#somone make this go viral

[exlwandering]

Found a writing prompt, it was "How to Perfectly Cook Your Human" took it and ran, gets a little weird and gross so CW for gore. Cannibalism, and misuse of a medical cadaver. Also lots of cooking descriptions. Enjoy 🔪🥩

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How to Cook Perfect Human: A Tutorial

Hey, Im dead. I'm also called cadaver 23. Not my name but who the hell and I to tell the doc what I’m called. Today’s topic of discussion is not how horrible Mr. William Burke is at his job at selling corpses, today we talk about a very viral topic indeed. Can anyone guess it? Well, it’s CANNABILISUM!!! Exciting I know! And today's meal? Me. and tommorows and the day after… Probably for a while honestly im about 180 pounds and people tend to not eat over a pound of meat for like a whole week so… I’ll be on the menu until I go bad, guess he’s stuck with me. But enough about me and how many portions I am, lets talk about the real reason you’re here, to eat. 

Step One:  Get the meat. (This is arguably the easiest step apart from actually eating lol) First you need to find the right person tho, this is done by looking for people like Mr. William Burke, a freelance Broker (somone who sells deep people, aka people not fun at parties, like really dude, so many jobs and you pick seeling dead  dudes… I’m not one to judge tho.) Someone like him is slopy, (I mean it’s not like he has any idea what he’s doing??? He literally took my head off with a chainsaw in his back yard??? xD Guess I am one to judge lol) Any way because he’s got no Idea whats going on, and frankly neither do I, he sells for really cheep. The Rich B**** TM cadavers are worth like 5,000 big bucks for the whole thing, but people like me , ya boy, are like a couple hundo for all of me and like 200 for just a leg (I mean common, talk about a bargain baabaay!!!) After you’ve confirmed that I’m cheep all you gotta do is send some emails! I mean like, he’ll try and sound like he knows what he’s doing so he don’t get sued by a cadavers family but like… It’s not like he doing back round checks or anything so… You know what to do ;)

Step Two: Get Your Ingredients!!!  I suggest, since you’ll be getting me for like a bargain, you totally need to be buying some good spices for me, like rosemary, garlic, (running out of spices here…>:/) you get the gist. You also need to figure out how youll be cooking me! My personal fave would be a pot roast. Before I became a cadaver I lived for a good roast, it was my favorite meal growing up, so obvs you should be cooking me like that! For me!!! My Memory! Ya know, what I would want… Yeah. But. Ya know that’s totally not the only way to cook me. You could make pulled human, I heard human tastes and acts like pork so. You could also grind me up and make human burgers. Or even stake, make me look like an expensive dish! You get the idea, anythings on the table, just don’t burn me… Unless that’s what you want. Then I guess do it. :< It would make a sad tho. 

Step Three: Cook Me. Before we go forward, I wanna make something clear, I never ate human, or cooked it. So I’m not an expert on this part, I am on step one, not so much step two, I could never really buy expensive stuff before being Cadaver 23 so, I don’t know much, but these next steps I’m completely in the dark here. SO >:) From now on I’ll be talking about what I directly experience as I’m cooked. HERE WE GO!!!! The cooking requires some prep, one of the first things I felt happen was the skin being removed and placed aside, while this was happening I hear the guy preparing me talking about how tasty the skin can be when fried, like pork skins! Mmmm, yummy, (TBH one of my most fav road trip snacks). After this My thighs and calves are pried from the bones, said bones maserfally ripped apart from each other. After this, the four biggest bones and are put on a cutting board before being split right down the middle. They did this four excruciating times guys (talk about over kill). He places each bone of a pan with pepper to taste before putting them in the oven to roast the marrow. Both of my claves are cut into medium sized cubes, the exsus being thrown away, like nothing. Each side of my cubes are placed on a frying pan before sauce is put in with me, and I’m left to simmer until thoroughly cooked. One thigh is cut into sizable pieces before being put in a dutch oven with spices and hearty veges like potatoes and carrots and one big thing of garlic to roast us together. When I’m cooked they take forkes to me and pull me apart, mixing in some rosemary and other things that they desired. One thigh is cut into one thick slab before being placed in a cooker with large cut vegies like potatoes and celery and carrots, (woldn’t you know it their making a healthier meal with me than I ever ate before being… yeah. Their meal.) I’m a fancy steak, a pulled human, and most importantly I’m a pot roast now. But that’s not all, like they promised my skin is used, cut into rectangle shapes and placed into a large bowl of boiling oil, my skin bubbles and curls in on itself before becoming translucent and hard, easily snapped. My bones are finally pulled out of the oven, my marrow scooped out with a spoon and placed in a small bowl. I’m finished.

