#sorry there may also be at some point a reference to “the treachery of images”

[blondiest]

i know in my heart shit is going south when i have like 10 tabs open on surrealism and imagism for this WIP

[365days365movies]

March 21, 2021: Orlando (1992)

Tilda Swinton...confuses me.

Like, in a good way. Because Tilda may be the most versatile actor working today. I mean, look at the goddamn filmography, and you’ll see what I’ve mean. I’ve seen Tilda Swinton in a lot, surprisingly, and I don’t think anything I’ve seen was bad. For example, I am an ARDENT defender in the portrayal of the Ancient One in the MCU.

I understand the controversy here, but I actually think this is excellent casting. Especially considering...being comic book-accurate would NOT have been a good idea with this role, if we’re trying to AVOID controversy. But Tilda Swinton FUCKING KILLED IT in this role, and I will always be happy for this choice.

Let’s see, there’s Jadis in the Narnia films, as shown at the top, there’s Snowpiercer, as Mason (an amazing character, and an acting job that Swinton disappears into), Moonrise Kingdom as Social Services, The Grand Budapest Hotel as Madame D., and Gabriel in Constantine. Which is a good segue to the next talking point...

Gabriel is pointedly androgynous, and honestly, Tilda Swinton kind of is as well. You may have noticed that I haven’t used any pronouns in referencing to Tilda Swinton, entirely out of respect. Gonna be a little hard to keep up with, so I’ll be using she/her from here on out, only because those are the pronouns that Swinton’s most recently promoted for herself. She’s also referred to herself as queer of some variety, as well as being famously gender non-conforming.

Which is fitting, given that a lot of that public image began with today’s movie, one of her first big roles. I’ll be revisiting Swinton in the independent movie scene in a couple of months, but this may be a good introduction. Instead of spoiling anything off the bat, I’m gonna jump right in. And so, I present: Orlando. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin with a young man named, well, Orlando (Tilda Swinton), a young man with a feminine appearance and a good upbringing. His name means power land and property, but all he really wants is company. He writes and rests by a tree in the day, but falls asleep by mistake. When he wakes up, he runs back to where he’s meant to be, with a tribute to Queen Elizabeth I (Quentin Crisp) playing in the background. And that’s a REAL song, by the way, actually sung in the 1600s for Elizabeth! Very neat.

A title screen flashes, reading “1600: Death”, and we see where Orlando is meant to be. He speaks poetry for the Queen and her court, but is interrupted by the aged queen, who asks whether or not his poem is appropriate for her presence, as the poem is about youth, and Queen Elizabeth is not that. Orlando’s father (John Bott), who is serving as host to Elizabeth, intervenes on his behalf. However, it doesn’t seem to matter to the Queen, as she invites Orlando back to England to serve as her “favourite”. He accepts, and soon lives alongside the Queen. She quickly promises Orlando much land and property, for him and his heirs, but on one condition: that he does not fade, wither, or grow old. 

The same wish cannot be applied to Elizabeth herself, nor to his father, as both grow old and die soon afterwards. Fast forward 10 years, and it’s a cold winter in England. Visiting Orlando’s vast estate is a woman from Russia, named Sasha (Charlotte Valandrey), and Orlando quickly falls for her. This is to the dismay of Euphrosne (Anna Healy), his fiancée? I’m not sure, to be honest, but they’re definitely involved, and she’s definitely upset.

However, this is also a scandal for everybody else as well, not just because Orlando’s already engaged, but also because Sasha is Russian, during a particularly poor economic period for the country. Euphrosne angrily throws his ring back at him, and Orlando speaks directly to the audience, telling us that a man must follow his heart. The two go to his private cottage, and they start to make out, when Orlando suddenly comes down with intense melancholy.

Because this is such great happiness that he feels, but this happiness too will one day end. Which is, like, the most emo-shit I’ve ever heard, but I’m kinda here for it. And yet, that happiness does indeed end, when Sasha is forced to return to Russia, despite Orlando’s pleading for her to stay. He asks her to meet him at London Bridge, so that they may elope together.

Later, Orlando happens upon a performance of Othello, noting to us that it’s a terrific play. This is as the death of Othello is being played out, so that’s probably foreshadowing, right? Anyway, Orlando leads two horses through the thick fog, waiting for Sasha to arrive and come away with him. But as a storm sets in, there is no sign of Sasha. And Orlando stands there in the rain. Said rain, though, soon becomes ice, underneath his feet, floating away down the river, along with his hopes of a happy future with Sasha. The treachery of women, according to Orlando.

Over the next week, Orlando languishes in his bed, asleep for the entire time. Increasingly more servants are brought up to try and rouse him, only for him to remain asleep, no matter what they do. But then, he wakes up, noting that he can only conjure three words to describe women, none of them worth explaining.

