#something interesting i think is happening too is that as gen x reaches middle age they are more honest about that parallel

[yepthatsacowalright]

“When I asked Phoebe Bridgers about the band's reputation for giving voice to a certain strain of middle-aged male angst, she said, ‘Something middle-aged men and teen-age girls have in common is the act of finding yourself, and being kind of self-conscious. Maybe some beliefs that vou've held on to for a long time are finally being shed. The teen-age girl in me is obsessed with The National, and feels very spoken to and seen by them, maybe for the exact same reasons that they speak to middle-aged men.”

- The Sad Dads of the National

[justsomewritingsandshit]

The Struggles of a Male Veela (Part 5 - Selene’s Got A Date)

Louis Weasley x Soulmate!OC

Length: 3190 words

Warnings: soulmate!au, altered ages of next gen, female OC, Hunter Parrish as Louis, fxf date, mentions of sAd bOI hOuRs

Part 5 of this series | Masterlist | Part 4 | Part 6

Selene has never been fussy when it comes to dating – for her, (so long as the person expressed an interest, didn’t seem oddly clingy, or overly possessive) anyone was game. So, when the attractive Mari Singh (of Ravenclaw house) asked her out… well, she said yes.

Mari and Selene had been ‘classroom friends’ for years, so she had supposed it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. Their rapport was friendly enough, and Mari was an attractive girl, so there was no real reason to say no.

Plus, Selene happened to know that she was the first girl that Mari had asked out since her coming out over the summer. Selene felt that she had a sort of duty to treat Mari to a wonderful time, setting a good example of what Mari should look for in a partner, should she choose to date again. Too many people let themselves be in bad circumstances, simply because it’s all they knew, and Selene wouldn’t let Mari’s kind soul be one of those. Selene wished she’d had a person do the same for her, when she was younger. It would have saved her a lot of broken hearts.

In the end, the two girls arranged it for their date to be the first Hogsmeade trip, which was on the last day of the month. The two of them were going to end up spending their entire time there making awkward but friendly conversation, and drinking butterbeers – there was never much to do in Hogsmeade, after all.

If anyone was asked to go off and experience Hogsmeade, they’d come back and say that it felt as if the village had been unchanged for hundreds of years. Contradicting that analysis was the known fact that many of the buildings were only two decades old, as some of them had to be repaired after the war. And, the war memorials and plaques in the middle of the village were only a few years old themselves.

Despite the newer builds, the town was one of the oldest magic-only communities in the United Kingdom – there were much older communities in remote areas of South America, Asia, and in concealed tribes all throughout Africa, though. There wasn’t much to the small town, just a joke shop, a sweet store, a few small trinket shops, a pub or two – basically; nothing much for the teens whose only chance at an off-campus activity was a monthly trip there.

So, yeah, dating at Hogwarts was kind of the worst.

Louis didn’t find out about the date, until what he would consider the last minute.

On the eve of Halloween (a Friday that was surprisingly mild for the season), Selene and Louis found themselves once again at their usual haunt – a large, wooden table located in the back of the ginormous hall that was the library.

Said teens were staring intensely at the parchments clasped in their respective hands. Louis’s happened to be a letter from his mother, a long winded one that was reminding him to try and ‘stretch’ in his veela form weekly – the fact that she went on to describe how it may feel similar to a female’s period was why he was contemplating an attempt at trying to burn it with his gaze. Selene’s parchment held the notes that she’d taken down in Charms earlier that day – at that moment, they weren’t making any sense to her.

“Louis? This new Charms stuff, I don’t get it. Help me out over here?” Selene’s interruption was received warmly by Louis, as Fleur Weasley (nee Delacour) had, in her lengthy letter, began to describe the severity of her monthly flow to her teenaged son.

“Go ahead.” Louis eagerly ditched his parchment to the side, one-hundred-percent ready to never read it, ever again. “Was it the wandless stuff we started this week? On Tuesday?”

Selene sent him a confirming nod, going into her dilemma, “If I’m casting a charm like ‘protego totalum’, how am I supposed to control what I’m casting it on? It’s, uh, pretty important that it’s cast on the right thing.”

Louis was momentarily distracted by the way her brows furrowed together in obvious confusion, sending his mind spiralling. By the time he managed to force his stupid veela brain to focus, he realised that he had succeeded in the task of being weirdly silent for close to a minute. If there was a wizard-god, then Louis prayed to them that Selene would just think he was seriously contemplating her question and coming to a slow conclusion. “I guess it could be one of those charms that are always going to require a wand. Or, you can just think super hard while casting.” Louis let out a breathy chuckle.

Entertaining this thought, Selene muttered, “I don’t know what wizard-kind did before they realised they could use a wand.”, as she flipped over her parchment.

It hadn’t been a real question, but none the less it had amused Louis to think up an answer to it. He chuckled, crossing his arms on the table to rest on, “I can just imagine it was a bunch of people awkwardly performing ‘accidental magic’, like when we were kids.”

His words caused Selene to laugh too, as she pictured people in old-timey clothes waving their arms accidentally and setting something on fire. “The first person to use a wand must have been like; ‘what?’!” Selene’s face got slightly warmer, as her breathing was interrupted by her chortles, “They were like ‘Bartholomew,” Louis had to cover his mouth in order to hide the snort of laughter he produced at Selene’s excellent impression of the ‘Bloody Baron’. His uncle’s impression was nothing on hers. “Thou hast pick-ethed up a stick, which doth work well-eth’ at mastering thoust powers’.”

