#sorry there's not a lot of the skywalkers but as always I have been derailed by Qui and Obi dynamics

[willowcrowned]

I wish you would write a fic where for some reason Luke & Leia are dropped in the past, specifically in the Mellida/Daan conflict after tiny baby Obi Wan has decided to stay there and Qui Gon has left him, which is followed by them winning that war and adopting/kidnapping Obi Wan and then meeting Qui Gon who kinda wants to 1- induct them into the order and 2- his Padawan back

Keeping in mind that I haven’t actually read any of the books, and all my knowledge has been gained through dubious fandom osmosis, let’s do this:

Luke and Leia are both twenty seven. The New Republic is established, the new Order has lots more Jedi Masters, and both of them are, well, not obsolete, because they both take an active role in their respective jobs, but they’re not necessary. Leia and Han are married, Luke has had a string of hookups, and they’re both... restless. You don’t live a war for four years and come out of it knowing how to live peacefully. Leia doesn’t know how to stop being in command; Luke doesn’t know how to stop feeling like he needs to be saving people all the time.

And then, all of a sudden, they’re in the middle of a war zone. Shots are flying, there’s yelling, and, worst of all, there are children everywhere. Luke ignites his saber, Leia grabs her blaster, and they get out of there, pulling as many children with them as they can. 

The kids take them to their high command, which is filled with children— and only children. Luke and Leia share a look, and they can feel the other’s face harden in tandem with their own. This cannot— will not— go on.

And then, leading them, is a tiny jedi padawan and a girl with a shock of red hair, and Luke, against all odds, knows who the child is.

The war ends quickly after that— not bloodlessly, not without sacrifice, not without pain that the children never should have had to endure, but at least it ends quickly. Obi-Wan and his friend, Cerasi, both survive through the war, and through the rebuilding.

And then Luke and Leia are at a loss. 

They’ve done this before— staying after peace has been established, seeing the resurgence not only of life, but of culture, of music and literature and science, and they love it, they love seeing the beginnings of a new kind of civilization but... there’s nothing for them to do. 

Okay, they think, looking at each other. There must be other planets like this. We can bring them peace.

They tell the Young, the Melida, the Daan— they tell Cerasi and Obi-Wan— and everyone is happy but one. Luke can sense it— he’s always been attuned to Obi-Wan— and he asks him what’s wrong. 

The whole story of Qui-Gon tumbles out of him— Tahl, leaving him, and Bandomeer before that— and Luke is a kind person, but this? This is awful.

“Alright,” he says to Obi-Wan, “If you want, I could train you.” And every bit of anxiety that Luke might feel about his own negligible mastery is washed away by the pure brightness of Obi-Wan’s face.

They leave Melida/Daan to its rebirth, and find another system to help. Obi-Wan grows, both in stature and in skill, and most importantly, in security. Every day that Luke and Leia don’t leave him, every day they hug him and come back for him and ask him what he’s feeling and what he wants like it matters, like he matters, he heals a little more.

And then, when Obi-Wan is fifteen, Qui-Gon tracks them down.

They’ve been on Mandalore a month when he shows up (Obi-Wan clearly has a crush on Satine, and Leia is coaching him through the politics of it while Luke just says vaguely encouraging things about love and connections with other people). Luke and Leia are... not pleased, to put it politely. They tell him, very sweet and very cold the whole way through, that he’s not welcome anywhere near Obi-Wan.

And then everything goes down.

The five of them end up on the run together, stuck in small ship after small ship, and Qui-Gon wants to dislike them, he really does, but they’re competent fighters and leaders, subtle when they need to be and loud when they don’t, and they’re excellent teachers for Obi-Wan, who’s excelling in a way Qui-Gon has never seen of a padawan before.

But they don’t let him near Obi-Wan. (The deal, as they explained it on the first night, was that until Obi-Wan asked to talk to Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon would not be talking to him. It’s a hard rule to enforce, and they do occasionally have to work together whenever they get into a tight spot, but for the most part, it sticks. Qui-Gon hasn’t been able to say any more to Obi-Wan than “On your left,” “Get down,” and “Now!”)

(Obi-Wan and Satine, all this while are engaging in the sort of courting that would only occur to two fairly repressed teenagers who tend to get shot at a lot, which is to say that there are many, many, occasions upon which they stitch each others wounds.)

And then it all comes to head.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon get trapped on a planet, Luke and Leia blasting off into the atmosphere with Satine, because they’ll all die if they don’t, and Obi-Wan is left alone with the man that might have been his master. 

Qui-Gon, to his credit, doesn’t push— they’re both exhausted, and Obi-Wan is wounded, and Qui-Gon may be practical but he’s not cruel, so after they’ve found shelter and stitched themselves up, he doesn’t push. After all, no one dies if Obi-Wan continues on the path he’s set for himself, even if the Order loses what might have been a brilliant Jedi. And besides, Qui-Gon has too much respect for Luke and Leia now to say that what they’re teaching Obi-Wan is bad.

So it’s Obi-Wan who speaks first.

“They’re coming back, you know.”

Qui-Gon doesn’t scoff but— it’s a near thing. “The mission is more important. They know that.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t react defensively— not the way a normal child might— he just shakes his head, and says with complete peace and certainty, “They’re coming back. They always do.”

Qui-Gon inclines his head, not conceding the point, but conceding that he won’t argue it further. 

There’s a silence, then, a stillness that stretches beyond not moving— something in the Force, a waiting, the static before a thunderstorm.

“I came back,” Qui-Gon says, in the end, tired and older than his years, “to Melida/Daan. I came back for you.”

Obi-Wan swallows, looking very, very, small all of a sudden, even wrapped in Luke’s cloak. “You left me,” he says, barely above a whisper. “You left a thirteen year old in the middle of a war he didn’t know how to handle, and then you took my home from me.”

“I know,” Qui-Gon says, and he knows what he has to say— what he’s known since he found Melida/Daan at peace, and Obi-Wan gone, spirited away by some specters of a war ended, and realized that he had lost him for good— but that doesn’t make the words come any easier. “I was wrong,” he chokes out, syllable by agonizing syllable, “it was cruel, and I was wrong.”

A strange change comes over Obi-Wan, as if, after all these years, Qui-Gon’s words still mean something to him— as if whatever explanation he can give is enough for Obi-Wan’s absolution.

“Yes,” he agrees, and if he sounds older than he is, it’s not because he’s tired, but because he’s balanced, “it was.”

“I’m sorry,” Qui-Gon says, because it’s true, because he is, because he knows know what he didn’t know then— that Obi-Wan was right, was better than him in that moment, that Obi-Wan saw injustice, saw pain, and gave up everything he had, everything he’d ever wanted, to stop it. Qui-Gon hasn’t ever been able to do that, and he wants to blame it on Dooku, on the Order, on the censure he always receives for acting outside the exact guidelines, but he knows the truth of it; he keeps himself from caring so he doesn’t ever have to face those choices. Dooku may have taught him, the Order may have shaped him, but it’s him who makes that decision, day after day, and it took losing another padawan to finally face it. If Qui-Gon is what a Jedi is, then Obi-Wan is what a Jedi should be.

