loboto care about it? Suspicious.

• If you don’t enter his mind at immediately, Loboto begins to speak by himself by saying dialogues of events he has experienced from the past. And he talks a lot about Oleander. He says: “That army man... What was he thinking? Psychoblaster Death Tanks?” and he laughs. But his laugh is natural, it’s not an usual crazy laugh like he always do. He also says: “Are you trying to impress girls... OR TAKE OVER THE WORLD? And you do NOT want to know what kind of gas mileage those things got.” which is... very funny to me.

• Oleander is the one who will come with his psycho-portal to give it to Raz. So in a way we can say that it is thanks to Oleander that Loboto has his moral compass back.

Psychonauts 2:

We don't know a lot about the game yet but a demo was released last summer, in June 2019, I absolutely love it. Loboto and Oleander interacted in it.

• As you can see in the pictures above, Oleander put his arm around Loboto. (Did he touch his butt?!) And he is very friendly towards him. I know they're supposed to be "acting" for Loboto to reveal who his boss is. But let's agree... Oleander is way too friendly with him.

• Oleander calls Loboto "Cal", not even Caligosto or Loboto like the others do. He calls him by a nickname. First name basis is a very friendly thing.

• He says to Loboto that he is going to love that vacation package and that he’s jealous. And then he looks at him and his eyes shine. I honestly think he’s the one who make this little package, by the way. He also looks very proud of him.

• He also says “Maybe he doesn’t want those tropical vacations after all!” and “Hurry up or I”ll take those vacations myself!” he teased him at least twice.

• And he acts very “gentlemanly” toward him. Just look at the pictures above.

Oleander is a true, a real... GENTLEMAN! A man of good manner, I see.

• Bonus: Loboto vision. Oleander is... SO SMALL!

• In another scene, Oleander and Raz face a censor. Oleander begins to explain to Raz what a censor is and what they do, everything seems to be fine until he gets to the "Don't belong" part. Oleander realizes this and displays a sad face. He even looks at the ground, for a second, in silence as if he was thinking of something. Maybe he feels sad because Loboto doesn't see him as a friend but a threat and that's why he looks so... thoughtful.

• In this same scene, he begins to flee. (Colliding with a chair, by the way) He is certainly fleeing because he does not want the censor to expel him. Leaving Raz to take care of all the work.

Name a better duo than Oleander and this chair, I’ll wait.

That’s all about the games. Now mind if I share two... Headcanons?

Headcanons:

• I think Loboto and Oleander are the same age and that they were born in the 50s. Which would mean they lived their childhood in the 60s.

Let's talk about their parents.

First of all, Oleander’s dad.

When I did my research, I wanted to find out what a butcher looked like in the 60s and this is the image I found.

Pretty similar clothes to the ones Oleander’s dad wears.

See? It honestly looks very similar.

Now let’s talk about Loboto’s parents and especially about his mom.

Image below is how dresses looked in the 60s.

And this is Loboto’s mom:

It’s the same kind of dress...

...So,  Loboto’s parents and Oleander’s dad are from the same time. 

And by "time", I mean the 60s.

Even the clothes Oleander and Loboto  wore when they were kids, have 60s vibes, in my opinion... So! This would mean they’re the same age or around the same age. If we assume that the events of Psychonauts are in 2003, it would mean that in the events of the games, they are either in their early 40, or in their mid-40. Even late 40 or early 50 if they were born before 1955.

• My second headcanon is that I think they know each others for years. The legend of the monster in the lake (Linda) is apparently very old. And we all know who made Linda looking this way. It was Loboto. So, it would mean that Loboto and Oleander have worked on that for a very looooooooooong time. That would also explain why Oleander calls Loboto “Cal” in the PN2 demo. Because they were friends since a very long time. Maybe they even knew each others before that. Could be honestly cute if they were childhood friends, to be honest.

