#sorry but i like pudgy josh LMAO

[laurrrelise]

now who the hell did this bro.

[tylerscatharsis-blog]

A Confession

The following is a short story I wrote. To give a background summary, I will explain the characters and the relationships so we can dive in strong.  Tyler and Josh have been dating for more than a year now; and that year has been full of excitements and joyful pleasures with each second passing. But ever since Josh’s introduction to a mystery figure, things have hit an all time low in their relationship. Tyler feels like the loser in the pair. He feels like he’s the one who has to initiate plans and conversations. The only time Josh pays attention to him is when they’re in bed.  Tyler feels used.  Tyler has realized that they are not what they used to be, and he wants to know why. He wants Josh to speak up... before he has to do the investigating himself.

SCENE 1

“You sure seem interested in that cell phone of yours.” 

Tyler pulled the dining room chair out that was to the left of Josh and slowly seated himself. 

Josh jerked his wrist quickly, aiming the screen away from Tyler’s vision. He fidgeted in his seat and slid the phone in his pocket.

“Just, uh, just doing some studying.” Josh smiled nervously and pulled at a loose string in his shirt. He then fixed himself and tried to cover it up by looking casual. “What’s up baby? Why so tense?” 

Tyler cleared his throat, in an annoyed tone. “Oh, just checking on you. I just find it strange that you haven’t talked to me at all today. At all.” Tyler paused and looked down. “Not to sound clingy or anything. It’s just a normal thing to say ‘hello’ or ‘i love you’ to your partner you live with.”  Tyler folded his hands and placed them on the table. 

Josh nodded. “Touché.” 

“A good point it is indeed,” Tyler added. 

The silence that followed was awkward. Tyler didn’t look at Josh the way he did before. He still loved him but he loved him in a sad way. He wished that he could trust Josh but deep down he knew something was up. Josh would disappear for long periods of time to go see “family”. The thing Josh failed to remember is that he told Tyler that all of Josh family lives out of state. Finding faults in Josh’s stories wasn’t difficult at all. This was the same situation when it came to the mystery figure that Tyler assumed Josh has been seeing. There was absolutely no way that the underwear found in Josh’s car was his or Tyler’s. Why? 

It was a thong.

Tyler also knows Josh is bisexual. So he put two and two together and easily got a conclusion. But obviously, he couldn’t jump the gun just yet. He knew he had to get a confession or a word from Josh. If not from Josh, he’d have to do the dirty work himself. Either way, Josh was in for lots of drama and shit storms.

Tyler cleared his throat again to evaporate the awkward silence.

“Listen, Josh. I know somethings up.”

Josh looked up from his zoned out stare at the ground and blinked. “What? What do you mean?” He gulped hard.

“Are you seeing someone else? Josh be honest.” Tyler leaned forward in his chair and tried not to cry. He feared Josh’s response.

Josh looked around and rubbed his neck. “No, Tyler, I am not. I would never want to hurt you like that.” 

For a second Tyler believed him. But then he remembered to keep at it. It hurt because he knew Josh was lying. He could tell by Josh’s shocked face and close-to-tears eyes. It hurt Tyler so much that Josh would lie to him like this, without a care of how Tyler felt inside.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Tyler croaked, a lump forming in his throat. He could feel the pudgy parts of his cheeks warming up and turning red. “I loved you so much.” His voice cracked and his voice got higher as tears began to draw to his eyes. 

“We, you and I, we were something special and I loved it so much, I just-” Tyler stopped and exhaled deeply. The tears were streaming down his face and he was burying himself in his gray tee shirt. 

Shocked and confused, Josh didn’t know what to say. “I- uh, I um... I’m so sorry Tyler.” Josh’s heart was pounding as he watched his sad lover release emotion into his clothing. The drips flowed down his neck and that is when Josh realized what a horrible thing he had done.

“I am so sorry, Tyler, so incredibly sorry. I messed up. I screwed up big time. God! Baby... You don’t deserve this... I should have never... ugh...” Josh pounded his fist on the wood table before them and began to cry. Seeing Tyler so upset angered him, because he knew it was his fault.  “I’m so sorry, Tyler! You are an amazing person and you don’t deserve someone so awful and disloyal like me... Please forgive me.” Josh stared at Tyler’s timid form, hiding himself in his shirt out of distress. Josh loved how beautiful he looked there. 

And that’s when the regret pounded down on Josh like rain.

He chose to break the heart of someone he loved for someone he just met at work. He put Tyler’s love on the line just for sex with a girl he hardly knew. He never realized it but Tyler was more important to him than that girl, and he would choose Tyler over her in a heartbeat. But of course these realizations come after the incident. He can’t turn back time. He can’t reverse the curse. He’s stuck with a distraught Tyler and a relationship in his hands. What would he do?

He decided he would try to regain trust in Tyler by confessing full out. No strings attached, the honest truth.

“Tyler, you probably hate me as of now, but I want to say something. You have the right to know what happened. The whole truth, a confession.” 

Tyler slowed his breathing and wiped his face on his shirt one last time. He still kept his head down, but he accepted Josh’s approach. “Ok.”

Josh winced and swallowed his nervous salivation. “I met this girl named Christiana at work. I only knew her for a couple of days and... she tempted me. Inside, beneath my layers, I knew it was wrong. But I still went through with it. She hooked me. I fell in love, stupidly and foolishly. I regret it, so fucking much, ugh.. We, er, had sex in my car. I’m sorry. I was so blinded by her fishbait and I couldn’t find the courage to let her go. To prove how dumb I am, it wasn’t until now that I really acknowledged how wrong my actions were. I was texting the goddamn bitch when you walked in here! For fucks sake, I’m so embarrassed. I want you to be happy. I can’t give you that happiness cause I’m a prick, a bloody cheater.” He then put his face in his palms and cried. Loudly.

Tyler was filled with a downpour of different emotions. He hated almost everything at that moment. He hated how cute Josh looked when he cried, even though he knew he couldn’t love Josh ever again. He hated Christiana, and he also wondered if Christiana knew that Josh was already in a relationship. But then again, what if Christiana wasn’t informed of Tyler? What if Josh claimed to be single? That’s something Josh would do, obviously. Tyler immediately forgave Christiana in his mind.

But what about Josh?

Do you forgive someone for this? Do you get angry at them? He remembers scenes from movies where the girlfriend would slap the boyfriend and storm off. Tyler wouldn’t do that.

So what would he do? 

“Okay, Josh. I need some time to think about this. Just let me sleep on it and, maybe I can figure something out. Okay?” 

Josh nodded and mouthed the words I’m sorry once more. Tyler stood up and pushed the chair back in it’s place. 

“Nice talk... See ya.” And with that, Tyler walked away. 

((Okay I have a question: How did I do? I’m not that good at this so, eh. Just leave some feedback and tell me: A. If I should continue

B. Suggestions

C. If tyler should forgive Josh

D. etc. lmao 

Okay thanks : ) <3 ))