Step four: enjoy. I can feel their teeth. There’s three of them, which explains the three cooking methods. The fork goes through my muscles in one plate, on another I’m scooped up by a fork and pressed down by a partition of cubed potato, and finally on another plate- no a bowl, I’m picked up by a spoon filled with hot broth that burns everywhere it touches. Carrots, potatoes, and celery floats beside my thigh muscles. The slow grinding of my flesh is constant and thruming until I am mush. I crack and squelch between their teeth. My Skin snappeing and mosining and turning to mush and then nothing, only sunsitnace for their bodies. I’m also in the bowl next to the bread, still warm as My Marrow is scooped onto a butter knife and scrapped atop toasted bread slices and once again swallowed. I am in three bowls. I am in two plates. I am in three bellies.

I don’t know much about how to cook a human to perfection, but I do know one thing, I am now a perfectly cooked human. That’s all. Finally. 

[pettypeer]

I wish this was how I came out

So I was talking to my mom and she said that I would make a good doctor. She then backtracked and said I should marry a doctor. I told her that was the plan, and then she looked at me and said, “But you’d never let a man support you”. I looked her dead in the eye and said “Who says I’m marrying a man”. Her eyes lit up and she said touché repeatedly as I walked away. She was proud of me and the comeback.

[f-ferrari-forever]

Skate America Ladies FS Thoughts

As a disclaimer, I come from watching 2 other sports that are undoubtedly objective. I understand that in contrast, figure skating is an incredibly subjective sport, but I don't agree with the fact that the federation a skater belongs to or a coach's name and prestige should influence scoring. This is just my opinion, and everyone is free to agree or disagree respectfully as they choose.

1. Yuhana Yokoi's opening 2A was huge and I think one of the best in the competion.

2. Ekaterina Kurakova is an absolute precious little ray of sunshine, and her component score and GOES should have been higher.

3. Starr Andrews had such passion skating to Beyoncé, you could literally tell she loves the program. Higher components score I think were in order here as well.

4. OMG, Audrey Shin, I just wanted to give her a hug, that was painful to watch and probably more painful to witstand. I really hope she comes back stronger, she seems like she has solid skating skills.

5. Satoko Myanhara is a goddess, period.

6. Amber Glenn, I wish a consistent 3A for her because she trully has such energy on the ice that few other skaters posses. She's fierce and explosive and I really hope she makes it far.

7. Yelim Kim, such a shame she fell on that opening combination, I didn't want to say it in my SP thoughts, but her technique reminds me of Yuna and I hope she gets better as the season progresses.

8. Young You - Sasha may have won the event, but I personally think Young had the most to gain from the competion. She was just amaizing, and I had a moment in which I was upset she hadn't placed second, but I realise now that the SP score contributed heavily to that.

9. Kaori Sakomoto, my baby, she changed the ending pose after Japan Open lmao. Her reactions are so cute, and I can't stress how much I love her music. I really hope she gets a score like in the WTT soon.

10. Kseniia Sinitsyna - sadly, expect for that beautiful Ina Bauer, which was fantastic, she was very forgetable for me personally.

