#sorry I’m lying in my dark room for five minutes and my strokes of genius just start striking

[foegs]

evil plots and thoughts but I think I can sate my urge to have “this is my girlfriend don’t touch him” sweaters for all my favourite hockeys if I purchase and customize a blank white jersey with swappable velcro strips for team colours and add another large velcro patch in the front which will correlate with sublimated printed fabric patches of each girlfriend’s face so I can change it up whenever I want and also only need one sweater to wear to games. somehow this will still be cheaper to make than buying a jersey each for cm97 and ts18 and ky56 and bt7 and op25

[sanderssidesgoodomens]

Chapter 3

Word count: 1190 

Warnings: swearing, reckless driving, food mention, satanic nuns, pregnancy (???) Anything else let me know!

Crowley was all in favour of Armageddon in general terms. But it was one thing to work to bring it about, and quite another for it to actually happen.

“This is great. Just fan-fucking-tastic.” Darren drives recklessly as he speaks, each word dripping with sarcasm. “Why me?!” The radio host's voice morphs into someone else's. “It’s because you earned it, didn’t you? What you did to the M25 was a stroke of demonic genius, darling.”

“Yeah, the M25..I’m glad it went down so well.” Darren was a liar, this is one of the main parts of his personality. He is, currently, lying. “Here are your instructions. This is the bing one, Darren.”

 White fog comes out from the radio player and seeps into Darren’t eyes and nose as he takes in the information. The bright light of a nearby truck is the only thing to snap him out of it as he swerves around it. The basket(s), Darren had placed in the back, lid flies open revealing a small baby. They cry at all the loud noises being made as Darren’s car squeaks on the road.

A sushi chef holds out a plate of sushi and places it in front of Logan. “Here is the selection of your favorite sushi rolls.” Logan smiles slightly.

“Thank you chef, that is very kind of you.” He lets the smell of fish and rice drift into his nose before hearing feedback. Strange, there isn’t anything that would cause that here. He looks into a mirror on the wall and sees the familiar face of Gabriel. He quickly turns his head to face him. “Mind if I join you?”

“Gabriel. What an unexpected pleasure.” He fixes the black glasses on his face. “It’s been..”

“Quite a while, yes.” Gabriel nods slightly, his smile almost creepy in the dim lighting. “Why do you consume that?” He points to the food, almost disgusted. “You’re an angel.”

“It’s sushi.” Logan looks up at Gabriel, letting some of his shock show. “You dip it in soy sauce.” Gabriel just looks more grossed out. Logan sighs, thinking of a more logical way to explain. “It’s what humans do. And if I am going to be living here among them, I’ll need to keep up appearances. Tea?”

“I do not sully the temple of my celestial body with..gross matter.” Logan fixes his glasses again, even though he doesn’t need to. “Of course not.” He finally noticed the grey suit, with a purple tie. “Nice suit.” Gabriel showed it off.

“Yes, I like the clothes. Pity they won’t be around much longer.” Gabriel exaggerates his movements, sighing as Logan sits up, confused. “They won’t?”

“We have reliable information that things..” Gabriel raises his eyebrows in a covert signal. “Are afoot.”

“They are?” Logan was worried, he knew this was coming he just hoped not so soon.

“Yes. My informant suggests that the demon...Darren? Might be involved.” Logan gulps and looks away. “You need to keep him under observation, without, of course, letting him know what you’re doing.”

“I do know, yes. I’ve been on Earth, doing this, since the beginning.”

“So has Darren. It’s a miracle he hasn’t seen you yet.” Gabriel chuckles. “Yes, I know. Miracles are what we do.” Logan groans slightly at the joke. Gabriel walks off as Logan stares at his food, letting his worry finally show.

Arthur Young rolls his eyes as he drives to the nearby hospital, his wife, Diedre Young, has gone into labour a week early. She sweats and shouts. “Are we there yet, Arthur? Four minutes apart.”

“It’s definitely this way, just the roads look all different at night.”

“The nuns said to come in when they were four to five minutes apart.” He grips the steering wheel, slightly annoyed. “It’s just..”

“Oh, do we have any egg and cress sandwiches?” Arthur sighs and points to the back seat as Diedre leans back before shouting in pain again.

