#something so brutal about excepting mistakes with pens has also been a huge thing for me and why I came back to traditional a few years ago

[platihbm]

Finally got around to trying out a brush pen for the first time. It's nice to come back to doing traditional art after struggling with digital for awhile.

[umikichi7]

kotoumi fanfic

Word count: 3109

Pairing(s): Kotoumi

Tags: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, teasing, it’s supposed to be just gag, #letsgiveitatryandimproveourengrish

You don’t need to take this serious and I don’t know why I wrote this. This week is my final exam week. Wish me luck.

I hope you enjoy this and sorry if there is any mistake.

You got a boyfriend?

Kotori was looking out of the window. Her eyes landed on the clouds over blue sky. The pen on her little hand had been rotating right to left sides as she was sighing over something that other muse members couldn’t interpret. Honoka was the first one who noticed the little birb was as if overlooking or searching for an answer for a long time, though her outer shell has spoken otherwise. Always smiling, never forgetting the pleasant aura she would always carry around her friends.

“We should do something!” A sudden hit onto the club table, Honoka got everyone’s attention at one milisecond.

Nico has already turned her back from looking at idol sites to her leader. Rolling her eyes, she got up and held her leader’s shoulders. “Do you seriously think she would ever need our help.’’ hesitating for a moment, ‘’ I don’t think it is such an important case to be talking right now.”

A serious atmosphere sank in, no one made a move except the blonde who held up Nico’s sleeve and slowly tugged along with a soft voice of hers. “Nico, don’t act like you don’t care. We know you care about her as much as we do for.“

After Eli’s little surprising confession, Nico’s pale face turned to Maki’s red hair? and no longer said anything to oppose. Honoka returned her leader mode again and her eyes beamed as the new idea dawned on her. “How about splitting into groups and observe what makes her upset?”

A classic Honoka-ish problem-solving case.

‘‘Great idea, Honoka-chan!’‘ Rin was the first to accept the idea.

As soon as Rin’s energetic answer was shown, everyone nodded

Except one person who always considered Honoka’s extraordinary idea once more to promulgate.

Umi knitted her brows, her expression was saying  this was not a good idea to be healthy one. At least for her ethical behavoir. ‘‘Honoka, don’t you think this is her privacy,’‘ She turned her head to Eli. ‘‘and I can’t believe you agreed such a bad idea, Eli.’‘

Eli didn’t even have to react. She grinned mischievously as she leapt from her seat to Umi’s near, holding her shoulder to start teasing. ‘’Nee Umi?’’

The proximity melted her stern gaze. She could only answer with a ‘‘Hmm?’‘ A pink blush covering her face.

Her lips approached Umi’s flushed ear. ‘‘Our great sweet archer Umi doesn’t want to know her little cute childhood friend’s secrets?’‘ Nozomi quickly nudged the blonde’s stomach rigorously, then Eli headed back to stop herself from teasing. She was sweating more than Umi because of the bad aura she got from the spiritual girl. Umi, though, was rather oblivious to what was implied.

‘‘W-why do I?’‘

No one has answered for a long time with the thought of ‘she might find the answer by herself later’.

–------

A long discussion between club members tired Umi. How could everyone agree to such a shameless idea? Maybe Kotori, herself found a boyfriend and she’d indeed need help how to date with him.. Wait.. What if it is really all about boyfriends?

Umi was rolling over her bed whenever her mind clouded with this kind of thoughts. She took her pillow to cover her head to prevent herself from thinking too much. Well.. it was concluded more of a shout out like ‘‘It’s all your fault, Honoka!’‘ into her poor pillow-chan.

She calmed down a little after, got up from her bed. The incomplete lyrics were waiting on her kotatsu. Scribbling on papers has always helped her nerve system whenever she couldn’t control her feelings because the pressure-kun and expectation-kun were her brutal enemy, but this case was different.