Obi-Wan looks at him, and he’s hurt, yes, and still grieving, but above all else he’s kind, like he can see what Qui-Gon has gone through, like he’s witnessed the worst he has to offer, and still thinks there’s good in him— the genuine, shining, good embodied by Obi-Wan.

“I know,” Obi-Wan says, “and I forgive you.”

[themusicplayedherlife]

To Love is the Greatest Gift

1. The Return

pairing: obi wan kenobi x f!reader (past!din djarn x f!reader) characters: f!reader, anakin amidala-skywalker, padmé amidala-skywalker, mentiones of din djarin, obi wan kenobi, others word count: 2.6k+ warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of rent: the musical (death, second chances) uh... I think that’s it? summary: au!it’s never been the right timing for you and obi wan kenobi; maybe this time will be different. a/n: i started working on this story so long ago it’s ridiculous, but I suddenly had a surge of motivation to continue this story after some tragic family news. this was also very much inspired by @martlands and their amazing obi wan stories, made me want to write my own and here it is

all || next

“You broke up?”

One would think that the immediate reaction to someone asking if you broke up with your significant other would be to cry or begin to ask them what could have possibly gone wrong. But that’s not the reaction you give. 

The reaction you give is just a shrug and a strong pop, as you spoon more gelato onto the little spoon his twins love collecting. “Yep.”

“After only three weeks of dating?” Anakin doesn’t know why he’s surprised, but he is. This is probably the shortest living relationship you’ve ever had. “Why?”

“Why not?” you answer easily, nonchalantly and you know it frustrates him. “It wasn’t working out, so we decided to call it quits.”

Not even a month ago, you had been genuinely excited about finally getting out there and meeting someone new, and even more excited when you were telling him all about this person you met while out with some old friends. You had said, word for word, “he might be the perfect contender!”

Where did all that excitement go?

You sigh, finally looking up at him and away from your white chocolate gelato that's just to die for. “Ani, it’s fine. It just didn’t work out. It happens.”

He grimaces. “What happened between you and Din—“

You bristle at the mention of your ex, narrowing your eyes and his widen in defense. You know what Anakin and Padmé think of him and it’s not entirely pleasant (particularly from Anakin’s part). It’s completely unfair. Din is lovely, sure a little socially awkward, but lovely nonetheless. “Has nothing to do with why Gar and I ended things.”

“But—“

“Nothing,” you reiterate with a bit more force and he sighs, lifting his hands in defeat while holding his own cup of gelato.

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry.” And then, like a light switching, he turns playful. “Was it his name that turned you off—Gar?”

You resist the urge to groan and roll your eyes. “Oh maker, you are annoying!”

You huff as you make the trek back to the trolley that’ll take you both up to the observatory. The rest of your conversation is forgotten as he navigates it towards continuing to tease you and the latest exhibit you had helped set up.

The Coruscant Observatory is one of the most popular attractions in the city aside from the Exotic Animal Sanctuary (where most zoologist work to help rehabilitate wild animals before reintroducing them back into the wild, only housing the ones that have been assessed to not be able to function in the wild on their own—which are unfortunately many).

Your place of work is known for its large, ground telescope; its monthly constellation exhibits; the multiple planetarium theater rooms that house lectures, activities, star projections, etc.; and its Astronomer Q&A program where visitors can ask astronomers questions and even get a tour of the space station.

However, most of your days are spent in your office, planning for the next exhibit or actually executing them with your team; meanwhile, Anakin spends them in tech, sometimes maintaining the telescope, other times helping with IT issues, but mostly making sure the theater rooms worked perfectly for their 4D immersion.

(You like to joke that out of the two of you, he has it easiest; sometimes he’ll run by your office to get to another part of the building while you’re doing something and you’ll yell out, “slacker” and he’ll respond with, “you just work too much”.)

“Are Padmé and the twins stopping by today?”

“Not today, maybe tomorrow,” he says as you both step out of the trolley along with a few tourists. “I think today they decided to stay for some school thing.”

“Shouldn’t you know what that school thing is?” you chide him out of jest.

He scowls, there’s hardly any heat in it and it makes you grin. “It’s a music performance that the CN Theater is putting on.”

“Ah, and we all know how much musicals bores you.”

“I just don’t understand them,” he murmurs defensively as you climb the few steps leading to the entrance. The two of you smiling and greeting Rex at his security post and bypassing the ticket gate with your IDs.

“You mean you don’t have any taste,” you tease.

“It’s weird! I mean, most of them are all about tragedies and betrayals. What happened to the good ol’ romance and happy endings?”

“Not all of them are tragedies, Casanova.”

The main rotunda lobby is full of people milling about, looking at maps or the foucault pendulum in the middle of the room. Low chatter fills the room, shoes clicking and clacking against the marble flooring.

“Name one.”

Spotting the trash can and recycle bin, Anakin holds his hand out for your disposable cup and spoon and throws them away in their proper bin.

“Rent.” There are probably better examples, but you had been listening to the original cast album the night before and have all the songs still stuck in your head.

“Don’t two characters die?”

“Angel and Mimi.” You nod. “But Mimi is brought back to life by Angel, and is given a second chance at life.”

“She may have been brought back to life, but that doesn’t take away from the fact she died.”

“I’m not arguing with you on that, I’m just saying the ending was hopeful—not necessarily a happy ending, but it left you thinking—maybe things can get better.”

“And that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for—“

“What you and Padmé have?” you ask him as you both reach the door of your office.

He pauses, mouth opening and closing before finally rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and saying, “Yeah.”

You smile, genuine and happy for your childhood friend. Who would’ve thought that years ago when you introduced them, they’d be here years later—married and with twins. You and Anakin sure as hell didn’t. For most of your childhood, you both believed you’d live out your life on Tatooine, hang with the same friends you’ve known since your pre-kinder days and eventually get married to each other—much to the dismay of your parents—because of benefits or whatever, until your parents decided they wanted to send you off to a private school in one of the major cities, derailing your and Anakin’s plan (for the better, if you’re being honest).

“You’re still coming over for dinner, right?”

“Yeah,” you answer, unlocking your office door with your key. “I have a meeting that might go over the expected time, but I should be able to make it on time.”

“Just let us know,” he says, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “But you better be there! We have some planning to do!”

You roll your eyes and wave him away, promising he and his family will definitely see you at five. With a hearty chuckle he salutes you and leaves the door slightly ajar, just like you usually do. It’s your “you can come in to ask me questions, but knock first, please” visual telling.