An ambulance siren wails past the two as Harreit Dowling and her husband, Thaddeus Dowling, get driven to the hospital, coincidentally the same one as the other pair. Well, I can’t say that Thaddeus was being driven as he was with the president at the time and just there on a small screen. “Honey, breathe. Just breathe.”

“I am breathing goddamn it Tad! Why aren’t you here?!” The screen shakes as a man in a black suit holds it for her to see. “Honey, I am here. I’m just also with the president.” As the president steps into view she hides the immense pain she’s in and smiles, sweat dripping down her forehead. “Hey, Harriet, sorry we had to borrow your husband.” She screams out. “Birth is one of the single most joyous co-experience that 2 human beings can share, and I’m not gonna miss a second of it.”

“Tad, if we could get back to the matter at hand.” Thaddeus looks away.

“I’ll get back to you, honey.” He says, about to hang up.

“You’re meant to be with me, you useless son of a bi-”

“At some point this evening,” The sound of the mother superior speaks to a crowd of nuns. “Mrs. Dowling will arrive. She will, undoubtedly, have secret service agents with her. You are to make sure they see nothing untoward. Sister Theresa and I will deliver the Dowlings child in room four.”

A taller woman, probably Sister Theresa, looks around at the group, smirking. She got the important job. “Once he has been born, we will remove the baby boy from his mother, and give him back our masters child.” She moves small black cutouts of a baby, a mother and a small devil around on a board. “Everything is ready. Tonight it begins.” There’s an air of excitement as everyone mentally prepares for the oncoming events. “Sister Mary Loquacious?” One held up her hand, putting it back down when she was acknowledged. “Yes, uh excuse me, mother superior, I was wondering where the other baby was going to come from?” The other nuns look at her in a mixture of disbelief and annoyance. “Not the American baby. I mean, that’s obvious. It’s just the birds and the bees. But, you know, the um..” Mary raises an eyebrow, meaning the devil child.

“Master Darren is on his way with out dark lord-to-be, Sister Mary. You do not need to know more than that.” Mary nods as the Mother Superior addresses the whole group. “We are Satanic nuns, of the chattering order of Saint Beryl. And tonight is what our order was created for. You all know your assignments.”

The wailing of the ambulance gets closer as they all rush to their positions, all but Mary. “Excuse me, mother superior. I didn’t get a job. Probably an oversight.” It was definitely not an oversight. “Yes, of course. You could make sure there are biscuits, the kind with pink icing. I think we had a tin in the convent larder.” Mary nods and walks off, not fighting the smile growing on her face. The Mother superior sighs and shakes her head slightly as she walks off.

[circlesandsoundwaves]

“We can actually do it.”: Interview with Waterparks

Photo and Interview by Molly Louise Hudelson.

If you’ve been following the pop-punk scene over the past two years, chances are you’re familiar with Waterparks. The Houston-based group recently wrapped a tour with All Time Low, and in addition to a North American headlining tour earlier this year, they’ve also shared the stage with Sleeping With Sirens and Good Charlotte.

I met up with Awsten, Otto, and Geoff for an interview before the first of two Philadelphia shows last month, and it was a fun one. There was a lot of laughter and joking around, but when it comes to the band, they do mean business. Selling out most dates of their first headlining tour taught them that “we can actually do it”; and they’re now “much more confident” heading in to a headlining tour in the UK.  Read on for my interview with Waterparks, where we talked about the tours, their recent experience as Emo Night DJs, and more!