‘‘I need to ask her directly. There is something else that doesn’t feel right. Honoka’s method doesn’t take us anywhere.’’ She said to herself as she calmly returned to writing.

Next day, Kotori was first to head home when the practice was finished, putting a question mark to everyone’s mind more. Other members quickly gathered around Honoka except Umi. Her train of thoughts was following a different path.

‘‘Then it’s decided!’‘ Honoka rushed out from crowd and started to explain everything by gesturing how to stick to her so-called plan.

Eli, Hanayo and Nozomi nodded as a one group. They’ve gone to catch up the birb.

Other group had supposed to wait reports from NozoEliPana group, yet they agreed to exaggerate their plan since they were the Baka Trio… or that was what Umi was thinking at that moment.

Even though Nico was unwilling to join Honoka’s plan at first, she did wear her camouflage smocks, classic sun glasses and covering her mouth with a mask to examine Kotori secretly. Honoka and Rin came along with her in the same clothes. Definitely not drawing any attention-type.

The result was futile in terms of what she was doing behind them. It was still helping them to guess.

According to Nozomi,

At 5:07 PM, she visited an accessory store and exited there at 5:33 PM. The time range was quite long to look for something specific.

According to Hanayo,

At 5:34 PM, she entered a bakery, not Honoka’s. Then exited with a huge box.

According to Eli,

At 6:01 PM, she entered her house looking around suspiciously as if she didn’t want anyone to know what she was doing.

According to the Baka Trio,

At 8:15 AM, Kotori seemed to learn they were watching her and she left the place quickly.

The plan went partially bad thanks to HonoNicoRin.

‘‘One card would say..’‘

Everyone turned to Nozomi, the wise mom’s side. She closed her eyes, drew a card from the deck and opened it to the table.

The reverse ‘The Hierophant’.

‘‘It means good understanding, concord, overkindness and… weakness.’’ The last word did make sense to all since Kotori has been showing vulnerability and everyone knew that she had overkindness. The definition matched with this reverse card.

Hanayo began to speak when she got up from her seat. ‘‘So, the thing she bought from accessory shop is a gift to show her kindness to someone.’’

Rin added, ‘‘The box is also…’‘

‘’and suspicous behaviors..’‘ a voice came from Nico.

Eli’s excited expression told everything, ‘‘Then it’s-’‘

‘’Boyfriend!’’ she was interrupted by the energetic leader, but it was correct.

Everyone nodded. Umi left the clubroom without saying a word. Her bag and papers filled with lyrics were left. She didn't probably think too much at that moment.

She quickly ran to the home path where Kotori was walking directly. Not long after she caught up her on the bridge, panting hardly to breathe more. She leaned down hands on her knees, she waited to pull herself together. Then, at that time Kotori could notice the hard breaths on her back side. She quickly turned her face to the source, shocked to see Umi with sports outfit, and without her bag. Her hair was a mess, face was breet red from running and sweating too much.

"U-umi-chan!" the first word was spilled out as her hand sank on her bag to find a towel to get her sweats, and other hand was going for water, but Umi was not saying anything not because of out of breaths.

She was angry.

When Kotori found both things on her bag, she quickly held over to her. Umi did nothing, standing on there like a brick wall so Kotori started helping. "Mou Umi-chan," she murmured, "What are you doing like that?" wiping her forehead, Kotori faked a smile. The voice was lacking sincerity and normality of birb, it was rather in haste.

The amber eyes didn't want to talk to another, was what Umi thought. Her hand held Kotori's tightly enough to make her question the sudden move.

"Kotori!" she has not intended to sound loud, yet her voice came out rather annoyed and heartbreak. "Kotori, why don't you tell me what is happening to you in these days? Everyone talks big as of you left the clubroom earlier. You know, everyone watched you and you still pretend it didn't happen. Would you care to explain?" She inhaled and the last words came out softly. "At least for me." She was still holding her wrist though her eyes not contacting.