11. Daria Usacheva - same as Kseniia, sadly. Her SP is much better than the FS, I think the music may be a little too mature for her to fully connect to. On a negative sidenote, I really didn't like how, while Daria was awaiting her scores, cameras showed Sasha and Eteri. I understand that Sasha was the favourite. If I am not mistaken, it happened in the SP as well, although I'm not sure if the overlap was again with Daria or with somone else. I think we either overlap for all skaters, or we don't at all. I don't think it is psychologically helping Daria, or anyone else for that matter. That was Daria's moment, and it should have stayed that way, in my opinion, no matter who skated next.

12. Alexandra Trusova - a queen. She went for only one quad, one of the hardest, and landed it despite being injured. I hope she gets back to full form soon. On a side note, I do think that Sasha's goal this season, besides the obvious Olympic gold, is to finally make figure skating go viral. And I really hope it does, and we see figure skating as no longer being quite a niche sport. I say this with all the love in the world for classical, ballet like skates, but the only way to do that is with contemporary, lyrical, even storytelling music that some may percieve as too loud. Look at Starr and Kaori for instance, those programs give me the same impression as Sasha's.

[polynotes]

1. If you want to know about your partner's STI risks, you should start that conversation. Yes, if your partner knows there's a substantial risk of them giving you an STI, they should say something before exposing you to that risk. But there's also a lot of shame, a lot of fear around disclosure, and a big lack of info. So if you want to know, you should ask. 2. If you want your partner to disclose STI risk honestly, you should: A. Make sure they feel safe telling you. (Violence against people with STIs is real. A lot of people equate having HIV with being gay. Homophobia is also real.) B. Make sure they know that what they tell you will be private. (Social shame around STIs is also real.) C. Make sure they have the opportunity to choose not to have sex with you without disclosing STI risks or revealing that they are declining to have sex with you because they don't want to disclose STI risks. You have a right to make informed decisions. They have a right to privacy. 3. "Do you have any STIs?" is not the best question. They might not know. - Not all STIs have syptoms all the time. You can pass a STI to someone else without ever knowing you have it. - STI tests can't test for everything, and people usually aren't even tested for everything it's possible to test for. - Tests might not show as positive for recent infections, and they are never accurate 100% of time. And that's not actually a perfect assement of risk. - If someone knows they have HIV, is on treatment, and is virally suppressed, their chance of passing HIV to someone else is near zero. The chance of getting HIV from somone who thinks they're negative is almost always significantly higher. To actually assess risk, you need to ask more questions. You need to know: - when they were tested - what they were tested for - who've they've been having sex with - What kinds of sex they've been having - what protection they've been using - If there's anything else that makes them concerned they may have gotten an STI 4. This knowledge is worthless if you're not going to do something with it. Do you know what risks you're willing to take? Do you know what activities you'd do with who using what kinds of protection? If you don't, why are you bothering to ask? *** I recognize that the above is asking a lot. And the thing is, you don't have to do any of it. The alternative is that you decide what kinds of risks you'll take and safer sex decisions you'll make without this knowledge, and accept the associated risks. That is a valid choice.

[seriousbusinessforhumans]

(Update: CHAZ is now CHOP. Capitol Hill Occupied Protest)

(Selected segments of the article)

Jun 11

Since a lot of the narratives swirling around about Seattle right now are less-than-insightful, I’m sharing a few points to help contextualize the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone in the bigger picture of the dizzying terrain that is Seattle history.

1. Seattle = American settler capitalism on steroids

Since its 19th century gold rush beginnings, Seattle has attracted prospectors of all sorts. Their economic prosperity has always come at a price for somone else: on February 7, 1865, the Seattle Board of Trustees passed an ordinance that banned “indians” from living within city limits, with the exception of those who were employed and housed by white settlers. To this day, the Duwamish—the original inhabitants of what is now Seattle — do not have federal recognition from the US government. Meanwhile, the city of Seattle is named for a Duwamish Chief, whose face is also used as a city logo.