Both of them had stomach cramps, trying to contain their laughter. Louis had tears building up in his eyes, and his face was turning red. Selene had doubled over, laughing mostly silently, the only sound being her inhaled breath and the slapping of her had against her knee. Their ‘quiet’ laughter was eventually drowned out by the librarian’s shrill cry of, “Get out of my library if you’re not going to follow the rules!”

Hurriedly, the two of them pack up all their belongings, erupting into occasional giggles every time the two caught each other’s eyes. They burst from the library’s entrance, and the Gryffindor and Slytherin stumbled along the large corridor. By the time they’d reached the end of the long hallway, they both decided it was best for them to start making their way to their respective common rooms.

There was calm silence for ten minutes.

Eventually it was broken. “So…” Louis’s shoulders were hunched over a little, his hands looking as if he’d shoved them as deep as he could, into the pockets of his school trousers. Making himself look smaller was his main way of coming off across nonchalant. However, the only thing he looked, was uncomfortable. “The, uh, first Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow. Are, um…” He paused to inhale some confidence, “Are you going to go?” Louis wanted so bad to shout out, to ask (or even beg) her to go with him on this trip. The sixth-year could imagine it now; the two of them wander the lanes of Hogsmeade together, their noses getting redder the longer that they’re out in the cold… their breath visible and intermingling, as they get closer and closer… maybe, a kiss? Oh, Louis wanted nothing more than that.

“Yeah, I-” Selene argued with herself. She shouldn’t have felt uncomfortable (awkward?) telling Louis about her upcoming date… and yet, she did. Which was absurd, because they were friends! “Uh… Actually, I have a date.” Merlin, Selene’s stomach squirmed. She felt awful admitting this to Louis, even though there was no need to, at all. Her nerves made her ramble, “With Mari Singh, from Ravenclaw. I think she’s in your Transfiguration class?” Selene went on, her mouth moving a mile a minute, but Louis heard none of it.

The blonde boy felt like he’d been physically hurt, despite knowing he certainly had absolutely no true right to feel as pained as he did. Selene Morgenstern was his soulmate, sure, but she didn’t know that. He hadn’t informed her that destiny (and, he guesses; his veela instincts) had fated them to be together. Plus, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t let on about his romantic feelings towards her either.

The Slytherin was her own person, and as such; allowed to date whomever she wanted…

But Louis was allowed to be upset about it. Even if it was irrational to be so. Boys (well, really, he’d insist that he was closer to a man, now) could be emotional too! However, he wasn’t going to expose said hurt feelings to Selene. He was upset by her words, but they were just friends… just friends, even if he did have different sentiments towards her.

Everything Louis Weasley had been taught by his family as a child was blooming into fruition in this moment; good friends support their friends – no matter the personal consequences.

As if the gods above had granted him lee-way, Louis’s turning to go up to the Gryffindor Common Room was fast approaching. “Well, uh, you have a great time! I’ll see you later!” Hastily exiting the situation seemed to be the only way to end this conversation, plus Louis was finding that his eyes were quickly filling with tears, and he didn’t want Selene to see them.

“Uh, thanks, Louis! See you!” Frantically waving at the back of the already turned-away boy was not the way a cool and collected Slytherin behaved. For love of Merlin, why was she acting like this? In true Slytherin sentiment, Selene ignored the way her stomach clenched up the moment Louis was out of sight. “Ugh, I need to get more sleep.”

Louis spent that night clutching his pillows tightly to his trembling body, desperately trying to not burst into his veela form. It was exhaustingly difficult to hold on to his human form, as his veela’s desire to fly away from all the pain he was facing was almost too powerful. The teen was virtually bursting at the seams, due to the effort it took to hold back this side of him.

His heart felt like it was under an intense pressure, as if it was being compressed. And his skin was positively feverish! Every pore along his body was asking for relief. Every muscle fibre itching for some form of freedom that only his veela form could give to him.

And to think, Louis had bitterly mused to himself, all this because I’m jealous. Louis knew, deep down, that he had no true reason to be jealous, or hurt, or sad, or angry. Selene was not his. Not his girlfriend, nor anything more than his close friend! The girl was her own woman. One who can decide for herself who she wants to love, and whom she wants to date.

Still… His acknowledgement of this fact did not miraculously send him into recovery.

Louis remained lonesome and feverish through the night.

There was a problem with Selene’s date.

Or, rather; there was a problem with Mari Singh – well, not really.

Okay, so the issue was with Selene. She was positively sure that there were a dozen other places she’d rather be, than on this date with Mari. The Slytherin clearly did not feel one iota of a romantic stirring towards the bird.

Now, that’s not to say the other girl was not lovely! Mari was smart, pretty, and rather funny - an all-around kind person.

Still, Selene found herself wishing that she was not the one opposite the Ravenclaw in the Three Broomsticks. And, that wasn’t to say it was an awful date! Not at all. It was a… nice affair. They talked over a butterbeer, and giggled at each other’s stories... And, yes; the conversation had been (sometimes) intelligent and (somewhat?) interesting.

Selene just felt like something was missing from it all, though.