"W-what do you mean, Umi-chan? I'm fine and..." her eyes accidentally met with other amber orbs, her words died down in the way of speaking. So she couldn't continue any longer.

Umi's face grew redder as she concentrated more into innocent yet sad glances.

"K-kotori... I wouldn't believe such a lie from you. I know you hide a secret from us. You know you can always, always tell me. Remember when you said you go abroad? I-I think now, I can be more dependable so you can tell me!" as Umi assured Kotori to talk about whatever blew her mind, she felt relieved. Both felt relieved.

"Umi-chan, I don't want to bother you with my family issues or something else."

‘So, it’s that.’

Umi was not surprised since she had known her friend's predictions were blunt and making no sense after all. Actually she had exactly thought the core of the problem was her family if her teaser friends didn’t put meaningless ideas into her mind. Normally she never tried to get close to someone, even to her family members, but a sudden feel of overprotection reached its peak. Their hands united into one when Umi behaved uncharacteristically to get closer, trying to make her feel she wasn’t alone.

Her face got a lot redder than a normal tomato. "I- I don't want to meddle with your family issues Kotori, but at least let me try to help you getting yourself back. Everyone worried about you."

The thin air between their faces approached to almost nothingness as Umi continued to act a brave friend of her. "I'm worried about you...’’ Her eyes looked down. ‘’I- I couldn't do anything when you were going abroad and Honoka was the one who took you back. Ever since that day, I regret doing nothing to get my friend back and this feelings were on me everytime you feel down."

That was a brief moment when tears downed on Kotori’s eye corners as she hugged her tightly. The hands on Umi’s back knitted as if Kotori has needed this for a long time. Umi reciprocated as well.

Then it was suddenly stopped. Her face got back to normal, yet they continued to hug each other.

A voice from no-one-knows-where spoke loudly to interrupt. ‘‘I KNEW IT. I KNEW THE BF THING IS UMI-CHAN!’‘

Then the sound suddenly multiplied. No one seemed to notice her crying?

‘‘Maki, you have to give me 500 yen, you LOST!’‘

‘‘Ueh? Nico-chan, this is no longer a game. You see..’‘

‘‘OH MY RICE THEY ARE SO CUTE!’‘

‘‘You’re right, Kayo-chin. Rin is happy to see such a rare expression by them.’‘

Eli and Nozomi were in the group’s back. They applauded the scenery they have seen, making a parental expression on their faces as they mouthed ‘congrats’ to them.

Kotori and Umi froze, their face got beet red and Umi fainted because of lack of water on her body or... the scandalous moment of her life.

-------

Next day, Kotori explained what she’d planned to her beloved group.

Going bakery was because she bought a huge cake to give Muse members a gift for White Day’s and walking suspicously was because she didn’t want anyone to catch her what she was doing. Going accesory shop was because she wanted to give Honoka a special friendship necklace. But nobody questioned why she didn’t say Umi’s name in the friendship phrase. Umi made a wry face without herself noticed.

Everyone was as attentive as before since Kotori didn’t finish explaining. Maki has stopped twirling her hair. Even Nico didn’t look at her PC anymore. Rin was fidgeting on her seat as if waiting a ramen to be eaten. Multiple eyes focused her way.

Kotori was playing with hem of her skirt and eyes looking down. Others could say she was shy of what she would say in time. Her face color changed when she turned her face to Umi’s side and suddenly talked in the silence of clubroom. ‘’Umi-chan, can you come over at the rooftop? I- I need to tell you something.’’

Everyone giggled as some of them were commenting on the beyond meaning of Kotori’s words. Umi avoided bright smiles and teasing from her friends then they’ve exited the clubroom, leaving the door ajar. But Umi returned to say something, '’No one’s coming or I’m not going to regret what would happen from now on.’‘ she made that one scary and half-sleepy face. Everyone squeaked in their seat and got back.

