#sometimes i feel like i've been whitewashed for growing up here and consuming media that more often than not places emphasis on white chara
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Vent in tags! Im sorry mutuals!!
#vent#it's probably a combination of 5am thought + no sleep + winter but#going through the same crisis of 'im too white and not hispanic enough'#sometimes i feel like i've been whitewashed for growing up here and consuming media that more often than not places emphasis on white chara#cters and that i've internalized part of that and havent realized#doesnt help how my mom is with certain people :grimacing:#unrelated but sometimes i also feel weird about how im so used to liking what my friends like and becoming more invested in that media#an example being souls games. but when i try to show them stuff that i like they dont vibe with it as much#and then i feel like a clown. and ik everyone's entitled to their opinion blah blah etc. but it feels a bit discouraging if i'm always part#icipating in people i care about's interests but them not doing the same w me.#rambling now but i dont want to listen to people arm chair diagnosing strangers on the internet however#sometimes i worry about being narcissistic or just being too full of myself and 'me me me'#imposter syndrom or whatever but i feel like im putting up a front and people dont really get that i can be really selfish#but i dont want to sound like a bad person bc im trying to work on it but self improvement is hard#i hate winter. summer has enough daylight for me to not fall into these thought loops
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