Forty years later, and the title screen cries “Poetry”! And Orlando looks exactly the same. Guess he really took that whole “don’t grow old” thing from Elizabeth to heart, huh? He speaks to a poet, Nick Greene (Heathcote Williams), and gushes about his poetry, which is a pursuit that he loves greatly. But Nick is...well, Nick is kind of a dick, to be honest. Orlando wants only to share his love and his poetry with him, but Nick’s only in it for the money. Not a true artist, and he mocks Orlando’s poetry, which he reads only after Orlando offers him money. And then, he writes a poem mocking Orlando further, which angers Orlando...but doesn’t stop the money flowing to Nick.

Orlando moves onto his next pursuit, in 1700, in the next section: Politics. Now over 100 years old, Orlando becomes an ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, and travels to Constantinople. There, he receives a somewhat rough and awkward greeting, which Orlando is not helping with. They share some Turkish coffee, Orlando has trouble drinking that Turkish coffee, they drink a LOT of Turkish coffee, and they toast to multiple things, including the “beauty of women, and the joys of love.” Orlando pauses at this, and reveals that he is still suffering quite a bit of heartbreak. His Turkish friend, the Khan (Lothaire Bluteau), bonds with him about this.

After 10 years, Orlando has fully retreated into life as a Turkish man. This is interrupted by a British emissary, sent to bring him news of a new appointment and power from the Queen. However, something goes wrong when the Khan arrives and takes Orlando hostage. The city is under attack, and the Khan asks Orlando if he will help against their enemies. Orlando agrees, and gives them arms, and heads to help himself at the walls. There, he witnesses a man dying, and it shakes him greatly. And just like before, he sleeps it off for seven days. And then...she wakes up.

YUP. WHAT.

Yeah, um, Orlando is now a woman. Like she says: “Same person, just a different sex.” Which is a very interesting premise, not gonna lie. Looks like Orlando now has to live life as a woman, which is going to be...difficult in 1700s Turkey. Or England. Or anywhere. Or any time.

Still, Orlando approaches this new life with aplomb, and without really any needed caution. Parading in some awesome dresses, she greets fellow nobility as the lady Orlando. However, the emissary from earlier, Archduke Harry (John Wood), begins to recognize her as similar to the lord Orlando.

In speaking with a group of poets, however, Orlando learns EXACTLY what men think of women in this society, and it’s not even a little bit good. She leaves, enraged and embarrassed. Harry also speaks with her, assuming that she was a woman all along. However, Orlando’s in EVEN MORE shit, as she’s quickly served with papers that are an attempt to take away all of her property and titles, because Lord Orlando is legally dead, and Lady Orlando is a woman, which one of them says is basically the same thing. FUCKIN’ YIKES, BRUV.

Ah, but Harry tries to help by proposing to her ON THE FUCKIN’ SPOT. He believed that Orlando was perfect as both genders, and is happy to do it. However, Orlando understandably refuses, and after Harry tells her that she will die as a spinster, alone and dispossessed, she runs into a nearby hedge maze. And while in the hedge maze, time passes, and her outfit changes to match the period accordingly.

Forward 140 years now! The year is 1850, and a new chapter begins: Sex.

And as she runs from the maze, she runs into who else...but Shelmerdine (Billy Zane), a man who...Shelmerdine? SHELMERDINE? What fuckin’ witch cursed his entirely family line to have THAT name? That’s the kind of family that was named AFTER a bridge, not the other way around! WHAT KINDA NAME IS FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE?

Well, I’ve looked it up now, and it is apparently a real name. So, if any Shelmerdines are reading this...I mean, I’m sorry, but also, FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE? OK, back to Shelmerdine. He’s twisted his ankle falling off his horse, and Orlando is now taking care of him. She reveals, in the process, that she’s about to lose everything. The reasons for that aren’t quite said, but Shelmerdine offers a place at his side, back to the great free land of America.

After having a conversation about the roles of men and women in the world (which is interesting given the context of the film in general), the two fulfill the chapter’s imperative. And we never see the act, but we do get some interesting angles and hand-holding. But the next morning, this post-coital reverie is interrupted by the lawyers from the Queen. The lawsuits have been settled, and Orlando has been legally declared a woman, meaning that unless she has a son, all of her possessions will be lost.

Shelmerdine (I swear, every time I say that name, a fairy gets chlamydia) leaves as well, with the southwest wind. As he heads back to America to fight for freedom, Orlando stands in the rain, facing an uncertain future, and broken fully by the politics of the time period.

And then...the sound of planes overhead. Looks like a new time period once again, heading into the periods of World Wars, and Orlando is now...heavily pregnant. OH. FUCK. Welcome to the next chapter: Birth.