When they reached to the rooftop, Kotori fell into Umi’s arms, strong yet tender while they were covering her body softly. Her head leant into her collarbone as the tears fell down on her face suddenly. Umi tightened herself around her.

Her expression though wasn’t surprised again.

‘’They are…’’ she sniffled then continued, ‘’They are going to divorce.’’

Umi was silent, she waited her words to be finished briefly.

‘’Papa is going to move out soon and I don’t know what to feel. I… I tried not to show you, Muse. Since this time of year is our best. It’s our miraculous time! I don’t want this to perish with one sad moment, our time together is limited so I decided not to tell our group. Everything has a limited time and now, m-mama and papa are out of this time.’’

Umi didn’t find any word to say, only listened few sobbing. ‘How could someone like you has to suffer?’ she thought as she gritted her teeth, closing her eyes to leave a space to think more. ‘Such a hardwork, cheerful girl like you don’t deserve this...You need to know everyone would support you…’

Umi looked down to clearly see her reddened face. The wetness on Kotori’s face signed itself to her collar as the fragile hands were still shaky weakly. She cried a lot. Umi’s face softened as her right hand pulled her bangs aside. ‘I want to protect your smile.’

She breathed deeply, then only one word spread from her throat.

‘’…Shame…’’ Umi mumbled.

Kotori didn’t seem to hear though. ‘’Umi-chan?’’

She said louder with much more vivid than Honoka. ‘’I said it’s a shame that you didn’t tell us anything about this.’’

Kotori was surprised to see Umi’s uncontrollable burst. Her composure was broken. The birb hasn’t expected that, but she didn’t need anyone’s sympathy either. ‘’Umi..-chan…’’

Umi took her shoulders by both side, the amber orbs focused on hers. ‘’The reason why Muse was formed is because we are all friends! We can share and say anything to each other and that shouldn’t be a problem. You thinking like that, that is a shame after all, Kotori.’’

It was too direct, and never felt like Umi-ish attitude, but its effect was quite powerful and sufficient to erase Kotori’s sadness over her face. All she needed was this maybe?

Kotori was surprised, eyes no longer low-spirited. ‘’Umi-chan..’’

‘’The past doesn’t come to our hands, neither future. We need to look forward and create ourself a new one, more memorable and happier one,’’ now holding her hands to reassure the best, ‘’To be able to do that, you first need to get rid of this...’’ As she said, she wiped the remained wetness off on her face with her sleeve, then flashed a warm smile. A mature one Kotori always needed by her side.

Their face heated up a little bit more as they realised how close their proximity was.

‘’C-come on, let’s go back to the others and tell them the truth. Don’t forget that I’m…’’ she stopped for a moment, ‘’We are here for you.’’

Umi turned back to the door and suddenly being stopped by a tug of her uniform. ‘’K-Kotori?’’

The words found their place in one line. ‘’Umi-chan, thank you!’’

Umi was glad to be able to see her vivacious nature come to a life again. Her mouth was open to answer, yet never found more to finish. It was indeed enough today.

Kotori though, kissed her flushed cheek. Umi could only put her hand on the kissed cheek. Now, as shocked as bird landing on a live wire with ‘’EH?’’

The birb held the sweating hand of the archer. ‘’As a thank you,’’ she winked as she stuck out her tongue.

‘That’s unfair.’

‘’I- you- we…’’ she couldn’t get over her words as her hands consistently directing herself and Kotori and both of them. She couldn’t face her right now.

‘’You know Umi-chan..’’ she turned to her, smiling, ‘’You also shouldn’t feel guilty about you getting me back. It is in past, now.’’

Umi’s face eased as she decided to walk with her to the staircase. The ears on hers.

‘’I just remembered talking with you always make me feel right and secure. It makes me when it’s with you. I think I…’’ Kotori felt embarrassed as her words couldn’t be finished in one sentence, but Umi knew where it was going so she pushed herself one more time to face her. Today couldn’t be much more embarrassing than ever.

