#sometimes i imagine it in first person (my pov) sometimes 3rd person (spectator) and sometimes from the perspective of the oc

[skunkes]

sorry if this is a silly question but do you like. sit down and talk with your ocs in your head? and they tell you about themselves? how do you get them to reveal information....i am begging mine to let me know them orz

I do! In several different ways ^_^ the trick is to think of yourself as a character in your brain theater... ill mostly be explaining thru examples and using silly language ^_^ and its more How I Do It vs a how to....

"Sitting down and talking to em" interrogation style only happens before they're fully formed. when talon still didnt have very many traits it was like we were in a white room with 2 chairs... although you COULD make a scenario out of this its usually the Before for me. final tweaks in the form of basic traits and info before sending em out for further development

the way i get ocs to tell me about themselves is more thru actions! with talon I "locked him in a room" with al in the form of imagining how they'd meet. because I set it in talon's decrepit home with no running water or electricity, there come questions like. would he be accommodating? would he explain the vampirism or just rely on flashing his fangs or hiding them until its time to bite? these arent questions i actually went into the scenario having, but as you Play Dolls its questions that get answered anyway, ykwim? (although you could also go into the simulation (lol) with questions you want answered!) And its your brain so you can do as many takes and tweaks as you want, and things develop as you imagine the same thing, or different things, which all inform a character.

Scenarios could be anything. Im a serial daydreamer so anything goes depending on how bored I am or what im doing... and just like with real people, every scenario is a way to learn more about somebody...! It's like improv in your brain as you think up how they'd react and respond to things, and what they'd say. But also, going with your oc to the grocery store or a restaurant or to slay a dragon could give you insight into their behavior but likely not any info about their trauma or whatever, just like real people (but it also depends on the person) (and the oc!)

I DO have "sit down and talk" scenarios once i feel ive learned enough standard, early level friendship stuff about em though. It's much fun if you set the scene in your mind to mimic a real life Deep Conversation session. Sitting in the backyard on those plastic chairs, or aimless car ride at night. right now the one I keep going back to is just. Loafed in bed when you're really sleepy and just starting to say anything about anything and maybe get a little sentimental. sometimes its just me talking but I obvs have the ability to imagine how he'd be interpreting that in his brain, ykwim?? You play several roles at once I guess. It's like the sims, switching back and forth between povs, but the level of immersion i get into never feels like I'm Making Them Say It, it just feels natural at that point because I've learned enough.

There's also information that's shared by you figuring out what they'd Think (as above) vs what they say which is also fun characterwise... AND ALSO while im daydreaming scenarios I do multiple takes to find their voice. Like, I'm an overexplainer, a detailed therapy-speak-er. Sometimes I catch myself giving ocs that Voice and I have to do a retake. Like hold on, Talon would NOT be introspective. He wouldn't share all that shit I just "made" him say even if it is true and now I know about it. He'd say something insanely vague and confusing if anything at all. Let's take it from the top. etc

It rlly is about immersion! You have to have fun with it! Sometimes it's so Real to me that I genuinely can't develop an oc further because I cant make something up for them and they wont "tell me", which means I just have to spend more time with em I guess! or maybe need to leave em alone for a bit. or maybe ill never know (<- which also tells me about em!) just like real people. treat the fake people like real people in your fake dollhouse brain theater sims lot puppet show simulation.... also i added more in the tags bc i didnt know where to put it in the main txt 😭

[perpetually-forgettable]

Chapter One

Chapter Summary: We meet Bucky and reader in their junior year of high school and get a glimpse into their relationship as they lose a bet. Certain events reveal that perhaps both reader and Bucky feel something a little less innocent than just friendship.

Warnings: Lots of swearing, sexual tension, confusion, implied masturbation

Word Count: 3,544

A/N: So this is my first ever fanfiction, and I'm nervous to post a different version of a much-loved character, things will become more canon later on though. I'm new to writing in general, but especially various POVS, so hopefully it all makes sense. 

