#unrelated but sometimes i also feel weird about how im so used to liking what my friends like and becoming more invested in that media

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[time-teller]

Vent in tags! Im sorry mutuals!!

[softhairedhotch]

DUDEEEE HELLO??:!:!::&: PLEASE I LOVE YOU, YOUR WONDERFUL BRAIN N UR RESPONSES???!! like sometimes i think damn my thoughts r sooooo filthy i wonder if anyone would even feel the same like am i crazy :-///.... THEN UR REPLIES JUST FUELS ME EVEN MORE ARGHRHHHHH LIKE??? im so glad we have the same brain like damn... i love talking abt him hehe rly.. thank u for entertaining my thoughts n making it even more amazing <333 also i hope u are feeling better now!!! 🫂🫂 tbh i feel the same bc the idea of aaron has made me feel better so many times n it's years since i started liking him :-(((( fr i never ever regret starting this show n falling in love w him 😭😭😭

"imagine just sitting there with him fully inside you, tie in your mouth, head on his broad shoulder, one of his big warm hands occasionally rubbing up and down your back as you hear the other write away" ‼️‼️‼️ PLEASEEEE omfg he'd feel so good and he'd make you feel sooooo safe 😭😭😭 i need this so badly . being on his lap would literally make all the painful noisy thoughts in your head go silent because all you can think about and feel is him <3333 though i don't know how i'd be able actually to be quiet n not be reduced into a whimpering mess because GODDDDDD HE'S JUST SOOOO..... my god. if u do turn this into a fic i'd probably be reading it 9784953 times n manifesting it to appear in my dreams 🙏🙏

and OOOOOFFFFFFFFF cannot decide if i would want him to make a mess all over me and use his thick fingers to scoop it up and shove it into my mouth or have him cum deep in my throat ! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like man.... the idea of messy wet sex drives me insane like having him a panting sweaty mess 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ n downright filthy cum eating . like my thoughts abt it are ENDLESS n its literally a can of worms im afraid of opening-- AWOEKFJFKEKD thinking abt that episode when aaron jumps into a lake to chase an unsub n he comes out of the water all WET N THE WATER DRIPPING DOWN HIS SKIN??? I CANT REMEMBER WHAT EPISODE IT IS BUT I THINK U KNKW WHAT IM REFERRING TO???

omfggggg when he's ruthlessly riding you and jerking himself off, his chest would get soooo red and it'll feel soo nice to run your fingers down his body and literally worship every inch of him 😵‍💫 he'd look soooo pretty with little marks over his chest as you shower him with praises... thinking about praising aaron HEEEEHEHEH he'd get sooo shy n flustered the first few times but slowly he'd get used to it and literally bask in the attention n praises 😭😭

my god n i must say u rly perfected his voice n what he would say......i swear my love for aaron not only solidified my kink for suits but also... voice 😵‍💫😵‍💫🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ like it makes me think how he'd react the first time when he realised how much power he has over you just from his voice and words alone.... like first he'd be confused why your reaction sometimes gets a lil funny but then his expression darkens when finally he realises. but he likes building up material to tease you later on so he doesn't really point it out at first but just has an amused smile.

then imagine one night being on a phone call with him as he just talks about his day and that it's pretty late at night so his voice starts getting huskier bc he's tired.... and he's just rambling about something unrelated but you feel the heat crawling up your neck because he just sounds so good . you can't help but clench your thighs and swallow your saliva. then he asks you a question but you're SO distracted that you miss it and when you finally answer him, your voice shakes. he goes silent before breaking into a low laugh because he recognises that tone of voice and picks up your breathing. "oh my, baby... i don't even need to see your face to know what's up. here am i trying to tell you about my day... but you just can't help yourself, hm? ...pathetic."

YEAHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭

- 🤲

AHHHHHHHHHH SDJFHSJDF THANK YOU hehehehehe n YEAH I GETCHA, I BE THINKING "oh GOD what if what i say is too weird???" n then you get back to me with basically the SAME THING AHHHHH i'm sooo happy we be thinking the same thoughts LMAO. and thank you sm <33

YESSSSS HE'D MAKE YOU FEEL SO SAFE FR <333 i wanna sit on his lap soooo so so much, god it'd be so good. i would love to write it as a fic tbh but i just have sooooo much to work on already UGHHH why is writing so hard and time-consumingggggg

REALLLLL I WANT BOTH !!! n oPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS RN CUM EATING IS SOOOOOOOO HOT I SWEAR DDSKFSK AHHHHH AND YES YES YE S I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SCENE YOU'RE REFERENCING

OUGHHH HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL FUCKKK

yessss he'd looook so pretty riding youuu <33 all red and sweaty and a whimpering panting mess oughhh i love it i love him sm n yessssss i wanna praise him sooo bad. like if you praised him he just WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO but then as he gets used to it, he loooooves it and craves it ough

hehe thank you!! N YEAH VOICE KINK AND SUIT KINK GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 🤭🤭 he'd get sooooo cocky knowing he has sm control over you oughhh and he'd be so proud of himself knowing he can get you to do almost anything with just his voice n pretty face

STOPPPP I'VE HAD THE EXACT SAME IDEA AND STARTED IT AS A FIC ONCE BUT NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT KSDFJK i loooooooove the idea of calling him on a case and he's just like. tired but tryna talk n his voice is sooooo deep and gravelly and it sounds so hot (bc sleepy/morning voices might be one of the best things in existence <33) and he notices you trailing off your sentences and stuttering a bit and going quiet and he just KNOWS what he's doing to you and he teases you relentlessly <33 he'd either get you all hot and bothered n then tell you that you gotta be patient and wait til he gets home orrrrrr he'll go "do you think you can show me how much of an effect i have on you, sweetheart?" and when you send him a pic he'd hum in appreciation and tell you how pretty/handsome you are and how he's gonna make you feel real good when he gets home but for now he's gonna talk you through making yourself feel good <33 maybe you can hear him letting out cute lil moans as he tells you how he wants you to touch yourself and your stomach drops when you realise he's getting off on it too and you ask him to send a pic of himself and he does and he looks sooooo good <33

also i gotta ask,,, how do you feel about daddy kinks LMAOOO bc i haven't thought about it much relating to aaron lately tbh but when i first got into him two years ago, all i could think was him saying stuff like "let daddy make you feel good, hm?" or "you wanna touch daddy?" n stuff like that,, are you into that?? i'm leaning more toward softer aaron n bottom aaron lately but godddd soft daddy dom aaron is soooooooo <333

[reiningsoral]

You can talk about Stuff for hours if you'd like, I don't mind

you know sometimes i forget this is the nerd website.

anyway you've given me an excellent excuse to talk about Stuff! disclaimer tho it's past midnight and im very very fucked in the brain rn bc finals r coming up... i kinda just used this as an excuse to word vomit a bunch of unrelated feelings and infodumps into on mildly incoherent post so yeah sorry bout that

mlp theory!!

so in the first episode of the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon is prophesized to be released/freed from her prison (the moon) by the stars. now that at first gets you thinking, "okay, but why would the stars want nightmare moon to be freed? she's evil." and you're right... kind of?

twilight's cutie mark is a sparkle, or rather, a star. see where im going? well now you're thinking "but twilight actively works against nightmare moon!" and you're right! but, i dont think the prophecy was actually about freeing nightmare moon, but about freeing Luna.

luna herself didnt ever want to cause the kind of harm that happened when she was nightmare moon, and she was essentially imprisoned in her own mind via corruption in a weird sort of venom-and-eddie-but-not-really kind of thing

twilight sparkle, the stars, frees Luna from her prison (nightmare moon) which was a state originally brought on by corruption, i think(?)

dhmis!!

dont hug me im scared makes me very nostalgic for a multitude of reasons, but also extremely uncomfortable in a comforting way?

uh if you havent guessed im autistic (undiagnosed but whtv) and this section of my half-past-midnight, feelings-induced, whatever-ness of a post/ask answer is about how dhmis made me feel and why i guess

dhmis makes me think of jack stauber's videos. i think the connection is pretty obvious, i mean, you cant take a look at bumblebees are out and then take a look at dhmis and tell me they arent at all similar.

umm, dhmis's approach to horror is very interesting and unique to itself, its (or was, when it was first introduced) a very new style of horror. it's a psychological nightmare, but even without the even surface-level analysies of the psychological horror, it's still absolutely horrifying. it's uncomfortable, it's gross, and it's generally very unpleasant.

so like,,, why do we watch it?

or i guess, why do i watch it.

all three guys (yellow, red, duck) are trapped in this repeating nightmare of a day, with incompetent people masquerading as teachers who dont know what they're talking about. this, again, very deeply resonates with me, as the kid who had a lot of special interests which coincidentally corresponded to a lot of things we learned in school. i liked a lot of things science related, expecially since my parents are both scientists. i often like, knew more about the topics that were being taught (read: shoved down my throat, incorrectly i might add) to me. i, being the justice seeker i was, would raise my hand to correct the teacher because i needed to make sure that this clearly innocent mistake was corrected so that no one carried misinformation. which is rude, apparently, there's a reason i dont like talking about stuff anymore, thanks middleschool. that bit about yellow guy turning smart for a bit really hit, sorry.