“I was like; ‘why does this always happen to him?’!” Mari let out a chortle at her own story. It was a rather long-winded, yet deeply hilarious, anecdote of her families’ latest vacation. Her father apparently fell off a dinghy that the whole family had been sitting in, right into the arms of what may have been a hairy man (or, perhaps, a large bear), whilst not even in the water yet. “Anyway…”

The two female students had slowly been making their way back to the castle. And, now they were standing at the crossroads of where they’d each have to turn away to go to their separate common rooms.

Before Mari could even say anything else, Selene had to be honest with her, “Mari, I had a nice time today, but, uh, I have to be frank with you… I like you as a friend, Mari, but I-” Selene paused, to place her hand on the Ravenclaw’s shoulder and to carefully choose her following words. “I, um, I don’t feel for you, romantically that is.” Mari’s face began to crumble, “I’m sorry, but I had to be honest with you. It would be cruel for me to get your hopes up like that. You’re my friend but sparing your feelings now would only hurt you later. Right?”

Mari mulled the words over, but finally nodded her head softly.

Selene removed her palm from the other girls’ shoulder. She felt obliged to offer up some information that might soften the blow she’d just been dealt, “Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to Naomi…”

Mari’s head tilted to her left, “Gnomes?” It was a cute nickname Mari had for her roommate, fellow Ravenclaw Naomi Gardener. “W-Why would it be unfair to her?”

Selene heard the thinly veiled excitement in her voice. It was well-known within the female population of their respective year-group, that Naomi Gardner fancied Mari Singh. It was true that pretty much everyone knew that, but only Selene heard said information first-hand from Naomi. “Well, Naomi may have mentioned something to me… But it’s probably best to ask her about it.” She leant forward, pressing a friendly peck to Mari’s cheek, “Thank you for a lovely time, Mar.” Sending a wink to the girl, Selene began to walk away. “I hope we’re still friends, Mari! Good luck!”

Louis didn’t expect to see Selene the next morning.

Not because he assumed that something… like that... would happen between the two girls. No, not at all! Rather, Louis was surprised to see Selene, since he had decided to try to avoid her altogether.

Also, the idea of seeing her in the boys’ bathroom was incredibly surprising.

“Um, hello?”

Carefully, Louis angled his entire body away from the approaching teenaged girl. As quick as he could he tucked himself away and buttoned up his trousers. Due to his complexion, the flush on his cheeks was all too visible. Even knowing she could see the blush; he tried his best to act casual as he walked over to wash his hands. Selene was in his peripherals the entire time.

“So,” Louis shook his hands out, getting them dry enough to wipe against the fabric against his thighs – he didn’t even think about using his magic or wand to dry them. “Uh, what brings you to the men’s bathroom?” Before he could embarrass himself, he tucked his hands into the back pockets of his trousers. It was an attempt to seem casual.

Selene let a faux look of sadness creep onto her face, “Well, when I saw you practically running down the hallway when you saw me coming, I figured I should check on you.” She rested her shoulder on the wall to her right, “After all, I am a good friend.”

Louis’s was sure that his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Even though he knew that she was being a nice person, a great friend, his veela hindbrain was absolutely screaming at him. Surely that meant she was accepting the bond! Checking on her mate, right? Merlin! Louis had to snap himself out of those thoughts, because they weren’t facts. He knew first-hand that not thinking truthfully only damaged your own feelings.

“I- I just,” Louis was tongue-tied now. How exactly could he explain that he didn’t want to hear about her amazing date with bloody Mari Singh? “Well-”

Selene cut him off, not wanting to hear any of his poor attempts at lying to her, “I wanted to vent to you, about my date last night.” She rushed out first, before pausing. The Slytherin was gathering herself, choosing her next words carefully. “It was alright.”

The male noticed the lack of enthusiasm in her description of the event. His stomach lurched in awkward excitement.

She let out a quiet laugh, “You know… I was going to talk to Emmaline about it all, but-” Her head lolled to the side as she thought hard, “But I don’t know, I just-” Eventually, Selene pushed off the wall she was leaning on and strolled closer to the him. “I guess I just really wanted to talk to you.”

Louis was sure that he wasn’t breathing. “Oh.” In fact, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t been breathing for Selene’s entire speech. “Okay. Yeah... Alright.” Taking his hand from his pocket, he gestured over towards the exit of the bathroom, “Shall we, then?” Yes, that was normal. If only his heartbeat could chill out, too.

Luckily for them, there was only one first year in the otherwise empty hallway. Said single first year awkwardly still stood, deer-in-headlights-style, as they witnessed the two elder teens exit the boy’s’ bathroom together.

“So,” Louis was trying his best to seem calm, “It didn’t go well?” He paused, before clarifying, “Your date, I mean.”

The two of them were back in the school’s library. It was during a shared free period of theirs, and like always Selene and Louis were nestled together at their table. Heads were pushed closer to one another than strictly needed, both attempting to talk as quietly – they were in fear of the librarian, who had already given them both the most scathing look when they’d walked in talking.

“No, it was fine.” Selene answered him, her lips twisting into a grimace as she thought over the date, “Nothing awful, it just - it didn’t feel right.” She played with the quill in her hand, “I guess when I’m on a date, I want it to feel nicer than a ‘fine’ or ‘alright’.”

Louis nodded, understanding what she meant. “True.” There was silence as the blond wrote down a sentence or two on his parchment. He could feel the tingle of Selene’s eyes watching him do so. “So,” He began again, “No second date, then?”