****Takes place in September of their Junior year of high school. They're both 17 but turn 18 on March 10th.****

Your best friend is James Buchanan Barnes, you call him Bucky. Your best friend since birth, seeing as the two of you were born on the same day, 30 minutes apart. And damn those 30 minutes too, because he liked to act like he was eons older than you and would tease you about it constantly. You grew up together, lived next door to each other all your lives because your mom was best friends with his mom. You celebrated birthdays together, even when you were upset with each other. You shared a party every year, blew out your candles together, took turns opening gifts but always waiting until the end to open the gifts you gave each other.

“Man, this is bullshit.” He hollered while slinking down on the small couch sheepishly, barely even on it anymore.

“MOTHERFUCKER!!!! Goddammit, Barnes, I told you we had a sniper on us. I told you not to go for the loadout yet!” You huffed at him while the sniper took you out after trying to revive him. The screen showing you placed 3rd. You quickly stood up and angrily pressed the buttons on your controller to get out of the game lobby before plopping down on your back on his bed.

“I told you. I fucking told you, Buck!! Now we owe Steve 50 bucks.”

He didn’t reply. Only staring in your direction on his bed with mixed emotions. You played Call of Duty: Warzone frequently. Either together or alone and you were good. Hella good. So good that Bucky’s friend from the football team made a bet with you guys. The bet was that him and his friend Tony would place 1st and have a higher kill count than you and Bucky, whoever made it the longest got 50 bucks, whoever got the highest kill count got to choose a new bundle with weapons and stuff that the loser had to pay for. You and Bucky placed 3rd, but Steve and Tony were still alive, so they automatically won the 50 bucks. You spectated them while they played still to see the ending kill count. You had the highest.

Bucky finally spoke. “I’m sorry y/n. That was totally on me.” He sighed and moped towards you and plopped onto the bed face first next to you.

You turned your head to him. “Your damn right it was. You have to pay him the whole 50 bucks, I’m not paying half for your fuck up.”

“Ugh. Fine. Just shut up about it already.” Closing his eyes.

You crossed your arms under your breasts and taunted “No, I don’t think I will.”

He lifted his head and looked your way with a smirk. Then he began to try to shove you off his bed. You squealed and tried to hang onto something or roll over to the other side or anything to keep you from hitting the floor. Giggling and screaming you grabbed his pushing hand and rolled over closer to him, ending up laying prone on his back while he was still face down on the bed. Both of you stilled for a moment to catch your breath. He bent his arms to use his hands as pillows when he started half rolling side to side to get you off his back. You squealed again and clung to him as best you could. You squeezed your thighs on him, and your hands clung to his arms that pillowed his head, noticing the hard planes of muscles you hadn’t really cared to notice before. You knew he was muscular, he was on the football team and trained and worked out regularly. But something inside you changed with this newfound knowledge of what his biceps felt like under your tight grip. No…it’s not that you never noticed his muscles before, you just never appreciated them like you were now. You stilled, about to get off him when he lifted himself off the bed, with you still on his back. You let out a startled cry and wrapped your arms around his torso and legs around his waist from behind in fear of meeting the floor with your face.

Bucky was laughing the entire time, now breathing heavy, he lifted up more and put one knee on the edge of the bed and the other foot on the floor and violently turned to the side to shrug you off him and onto the bed. Your body was thrown, and you bounced as your back landed on the mattress. You laid there, chest heaving from laughing and something else you were unsure of, your hair fallen from your messy bun splayed onto the bed and smiled up at him.

He looked down on you grinning wide and laughed. “You done now you jackass?”

You silently nodded yes, still laying on the bed trying to catch your breath and calm your nerves. He moved to the couch to start a movie when his phone notification went off. He grabbed it and sighed after seeing it was from Steve.