Subsequent boom-and-bust periods followed, largely driven by rapid growth in high-tech industries. Within a year of the founding of the Boeing company in 1916, the US had entered World War I, and Boeing was fulfilling military contracts. The company’s founder, William Boeing, saw to it that his personal racism would have a lasting impact on the city’s widening economic inequality by authoring bylaws that restricted the sale of real estate in his neighborhood to anyone who wasn’t white. The legacy of racially-restrictive housing covenants in Seattle is a staggering wealth gap: In 2019, the median net worth of a white household in the region was $456,000. For Black households, it was $23,000.

Seattle’s most recent growth cycle, of course, is dominated by Amazon, which surpassed Microsoft in 2019 as the region’s #1 employer, with more than 53,500 local employees, most of which were added over the last decade. While Seattle became the hottest housing market in the country, many African American households were displaced from the Central District, the only neighborhood where they were allowed to own homes for decades. (Read what groups like Africatown and Wa Na Wari are doing to respond to gentrification here and here.)

Meanwhile, Seattle’s homeless rate grew to the third in the nation................

2. Durkan is a pro-corporate, anti-activist mayor

Amazon’s influence over local politics cannot be overstated. In 2019, Amazon poured millions of dollars into “Seattle’s Most Expensive Election Ever” in an attempt to buy candidates who will not try to tax them. In 2017, they gave $350,000 —their largest-ever political contribution at the time—to a group supporting Jenny Durkan for mayor.

If I had to describe Seattle’s mayor in one sentence, it would be this: Before Durkan was mayor, she was a US Attorney who conspired with the SPD and FBI to pay a convicted child molester $90,000 to infiltrate activist circles. In 2013, she explained her rationale: “It’s not the saints who can bring us the sinners.”.....

3. Seattle’s distrust of the police runs deep

Since 2012, the Seattle Department has been under a federal consent decree for excessive use of force. Here’s how King5 described the circumstances leading up to that ruling:

The Department of Justice began investigating SPD in 2011 after community leaders said police were using excessive force particularly on minorities.

One of those instances cited in the decree was the death of John T. Williams, when an officer was caught shouting they would “beat the f — — — — Mexican piss” out of a Latino man in custody. Another was an incident where a Seattle police officer punched a 17-year-old black girl in the face.

As US attorney, Jenny Durkan personally investigated the SPD’s uses of force that led to the consent decree, and for this reason, having the consent decree perceived as successful has been one of the cornerstones of her tenure as mayor. Back in May, the city asked a federal judge to terminate the consent decree—a motion that has been withdrawn in light of recent events. Durkan’s recent behavior, however, seems to suggest that she believes the consent decree was successful—at a press conference on June 7, she responded to a question about rebuilding the SPD by claiming that a restructuring had already taken place under the consent decree.

And yet, even under the consent decree, the violent and biased behavior has continued. In 2016, Seattle police shot and killed Che Taylor. The officers responsible got off without charges, and later sued Kshama Sawant for describing the killing as “murder.” (Taylor’s brother, Andrè Taylor, was recently interviewed about current events in the New Yorker.) In 2017, Seattle police shot and killed a pregnant mother of four named Charleena Lyles in her home, in front of her children. This incident sparked a new wave of protests and pushback, bringing new attention and energy to defunding and abolitionist movements that were already going on. (During a march for justice for Charleena Lyles, I personally witnessed Seattle Police shooting tear gas and blastballs into a crowd that included babies and elders.)..........................

4. Distrust of police has recently intensified

Just a sampling of the events that have weakened trust in the past two weeks:

Continuing to use tear gas — a dangerous and potentially deadly chemical weapon banned in international warfare — days after falsely promising that tear gas would no longer be used.

The arrest of Evan Hreha, who had posted a viral video days earlier of a young child who had just been pepper sprayed by Seattle police.

The excessively violent arrest (livestreamed by many residents at the time) of another protester, who was accused of allegedly tapping a police officer with her bicycle.

The situation involving Nikolas Fernandez, who barreled down the street in a car on a collision course with protesters, shot a protester, and ran to the police. (It was later revealed that his brother worked at the East Precinct.) Fernandez’s last Instagram post before the incident was a meme minimizing the value of race-based civil rights struggles; while he was in police custody, his Instagram was scrubbed clean.