Selene averted her eyes from his form, pretending that she didn’t catch him observing her from the very corner of his eye. “Not with Mari, no.” She looked down to her work, and unbeknownst to her Louis did as well.

Both had smiles on their faces.

TAGGED:

@iamwarrenspeace, @itsnolongerteen, @stilesloverdaily, @immortalmurphy, @fandomsandotherstuff, @mcheung0314, @aw-hawkeye, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @thenodmonster, @realgreglestrade, @seninjakitey, @theshortegg, @gqlqxies, @footballiskillingme

[kuragecharms]

One(1) whole ramble about being INTJ

It’s weird to watch videos about INTJs from the perspectives of other types, in all honesty. Sometimes it feels as if there is a whole lot of very shallow stereotyping going on, other times it hits the nail right on the head and I’m laughing. 

Of course, MBTI is not a personality quiz, it’s a thought type indicator. But there ARE some common shared experiences. So I guess it’s nice sometimes to realize that others have the same struggles as yourself. I’m gonna talk a bit about some common categories and labels placed on INTJs, and kind of...rant about my experiences with (or without) them. :>

The INTJ “death glare”

One thing that almost always gets thrown in on some sort of comment is the “infamous INTJ death stare.” I realized this about myself over a decade before I even heard the term MBTI breathed aloud, in all honesty it was a big stumbling block.

My natural instinct is direct eye contact. I don’t naturally show a lot of emotion on my face, etc. It’s a learned behavior because honestly, it’s more efficient to fit into some social status quos in order to be understood better, right? Saying it that directly can sound cold or calculating to some people, but it’s the truth, as far as I’m concerned. The whole “just be yourself!” thing works.... IF you are naturally charismatic or have a grasp on socialization tactics. Or if you are surrounded by people who can more naturally understand you. But for a rare type, for a highly introverted, independent, often over-opinionated blunt speaking female? The truth of the matter is, no matter who I’m dealing with, there’s some level of adjustment going on. I think that’s why i was drawn to languages from a young age. The prospect of conveying complex thought in another venue entirely was appealing to me. Being understood is a goal. I picked out patterns of speech from the internet, from books, from those around me, and would apply them (often quite consciously) in order to get my points across. In debate forums, I was often praised mostly for my ability to convey what others had been thinking, but in a clear to understand format. That was because it was my whole goal.

I remember being really young, like...less than ten? I think I was about 6-7 years old. When my parents would rebuke me for something I’d done, I would sometimes cry. That’s not a necessarily strong stereotype for INTJs, but it does happen. I felt things really deeply, and never knew how to grapple with them when a strong emotion interrupted my play, so that’s the best I can describe it as. Eventually, I got told to stop crying so much, so I would steel myself for such rebukes. Now, my natural instinct is to meet someone’s eyes. I know this, even though sometimes I doubt it because of the strength of my learned behavior. But I distinctly remember BOTH of my parents pausing in the middle of getting after me to say, “Why are you looking at me like that?!” and I would ask, “Like what?” They usually didn’t have a very good description of what the look was, but the gist of it was, I suppose, that it looked like I was judging them. I don’t know why this bothered them so much, because at the time I wasn’t usually striving to be petulant (although on occasion the look came about when I was thinking about the unfairness of my punishment). My mother (INFJ) was particularly bothered by it, especially because she was the more involved parent. Sometimes, it really seemed to throw her off, to the point that we got off the topic of the immediate punishment, and I was told to watch my attitude on things. Which, in retrospect, is fair. You don’t want an egotistical child. But I was confused because I didn’t see it that way. The world was always one to question, and my mother raised me with that philosophy, but there was a limit to it that I hadn’t felt out quite yet.

I did understand, though, that my expression was discomfiting to some. It happened with more frequency, often with my siblings. My younger INFP sibling would sometimes cry when I would look at her with any strength of feeling, and say that I was glaring or judging. Very rarely was this intentional, I promise.

When I reached high school, I would sometimes examine my own expression in the mirror or in photos. I don’t think mine is a very harsh face in general, so the accusations were confusing. But I decided I needed to adjust. It was easier, not only to avoid the ‘glare’ of judgement, but also to control my own emotions, if I didn’t make too much eye contact. I started to deliberately look away from people’s faces after a few seconds, because I wanted them to know I was listening, but also that I wasn’t focusing in too harshly in order to judge them personally. It seems to work, so it’s something I’ve kept with.

But lately, I’ve been wanting to focus on being truer to myself, and get back to the roots of my own natural self, and re-establish myself with the added information I’ve learned over the years. I want to make eye contact, even if it seems intense. My natural instinct is part of who I am. If I’m truly engaged by a topic, my learned behaviors weaken, and I realize I make much eye contact. I lean in and I pay 100% attention to the conversation at hand. The majority of the time, I don’t make eye contact at all, both because of my investment in the topic but also my gauging of how much eye contact I can make with the other party without infringing on their comfort level. I want to care about this less. I’m well aware I can be too intense of a personality for some, so I can withhold or gauge myself in most instances. But with this, I think I should be allowed a little more natural habit.