*Guess your girl ain’t as good as she thinks she is huh? I’ll hold up my end once I get what I earned. See you at the game tomorrow bitch. *

Bucky groaned and threw the phone down on the couch and sighed. You went over to read the text and sat down next to him on the small sofa that barely fit the two of you. Reading the text pissed you off. Steve could be so cocky sometimes. He thinks because he finally made varsity that he’s tough shit, when Bucky has been varsity since sophomore year. “God, he’s such a dick.”

Bucky took his phone from your hands. “Yeah, but a bet is a bet. I’ll pay him myself tomorrow at the game. Don’t worry about it.” He leaned back to get comfortable, pressing play on Top Gun. It was a favorite for both of you, something y'all have watched a million times but still enjoyed it.

You crossed your legs under you and tried to get comfortable. “You better. Also, make sure you leave an opening tomorrow for someone to tackle his ass.”

Bucky snickered. “I’ll do my best.”

Sitting next to Bucky in such close proximity like this never used to be a problem. In fact, more often than not you leaned on each other’s shoulders or put your legs or head in each other’s laps when you watched movies or played video games. This time was different though. You were slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it was the frolicking on the bed with Bucky’s hard muscles from earlier or the fact that, despite frontward appearances, you felt some type of way when Steve essentially called you Bucky’s girl in his text. It was weird for something that simple to set you on edge. But here you were, sitting next to Bucky like you have a million times before, feeling….weird. Watching the same movie you have a million times before but again….feeling weird. So weird in fact that once the infamous Take My Breath Away scene was about to happen you shot up to your feet like the couch cushion personally offended your backside. You moved so fast you made Bucky jump and clutch his chest.

“Jesus y/n, where’s the fire?” He exhaled.

You took a deep breath and didn’t even try to hide the fact you didn’t have an excuse. “I’m gonna go home, I’ll…text you later.” And you walked out of his room, down the stairs, out his front door, down the handful of steps on the porch, onto the sidewalk then turned right and walked a few feet, then up your porch steps, through your front door, up your stairs, into your room and planted yourself face first in your bed to muffle the “What the fuck?” that escaped your mouth.

That was fucking weird he thought to himself once y/n left. But he could finally relax and he was honestly more than a little thankful. For some reason every since he fucked up and cost her the bet, he’s been tense. He felt bad, yeah, but it all started when she went and laid down on his bed. He wasn’t sure why it bugged him, but it did. And then when she laid on his back. He enjoyed it a little, feeling the pressure of her body on top of his. That’s why he started moving, to try and get her off of him, only to realize how strong she was when she clung to him the way she did. Looking at y/n, nobody would think she had such a strong grip, let alone the power her thighs held. The places his mind went when she put her legs around him were involuntary, but not exactly unwelcome. He knew he had to get her off of him. This is y/n for crying out loud he chastised himself. He’s never imagined her that way, never let his mind wander about her. That was until he looked down at her on his bed. Breathing so heavy it made her breasts bounce ever so slightly. Her hair a mess all around her and smiling up at him. After teasing her he had to get some distance from her, not realizing the couch was not the best place for that when Steve texted him.

*…your girl…*

Seeing those words made him groan. Out loud. He played it off as frustration at the text and threw his phone for good measure. Silently cursing himself as the action only brought her to his side. He tried to distract his wayward thoughts with a movie they had watched so often they could say every line by heart. He noticed y/n didn’t seem comfortable. Her body rigid and she didn’t invade his personal space as much as she usually did. But then again, he didn’t either. Then he heard the opening chords to Take My Breath away, knowing what scene was about to take place and his heart rate picked up speed, he was nervous. Then y/n shot up like a bullet from a gun and jolted his mind back into reality. And then she left.

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Bucky and y/n had been friends for all of their lives. Literally. They shared a bed on family vacations, took baths together as toddlers, grew to love the same TV shows and movies, played baseball and football together, went on hikes together. There wasn’t much they haven’t done together. All their lives they had each other. No matter what.