the whole part of the first ever episode about the arranging-leaves-and-sticks-into-one's-favorite-color makes me think about that time in fifth grade. the scene is so hilariously jarring in one way, then it hits you again. "go and collect some leaves and sticks, and arrange them into your favorite colors" is a line that, at first, just makes completely no sense at all, because, how the fuck does one arrange a pretty much monochromatic pallette and arrange it to be in your favorite colors? youre given only a half a second to be confused before the three comply in a different way than the viewer didnt think was the option. they arrange the sticks to spell out thier favorite colors. and then, yeah! that makes sense, so youre satisfied. but the episode punches you in the goddamn face again, by telling yellow he's wrong because "green is not a creative color" which is both very jarring and triggering, and just, infinitely hilarious to me. so how does any of that remind me of fifth grade? it's more autistic childhood stuff, lmao:

when i was in fifth grade, i had teacher who didnt communicate her kind of already nonsensical rules in a way little autistic me could understand, and i didnt ask questions because id been trained to know that asking questions is "giving sass" or fucking, whatever the hell nt adults think it is idk. anyway, this one weekish, at some point, my more rowdy classmates had gotten out of hand using their water bottles and kept spilling water everywhere, so my teacher said that we had to keep our water bottles at her desk at all times. and i was immediately distressed for two reasons: one, it was interrupting a status-quo that had been established (i.e., keeping out water bottles by us, at our feet, every day), and two, i couldnt drink water if Ms. teacher had my bottle. and the way she said it made it extremely easy for an autistic who takes almost everything too literally to misinterpert what she was saying. everyone else got the memo apparently, but i didnt.

id go on more about this but im too tired for an emotional deep dive rn and i wasnt to make an actual post about just dhmis at some point. anyway the point ofthat section was basically i really relate to yellow guy.

the truman show!!

the truman show is a work of absolute fucking genius. i was actually introduced to it via ranboo's generation loss, which is an analogue horror series with a youtube channel with around six(?) vids and a three-part streamed-vod series which was inspired by the truman series i think.

anywaay the inherent horror but comfort in your whole entire life being carefully crafted to be entertainment for thousands upon thousands of people! untapped venting market tbh.

the way that, at the start of the movie, the show is already unraveling, his dad shows up in almost the first scene.

i think the way that the actors subtly break character throughout the show and then try to cover it up in a way that makes sense to their character so that truman doesnt realize they're not real.

but then how the subtlety of the character breaks slowly becomes less and less subtle, and it just... unravels.

um, anyway yeah theres a couple of,,, things that ive been kinda thinking about, mostly incomprehensible because yet again it's past midnight, but i needed to word vomit idk

[httpiastri]

okay this is a really long ask again bc i cannot shut up so it’s spirituality first then a lot on paul and pee at the end

but NO WAY YOU LIKED NICKELODEON TOO OMG THAT USED TO ALSO BE MY ROUTINE AFTER SCJOOL like id get home and do everything i needed to do just so i could watch victorious, the thundermans, and more and it’s crazy that you have so many experiences surrounding nickelodeon omgomg AND THE FACT THAT YOU DREAMT OF IT?? ive always had dreams that foreshadowed many many events in my life, especially significant events, sometimes months or years before they would happen but sometimes it happens to me with silly little things too and i believe that it happened to you too omg

things like that have happened to me for as long as i can remember so i’m always asking if it’s intuition or me manifesting it and like… could be both tbh

although my intuition has always been crazy strong and i’ve never ignored it even once and it has paid off really well but then again, manifestation is basically just the belief that your thoughts create your reality, simple as that. if you believe it to be true, then it’s true, so sometimes i wonder if my intuition is just a reflection of what i believe to be true, and that in turn is what ends up manifesting? if that makes sense.

and you saying, “it's such a weird coincidence that's not rlly a coincidence....” ?? I AGREE?? 100% because you go about life with people and youre like omg we both did this in this year? and we were in the same place during this time? and we know so many people mutually? and we just dismiss it all as a coincidence until youre like… wait bc how many coincidences until it’s not a coincidence, yk? i feel like the way you put it is like the perfect way of describing everything

(and if paul does end up winning the feature race then… 🤭🤭) but speaking of paul… i find it so odd that the same thing happened in both F3 and F2?? with the win being snatched away at the last moment 🤧🤧 like the worst part is i can’t even be mad about paul not getting his win, like i’m def gutted for him but franco also won it fair and square (i don’t think he passed the track limits, from what i saw anyway) and so it just sucks that things like this happen but im also!! so incredibly proud of franco because i understand what it must mean for him to be the first Argentinean F2 race winner like he’s literally made history within those few seconds but i have no doubt paul’s going to be driving with incredible intensity tomorrow (this is unrelated but at the start of the season idk why i used to be a little afraid of how harsh (…?) he’d become in terms of his driving style… like sometimes i’d feel like it was almost a little dangerous, especially when there were a few conflicts with kimi and i used to be worried that paul might’ve been taking out some anger onto kimi and it used to worry me a bit but i think……. it’s better now? i really really hope so because conflict scares me so bad and especially since no one knows if kimi and paul are still friends, and even they aren’t, you can’t really blame paul because kimi really got two major things that mattered to paul but also idk i think i’m rambling atp but i hope that even if he drives madly tomorrow, it isn’t at the cost of the safety of any of the drivers on track, including him)

but i was actually heartbroken over pepe though 😕😕 i can’t imagine being in his position, probably hoping to get a fresh start after the break and doing so well in between only for this to happen… and like with the way they replayed the incident in the race it looked like he was in the wrong but i rewatched it and it seemed mutual?? so idk why he was the only one who received a penalty for it but like ive also been in positions where i just became a little out of sync with things i usually excel at, and idk how to word it properly but i have a feeling he’s probably experiencing it rn which sucks 😓😓 i hate that feeling so much because you just feel so icky and everything seems so disjointed and im just wishing the best for him tbh, especially since i think it’s pretty clear that he holds himself up to really high standards, and even when he’s in a position someone else might be more than happy with, he’s just not satisfied with it…?

i NEED for pepe to be happy again with race results for once like it’s really all ive been asking for recently

- 🪷

paul and pee, my loves 🥰 sjdkfhdj sorry i had to

but omfg you saying that about nickelodeon, that's so crazy !!!! dreams are such a cool thing, i used to dream like every night but now it's rarely ever.... wish i had more clear examples of stuff ive dreamed about happening irl because i have a very strong feeling that it has happened at least a couple of times? but i can't come up with a single example rn?? 😭

that's also really cool!! and yes i think it makes sense, it's a very interesting thought. i always feel like my intuition is strong when it's about like little silly things, like "how many stones are under this cup", but im thinking like... what if i do trust my intuition way more than i remember, maybe i just haven't acknowledged it or really recognized that that's what im doing? im definitely gonna be more open-minded when it comes to my intuition and kinda try to see what happens 🤭

YES YES exactly!! how many coincidences until it's not a coincidence????????? because when i talk to people about stuff like this, most of them are just "yeah weird coincidence lol" but when does it become something bigger? it's v v v interesting, i personally don't think there have to be a lot of them to actually maybe be something more...

also kinda off topic but also not?? i dont want this to become a religious thing because idk how you feel about that, but i used to be kinda christian when i was younger just because i refused to believe that i just "happened" to land on this planet at this time as a human being. like you're telling me that the universe has been a thing for billions and billions of years, and that it's infinitely large, and i just happen to be a living human here right now?????? there's just no way. like rn idk if i would say that im religious but i believe that there's a reason that im here right now. i believe that there's something or someone (or whatever) kinda making up the world or guiding things, or something, and that's why i don't really see a lot of things as coincidences? like a lot of the time i say "it's a sign 😁" when there are "coincidences" and people think im joking but im usually at least a bit serious on the inside lol. idk if you get what im saying? if any part of this was okay to understand?? but yeah basically people around me have always looked at me weirdly for believing in spiritual stuff etc, so ive tried to hide and repress it but you're waking up all of these emotions in me and i just 😭

i think i jinxed paul win by talking too much about it... the times when ive been right haven't rlly been intentional so i think i shouldn't have shared this with everyone 😭 welp... but yes that's very odd!! and just like franco having his maiden f3 win in the imola sprint two years ago? and now maiden f2 win in the sprint?? 😦 and for example baku is an interesting circuit, ollie taking his maiden f2 win there in the sprint and then winning the feature too, and what happened at the same track two years earlier?? juri vips took his maiden f2 win in a sprint and then won the feature aswell..... an estonian driver in a hitech, will we see the same this year in baku?????????? (or do we have to wait until next year bcs so far it's been every other year? 😭)

yeah im super happy for franco too, i also think it was just a great move 🤭 but omg i totally see what you mean about paul and his driving style.... ive been so worried that he's gonna crash into kimi and just 😭 like yk what he wrote in his insta channel thing? about "i would've won the race if antonelli didn't do his wonder kid thing and ruin my race" after melbourne 😭 he's so so cocky istg (ALSO OMG did you see the clip from the press conference yesterday abt beating most of the big names in the championship??? 😶) but i still love him loads. but yeah i too feel more safe with him on the track, maybe especially since he has turned out to be doing better than i (and probs him too) expected and now he doesn't wanna ruin this lol. but yeah he must have such a complicated relationship with kimi, they used to be cute friends but it's very understandable to feel conflicted when kimi got everything paul should've had 😭

we were heartbroken yesterday already, but today... after this race...... i didn't even focus on all of the replays tbh because i was watching an hour late and in the car, but :(( even if it was his fault, that's not fair 💔 sdjfhdkfj. but yes gosh i agree with everything you're saying, he's so calm and cool off the track but so competitive and like a sore loser (this isn't exactly what i mean but english doesn't have a word for the swedish term im thinking of) in a good way? not in the way that he blames other people incessantly when he loses, but more that he hates it and blames himself and needs to do it better the next time. so this weekend.... 🥲 but yes yes i relate to that feeling too.... it feels so common in sports to do really well one week and the next you're like "?? what's going on????" :(((( and y e s you're so right about him holding himself up to really high standards 🥲 so painful to see

but uh yeah he will do well in monaco, i trust it!! it will happen!!!!!!!