With a soft exhale, you drop yourself into your creaking office chair, eyes landing on the first picture on your right—a younger you, only 18, fresh out of your uniform smiling wildly with a large bouquet of flowers that you can still distinctly remember the smell of.

“I am in love!” Padmé exclaimed, squealing in absolute delight at the flowers put in your hand.

Blue eyes crinkled with amusement, staring down at you. “Are you?” His voice was low, teasing and almost smug. He had obviously heard the gasp that escaped your lips when he presented you the colorful bouquet created with your favorite flowers that his father grew in their little garden.

“Irrevocably,” you answered, not able to hide your smile as you gently held it against your chest and smiled up at him. “They’re beautiful, Obi. Thank you.”

Obi Wan’s arm is wrapped around your shoulder, caught in the action of a booming laughter. He was always laughing in pictures. There isn’t a single picture you have of him that he isn't smiling.

Your finger gently trails over his smiling face. Maker, you miss him.

Is he still traveling? Or has he finally settled down again? Will he show up and spring some unexpected news on you again? Stars, you hope not. Shit didn’t go as planned last time and it probably wouldn’t again.

Your hand falls limply and you swivel in your seat, looking out the large glass window overlooking the majority of the city and sigh softly—an exhale of wary hope and sadness.

A bird soars by your window, it’s wings flapping effortlessly, diving before flying higher and away.

He’s not coming back. You know this. Coruscant just isn’t the same anymore. Not when he feels this city has taken everything from him.

One more year visiting Gui Gon without him.

The meeting runs longer than it usually would, just like you had expected. Checking the time, you let out a curse and quickly throw your belongings into your car.

Without wasting time, as soon as you switch on your engine, you place your phone on the dock and say, “Hey C-3PO, call Padmé.”

“Calling Padmé,” your phone’s AI answers through the speakers of your car.

“Are you outside?” Is how she greets you. There are loud noises in the background, children squabbling about something or another, and Anakin’s weary voice trying to rally them. 

You snort, pulling out of the undergroundparking lot. “Not yet, barely got out of my meeting and am on my way.”

“Please hurry, the twins really want to see you and are dying from hunger,” she says, amusement in her voice and not at all trying to hurry you. “They might start eating Anakin soon.”

“Hey, don’t bite that!” He yells from a distance.

“Hurry, please!” you hear over the phone—Luke. “I miss you,” he says, closer now. Which you immediately reply saying you miss him too, almost cutting off the next voice.

“And I’m hungry!” Leia’s voice follows his, practically yelling into the phone.

You laugh fondly, just imagining the childish glee on their faces at your scandalized gasps and your exaggerated “me too” answers.

“Leia, no yelling,” Padmé scolds her, gentle and kind. “Softer, please.”

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m hungry,” she repeats, softer, almost a whisper.

“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there,” you promise. “If not, you have my permission to start eating your dad.”

Leia and Luke break into a fit of laughter, yelling something away from the phone to Anakin, who once again lets out a loud, “Hey!”

Padmé chuckles, moving away from the voices of the children tackling their father and their play fighting. “Take your time, we’re not in any hurry to start eating. The kids had a hearty lunch and a snack after school.”

“What about you and Anakin?”

“We’re fine, don’t worry. Just get here safely and we’ll see you soon.”

You end the call with one last reassurance from her and let out a loud sigh when your car comes to a stop behind a long line of glaring red lights—traffic. You hate traffic.

You might be surrounded by blinding lights and different models of vehicles, but it leaves you alone with your thoughts, the low hum of your engine and music from your stereo drowned out by the chattering in your head. 

It’s never just one thing that you think about. It can go from one thing to another, to all of them trying to climb over eachother and be the most present: your friends; your family; the dog next door; Din and Baby; cinnamon apple cookies; the beach house in Naboo; sneaking out of the prep dormitories at 2am with Padmé keeping an eye out and Obi Wan holding his arms out for you; rose gardens and peach tea; freckles on blushing skin; drunken singing in a small living room; 21st birthdays crying in a bathroom stall; that stupid movie quote about choosing life; death; but sometimes (most occurring) it’s Obi Wan that weaves into every thought.

He’s a constant plague in your mind, has been since the first time he left Coruscant in search of himself. 

Sometimes they’re pleasant thoughts, memories kept in a nostalgic trunk that you occasionally like to sift through. Other times, they’re not so pleasant; those are the ones you constantly struggle with, try to push into the recesses of your mind and keep them under lock and key. But for some stupid, strange reason, your mind only ever remembers the bad, even when there are better things to dwell on.

“I just—I just don’t understand why you have to leave—Obi. Obi!” you practically yelled, watching him move around his room, grabbing and throwing things he pulled out into his duffel bag. “Listen to me!” 

He didn’t stop, not until you reached for his duffel bag and plucked it out from his hands. He stared at you, his duffel bag carelessly thrown to the floor with his clothes spilling out. 

Your breathing was labored, a sick feeling swimming in your stomach, words stuck in your throat now that he wasn’t hiding his beautiful blue eyes from you—his devastatingly heartbroken eyes. “I have to,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “I need to leave. This house—this city, it's suffocating me. I can’t—I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Obi… Obi, please.” You can’t leave me. You can’t! Please! Please, Obi.

“I need to do this for me, darling. I’m sorry.”

You should’ve fought harder that night, should’ve convinced him to stay, but instead you helped him pack again with tears obstructing your view and sobs escaping your lips. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have lost him.

No, your breath stutters as you lean back into your car seat, there was nothing you could’ve done. Either times. He had made up his mind long before that night.

A car honks their horn to your left and you jump, eyes focusing once more on the red lights of the car in front of you. You wipe at your face harshly and straighten your spine. 

That was years ago, little one. Shake it off. 

Sighing softly, you look up at the street name and make a turn onto the Skywalker residence street, your shoulders relaxing when their two story home comes into view.  

Shake it off.

Parking isn't easy to find in their neighborhood, not when it’s so close to the observatory and some of the most visited parks in the area, but you manage to find one just two cars away from their house. 

Gathering your things, you lock the door behind you and quickly make your way down the sidewalk, phone in your hand and typing out a message that you’re here.

It’s while you’re hitting send that you don’t notice the body in front of you, staring up at the house with an almost wary expression on his face, or how his eyes widen when they see you. It’s not until you collide into his body, soft with a fleece cardigan, that you notice him. Embarrassment begins to boil in your blood as you quickly apologize to him, berating yourself for not being more aware of your surroundings.

“Kriff, I’m so sorry—“ you start, but the apology catches in your throat when you look up.

“Hello, there.” Blue eyes, so soft and kind, like the ones you once used to dream of stare back at you—so unlike the pair of eyes you saw years ago. “It’s been a long time, darling.”