With a sigh, he looked at the time on his phone and decided it was late enough to consider going to bed. He stood up and walked to the bed, taking off his shirt and jeans and getting into bed. He rolled over and let out a pained groan into the pillow when he smelled the combination of her perfume and shampoo. Y/n is his best friend. His best friend that he was now thinking of as his briefs began tightening. Why? Why of all people is this his body’s response to? He had had sex before, a few times actually. He’s had a few girlfriends and was not shy about his capabilities in that regard. But he would be lying if he said the images his hormone-driven brain conjured of y/n didn’t make him blush.

Much to his dismay, his fist found its way into his briefs to relive some of his frustration. After his thoughts ran rampant he finally found his release. Covered in sweat, his breath ragged when his phone buzzed with a video chat incoming. Seeing her name and photo, he contemplated whether or not he should answer it, deciding to answer it despite his current state.

“Hey, did I leave my wallet over there? I can’t find it anywhere” she asked before the video even connected. When it did he saw her hair was wet, leaving wet marks on the Mandalorian t-shirt he had bought for her after they watched the show together. He also noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra, probably getting ready for bed.

Finally seeing his end of the video chat after looking for her wallet some more and not hearing a response from him, she saw that he was laying in bed, his hair sticking to his forehead, his chest glistening, and breathing a little heavy. “Hey…are you okay?” She stopped roaming around and sat on her bed.

“Yea….I’m okay. Just….uhh…yeah, I’m okay.” He sat up and did his best not to make a bigger mess. He made sure to hold the phone in a way that didn’t put the evidence of his previous activities on display for her. “Just…hold on….gimme a sec.” He grunted as he set the phone down to show y/n the ceiling as he got up and cleaned himself up a bit.

After donning a pair of pajama pants, making sure to hide the mess he grabbed his phone and searched for y/n’s Batman wallet.

“I’m not seeing it doll, did you take it out here at all or do you think it fell out somewhere?” He looked by the couch, his computer desk, the bookshelf, and the little table by the TV and didn’t see anything.

She was silent and just stared at him for a minute before sighing “I don’t remember. Between losing the bet and you assaulting me I can’t remember taking it out of my back pocket. I’ll just come by tomorrow before the game to look, I wanna sleep in a bit in the morning” she let out a breath as she laid down in her bed and rolled to the side. His mind wandering again, seeing her like this.

“Yeah….okay. I’ll…umm.. I’ll keep looking but I’ve gotta get to sleep soon. Big game tomorrow.” He chuckled under his breath, getting back into bed and laying the same way y/n did. They both just smiled at each other for a second, neither saying anything.

“Okay…well I’ll be there when I wake up. If you’re already gone for the game I’ll look myself and meet you at the field. I’ll be on the sidelines as always.” She responded, smiling softly.

Bucky smiled at her. “Okay…if you can’t find it I’ll buy you dinner tomorrow night after the game. And drive you to DMV and all that other bullshit.”

“Okay, but just so you know…I’m not getting a fucking salad.”

Raising his eyebrows “Oh I know, I’ve seen you eat y/n. You eat more than I do” He chuckled. “Where do you hide all that food anyway? I’m not convinced you actually eat it, you’re too small.”

“Too small my ass!” She snorted.

“Nah…your ass is just fine.” He smirked, not realizing what he just admitted.

Y/n was silent.

Bucky yawned and groaned while stretching “Alright doll, I need to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night.”

“Goodnight Buck.” She whispered before ending the video chat.

Bucky sighed. Dammit. He was being weird. Doll? What is wrong with him? He plugged his phone into the charger and set it down, rolling over and forcing y/n out of his thoughts so he could attempt sleep.

When you got home earlier you decided to take a shower, somehow settling on a temperature cooler than that which you usually enjoyed. With the cool water running over your hair you thought back on the way Bucky felt underneath you. You had been in close proximity to his body before but this time, you really took notice. He was strong and hard beneath you, his arms flexing as he moved beneath you.