The Know-It-All/”Too Smart”

In uni, I wasn’t AFRAID to answer questions, but I rarely did after the first semester. I was just being myself and came across as a know-it-all or pompous, because I was nervous and focused on the class material, which some people weren’t (admittedly, it was gen eds, so it isn’t a commonly attractive set of courses anyways). I started setting goals before each class, like, “You should only answer three questions at most for this class.” and such like that. It wasn’t really to make others like me, as I already had established that reputation and I didn’t make moves to change it. But it was because I had to adjust, to improve, to better blend in.

When I DID answer questions, half the time it was to help other classmates. I’d look around and realize others weren’t getting what the professor was saying, so I’d raise my hand and state something like, “When you say X...do you mean that Y?” and I would elaborate Y as a more relatable, easier to digest phrasing or simile. The professor would often be a bit confused, but I’ve literally heard classmates around me go, “Ohhhhhh” with realization. Things went a bit smoother after that. I was seen as studious, but less pompous.

I’ve never thought of intelligence or logic being partial to female or male, or emotions being preferred by female or male, until I interacted and socialized more. Naturally, my instinct is to not distinguish. I grew up homeschooled, in a family where the boys and girls boy cooked and cleaned and cried, and we were ALL avid readers. My natural tendency to debate was often rebutted by my older brother, and I saw us on equal ground.

In middle school, I saw the huge difference in the way my father treated my brother and I (we’re both INTJs) and how hard this was on him. He was told not to have emotions, and for an INTJ? We already struggle enough with this. Being told not to cry at much, after all, instigated a huge self-study in my own expression and aura. 

Looking back, I was pretty naive about it. I wanted to prove myself as strong as my father and brother. I did this physically (my relatives know me to be the girl who pushes in to help move furniture. It’s caused some pretty sexist debates, in all honesty) emotionally and psychologically. I wanted to prove that there was no difference between my brother and I, and I tried very, very hard.

I’ve since come to terms with the fact that the difference in treatment had more to do with my father’s underlying sexism and not much to do with my own competency, or my brother’s. I’ve accepted my own strengths and still see us as equals, and I have nothing to prove to anyone else in regards to that. Rather than proving anyone wrong about me, I do it because it’s efficient and positive to take care of things on my own and for the sake of my own independence.

I’ve been told, however, that I’m “too smart” for a girl. I’ve been literally told that I’ll scare men off with my words. I’m normally quiet, in person. But when broaching a topic of some knowledge or interest, I will instantly just explode with thoughts or theories, discussion and debates. I’ve exchanged 2-3 messages with a person before going off on a multi-paragraph rant (via text) about MBTI and its common misconceptions.I’m just like that. I don’t see it as showing off my intelligence but an opportunity to engage with others in a mutually educational environment.

Again, I see myself as not having anything to prove. I’m no astrophysicist. I suck at math. I’m good at English. I like talking about things I’m interested in, but I know when I’m not an expert or have insufficient knowledge. But it can be very disheartening to know that just being my natural self and actually being engaged without holding back constantly is seen as an attack on someone else’s ego, or that I’m scaring people off. I want to engage with ideas and such. If everyone is intimidated by me, with my speech and my eye contact, then those opportunities are lost. 

I know what I know, so I feel confident. But I also know how much I do NOT know, so I feel humbled and eager to learn. I don’t see that as a character flaw, although many would paint it as cockiness.

INTJ’s organization/strictness

It’s another common trope. I’ll see people talk about INTJs being rigid about things, unable to admit that they’re wrong, distant or set in their ways, liking the routine. I find some of this true, but not most. Because this is getting a bit far into the personality side of things, rather than a thought type, the way that most people apply it.

Do I like things organized? Yes. Am I organized? Sometimes, just like anybody. Do I like to know what’s expected of me? Hell yes. Am I unable to adapt (for example, if I’m talking with someone more emotional )? That’s just limiting. As I said, socially speaking, I HAVE to adapt. I’m well aware of being the minority. Most people don’t wanna say, “Hello, let’s analyze film cinematography for fun” they wanna get to know each other on topics that I, frankly speaking, find dull. I have to fight to pay attention to half the conversations I have, I have to nod and make noises to acknowledge that I’m listening CONSTANTLY. That’s how it is. I can adapt. I’m not always as flexible as I’d like, and to err is human. But INTJs are box-people, I assure you. 

But man, do I fucking love spreadsheets. I love using succinct methods to help introduce others to MBTI, for instance. I have condensed explanations of the letters and typing help and such, all prepared. I have lists of people I’ve typed and it’s color-coded. It goes along with that efficiency of explaining to others my viewpoints. :> If I’m easy to understand through my words, I feel I’ve succeeded in a task.

I think the part where I get the most rigid and immovable, is when it comes to planning social time. I’m very withdrawn and I’ve discovered over the years that, even when I’ve learned to adjust, my ability to socialize is still very limited and EXTREMELY draining. Given that INTJs are, on the gradient scale, among the very utmost independent and introverted, this isn’t so surprising. I have to gear up for social interactions, and often this takes hours of mental prep. I spend most of my time on a computer, writing down my own thoughts or organizing things, rather than interacting. I keep my cell phone IN MY HAND during new situations and social events, almost the entire time. I’ve learned that if I can pull away and, say, check my messages or Twitter, it pulls my head out of the socializing (even if just for a few moments) and let me reassess and recharge a bit. Am I actually tired, or just need a bathroom break? Am I done for the night, or is my leaving a bit too premature? Constant interaction with anyone outside my immediate family is draining, even if I’m enjoying myself and having a good time. (With my family, I’m more blunt, easy going, and very positive, I think. I tend to be physically clingy and talk a LOT more freely) So I have to gauge myself, and I can feel myself getting overdrawn sometimes.