You can’t shake him off.

next

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy

[threephasebird]

Hello friend, it's Nicole from TAD discord, so sorry for awkwardly & randomly sliding into your dms. I've noticed that you've been reblogging a lot of The Untamed recently and I have just finished The Untamed & literally cannot think about anything else. I'm obsessed. Anyway, I've also noticed from your blog that your favorite seems to be JGY and I find that *fascinating*. He's very much not my fav, but he's such a complex character that I would love to hear your thoughts & feelings & analysis?

And to be completely clear, I will never try to debate with you or say your opinions are wrong or immoral or anything. I'm not an anti, I've stanned plenty of villains in my time. I'm just genuinely curious. I think the fact that you have such different feelings about this character is part of the beauty of stories and a testament to how complex and smart this particular story is.

Hello friend! First of all, thank you for your ask -- I love talking about my fictional faves, so there’s no need to apologize at all! There are definitely people out there who have already posted much more cohesive and succinct character analysis for JGY, but I’ve sat down for a bit to find an answer to the question of why I, personally, like him so much. I ended up finding six possible ways to answer this question, which I’ll list below and then go into (a lot) more detail under the cut. Hope you enjoy!

1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable

2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts

3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way

4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch

5) I like him because LXC likes him

6) JGY is very small and has dimples

So, onward! (2.7k)

1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable

One possible way of looking at JGY is that throughout the entire story, his end goal is to eliminate all of the Jin family and come out on top as sect leader, chief cultivator and most powerful person in the cultivation world. However, I personally find it more intriguing to think that his specific plans shifted throughout the story and that he didn’t follow a long con the way NHS did, but that the common ground in everything he does is that he’s motivated by wanting security. Then, everything that he does afterwards is a step-by-step escalation when no matter what he does and how far he comes, his goal is always dangled right in front of him, but ultimately impossible to reach.

When he joins the Nie clan, on a superficial level it seems that this place could offer him the security he wants and needs, especially with NMJ protecting him -- but on the flip side of the coin, no one apart from NMJ and NHS seem to respect him, and his security entirely depends on NMJ’s goodwill. It’s an exteremely fragile position that could probably only ever last for a limited amount of time. Even if JGY never killed the guard captain and wasn’t thrown out of the Unclean Realm, how would the future have looked like for him? NMJ’s life expectancy was low to begin with, and once he had died (of natural causes, in this hypothetical case), NHS wouldn’t have been able to hold the same protective hand over JGY as his brother, and JGY would have become the disrespected advisor to the disrespected clan leader. (On a side note, I personally don’t think JGY released XY to get the yin iron -- I think it makes more sense that he wanted to use XY as bargaining chips against WC, seeing how he goes to free him immediately after WC asks for NMJ to release XY, to save the Unclean Realm and, in extension, his own ass.)

After JGY is thrown out, he’s basically out of options -- it’s go big or go home, because which other clan would take him in now? So he sets his sight on being recognized by JGS once more, and in order to succeed, he derives the plan of becoming a spy under WRH and do something so “heroical” that after the war, JGS has no other choice but to accept him into his clan. And at first, it seems like he succeeds and that he finally gets everything he wished for -- his father recognizes him as a son and gives him a position, he’s part of the Jin clan, he has power, he’s secure! But then it turns out that he was wishing on the monkey’s paw. His father doesn’t truly recognize him, and even in the Jin clan he’s disrespected (by JGS, by Madam Jin, by Jin Zixun), he doesn’t truly hold power (he just has to do whatever JGS tells him to), and he’s not secure (JGS instrumentalizes him because he’s useful to him right now, but does that mean he’ll be useful forever? So there’s a constant threat there).

I think the only reason JGS officially adopts JGY is that it allows him to claim the victory over WRH for the Jin clan and to expand his own power. Instead of JGY being recognized, JGS instrumentalizes him from the very first second and to make it worse, he makes JGY his attack dog the same way WRH did. I think the things JGY does under both WRH and JGS are absolutely horrifying, but I can’t help but also feel horrified for him. Under WRH, I think he tells himself that whatever he does is the lesser evil because it’ll end the war quicker, and that it’ll all be worth it in the end, and as a result, he loses parts of his own humanity there. And then under JGS, it’s the same fucked up shit again, except that this time, he also wants so very badly for JGS to value him, and in addition, he’s also completely out of options now. Without wanting to excuse the things he does under JGS, the only alternative at this point is for him to leave the Jin clan and the cultivation world as a whole, and I do think there’s a definite possibility that JGS would have him killed if he did because he knew too much about JGS’s plans.

Without passing judgment on his involvement in JZX and JZX’s deaths, as well as him killing NMJ and JGS for now (the latter being the one thing that I’m personally most horrified of), I don’t see JGY as a villain who enjoys being the villain the way XY does. I think he’s constantly horrified at himself and compartmentalizes to a degree where he’s actually derailing his own plans. Him throwing out XY immediately after killing JGS reads to me as him wanting to close the chapter of everything they did under JGS -- I think he must have acted out of a visceral emotion there or else he wouldn’t have left XY to die at the side of a road so carelessly (and, in effect, allowed for someone to live on with detailed knowledge of his own deeds). After rising to power (and finally, seemingly, really getting the security he’s always wanted), he doesn’t use that power to become WRH 3.0, but instead to do genuinely good things (such as building the watch towers). That’s not supposed to mean that him not being a cruel despot makes up for everything he’s done, but I find it interesting to think about from the perspective of, what kind of person could he have been if this opportunity had been given to him freely -- if his own class and social standing didn’t prevent him from that? I think he’d have become an incredibly powerful cultivator and clan leader if he’d have the same privilege as JZX.

In a way, I see JZX, WC, and JGY as narrative foils. WC shows us who JZX might have become if JGS treated him the same way as WRH treats WC. But, JGS doesn’t -- he shields his own son from this part of the Jin clan, and basically allows him to live in a completely different reality as JGY! JZX’s whole character arc is one of personality development, and becoming a hero, and falling in love -- he doesn’t have a clue about his father wanting to get his hands on XY and the Stygian tiger amulet and arguably about at least part of the war crimes he commits against the Wen clan. It’s not part of his life. In a way, JGY is the sacrifice being made to allow him to live his life unaware because in him, JGS found someone else to do his dirty work.

2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts

Sometimes, when you want to be a villain apologist, all you need to do is point at one or a few bits of the story and say, “well if they hadn’t done that...”. (See, for example, Anakin Skywalker -- you wanna write a RotS canon divergence fixit? Just have Obi-Wan come back approximately one hour earlier and you have it, because before Anakin kills the Jedi even the Younglings he’s basically completely redeemable.) With JGY, you don’t get to have that. There’s no single turning point where you could say, “if he had picked the other option, he could have had a happy ending”. And part of the reason for that, which makes him a tragic character in my eyes, is that he crucially lacks options at many turning points.