We jump past the period of World War II, and to the 1990s! Orlando is presenting a book to a publisher, and he believes that the book will sell. With her young daughter in tow, she finally goes back to her old mansion, now finally able to go back after losing it 100 years prior. The narration from the beginning repeats, recontextualized for Orlando’s new life. She is over 400 years old, and finally, FINALLY...she is happy.

And that’s Orlando! I think I loved it. Real talk, this was a fascinating movie, and I’m into it. I’m very much into it. I’m sure there’s more to be gleaned from this film, but I’m glad I watched it regardless. More in the Review, though! See you there!

[human-enthusiast]

One Piece “isms” - #1

--Episode 2/ Chapters 3 + 4

Theme: Abusive Authority

Details: When Luffy and Coby dock in a town named Shells Town, they quickly learn about their troubles with authority. The mention of Roronoa Zoro and Marine Captain Morgan’s name expels fear in the citizens for some similar reasons. Later, after meeting the Pirate Hunter tied to a post, they learn about Morgan’s tyrant ruling over people. Specifically, those that openly defy his rules and authority, treating them like inhumane scum.

Characteristics:

1. Authoritarian Leadership - (Dictatorship quality)

2. Inferiority (Superiority) Complex

3. Obsession with “treacheries”, insubordination, or lack of power over even small matters.

4. Alignment: Lawful Evil

5. Unfair imprisonment - Zoro and the existence of a Crucifixion Yard.

Very early on in the series, we have, what I would describe as a mild introduction to certain conflicts the protagonists face. Now whether or not you ever watch movies or read books centered around pirates, it’s common sense to know they are enemies to the world’s government(s).

It’s not to say pirates don’t have their own form of government or authority -- any society or civilization has one that was structured around those who first joined-- but they separated themselves from the one governed by kings/queens/emperors/ or anyone who governs with written or traditional laws.

So, if being introduced to a character, who begins his journey as a pirate, we would expect his enemy to be the Marines right off the bat.

Not so unusual. Luffy has shown to have a gray morality or chaotic neutral personality, but this isn’t well defined until way later on. He does what he wants, with a mindset that says ‘consequences be damned’. That is pretty much his motto at this point. That being said, the opposite to what Luffy’s side of the story represents would be lawful and justice.

Captain Morgan is actually the first official Marine we see in the series. By that, I mean he’s the first one actually named and given a personality to judge on. Though technically, Helmeppo would be the first to be seen, but it’s his father whose been alluded to since they arrived. Right off the bat, they both show case the worst possible outcome of authorities: power trips, abusing the system, respect is demanded, and rules are absolute.

Both the anime and manga illustrate Morgan’s delusions of control and megalomaniac personality quite well, and how Helmeppo thrives in it by hand-me-down powers.

Something to note, I just started reading the manga, but I have watched the anime for a few years now (English dub), and I’m now just starting the Dressrosa arc. While the anime is good (not perfect) at adapting from the manga, there are more intriguing details to me that do better in narrating the story (at least with the first few chapters).

Here the manga shows tax exploitations:

Some are fairly easy to miss, but the walls and metal gate show signs of poor treatment, or degradation. The anime does something similar with the gate, having more advantage with coloring:

The door used to have what I believe was a darker green color. But now it’s rusted fairly much, even a little on the hinges, and the paint for the symbols looks a little faded. Now, this may just be a way to give texture to surfaces, which is initially true and what I thought when I first watched/read the series. However, the kicker we learn is a little ways after.

It’s explained that the people are under heavy taxation to the point that it depletes a living wage for everyone. Morgan refers to the people as peasants, so he’s clearly aware of their indigent state. It would explain a little about the state of everything and how he could’ve paid for the erected statue of himself.

The red-circled speech bubbles are especially important, and I think highlight Morgan’s character. It’s my favorite detail with him. I’m not saying I like the character all around; if I ever meet someone like this, I’d probably pull a Luffy and straight take a swing at their throat/junk (although I tend to think of the consequences, so I’d more likely take a legal/other direct action if need be).

No, it’s just...characters with this kind of mindset are fun to observe and explain.

There’s another character that is like a mirror image from this Marine: Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Both are high ranking members of their society, wealthy, completely power hungry, apathetic, and fear inducing to their subjects. There are plenty of complications with Azula, but it definitely shows in her first introduction and later on in Season 3 when she has a psychological break down.

Direct conversation from Season 2 Episode 1:

[Ship Captain]: “Princess, I’m afraid the tides will not allow us to bring the ship into port before nightfall.”

[Azula]: “I’m sorry, captain, but I do not know much about the tides. Can you explain something to me?”

[Captain]: “Of course, your highness.”

[Azula]: “Do the tides command this ship?”

[Captain]: “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

[Azula]: “You said the tides would not allow us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship?”

[Captain]: “No, princess.”

[Azula]: “And if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore?”

[Captain]: “No, princess.”