[magnuficent76]

I wanna know more about Andromeda and Salt... They're not as oft talked about. Self, for bad, and Loss for both of them!

Also for Good (for Archer) bc I'm v curious but you can do whichever ones of these yoy feel most like talking about

HAII AND I WILL ABSOLUTELY TALK ABOUT THEM !! I have GOT to stop neglecting my ocs but the Worms are In There </3

[Link to the actual list !]

Self – How is your OC's relationship with themself? Does your OC like who they are? Is there anything about themself that they would change?

■ For Salt, I like to think he's pretty much already his ideal self ! When they were small, they already figured out being a girl wasn't all that fun, so they tried a bunch of everything before figuring it all out: Oh I don't have to subscribe to this at all ! This is awesome :D My gender is [EXPLOSION GIF] [SEVERAL FLASHING LIGHTS] [EXPLOSION GIF BUT FASTER]. He's got all that self expression and presentation down pat: You are like the bullets being shot from a machine gun. Extremely deadly and so very loud, but also very cool, so nobody can tell you anything ever. This strategy has worked for as long as Salt has been alive since they've never really had that bad of a time using their body, so clearly they're doin' it right.

♠︎ For Andromeda, given they're an immortal being of chaos reborn into a mortal vessel to experience things, she hasn't exactly had time to worry about "insecurities" given all the Situations Xe Puts Zirself In. They love themselves and they love what they stand for and he has never before worried about being wrong, because error is necessary for nature to get things right !!! Who give a shit !!! Faer's already everything and anything fae wants to also because of the fact she is a VERY skilled shapeshifter. Gender fluid but to the most literal way you can possibly make it. Sometimes it gets hard having to conform to society's standards of normalcy, because he really enjoys just being weird looking and generally uncanny, but yk, fae manages ! No need to be upset if you're constantly in a loop of happiness and manageable chaos !!

For Bad – Is there anyone who had an undeniable negative impact on your OC’s life? How did your OC deal with that change? Have they been able to move on?

■ Salt has always the curse of being way too bold for his own good, so often times, he'll get tangled with the wrong person and end up a little worse off than he'd like. One of those people would be their ex friend/partner: Pepper. Pep was... well, bad for them, and they both knew it since they would constantly fight and be at each other's throats, but the thrill kept them both coming back. This adrenaline seeking behavior that often injured both parties was unhealthy to say the least, but its pretty much ingrained into Salt's brain now. Putting themselves in situations but like in a bad way. Their current girlfriend is helping them express those more aggressive thrills in healthier ways though, don't worry :]

♠︎ Andromeda has had their fair share of bad people in their life, all to fuel the passion of their unrelenting dreams of being a star, so its no surprise they also have a fair share of bad people coming in and out of it. Its a little more... personal, for her though. See, Andy is a model, and the industry is plenty exploitative as it is, but seeing as they have that craving, agents get a little... too comfortable, I suppose you could say. He's had to deal with plenty of touchy creeps and greedy agents and the like, pretty much on a weekly basis since xe gets contracts Often, but they manage. It doesn't affect xem all that negatively anymore, they're still naturally friendly !... but don't mistake that friendliness for trust, because they DO NOT trust anymore.

For Good – Is there anyone in your OC's life who had an undeniable positive impact on who they are as a person? How did knowing this person improve your OC's life?

◇ He would never admit it, even if you tried to torture it out of him, but the person that impacted Archer the most is probably Jonah. He looooooves acting like Jonah ruined his life and that he would've been better off a single child, but he loves the guy, even when they don't get along. They have been together through basically everything, being able to rely on the other in case things got rough, and it infuriates Archer how much better of a person he is because of his brother's support throughout their life together. He has this unspoken admiration for Jo that he wishes to express better, but that often turns into jealousy and bitterness simply because he feels inferior to anyone who does things better than him. He is way better because of Jonah's presence in his life, but at the same time he wishes he wasn't so reliant on his brother to keep him from being shitty, like he can't do good things on his own if someone else isn't shouting at him to do so.

Don't worry about it though. Im sure it won't culminate into anything. :]

[didwho]

Hello! You mentioned looking for more info about labels and stuff, so, if you're interested, here are a few things we've personally learned from several years as a "Origins Are Weird And Confusing" system who has been in therapy for A While at this point, in case they're useful to you: - you deserve whatever support you need, regardless of origin or dx or anything else. Therapy, friends who listen to you and support you, academic or workplace accommodations, the right to be unhappy and having a shitty time--you don't have to prove anything to be allowed to want/have those things. - trauma is a subjective experience about how your brain processed something difficult--not about whether the events were 'objectively bad enough to count', because there is no externally defined threshold. (There are certain types of negative experiences that are statistically very likely to be traumatic to the average person, but that absolutely does not mean that only those types of experiences "count".) - if you are experiencing lasting negative impacts from something that happened to you, 1) there is nothing you need to prove in order to be 'allowed' to get support for it; 2) anyone telling you that it wasn't bad enough to affect you is wrong. (This is true even in contexts completely unrelated to syscourse, btw!) - DID in specific is predominantly associated with chronic trauma/adverse experiences during childhood. However, if you have struggles with mental health issues and feel like a system, your options are not just either "100% Definitely DID" or "You're Making It All Up". Whether the label that happens to fit you and your experiences best is DID or any other label (OSDD, MaDD, PTSD + system, "stuff is shitty rn" + system, "who even knows", etc.) is between yourselves and the people on your support team--it's not the business of internet discourse randos trying to tell you whether or not you're valid. (Besides, figuring out what labels fit you best often isn't actually easy or obvious right away, for any number of reasons--including the fact that sketchy and/or 'muted' memories of awful experiences is a big part of many CDDs--and that's okay. Really. You get to figure stuff out at your own pace.) - you are allowed to use/benefit from CDD management strategies and ways of thinking whether or not you have one. (People without ADHD can use bullet journals. DBT isn't just for people with BPD. Etc. If it helps you, the important part is that it helps you.) - don't let the haters get you down. (There are folks out there in syscourse with complex and nuanced opinions, legitimate critiques of communities, etc.! And also, there are sometimes people who just want to be 'allowed' to feel hateful towards someone, aren't in good faith, and aren't interested in listening. What those people think of you or say about you Does. Not. Matter. They are howling at the moon.)

Good luck out there <3

thank you so so so so so much for the kind words!! i preach all of the same things yet sometimes its hard to believe it for yourself, so i genuinely really appreciate the reassurance.

i am looking for a label as of currently because i dont really know whats what, yknow?? its hard for someone like me because despite preaching all of those things, i struggle to understand what defines trauma!

a lot of my headmates tend to agree we do have trauma, but those who dont tend to feel very strongly about not, so it kinda pushes that positivity away!

it really sucks to be both your own supporter and your own enemy at the same time (not calling my headmates enemies its just the best way i can describe it)!

the vents i post are usually when im feeling fired up or upset over things, and again, for that post/ rant i had earlier i spread misinfo, which i feel HORRIBLE about, but i will keep the post up because someone else made a point on it and had the patience to help educate me!

i am still learning and alla that, its hard to navigate this community because theres so many terms, and due to general amnesia, whether it be the fact im a system or due to my ADHD, its hard to get a grasp on all of those!

anyways, sorry for the ramble and thank you so much for the kind words! i hope you have an amazing day ❤️

[orcelito]

🎶🎢🥺😈 (I know theres a few options for that last one lol)

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

ykno i Used To. but idk, smth flipped in my brain so i cant write on my computer anymore & HAVE to write on my phone (focus is way better) & music on the computer is natural background noise but on my phone it feels like more of a focus. so i just cant. plus if i listen to music i HAVE to have smth that matches the mood of the thing im currently writing, which can be very difficult to find. so i can just get into the headstate for writing better if im in a quiet, low-distractions room with just my phone before me. idk it's weird. during EDITING though, i do that on my computer still (moving words around feels more natural on la computadora, i guess) & music on computer is a Must. i like to listen to nice background music, which frequently ends up being psytrance lol bc there's just smth about that music that wraps around my brain so wonderfully & helps with the Concentration. but depending on the thing im doing i might do smth else, like how i listened to the album HOME by SIAMES over and over again while editing the first chapter of Summer Nights bc it just had that childhood nostalgia feeling that was Perfect for Childhood Nostalgia, The Fic. as for what ive been listening to more lately lol ive been listening to a lot of muse. unrelated to writing tho. i just enjoy their music lol.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

hmmmmmmmmm. well i figure quite a few readers of discacc would claim it's a wild ride, but it's honestly pretty linear. less of a 'whats going to happen' and more 'how is it going to happen'. still enjoyable! but i wouldnt say it's a wild ride. but my magic prince au??????? lmfao now THAT is gonna be a wild ride. whenever i finally get the chance to write it. massive angst and drama and tragedy and plot twists and More. plus not being restricted to the timeline of the game means the plot will be a lot more variable than discacc (which is ultimately just a canon divergence fic, when you get down to it). *sighs longingly* someday i will be able to write my magic prince au...