...Well! That’s all about my analysis. Their relationship sure is interesting and if you’ve read the whole thing then... Thank you! I wonder what will happen to them exactly in the second game. I could see them being a team again honestly. They fit so well together and not especially in the romantic way. I think that they could be a great team. Maybe they will both win the employee of the year award in Psychonauts 2 and going to tropical vacations together? Maybe even they will explore the world instead of taking over it? We’ll see!

[watchathon]

The 2nd Day of Christmas

In case you’re finding this post just by browsing the tags I’ve used, this is the Watchathon, a blog where I watch a movie or TV show with a short blog post where I write down my thoughts as I watch. Each new thought starts with a hyphen and a bolded first word.

- Like so.

Right now, I’m doing the 12 Days of Christmas, a 12-day-long Christmas special where each day is a different Christmas movie or special decided by a randomizer. And today... *clears throat*

 On the 2nd Day of Christmas, the randomizer gave to me...

Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation! Boy, between this and Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer for the 1st day, we’re really starting off with a bang of nostalgia, aren’t we? Phineas and Ferb was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, and I know the same can be said for a lot of you. 

And seeing as I loved Phineas and Ferb so much, I always looked forward to the Christmas special airing on Disney Channel. It was my favorite cartoon and my favorite holiday, both rolled into one! But does Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation still hold up after all this time?

...Yes. Yes, it does. Before I even watch it again, I know the answer is yes. The rest of the series holds up, why wouldn’t the same be true for this special?

But why does it hold up? What did I miss as a kid that I’ll notice as an adult? Let’s find out as I present to you, my thoughts on Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation:

(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: I wrote this quite a while before the 1st Day of Christmas and all other Days of Christmas, as I didn’t have a copy of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer at the time. Hence why this post uses the old format of me just writing down my thoughts as I go with a separate Final Thoughts section.)

- First things first, the theme song. Oh, I just adore the normal theme song. But this festive variant just sends tingles down my spine, starting with an intro sung in the style of a Christmas carol.

- I never thought as a kid that I would end up relating to Candace so much. I mean, not in terms of gifts for romantic partners (aromantic pride!) but I’ve known my little sister all her life and even I have second thoughts about the Christmas gift I have planned for her. That’s not even getting into Christmas gifts intended for friends...

- Linda really knows how to distract Candace from gift-getting anxiety, huh?

- Aw, Candace, don’t be so mean to your little brothers! Of course they believe in Santa, they’re only... hmm... Maybe, like, ten? Eleven?

- Of course Phineas and Ferb idolize Santa. We’re talking about two little kids who can and will do stuff like building rollercoasters or traveling the entire world in just one day.

- Now I’m just wondering what was on that piece of paper...

- Even the Perry the Platypus theme song is getting into the Christmas spirit!

- D’aww, Perry’s smile is so cute when the snowman comes to life~

- I wouldn’t expect a death in this show, let alone this show’s Christmas special...

- The OWCA Christmas Party looks like a ton of fun.

- Isabella’s stolen catchphrase sense is tingling!

- What Does He Want?: This is a great song about gift-getting stress, and the perfect musical number to give to Candace in a Christmas special. I am so glad that Disney+ has the extended version of this special, ‘cause I couldn’t imagine missing out on this.

- This is just the kind of thing that I’d expect certified cinnamon roll Phineas Flynn and his brother to do for Santa.

- I like the jingle bells in the background of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. jingle.

- I Really Don’t Hate Christmas: Boy, this is the perfect villain song for a sympathetic antagonist come the Christmas special. I mean, if he did hate Christmas, it would just be so hard to see him as at all nice. 

Especially if, say, he found himself in a position of authority where he was expected to celebrate Christmas and it was somehow revealed that he (at best) was incredibly irritated about Christmas...

Jokes aside, though, this is a nice Christmas song for Doofenshmirtz. 

-  I like that Phineas and Ferb are getting not only their friends, but the entire town of Danville involved in their plan.

- Candace Flynn, master of deception.

- Wow, that’s really quick delivery on Dr. D’s Christmas wish!

- It’s so sad to see Phineas getting the news that everyone in Danville has been counted as naughty, especially when Candace says that it was his fault for the plan to thank Santa, and that he and Ferb have been naughty all summer.