[Azula]: “Well, then maybe you should worry less about the tides, who have already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who’s still mulling it over.”

I included the exchange between her, the bat-shit crazy royal, and the captain, who has better acknowledgement of the forces of nature, because it’s fairly similar to the exchange between Morgan and the marine he’s talking to about the people’s wealth. The marine and captain regard their authority’s title, and probably have similar worries over their inability to reason maturely.

Any good villain can be vindictive, selfish, and have no regard for others (a lack of empathy), but the one underlining similarity is their negligence with reality. And in order to get like that, there is a deep obsession with control.

Azula wants to disregard nature, specifically ocean tides, rather than change her course and plan. This is a frightening aspect because of her complete ignorance on the mod of reality. She wants to maintain control of her ship, and she is very much willing to sacrifice the safety of others just to feel superior.

While Morgan also wants to keep an iron fist over the citizens. He has this more monetary greed, spending it more in lavish purposes for him and his son. He’s a little more aware of the fact that the people don’t have much money, but to him, it’s no excuse to pay the taxes in full. There’s absolutely no regard for other matters in reality, that including personal finance.

The obstacles or personal matters of those “below” him fly over his head. Because what he believes to be a level of respect is absolute obedience. I almost have no doubt that if Luffy and Coby never made it to Shells Town, it may undergone an actual dictatorship like life. When the people have seemingly ran out of money, an alternative subjection-- or showcase of loyalty--probably would have been enslavement and unpaid labor. Assuming that the money Morgan and Helmeppo spend remains on the island at a high fixation.

Maybe that’s too extreme and would also have economic downfall on the Marines as well, but I wouldn’t put it pass Morgan to come up with anymore extreme ideas.

One other similarity with Azula and Morgan is the insane notion of loyalty. This mental state is compromised more with Azula during the final episodes. At that point, she is given the responsibility of being Fire Lord, and with it, comes absolute hysterics and paranoia about maintaining control over everyone. The slightest missteps from her servants enacts a banishment for them, leaving less people to remain under her control. This may have also been a product of Mei and Ty Lee’s betrayal in the Boiling Rock Part 2 episode, completely warping her sense of trust.

There isn’t much known about Morgan before he was head of the Marine Base that is explanatory of his own behavior, but he has the same obsession over the concept of loyalty and traitors. Whether the actions are from citizens or his own subordinates, there is no excuse for anyone to disobey him. Hell, he found it perfectly acceptable to kill a marine who accidently bumped a part of his statue, that probably didn’t do anything minor to it.

That being said, he has no room to let anyone ignore his orders. When the Lieutenant was ordered to kill Rika because she helped Zoro while tied up, he refused. In response, Morgan went for the kill (he’s very much alive in the anime).

He and Helmeppo also show case this behavior in ways that are actually more foreshadowing for later arcs.

In the manga:

The citizens are bowing as the brat saunters by all high and mighty. This is the earliest render of how Celestial Dragons are introduced. While maybe this isn’t necessarily required for the Marine official, it’s more of a by-product on fear-induced situations. A psychological reaction if anything.

The other foreshadowing is the distinction of what the Marines and the World Government consider justice. What is right to them means following the laws-- obedience and purity are absolute. That’s a whole other topic in of itself. But it sets up the fight that Luffy finds himself in with the Marine. Morgan thinks he’s wrong and worthless, fighting on the grounds while yelling “I am Marine Captain “Ax-Hand” Morgan!”

Names carry power. Titles govern rank and superiority. Morgan believes this should be enough to make Luffy crumble over. It’s not. This is a revelation that goes beyond what someone holds in status. And thus, making Morgan a rather incompetent leader.

It’s also rather ironic how, with their battle, it’s very black and white in terms of morality, and the side that views what’s right is on the ‘wrong’ side (pirates). Pirates aren’t lawfully good, or very empathetic. That’s usually not their objective during the Pirate Era. However, if a group of pirates fight against a base leader, and as a result, creates a more balanced, sustainable life for the citizens in the end, there is something drastically wrong with the authority system.

Morgan really sets up as one of the first Marine antagonists, and it’s done using underlining characteristics of higher powers in more tame situations. What one fight could fix within an hour or two, would take more or less years to handle further along in the Grand Line. What One Piece offers is a focus with a type of matter that resurfaces again with different opponents.

~*~*~*~*~*

[aggresivelyfriendly]

~Who Names The Colors~

Chapter 9-This Is Not A Pipe (The Treachery of Images)

Hello my lovelies!!! Is everybody sending up good vibes that we get another amazing outfit and bounce in Hotlanta? I know I am! Give it to us Good Harry, we want it all night!

This fic has an age gap, she’s over 40, he’s just over 20. If you do not like this, I’m not offended. If you are intrigued, and like art, or UST, or juicy plotlines of deep POV-read on!