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

hmmmm. honestly anytime i get to make akechi feel vulnerable and/or loved. he is So traumatized & it's difficult for him to trust anyone. so seeing him get Tastes of friendship and belonging is so, so good. also of course the akeshu lol. gotta love Their dynamic & the ways akira always makes goro second guess himself. it's so good.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

hahahaha WELL. ive definitely more than once had a cliff hanger i purposefully put to fuck with people. bc that's very fun to do at times. only a few! im not typically the cliff hanger type. but Sometimes. it's fun to be like "ooOOoO what's gonna Happen?(emotional pain is what's gonna happen)". ive also been just plain mean many, many times, but i dont think i could count that as playful lol. times where i am Kind Of brutal towards goro. with even more to come <3 he's just such a great target lol. tho of course akira will have his time too heheh

questions r from here !

[princeofvelvet]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

Hi! I don't mind random asks at all! First I wanna say it's not weird, and you're certainly not alone! I cant know for sure the reason, but I can tell you how it was for me.

m/f oversaturates mainstream art. It's easy to become tired of it. I know at a very young age i was already bored with the age old tale of boy meets girl. Once i learned about the gender/sexual diversity in the real world, my interest in the romance between boy and girl took a nosedive because it was just so.. expected? boring? (and frankly a lot of the time not done in a way that gets me invested in the relationship), while my interest in m/m especially grew. There can be great joy in seeing something you dont normally see in mainstream media, especially if it resonates somehow with your identity, although this is not necessary in order to find joy in queer media.

BL and GL tropes are sometimes a lot different from m/f media, and a lot of the times that too can influence why we like it. If you like the "but im not gay!.. or am i?" that's one that you wont find in m/f easily lol. same with like, say "we're in an all-girls' school and kiss 😳" those are interesting and unique and rarely explored!!

There can also be a feeling of... either seeing yourself or freeing yourself from comparisons, depending on what you like? for example, a girl who reads m/m might feel more at ease without feeling like she has to measure up to something, because she's not part of the story! but she might also like to read f/f because she likes girls and wants to read stories where the girl gets the girl! Again, these arent always the case and the kind of dynamics you like in your media can be completely unrelated to your irl sexual/romantic interests, but they are options

Allow yourself to like what you like, gravitate towards the stuff that interests you and makes you happy without worrying about fitting your likes into boxes! Sometimes you end up liking an m/f couple over the f/f or m/m one and that's okay!

tl:dr your likes are normal, you are normal! love what you love

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[weirdmageddon]

please respond to this only if you have autism, (adhd alone doesnt count)

hey guys. i have two research questions i need to come up with. one of them ive proposed is “Are autistic people more at risk for dysautonomia (autonomic dysfunction)?”

i did a literature search last november in my free time because i was curious, and found that "autism is associated with some autonomic dysregulation". but almost all the studies I've come across use heart rate variability to measure autonomic influence (which across multiple studies has found autistic individuals to have lower HRV which means the oscillations in heart rate in tandem with breathing cycles are reduced). a researcher has said “It seems to be the most powerful [index], and the most correlated to emotional and behavioral outcomes”.

but what if i told you.....i dont care about that. i’m talking about autonomic system epic fails, where your autonomic responses are delayed and then kick in over the top to compensate, the shit that actively disrupts your life like thermoregulatory vascular problems (including heat intolerance), excessive sweating, exercise intolerance, fatigue from doing simple tasks that require standing up, POTS, orthostatic intolerance, fainting upon standing unrelated to dehydration, and frequent migraines for no fucking reason. and with autism, the sensory discomfort that these bring, especially the sweating and thermoregulation.

this is also a follow up to this post but i got so many responses from non-autistic people and people who thought they knew what i was talking about but didnt actually

vascular thermoregulation dysfunction in this context is not raynaud’s syndrome because it is not localized in blotches, it occurs slowly (in my experience is circadian related) and does not hurt, but it is uncomfortable to someone with sensory sensitivity.

i’ve looked this up btw and have gotten no pointers as to what it can possibly be, so my best guess is that it is an vasomotor dysfunction (like raynaud’s but not the same mechanism). but it happens on a schedule and is recurring, not an acute thing or a response. the hypothalamus is responsible for signaling many homeostatic factors like the autonomic nervous systems AND thermoregation, and it also contains the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which maintains circadian rhythm.

(please dont make any feet pic jokes this is serious, im trying to show you the vascular effects. i’d use my hands instead but they dont get this extreme)

on the left is my foot during the day at around noon. on the right is my feet at night at about 8pm. the difference in vasculature is striking. the mottled purple skin is FREEZING to the touch, sometimes i sit legs crossed and tuck my feet into the crevice behind my knee to warm them up. blankets and socks usually do nothing.

on the other end, the red feet are really red—that pic alone doesnt do it justice so i’ll share another from that same night.

notice there’s no mottling like in the daytime picture. that’s because my foot feels like a fucking sauna attached to my body. i have literally no choice but to stick my feet out from under the covers and lay at a weird diagonal angle on my bed to sleep comfortably. they also do not tingle or itch but they just feel like they radiate heat and it gets very uncomfortable.

oh also, for both the hot and cold feet, they’re clammy as fuck. all the time. cold and hot, doesnt matter always sweaty as shit regardless

note how this is not the same as raynaud’s and doesn’t even look the same. theres none of the white vasoconstriction as seen in part A.

maybe this is all a hypothalamus problem just in just me but if more autistic people have this (or just the other autonomic dysfunction symptoms i listed) than what is normal in the population this could open up a new subfield of research.

so my question is to other autistic people, do some or all of these symptoms affect you on a daily basis?

[potatotrash0]

Hey idk if youve done this alreadh but im curious about your body headcanons for the sdr2 cast!! An anon sent some in for characters previously (the one where they said things like angie has vitiligo and stuff-i love them and they really stuck with me haha) and i wanna know your headcanons!! :D

Hmhmm this one I might be listing off the spot lmao. I feel like my hcs are mostly just. Common hcs but hey I never said I wasn’t basic skdjksjdks

cw for. Everyone. Yeah kdjfksjdks

Hajime…..I like to think he’s slightly buff? Maybe that’s not the right word. Toned? Idk, I hc that he jumps around hobbies a lot because he wants to find something he’s good at, so that includes sports. I like the idea that a few stick with him, like swimming and basketball. I imagine he also has light scrapes and scars on his legs from falling, both with skateboarding and general Clumsy Shit.

Also this one switches a lot but with Trans Hajime, I can see him with top surgery scars.

Oh ah, I like freckled Hajime!! It’s cute. This one goes with the sports hc, but I like the idea that he’s kinda tanned. Entirely unrelated but I also like the idea that he has calluses from playing guitar.

Chiakiii!! She’s soft bc I said so. Specifically her thighs, arms and stomach + some stretch marks. And moles all over. Projecting big time onto a cute fictional girl, call that self care <333 /j

uhh other than that, I imagine she has bags under her eyes from staying up late gaming. Also tan Chiaki my love. Shh I know she probably doesn’t go outside for days on end. In my defense I tan easily and I imagine she does too. Again with the projection. Shhhh

Oh oh!!!! I forgot to mention but!!!! Chiaki gets a ton of moles. I saw the boob mole and went !!!!!! fellow mole haver!!!!!! and went nuts. This is the one weird niche entirely irrelevant thing that can get me to like a character, just. Being able to point at them and jump up and down with joy over them also having moles. Idk why it’s just therapeutic <33

Nagito’s bony. Skinny mf. Could probably cut cheese with his elbows. Maybe grate it on his collarbones. Cuddling with him would be a fight to see if you can find a position that doesn’t end with something poking you in the gut. I mean this affectionately, he’s bony as shit but he’s my bony fucker <3

Pale asf, sunburns if he’s in the sun for more than two minutes. His eye bags could hold the entirety of his life’s trauma. Sharpest features ever. Sometimes I hc that he looks greasy, and other times I hc that he looks ethereally pretty in a ghostly way. Either way he always looks like he’s had the soul sucked out of him by a Dementor.

You can probably definitely see the veins in his hands. They’re. Very There. Also I’ve brought this up before but he definitely has big ass hands. L a r g e hands, all the better to head pat you with. This was originally so much more pining but I decided no I’ve exposed myself enough on this blog skfjksjdkd

Oh last minute thing, I think he’d be tall as fuck. Specifically 6’0 or taller. Also he probably (definitely) has at least a few scars from his childhood, particularly that plane crash. And I like to think he has glasses when he’s older. I’m so sorry that his section is so long I have so many thoughts about him ;;;;;

Okay uhh Imposter? Mmm. Idk actually. I do think they’d have callused fingers but soft hands. Probably from having to adapt to using a ton of different talents for their Imposter Agenda. Also stretch marks probably, all over their body.

Teruteru uhhhhh. God. Can you tell I don’t think about some characters ;;;;; Idk I don’t have much that differs from canon. I like him. Oh but he probably has cook hands? Chef hands, whatever you wanna call them. Probably faint scars from cuts and burns from when he was still learning how to cook from his mama.

Mahiru……hmm well freckles obviously dkjfksjd. I think she’s tanned as well since I feel like she likes sunlit shots. Idk I don’t have much. I like to think she’s got a stockier body type though.

Also not necessarily her body but I like her with an undercut!

Peko’s buff <3 it’s canon <333 /j

N ee way yeah. Buff Peko my love. Also she probably has a few scars from handling her sword when she was younger and less experienced. I also feel like she would have contacts she wears when she trains bc fuck exercising with glasses

I don’t really have anything for Hiyoko until she gets her growth spurt. Afterwards, I imagine she’s tall and kinda thin? Mainly bc of fast metabolism probably, though when she’s older maybe she’d be a little less spindly.