- Even Perry’s annoyed by the Christmas carols.

- Where Did We Go Wrong?: This song is the big tear jerker moment of the special, right here. Maybe one of the top saddest moments of the whole series.

- I wasn’t expecting the elves to be this small!

- I like this explanation of how the Naughty and Nice Lists work.

- Did Santa get Perry that Sal Tuscany CD just to foil Doofenshmirtz’s plot? How did he know about the plot? Why did the partridge untie the lights around Perry just as Doofenshmirtz turned up the volume, is it, like, a secret Santa agent and that was its cue?

...Okay, I’m so overthinking this.

- I don’t know how I forgot about this, but it makes so much sense: Phineas and Ferb’s solution to Santa not coming to Danville? To take over for him.

- Buford’s Christmas wish is so sweet. I would’ve expected him to wish for some big (and expensive) Christmas present, but at the end of the day, all he really wants is for his friends to think of him as nice.

- Christmas Is Starting Now: This is such a good song for the climax of the special.

- I like this scene of Phineas, Ferb and friends meeting Santa. Much as I enjoyed the idea of them taking over for Santa in Danville, it would’ve felt like there was something missing if they never actually got to meet Santa, if Santa never actually went to the rest stop or saw the giant “Thank you, Santa”.

- This scene of Jeremy and Candace exchanging gifts is so romantic. It’s reminiscent of the old “Gift of the Magi” story, but with a happier ending.

- This is a great song for the end credits. It’s just so wholesome to see everyone celebrating Christmas, even some minor characters that rarely show up like Meap, or running gag characters like the farmer and his wife.

- And we end with the revelation that the snowman didn’t die. He presumably went on to live his whole snowman existence for the rest of the winter, and all that happened before was a close call with a produce truck.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I was positively right about this Christmas special holding up. It has the same laugh-out-loud sense of humor that any episode of Phineas and Ferb does, combined with a healthy dose of the wholesome Christmas spirit.

Nobody has a sad ending in this special. Even Doofenshmirtz, although he lost, got his Christmas wish: A reason to hate Christmas. And that’s something I appreciate, that everybody got what they wanted on Christmas day.

It’s just... pleasant. Watching this special, feeling the spirit of the season with the characters I know and love.

...Though, I am left wondering what’ll happen when I eventually cover Phineas and Ferb for this blog. Maybe I’ll just reblog this?

[jonghours]

WONDERLAND (very) deep dive + why Wonderland ATEEZ are Dark ATEEZ + possible Say My Name explanation

first of all, please have in consideration we barley have any puzzle pieces to put this together, so I don’t have definitive answers and I might change my opinion in the fututre! with that said, in this post I want to present three theories:

WONDERLAND position in the timeline

Why WONDERLAND ATEEZ (WonderATEEZ) are Dark ATEEZ

Why I believe Real ATEEZ are hidden in WONDERLAND

Where does WONDERLAND fit on the timeline? 

bluntly put, the very beginning. 

I want to approach this from the album point of view. ATEEZ themselves said this albums is the one that represents their worlview the best.

1. Lyrics

this album, like other ATEEZ albums focuses on ATEEZ following their light, and keeping promises. now, my theory on this is that their light/treasure is ATINY, and the promise is that they made to always come back to us, almost literally, no matter what. this ties with ATEEZ’s concept of coming back in time over and over again to reach for their light, because it’s never enough, and this is the meaning of WONDERLAND. some examples from the lyrics are:

You gonna stop here? This is what you’ve really looked for (WONDERLAND)

Follow the light that unfolded countless times before the beginning (Dazzling Light)

My compass is your whispering* (Dazzling light) (referencing the voice they mention, which in my theory is ATINY’s voice calling for them just like the “Call Me” in both SMN and ANSWER)*

Do you remember? The promise I made to you that I would never stop // What would I be if I hadn't met you? I was looking for you across time [...] I promise I won't stop (With You)

Now, I think that all the MVs we’ve seen don’t belong in the same universe, maybe not even in the same timeline. I believe they are actually interlocked universes, because of what Seonghwa said (again)