CIRCLES & SOUNDWAVES: For the record, could you each tell me your name, what you play in Waterparks, and a fun fact about yourself?   Awsten Knight: Awsten, I sing in Waterparks, and it's not fun to be in Waterparks. That's my fun fact. Otto Wood: Hi, my name is Otto, I play the drums in Waterparks, and I miss having fun. Geoff Wigington: Hi, my name is Geoff, I play guitar in Waterparks, and I have fun in Waterparks.   C&S: You're on the All Time Low tour right now; you did a tour with Sleeping With Sirens last fall, you've done some touring with Good Charlotte, and then you did your first headliner this spring. I read something from earlier this year where you said that you felt like on support tours, you had training wheels.   AK: Yep.   C&S: And then all of a sudden for a headlining tour, you're pushed out on your own. What did you learn from being on a headlining tour?   AK: That we can actually do it and it's not that scary- kinda like a bike. GW: I definitely love doing a headline tour more than a support tour. AK: The whole training wheels thing, that was because I didn't know what the draw would actually be like in terms of people caring.   C&S: Most of the shows sold out.   AK: Yeah, the majority of them. There was only a couple that didn't. One of them I was so mad- capacity was 600 and it was at like, 584. I was like, "fuck." I was mad. I was like, "Guys, we should maybe buy however many tickets."   C&S: The headliner was incredibly successful- has that affected you at all or given you any confidence going into another support tour like this?   OW: Oh, we're so not grounded anymore! [Awsten and Geoff laugh.]   C&S: What do you mean?   OW: [Laughs.] Our egos are hugely inflated. AK: We all have our own bus now. GW: Yeah, this is actually the first time we've talked to each other in months. AK: You're bringing the gang back together. OW: Yeah. Thank you.   C&S: Well, I feel honored that I can be the one to bring Waterparks all back together.   Last night you played Boston and after the show, DJ-ed Emo Night. [They all laugh.]   AK: Yeah.   C&S: What were your personal guidelines in putting together your setlist?What were your criteria in choosing songs?   AK: Hits. OW: Play all the hits. AK: Just the hits. OW: All the hits. AK: The night before, in the hotel room, I was sitting at my computer, and looped the intro to "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance so it would just start over when the vocals come in. I did the same thing with "Welcome To The Black Parade." I thought it would be really funny but everyone was just really drunk and singing very loud and did not notice. So I just looked at Otto and was like, "It's not working."   C&S: I've never been to an Emo Night but what I've heard is that everyone gets really, really drunk.   GW: Everybody's super drunk the whole time, and if you're not drunk, you're not really gonna have that much fun. OW: I miss having fun.   C&S: I saw on Twitter that you played a TED Talk during Emo Night? [Otto and Geoff burst out laughing.]   AK: Yeah. They cut it short.   C&S: That's very disappointing- Emo Night censorship.   AK: I know. I got through about five minutes of the TED Talk I wanted them to hear.   C&S: What was the TED Talk about?   AK: Oh, it was about getting your life together, so it was a good time for them to hear it. The people that were in charge kept coming up and going like, "Hey, I think you're losing them!"- I was like, "I don't think so." OW: They're like, "Hold on, hold on." AK: "Just give it another minute." And finally they came and played- I don't know, The Used or something.   C&S: Wait, so someone cut off your TED Talk?   AK: Oh yeah, dude- a lot of our stuff kept getting [cut off]. OW: They hijacked our playlist. We had a whole thing set up and I'd say half the set or more wound up being an outside influence- "You should play this now." I was like, "I guess."   C&S: If you had had full control over the playlist, what would it have been?   AK: The thing is, we had to put in a couple staples just so they wouldn't be permanently mad. Duh, you have to play "I Write Sins", duh you have to play "Cute Without the E." We came out to "What If God Was One Of Us?"- with balloons and everything- but it wound up being instrumental so I had to sing it, so that was weird. I was asking a lot of rhetorical questions between lines. OW: And then we rolled right in to "Who Let The Dogs Out?".   C&S: That's a little bit of a switch-up from the typical Emo Night. OW: Right. And then right on in to "I'm A Believer", "Good Girls Go Bad", "Welcome To The Black Parade" intro loop over and over again. We tried to play "Humble"; that didn't work out. We tried to do a TED Talk; that didn't work out. We did "Cute Without The E." AK: That worked out. OW: I think that worked out because that was kind of in line with what everybody was cool with. "I'm Not Okay" intro loop, we were gonna play "How To Save A Life" by The Fray- that didn't work out.   C&S: See, even though The Fray is not an emo band, that song makes me feel emo.    OW: It makes you emote.   C&S: And it's from the right era.   OW: From "How To Save A Life" into "How You Remind Me" from Nickelback. AK: That didn't happen either. OW: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies", "It's My Life"- we got to play some of that Bon Jovi. AK: They cut it off. OW: And then we got to play our song "Easter Egg" for a little bit. AK: We said we were gonna play it that night and everybody was disappointed that we didn't play it during our set. OW: We weren't lying, though. We did play it. AK: And then it got cut off for A Day To Remember- so, sorry.   