In order to write a canon divergence AU for JGY where he comes out unscathed and redeemable, you’d have to go pretty far back in the story, and even then, you’d have to work hard to find a solution to his story that doesn’t a) rely on someone saving him (such as: LXC brings him to Cloud Recesses, or: JGS has a change of heart, frees his mother, and sends them a comfortable monthly pension), b) having him be dependent on someone else’s goodwill (such as: staying in the Unclean Realm in a delicate position).

If we don’t want to go back right to the very beginning or change fundamental parts of the story, well... As I’ve mused about above, if we let him stay in the Unclean Realm, he’d have never reached his goal of security either. If he never became a spy during the Sunshot Campaign, he wouldn’t have been accepted into the Jin clan and would have been out of options. If he never committed the atrocities for JGS, JGS would probably have kicked him out or killed him. (I do think there’s a lot of truth in what JGY tells NMJ in the empathy flashback, on that instance.) If he didn’t kill NMJ, there is a distinct possibility that NMJ would have killed him -- we see him try three times on screen, after all. (I’m leaving out the parts about him being directly responsible for JZX’s and JZX’s death in the show, as well as for controlling the corpses at Nighless City and JYL’s death, because it’s not in the book and I think it takes away from WWX’s character. As for QS’s and their son’s deaths...I personally do not see strong motivation for him to kill them, but in the end, we just don’t know which is, on a side note, a thing I really like about The Untamed/MDZS! Sometimes we just don’t know because the only people who know for sure can’t tell us anymore.) One option could be for him to confide to JZX, bring him over to his own side, and non-violently overthrow JGS, which would be a good and satisfying ending both to his and JZX’s character arcs -- but I also think there’s a high possibility JZX would hold JGY responsible for what he and JGS did, and never trust him with power again.

(Again, one thing I really do not wish to excuse away is how he killed JGS, and I just. Desperately wished he didn’t.)

I’ve been going over and over the possibilites for fix-its and canon divergence AUs, but in the end, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that the only real choice JGY has throughout the story is whether to remove himself from the narrative or stay in it. He could make the choice to give up his mother’s dream, reject his father, and leave cultivation world (and, on a meta level, the story!) to become a “nobody”. (Small side note, though -- living on which skills?) If he doesn’t -- well, as soon as he enters the game, the cards are stacked against him.

To pick up on the meta level comment, I do find it fascinating that in a sense, JGY not only has to struggle for respect and recognition within the story, but that what he does also serves to keep his character part of the story. He could choose to give up and leave (and thus come out of the story redeemable), but then he wouldn’t be part of the story anymore.

3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way

Continuing with the last point, JGY interacts with the story in two unique ways that distinguish him basically from all the other characters. He’s not actually supposed to be part of the story, but that he basically claws his way in. But that also means that his class and social status cannot be removed from any of the conflicts he encounters in universe -- they’re at the heart of all of them. In the empathy flashback, he says to NMJ, “You always scold me for indecent scheming. You always say that you are just and straight [...] A decent man shouldn’t resort to devious stratagems. [...] You’re of noble birth and have profound cultivation. What about me? How can I be the same? First, I don’t have the foundation of cultivation. No one has ever taught me that since I was a child! Second, I don’t have any background. Do you think that my position is very solid in the Jin clan of Lanling?” What I find so intriguing about this scene is that he’s right when he says he’s different from the others both in text and on a meta level because most of the other characters are never faced with the same decisions and have a natural place within the story (apart, to some degree, WWX and XY, where also interesting parallels can be drawn). And the other characters are, in a way, self-righteous to judge him when almost none of them come out of the story without blood on their hands -- WWX’s revenge, JC torturing demonic cultivators after WWX’s death, and so on...The entire cultivation world (even NMJ! even LXC!) were complicit in the war crimes against the Wen. But when the cultivation world turns against JGY, they are the most appalled by the things I as a viewer would be the most lenient towards (murdering JGS), and don’t care at all about the thing that horrifies me the most (murdering the sex workers).

There’s an interesting post by @pumpkinpaix​ analysing how class dynamics work in the story, which I highly recommend! I don’t want to repeat what has been said there already in much better ways than I can, but among other things, it makes some really interesting points about how much JGY’s class is tied with his motivations.

4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch

Aside from any analysis, part of the reason why I like him so much is that when he’s acting as a villain, he’s just so much fun to watch. When WWX breaks into his vault in paperman form and JGY has approximately 5 minutes to get rid of the head, the torture bench (?) and anything suspicious, contact and inform Su She, run to a different building and come back, and nonetheless he manages to convince everyone but WWX and LWJ that he’s the victim in this situation, it’s just. Peak entertainment? For a short time, he’s on top of the game, and then he’s backed into a corner and becomes sloppy, and finally loses it all due to sentimentality (if he didn’t want to take his mother’s body with him and say goodbye to LXC, I’m sure he could have fled the country). I think Zhu Zanjin did an amazing job as an actor to portray how JGY is constantly assessing everything, how 23638 emotions flicker over his face in half a second, how his whole body language shows the constant anxiety and pressure and stress and fear he’s under, and how we actually get to see in his microexpressions when JGY chooses a path and commits to the acting and emotional manipulation to follow it through.

5) I like him because LXC likes him 

Here’s a secret: Actually, LXC is my favourite character. And LXC loves JGY a lot. So I’m kind of contractually obliged to at least love JGY a little bit as well?

On a more serious note, I’m very intrigued in their relationship because I do think what they had was genuine. I view it as two people being very open and honest and true with each other, while placing a lot of things outside the brackets and crossing them out. LXC even says that he was aware of some things JGY did (which ones? how? I need to know) but that he justified them to himself. I think they both realised that they could have had something very special, but under the given circumstances, LXC wouldn’t have been able to help JGY (see: point 2) even if he knew everything. Still, they were obviously very close and trusted each other as much as they could. I think in the end, when LXC seemed to have decided to stay and die with him, JGY pushed him away because he was the only genuinely good part of his life, and he felt like he couldn’t rightfully deprive the world of LXC. It’s all very tragic, and I’m very intrigued to explore what they could have been in a slightly softer world.

6) JGY is very small and has dimples

I can only speak for myself, but when I was watching, I was so prone at any point to believe in him no matter what was revealed. Look at him! Could this man do something wrong?

[princehec-tor-kur]

Warning this post will go off the rails and take a sharp turn to 'personal opinion junction'.

Just watched the second episode of The Owl House.

LITERALLY EPISODE TWO AND THEY ALREADY TOUCHED ON ONE OF MY FAVOURITE NARRATIVE POINTS: THE SUBVERSION OF THE CHOOSEN ONE TROPE.

This fuxking show man. It's gonna be legendary, people will use this as template to judge all future cartoons. It's not overrated. It's beutiful and amazing.

So spoliers I suppose.

