#sorry I'm not that active but I'm pretty much squeezed between work family and writing my fic

[esteljune]

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish gifs [23/?]

Look at the size of this man

[forever-forgotten-angel]

Sometimes when I'm really anxious I like to listen to the little videos Thomas posts occasionally where he thanks us for our support and says he loves us and it calms me so I keep imagining Virgil doing the same thing....what do you think?

How dare youAnon? I have no less than 3 things I need to be writing and you make me write adifferent thing. Honestly though this idea was too cute not to write a littlething for. So I hope you’re happy with yourself Anon, a short fic is under thecut (sorry if you just wanted an answer and I went overboard, I just reallyloved the idea).

Virgil didn’t remember exactly when it hadfirst happened, though it was a while before he was accepted he knew.

It had notbeen a great day for him, and he’d been going through Thomas’ social mediaposts for the day, looking for anything too embarrassing that he should get onthe host about when he saw it. It was a short video, directly addressing hisfans. It was a sweet little video, just talking about how much they meant tohim and how he appreciated their support. And then, at the end…“I love you.”There was a little more to the video after that but Virgil’s mind couldn’tfocus on it. He knew the video was not made for him; Thomas’ didn’t even likehim let alone love him. Not that Virgil blamed the host, he knew he was anasshole, but it was the only way he could get anyone to listen to him. Bymaking himself too intimidating, and scary, and harsh to ignore. Of course, thedownside of that was it got him hated by the people that meant the most to him.

Still, eventhough he knew the video was not intended for him, he couldn’t help saving itand watching again. And again. And again. Because he could pretend. He couldpretend the words of encouragement, support, gratitude, and those three littlewords at the end were for him. And it calmed him and gave him a slightly giddyfeeling inside.

He hatedhimself for it. It was pathetic. That was meant for his fans, people Thomasactually cared about. And he was perverting it. Using it for his own purposes.To make him feel better even as he made Thomas feel awful a good portion of thetime. He hid the file away in his phone, and tried his best not to bring itout.Still, on his really bad days when nothing else helped, he just couldn’tresist.

It had beena good while since he’d had one of those days.

Virgil wasa part of the group, the famILY as Patton would say, now. No longer alone. Nowwhen he had a bad day he could go watch cartoons witch Patton, or work on apuzzle with Logan,or watch Roman act out his favorite scenes from Disney movies, with theprincely trait playing all of the character, his costume changing every thirtyseconds, or even go up and hang out with Thomas. It was something he stillcouldn’t get over.

Still,every once in a while, he had one of those days. When just being around theothers wasn’t enough.

It was oneof the days he hated most of all. When nothing had really gone wrong, nothingbig was coming up, nothing was bad, and yet his anxiety was up and at ‘em. Theguilt always weighed more on him on these days as he remembers mocking Thomasabout his frustration when Virgil was more active than usual for no real reason, all the while knowing he feelsthat same frustration himself at times.

It was abit past noon, he hadn’t felt like being around the others, and was just tryingto make it through the day. He’d debated opening the video for the first timein a while and had finally given into the urge mid-morning. He is listening toit on repeat.

He feelshis stomach growl and sighs. He heads toward the mind palace kitchen, but hehears voices coming from the room and he really doesn’t want to deal right now.So instead he rises up into the real world. Hopefully Thomas won’t mind Vigilstealing some snacks from his fridge.

He takeshis phone up with him, setting it down on the counter as he opens the fridge.He hadn’t been using his headphones as the direct noise into his ears had beentoo much, even on a low volume setting. He finds some fruit in the fridge andsome leftover chocolate cake, not the healthiest option but it looks sogood. He’s making himself up a plate (making sure to leave a little bit of the cakefor Thomas), the video playing for the sixth time since he got up here when avoice sounds from behind him. “Is everything alright Verge?”

He spinsaround, facing his host, not even bothering to hide the blush rising on hischeeks. Thomas isn’t looking at him teasingly though; he’s glancing betweenVirgil and his phone with a look of concern.

Virgilreaches over and pauses the video. Standing a bit awkwardly in the silence fora moment. “It- well…I mean…I’m just having one of those days and it helps…..”He trails off, his fingers fidgeting and turning his phone in his hand. Thomas giveshim a look of understanding and comes further into the room.