“we can’t tell you all the MVs that take place in a parallel world” implying that there are more than one.

to be honest, some ATEEZ MVs seem very different from one another, but I just brushed it off, even when I realized that WAVE/ILLUSION are the only ones without the classic trasure font. and then with this:

my theory that I’ve been missing the changes solidified a little. I’ve actually got a new theory about all that, but for the sake of this post I won’t go into detail. I needed to say this because it’s important that I make it clear that maybe nothing is linear like we believed. 

to make it simpler, my theory is that the timeline goes:

WONDERLAND → HALA HALA/Say My Name → Treasure

WonderATEEZ come from a timeline we haven’t seen develop, we only know the outcome of it, dystopia, whihch might be explained in the next comeback. now, WONDERLAND represents starting anew, going to a better place, and also escaping, but more of that in a minute

when asked “if WAVE is Hakuna Matata, WONDERLAND is...?” Hongjoong said this

WonderATEEZ might be on a quest to stop “Real ATEEZ” form becoming like them. maybe WonderATEEZ/Dark ATEEZ succeded and that’s why they are making a toast at the end of ANSWER. maybe they are hijacking another journey. 

Fill up your greed, let’s have a toast (WIN)

maybe their purpose was to put real ATEEZ in the ILLUSION 

later on I’ll touch on this again, I don’t want to overwhelm you now. and I said, I don’t have all the answers to my own theory lol  I’ll also explain more about the illusion in my upcoming Yeosang post. 

now,  PRECIOUS.  PRECIOUS represents ATEEZ’s worldview, following your dreams and starting over no matter what. in this album we only have an overture, which literally means “a beginning piece”. 

now, we all realized it sounds like TREASURE, and that was even meant to be its original name. Hongjoong’s lyrics here are also almost the exact same that he has at the beginning of TREASURE

2. The keyhole teaser

the very first WONDERLAND comeback teaser picture was this, alongside with the text :“ready for next journey”, which is pretty self explanatory.

this ties with my theory that WonderATEEZ are the prequel and reason to be of the TREASURE timeline. Treasure is the timeline they re-start.

Why do I believe WonderATEEZ are Dark ATEEZ?

there are very subtle yet telling signs, so I won’t dwell too much into them

1. The glove and hat movement in the choreography

which are pretty easy to tie to Dark ATEEZ in HALA HALA. 

2. The masks

there is no doubt these two are parallels, fancier, but almost the same. also, these didn’t appear in the MV, almost as if their only pourpose was to be used as a reference

3. Seonghwa

during the WONDERLAND comeback stage, there is a moment that replicates the moment Seonghwa takes off his mask in Say My Name. same gesture, same pacing

now, finally to the more confusing (for me) part of this theory. I literally came up with this as I was writing this post, so sorry if this seems rushed. I still don’t know how this would tie with everything else, but as Hongjoong said, there is no way for us to figure anything out yet, so, there it goes

Why do I believe the “Real ATEEZ” from SMN are in WONDERLAND’s dystopia?

to put it simply before going into details: I believe that the ATEEZ in suits in WONDERLAND are the ones who become Dark ATEEZ, while those who aren’t wearing them are the ones who become the Say My Name “Real ATEEZ”. maybe they come from yet another timeline and were trapped by the suited WonderATEEZ to stop them from their own journey. now, as to why I just had this epiphany:

1. Theme and parallelism

if you remember what Hongjoong said during their comeback stage, Say My Name is about a group of people that come together with the same goal

now, this is something I noticed time ago, but Say My Name and WONDERLAND are the only MVs in which the members are separated before coming together at the end. WAVE as well, but only almost, so that’s why I’m not counting it.

also, the ATEEZ who aren’t in suits are by themsleves, or in some cases even isolated.

there is where the “Yunho leading the members” instead of controlling them shows up. he might be trying to get them all together to escape.

they are wandering the endless maze of stairs that I believe represent the different parallel worlds. yet, they are unable to run into each other