I don’t know if her hair would be bleached or not, but if it were, I like the idea of her letting her actual hair color grow in. If not, I think Ibuki might help her try a few sections of dyed hair? Idk I just like the thought

Ibuki is a fellow bony bitch. I mean this lovingly. She’s skin and bone. Skeleton rocker lady

Probably tan, I imagine she spends a lot of time in the sun. She strikes me as a summer person. Oh, I also saw some art of Black Ibuki with vitiligo and loved that!! Also calluses from shredding guitar, obviously

Hmmm I like the idea that she rollerskates? So possibly some bruises or scars on her arms or legs from falling on concrete when she was still learning. Oh oh I imagine she has a ton of piercings!!! On her ears, nose, lips, brows, tongue, belly button…….maybe she has a split tongue too idk. Also she totally gets a ton of tattoos when she’s outta Hope’s Peak, prove me wrong.

Mikan uhhh. I like tall Mikan. She deserves the height. 5’8 to 6’0 Mikan good 👍

Hmm she probably has scars all over, particularly on her arms and legs. Uh. Idk I imagine she’s curvy probably. What do I say for her I don’t have anything skjdksjdks

I’m not even gonna lie I don’t have a damn thing for Nekomaru. Or. Wait nevermind here’s a concept: buff Nekomaru but like. If you’ve seen those wrestlers who have fat on them that hides some fucking crazy strength? Yeah that’s him. Also hairy asf.

Gundham……tall vampire vibes. I’d say he’s a stick but also I feel like he’s the slim type of muscular. Idk how to describe it. Shigaraki type muscle? Male gymnast. No nevermind those guys have visible muscle. Shigaraki type it is

Hmmm I think this is canon but probably a few scratches from his pets. His arms and legs mainly but I’m sure the Devas have scratched up his neck at some point or another. Just a little though. Also piercing fiend Gundham my beloved. I also like him having a couple tattoos when he’s older. Ibuki probably helped him heheh

I’m torn between Fuyuhiko being skinny as shit and Fuyuhiko being tiny and buff. I like both………hhh

His hair is probably bleached. Peko probably helps him re-dye it when his roots start growing in. I also like him having glasses

Uhhh tooth gap Fuyu’s cute. I used to have a super small one before I got my braces, I imagine it’s the same for him. Him, Ibuki, and Gundham are probably Tattoo Buds.

Kazuichi…..I want so bad to say he’s a weakling just to make fun of him but he’s a mechanic that probably works with heavy machine parts a lot and he probably has some sick biceps. But he probably also smells like hair dye, oil, metal, and Monster Energy. Win lose situation I guess.

I like to think he has a couple piercings? Not as many as Ibuki, but maybe he’s got like. Second or third place in the class. Also he totally filed his teeth to be sharp like that

Akane!! Buff lady, could probably deadlift me or something. She’s definitely got some scars from running around, especially when she was first learning parkour. Ummm oh, I like to think she has a chipped tooth or smth like that from falling roughly as a kid.

Soniaa <33 in my heart she will always be tall and have at least some muscle. Novoselic is a war country if I remember correctly, she’s definitely got some military training in her.

Idk why but her with heterochromia just popped into my head. That pretty greenish blue gray that she has + maybe brown or hazel? I think that’d be cool. And hip dips.

[tomatoluvr69]

You give off hippie vibes and seem like someone who is maybe not vegan but maybe pescatarian or maybe somebody who is just very health conscious. And you it's honestly such an inspirational vibe that I aspire to be like one day.

(If I've read you wrong and your none of these things than honestly idk what to say other than oops hope you like your new vibe!)

I do and should give off hippie vibes because I am one even though I don’t dress like it. I’m big into gardening and foraging and fermentation and psychedelics and pre-pandemic I used to dumpster dive as like an anti food waste thing and cook my finds lmaooooo this is not something I’ve admitted on here before. I had some run ins with law enforcement and then the pandemic happened and it’s going to be a long time before I start again lol but im still gardening and fermenting and stuff.

As for veganism I’m not a vegan! You got that right. I used to be a vegetarian but unrelated to that, I have a really long and difficult history with eating disorders so restricting my diet is a really bad idea for me :( mostly for me this looks like a decent amount of food is prepared with eggs, and also I eat a lot of plain Greek yogurt as a protein source. And I love goat cheese and ice cream so much. But I don’t really eat meat that often, but that’s largely for environmental reasons even though it doesn’t even fucking matter because of the jeff bezos rocket and the oil spills and mass produced cheap plastic trinkets Amazon two day shipping and Forever 21 and funko pops etc etc etc etc

Anyways, I think it’s specifically because of my ed history that I’m like this. It’s really hard for me to eat food if it’s not nice, (nice meaning tasty or special or interesting or prepared with some actual effort, not necessarily expensive) and that combined with the fact that I genuinely love to cook means that I tend to put a lot of thought and effort into what I eat. I don’t talk a lot about recovery on here bc I know it’s really triggering to a lot of people, but becoming interested in food as an art/hobby or whatever has been a really important component for me. Furthermore I truly think that gardening is one of the most inherently healing activities on the planet. I CANNOT recommend it highly enough for anyone going through through it— it’s astounding how palpably good it feels to me during and afterwards.

But I think for me the whole hippie thing is less of like an aesthetic lifestyle to strive for and more of a recognition of humans as part of an ecosystem, and a responsibility to live as a part of an equilibrium rather than something that takes and takes and takes. That being said I am BAD at it!!!! I take airplanes. I eat hamburgers sometimes because they’re awesome. I use electricity and eat imported cheeses and I think honestly I’ve reached a point in my life where recovery and forgiveness of myself are a far higher priority than completely radical ecological living because it’s impossible!! A cotton reusable tote requires like 15,000 uses before it overtakes the resources required to make it!!! We should all be using hemp and bamboo!!!! But you’ll drive yourself literally fucking crazy thinking about all that shit and we can’t all make hemp tote start-ups and honestly one time I was tripping on these mushrooms i picked and I felt this powerful breakthrough where I realized that environmental concerns were an extremely huge part of my orthorexic restriction and I would literally never, ever recover if I didn’t start consuming things I’d been freaking out about for years, I had to apply that mindset to other areas as well.

Wow I’m sorry I got waaaaaaaaayyyyy off track here. I guess the point is that you totally fucking clocked me, I grow food and make my own seitan and kombucha, but also I don’t necessarily consider myself a hippie because I’m still struggling to find a way where I can consume in a sustainable way and not fall down a spiral of tyrannical mental illness lmaooooo

Ok and all that being said, I just want to say that you can basically pirate ornamental lavender from ugly corporate landscaping by ripping off a couple branches and sticking them in old food containers full of potting soil and everyone should do it it’s awesome and also plant native wildflowers and stick some garlic cloves in raw honey and then you’ve got honey fermented garlic to snack on baby and mugwort will give you weird dreams and also genuinely eat literally everything you want to including poptarts and ice cream and also GMOs are fine. To eat. Monoculture ag is another problem (😡) but you can eat gmos and big dairy and corn syrup it’s fine

[lollytea]

Fearless (part 2/3)

( PART ONE okokok some parts of this are pretty good. some not so good. but the important part is im tryin my goddamn best out here.)

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:02PM] The sun had melted away beneath the distant hills and Louie had somewhat calmed himself down.

At least, he was no longer hyperventilating. The feathery tufts on his cheeks were not as fluffy as before, now clumped together from his waterworks earlier. 

He lit the last of his lights, drawing the match away and allowed the head of the flame to seize its last moments. It danced with delight, flickering as it devoured the thin strand of poplar wood.

Louie watched it too long, finding solace in the glow of gentle orange. Just as it was teasing to taste his fingertips, he snuffed it out, not nearly as interested in the arising string of pale smoke. Seven illuminated oil lamps circled his room, washing him in warm, yellow light. But still, It would breed an array of shadows, outlining everything with subtle pools of gloom. Shadows made Louie uneasy. They gave him the strangest feeling that he was being watched. Reminded him of people and powers that were best not to think about. But a shadowy room was preferable to pitch black. He was scared of the dark. Come to think of it, he was scared of a lot of things. Louie had a complicated relationship with fear. He was, by no means, the skittish kid from five years ago. He simply couldn't live with that mindset for long when thrust into the life of McDuck royalty and all the madness and danger attached. So, he adapted. His busiest days tended to fall in the order of breakfast, adventure, magic, certain doom, barely escaping with your life and then sleep. Rinse and repeat. Living like that didn't phase him much anymore. How could it when he was surrounded by the most courageous family put on this earth? And when you continue to survive when that was your Day-to-Day, it had a tendency to boost your confidence. He had gotten braver for sure. Much braver. And yet, he couldn't help but feel like he was lying to himself sometimes. Being afraid of the world around him had never quite faded, he just gotten much better at handling it. Recent years made things all the more messy. His brothers weren't as brave as they used to be these days. Not after what they went through. As a spot of hope, Huey was starting to rebuild a stronger, improved version of his old self. But Dewey still needed time. It made Louie wonder if his intrepid brothers could be broken like this, should he even bother trying to toughen up? He had never been like them. Not naturally, at least. He didn't stand a chance when his time came. He figured that with all he's experienced, he should've at least developed past his more irrational fears. But he didn't.  Deep down, silly stuff still unsettled him. Spiders, violence, surprises. The dark. Ty knew he was afraid of the dark. Ty knew most of the stuff he was afraid of. And despite teasing Louie for pretty much everything else, never his fears. He claimed his brother was the same so he didn't find it all that weird. Louie called bullshit on that one. From what little he knew about Ben, it was impossible to picture that guy being scared of the dark. Ty was most likely trying to ease his insecurity. It didn't work. He felt uncomfortable sometimes, being somebody scared of so much, being close with somebody like Ty. Fearless. It sorta made him wonder if he was inferior. As if standing alongside Ty just wasn't right. The balance didn't seem equal. Wow. Louie was never gonna be good enough, was he?   Wait, no, stop it. Fucking stop it. He had no right to be feeling all sorry for himself for the probability that he wasn't good enough for Ty. On the grounds that he wasn't brave enough? No. Of course Louie wasn't good enough for Ty. That was an irrefutable fact. But what mattered right now was that his carelessness had almost gotten Ty killed today and he couldn't, in good conscience, be focusing on anything else. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. That was a little more important than "Boohoo, cute bear boy is never gonna kiss me. I'm sad." To make matters worse, Louie had gone and chosen the perfect time to figure out he was in love with Ty. Sure, It had left him happily dopey at the time. But now, after everything that happened, it was like his imaginary little love letter left a paper cut on his heart and splashed it with lemon juice. Ty was going to resign as his retainer. The more Louie said this to himself, the easier it would be to accept it when he received the news. It was truly possible Ty was currently out of his life for good. As much as Louie was trying to talk himself into hunting the boy down right this minute and begging for forgiveness, there was a part of him speculating that Ty would prefer not to see his stupid royal face ever again. It hurt. It really did hurt. But if that's what Ty wanted, Louie would silently abide by the request. He hated to admit it but the spineless side of him didn't want to face Ty either. The last look at him had been his still body laying on an iron bedstead in the castle infirmary. Beakley had assured the stricken Louie that Ty was not dead but refused to divulge the details as she ushered him out and exiled him to his room for the rest of the night. He needed to see Ty conscious. He needed to see him alive. It would be one weight off his chest just to know his retainer had bounced back. But also.....he didn't want to know the damage he'd done. He want to know how badly Ty had been wounded nor how close he had brushed by death. It had been Louie's fault. And he knew that. But the thought of confronting it head-on was a difficult reality to swallow. Even though he should. He should. Completely unrelated but another dumb, embarrassing thing that made him jump out of his skin? Sudden noises. Still completely unrelated but there was a knock at his door.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 11:24AM]