Luz is tricked into believeing she's a choosen one dealio, to make her feel special and lure Eda into a trap. So the venture is in fact about Eda not Luz. The prophecy is a hoax because even tho she literally was transfered into a fairytale, this story isn't a fairytale. There is no choosen one, because it's garbage.

The choosen one trope is one of my least favourite narrative devices in storytelling and I joyiously celebrate everytime I see it flipped on it's head. Like, it's total bull, yeah some rando is choosen by the winds of fate to be the saviour of the victimised cosmos or whatever. Which pretty much translates to: Fuck you everyone who ever lives, lived and will live, this one person who is no different from any other nobody is better than you in every way and is way more important.

I hate that. I luv when the civilians have to save themselves and not just kiss someone elses heels. I luv that The Owl House touched on it and helps teach kids that one person isn't more important than any other. Not every man is born equal, but every man should live equal. Take duty into our own hands and not just stand by and have a walking mcguffen take care of our problems. Let the nobody stay a nobody.

If you'll excuse my inner comic book nerd for a sec, one of my fav examples of this is from The Dark Knight Returns. Batman returns (get it?) to a life of fighting crime after he's been retired for years. He defeats a gang leader that had the city cowaring in fear, people and police thought they couldn't stand up to him, so Batman stood up for them to lead the way. That way the hero still gets their heroic badass moment and the achievement of victory, but something more important happens.

The city stands up for itself. Bruce knew he was too old and never perfect enough to win the endless battle alone. Supervillains will keep coming. Gangsters and criminals will keep killing. Batman won't be there for Gotham forever. He'll die one day. So, he shows Gotham how to protect itself, news reports come on screen saying how regular civilains are standing up for each other, a grocery store cashier scaring of some robber. Alfred asks Bruce how he's doing and he smiles and says "Like it was yesturday." with a smile. Gotham has regained hope, it's fighting back, fighting for itself.

The citizens work hand in hand with the criminals to save the city after America's electrical grid goes offline. Together the day is saved by the everyday man.

And this is frowned apon by the president and the US government. Under their control all of America falls into chaos, except for - you guessed it - Gotham. The saviours are embarassed and frustrated that Gotham's people managed to do something they, the superiors that you're supposed to look up to and putting your faith in couldn't. That's way the military sends Superman to take out Batman, using the messiah complexed perfect man to restore order under their banner.

Batman fakes his death so that the myth and legend is no one. He removes himself from the story. The story is bigger now, no longer about a capped Marie Sue, but rather about the people, summed up by Lana Lang "-the power is and always was in our hands." There is no King Arthur or Luke Skywalker or Harry Potter anymore. The icon, hero and choosen one is dead. And now all the city has is itself, it fights for itself and holds itself up.

Sorry... that was a lot. I'm sorry I derailed this post a lot, but I just want to show what kind of writer I wanna be and what kind of storytelling is important to me.

If you stuck by till the end, thank you.

[shadowsong26fic]

Another Random AU Because Why Not

A couple months ago, I outlined a Heralds of Valdemar crossover/fusion/AU (which I’ve done some more Pondering on since then because it’s fun/hilarious). And then I did the Rabbit Hole AU, which was even more hilarious/fun.

Anyway, now that I’ve plugged my previous crack AUs, as you do, I have decided to outline another one! And for Reasons, it’s #10 on my List of Things I’ll Never Actually Write.

::ahem::

Without further ado, I present to you: Bail Organa Unfucks the Timeline

So, point the first (and this is an important one): Bail doesn’t know how he died.

I mean, he kiiiiiiiinda does? Like, the thought occurs (once he has a second to think, which takes a while, as we’ll see shortly). He knows what happened to Jedha, and possibly to Scarrif (which I can’t spell). But at the same time, there’s this sort of denial aspect to it. Like--even Tarkin would never.

(Also, he didn’t actually see the Death Star. He was not near a window/on the wrong side of the planet/something.)

So, he decides he had a stroke or something.

Point the second (also important): That whole ‘inform the Senate that all aboard were killed’ message? Never reached him. Because a) Alderaan had no actual Senator in place on Coruscant/Imperial Center/whatever the cool kids are calling it these days at the time to hear said message, and b) the Senate was dissolved like five minutes later so whichever of his friends drew the short straw on that one got a wee bit distracted.

All clear? Good! On to the fun stuff.

So, one minute, Bail is in his study, going over maps or supply routes or other war-preparation-y things with a trusted aide, and the next, he’s back on Christophsis.

More specifically, he is being tackled to one side by someone yelling “GET DOWN, SIR” just as something explodes over his head.

Which leads to: wait why is a stormtrooper tackling me wait how did a stormtrooper get into my study wait that helmet is twenty years out of date wait how did I get outside wait why is the sky the wrong color WAIT WHY IS THE SKY ON FIRE

Bail needs a minute.

And a drink.

(Why is he even on Christophsis while the sky is on fire? Is there actual canon explaining this? Do I care? ...probably not.)

In the interests of not, y’know, dying, Bail decides to just run with it for a while, until he has some breathing room and can figure out wtf is going on.

Bail is a very smart man.

Eventually, he gets his five minutes and comes to the conclusion that nope, this is not a dream, I am apparently back in the past, the War is in its early days. I can, quite possibly, fix things. Stop Palpatine. Save the Republic/Galaxy.

This seems like an excellent plan.

(NB: He is aware that doing this means losing his daughter--or at least his relationship with her/her as he raised her. And a part of him will always wish that...a part of him will always mourn her, and that world/life he lost. But this is the one thing that is worth that sacrifice. Plus, if he missed this chance, the Leia he raised would never forgive him. So a part of him is doing this for her. Giving her the galaxy she deserves, despite how much it costs him.)

The question then becomes...well, how?

He eventually decides to focus his work on the Senate, and try to limit Palpatine’s expansion/power/ascent as much--and as subtly--as he can.

Subtly because, well, he would very much like to not get caught and killed.

Not getting killed also seems like an excellent plan.

Also, pretty much no one is on to Palps yet. I mean, yeah, there are people side-eyeing him a little bit for holding on to/accumulating power the way he does, but what Chancellor hasn’t been accused of such things? And it’s not...it’s not like it will be two and a half/three years from now. And Bail cannot afford to alienate allies he will need later, depending on how successful he is/how long this takes.

Bail has been doing this for a while. He is not taking his success for granted. He is covering all his bases, just in case.

Fortunately, Bail has twenty years of running an underground resistance under his belt. This? This, he can do.

There are other problems too, of course. Like...the War is an actual thing that still needs to be resolved. But there’s not much Bail can personally do about it, not while Palpatine and Dooku are, between the two of them, derailing any attempts at negotiation. Apart from, of course, careful Senate maneuvering to remove Palps from power.

(He’ll figure out a way to deal with Dooku/Grievous/Etc. later. One problem at a time.)

Next question--who does he read in on all of this?