I could not do this, especially not as well(lmao), without my babes @nocontrolforlouis, @bleedinglove4h, and @dirtystyles-who is wonder at the banners that so beautifully adorn each chapter!

“Where are you?” Jo texted Ethan again.

“Mom, it’s handled, get ready.” She got an unreasonable 15 minutes later while she paced her bathroom and checked on what Zoe might be destroying several times. She had convinced herself that this was a very important situation and Ethan had said he was coming home. Audrey was busy and it’s not one of Colin’s appointed visitation times, so she knew not to ask him. Plus, after that comment about her ass in her yoga pants over two weeks ago, Jo had no interest in inviting him into her life, let alone her dating life.

Jo needed someone she could trust because Zoe was a threenager if she ever saw one.

 That little girl was full of opinions she couldn’t quite express and that huge influx of hormones she was getting about now, that Jo had heard was unmet in females again until puberty, made her full of feelings. Zoe insisted on expressing all of them loudly. She was a handful right now, even for Jo. Ethan may have had days like this, but the blur of parenting in her chaotic early 20’s had dulled the memory. Or, thankfully, her challenging child came when she was more prepared for her. In any case, her pint sized wonder had an attitude to outmatch a cast member on Made in Chelsea and was just as unreasonable.

Zoe also needed constant supervision at the moment. Jo was currently in the practice of knowing where she was in their house at all times and what weapons of minor destruction were at her disposal too. This had been brewing for some time, but it had become necessary for a normal sense of peace of mind starting about a week ago.

Jo had been working on grading her 2nd year technique submissions while watching her Sunday roast and decidedly not thinking about the shape of Harry’s lips or ass or how he had surpassed her in his technique and innovation as an artist and how she admired him, when she realized that she didn’t really know where her three year old was in the house at the moment. More worryingly, she had not heard a high pitched peep, let alone a squeal in too long. Jo dropped the iPad she had collected her submission’s on, including the piece Harry had sent after their frustrating meeting the other day, the one she mentally referred to as “Jo in the moon” and made her way to the play area. It was empty of life though the trail of destruction was clear. Jo cleared up five toys, as she tried to do in every room Zoe had wrecked, before checking her bedroom, again bereft, and the bathroom, also clear. 

She heard a chatter in her own bathroom then and wanted to freeze. The other day she had found that Zoe had billy goat-ed her way on to the counter from the toilet back and had crossed to the medicine cabinet where Jo safely kept her razor, or so She thought. This time the razor was not the problem. Instead, Zoe had found her way to the medicine cabinet and other trouble. In an effort to make herself feel better about being a woman in charge of her own destiny who made choices that were best for her, even if not what she wanted, Jo had recently sprung for the Ruby Woo Lippy instead of the Rimmel #1 she usually purchased.

So, of course, Zoe had found it and painted herself with it. The red stick had gone a long way, Jo imagined she could have had it for years, because there was enough of it to cover Zoe from her knees to her collarbones and beyond, including cold straight horizontal lines for eyebrows like she was Anger in Inside Out. Her daughter had taken one look from her place on the ruined bath mat, seen Jo’s incensed face, a less animated personification of anger and tried to run to hug off her mum’s rage. Jo, like any good mother in her best work clothes, stiff armed her like an American football player, and stripped herself before depositing a crying and sorry Zoe into a bath.

Jo had immediately called her friend Cidra with a glass of wine in hand. She could see her daughter was safe, but was far enough away to just watch. Jo needed to find the funny in the situation, as soon as possible, and Cidra would help. Because it was funny, Jo knew, even when it was your lipstick and your bath mat and your child. Cidra had laughed her ass off for minutes and convinced Jo to take pictures of the remnants of the waxy red dye all over Zoe. She had also declared that Jo desperately needed a night out, and “some dick to wind you down, god you are wound up tighter than my mother in law’s arsehole.” This and the 10 minutes since disaster had Jo laughing to.

It remained funny when Zoe’s chest and especially her eyebrows where red for better than a week.

For all these reasons, Jo wanted a trustworthy babysitter to watch her baby while she went on this blind date.

Jo had a date. She’d finally let Cidra do her work.

Her first since Colin had charmed his way into her diary, then heart, then bed. She was fairly certain that order was important. Had the sex come before the feelings, she may have taken a pass. And then it would only be awkward when they ran into each other at university functions, not Tuesdays and every other weekend.

So, this date. Jo was trying her best to be excited. But, her motives were totally suspect. She was going out with William, Or Wills, as Cidra called him, because she needed to meet a man more of an adequate age. Somebody that checked the same bracket as her on those bloody questionnaire’s one filled out too often. Not because she wanted to necessarily. The dinner would be fine, especially if he paid. But she might be at the age where the free-ish meal was not worth it.