The sky was clear, the autumn air wasn't chilly but pleasantly crisp and there was a lively gathering in the forest. It was held in a wide clearing, bursting with happy people, milling around and chatting. Surrounding them was an almost perfect circle of tangled old oaks, their branches wreathed with strings of homemade lanterns and flower garlands. 

Ty and Louie were quick to turn on tunnel vision towards the table with a large arrangement of party food. They came away with armfuls of bread, cheese, fruits and two tankards of apple cider. They found a spot for themselves, hiding away behind a stack of bailed hay just on the outskirts of the festivities. They set up their little feast, which they wasted no time in devouring. 

There were minstrels playing a vibrant tune. But even with all their flutes, fiddles and practice, they fell short in comparison to the natural music of Ty Cloudkicker's laughter. Louie was talking fast. He was gravitating into Ty's space as he did so, lured in by the bubbling sound. He was eager, grinning deliriously as he spouted out more and more of his story to keep the laugh from fading.

As if it was a lifeline. Like the back of his mind was utterly terrified it would stop. Yet he was entranced with a flood with endorphins, so enamored with the resonance that he couldn't help but be elated as he rattled on to keep himself alive. "Okay, so nobody specifically told Uncle Donald that keeping snacks in your crown was not considered "Kingly" behavior. But see, he just saw it as an extra pocket. He didn't get what the big deal was." 