Even just running into someone by accident at the store can jolt my energy levels. I’ve been known to duck around corners if I see someone I know (even if I like them, generally speaking) because I wasn’t ready for an interaction, mentally.

Now, when I know what’s expected and how much socializing I need, I’m fine, and very dedicated. I had a monthly social meet up with my friends in Japan, and I liked that. I LOVED it, actually. I knew about how long I’d be out, when I was expected to show up, and once a month filled my social meter pretty well. It was with a close-knit group I could be fairly comfortable with, and my warmer sides had a chance to shine.

At work now, I’m garnering a reputation for being independent. I do my tasks early in the evening, usually, and then I’m fine being at my desk for 4-6 hours even if I don’t see or hear from a living soul. One coworker informed the shift manager that he didn’t even need to check up on me or anything, that I was perfectly fine on my own. It was stated like it was something worth note, although I saw it as natural. lol It was a bit amusing.

The organizing thing is kinda true, though. I recently decided to respond to a YouTube comment (a very, very rare experience) and I actually bullet-pointed my reasons why the original commenter was mistaken, in order to make myself more succinct. lol When I replied I had to laugh at my own actions.

Other/misc.

Among strangers, I rarely speak my own opinions or thoughts at any length. I can work in a place for a year and not reveal anything more than what is asked of me. This can cause problems. I often have a lot to share with others, whether it’s creatively or in theories or advice. I have many thoughts, but... my “efficiency” stamp and also my increasing self-awareness of others’ perceptions of me, holds a lot of this back. It’s not like I particularly blame anyone for this, it’s really my own decision.

But to me, I’d decided that if someone ASKS me about something, then they care enough to know the answer. If I mentioned my work once, and someone asks about it, I’ll answer them. If they want to know my thoughts or feelings on something, I don’t hesitate to start formulating a reply. I have a thought on MOST things. BUT, if I’m not asked? I assume it isn’t on their mind as vital enough to get an answer on. I wouldn’t want to bother elaborating a whole goddamn essay when they weren’t interested, right? That’s when I get the “Wow. lol You wrote a lot.” and no thoughtful response, which is disheartening when I want to exchange ideas and got excited or invested. 

So if they don’t ask, it’s not that I exactly hold onto it or get bitter. But I take that as data for gauging future conversations. If a friend of mine isn’t interested in a fact about me, I don’t offer similar data in the future.

For example, I don’t really do much to celebrate my birthday anymore. i explained to my mother that being the center of attention and getting a lot of OBLIGATORY wishes of good will is not how I feel special or loved. I’d rather get to sleep in, eat what I like, I’d rather spend quality time with people, or relax. Usually this means not going out or anything.

Now, if someone wishes me happy birthday? That’s fine. I don’t get a whole lot out of it, but... it’s still kinda nice? But I hate when people do it purely out of obligation. So my resolution to this was to remove my birthday from Facebook. The only people who wish me happy bday are those who already know me and that date, not because FB reminded them of an obligation. 

I have no problem telling people I’m a Capricorn or such, or a winter baby. But I usually don’t give the exact date of my bday because I don’t want others to feel pressured to remember it or care too much about it, or feel guilty if they missed it. If they ask when my birthday is? I’ll tell them. If the day comes, I don’t hide it. But I think that those who would genuinely care about wishing my happy birthday come along, that they’ll ask,and then I can offer that info. This kind of logic goes across the board, really.

To some people, this is seen as manipulative. I’ve been accused of ‘testing’ my friendships and their sincerity with this, or being passive aggressive. It’s not really my intent, but because of the accusation, I try to re-evaluate such behaviors and try to ensure that these truly ARE my reasonings, and not because I’m secretly seeking attention or validation. 

~~

It’s hard to be understood as an INTJ, I suppose. There’s a lot more than goes into this. I know MBTI isn’t a 100% thing (all psychology is a soft science, anyhow) but I like to use MBTI as a sort of helper, or key, in understanding commonly misunderstood behaviors in me. I know it’s helped me navigate social interactions a lot, and I’ve grown as a person because of it. 

One common problem I’ve had is...well... basically anything in the realms of emotion. That fucking Fi tertiary function, goddamn it. lol 

It’s hard to explain, but the easiest way I’ve found is to tell people that sometimes my emotions “are on a delay.” For example, I’ll go to an event with my friends - like a concert - and I don’t have much exterior emotions about it. My ESFP friend is literally jumping up and down and screaming, while I feel like all my enjoyment is trapped inside my body, and my body won’t move and dance too freely. I’d rather stand very still and enjoy the music, even if I’m having just as good a time. I’m too busy internalizing things to ‘let go’ as the ESFP would. lol

As another example, when I first went to a haunted house, I did enjoy my time there. But emotionally? I wasn’t sure until like two or three days later, when I was thinking back on it. I didn’t know if I’d go again, or if I had fun, or if I liked it. I knew the experience, as I’d lived it, but my FEELINGS on the matter didn’t get processed for a few days. This seems odd, I know. But it makes big emotional events that I get up to very hard to process. Going to Japan, I didn’t properly “feel” excited to be going until like a week after I got there. lol 

One sign that I’ve really enjoyed myself or am emotionally worked up, is that bc I don’t externalize it, I get a headache. After the haunted house, because I hadn’t screamed or let out any outward stress or emotions, everything was bottled in during processing, and I got a really intense headache from it. Recently, I met an online friend of mine in person for the first time, and I could tell I was excited, mostly because my head started hurting once I picked her up.