Yeosang and Seonghwa literally look like they are escaping from a prison

now little by little, they come together, still going through the endless stairs, just as Jongho seems to find “the one” bathed with a light at the end

and that’s when the door starts shinnig, bringing a blinding light to them. the door that had Seonghwa, Yeosang and San trapped at the beginning opens as well.

and then there door opens completely, right before the suited WonderATEEZ go wild into the last part of the song. maybe provoked by Real ATEEZ escaping? starting their march to follow them to that parallel universe and hijack their plans?

and so like they do here, they repeat in Say My Name, coming back together

3. What Seongha said (again)

he said this is a very secretive and teasing tone while talking about the tracklist. to me this sounds like he’s saying that them, as “Real ATEEZ” didn’t sing the songs, because thye were an ATEEZ from another universe, AKA WonderATEEZ/HALA HALA. maybe in the future we’ll find out some lyrics were supposed to be sung from the point of view of “Real ATEEZ” that had been dragged into darkness by WonderATEEZ

I've arrived here in this darkness, there is no one here // In this place that shined in my dreams. Where are we? // I’m looking for light, but I’m losing it again. There’s no way to light. This is the end // Find that other sparkle and reach for it. Open the door, and the answer you’ve been looking for S.T.A.Y // In your eyes I see another me // Tell me who you who am I // Follow the light that unfolded countless times before the beginning (Dazzling Light)

3. The double albums

in this album, there are two versions. one of them has suited WonderATEEZ while the other one has what as I’ve been saying I believe it’s “Real ATEEZ”. in that version, ATEEZ are in predominantly red sets (as I mentioned in another post, a color tied to Dark ATEE) while being bathed in a faint light.

also, while looking at behind the scenes for their photoshoot I found an old friend

the Say My Name horn. however, it doesn’t show up in any of the pictures, and I haven’t been able to spot it in the MV, but it was there

4. The epilogue

going back to the ANSWER stage, the epilogue, we are briefly shown previous MVs. the ones that show up when Dark ATEEZ are asked “are you evil?” are WONDERLAND, Say My Name and HALA HALA

now, about this last Wooyoung picture I’ll explain more deeply in the future, very soon! 

so far this is all I’ve got!

[lesbianbernardsumner]

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

[sweetgirl-haz]

My Top 10 Kdramas

I was reading @overthinkingkdrama‘s list on her top 10 kdramas thus far and that got me thinking about mine. It’s been a while since I’ve evaluated my favourites and their ranking so thought it’d be interesting to check in. *frantically checks mydramalist completed list*

The problem is that after most dramas, I forget the characters and stories. There are many dramas that I have rated 10/10 right after having watched them many years ago but now I cannot remember what exactly I liked about them. There are some I remember because they’ve been rewatched multiple times. So do I include the ones that I’ve rewatched/are more recent that I remember or the ones from a couple of years ago which I remember enjoying but I’m not really sure why?

Let's start with notable mentions. These are rated 10/10 by me but I couldn’t fit all of them on the list so .....

Notable mention 1: Dear My Friends

Somewhere after the saeguk phase and before the crime thrillers phase, I was in a slice-of-life phase of kdrama watching. I picked this up during then. There aren't many stories that are focused on the lives of older people. They aren't that well represented in dramaland apart from the sweet/mean grandparents. This was such a heart-warming drama that made me laugh and cry. It was slow paced and probably boring for some but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved the friendships and the relationships between the characters. Their stories were so touching and heartbreaking at times. This drama was very realistic, calming and meaningful. I definitely want to give this a rewatch some time in the future. 

Notable mention 2: Tree With Deep Roots

A couple of years ago I went through the saeguk phase. I think a particular mindset is needed to watch a saeguk (or 10). You know it's going to be heavy, with multiple characters and intrinsic details. There won't be many fast forwarding opportunities without missing key plot points. This probably explains why I haven't picked up a saeguk in recent years - I cannot commit to it. This show is far from the romance genre, it is a saeguk about Hangul. I remember it being an incredible story with brilliant characters and mix of fiction and history. And with 24 episodes, never once did it get boring. What a performance by Han Seok Kyu! Jang Hyuk and Shin Se Kyung did a wonderful job too, plus there a short performance by Song Joong Ki. Time for a rewatch?