When Ty laughed hard enough, he started snorting. He attempted to control himself. Louie wished he wouldn't. "So imagine being one of those advisor buzzard dorks, right? And you're having this big, important royal audience with the new king. And then right in the middle of discussing warships or something, he reaches into his crown, (not breaking eye contact.) and starts munching on a fish sandwich. They looked at him like he just spat on their mothers' graves." The octave skyrocketed and Ty disintegrated into high pitched cackles, tightly clutching his side as if he would split in half. It swept away the narrative in Louie's head, fizzling the thought process as he continued to gaze at Ty as if he were channeling golden light. However, his brain did not send the memo to this mouth that it was time to stop talking. Which led to Louie stuttering out "And the--....He--...uh, he--,um...." a brainless smile slapped on his face all the while. He couldn't stop smiling. He was crashing and burning and he couldn't stop smiling. He was certain he would be humiliated over this blunder later but right now, it was pretty funny. Thankfully, his subconscious had mercy on him, cutting him off with a nervous, breathless giggle. Ty was oblivious to whatever kind of gay breakdown Louie was having as he was trying to regain composure from his own hysterics. He was beginning to calm down, occasional wheezy yet delighted noises still sputtering out of him. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned back with a shaky exhale, still stuck with that huge sunny smile. They fell into a silence in the aftermath, content to sit and just listen to the music. Ty picked up his cider and took a gulp. Louie mirrored him. Then Ty's entire frame bucked with a surprise hiccup and Louie nearly choked. He was pretty sure he saw his whole life flash before his eyes as he collapsed into a coughing fit, Ty thumping him firmly on the back. "I'll live, I'll live!" Louie gasped, regaining himself. "Stop hitting me, I bruise like a peach." "Sorry." He drew his hand away. Then he hiccuped again and Louie lost it. "It's not funny!" Ty insisted, a desperate crack to his voice. It was pretty hilarious, actually. Not just the ridiculous little noises, but the way his shoulders jumped and how he would blink in split second afterwards, startled and bewildered like a baby animal. Ty gave him a shove, Louie still snickering and flailing his hands to halfheartedly fend him off. "Hey, hey, what gives you the right to attack me? I nearly choked and died 'cause of you." "Sounds like a "you" problem." "Where'd those hiccups even come from? Your papa bear never teach you not to drink your cider so fast?" Ty's bottom lip jutted out, irritated. He shook his head "Nah, it's--" Hic. Louie snorted. "Shut up!" He snapped. Yeah, his face was definitely a darker shade of pink than usual. "Sometimes I get hiccups if I laugh too much." "Huh. that's a thing that can happen?" "Yeah. A thing I gotta live with." Hic. "Lemme guess, this hasn't happened in a while?" "Huh?" Ty turned to him, perplexed. "Nah, it happens all the time. And when I tell ya it's the most annoying thing--" "You can't be serious." Louie smiled with a disbelieving shake of the head. "You, like, barely laugh anymore." "What's that supposed to mean?" "What?" He shrugged. "You don't." Ty rolled his eyes and directed his vision elsewhere. "I usually do whenever I go back to the glen." "Are Ben and Lottie really that funny?" "They are the least funny people I know. Also they suck and they're cheaters and I hate them." Hic. Let's see. So, he was clearly pouting. Acting all petty about his siblings. The Glen. Laughing to the point of hiccups. "Lots of tickle fights, huh?" Louie deduced, a smirk playing across his beak. Ty considered him for a moment, as if he was thinking about decking him right then and there but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort. (Louie was offended.) He then looked off into the distance, an indescribably haunted look in his eye. "Soooo....I'm gonna guess you usually lose the tickle fi--?" "I do not!" Ty abruptly yelled, shooting him an indignant look. "Let's get this straight, if it's one-on-one, I win. I always win. You better not forget that, your highness." He jabbed Louie's chest with his forefinger. "I'm the best fighter out of the three of us. In fact, I probably got the potential to be the best fighter in the whole kingdom!" "Real modest." "It's just if they team up, then it's unfair! That's why they're--" Hic. Louie watched, delightfully entertained as Ty hissed "God. Damn. Hiccups." "And how often do they team up?" He didn't answer right away. Then reluctantly grumbled "Most of the time." "So what I'm hearing is--...." Louie casually leaned against Ty's side, propping his elbow on the latter's shoulder.  "You do lose most of the time?" "Shut up." "No." "Okay, so here's the thing. Let's say you're a big, strong brave knight. You're super cool and heroic and everybody respects you." Hic. "Then you go back home and then suddenly you're just someone else's baby brother and they see you just standing there, minding your business and they're just like "Well! Guess I gotta obliterate him!" And they do not hold back." "Ohhhhh, I get that, I totally get that." Said Louie. "Well, not the brave knight part. But y'know. Me and my brothers had to share a room. It was tiny. There was always a foot in your face or whatever. And sometimes when were bored, they started getting rowdy and throwing hands and it's not like I asked but I got dragged in too. When I was just trying to sleep, man! I wasn't asking for a spontaneous duel at 2am." Ty snorted. "Oh yeah, and sometimes Dewey calls me a little bitch." "He's right." Louie knocked his body against Ty's, making a sound of faux outrage. Ty only found that funnier. Huffing, Louie pawed around for the cluster of grapes at his side. He twisted one free and twirled it around his fingers for a moment. "Watch this. I can feel it. I'm gonna do it this time." "Are you now?" Said Ty in such a distinctly pleasant tone that Louie could not possibly interpret it any other way than "I do not believe that but I'm humoring you but I also want you to understand that my sweet voice is oh, so bitterly sarcastic. Fuck you." "I see you're doubting me." "Me? Doubt my liege? I could never." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a real court jester. Now shut up and observe." Louie wiped all expression from his face and inhaled deeply to obtain peak tranquility. He relaxed his whole frame. If he could pull this off, this would be his day for sure. Ty was watching. This moment would define his life. Thinking a hasty prayer to every known God, force and entity  that had ever favored the unlikely ones, he tossed the grape in the air, threw his head back and opened his beak. The grape finished rising and gravity took control. It fell. Down, down, down, down. Louie now understood the concept of meditation. He was so in the zone, he could've sworn the grape was descending in slow motion. Yes, yes, it was aligning directly below his beak. He was gonna catch it! Down, down, down, down. Then Ty snatched it right out of the air and swallowed it whole. Louie sat, slack jawed, attempting to process what had just happened. He slowly turned to Ty, completely blank. Huh. That moment really did define his life. "You bastard!" He squawked. "Me bastard!" Ty exclaimed, looking insufferably proud of himself. "How could you?! I know our allyship has been complicated but this is high treason!" "Sorry, sorry, I just--" He sat back a little, shaking with silent laughter. He then formed a square with his hands and hovered it before Louie, squinting one eye. "I just needed to see the face you would make and god, it was worth it. You think you could hold that face for a few hours to get a portrait made? I'd get it framed and hang it in my room." He was teasing him. Louie knew he was teasing him. And yet he still blushed bright red from the fragment of fondness blurred in the implication. "W-well, well I would--I'd--" He floundered, racking his brain for a retort. "You think there's any musical instruments that could replicate your dorky little hiccups? I'd hire minstrels just to have them play it for me! Y'know, for when I need a laugh." Ty's smug grin dropped and his eyes flicked about uncertainly. "I--..." He dragged the word out, face flushing at a rapid rate as he folded his knees up to curl in on himself. He crossed his arms. "I think they're gone now anyway." He mumbled. Hic. God, that never got old. "If you laugh one more time, I'm putting you in a tree and leaving you there." Louie laughed again, out of spite. "Nobody's fault but your own. Imagine you've just fought an epic battle and you think there's no more enemies to take on. But as soon as you say that out loud, boom! Second ambush! You would think a warrior like you would get that." "Your highness?" "Yeah?" "Shut your huge mouth." "No." "Okay. Dunno why I thought that would work. Never does." "Y'know I would offer to spook your hiccups away. But we both know that wouldn't work." "Yeah, probably not." Said Ty with a shake of his head. He perked up a bit. "Lottie gave it a shot once. Nothing." "Well, it's just like you said that one time." Louie shrugged, then faltered when the back of his mind took notice of the dimly glowing orange irises he was met with. His voice softened involuntarily. "You're fearless." He didn't know what he said wrong. Ty's face fell. He looked so utterly devastated that Louie, completely lost to why he was even upset, felt his own heart shatter to pieces. He wanted to start sobbing just from seeing him. "Oh..." Ty whispered. He clutched one of his hands with the other and began fidgeting with his fingers. "Well, see. Uh, the thing about that is--...." Concerned, Louie scooched in closer, peering at the face that had once again turned away from him. He hesitantly touched Ty's upper arm. "Hey. Ty. Are you--?" "HEY, LOOK AT THAT!" Ty blurted out, his voice nervously rising in pitch. He attempted to subtly clear his throat. Louie followed the direction of Ty's pointer finger which was gesturing out to the thick expanse of forestry. There was nothing there. But then he caught a flash of movement and noticed two figures tucked away in the shadows of the trees. A young man and woman, probably only a few years older than them. "The couple?" Louie asked, puzzled. "The what now?" Then Ty did a double take, then snapped to attention as if he had just noticed them. "Oh! Oh, yeah, them, sure. I mean, yeah, that's what I meant. Them. Uhhh....look at them!" "Uh. Okay? Why?" "Theeeyyyy're....cute? Gross? They're something. They're definitely something." Louie hummed, taking the two into consideration. The girl was letting out a peal of laughter and the guy was blabbing away animatedly, looking thrilled with himself that she was finding him funny. He was trying so hard.... Louie didn't know if he wanted to gag or coo out an "aww!" "Grossly cute." He decided. Ty snapped his fingers. "That's it!" "You know, I don't get why they're over there. There's tons of people around here. Why would you wanna show up to a party if you're just gonna hide away and hang out with one person the whole time?" "For real though." For the next few minutes, Ty and Louie observed the couple, keeping up a running commentary on the guy's obvious nerves and the girl's less than subtle advances. Ty and Louie learned a lot about themselves in those few minutes. Namely that they were both terrible at lip reading. "He said Pants." Ty was certain. "No, he said Nance." Louie countered. "Her name is probably Nancy." The girl clapped her hands together, nodding eagerly. "Then what's that for, huh? Clearly he just offered to tailor her a personalized pair of pants." "You are so dumb, that's not what's happening here at all." The guy took a dramatic step back and twirled his wrist an unnecessary amount of times before offering her his hand with a half-bow. She took it, giggling. The two them scampered off, out of the shadows and into the heart of the party, where other couples were twirling around as the minstrels played. He curled an arm around her waist, smiling as though this was his greatest honor and they spun into the motion, flowing so naturally amidst the other dancers as if they were simply another cogwheel in the world's most elegant clock. "Dance." Said Ty and Louie in unison. "Pretty sure we were close." "Pretty sure we're idiots." "Yeah, I know but just let me pretend." Ty suddenly snickered, his eyes glinting. "What was that thing he did with his hand anyway? And why did she eat it up?" "It's called flair, Tiberius." "Kinda dumb." "You're just mad that flair is not something you possess." "Bullshit, watch this!" Ty sat up straight and bent his arm into a perfect ninety-degree angle. "Prepare to be amazed." And then his entire forearm began to spin and spin and spin and spin and spin like a windmill in a hurricane. "Flair, flair, flair, flair," He was chanting and Louie had already collapsed in a giggle fit. It wasn't even remotely funny. It was dumb, it was so dumb. But Louie could admit to himself that dumb schticks get like ninety percent more humorous to him if there's a really cute boy performing them. He was easy like that. Ty was extremely committed to the joke as he kept spinning and spinning for over ten seconds. He kept shooting Louie glances and his grin got wider and wider every time he looked away. "FLAIR!" He let his arm go, throwing out an open palm and nearly knocked it against the side of Louie's head. "Hey!" He dodged. "Watch where you swing that thing, you could've whacked me!" "But I didn't!" Said Ty gleefully. He lowered his hand but did not withdraw. It remained unwavering and offered out to Louie. He took it. He didn't think, he just took it. It was only when they made contact that Louie woke up and his heart promptly spiked. But besides a light blush, he managed to keep his face neutral. "So, I guess it's not just that girl who's impressed by this stuff." Ty was nonchalant. His smile then twitched, as if aching to stretch wider but he was reigning it in. "You are too." They were still touching, which, by all accounts, should continue to fluster Louie. But as seconds ticked by, a sense of calm was settling over him. The very thing originally causing panic was now bringing him comfort. It was the weirdest thing, "I was laughing at you, not with you." He said evenly, catching Ty's contagious smile. "Ehh," He shrugged. "I'll take it." Louie would count this as a new domain for sure. Uncharted waters. As if he and Ty had stumbled in accidentally but now they were here, their curiosity was urging them to explore. Not to a dangerous extent, of course. But maybe just edge along the sidelines and see what they could discover. "Your hands are so tiny, it's crazy." Ty commented, tilting his head. Turning it over, he slid his thumb thoughtfully across Louie's palm. "How do you even hold anything?" Louie wasn't even eyeing their hands but was regarding Ty's pensive face. "It's kinda the worst. Whenever we find treasure and I get my cut, the fancy rings and bracelets are huge. I always gotta go to a jeweler and get them resized if I wanna wear them."' Ty was fiddling with Louie's fingers now, fixing him with a decisive nod. "I'll get you a ring for Christmas." "Woah, woah. For real?" "Yeah. I'll put it in one of those fancy boxes. But then you'll open it and see it's made out of grass and try to have me beheaded." As they were speaking, their hands continued to play around. Ty had flattened his own, aligning his palm against Louie's. Louie spread his fingers and Ty laced his through. "Uncle Donald says I'm not allowed to say "Off with his head" anymore or I'm grounded 'til I'm thirty-five. It "makes the people want to revolt."" Louie air-quoted with his free hand. "But I would fire you for sure." Ty snorted. "You would not and you know it." There would never be any proof that they held hands that day. Not a single eye witnesses, including themselves, as both boys had turned a blind eye to their own actions. They were afraid to look down, as that would be an acknowledgement. Louie had no mental image of the moment, fuschia fur intertwined with snow feathers, only a rush of heat and a hazy ponder if the dampness was his sweat or Ty's. And if the feel of Ty's touch was just an illusion of the mind, there was one poignant hint of the reality and that was how gentle their voices had gotten. "Oh, so, you're really gonna test me like that, Tiberius? Pushing me around, stealing grapes, calling me a little bitch. Is this any way to treat your liege? You don't think I'm at the end of my rope with you?" "Nahhhh...." Ty drew the word out, grinning. He twisted his muzzle into an exaggerated pout and batted his eyes. "You would never because I'm awesome and cool and smart and you love me." It was Ty's utter nerve that left Louie too astonished to even blush. Instead, he simply tilted his head, an eyebrow cocked. "Do I?" He challenged. To his credit, Ty did not relent either. However, the impishness gradually died from his eyes until he was left solemn. "Maybe?" He spoke softly, as though too much force would crack the delicate little word. He bore into Louie's eyes, like he was searching for an answer. Pleading for an answer. Louie felt his own hand squeeze Ty's. He inhaled. He knew he was going to say something, he was just leaving it up his own scattered subconscious to determine what. He would open his beak and whatever words wound up tumbling out would seal his fate. He didn't have a second to panic, to fret, as he was already speaking and he was petrified by how fast this was all going. "I--" Something shattered and a woman screamed in pain. Indistinct shouting and Ty cursed under his breath. Louie scrambled around to see the commotion and the last few things he registered were the gleam of sunlight catching unsheathed weapons, the girl he called Nancy with crimson pooling from her forehead, Ty demanding "Get down!" and knocking him stomach-down into the ground. 