Multiple falsehoods that have been asserted by the Seattle police have been credulously and unquestioningly amplified by local networks (such as the Sinclair-owned KOMO). This includes the accusation of protesters throwing “improvised explosives”—(the image they shared was clearly of a broken prayer candle).

More recently, the accusation was made during a press conference that “armed guards are requiring IDs for people to walk through the area of the East Precinct and requiring business owners in the area to pay a “fee” to enter”—a false claim that has been debunked by area businesses. The Seattle Times later traced the claim to a comment on a post made by instigators on a right-wing blog. Meanwhile, FOX News and other national outlets have continued to push this blatant falsehood.

On the night of June 8, after the police retreated from the East Precinct, police could be heard over their scanner warning about “20 to 30 Proud Boys” making their way to the area, perhaps in an attempt to scare away protesters. It is doubtful whether these Proud Boys existed. (A widely circulated image of a protester with a gun was taken that night, when protesters had reason to believe that they needed to protect themselves from roving street gangs.)

SPD Chief Carmen Best called the department’s retreat from the intersection an exercise in “trust and de-escalation.” But the erosion of the city’s trust in its police have only been exacerbated by the department’s handling of recent events. As Lola E. Peters wrote,

Had [Mayor Durkan] and Seattle Police Chief Carmen Best taken early, decisive steps — including immediately announcing the name of the officer who, on May 30, allegedly pepper sprayed a child and firing him or her on the spot — without using the amoral language of politispeak to shield themselves, they would have gained a measure of respect. Instead we hear about the importance of protecting those who are fully armored from those wearing T-shirts and sneakers.

5. Nikkita Oliver is the true mayor of our hearts

In 2017, attorney, poet, and activist Nikkita Oliver launched a bid to become mayor of Seattle. While her campaign, running on an anti-gentrification and social justice platform, was ultimately defeated in a crowded primary, her People’s Party captured national attention and helped set the tone of an agenda that continues to shine through in the best aspirations of the events of the past weeks. Oliver is a good person to follow for information about current events. (Another Seattleite to follow is Omari Salisbury, a citizen journalist whose coverage over the past two weeks has been nothing short of heroic.).................An excellent interview with Nikkita Oliver about current events was just published by Vanity Fair.

6. The Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone is, by and large, a supremely peaceful endeavor

I do not say this to delegitimize more confrontational tactics — Martin Luther King, Jr. called riots the “language of the unheard.” But the organizers who have the most at stake have made clear that they wanted to handle the retreat of the police from the area peacefully, and protesters have overwhelmingly respected their wishes. In his interview with the New Yorker, Andrè Taylor, whose brother was killed by Seattle police in 2016, said that despite the photogenic images that came out of the first night of rioting, he wanted to keep the focus on the unidirectionality of the violence inflicted on private citizens by the heavily armed, heavily funded police department.

A shrine honoring George Floyd and other victims of police violence has been constructed on the site. A makeshift outdoor theater, screening documentaries like Ava DuVernay’s 13th, now occupies the corner that was a battlefield for a week. Local activists are sharing food, playing music, and talking about ways to construct a more equitable future. The only thing to fear here is the threat posed by the people coming together for a common cause.

One valid question I have seen come up has to do with the extent to which the CHAZ experiment will center BIPOC voices. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for white activists to co-opt movements started by Black and brown organizers, and the avoidance of this dynamic will no doubt pose a continuous challenge. As of this moment, none of the demands of organizers have been met by the city, though the move to defund the police is now on the table in a way that would not have been possible without these protests.

“It’s one thing to take a space, it’s another thing to turn a space into something functional that actually serves the community,” Nikkita Oliver told Vanity Fair. “You know, Seattle is the second city to have a Black Panther Party, and one of the hallmarks of the Black Panther Party was that they met the needs of the community.”

Whatever happens in the coming days, It is my sincere hope that the guiding principle will be the one that brought Seattle to this inflection point:

BLACK LIVES MATTER 🖤

[enchantedbliss-blog]

some story

Wrote on the way to Bagar, a day before the GF induction. Please think of a title.