Notable mention 3: The Princess’ Man

What I vividly remember is me crying whilst watching this drama. I shed too many tears. Too many. The story can be compared to Romeo and Juliet - two people who fall in love in spite of their family's bitter rivalry. I remember it being well written with a balance of romance, drama, action, suspense, friendship, betrayal, war, politics and revenge (the usual mix really). Probably the best work I have seen of Park Si Hoo and Moon Chae Won. They did brilliantly individually and also together. Great chemistry. I wish I remembered more. Writing this list will tempt me to rewatch all of these. Cannot recall specific songs from the OST but I think I have a few in my Spotify Korean OST list.

Notable mention 4: You Who Came From The Stars  

I think I am the most upset about this not being in the top 10. The reason for it not being in the top 10 is because I did rewatch it a year or two ago and it wasn’t as enjoyable as the first time. 

Shall we start right at the beginning, with the intro. I loved that intro and despite being a serial fast forwarder, I made sure to watch it at the beginning of every episode. This was the first show where I thought the female lead was relatable. Jun Ji Hyun was vulnerable, sweet, goofy, not the smartest in the room and she made Song Yi so real to me. I loved her more than Kim Soo Hyun in this show. I loved the internal/external monologues she would have with herself. As a couple, they had incredible chemistry and remain to be one of my favourite on-screen couples. The story was complete and flowed well. I liked the second male lead and the side characters too. 'My Destiny' by Lyn is still one of my most memorable and most listened to OST. I'm not sure why I didn't enjoy it the second time. Writing this is tempting me to rewatch this gem.

Notable mention 5: Her Private Life

I have to agree with Deok Mi: Kim Jae Wook is so annoyingly beautiful. 

The female character was particularly relatable to me. I am a fan girl (not to the extent of the character) and a life outside where people don't really know the extent of my fangirlness. This has to be my favourite (truly) rom-com. There are so many things that I loved here, but what made the drama that enjoying were definitely our main leads Sung Deok Mi and Ryan Gold. Park Min Young and Kim Jae Wook's chemistry was so natural. I loved how mature their relationship was - they sorted out all misunderstandings quickly and acted like adults. There was no pointless drama. The leads tried to understand each other and also give the other space. Ryan Gold seems like the ultimate male lead, he has raised those standards even higher. Side note to appreciate Deok Mi's wardrobe. Those pant suits were gorgeous - I wish I could pull them off. I guess there was a lack of real obstacles and conflict. But I liked that for a change.

10. Queen In Hyun’s Man

The premise was interesting and story was executed really well. A truly romantic drama. The mix of old and modern world was done so well. Yoo In Na and Ji Hyun Woo are absolutely adorable together. Love this show.

9. Bridal Mask

GAKSITAL! I was raving about this drama to everyone who would listen to me. I think this drama is a masterpiece. The amazing storyline with complex characters, excellent actors, epic cliffhangers, and breathtaking music (that loud/epic tune still rings in my head). The storyline was engaging and each episode always left me wanting more. The story is unique and I love how it explores a different part of history. The friendship and conflict between the two male leads Kangto and Shunji is the heart of this show.

8. Rooftop Prince

Every time I think about this show, I'm reminded of the comedic and quirky scenes of the characters adjusting to the modern world (post time travel obviously). I like how the stories in the old and modern world are integrated. There is a shift from romantic, light hearted comedy to sad and melodramatic later in the show. The sad scenes were truly heartbreaking. Enjoyable watch, great acting, wonderful OSTs that I still listen to!

7. My Wife is Having an Affair This Week

Another slice of life drama. I loved how the show explored marriage, relationships, cheating and divorce. It was only 12 episodes so didn't drag at all. The characters are so complex and human and the story is so beautifully written. Song Ji Hyo and Lee Seon Gyun are amazing as the leads, portraying every emotion of a struggling couple from start to finish. You need to go in with an open mind to watch this show.