‘’K-kotori, you never know what you do to me.’’ Clear words were not her type, yet her personality advanced enough to across her borders today. ‘’In the tradition of Sonoda, one such as myself shouldn’t acknowledge ‘recklessness’ in their dictionary. But you make me one to contrast them. I- I don’t know when you’ve gotten such a pure smile… and a sweet voice of yours engulfing my ears everytime I would want to hear, I.. I..’’

‘’ADDED 1000 YEN ‘CUZ I’M WINNING AGAIN!’’

‘’Nico-chan, wait!’’

‘’Kayo-chin, is your nose bleeding?’’

‘’Rice Gods want us to know this, we blessed!’’

‘’I knew my Umi-chan and Kotori-chan get boyfriend to each other. They are each other’s boyfriends.. Wait.. or girlfriends!?’’

‘’Congrats. Both of you can officially start dating.’’

‘’My cards don’t tell lie, right Elichi?’’

Umi fainted was because she couldn’t handle too much teasing any longer.

‘’Umi-chan, you ok?!’’

OMAKE

‘’Nee, Kotori?’’

‘’Hmm?’’

‘’I think I’ve one problem to say something to your ear.’’

Kotori leaned in, then Umi kissed her forehead. Her confession was made according to her plan. ‘‘I- I love you.’‘

When Kotori heard the words she wanted to hear, she clung on her arm and whispered the same words to her.

They walked around as a sweet couple with the strange group behind them with Nico’s spy clothes.

Typical Sonoda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kane-and-griffin]

HOT TAKE: 407 is one of the best Kabby episodes ever

Y’all I just finished watching 407 and I’m here to tell you I would like us to keep Ron Milbauer and Terri Burton, the new writers who penned this episode, FOREVER AND EVER because they understand Marcus Kane and Abby Griffin down the deepest marrow of their bones and I am here for it.

First of all, let’s start with the mother/daughter feels because GOOD GOD.  Remember “you may be the Chancellor, but I’m in charge”?  Remember that half-assed Polis hug last season?  Okay, now contrast that with the Clarke we got tonight, who ditched Roan at the Rover to do all the barrel-unloading so she could get to the lab and hug her mom sooner.  Let’s talk about how Clarke verbally, explicitly, canonically, needs her mother.  Let’s talk about Clarke worrying whether Abby is sleeping enough, being concerned that she’s not as fine as she appears to be, reluctant to leave her even long enough to take a shower and get something to eat because she just wants to be with Abby.  Let’s talk about Clarke understanding why her mother is so tormented by the decision to take a life and standing right by her side, full of unquestioning support and faith in her mother’s skills, even removing from Abby the burden of having to choose which of them is expendable.  Let’s talk about how few episodes in four seasons have shown us a Clarke who values and appreciates and respects Abby. 

Also let’s talk about the Kellamy of it all????  Like oh my God???  Let’s talk about how hard Kane has worked to put behind him the person he used to be on the Ark, and how long it’s been since he really, truly had to confront the reality that just wanting to be a better man doesn’t erase the things he did back before he was that man. Let’s talk about how two contradictory things can be true at the same time, about how Bellamy can simultaneously feel respect and affection and trust for the Kane he knows now and also never be able to erase the memory of what Kane did to his mother.  Let’s talk about the “I’m sorry” outside the Rover in the rain and just how many different things are contained inside that, how many things Kane is trying to apologize for.  Let’s talk about how Bellamy’s desperation to save those two stranded men because he’s afraid he can’t save Octavia is a direct mirror for the way Kane begs Bellamy not to go out after them, not to risk his life, not to get out of the Rover, trying to protect Bellamy as a way to atone for all the people he hasn’t been able to save.  Let’s talk about how this whole season has been chock full of delicious Season 1 throwbacks and this stark reminder of Ark!Kane is one of them.  Let’s talk about how Kane, who hitherto has had some beautiful material but not much of an arc, is now squarely in a position where he has to face the two different versions of himself: the man he used to be, who did awful things he still torments himself for, but was an effective leader . . . or the man he wants to be, who is kind and decent and loving and wants peace and believes in the goodness of people, but who has watched every single thing he tried to build get destroyed, from the Grounder truce to Arkadia itself.