Breha, of course--she is his wife, and his partner. He needs her beside/behind him. Plus, it’s not exactly fair to her, to keep her in the dark about this. She’ll be expecting the husband she knows to come home to her, not a man made...let’s say incredibly cautious by twenty years of, essentially, espionage. To say nothing of the fact that he raised a child, and they’re still--trying. There’s a lot of emotional baggage there, too. They’ll make it work, somehow, he knows they will--but she needs to know. She deserves the truth from him, no matter how hard it is for him to explain/how hard it is for her to hear.

(Look, I have a lot of FEELINGS about Bail and Breha’s relationship. Even though I kind of ship him and Obi-Wan [for which I mostly blame Reprise, despite the fact that said fic doesn’t actually ship them], if I ever wrote something with the two of them together [as I might in this fic, and sort of am in one other though that one it may never actually come up on page], it would be with Breha’s full knowledge and consent. ...end random tangent, sorry.)

As for everyone else...he decides to wait and see, feeling people out as likely possibilities. Just like he and Mon did for twenty years, building the Alliance. Only this time, the barometer is more “who will believe me” as opposed to “who won’t betray me.”

(He’s aware that Obi-Wan and Padme should be pretty high up on that list but--hell, where does he even start?)

(He decides to shelve that problem for now. He’ll tell them when the time is right. ...hopefully, he’ll know when that time arrives.)

And now, the moment I’m sure you’ve been waiting for--how do we approach the whole Darth Vader issue?

You thought I’d forgotten about it, didn’t you.

(I didn’t.)

(Neither did Bail)

Okay, so, the problem, as he sees it, is that he’s...not exactly in a position to intervene.

He had no real personal connection with Anakin the first time around.

Sure, they worked together on occasion, and their relationship was certainly cordial when they did, and of course they had a mutual friend or two, but all their interactions were fairly distant/professional.

Besides, while he can extrapolate/guess a fair amount of what happened (and, more important, how/why it happened), he has no actual knowledge/frame of reference for how accurate his guesses are. (Because, LBR, even Obi-Wan might not know the full story, though he’s at least guessed almost all of it, and even if he did, he wasn’t exactly talking about it in the five minutes they were working out what to do with the twins, etc.) And if he’s wrong, he might well make things worse.

The second problem is that he has no idea how he’ll feel about/react to meeting Anakin again, given that basically the only real context he has here is the future he lived and is now trying to avert. He figures there’s two ways its likely to go:

Option one, nightmare scenario: He meets General Skywalker, and all he sees is Vader. This is...nooooot exactly very productive/conducive to him getting done what he needs to get done. In this case, Bail will avoid him as much as possible, and try to find a way to tip off Padme and/or Obi-Wan.

Option two, acceptable scenario: He meets General Skywalker, and there is a total disconnect between the person he is now and the monster he could become (did become? might become? time travel is weird). In this case, Bail will keep things more or less as they were last time; and focus on derailing Palpatine and fixing the problems in the Senate, and hope that that makes a difference.

And he’ll try to find a way to tip off Obi-Wan and/or Padme. Bail ain’t stupid.

Of course, there are two major factors here that Bail hasn’t considered.

For starters, he’d forgotten how young Anakin was.

True, some of the other Jedi Generals weren’t all that much older (to say nothing of the Padawan Commanders), and he knows there were too-young soldiers in the Alliance, too, but at the same time...

It hadn’t stuck out to him all that much the first time--maybe because it, unfortunately, wasn’t unusual/was just How Things Worked, and his personal context had been of course different, as he’d been significantly younger himself. But, despite that and the continued youth of the Rebellion... Look, dropping back into the GAR now, and seeing this twenty-year-old kid put in these situations is another thing entirely when one is on the far side of sixty (mentally, at least) and all too recently had a child his age.

ON A RELATED NOTE, major factor the second: Bail hadn’t realized just how much like Leia Anakin was.

So, when they finally do meet, Bail starts noticing all kinds of little details--a certain insouciant little smirk, a particular defiant lift to his chin, a familiar inability (equal parts endearing, alarming, and incredibly frustrating) to keep from mouthing off...

So...all of this basically means that, when Bail encounters Anakin, every instinctive Papa Wolf fiber of his being says, “This is my child now. Fight me.”

(well, not so much “fight me.”)

(Bail isn’t really a “fight me” sort of dude.)

(But you get the point.)

So now, Bail has to add ‘bond with Anakin Skywalker and help keep him sane’ to his increasingly-daunting to-do list.

This actually turns out to be...not as difficult as he expected?

(the first half, anyway)

Because, yeah, there’s a bit of a shaky start because Anakin Does Not Like politicians

(unless they’re from Naboo)

(and their name starts with Pa)

But once he works his way past that, it’s--Anakin likes having friends, he wants to like people, and he wants people to like him. Making Friends not his superpower, like it is with Luke, but it’s actually pretty easy to win his affection and respect, if you just reach out to him a little.

(thinking of that one meta post that was going around a couple days ago, about the bit with Ki-Adi Mundi at the Second Battle of Geonosis, talking about how--you know Another Friend in the Order, and then Obi-Wan says it’s a rare thing and look at how it wasn’t actually that hard for Mundi and--anyway, that sort of thing, y’know?)

So, Bail reaches out, and makes friends.

(Good Lord, he thinks, does this kid need a dad. Obi-Wan was that, and did very well, for a while at least, but he’s too thoroughly made the transition to ‘brother’ since the war started and Anakin was Knighted to fill that need.)

(You know what else he needs? is the next thought, as Anakin runs off into unnecessary danger AGAIN. A goddamn leash.)

So, we’re still pretty early in the War, and things start to shift a little bit.

Only a little bit, and fairly subtle. Bail is, after all, used to playing a long game with limited resources and everything to lose.

He worries, sometimes, that he’s moving too slowly in the Senate, but it’s such a delicate balance, if he upsets it...

But he is making progress. ...glacial, minuscule progress, but the galaxy is on a somewhat better path this time around. Palpatine finds things just a little bit harder this time around. Maybe that’ll be enough, and all the little changes will add up. That’s what Bail’s hoping for.

Unfortunately, this is Palpatine, and he has backup plans for his backup plans, and is course-correcting rather nicely.

Fortunately, that means Bail isn’t quite annoying enough to get offed.

Bail is also gradually working people into his network. Mon and Bel Iblis, to start; a few others. He decides against telling anyone he’s from the future. Compartmentalizing is better. Safer.

He involves Padme, too, of course; while he’s still not quite ready/able to approach telling her the full truth (though he knows he can’t get away with half-measures like he can with the others), her support is invaluable. He’s keeping track of what she notices and when, with regard to Palpatine’s machinations. While she is starting to waver a little, she still mostly trusts her former adviser; and Bail knows that she’ll have to decide not to on her own. All he can do is nudge her in the right direction, when he has the opportunity to do so.