It’s hard to really explain what that sort of experience is like, but it’s the best I’ve come up with so far. My brain is still processing how I feel about things. This gets confusing when you’re having an argument with a friend. If I feel MORE emotional about a topic, I tend to withdraw and speak more bluntly, and more objectively. This irritates the fuck out of a lot of people, who think I’m shutting down on them. What’s really going on is that, I feel emotionally compromised, and I want to make the argument PRODUCTIVE and EFFICIENT. So I look for a solution to the issue, and doing so requires focusing on the facts, with the way my mind works. “Okay, so you feel the chores aren’t fair. What would you designate as a fair amount? Then who will take care of this?” It sounds accusatory, so I have to phrase things in questions, instead of demands, because I’m trying to find a solution, not attack. I don’t mind conflict, if it’s productive towards improving a situation. 

When I do get emotional? It’s a fucking mess. But even then, I often shut down the emotional side of things and bury it until I’ve processed it and can examine it later. This delay often means people are disappointed by my lack of reaction to certain things, or feel like I don’t care as much as I do. Which usually isn’t the case.

This also means that a lot of relationships, I’m focusing more on the benefits or chemistry of, and I guess that makes people put INTJs on a pedestal? I could elaborate on that and how it’s affected a lot of my relationships, resulting many times in friendships where the other person gets very dependent on me for affirmation or help, and feels closer to me than I feel to them. But... I guess that’s for another day. lol

Essentially, I guess, some stereotypes have their basis in the truth. But I feel like life as an INTJ is a lot more nuanced, especially those that genuinely seek to improve themselves through the understanding being INTJ in a world where we’re rare, rather than just inflating our egos immaturely with the TITLE of “the scientist.”

[seanmeverett]

Transforming the Stock Market Into A Game

Introducing ‘The Base Code’ personal hedge fund product

I. Riding the Rollercoaster

The stock market feels like a rollercoaster. It’s the chunk, chunk, chunk on the way to the top and then a quick drop down the other side. Because human emotion is more affected by fear than greed. Greed is slow. Fear is fast.

You can see this in any historical stock market graph. In the one below you see the housing bubble crash took almost no time, but it takes forever for the market to build back up to another all-time high, as it is today.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average over the last 10 years ($20K high today, $7K low in 2009)

What’s interesting about human behavior, however, isn’t that we have emotions. Rather, it’s how they impact our perceived rational decision making.

Buy low, sell high.

Everyone knows that old saying. But only Warren Buffett has managed to pull it over off decades. Because everyone is so caught up on catching a wave or timing the market, the end up doing exactly the opposite.

Right now, people see the market at an all-time high and think, “I don’t want to miss out on what everyone else is doing!” and then they go ahead and buy stock at their all-time highs. Any rational person sees that and thinks, “well that’s silly, what goes up must come down”. But we’re not rational. We’re emotional.

So how do we combat against that?

Well, we build a product that flips the graph on its head and when the market is high, it seems like the world is collapsing. But when the market is low, it looks like it’s high and you need to get on the money train.

That’s what The Base Code is all about.

II. Foundational Matrix of Tech Investment

Before we figure out what to invest in, we first have to get a sense for the operating system of life. What will humans have to pay for, even when they don’t want to. Because of survival. We’ll look at it over the long term and through the lens of tech because that’s where much of the automation and disruption is going to occur.

Computation & Data Processing: GPUs (NVIDIA)

Connectivity: global wireless and cellular data (T-Mobile / Deutsche Telekom)

Energy & Transportation: self-driving solar cars and interplanetary travel (Tesla/Solar City merger, SpaceX controlled by the same man)

Computing Devices & Health: Smart Phones, Computers, and connected health wearables like Watches, AirPods, and Glasses (Apple)

Information: knowledge search (Google)

Connection: social media (Facebook)

Commerce & Logistics: purchasing and shipping (Amazon)

With that, we have a pretty good sense of the market leader. Notice I didn’t include banking or biotech. We’re looking for bellweather bets. Most of these companies are still young and have much growth left in them.

View The Base Code’s Valuation Model to learn more about how each of these companies are valued in comparison to their current stock price.

III. Concepting the Product

Now that we have a sense for what to watch and potentially buy, we need a mechanism to get everyday people with only $50 to $100 per month ($25 to $50 per paycheck) to invest.

More than ever before, the fat middle of America is no longer investing nor participating in the stock market. It’s all pension funds and hedge funds and massive investors, not the mom and pop saving for their retirement.

As we move into the age of a new generation reaching maturity, entering the workforce, and beginning to think about saving for retirement, we don’t want them making the same mistakes previous generations might have made starting out.

So, we need to make something fun, with some tips to go along with it, that shows up in their inbox every so often, or notifying them in their social network of choice (Facebook Messenger Base Code Bot, anyone?)

Below is an example of one such mobile email notification, sent on, you guessed it, a Monday:

We put this original email together back when apple was trading at $90-ish per share based on our analysis we gave it a buy. Of course Apple is now trading at about $130 per share so if you would have taken our advice, you’d have made about a +40% return in half a year. Not too shabby.