Let’s talk about the possibilities Jaha brings into this - Jaha who made Ark!Kane who he was, in some ways that were genuinely terrible, but also has shown this season that he’s a demonstrably more crafty and intuitive politician, and maybe we’re about to see what happens when they recognize how much they need each other.

And let’s talk about Dad Kane and Harper, another kid who needs him, another person he’s trying to save.  Let’s talk about Kane the Chancellor, who never stops working for his people, who just wants everyone to be okay, who is trying so hard to hold this fractured group of broken terrified people together. Let’s talk about “who we want to be doesn’t always win,” about how he gets punched in the heart by his grieving son, saying something he’s been needing to say and that Kane has been needing to hear for a long, long time, which has forced Kane to look head-on at the man he used to be - a man he doesn’t like very much, a man who made terrible choices - and recognize that wanting to erase that past doesn’t actually erase it, but it’s still important that you try.  Harper did everything right and a man still died, and there is nothing he can say to make that right, nothing he can do except tell her, “This feels brutally unfair because it is brutally unfair.”  And yet he also needs her to know what he tried so hard to tell Bellamy, that sometimes there are people you want to save and can’t and it will feel like it is your fault but it is not actually your fault.

And let’s talk about Kabby!  Yes, we want them back together, yes, this separation is making all of us crazy, but that scene over the radios was absolute gold.  It was the most Kabby that has ever Kabby’d.  Let’s talk about how the plot requiring these two be apart is annoying, but necessary (Kane is the Chancellor and Abby is the science goddess and their stories are geographically separated for reasons that are clearly legit), and how a lesser show that gave less of a shit about their adults would just be like “welp guess they’re apart for half a dozen episodes, who cares,” but instead the writers have chosen over and over to treat that separation as a plot point.  To show us both of them dealing with that separation.  To see how the separation affects their relationship.  

Let’s talk about these two being married as hell, two fucked-up but emotionally mature adults in steady and grounded love with each other, who know each other on so deep and profound a level that it is heart-shattering.  Let’s talk about Kane telling Abby her greatest strength is her humanity.  Let’s talk about Abby knowing that Kane is the only person she trusts to advise her on a question this huge and terrifying.  Let’s talk about how her hands stop shaking when she hears his voice. Let’s talk about how the line in the trailer we hear her say to Raven is another one of those classic Kane-and-Abby-use-each-other’s-words-in-times-of-crisis . . . like “there has to be another way,” like “they need someone to show them the way out of the dark.” 

Let’s talk about how Kane goes straight from being confronted by Bellamy (“you floated my mother”) into a sober and honest conversation with Abby about how careful you have to be when you make the choice to take a life.  Let’s talk about how in that moment he is the most fully Marcus Kane he has ever been, he’s the warm kind man who loves her and he’s the adopted father trying to protect his children and he’s the Chancellor leading his people but he is also the man who floated Aurora Blake on the Ark and ordered the Culling, and she knows that, which is why she asked him.  

Let’s talk about how every single thing that makes Abby Griffin who she is (her humanity, her empathy, her brilliance as a doctor, her scientific mind, her love for Clarke, her abhorrence for violence, her desire to save everyone, her relentlessness, her deep intuitive understanding of Marcus) and every single thing that makes Marcus Kane who he is (the way his past never stops haunting him, his desire to save Bellamy from making the mistakes he made himself, his empathy, his protectiveness of the kids, his leadership abilities as Chancellor, his stubbornness, his implicit faith that Abby will always do the right thing) were on display in tonight’s episode, no matter how painful it was to watch.