You angrily grabbed your shampoo and lathered your hair, not wanting to think about his body. Rinsing out the shampoo you found the combination of the cool water and the soapy remnants of your shampoo sliding down your chest sent a shockwave straight to your core. Feeling your arousal growing you made quick work of conditioning your hair and grabbing your body wash, you lathered and scrubbed your body, reluctantly imagining bigger and rougher hands roaming your body instead of your own. After rinsing off you felt your hand slide downwards and decided to let your imagination run wild. Just this once.

The water from your shower was now ice cold. With your breathing still labored you quickly washed your body again, trying your best to imagine you washing away the dirtiness of the things you just did, hoping it would ease your mind. It didn’t.

Getting out of the shower you quickly dried your hair in a towel, scolding yourself of thinking of Bucky that way. He was your friend, it was wrong to imagine him in anything but that context. You felt like you betrayed him, corrupted your friendship with your dirty thoughts.

After putting on a shirt and some underwear you went in search of your wallet, and the small picture of the two of you at the state fair last fall when you both piled into the smallest photo booth you’ve ever been in, still smiling and laughing after he won a stuffed animal from one of the games. You tried to beat him because you really wanted that Pikachu plushie, but he knocked the tin target down before you. He chose the Pikachu, teasing you about it all the way to the cotton candy vendor. After admitting defeat, you paid for two cotton candy sticks and then proceeded to slowly eat yours and handing him his, only to grab it out of his reach in the last second and eating it all in a matter of seconds. You both laughed so hard you were crying. He called you a pig and took your sticky hand and lead you to the photo booth, tears still in your eyes. It was one of your favorite memories of him and you each got a small set of three pictures from the photo booth. You saved them in your wallet so you could look at them as often as you wanted. Smiling every time you did.

In your room, you noticed your wallet was nowhere to be found. You checked everywhere. You were actually really upset about it. Maybe you forgot it at Bucky’s, or it had fallen out of your pocket after the incident on the bed. You grabbed your phone and initiated a video call while still looking in your room for your wallet. At the sound of the line connecting, you asked him if your wallet was over there, not bothering to look at the screen. When he didn’t say anything, you finally saw the state he was in. He wasn’t wearing a shirt so you could see his broad chest heaving up and down, his hair plastered to his forehead, you saw the sweat collecting at the hollow of his neck and your imagination took off. Remembering the reason behind your call, you asked Bucky if he was okay, he looked worn out and…weird. You couldn’t place the expression on his face and when he replied his voice was rough and gravelly, finding that it pleased you in a way you didn’t like to think about.

When he set the phone down all you could see was the ceiling, but you heard him grunt and rummage around. He picked up the phone and began searching. Then he called you doll. And your heart simultaneously stopped and beat out of your chest. You didn’t know what to say. How do you respond to that? You laid down on your bed, rolling to your side and Bucky did the same. You explained you’d just go over tomorrow to look yourself because he was so clueless sometimes, keeping the reasoning why to yourself. You had a spare key to his house so even if he left for the game by the time you got there it wouldn’t be an issue. The team had to get ready and be at the field way before the gates opened anyways. Bucky offered to buy you dinner and help you get everything squared away in the event you truly did lose your wallet. After your joke about a salad and some snarky remarks, he complimented your ass with that shit-eating smirk he used when flirting with the cheerleaders. You again were stunned into silence again, worsening your shock when he called you doll…again.

After you ended the call, you laid there, replaying everything since losing the bet over and over in your mind, trying to figure out what changed. Because there was something different now when you and Bucky spoke. Something that made you a little excited and nervous, mostly nervous. Long gone was the friendship you once had. You weren’t sure how, but you knew there was a change now.

Deciding not the think about it anymore, you settled in for the night. Telling yourself everything was fine. It was just a weird day. Things would go back to normal. No big deal. You forced your mind to quiet, to erase all the wanton thoughts in your mind of Bucky until finally, you fell into a fitful sleep.

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