C&S: You have a tour coming up in the UK, and that's your first headliner in the UK.   AK: And it's sold out!   C&S: How do you feel going in to that knowing it's sold out?   AK: Much more confident. GW: Yeah- it's gonna be really cool. I love the UK a lot. OW: Really good- maybe I'll start to have fun again.   C&S: What would allow you to have fun?   OW: If these guys will let me play bass instead of drums. AK: Nope!   C&S: So that leads in to the video for "Gloom Boys", where you have a potential bassist fighting off all your ex-bassists, Scott Pilgrim-style. The video is what, seven minutes long?   AK: Yeah dude. It was twelve and we were like, "Gotta cut it down." OW: It's a commitment.   C&S: So you weren't going to make a feature length film?   AK: It just didn't seem like the best idea, but... eventually.   C&S: There's a line in that song where you say, "I like happy songs with titles that don't match at all." When I listen to your album Double Dare, that's what I get out of it- it's a super, super catchy, fun record- but then I looked at the lyrics and I was like, "...oh." [Otto laughs.] Some of it's, like, real shit.   AK: Yeah, that's what that means.   C&S: In terms of other music that you're in to, what are some of your favorite happy songs with titles that don't match?   AK: I like a lot of music where it sounds poppy and happy and everything and then you can tell the lyrics and mood of it just don't match. Even if you switch it around and it sounds dark but it's a poppy and happy song- that's cool too. OW: I guess Alkaline Trio's good about that- Crimson, for sure, that record- album. Oh no- I said "record".   C&S: Can we not call an album a "record"?   AK: You can, as long as there's a [vinyl] record. We have a record of [Double Dare].   C&S: Are you big vinyl people?   AK: I go through phases of it- if it's one of my favorite albums or I'm obsessed with the art, I'll get it. But I don't collect to just have as much as possible.   C&S: I imagine it's hard on tour, too- to just physically collect a lot of stuff.   I saw the Digital Tour Bus video that you guys did on Warped Tour last year and there were all these boxes of stuff fans had given you. What is either the weirdest or the best thing a fan has given you?   GW: Somebody gave me a copy of Ocarina of Time 3D for my 3DS- that was super cool cuz I had it before and my system got stolen so I got to replay it. OW: Someone made me a needlepoint- my favorite film is There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day Lewis- and [the needlepoint] looks very innocent, it's a knitting of a milkshake and it's in bubblegum colors and it says "I drink your milkshake" on it- but if you know the context of it, it's very demented. AK: I like when people give me Whole Foods gift cards but as far as a thing that someone's made me, I got this voodoo doll of myself that I like to stroke and massage and give money to before I go to bed.   C&S: That's... genius. That's so cool.   AK: It hasn't worked.    C&S: Well, you can try.   Your album Double Dare came out last November, before that you had the EP Cluster, and then a couple EPs that you released before signing to Equal Vision. Over the years, how has your approach to songwriting changed? When you wrote Airplane Conversations that was before you had even played a show.   AK: Yep. I mean- just better at it. There's home recording involved when there wasn't before so you get to try out ideas and have a lot of options going- as opposed to being like, "Let's see what happens after we pay a bunch of money and this is fleshed out and complete and mixed and sounds good and then we can see if we wanna use it." That's not how it works- so having the freedom to do that just makes for better releases. OW: And you get to actually make things instead of trying to articulate it to someone later.  AK: Exactly- like any weird sounds or electronic stuff or whatever, you can just do it- instead of trying to be like- BRRLRLRRRLLLR- but saying, "make it sound like an icicle."   C&S: You won the Best Breakthrough Band award at the APMAs, you've been touring pretty much nonstop, and you put out an album less than a year ago- it's been a very good year for Waterparks. Where do you see yourselves or where do you hope to be a year from now?   GW: I hope to have at least three more buses.   C&S: Okay. So each of you has a bus, and then each of your personal assistants has a bus?   GW: No, no- one for each of our dogs.   C&S: Each dog has their own bus?   GW: Yeah. AK: I want to be friends with Pharrell. That's all I want to be different.   C&S: How do you respond to haters or any kind of negativity surrounding your band?   AK: No one hates us, we're the best band and- um… um... yeah. GW: That's how you actually do it right there.   C&S: Okay. I dig it. Cool, thank you guys so much- anything else to say? Anything else the internet should know?   AK: Get enough sleep. Stay off the internet. It's good for you.

Thanks Awsten, Otto, and Geoff! Waterparks recently announced a headlining tour for this fall; they’ll be joined by As It Is, Chapel, and Sleep On It. See a full list of shows and keep up with the band on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.