“How longhave you had that video for?” The host asks curiously. Virgil shrugs before hespeaks. “A while. I- I know it wasn’t really meant for me-” Thomas cuts himoff. “It was meant for anyone who needed to hear it.” He nods. “Thanks.” Hegives the host a small smile. Thomas smiles back and then gives him anunreadable look. He holds out his hand. Virgil looks at him for a second beforerealizing he wants the phone. Virgil hands it over a bit nervously.

Thomasopens up the camera, sets it to video and hits record, looking into the camerawith a soft smile. “I love you Virgil. I love you so freaking much. You are soimportant to me, and it’s not just because you’re a part of me, it’s because you’reyou. I don’t just need you around, I want you around. I’m sograteful I have you in my life, and that you’re there for me, and that I knowyou’re looking out for me no matter what. I wish we could have been close fromthe beginning, but I’m glad that we have this friendship now. I’m so proud ofyou. You’ve come so far and I know you’re still working hard to keep goingfurther every single day. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for meand for being my friend. I love you Verge.” Thomas stops the recording and goesto hand the phone back to Virgil.

A few tearshad escaped Virgil’s eyes as he’d listened to Thomas record his message. Thomasimmediately startles upon seeing them. “I didn’t mean to upset you, or make youfeel weird or anything…I just thought you might like a more personal message.If it bothers you, or makes you feel awkward I can delete it-” “NO!” Virgil’s‘scary voice’ seeps into his tone as he quickly snatches the phone from Thomas.

He blushesas he realizes what he’s done. We wipes the tears off his face with the handnot holding his phone tightly and looks up at Thomas who is smiling though helooks a bit in shock. “Sorry-just…no, I want the video. I was just a littleoverwhelmed. Thank you.” He gives his host the largest sincere smile he’s beenable to manage all day. “Anytime. And you know, if you ever feel the need tohear it from me directly just let me know, okay?” The blush on Virgil’s cheeksdarkens a bit as he replies a bit shakily. “O-okay.”

Thomasgrins blindingly at him, his eyes fond. “Is touching too much right now or isit okay for me to give you a hug?” Virgil thinks about it for a second, knowingThomas wouldn’t want him to push himself past his limits and wouldn’t takeoffense if he said no. But he feels okay enough for a hug, and maybe it wouldeven help. “I’d like a hug.” He admits; determinedly meeting Thomas’ eyes as hespeaks. 

TheYouTuber’s already large smile grows even larger as he steps forward. He slowlywraps his arms around Virgil, giving the anxious trait plenty of time to pullaway if he changes his mind. After a good minute or two, Thomas’ arms are fullwrapped around him and he takes a minute before he begins to hug his host back.Thomas waits patiently and understandingly, letting Virgil embrace the hug inhis own time.

They standthere in silence for several minutes. Thomas is content to let the hug go on aslong as Virgil needs or wants, and Virgil knows that. He isn’t sure when he’sgoing to want to let go. The hug is a lot for him right now, but so comfortingat the same time. It doesn’t make everything all better, but just like thevideo, it seems to help. Another minute passes in silence before Virgil starts to speak. “Thomas?”Thomas shifts a bit as he goes to respond. “Yeah Verge?” Virgil hesitates for amoment before continuing. “You know I…you know that I…that I feel…I mean I…I…”Virgil begins to grow frustrated with himself. He knows it’s true. He knowsThomas won’t mind it or make fun of him for it. He knows the other deserves tohear it. Yet for some reason, he just can’t get the actual words out. LuckilyThomas seems to understand, and starts to rub circles into his backcomfortingly, edging Virgil’s frustration away. “It’s okay Verge, I alreadyknow. And I’m perfectly fine with waiting to actually hear it. I know you’llsay it when you’re ready.” Virgil relaxes again in Thomas’ arms, squeezing hisincredible host just a bit tighter as the man whispers something more in hisear. “For now it can just be an understood thing.”

I’m pretty sure @organizeddiscord won’t mind me tagging her for this fic, not sure about anyone else.