He’s also gathering evidence, so that when he finally makes a bold, public strike, he’ll be able to back it up and the Republic will survive the blow to morale and the power vacuum that will inevitably ensue.

Anakin, actually, becomes a bigger change. Because while Bail has become an expert in slow, subtle progress that you don’t notice until it punches you in the face five years later, Anakin is....not.

Also, this is, like, the best year of his life. Even in the original timeline. He has a job he’s good at, he has his wife, he has his brother, he has his sister, he (at least thinks) he has a father figure in Palpatine...

And this time, he also has Bail.

Which means a confidant outside the Order, who is Not Palptaine. Who is, in fact, a very good counterweight for Palpatine because they’re both playing on the same emotional needs.

But Bail, of course, actually genuinely has Anakin’s best interests at heart.

So, Palpatine is starting to notice that Anakin is...worryingly stable. That will never do.

So, he pushes a little bit harder than he did, this early on, in the other timeline.

Not enough to make Anakin notice, of course.

(Smart as he is, Anakin is also really really dumb about some things)

But enough that when someone finally points out that, hey, Palpatine is sort of sketchy, he won’t be quite as resistant to the notion.

Because he feels--unsettled, more often than not, after meeting with Palpatine. And he tells himself it’s just because of the problems the Chancellor is pointing out to him. He convinces himself that’s all, but each time--it’s maybe just a tiny bit harder to believe.

(Strangely enough, although sometimes he and Senator Organa talk about similar things--his issues with the Council, etc.--he never leaves those conversations feeling like this...)

All of this comes to a head--oh, we’ll say about a year later.

Not much has really changed (at least in the parts of the story we, the audience, see) other than Bail is a little more integrated/involved with Our Heroes than in canon. Basically, it’s not just Padme he follows down to the docks with a sidearm to keep her from getting herself killed.

(Side note: he also would very much like to take Ahsoka home and just keep her. BAIL ORGANA IS ADOPTING ALL OF THESE KIDS AND KEEPING THEM SAFE FROM PALPATINE AND HIS SCHEMES, OKAY.)

Anyway. Bail eventually comes forward and tells Anakin--pretty much everything.

This occurs under suitably melodramatic circumstances--i.e., Anakin was playing security/escort for something Bail was doing, and they crash and are stranded together for a few days, or something. Because while Bail is like the chillest dude ever, Anakin attracts more than enough Drama to make up for that.

He’s like a Melodrama Magnet.

Also, them being stranded means Anakin can’t ragequit the conversation, losing all the ground Bail has gained over the last year.

This covers a lot of ground--even though Bail tries to stick to just what he knows is true.

But this is damning enough.

But Anakin needs to know.

“I’m doing this,” he says, “for our daughter.”

“Our daughter,” Anakin repeats.

And then Bail tells him about her. All the things he’s wanted to say this whole year but couldn’t--because it would hurt Breha too much, and who else could he confide in about the daughter he lost?

BASICALLY ALL OF THE LEIA FEELS BECAUSE HER DADS. JUST. HER DADS.

It is a long, difficult conversation, but Anakin--Anakin is not yet so unstable that he won’t listen. And Bail is his friend, someone he trusts. And he--knows there is darkness in him, he remembers what he did in the wake of his mother’s death, and he knows the truth of what Bail is telling him.

“It’s not you,” Bail says. “Not yet. And it doesn’t have to be. We can fix this, before it goes too far. I can’t solve these problems for you, but I can help. I want to help.”

(And he finds a way to shut down that insecure voice in the back of Anakin’s head that doubts Bail’s friendship for a minute there, because he can see those wheels turning, and he knows Anakin well enough by now to guess at those particular cracks in his psyche.)

(Quick note: I did say that this Bail tells Anakin almost everything--but he does leave Luke out of the conversation. As I mentioned before, he’s too cautious not to hedge his bets.)

Another thing Bail does not do is he does not--specifically implicate Palpatine, because he doesn’t know how far Anakin has drifted away from the Chancellor’s influence and doesn’t want to risk a denial-induced overcompensation reaction, where he falls even deeper under the Sith Lord’s shadow.

(but Anakin, while being kind of dumb, is also a very smart man. And he knows that the list of people who have that level of influence on both him and galactic politics as a whole is a very short one.)

They come out of this with the whole--idea, that Bail genuinely trusts Anakin’s abilities, and trusts him to help and do the right thing, and Anakin can come to him for help/perspective when it all gets to be too much, emotionally speaking, without worrying about disappointing him to the point where Bail will abandon him/not want to be his friend anymore.

(Because Bail has seen the worst he could possibly be. As long as Anakin doesn’t go that far...)

After a day or so, they get picked up from wherever they were stranded. Probably by Obi-Wan, who can tell that Something Important happened. But Anakin is being quiet, and Bail deftly changes the subject.

And then they get back to Coruscant, and a different kind of hell breaks loose.

Because Bail made a very slight, but very important miscalculation--Anakin and Leia are a lot alike, in how they approach problems, in how they view the world, in that they both operate from a fairly black-and-white way of thinking--there’s another meta post I’ve read I’m going to reference, talking about how Anakin and Leia are Justice, while Luke and Padme are Mercy.

But Leia has the advantage of a stable childhood. And a certain amount of common sense. These temper those instincts, and help her rein herself in until the time is right. Anakin...not so much.

So, Anakin, once he’s through with his preliminary debrief at the Temple, goes to confront Palpatine, about everything Bail told him, and everything he figured out from there.

(He manages to protect Bail through this, and everything that will come after--he had a vision, he tells his false friend; so convincingly that even Darth Sidious believes.)

Some time later, Bail gets a call from Obi-Wan.

“Have you heard from Anakin? I can’t reach him. Neither can Ahsoka, and he usually doesn’t duck her calls. You’re his friend, I thought, perhaps...”

Bail has a Bad Feeling(tm) about this.

Because Padme hasn’t heard from him, either.

“He’s probably racing,” Obi-Wan says, but the doubt shines clear in his voice. “He’ll be back soon, I’m sure...”

Bail takes a deep breath, because here’s another incredibly difficult conversation he’s been putting off for a year.

It’s time to read Obi-Wan--and Padme--in. On everything, just like he did with Anakin.

...that’s about as far as I have planned out in detail. But there will be a Rescue Mission, and Palpatine will end up Very Very Dead, and life will be--good. The Republic will stabilize, and Bail and Padme and Mon and their allies will fix the problems that Palpatine found and exacerbated there. And the Order will survive and adapt, becoming a little more flexible as it moves forward into a new golden age.

And while a part of Bail still mourns the good parts of his other life, he and Breha will eventually adopt another little girl, as they discussed; and Anakin will practically be his son anyway; and he will watch Leia grow up again, in a peaceful galaxy, the one she has always deserved, and he will be very pleased with what he accomplished.