“Stay there and don’t move.” Then Ty had rushed off and everything went to shit.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:13PM] Louie was well acquainted with that knock. Firstly, one firm rap against wood, proceeded by two more rapid-fire. He associated it with a twinge of annoyance, high sun beams streaking in his window and somebody near, dear and insufferable to his heart, pestering him from the other side to rise and shine already or his breakfast would go stale. This usually occurred around 9:30AM. If given a say in the matter, Louie would sleep til noon. But he didn't have a say in the matter because every morning, without fail, there was a retainer banging down his door. Something was off this time. Once he knocked, Ty had fallen uncharacteristically silent. No continuation of drumming out an obnoxious little tune and and no insisting he open up. Louie was hesitant to do much of anything. It seemed his door was the only thing protecting him from facing repercussions right now. If he fell deep enough into denial, he could pretend Ty wasn't there. So long as he kept his door shut, he could pretend everything was alright. Ty didn't almost die. It was a tempting thought. It resounded in such an appealing voice inside his head that Louie seized his latch before he could give in. The brass shocked a chill to the pads of his fingers as he held on tight. He had to open up. He had to. His hand fidgeted, stalling the moment. He thumped his forehead against the door, heaving a steadying sigh. "You don't wanna see me, do you, your highness?" He heard Ty say in hushed tones, his voice startlingly close to where Louie had situated himself. "Ehh, if we're being honest....not really." "Oh...." "Do you wanna see me?" "I mean....I kinda don't? The idea of seeing you right now is making me nauseous." The statement skewered Louie's heart. He shook it off. "Why'd you knock?" "'Cause it doesn't matter what I want, I gotta see you right now. It's important." An prolonged pause hung in the air, buzzing with a mutual uncertainty. Louie tapped his fingers to the wood and after a second or two, Ty did the same. Their respective rhythms aligned. "But..." Ty continued, his voice faltering. "If you don't wanna see me, I can go--" "Convince me." Louie was blurting out before he thought twice about it. "Huh?" "I need to open this door but, like surprise surprise, I'm scared. You've done it before. I get scared and you talk me into stuff. Do your big strong hero magic and get me to suck it up. Please, I need it." "Oh, uh, I--" He could hear how flustered Ty had gotten suddenly being put on the spot. "Well, I--...I guess you don't have a choice 'cause if you don't open up, I'm strong enough to barricade the door down. So, I figure we should just do this the easy way." Despite the circumstances and the scruple wrung tense in his stomach, Louie felt the corner of his beak twitch at the tentative touch to Ty's tone. He felt his stiff shoulders relax. "Is that a threat, Tiberius?" "Uh, no." Ty admitted, sounding sheepish. "That was just a joke. See, it was the first thing that came into my head and then suddenly I was saying it. Sorry, I dunno for sure if now is "joke time" and I figured it'd be kinda weird to ask so--" He didn't get to finish rambling. His hair whipped to the side with the rush of air that came with the swift swing of the door. Louie fixed him with a hard look, processing the sight of his retainer standing there, alive and bright eyed. Ty's hand was still hovering awkwardly in the air, where he assumed it had been resting against the door. He blinked back at him, puzzled and a little alarmed, as if caught under a spotlight. He didn't look angry. But Louie knew better than to lull himself into thinking he was in the clear. Whatever resentment Ty was feeling would spill out in time. Louie braced himself. "Hey, Ty." He said stiffly. "Come on in."

[rabbitindisguise]

Hi, thanks for the post about nerve pain. I think that’s what Im experiencing —the description was so fitting. Any advice on how to deal with it please?

No problem! Typically nerve pain doesn't respond to NSAIDs, like Advil, and Tylenol doesn't do much good either. If you want a break from the nerve pain you can use a TENS unit (it interrupts nerves and makes the feel weird in a different way) that you can get over the counter. There's also this fancy little machine called "quell" that I've heard good things about but it's pretty pricey.

Long term, I recommend talking to a doctor about it. Not only can they diagnose it, but there are pretty effective medications that are more readily available than other chronic pain treatments. For example gabas is one class of medication used (definitely read up on potential side effects). Also, they sometimes prescribe antidepressants, depending on how severe your symptoms are and if you'd benefit from a sleep aid. Don't be worried if you doctor prescribes an antidepressant, they're not saying you're not experiencing nerve pain- antidepressants can be used off-lable for nerve pain and other types of chronic pain. I was on amitriptyline for example for an unrelated reason, and had tooth pain from a cavity all but vanish. When I went off medication the difference was night and day.

[brooklel]

my thoughts on worlds end club, under the cut because it’ll probably be long and also spoilers

so i bought the game today at around 9am and played it until i beat it at around 11:30pm ish? so ha uh yeah it took a little while but i was very enthralled in the story

the story and characters are hands down the best part of the game. compared to literally any of the danganronpa games, i like the cast of characters so much more. like there’s always one or two in a danganronpa games group that i just don’t like but in wec i loved all of them. i’d usually dislike chuko’s tsundere character type but i actually ended up liking her. my least favorite is probably dragon power ranger kid whatshisname but i don’t hate him or anything i just found him to be the weakest character tbh. but i do really like his character design

speaking of the character designs OOF they’re all so good. i didn’t realize until looking up stuff on the characters but they’re all based on the animals of the Chinese zodiac which is cool and the design elements are subtle and it’s not narratively important but i mean they didn’t need to be. there’s a few offhand remarks here and there like comparing kansai to a tiger and chuko to a rat but they’re not really shoved in your face which is nice

oh also i wanna compliment pai in particular. she’s the boar character which first of all i feel like people would usually make male, and if they made her female, then she would be angry and stubborn and probably not conventionally attractive but she’s not any of those! also she’s a little heavier than the rest of the girls which 1. makes her even more adorable, and 2. no one in the game brings up or makes fun of her for which is nice. mowchan sadly didn’t get exactly the same treatment he was still the fat comic relief character. he deserved so much better.

the art is all so pretty as well like i already loved the art style from pokemon and in wec it’s even more exaggerated and i live for it. i also like the movie they’re watching at the beginning has more realistic humans that’s just kinda funny.

the humor is pretty good i guess but what i’m really here for is the fun childish but realistic portrayal of friendship and emotions like it does kinda take me back to my own little group of friends in elementary school, where sometimes there would be disagreements, but we were still always friends

i loved reicho as a canonically mute protag and how none of his friends ever minded or even brought it up like that’s so cute. but the reveal that reicho was basically just a big puppet kinda just made it feel a little different... like idk how to explain it but yeah

ANYWAY here’s my obligatory paragraph about pochi because he’s my son now. the writers knew what they were doing by making him a kinda shy gamer kid bc they knew people were gonna relate to him even when he had a somewhat smaller role in the story before turning into the full fledged protagonist. anyway this robot puppy boy is my son i will protect him

the scene where pochi basically gets dunked on by the rest of the team is weird to me like idk it just feels out of character for most of them to be like lol yeah pochis useless RIGHT after he drove an entire train to one of the specific places that those special mushrooms grow and now they can all see vanilla

also kinda unrelated but this is my second game in the past few months where i correctly guessed one of the characters was voiced by megumi ogata because dang i just love her voice. this time it was pochi and the other one was the protag in the famicom detective club games. i legit heard one line and was like HOL UP and googled it lmao

i’m still confused on why the story takes place in the 90s. it doesn’t have a particularly 90s aesthetic and most of the technology just doesn’t match up with 90s tech. like i feel like it works better if it takes place more near present day. if there’s more cultural reasons then i’m not sure what they are but i’m really curious about this. the game is very reliant on japanese culture and locations, which isn’t a bad thing but i’m an ignorant american who was also born after the 90s so im wondering if there’s some specific reason why it’s SPECIFICALLY 90s japan

oh yeah i haven’t even talked about the gameplay yet. it’s.... shitty. maybe i’m a little biased because i’m not a big platformer girl but even so it’s just not.... good...... i kinda got myself soft locked one time because a big snowman guy was blocking my way and i had no way to kill him or get around him, luckily you can just restart from your last checkpoint but still. some of the special abilities/attacks just didn’t feel that good to use, like dragon boi’s and chuko’s felt too short range at times and jennu’s and aniki’s felt a little too slow. the rest were fine i guess. the only one i felt like was done well was kansai’s.

i played on easy mode cuz it was the default one that was highlighted and idk if it effects the platforming sections or the “puzzles” but the puzzles were way too easy. most of them just felt like they were checking that you paid basic attention to the story. the ones at the end are somewhat harder but i still didn’t have any problems with them. the stuff the outright tell you would have mad better puzzles like the xxy thing but at the same time were you even supposed to realize that? the otherworlder aka you i guess says it like no big deal but like i guess the middle x looked slightly different? but not enough to be like OH OBVIOUSLY ITS X TIMES Y. on the flipside i solved the heaven map puzzle before i even had all of the pieces. i guess i have to give it some slack though because it would probably be a bit harder if you didn’t really know english kinda like the danganronpa 11037 thing

also am i just stupid or how were you supposed to know the year the phone displayed was the y number in that puzzle? i forgot to get it before trying to solve the puzzle so i knew it corresponded to the y because it was the only clue i didn’t have so i didn’t have to think about it that hard but like did the phone have something to do with the letter y or was it just like a what clue haven’t i used kinda thing

anyway apologies for the super long post if you read the whole thing then wow thanks i guess? anyway in conclusion pochi is my son