The goal would be, in that email, to give you the answer and an affiliate link that clicks to open the Robinhood App directly to the Apple stock where you can immediately buy or sell the security. We also would include a link of the back-up analysis with a “Prove It” button so you can see how we arrived at that decision.

Because ultimately investing is about trust, but also about teaching a man (or woman) to fish. Eventually after enough of these analyses, you would start to internalize our analysis process so you can go out and apply it to different areas. Or not, you can simply take our advice cold and pull the trigger, knowing that your financial security is safe with us. All without paying any fees because we’d be using free tools like Robinhood and Openfolio.

Eventually you might have returns that look like ours. +70% over a single year by predicting trends before the rest of the market caught up. All by just putting a little bit of money in every paycheck.

Anyone can do this. Anyone.

IV. Product Mechanics & Brand Overview

Below are a few more of the philosophies and core components of developing The Base Code product.

In one word: prophecy

Color: emerald green, the stone of prophecy (http://ift.tt/2kwjxd9)

Millennial focused brand: fun, short sound bites

Email that goes out every every 2 weeks with actual investment trades that Sean has done (and a small link at the bottom that says “Prove It” if you don’t trust me blindly; eventually the goal is that you’ll just take The Base Code’s word for it)

“Prove It” example analysis for AAPL

Example email of tone (not the right UI or brand, obviously)

Partnerships with Apps for Saving & Trading

Digit (saving): Could also get people saving without them realizing it with Digit.co. (my referral link: http://ift.tt/2l0vUeF)

Robinhood (investing): Establish partnership with Robinhood as lead gen since we push traffic to them for their app. Eventually plug into their private API

Openfolio (social comparisons): integration with Robinhood to see how you’re performing against the market (S&P 500), all investors on openfolio, etc

Cheddar (learning): new video news channel started by an ex buzzfeed guy, sits on the trading floor and live streams news

Numer.ai (AI-based hedge fund)

Trading Tools Developed In House

The Base Code’s prototype tool for fundamental analysis

Monetization Strategy (Preliminary)

Give away blog posts and analysis for free on Humanizing Tech’s The Base Code

Give away fundamental analysis for free (maybe find a way to add ads later)

Subscribe for $5/month for real-time trades rather than getting the insights one month later

Gets around all the SEC requirements for a startup taking other people’s money and investing for them (teach a man to fish, as well)

Exit Strategy

Get acquired by Robinhood or another of the well-funded investment apps or even one of the long-standing companies like Morningstar

They have raised $66M from premiere VCs

How We Turn all of this Into a Game

UX as the main tool: Reverse the mind-set by flipping the graph so when the market tanks, you see it as a fire sale (Apple is 20% off today only!) and when it goes up, you don’t buy because prices are high (see below for what happened because of Brexit, it tanks, but now is actually the time to buy things cheap, not sell things at a loss)

Some type of social performance indicator to see how you compare against others (openfolio can exist as this at the start)

Potential Gamification Elements — WIP

Leveling up as you learn or use the product:

New users are given access the key tools only. Also if there are complex tools, need to find a way to break it down so it is more digestible.

Jira as a complete product is complex, but opening and closing tickets is really easy.

As users Level up they gain access to more features or tools.

Notification for Earning Money and Losing Money:

Earning Money notification makes users feel great.

Something Visual. Graphs for stocks are great, but if we did a graph and plotted how much users earned for a stock or for all their stocks on a graph users might be more attracted to keep going. Looking at stock prices is great and makes you smarter, but seeing a graph of how much I earn everyday is addictive (I read multiple stories on AMZ FBA sellers where sellers are addicted to the sellers app, because they see their bank account go up with each sale).

Losing feels bad, but if the loss is insignificant users will not mind trying again. If the user earns money on their next investment they will feel great and forget about that initial loss. I believe we can mimic the feeling of wanting to win the lotto or at a casino, but instead of stealing their money Sean makes the user smarter as they grow, so there is much more upside and much less downside as they learn.

Other Notes

Add a list of stocks that people should invest in that are in the $10 and under category. That way it’s easier and cheap for me to want to make my first investment. Stocks like apple and amazon might be too pricey for an avg person.

Maybe build the marketing voice to mimic the online gurus.

“I made X money since I have started without any formal education.” It is very salesy and pitchy, but seems to have a huge effect on people wanting to better their lives.

V. What’s Next

The benefit to Humanizing Tech is we get to concept many different products for how the future is going to play out. Things like EVERAE for finding luxury corporate gifts, things like The Base Code for trading, things like Biologic Intelligence for autonomous robotics, and on we go.

In this case, we don’t have time to build out The Base Code’s product so we’re looking for a scrappy young entrepreneur who’s interested in this topic and wants to build a startup of their own to help us with the concept and build.

Obviously we haven’t given away all the product mechanics of what’s required to make this successful and as is often the case, the devil is in the details, but it requires a leader to execute on it. We can help with the team, but you need to be committed.

If so, give me a shout.

In addition, if you’re interested in a product like this (and I know people are because friends and family reach out asking my advice on things like this), then also give me a shout. We might put a list together so when the product is ready you can be one of the first beta testers.

— Sean

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Transforming the Stock Market Into A Game was originally published in Humanizing Tech on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from Stories by Sean Everett on Medium http://ift.tt/2kXAThc