It all started when he was strolling along the Ujjain railway station platform. The Jaipur Express had halted for the usual 15 minutes there, and he had decided to unclam his limbs.

He got himself a cup of tea, and was returning some calls when he stumbled on a few glass-pieces. “Fucktard,” he thought about wheoever had dropped - intentionally or no - an Amul Kool glass bottle on the platform and had - obviously intentionally - walked away letting the pieces lie there, waiting for somone to walk over them and hurt themselves.

He bigan picking them up, and placing them in the more or less intact biggest piece of the bottle. After putting the whole thing away, well, out of harm’s way, he began thinking seriously about a silly thought that had come to him while he was collecting the pieces.

“Maybe it’s a prank by some MTV like people,” he had though, “like that guy who moved the stone lying in the middle of the road, placed there by the king to see if his subjects even thought of moving it. Well, no bag of gold for me!”

The idea had seemed stupid then. “But what if someone actually did it, and people began to notice good deeds earning recognition?” You wouldn’t need bags of gold, of course. A few Facebook shares, retweets +1s were sufficient these days.

Always up for a social experiment (like the time he had texted “you look fat in that dress” to all his female acquaintances) he began putting up the machinery in place.

“Let there be a YouTube channel.” And it all started.

The first day, he purchased spy cams. Only a few of them, other would come later.

The next day, a few tricks to pull off were designed.

This went on for a while, until the last day, the first video was published.

And he rested on the seventh day, for it was Sunday, and he had nothing better to do.

... Or so the PR Agency tells us. There’s no way for us to know who this person was or is. Similar efforts have come up since then, and indeed have been going on for even before this one. But since the introduction of this particular PR agency, there have been debates on which of them points to the ‘really’ good deed.

Is it okay to collect the garbage and put in in one place, or must one put it in the dustbin as well?

Is it okay to treat other men like garbage, and put them in the dustbin if they don’t do as biddne?

Is there The One Certifier of Good Deed or are there others?

Do different Certifiers appreciate helping old people cross roads and garbage collection, or is it all handled by a single person (or an agencey, acting on behalf of him)?

While there were such questions abound, other poeple started a different kind of debate. “Why do good just because someone will shoot your video and post i on the Internet?” they asked.

Of course, there were cases where actors of some of the most viral videos spoke out against issues that weren’t even related. People of a particular color or class or sexual orientation or even gender weren’t allowed to benefit from such good deeds, apparently.

Of course, it helped that there were people who didn’t take part in pointless debates and saw through His (as the PR Agency would have us all call Him) intentions - your intentions didn’t matter a whole lot. What mattered was that more good deeds were getting done than bad. And while it was possible for some people to take advantage of this point of view were it written down, it was best to judge oneself and one’s own actions as best as one could. That no one paid much attention to them was also equally obvious, since they never took the pains to publicize themselves.

And of course there were people who condemned you to death if you didn’t have a single video to your credit - regardless of whether it was because of the simple mistake on the Certifiers’ part that they didn’t have enough videos, there were those who pointed out it was impossible to know The Certifier and that all the PR agencies just make things up for earning money and Twitter followers, and those who made their money by bringing this issue into every conceivable act in the life of a person.

Ending 1:

He didn’t know what he had wrought. Most of this was long after he died. He had a hunch things could spiral out of control, but had trusted the PR Agent to have enough sense to not let them. A few of them had turned out OK, but many didn’t, and the whole idea of doing good seemed to be slowly fading out of the world.

So much for the simple-minded wish that the threat of Him Coming Again and Judging Them All would keep them in check!

Ending 2:

He kew exactly how things would go out of hand. So he just wrote a blog about it all, hoping people would get th epoint and slept peacefully through the last night on the train.

While typing this, I got to know that Me from the Past used to

- use “men” instead of “people” while referring to “people”. Hmph.

- make frequent was-had mistakes

[tt-review]

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