#sorry i’m genuinely so achey about this storyline this rewatch is hitting HARD

[shitouttabuck]

it doesn't seem like it but man do I wish something happens and buck gets the baby lol the "he's perfect" scene absolutely broke my heart

okay i think my opinion differs pretty wildly i wouldn’t want buck to get the baby in Any context like whether or not something happened to the baby’s parents i am absolutely certain he wouldn’t go to buck, but also i wouldn’t WANT the baby to because, and you’re right, the “he’s perfect” scene is heartbreaking in ways i can’t even articulate—i have like three different posts in my drafts over the last year trying to put to words the ache in the way he looks at the baby and has to look away, because yeah, he’s perfect, but he’s not buck’s, and would never be buck’s, because he was never meant for buck at all.

i think that’s a large part of the heartbreak for buck too, knowing he’s capable of creating a family of his own, but still not having it. he’s perfect, and buck made him, but he’s not buck’s and won’t ever be buck’s. that’s the part that kills me the most, the callback to buck being only as wanted as his body is useful. which is untrue, obviously, as his actual family works so hard to remind him of, but. the sperm donor arc just kind of brings that shit up for me (it’s the same episode he pulls that bicycle car chase shit - again with the falling back on bad habits of seeing his body as a tool) and just makes me. so so so sad.

im really really really hoping the buck & chris scenes in season 7 just further cement that he has this kind of family already, he exists as a parent already, he’s just built it in a different way than he ever thought he was going to