To make any of this wishful dating work, she needed a trustworthy babysitter though. And luckily, her boy was supposed to be home. But he was very late. Jo was just about to go see what Zoe was into, when her toddler ran into her bathroom with her tiny collectibles in her right fist, and the bunny Harry had sent to her for Easter with Ethan in the other. Zoe’s name was embroidered on the ear. Jo smiled and then bit her lip. She would not be endeared by that man. That boy, she mentally reminded herself, because he was sooo young. And even though he acted like more of a man than the supposed one she had exchanged wedding vows with, especially the last time she had seen him, he was still too young. Point blank and period.

Well, not the last time she had seen him. Several days ago, a few hours before she had finally texted Cidra to take her up on the great guy she had for her, Jo had seen Harry on campus. And he had been a sight. His hair was a little ramshackle, could use a wash, as it was speckled with paint and not a little greasy, still she wanted to touch it. He was also wearing the craziest flower button down, it was a Hawaiian shirt, but more vivid, and his ripped knee skinny jeans and Chelsea boots. His outfit was eye catching, but the thing that Jo could not look away from was his company at the school coffee shop. He sat with a sweet faced blonde of his own age who looked quite smitten. Jo felt like an interloper when she found a small alcove to stand in to watch them. Harry had gotten up to grab their coffees and she got tender and catty when she saw the girl bite her lip and watch him walk to the counter. Then giggle.

Was he on a date? It looked like a date. The part that bothered her the most was that she was decidedly bothered. Harry should be on a date with a girl from school, he should be smiling like he was when he gently brought her coffee back to her, and of course the blonde was smiling and a little shy. Because this was still a new arena to both of them, unlike Jo, who had definitely dated, was now divorced and jaded.

Not so jaded that she stopped herself from calling Cidra. Or from wearing the daring trouser boot combination. The slim fitting trousers were new, but the over the knee boots were an impulse buy on the internet when she was sad about turning 41. It had been over a year and they had never made it onto her body. The blousy white wrap top felt silky against her skin and the bralette was her own sexy secret. Because she needed a confidence boost going into this thing. And, well, she frankly usually forewent underpants, so lingerie had to be special to be worn much at all. Though she did see the necessity of a bra. Especially when Ethan hit 12 and told her she was to wear one at all times. She did have a boy, it made sense. She made a face at that memory while she kept getting ready, the sound of her curling iron ticking on and on until it hit temperature ringing in her ear. Her hair felt smooth and wrapped around the barrel lightly while she prepared herself and tried to look at her progress across her head, not her bitten lip or furrowed brow. Jo put her hair up in to a full ponytail with swooping side pieces, smoked out her eye a little and threw on a nude Lippy.

It would do, she decided while looking in the mirror. Now she just needed her son, who had once again answered a text with his own version of chill mom. Zoe was playing at her feet now too, she’d snuck in silently and Jo almost stepped on her little hand. That child was way to stealthy. Either Jo was in her head worse that she thought, or she was going to be in even bigger trouble when that kid decided to be sneaky on purpose.

She made her way to the fridge to have some water to calm herself down and thought she heard a knock at the back door. That was curious, the only person who knocked was, “Harry?” She gaped at him when she got the door. He looked good, if out of place, with his hair down around his shoulders and an old Rolling Stones tee and his signature jeans. Dammit, this was gonna be awkward. Ethan had better be right behind him. “What’re you doing here?”

Harry looked her up and down and narrowed his brow. “Ethan got a date he’s been hoping for, said you needed a hand. And I said I’d lend it. I figured that Colin skipped out on you. Then thought maybe we could paint a little.” He looked her over and her skin heralded his eyes progress by getting all excited, the hair follicles standing at attention wherever his eyes landed. “But, you don’t look like you have university business.”

Jo felt miffed for a minute, there was nothing wrong with her outfit. She supposed it was inappropriate for school stuff, but it fit well and she liked it.

Harry smirked then, “oh! I know where you are off to-Girl’s night??” His smiled hopefully and she didn’t return it. His face fell a little then and his wide eyes looked so hopeful that she almost lied to him. Almost.

“Um, that sounds like more fun, but, no, I, well” spit it out she thought, he’s not your boyfriend, you only kissed the once, and he went out too. “I was set up by a friend.”

His face truly fell then, and his lips thinned into a line, like the one they had crossed. “Like a date.” It wasn’t a question.

Jo guiltily nodded and was ready to shove her fist in her mouth when Harry looked at his booted feet then gave her a false grin and changed the subject, “where’s my girl then?”

“Um, she was in my bathroom. Let me get her. I didn’t really write out any instructions, cuz I thought Ethan was watching her.” And he should know how to take care of her, he was a grown man.