6. 49 Days

Everyone has that one show, which isn't brilliant but somehow touched your heart and you love it despite its flaws. This is mine. 49 Days has a unique story and I knew I was going to be crying as I come to love these characters. I did cry, lots. I cried each time I rewatched it. I cried because it was sad and it made me so frustrated that life was so unfair to these characters and they're not going to get the happy ending that they deserve... The writer stayed true to their vision. It wasn't all rainbows and balloons at the end with loopholes to give each character their happy ending. I think I love this show because it really pains me to watch these characters and their lives. I really came to love Jung Il Woo and Lee Yo Won. LOVE the OST.

5. Signal 

What a story! And the execution of that story. Amazing from start to finish. I can still hear the sound of the walkie-talkies in my head. One of the best crime thrillers I have seen. Cases were well paced. The mystery would leave me at the edge of my seat every time. A couple of the cases were REAL cases, which was terrifying but brilliant. The music was mellow and fit the scenes so well. This show and the ones below were truly an experience. Loved the actors and the acting.

4. Father is Strange

Ah another phase of my - the family drama/soaps phase. After seeing a couple, I didn't go into this show with high expectations. It has the typical family drama elements: illegitimate son/birth secrets, sick family member, horrible in-laws, evil side character/bully. What made it stand out from the other shows was how the characters dealt with these issues. It wasn't the same as previous shows, the characters were more mature and real and dealt with these issues in a more progressive and refreshing way. The show also touched on issues including parenting, bullying, marriage, career vs pregnancy and societal pressure. I was so invested in everyone's stories and arcs. Lee Yoo Ri though. My favourite character, she made the show for me.

3. Reply 1988

This is such a nostalgic, true-to-life trip from start to finish.  Reply 1988 exceeded my expectations, after Reply 1997 it was hard not to. What made it stand out from the previous Reply series was the focus on family and friendship instead of the romance. This meant we got to know EACH and every character and feel what they were feeling. The story isn’t fast paced with big ups and downs. It depicts the true day-to-day life, which made it feel even more real. I didn’t expect to cry as much as I did in this drama. And it wasn’t because someone was dying. They were the small acts, unsaid things that truly touched my heart. Junghwan’s and Jung bong’s terrace scene watching stars, Jung bong in the hospital, Bora leaving to go to the hostel, Dong ryong wanted to spend time with his mum, Sun woo’s wedding invitation to Taek’s dad, Bora and Bora’s Dads letters to each other, etc etc. I truly felt like a part of the Ssangmungdong community. Even though I didn’t enjoy the ending, this would be one of my favourite dramas ever. The length of the episodes and the ending has stopped me from rewatching it but every once in a while, I think about how beautiful this drama was.

Also, as an epilogue to the show, everybody should watch Youth Over Flowers: Africa.

2. Healer

Ji Chang Wook. That's it. Do we need to say anything else. Solid romance, great story, brilliant action scenes, gripping, wonderful OST, good acting and JI CHANG WOOK. Love this show. Ji Chang Wook. Watch it for him.

1. Age of Youth

This is such a precious show. I have rewatched it and am planning to watch it again for the nth time. This show really defines slice-of-life. I am sure everyone watching this drama could relate to one of the girls or even just a situation faced by the girls. I was able to relate to different situations and aspects of many of the girls personally and also have seen other friends/family facing similar situations. I was really glad that the plot focused on the girls the most and not the boys. It didn't take a detour. It was consistent. This show touched my heart in the way no other show probably will (for now atleast). The relationships were realistic. The casting was perfect - Age of Youth 2 was great but changing the actor changed the dynamic for me. The music was beautiful - I still loop 'Butterfly' by Sogyumo Acacia Band. I have no complaints or flaws for this show apart from it being too short.

Just realised I've left Forest of Secrets/Stranger out of this list. EURGH let's add that in somewhere.

If Be Melodramatic carries on the way it doing, it's going to be in my top 10.