“That’s alright, Miss Jo. I got her.” His back was to her, and he sounded tired, then he seemed to realize he shouldn’t be going into her bedroom and the doorbell rang. Did jo send Harry to the door, where her date he seemed to be bothered by was-or to her messy bathroom where she was sure there was a bra or two on the floor?

“Would you mind answering the door, and I’ll go make sure Zoe hasn’t painted herself with lipstick, again.” Oh that drew the dimples. “I’ll show you the picture I took so it could be funny, as opposed to rage inducing.”

“Please.” He nodded politely and Jo hated it.

Zoe was playing in her make up, but luckily it was the brushes, she looked a little messy, but cute.

“Guess who’s here bub?” She asked with extra enthusiasm.

“Tan!” Dammit-Jo had told her to soon. She’d have to ask Harry if her son was coming home after his hot date. She wanted to be pissed about him sending Harry and making it awkward, but she couldn’t. How was Ethan to know that she and his best mate were doing a tango around each other?

“Not Tan, bub! Hopefully soon, but today you get to hang out with Harry.” Jo sat her down before she fell from wiggling around so much.

And Zoe took a couple seconds to grieve the absence of her brother before launching herself like a disturbed bottle of coke at “Arry!”

Who stood with his arms crossed and his brow narrowed. The perfect shape and color of his lips was hidden by the straight line he had thinned them into. Beside him was who she had to assume was William.

He was about the same size as Harry, perhaps a little more robust in frame. He had a clean, classic haircut with a touch of curl in the dark blonde locks. His eyes were a milk chocolate brown and best of all, he had a full groomed beard. Had you asked Jo to describe her type of guy, and Cidra had, he would be it. No wonder Cidra was so keen to get them out together.

“Arry!” Zoe was happily at his feet and he thawed a touch to reach down and pick her up.

“Hey bug! What do you want to play tonight?” He tried for the level of enthusiasm he usually gave her. Jo could hear the false note in it, like she was a producer with headphones on and everybody else could be distracted by the backing vocals.

“Puppets!” Zoe raised her hands up and Harry looked bewildered for just second. He looked at Jo and she smiled at him. She wouldn’t have described Harry when asked her type then, but now she might, lanky and tall with long hair and beautiful olive skin and deep dimples and green, green eyes. Maybe she couldn’t even dream him up until she saw him grown into himself.

“She saw a puppet show at the library, so I got her a few and we’ve been using her kitchen set as a stage. Stuck a blanket over it.” Harry laughed at her description and he looked so beautiful.

A throat cleared and Jo remembered why Harry was here in the first place. She turned to her date. “Sorry, I’m unforgivably rude!! Jo Smith” she extended her hand. He took it and pulled her in a bit, keeping his arm across his stomach, so she had to enter his space bubble.

“William Sullivan, people call me Will, or brave ones, Sully. I bet you are a brave one! Cidra has been talking about you for ages and she told not a lie!” And he smiled appreciatively and his accent, maybe Belfast, was lovely, and he was handsome and just a bit younger than her, maybe 3 years, and perfect.

But Jo found she was fighting with herself to keep her eyes on her date and not watch Harry to see how he was feeling.

This was a good idea. She needed to go on a date with somebody her own age, in the same life stage. Not someone so young. Harry may make a great babysitter, but it would be totally unfair to thrust him into any kind of parenting role. Jo had been a parent at Harry’s age, you missed out on a lot. She would not take that from him, especially for a child not his own.

She was also miles ahead of herself. Harry was seeing a sweet faced undergrad and she was going on a lovely date with a very handsome man.

They had only kissed once.

Her eyes cut to Harry. He was looking at Zoe, but his face was a little red. He returned her gaze then and Jo wanted to be 3 inches tall. Felt it. That was the least charitable look he had ever given her.

“Are you ready, then? Need to grab a bag or anything?”

“Oh, sorry,” Jo was still looking at Harry while she said it, but she was answering both of their questions. ‘Sorry’ she mouthed again at Harry and he bit his lip and nodded.

Jo turned with an excuse me and grabbed her bag.

Dinner was lovely, it was.

William was lovely, he was.

He was educated and cerebral, but in no way pretentious. He had a working knowledge of art and even had been to a Jenny Seville exhibition Jo wanted to see herself. But the minute she thought of Seville’s art she thought of the way the flesh of Harry’s women looked, how he created some kind of meld between landscape and flesh and all of it seemed to be in motion, alive.

He made her feel alive. Her bones sing and hair scream and skin dance.

William sat across from her and he was more adequate in every department. He was of a certain age, she wouldn’t feel like she was cheating him of some experiences and forcing others upon him. There was no ethical questions surrounding him. Jo would not get fired it she was caught with William. Not unless she fucked him in front of her classes. Also, she wasn’t his advisor. There were so many inequalities between them. Harry was her protege, for fuck’s sake. That made her chuckle, but it must have been well timed, because William smiled like he was encouraged and she felt guilty but continued to let her mind wander. She may have introduced Harry to his inner artist, but he was light years ahead of her now. He could make a career of his talent. And she believed he would.

Last but not least, in fact most, was Ethan. How does one tell your barely grown son you are dating his best mate?

You don’t.

And if it was just a sexual thing, not worth it. Sex was lovely, but most certainly not worth upsetting her son over. Certainly no sex she had ever had. She looked across the table to William’s wide eyes and raised brows and knew she had missed a question.

“I’m sorry, what?” She blushed.

“Would you like desert? We could share?"he raised one brow.

Her distraction was totally unacceptable and Jo should say yes and cozy up to the perfectly lovely man. "Actually, I’m really sorry to say this, but I’m feeling unwell. I’m gonna head out, call an Uber.”

“Oh, no. Absolutely not. I’ll get the check and get you home.” He looked around for their server and Jo almost hurrahed aloud when the lady was nearby. Her heels were burning to go. She was already formulating her excuse for why this wasn’t going to work.

The drive home was silent, William put on a playlist from his phone and she really liked every song that came on. Even found herself singing along to the “The Freshman”. William joined her and she smiled, maybe they could try this again and she would feel something for him and her focus could come back to reality. Maybe?

Harry probably didn’t even know that song.

Once outside her home, she didn’t have the chance to get her door open, because Will moved like lightening to get it for her and he took her hand to walk her to the front of her house.

“Jo, can I call you in a couple months?” He asked when they got the the covered step at her door.

“Huh?” Jo thought for sure she would be turning down another date or basically shaking hands and parting ways. She was amazed that wasn’t the conclusion after her inattention.

“Cidra told me about your divorce. And, well I’ve been there myself, so I guessed we would see how it went before we tried to do it again. I’d like to take you out again. But only when you are ready.” His eyebrow on the left was raised.

He was lovely, dammit. Jo bit her lip and nodded. “Please call me in a few months, hopefully I’ll be in a place where I can appreciate how wonderful you are.”

Will smiled at that and she felt better about basically ignoring him their whole date. Jo let him assume it was her ex husband and not her babysitter causing the wandering mind.

He leaned in then and kissed her cheek and she returned the gesture and turned to open her door. She watched him get in his car and then closed the door, put on the latch and leaned against it with her eyes closed to gather herself before going to relieve Harry. She wasn’t sure what she would say to him. Or how awkward their exchange would be.

When her eyes opened and he was right in front of her with a hurricane face she clutched her chest. “Jesus, Harry, you scared me!” She whispered, because Zoe had better be asleep.

“Sorry,” he said with the cruelest smile Jo had ever seen on his face. It twisted and turned across his pretty mouth like churning clouds. “Did I interrupt your reverie?”

“My what?” Jo was lost.

“Looked like you were thinking on the kiss your suitable man gave you.” Suitable- that was a spot on word. Harry’s voice was a rumble of thunder when you didn’t see the lightening strike.

Jo pulled a face at him. “Not that it’s your business,” she moved around him to hang her purse and bag on the coat rack. And turned to stare at him with some weather of her own. Hands on hips, “but I didn’t kiss him.”

Harry scoffed then and walked back into the studio, throwing a “whatever Jo, I saw you.”

Jo went after him. No way was he getting away with being a little immature shit about this. “Listen, Harry, I get that this was awkward, I had no intention of you witnessing my date like I had to witness yours—”

“What date? I haven’t been on a date?”

“The one in the coffeehouse with the sweet blonde thing who looked right chuffed to be getting coffee with you.” He was facing her and she realized his shirt was half buttoned and he was holding his coat ready to go, and that he had been painting. His shirt had speckles of gold.

“Liz?” Harry looked puzzled.

“I don’t need to know her name!” Jo stamped her foot.

“Well I know his! And I watched him kiss you, since you lied about it.”

“Were you watching me?” Jo drew her chin back in question.

Harry looked heavenward. “Of fucking course I was watching you. I’m always bloody watching you! For any sign you want me! But I saw how you were with him! Could he have run to your door any faster?”

“Don’t mock him for being a gentleman!” Jo was livid.

“I’ll mock him if I want! And you don’t think I’d be a gentleman to you? I have been a gentlemen to you. Trying to let you call all the shots. I’d be whatever you wanted except what you think you need!” He was almost shouting and Jo shushed him.

“And what do I think I need?” Jo whisper yelled.

“Somebody older! Which I can’t be! But, Jo, you could be out with him still and instead you are hear yelling with m—”

“Well! That’s because I fucking want you instead, isn’t it!”

At that, the lightening struck right between them and the electricity closed the circuit and Harry had her face in his hands and her mouth on his and was picking her up to lay her on the canvas on her studio floor.